Carrying Crosses We Didn’t Choose - Luke 9:23

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Some crosses don’t come wrapped in purpose…
they show up looking like inconvenience, frustration, and “this was NOT part of my plan.”

In this episode of Divine Shenanigans, Brynn gets real about what Jesus meant in Luke 9:23—and why “take up your cross daily” is a lot less aesthetic and a lot more surrender than we’d like.

We’re talking about the kind of obedience that doesn’t get applause.
 The kind of surrender that costs your ego.
 And the kind of growth that happens when you let go of needing to be right, in control, or understood.

Through Scripture, personal storytelling, and some very honest “I wish I handled that better” moments, this episode explores:

✨ The difference between the crosses we create and the ones God actually asks us to carry
 ✨ Why surrender often feels like loss before it feels like freedom
 ✨ What it looks like to follow Jesus when it’s inconvenient, uncomfortable, and unseen
 ✨ How to recognize when your ego is louder than your obedience
 ✨ Real-life faith struggles (because we are not doing fake, polished Christianity here)

You’ll also hear:

🎙️ A personal story about a pride-filled moment that turned into a surrender lesson
 📞 Community confessions that will make you laugh and feel seen
 📖 Biblical stories that bring cross-bearing into real-life perspective
 📝 Holy Homework to help you lay down one thing you’ve been holding onto
 🎶 Song of the Week: Garden Sweat — a raw reflection on faith that feels like showing up when nothing seems to be growing

If you’ve ever thought:

“God… this wasn’t what I signed up for.”
 “I know what I should do… I just don’t want to.”
 “Why does obedience feel so hard sometimes?”

This episode is for you.

👉 Because sometimes the cross isn’t what’s happening around you…
 it’s what God is asking you to release within you.

🎧 Listen now and join the Divine Shenanigans community—where we’re learning, laughing, and loving Jesus… one messy, honest step at a time.

Support the show

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🎶 Also from Brynn:
Check out my music – BrynnElise: Worship & Words – available on all streaming platforms and YouTube!

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
It's divided.
Holy clarity with grace.
It's sanctified clarity.
With print on the mic and truthin her hands.
She's breaking down the Biblewith laughter and a plan.
It's divine.

(00:21):
Oh, it's divine shenanigans.

SPEAKER_00 (00:28):
Hey friends, welcome back to the Divine Shenanigans
Podcast, where we are learning,laughing, and loving Jesus, one
slightly chaotic, very real,definitely not Pinterest perfect
moment at a time.
I'm your host Brynn,professional overthinker,
recovering control enthusiast,and someone who has tried, on

(00:51):
multiple occasions, tospiritually negotiate with God
like He runs a customer servicedesk.
Go ahead and laugh.
Y'all know you've done the samething.
Well, today, we're talking aboutsomething that sounds real
spiritual until it actuallyshows up in your life and ruins
your plans.
Carrying crosses we didn'torder.

(01:14):
Because listen, we love the ideaof following Jesus until it
requires surrender we didn't preapprove.
So grab your coffee, yourjournal, or your emotional
support snack, no judgment here,and let's get into it.
Jesus says in Luke nine twentythree, Whoever wants to be my
disciple must deny themselvesand take up their cross daily

(01:38):
and follow me.
Daily.
Not once, not when it'sconvenient, not when we feel
spiritually productive.
Daily.
We turn take up your cross intolike cute wall art.
Like farmhouse decorChristianity.
Take up your cross next to awooden sign that says bless this

(01:59):
mess.
But Jesus wasn't decorating aliving room.
He was describing death to self.
So what this actually means,taking up your cross means
letting go of needing to beright, letting go of control,
letting go of revenge, lettinggo of ego, letting go of the

(02:22):
version of your life you thoughtyou deserved, and choosing
obedience, even when it'sinconvenient, even when it's
misunderstood, even when nobodyclaps for it.
Alright, I'm gonna tell onmyself real quick, because I
wish I could say that I learnedthis gracefully, but no, no, mm

(02:45):
no.
So there was this moment, andI'm sure none of y'all have
experienced this, where I wasabsolutely a hundred percent
spiritually convinced that I wasright.
Like biblically right, logicallyright, emotionally justified.

(03:05):
Basically, I had a wholePowerPoint in my head titled Why
I Am Correct and Everyone ElseNeeds Growth.
And someone wronged me.
And I wanted validation,justice, and just a tiny amount
of dramatic vindication.
You know those Christ-likethings.
And God said, Let it go.

(03:28):
My response, respectfully, Lord,no.
Because if I let it go, theywin.
And God said, or you're free.
Y'all, that was my cross.
Not the situation, not the otherperson, my ego.

(03:49):
What I wanted was to be right,to be seen, to be justified.
And what God asked, to besurrendered, to be quiet, to
trust him instead of provingmyself.
And let me tell you, carryingthat cross, it felt like choking
on my own pride.

(04:09):
And that's where we need to talkabout something important.
Not every hard thing is a crossfrom God.
Some of it we build ourselves.
Crosses that we create, bystaying in drama, God told us to
leave, holding on to offense,proving a point instead of

(04:29):
protecting our peace, replayingarguments in our head like it's
a Netflix series.
We call that carrying a cross,but really we're carrying
baggage.
Crosses that God asks us tocarry, forgiveness when it's
undeserved.
So let's start here.
Because before there was a crossto carry, there was a decision

(04:53):
to surrender.
In the Garden of Gethamain,Jesus is praying, not calmly,
not casually.
Scripture shows us somethingraw.
He is overwhelmed.
He's distressed.
He knows what's coming.
And he says, Father, if it'spossible, let this cup pass from

(05:16):
me.
That's honesty.
That's not weak faith.
That's real faith.
But then he follows it with yetnot my will, but yours be done.
That right there is where thecross actually begins.
We think the cross starts whenthings get hard, but the cross

(05:37):
starts when your will and God'swill don't match, and you choose
his anyway.
You ever had a moment where youknew that God was asking and
your immediate reaction was Isthere another option?
Like a spiritual are you surebutton?
Because surrender soundsbeautiful until it costs you

(06:00):
something.
Jesus didn't want the suffering,but he chose obedience over
preference.
And that is the model.
Not pretending it's easy,choosing it anyway.
Now let's move from willingsurrender to unexpected
assignment.
Let's talk about Simon ofCyrene.

(06:22):
Simon is just living his life.
He's passing through he didn'twake up that morning thinking
today feels like a great day tobe pulled into someone else's
suffering.
And suddenly Roman soldiers grabhim and force him to carry
Jesus' cross.
No warning, no preparation, noconsent.

(06:44):
And if we're honest, this iswhere a lot of us struggle.
We're okay carrying crosses wechoose.
But the ones we didn't order,the ones that interrupt our
plans, the ones that feelunfair, those are the ones that
make us go, God, this was not onmy schedule.

(07:04):
Simon didn't volunteer, but hisobedience still mattered.
And sometimes your cross isn'tsomething you choose.
It's something you were handed.
A situation you didn't create, aresponsibility you didn't
expect, a season you didn't planfor.
And you're standing there like,why me?

(07:27):
Not every cross is punishment.
Some crosses are participation.
Participation in growth,refinement, deeper dependence on
God.
Simon carried the cross, but healso walked beside Jesus.
And sometimes the thing thatfeels like interruption is

(07:48):
actually an invitation.
Now let's look at the other sideof this, because not everyone
chooses the cross.
The rich young ruler, the crosswe walk away from.
This one this one hits.
A man comes to Jesus and asks,What must I do to inherit
eternal life?
And Jesus tells him, Follow thecommandments.

(08:12):
The man says, I've done allthat.
So Jesus goes deeper.
He says, Sell everything youhave and follow me.
And the man walks away.
Not angry, not rebellious, butsad.
Because he couldn't let go.
His cross wasn't suffering.
It was surrender.

(08:33):
It was letting go of what hetrusted more than God.
We love following Jesus until heasks for the thing we're most
attached to.
And for us, that might not bemoney.
It might be control, comfort,validation, identity, being
right.

(08:53):
And when God says lay that down,we feel the tension.
Some crosses aren't heavy,they're just hard to release.
And sometimes we don't carry thecross because we don't want to
let go of what's in our hands.
So let's bring this alltogether.
We've got three moments here.

(09:15):
Jesus and Gethame, the cross youchoose through surrender, Simon
of Cyrene, the cross you didn'tchoose but still carry, the rich
young ruler, the cross you walkaway from.
And if we're being honest, we'vebeen all three.
We've had the moments ofsurrender, moments of

(09:37):
resistance, moments where wewalked away.
Following Jesus is not aboutperfection, it's about choosing
surrender again, picking up thecross again, letting go again,
even after we've resistedbefore.
So as we move forward, I wantyou to sit with this question.

(09:59):
What cross is God asking me tocarry right now?
And what am I still trying tohold on to instead?
Because the answer to thatquestion might be the very place
your growth begins.
Alright, it's time Y'all knowwhat this means Community

(10:19):
Confessions.
Welcome to the part of the showwhere we realize we are not
alone in our spiritual chaos.
Confession number one.
Susan from Colorado sent in Iknew God told me to stop
arguing, but I sent one moretext.
And then three follow ups, andthen a paragraph.

(10:40):
Doug from Minnesota said Istayed in a situation way too
long and called it beingfaithful when it was actually
fear.
Then Tammy from Georgia sharedthis.
I prayed for peace, but keptpicking up the same offense
every day.
Listen, we laugh when we hearthese stories, but we've all

(11:04):
done it.
So how do we actually live thisout?
First thing we can ask, is thismy cross or my ego?
Before reacting?
Is this obedience or am I tryingto win?
Practice daily surrender, notdramatic, not performative, just
small daily moments.

(11:25):
Choosing silence, choosingkindness, choosing to walk away.
Let God handle what you keeptrying to control.
Because control feels powerful,but it is so exhausting.
Expect it to feel uncomfortable.
If it feels like dying to self,you're probably doing it right.

(11:47):
Alright, it's time for holyhomework.
I want you to identify one egoattachment.
Being right, being validated,being in control, being seen.
Write a private prayer of honestturning.
Not polished, not pretty, justreal.
Here's my example.

(12:07):
God, I don't want to let go ofthis.
I want to be right, I want themto understand.
But I feel you asking me to laythis down.
So I'm choosing, even if I don'tfeel ready, to trust you more
than my need to win.
Help me carry the cross you gaveme, not the one I built.

(12:31):
Alright, before we close today,I want to sit in something for a
minute.
Because this message aboutcarrying crosses, it doesn't
just live in scripture.
Sometimes it shows up in songs,and this week's song is one of
those.
This one is called Garden Sweat.
And listen, this is not a cuteaesthetic barefoot in the

(12:53):
wildflowers kind of song.
This is dirt under your nails,mascara halfway gone, praying
while pacing the kitchen ateleven forty seven PM kind of
faith.
This song came from a seasonwhere I was doing all the right
things.
Praying, showing up, obeying,trying to trust God.

(13:14):
And still feeling like nothingwas changing.
Y'all been there?
Where you're like God, I amwatering this garden and all I
see is dirt.
And what hit me was thisObedience doesn't always feel
fruitful right away.
Sometimes it feels like worksweaty, repetitive, unseen work.

(13:36):
Because spiritual growth looks alot more like gardening than
fireworks.
Gardening faith looks likeshowing up when you don't feel
inspired, trusting seeds youcan't see yet, pulling weeds
that keep growing back.
Watering soil that looksunchanged.

(13:57):
And here's the thing nobodyposts the garden sweat part.
We post the harvest, we post theflowers, we don't post the part
where we're like, God, I'mtired, and this is not cute
anymore.
Carrying your cross often lookslike tending a garden you didn't
ask for.

(14:18):
Because some crosses are notdramatic.
They're daily, quiet,repetitive.
It's choosing patience again,forgiving again, surrendering
again, trusting again.
Even when your feelings say,this is pointless.
There is a line in the heart ofthis song that came from a

(14:40):
really honest place.
If I'm gonna be tired anyway,let it be from growing something
holy.
Because let's be honest, we'regonna be tired either way.
We can be tired from holdinggrudges, trying to control
everything, replaying the samepain, or we can be tired from

(15:04):
healing, trusting, surrendering,showing up with God.
Like, you ever notice how we'llsay I'm exhausted, but then
still choose chaos?
Like, ma'am, sir, we are nottired because of obedience.
We are tired because we areemotionally shadow boxing

(15:25):
situations God told us torelease three Tuesdays ago.
And I say that with love.
There were moments in thatseason where I thought, maybe
nothing is happening.
Maybe I'm doing this wrong.
Maybe God is quiet because Imissed it.
But what I didn't see, what washappening underground.

(15:47):
Roots were forming, strength wasbuilding, but in what we trust
God is doing anyway.
This connects so deeply to letus not grow weary in doing good.
Galatians six nine.
Because you will get weary.
But the promise is there will bea harvest, just not always on

(16:10):
your timeline.
So if you're listening right nowand you feel like you're doing
the work, you're showing up,you're trying to surrender,
you're carrying the cross, andnothing seems to be changing.
Let me remind you, you are notwasting your obedience.
You're not unseen in youreffort.
You're not stuck.

(16:31):
You are growing.
Even if it feels like dirt rightnow.
I want you to use this song thisweek as a spiritual reset
moment.
Listen to it when you'refrustrated.
Listen to it when you want toquit.
Listen to it when obediencefeels pointless.
And instead of asking, why isn'tanything happening?

(16:53):
Ask, what is God growing in meright now?
Here's a simple reflection thatyou can journal with.
Where am I doing unseen work inmy life right now?
What might God be growingbeneath the surface?
Alright, take a breath.
Because I know that one probablyhit a little deeper than

(17:15):
expected.
But sometimes the most powerfulgrowth in our faith comes from
quiet, sweaty, unseen moments.
And that is holy.
The song of the day, GardenSweat, we'll play at the end of
the episode, so stick around andlet it speak to you during this
time.
I hope that you enjoy it as muchas I do.

(17:37):
Please check out all of my musicon YouTube under Brainy Leaf's
music.
I'm sure you'll find somethingthere that you like.
Now let's carry that into ourclosing prayer.
God, we don't like crosses wedidn't choose.
We like comfort, we likecontrol.
We like being right, but you arecalling us deeper, not into

(18:00):
perfection, but into surrender.
Help us recognize what you'vebeen asking us to carry and what
we need to lay down.
Give us strength for the dailydying to self.
Give us wisdom to chooseobedience.
Give us peace when letting gofeels like loss.

(18:23):
We trust you even here, evennow.
Amen.
If this episode hit yousomewhere real, that's not
guilt.
That's growth knocking on thedoor.
Share this with a friend whomight be carrying something
heavy right now, or maybecarrying something they were
never meant to.

(18:44):
And as always, thank you forbeing part of this beautifully
messy, faith filled, slightlychaotic community.
And speaking of community, youcan be a part of Divine
Shenanigans all week long.
Find me on school, that'sspelled SKO L.
This is where we have dailymorning and evening prayers,

(19:06):
devotionals, and discussionsabout these very podcast
episodes.
It's an amazing community, andI'd love for you to find us
there.
Best part, it's free.
You can also find me onSubstack.
This is where I have our monthlynewsletter.
It's free also, so go and signup with your email address.
To find my music channel onYouTube, search under Bryn Elise

(19:31):
Music.
The link is in the descriptionof this podcast.
I'm Brynn, and this is DivineShenanigans.
God bless you, my friend, andI'll see y'all next time.

SPEAKER_02 (19:48):
Midnight in the all trees, the egg is the holding
back.
The waiter food is coming.

(22:01):
None my will, none my way.
Even here I will stay.
Though the cross is drawingnear, love is louder than the
fear.
And guarding sweat and sacredground where surrender wins.

(22:23):
Where the war inside the heartis where redemption begins.
If there's any other way, stillthe answer stands Salvation in a
whispered yes within your hands.

(22:44):
In the garden you decided whatgrace would cost to give, and
because you chose surrender, nowthe broken gets to live.