Dirty Stupid Wisdom with Ben Keaton

I Yam what I Yam – Tattoo’s Crazy
Popeye, the spinach eating cartoon sailor of the 1930s and 40s said it best.
He knew who he was and had the tattoos to prove it.
Identity emerges.
Some know day one and can’t wait to get going.
This is one of those days.

THIS IS A TRUE STORY INKED ON SKIN AND MEMORY.

Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and dom...

Those self-help gurus must live perfect lives, right? So why do they look like they just came out of rehab? Knowing the right thing to do and doing it are not the same thing at all. That’s why bakeries sell out by 2pm.

THIS IS THE STORY OF HUMANITY Vs COMMON SENSE

Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless m...

Acting is a mad business. You get to do things you’d run from in the real world.

'You’ll be naked in this scene.'

'I feckin won’t!'

'So will she.'

'Oh. Ok then.'

Some roles get under your skin. Others swallow you whole. The thrill is intoxicating, the comedown brutal. Somewhere along the way you may forget where the character ends and you begin.

THIS IS A TRUE STORY OF SURVIVAL

Dirty Stupid Wisdom i...

There are lots of ways to lose friends — not returning a lawnmower, fancying the wife, constantly leaving wee on the floor after bathroom visits. All of them in the canon of possibility.

I just didn’t see this one coming.

This episode is about the bewilderment of loss. The not-calling, not-texting, not-saying-goodbye kind of ending that leaves you staring at your phone like it owes you an explanation.

THIS IS A TRUE STORY ABOUT FRIEND...

Ben Keaton is a drinker in constant search of that sweet spot. 

That mix if soft warm, witty repartee embodied by his childhood heroes. This episode is a hymn to booze and online shopping. Those next day deliveries are just full of surprises after a few glasses of red.

 'Did I really order nipple tassels? Well, better try them on then.' 

THIS IS A TRUE STORY BASED ON EXCELLENT DECISIONS MADE UNDER THE INFLUENCE. 

And maybe, j...

Superstition, ghosts, there’s no need to believe in any of that unless it shares your DNA and slips you cash when you’re broke.

This episode is an account of the madness that creeps in
 when ladders, pianos and dead fathers collide.

A TRUE STORY BASED ON UNRESOLVED FEELINGS AND DEAD PEOPLE

And maybe, just maybe, your dead relative can pop back and sort things.

Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor,...

Ben Keaton keeps a list of people he hates.

It’s not a list you’d write down.
It’s a private tally of rage.
Petty. Profound. Occasionally piss-soaked.

This episode is about the fantasies we quietly enjoy and the hatreds we politely deny— It might include a theatre director who pours a pint over your head.  I wonder who HE is?

There’s no grand solution to the things that make us seethe. You can dream about a car, a scream, and ...

Some sights stay with you forever. The shock may even cause you to rewrite history. In this case the bollocks of a time lord in an intimate setting. You don’t plan for it but once those fellas are out there, there’s no unseeing them.

THIS IS A TRUE STORY BASED ON FAILING MEMORY

Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. Short, sharp, funny episodes ...

All Inclusive

Ben Keaton’s feed is having a breakdown. The algorithm is too confident. It thinks it knows us, when we don't know ourselves. He’s starting to question what honesty actually looks like. Not the polite social kind— the real McCoy.

Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast written and read by Ben Keaton – actor, writer, Olivier Award-winner, and domestic philosopher. Short, sharp, funny episodes for restless minds craving sle...

I Lost My Virginity to a Drug-Dealing Nurse

An unflinching tale of sexual awaking, Irish style. Ben Keaton looks back on the miracle of how he lost his virginity — not in a romantic blur of youth, but with a drug-dealing nurse in Holloway in 1970s London. It's a story of hope rewarded, jacket potatoes, and the kind of sex education they never taught in school.

Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast of comic essays written and read by ...

Ben Keaton lives in a harem of detached, super-intelligent women. Every day is optimised. Every need attended to. Every fantasy indulged.

This is the life we all hoped for. The future, squashed into a one-bedroom flat. No wonder his bread always rises—these women wouldn’t have it any other way.

The perfect life. On subscription.

Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast of comic essays written and read by Ben Keaton — actor, writer, Olivier Aw...

A Beer by the Bins

Ben Keaton shares a pint with The Boy and lays out his plans. What begins as a conversation about funerals turns into something else entirely: a meditation on family, finances, and the strange tenderness of talking plainly about the inevitable. Set in a pub yard with a view of the church, this is full of life — unexpected laughter, small confessions, a passing dog, and a boy in love. 

Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podca...

Nature, Our Greatest Enemy

We are told that Nature is our mother. That she nurtures us, heals us, calms us. But that's nonsense.  In reality she shits in fields, floods towns, stings children, and nurtures mice that breed and eat their own. In this episode, Ben Keaton dismantles the myth of Nature.  Based on his lifelong distrust of the outdoors, his conviction is total.

Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast of comic essays written a...

Who the hell are they?
They call themselves cousins, uncles, aunts — they sit on your bed, take second helpings at lunch, and speak with authority. But how did we get to this? Ben Keaton struggles with the notion of family.

This episode explores the strange obligations of blood, the grim machinery of weddings and christenings, and how real connection can sneak in where it’s least expected. It’s about what family is, what it isn...

What makes a nation tick?
For some it’s power, for others poetry. There's definitely a drum beating in the Irish — a kind of rhythm that can lift a room. In this episode, Ben Keaton wrestles with a label he never asked for and slowly came to wear with pride. It’s about identity, intensity, and the strange business of discovering who you are — before you’ve realised it.

Dirty Stupid Wisdom is a podcast of comic essays writt...