September 23, 2025 • 49 mins
This is the raw, unfiltered story you didn’t know you needed today. Nicole went from sleeping on rooftops at 14 to becoming a powerhouse mortgage strategist and business owner — all while balancing motherhood, rebuilding after heartbreak, and redefining what success really means.
In this viral-worthy episode of The Stellar Talk Show, we dive deep into resilience, money mindset, and why saying NO can be your most powerful business move. Nicole shares her journey of survival, struggle, and unstoppable growth — proving that your comeback can always be stronger than your setback.
Whether you’re a first-time homebuyer, a new immigrant, a woman in business, or someone starting over, this episode will light a fire in you to get up, rebuild, and thrive.
🚀 Listen now and join thousands who are turning pain into power, fear into freedom, and dreams into action!
resilience stories, women in finance, mortgage tips, motherhood journey, mindset shift, business comeback, authentic entrepreneurship, real estate advice, wealth building, financial freedom, female entrepreneurs
#StellarTalkShow #FromRockBottomToRise #MoneyMindset #WomenInFinance #AuthenticBusiness #MotherhoodAndMoney #RebuildAndRise #EntrepreneurLife #MortgageTips #WealthBuilding #InspiringJourneys #ViralPodcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:22):
When I heard your story, that actually gives me a
lot of inspiration.
SPEAKER_01 (00:28):
I was uh pretty much on my own.
Where I would sleep in parks.
Oh wow.
SPEAKER_00 (00:34):
Looking at you, I would never imagine that you
have that backstory foryourself.
I am who I am, and I'm proud ofthat.
And I am very proud of who youhave become, Nicole.
You never know how strong youare until being strong is your
only choice.
Today's guest, Nicole Ferrugia,is living proof of that.
She went from sleeping onrooftops at age 15 to spending
(00:58):
nearly two decades in law tobuilding a thriving mortgage
business, all while overcomingpersonal heartbreak, fertility
struggles, postpartumdepression, and having to
rebuild everything from scratchin one of the toughest markets
we've ever seen.
But here's the part that willmake you lean in that Nicole
(01:18):
doesn't just share thehighlights.
She's here to give you the realstory, the messy middle and the
mindset shift, and thestrategies that helped her go
from survival mode to a life ofpurpose, profit and power.
So whether you're a first-timehomebuyer, a new immigrant
building a fresh start in thiscountry, or someone who just
(01:39):
needs proof that you can comeback from anything, this episode
is your permission slip torights.
Stay with us because what Nicoleis about to share might just be
the spark that ignites your nextchapter.
Hi Nicole, welcome back to theshow.
Thank you for helping me again.
Oh, most definitely.
Nicole, when I heard your story,that actually gives me a lot of
(02:02):
inspiration.
So take us back to like, youknow, to the young Nicole.
Tell us all about it.
SPEAKER_01 (02:08):
Okay, well, we're going back to when I was 15
years old.
I was uh pretty much on my own.
And I had some very challengingtimes, but I I attribute it all
to who I am today.
So definitely no regrets there.
But um, but yes, I was on myown.
It was shortly after my 15thbirthday.
Um, and I had very many eveningsand many nights where I would
(02:32):
sleep in parks.
Um, when it was really cold, Iwould sleep, I would sneak into
there was a high-rise apartmentbuilding and I would sneak into
there and I would climb all theway up.
I would get my exercise, climball the way up to the top floor,
and like right before where youget to the roof, basically,
there's like a mechanical kindof room and area.
(02:53):
Yeah.
And uh and I would sleep there.
And um, if you were to ask anyof my kind of friends from from
from back in the day, nobodyreally knew what was happening.
I didn't, it wasn't um, itwasn't an embarrassment thing.
I think I just didn't wantanyone to know or to feel sorry
for me or anything like that.
So I uh yeah, I just kind ofkept it very, very quiet.
(03:15):
So there'd be a day where I'd belike visiting in my friends,
having my you know, over myfriends for dinner.
And then if it was one of thoseevenings where you know I didn't
couldn't go home and or anythinglike that, then I would go to my
one of two places depending onwhere I was.
SPEAKER_00 (03:27):
Oh wow.
Looking at you, I would neverimagine that you have that
backstory for yourself.
And this is why I tell everybodylike you know, no matter who you
meet, everybody carries thestory for you.
You never know.
SPEAKER_01 (03:39):
And I always say like be nice to people, you be
kind, but you don't know whatthey're going through, right?
Like, even sometimes I try tolike just remind myself like
you, you know, you meet somebodyand they're super grumpy or
they're snapping at you becauseyou know, you I don't know,
driving, something like that.
And like honestly, you just younever know what they're what
they're going through.
Going to you, you just you neverknow.
And I like I didn't talk aboutthis until like last year, I
(04:03):
think was the first time.
Um I just you know, and it'swhat my close friends, of
course, knew over the years, butI mean like I didn't really
speak about this until just veryrecently, and I'm in my 40s,
that's a long time.
SPEAKER_00 (04:14):
Yeah, and that takes a lot of confidence and strength
to talk about a past that is notas pretty as you would wish it
was, right?
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Oh my god, thank you so much fortaking the time to come here,
you know, and you know, sayingyes to sharing your story with
us because that is huge, Nico.
Kudos to you.
SPEAKER_01 (04:31):
I appreciate that.
Thank you.
Thank you for giving me theplatform to to have a voice.
And the goal is to just be ableto share that experience and you
know, just just hopefully helpsomebody, right?
Because if you can if you can,you know, instill in somebody
that we are not just a directresult of you know our our
circumstances, that we canchange that path, redirect
(04:54):
ourselves.
Um, I think that's that'ssomething that we need to we
need to share.
And you know, I I think for solong I was maybe worried or
concerned that people would umyou know maybe see me as as or
feel sorry or see me as weak orthings like that.
I just didn't know you know whathow that story would be
interpreted.
And uh when I finally did startto share it, I could see that
(05:16):
people were like, oh my gosh,like and then you you inspire
others to share their storiesand you talk and then you you
just connect that much more withpeople because it's so real,
right?
SPEAKER_00 (05:25):
That's true, that's true.
Oh my god, I can't imaginesleeping on a rooftop at the age
of 15, especially in Canada.
The weather is like everywhere.
SPEAKER_01 (05:34):
Well, that was the whole reason.
So the the the the park that Ium spent many nights in, um, it
was uh literally a house.
Like, you know, when you go tothe the playgrounds and you know
the kids play in the in the inthe park, that's that's what it
was.
So um as silly as it sounds, Iam so passionate about putting
(05:55):
people in homes now because itlike I I remember what that that
home you know it was was to me,the meaning of it, the
symbolism.
Um so I remember when I boughtmy very first property, um, it
was in my my 30s, and it was asmall little condo, 500 square
feet.
I balled, like I sat on thefloor the day that I got the
(06:18):
keys.
I had no furniture yet, likenothing.
And a friend of mine was with meat the time, and I just was
like, because it was so I I wasso proud, I was so excited.
I was like, I did this, right?
So I that's how I I guess I'mvery much um invested and
emotionally invested in all ofmy clients.
I love all of them equally, butmy first-time home buyers
especially because I have thatpassion.
SPEAKER_00 (06:38):
Because you connect with them really well, it comes
from a personal space, right?
Yes, 100%.
Most definitely.
So tell me your your mindset atthat age, Nicolette, 15 years
old, a girl in Toronto in inOntario.
Um, you know, how how was that?
Like, you know, how what was themindset at that time?
And what was the pivoting momentthere?
SPEAKER_01 (07:00):
There was definitely fear, and you know, I was I was
scared for sure.
But I I can say that now, but Idon't know if I actually knew
that at the time.
And I say that because it likethat was my life.
That's what I that's just what Iknew.
Survival mode.
Yes, it kicks in.
And it kicks in, it'sinstinctual, and you know, like
(07:22):
it I I I'm a mother, as youknow, and like if I think back
now and I'm like, you know, myson on his own sleeping in like
I I would I would die.
Like I, you know, and I so but II didn't know any of that.
You just you just exact exactlylike you said, it's that
survival, right?
You just go, and I just rememberthat as as scared as I was and
as you know sad as I was, andall of the feelings, you know,
(07:46):
you feel all the feelings.
I just was like this, I kepttelling myself always this is
temporary, like it's not alwaysgoing to be like this.
Like it it will get better.
Yeah, I had no idea how, I justknew that I wasn't going to it
wasn't gonna be like thisforever.
SPEAKER_00 (08:02):
Forever.
Yeah, yeah.
That is like no, it's very hardto have that mindset when you're
in the deep bottom of things,right?
And um, I think that is themindset that you do need at that
time to break through that.
SPEAKER_01 (08:16):
And I don't know where it came from, if I'm being
completely honest.
This is where I just feel likeit it is innate, like we're
we're built like this, you know,in in some sort of you know,
innate uh or genetics orhowever, like we're built
certain ways.
Of course, you have to topractice that, you have to, you
know, otherwise you can go adifferent route.
But like I was just I've alwaysbeen like that.
(08:37):
So given how I grew up, I was,you know, it was a a very um
poor neighborhood as well, too.
So there was a lot of crime, itwas a lot of all of those
things, and I just remember youknow seeing that, and I'm just
like I I don't want any of thatfor myself, right?
It was just I was like, no, so Iwas a straight-A student going
(08:57):
through you know school,working, living, like you know,
trying to pay rent.
I it was very difficult for meto try to even find places to to
rent when I, you know,eventually um needed to.
The first little while um I wasliving with my um with my mom.
I I bounced around quite a bit,but I was living with my mom for
a while.
My mom has a lot of mentalhealth issues as well, too, so
(09:17):
that's part of where all of uskind of came from.
Yeah.
And um so for the first while itwas it was sporadic.
So it was like I wasn'tsleeping, you know, for for the
full, you know, year orwhatever.
It would be like days here, daysthat.
And then when I eventually hadto, you know, find my own place,
it was so difficult because Ihad to, who was gonna rent to a
kid?
Yeah.
Like nobody is, you know, so umit was it was difficult.
(09:41):
Um, but you meet amazing peoplealong the way, and you just like
I just was like, okay, hey, I'vegotta, you know, I've got to
work, I've gotta hustle, I'vegotta grind, and I'm actually
very grateful for those thingsbecause that has transitioned or
translated into, you know,again, who I am today.
Um because I was I always feltlike I had to work that much
harder to kind of prove myselfbecause I didn't have even when
(10:02):
I got older in in in my legaldays, I didn't have all of the
degrees that everybody else hadthat I was competing against,
you know, just because mycircumstances didn't allow for
that.
But I was like, no, that's okay,like I can, you know, outperform
people and learn as I go.
SPEAKER_00 (10:15):
Yes, exactly.
I learn as I go, yeah.
And you know, I really like thefact that you mentioned that um
it wasn't easy, but you need tobe strong to get yourself there.
Um, that actually very resonateswith me really well because you
know it wasn't like you know, Iknow there's a lot of people
like in a lot of audience rightnow listening to us, they might
be in that space in in theirlife, like it's not easy,
(10:37):
they're just starting right now,they are lost in the process.
But keep believing in yourselfand keep at it, don't give up,
make the right choices.
I know when you come to thatspace, you actually get exposed
to a lot of opportunities thatis that may not be the right
choice for you.
Yes, just being very mindfulabout what the values that you
(10:58):
want to uphold for yourself,which is exactly what you did,
Nicola.
Right?
Thank you, and that thatstrength, that struggle that you
took as a challenge to to buildthe life that you have built for
yourself right now.
SPEAKER_01 (11:12):
Thank you for thank you for for saying that.
And I I I do agreewholeheartedly, and it's I think
it's also I wanna I wannaemphasize that you you know we
have to find a happy medium, andI don't know how because it's
it's it's so difficult, but youdo have to find a happy medium
between you know pushingyourself and and and but not
also succumbing to those fears.
(11:33):
Because I know like for myself,if I look back, I'm very proud
of what I've accomplished and Iand I and I truly am grateful
and proud of that.
But I also know that if I didn'tlet myself be fueled by a lot of
that fear and even like thatscarcity mindset, I probably
would have been further along orat least accomplished the same
things I have now, but muchearlier.
(11:54):
Because even when I got into myadult um, you know, life and my
career, um, wanting to beself-employed and all those
kinds of things, I I just wasvery scared for so long that I I
just didn't take a lot of thosejumps because I was like all of
the what ifs, right?
Like it was just it was veryscary.
So once I got to a place where Iwas like stable, I'm like, okay,
this is safer.
(12:14):
This is this is safer, right?
So um, you know, you you need toto allow that that fear to fuel
you and push you, but also nothold you back from some of the
bigger things that we know we'recapable of and we have to
believe we're capable of.
SPEAKER_00 (12:27):
Yeah, that's beautiful.
That's the beauty of strengththat women hold.
That's that's absolutely and wedon't know we have it.
We don't know we have it.
We don't maybe we do to anextent, but we don't know.
Yeah, we don't recognize it on adaily basis, but once you sit
down, breathe, and look back,I'm like, that is oh my god,
right?
Yeah, it's it's true.
SPEAKER_01 (12:45):
Like you, and you when you do the reflection,
you're like, like even myselfnow, I speak about these things,
but sometimes even if I pullmyself out of my body and I
listen to the story, and I againI apply it to Kai, like my son,
or something, and I'm like, oh,okay, like you did you did good,
you know, you pat yourself onyour back because you're like
wow, yeah, it it it's it's yeah,very it's you need the strength.
SPEAKER_00 (13:06):
You need the strength, yeah.
Most definitely, and you know,at times like that, when you are
in that moment, um hearing likeno, it's not only you, other
people went through similarjourneys like you did, and they
made it, and how they made it,what was the mindset, what was
the strategy, what was the goal,those are game changes, and
that's exactly why this platformactually brings much value to
(13:29):
the audience because that'sexactly what we share.
SPEAKER_01 (13:32):
It's inspiration and people can see.
Like, I'm a firm believer, and Ikind of said it earlier, like we
can redirect ourselves, like weare not just the automatic
result of our circumstances,right?
Like, if I look back to majorityof my friends and the people who
I had in my life at that timewhen I was so young, sadly,
majority of them did not take asimilar route as as I did,
(13:55):
right?
And and it's because they'rejust like this is this is my
life, this is this is the norm,right?
And and there is absolutely nojudgment.
I I mean that in no way, I justmean like you have to truly
believe that no, I can changethis, even when you don't know
how, because that's the that'sthe biggest thing.
Yeah, I had no idea.
I just knew I wasn't gonna, itwas temporary, right?
SPEAKER_00 (14:13):
Yeah, but you just you believed in it and you kept
that.
That's the part.
Exactly.
No kudos to you, Nicole.
Hearing this, I know I had a lotof respect for you since I got
to know you, but it actuallygrew like in tremendous amounts,
you know, after hearing yourstory and what you have achieved
throughout that journey.
Thank you.
Yeah, thank you for sharingthat.
Uh, let's talk about uh your umcareer part.
(14:33):
So from that to getting to youmentioned that you were in legal
before getting into uh financesand mortgages.
Tell us a little bit about that.
How did that uh shift happenfrom where you are?
How did how were you able to getyourself from there to somewhere
that you can call call that youare now employed?
Yeah, and how did that shifthappen?
SPEAKER_01 (14:53):
For sure.
So the the legal um wassomething I was always
passionate about.
So so that was that was mything.
Like I I love to educate, toteach people, um, you know, just
that whole justice, like I lovedall that.
So when I was in high school, umI I took you know all the um
elective courses, I did a lot ofthe law courses.
Um and then when you I thinkyou're 15 when I did my first
(15:15):
co-op course, like the theplacement, so I did that, and um
I I don't know, beg or harass isthe right word, but I made sure
that I got a job after becausewhen I when the co-op placement
was done, it was like sixmonths, and I literally asked if
I could if I could be hired.
And the lawyer at the time waslike, You're you're too young,
like you know, I I I you know Ican't have you know, it was a
(15:36):
co-op placement, and that wasit.
SPEAKER_00 (15:37):
How old were you, if you don't mind?
SPEAKER_01 (15:39):
I think I was either 15 or 16 at the time.
I want to say maybe I think itwas 16.
Yeah, because how grade, Iguess, maybe grade 10?
I can't remember, but I waspretty sure I was I was 16, was
the first time I got exposed toit.
And then within that period oftime, I took the bus every day
to this was after the co-op.
I took the bus every single dayto go like until she hired me,
basically.
(16:00):
It's like I need to, I have thispassion, I don't care if I have
to answer phones, like I just Iwant to do this.
So um I did that uh and I I justI loved it, you know, right
right away.
I had exposure to criminal law,immigration, family law, all
that kind of stuff, some realestate.
Um, but then um a couple yearslater, again, I was just always
in in that field, still going toschool.
(16:22):
Um, then I had the opportunityto uh work for some very big
firms in in um downtown Charles,like in the path in the
financial district.
Okay.
So that's where I spent themajority of my career.
And that was just really likehead down grinding, you know,
kind of you know, provingmyself.
Um, and because I started soyoung, I advanced fairly
quickly.
I spent about 18 years in total,but um it was one of those
(16:44):
things where I just kind ofcapped out, right?
Like I had I was, you know,managing teams, doing all these
kinds of things.
I had basically kind of you knowbuilt um a firm as well too with
some partners.
And so it was one of thosethings where I was like, but
what now?
So if I'm being honest, when itcomes to where I am now,
finance, I I don't even likenumbers.
Like I did not expect to ever behere, but it was a calling for
(17:10):
me, and I say that because itjust naturally happened.
So fast forward to I eventuallygot the strength to um kind of
quit the firms, and I wasconsulting in the legal space.
I had a lot of business andoperations, business management
experience just from all of thatexperience over the years.
So I ended up um helping afriend of mine who was a
mortgage broker who was tryingto be basically become a builder
(17:32):
and do um a bunch of you knowwork in that scene, so I had
exposure there, and then um wordkind of just got round.
Um I had a previous businesspartner and I started working
with her and was you knowhelping scale the business.
And as I was kind of overseeingthings from an operations
perspective, I would justnaturally start to get referrals
because people that werespeaking to me would be like,
oh, you know, sending mebusiness, and I'm like, this
(17:53):
this wasn't the intention, likethat wasn't what I was planning
on doing, but I I realized thatI was actually helping people,
like by just being genuine andbeing honest, like people wanted
to deal with me, yeah, and I'm afirm believer that you can teach
anyone the textbook um basics ofany industry.
It's it's like in our industry,for example, anybody can learn
(18:15):
to be, you know, but it's it'sdealing with people, it's it's
the people skills, it's thestuff that you can't teach,
right?
That is so important.
And so uh I just kept you knowkind of naturally, like I said,
getting referrals and stuff.
And I was like, okay, well maybemaybe I've got something here.
Yeah.
And it just kind of organicallyhappened, and and and here I am.
And even um, I went through aperiod of time where uh I know
(18:38):
we'll probably talk about this,but I I I lost everything.
I kind of had to decide how Iwas going to rebuild my life,
and I thought about possiblygoing back into legal.
I did question, you know, do Iwant to be here, what do I want
to do?
And I was like, no, this is thisis my this is my thing.
SPEAKER_00 (18:51):
Yeah, and I knew absolutely best at it.
So yes, yes, yes, I tried, yeah,yeah, that's amazing.
You know, that that mindset ofevolving and learning as you go,
uh, I think that's key,especially in today's economy,
too.
Like, you know, you may have alot of degrees and everything,
which is great, awesome, youknow, good, good for you, but
you know, applying thatknowledge and you know, keep
(19:13):
evolving because everything ischanging every single day with
technology, AI, this and that.
That's what you need to bedoing.
SPEAKER_01 (19:20):
Yes, and that's exactly you have to always be at
the top of your game.
Like, I hear all these thingsall the time that people are
worried about, like, you know,AI replacing us, and all like it
you can never replace a personand and that like sure you can
you know replace certain tasksand things like that, but it's
it's just it's not the same assomebody who genuinely cares if
you who's going to look out foryou and stay up to date with
(19:42):
with everything and understandhow to apply it to your specific
situation, right?
So many days on every single dayI would say I'm having
conversations with people andI'm hearing certain things that
the average person would say isnot relevant to what I'm doing,
but because I would know, like,okay, they're they're they're
planning for a baby or they'regoing for through fertility or
they're doing this or they'redoing that.
I'm like, these are the thingsthat I'm gonna take and apply
(20:03):
into what I'm going to structurefor them.
Exactly.
AI is not gonna be able to dothat, right?
So again, it compliments, sure.
Compliments it, yeah.
You know, this is where again,you know, really being in a
people-first business, the thebrokerage that I that I am with,
and we say like we're in thepeople business, we just happen
to do mortgages, right?
SPEAKER_00 (20:21):
Yeah, I think um just because we are on the topic
of AI here, like you know, wejust went out of uh out of
subject.
I know, but uh to become theperson that AI can't replace.
That's exactly it, 100%.
100%, that's exactly it.
Yeah, so tell me Nicole, um, soyou went into employment, you
went into legal, and you know,accidentally got into the
finance aspect of it.
(20:41):
How was your um uh mindset andwhat was your strategy moving
from uh employee to nowentrepreneurship?
SPEAKER_01 (20:51):
I was terrified, honestly.
I was terrified, like no matterhow strong you are, and no
matter how far I've come,there's always that little girl
there.
There's always that little girlwho was back in the park who's
scared of losing everything andyou know don't want to go back
there.
So for me, I was very successfulin the legal field and it was
safe for me.
(21:11):
And I had a steady paycheckcoming in, and I even when I got
into my consulting role, like itwas I I like people knew me in
that industry.
I was a you know an expert, Iwas good.
Um, but I actually have to giveyou know kudos and you know a
shout out to to my ex, my myson's father, because in full
transparency, I think finallyhaving a support system and
(21:33):
somebody that I didn't realize,and even I have like the most
amazing friends that I am sograteful for that I've had
forever, yeah, that were likeyou you got this, Nicole, like
you got this, and like you needyou need to do this, like you
need to do something more.
So I think just finally havingthat support system and trusting
them, like listening to them andtrusting them, and I'm like,
okay, you know what the peoplethat love you are telling you
(21:54):
this, you know, they're they'renot gonna steer you in the right
direction.
So it was just taking that thatleap, but it took me a very long
time to do it because I was justso scared.
Like, it wasn't that I didn'thave confidence in myself and my
ability, it was that the whatifs were louder in my head.
SPEAKER_00 (22:08):
Always the what ifs are always louder, yes, yeah.
But you know, it does, you know,having your voice over that is
the part.
SPEAKER_01 (22:15):
Trying to be louder.
I like to think I'm fairly loud,but yeah, it didn't, it was it
was hard.
So, you know, I'm so gratefulthat they gave me that push to
do that because as soon as I assoon as I did, it it like I it
was, you know, it was I knew itwas it was the right calling for
me.
Um and then I just kind of youknow grew from there.
(22:36):
And you know, when I wentthrough the period, so I I you
know kind of fast forward, I wasin that consulting space for a
while, I was self-employed, um,and then I went through some
very challenging times a coupleyears ago where I went through a
personal separation with my ummy son's father, and I think as
a woman, not even as a woman,you know, male or female, but
you know when that's coming,like you you know when things
(22:58):
are you know kind of you knowfalling apart, and you you you
just know it's not a surprisefor the most part, like unless
something specific happened.
In my case, nothing specifichappened, so you knew so you
kind of have time to prepare forthat.
You're never fully prepared, youstill gotta deal with the
emotions, but I knew that washappening.
Um but in my case, I the way Iplanned to kind of heal through
that and and and do all of thatwas to continue to push myself
(23:22):
in my business, and I was at thetop of my my business in my
career with my business partnerat the time, and so very quickly
and very unexpectedly that tooka turn, and so I basically found
myself losing both of that andwalking away from all of that
within like a six-month period,and um my son was very young, I
(23:43):
was dealing with postpartum thatnobody knew about, and I I felt
like I was a disaster, like itjust felt like you're at that
rock bottom, basically, and andI think you know this.
I come from a boxing background,so I use a lot of that
terminology.
I was ready to throw in thetowel, yeah.
Um, but I think that's somethingas a mom as well, too.
You don't have that luxuryanymore, right?
(24:06):
Like you you you can't, youcan't, right?
Like you're just like well, suckit up, Nicole, because we gotta
figure this out.
SPEAKER_00 (24:12):
You just you're just single, single person all this
time, like girlfriend, wife, youknow, whichever role you're in,
all of a sudden, boom, nowyou're adding another role into
that part.
Yeah, now you're a mom.
Yeah, and it cut doesn't comewith the manual, you know, at
all.
Doesn't and you and you know,learn as learning as you go is a
very good skill to have, butthis is the hardest time that
(24:34):
you go through learning as yougo, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:36):
And and it's such a like a rush of emotion, and you
know, um my my son, I think I'veI've told you this, like it was
my miracle baby.
I you know, I went throughfertility to to to have him, and
I was like, he's my everything,and um adorable.
unknown (24:53):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (24:54):
I like to think so.
Um, but you know, having him itwas the the happiest time of my
life, and yet I think that wasthe biggest part of postpartum
as well, too, is that I couldn'ttell or understand why I I
wasn't happy.
I was at you know the peak of mycareer, I was doing great, and
you know, you're just soconfused.
(25:14):
And I think as a strong womanand as of you know, you've gone
through so many challengingthings, or you've been through
so many challenging things, I'mlike, what's my problem?
Like, what's what's the problem,right?
And so in my case, I just didn'teven stop to understand what was
happening with me.
It wasn't like I was trying toignore it.
Like I just it, I was like,okay, well, I don't I don't feel
(25:34):
well today, or I'm not, youknow, I have no energy today, I
can't get out of bed today.
Well, too bad, you you gotta go,right?
So, and I think that's the thingtoo, when you have people
depending on you, yeah, itthat's that's a natural, you
know, force.
You just I was not gonna let mymy my family down, my team down,
my partner down.
So, you know, you just you justgo, but it was it was so
difficult for me to understandwhy it was the happiest thing
(25:55):
that ever happened to me was youknow, my my son being able to
provide and have this career,but still, you know, not feeling
like I was happy or not feelinglike I was doing enough for
everybody, right?
So I've learned over the yearswe have to give ourselves grace.
Like we can't, as as women, asbusiness, you know, mom
entrepreneurs, all these things,you it's okay to not have it all
(26:15):
together all the time.
SPEAKER_03 (26:17):
No, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (26:18):
And and to not like there's so many days where it's
like, and I'm sure you're theexact same way, where it's like
you feel like you're at the topof your game in your business,
you're like, I got this, I'mgood, and then you feel like
you're failing as a mom, or orvice versa, right?
It was so hard.
People, it drives me crazy.
I hear talking about balance allthe time.
Yeah, there's no there's nobalance.
Like you do your best, you doyour best.
And some days, you know, you're10 out of 10, and some days
maybe you're a two and you hangout with five for you know half
(26:41):
the time, and that's okay,right?
SPEAKER_00 (26:43):
You do no, I hear you.
Like when you're telling methis, I'm actually going like
it's it's replaying in my head,is what I went through during
postpartum as well.
I think you know, the the strthe struggle or the or or where
we need to focus is when we arestrong women, Nicole.
Everybody that's surrounded byus, they all think, oh, she got
this.
Yes, you know, if she camethrough so much.
(27:04):
What is this?
Yes, you know, she got this, shedoesn't need my support, and the
and the and what add full to thefire is as strong women, we
never ask.
You nailed it, that's exactlyit.
We never ask, right?
We we are so not used to askingfor help, we always believe,
okay, I got this, and nowthey're thinking she got this, I
(27:25):
think I got this in the end.
Like you struggle in silence,and you know, until you hit that
maximum peak and you break down,yeah, they're like, I never knew
you're going through it.
SPEAKER_01 (27:40):
Yes, a hundred percent.
It's it's so true, and that'swhere I'm like, we have to take
responsibility for that becauselike I know even my my in my own
personal circumstances, like I Iwas fortunate enough to have
people say, like, are you good?
Are you and but they you know,people are gonna get tired of
asking you if you're good if youkeep saying you're fine all the
time, and you know, and then werealize we're we're not, and
(28:00):
then for me it was like again, Iwould kept kept equating it to
you've been through so much andyou are fine through that.
SPEAKER_00 (28:07):
How are you not fine now?
Yeah, this is what you wantedall your life, now you have it.
What's wrong now?
Exactly.
This is the question you willkeep asking yourself, but you
don't you will not ask it outloud in the fear of okay, no, I
got this, yeah, right?
But I think that's where, like,not only as strong women, we
need we should have awareness,Nico, and anybody who's going
(28:28):
through that, also the familyand the friends around them
should have awareness.
Like, yes, they just had a baby,give them the space, you know,
whatever, but be available, justlet them know.
Hey, if you need to talk, I'mhere, I'm all ears.
If you need a coffee, let meknow, I can pick you up.
Like, you know, hey, if you wanta break while your baby, you
know, I can I can come in, I cantake care of the baby for one
(28:48):
day.
So these little things are veryimportant, especially when
you're going through postpartum.
SPEAKER_01 (28:54):
So it's so important.
And like I remember before I Ihad my son again because I kind
of had I had him later in lifewith everything that I was going
through, and um I alwayspictured and dreamed that I
would be the mom enjoying my matleaf to the fullest, like you
know, parks and I just and Ididn't have a mat leaf because I
was self-employed, yeah, yeah.
(29:15):
And so I was doing deals from myhospital bed, and I don't say
that because I'm proud of that,it's just that's what it was.
And so my um my son's father umworked for the government, so
was able to take you know,regular, you know, pat leave and
all those kinds of things, and Iremember like being I have this
one image in my head where Iremember like I was in between
(29:37):
meetings on the road, I waspumping with my my milk for my
son in the back of my car seatin between meetings, and my my
son's dad called to tell mesomething that my son did, and I
was just bawling.
Like I acted like I was okay,and then I hung up and I was
calling like bawling because Iwas so like I was just you're
exhausted, I was you know sad.
(29:57):
I'm like, I just want to enjoy aMatt leave, and I just want
SPEAKER_00 (30:00):
to be home and do all these things and it was like
it was it was crazy and Iremember one of the like
challenges and conversations Ihad with my ex at the time too
was like you know it's hardtaking care of being at home and
taking care of a child and allthese kinds of things and I'm
like well I would give anythingto trade that right because I I
you know you're jugglingeverything right so it's like
(30:22):
it's it's it's tough and youjust go through all the emotions
and then having the postpartumemotional roller coaster as it
is just enhances everythingright so we're like oh I feel
like a crazy person but we'renot crazy yeah no not only you
Nicole like a lot of us who wentthrough a postpartum we all feel
that at one point or another wejust don't talk about it it's
(30:42):
like the it's like the the mommyguilt that we try to hide.
It's real it's so real that inthe in the mom brain the brain
falls that never comes backthat's you yes but you know like
to hear that you're very open toshare that because you know um I
don't I haven't met many womenwho will talk openly about their
personal experience I know wewant to talk about um rainbows
(31:05):
and unicorns and butterfliesyeah but we don't actually talk
about the the good bad and theugly and and um it's it takes a
lot of courage for Nicole foryou to come and share that with
me and thank you so much fordoing that so tell me like you
know you went through during allthat in business too we were
going through a very toughmarket that we have seen in the
(31:28):
industry like in the real estatemortgage industry like how were
you able to manage all that andalso thrive in the in the
business world I think it reallyjust came down to honing into
who I am my core values and whatI want so regardless of you know
(31:48):
the the worst markets there'sthere's always going to be
business people always likethat's where we're fortunate in
our like people people need ahouse to live people need a roof
over their head like there's sothat's where it's like we have
to figure out how we can youknow take some of that limited
market share and how can you andfor me it was really like I just
I'm just gonna be me like I itthat's it and and I am not gonna
(32:11):
be everybody's cup of tea um andthat's okay like I was okay with
that I just I with all of thatthat I went through I just was
really proud and you knowrespected who I was as a woman
as a business leader.
SPEAKER_01 (32:22):
I'm like listen I'm just gonna lead with
authenticity and you knowsincerity and and I if if I can
help people I will and I Istarted once I started to to
flip my that switch and get backinto that mindset that's where
like I was able to like doublethe the the business in a matter
of six months.
Because when I um left my my myprevious partnership I had to
(32:45):
start from scratch likeliterally in the worst market.
So it was one of those thingswhere I'm like how how am I
gonna do this?
And so at first I got caught upfor a little bit I think I um I
had lost my confidence for alittle while I think in full
transparency that's very hardfor me as a stronger woman to
admit but I think losing all ofthat and well we'll say walking
(33:05):
away from from all of thosethings you get through to a
point where you're like is it melike did I do something and you
kind of question yourself rightso I went through all of that
and then when you realize likeno it's it's not like you know
and you find that kind ofconfidence again I just was like
okay well I don't need to sayyes to everything.
I don't need to say yes to allof this business.
(33:26):
I just want to do business withthe people who I feel that I can
relate to who I feel I can youknow truly help.
So when I started as crazy as itsounds when I started to say no
to a lot of business and justwork with people who I wanted to
work with that's where mybusiness just flourished again
because it was like they wereyou know every happy client and
happy person that you speak tobecomes a natural advocate for
(33:47):
you and then ends up bringingbusiness.
So like I'm fortunate that I'm ahundred percent referral
business by either my realtorpartners or my clients and
within two years of rebuildingmy business within the first six
months of the second year I wasback to doing the same levels of
business as I was when I waspretty much at the top of my
game in a down market.
Yeah yeah that's so and that'sliterally just because I would
(34:12):
say no to people like this isnot gonna help you.
This is what and things likethat.
And it was so scary to do thatbecause I was worried I was
taking like and one you want tolead with sincerity sincerity
but at the same time like I haveto put food on the table.
I have to put a roof over myhead I have to work right so it
was one of those things where itwas like I was scared that if I
kept saying no to that businessI wouldn't be able to do that.
(34:35):
But I just had to trust in thefact that after everything I've
gone through I'm like I am who Iam and I'm gonna lead with the
kind of you know put thatintention out there.
SPEAKER_00 (34:43):
Exactly being authentic about yourself and
also the power of saying no andyou know you're absolutely right
by saying that uh when I startedmy business too I wanted to help
every single person I met butyou know after some time I
realized no Stella you can't dothat.
In some places you have to drawthe line and you have to say no
(35:04):
or we have to say okay let'sregroup after a timeline because
you know that is also a winningstrategy.
Because if you're gonna besaying yes all the time you are
absolutely wasting your time andalso the other person's time.
SPEAKER_01 (35:19):
Exactly and like you just have to I think be honest
with yourself because you and Iare so similar and again as
strong women our energy is islike contagious and that can be
good or bad right so I wouldcatch myself like if there was
somebody who again just wasn'taligning with me or anything
like that like you it's it's Ifelt like I couldn't be my best
(35:40):
because I was you know so it'slike you just need to say that's
okay maybe I'm not the rightperson for you right and um the
more you again lead in in thatenergy and you put that out
there whether you want to callit manifestation or whatever the
case is there's multiple termsbut that is what is going to to
come back to you.
So I I've I wholeheartedlybelieve that what you put out
there is what you'll receive.
SPEAKER_00 (36:00):
Exactly and you know just being authentic being
unique in your industry beingthat person who has you know the
best interest at heart that'sthat's more valuable than saying
yes to everything all the time.
SPEAKER_01 (36:12):
Yes exactly like I like people thought I was crazy
and some of my you know my myfriends and my team at the time
too like what do you what do youmean you said no to that deal?
Like are like what no it doesn'tit doesn't make sense I don't
feel good about it I'm gonna I'mgonna say no right like it's and
and and in my side of thingswhen we're looking at referral
you know partners and thingslike that like like yourself for
(36:32):
example as a realtor I have tounderstand that if I'm saying no
to you I'm not just saying no toone one deal for lack of a
better way of saying it.
I'm saying like that that's awhole future pipeline of
business.
That's a relationship right andit's very very likely that if I
say no stella I'm not gonna dothis you're probably not gonna
send me more business becauseyou're going to be upset right
so when I when I would say thatto people I was so scared that
(36:53):
I'm like oh my gosh I'm throwingaway future business and and it
was so much bigger for me butthen I had to remember like no
because you know what if theyare the right person if we are
the right team and the rightpartners together you're gonna
understand if I come to you andsay hey you know what Stella
this doesn't make sense for yourclient because if we're both on
the same page you're gonnaunderstand and you're gonna say
thanks Nicole I appreciate wedon't want to put them in in
(37:14):
that bad situation right so thatwas the kind of people I had to
find my tribe I had to find thethe people who were going to say
we want to work together to putthose clients together right so
it was just finding finding mytribe I say exactly exactly and
you know thriving there.
SPEAKER_00 (37:30):
So you know what you have shared uh Nicole is very
powerful and also it inspires soyou actually built your business
and you've been very successfulat it and and that is all from
transparency and beingauthentic.
SPEAKER_01 (37:44):
So give me an example of a time that you said
no to someone that didn't signin with your value like is this
is there something that standsout that you'd like to share
with us um I'd probably saybecause we were talking about a
very challenging market um earlyCOVID when there was business
for everyone because it was sobusy you know interest rates
(38:05):
were were were crazy it was soeasy for people to qualify.
As a mortgage broker I'm knownfor breaking pushing boundaries
and making magic happen in termsof my relationships with my
lenders and I usually canstretch clients affordability
like all these good and excitingthings um but I had so many
opportunities where I had youknow my my realtor partners or
(38:25):
people that were coming to mesaying okay hey we need to push
the max for these clients andI'm like I I'm not gonna do that
like can I do it?
Can I get it done?
Yes yeah but I'm not going toand that was because although we
had we could not predict how badthings were gonna get like we
wish we could but we couldn't weknew that things had to at least
get back to normal and stabilizeright pre pre-pandemic level so
(38:46):
if I knew that you know oncethings normalized and stabilized
those clients were not going tobe in a good position there was
multiple times that I had to sayno to people well I I just I
don't think this makes sense foryou.
Oh but I can go get it doneacross the street I can go get
it done yes you can you can Ijust am not gonna do it for you
and that was very very difficultbecause again it was like I have
(39:10):
to worry about like am I gonnaget a bad reputation because of
that because I'm saying no topeople like and people are gonna
tell and I was like no you haveto stay true to who you are and
I there's three that I'mthinking of right off the top of
my head one was a relationshipthat I just I lost and never
never came back um and I'm okaywith that I came to terms with
that I was like okay I wasn'tthe right person for you um but
(39:31):
two of those clients have sincenow come back to me and like so
grateful to me that I didn't putthem in that situation despite
them one of them actually wasnot so nice to me because they
were really upset about it butthey came back after like they
were so grateful that I said nobecause they would have been in
a very bad situation.
SPEAKER_00 (39:49):
Very bad that's that's what authenticity does
that transparency does.
100% so that's that's amazinglike you know um to see that how
you are handling thesesituations and thriving in the
business as you should be andNicole I have one I want to ask
so uh we have a lot of firsttime homebuyers entering the
market in today's uh today'seconomy that we are seeing right
now it's a bias market 100%right and you know any every
(40:11):
immigrant's dream is to havethat little piece that they can
call home so what do you wishevery first time homebuyer knew
before they start their journeyoh that's a good one um is to be
as proactive as you can to speakto somebody doesn't have to be
myself but to speak to somebodyto really understand what the
future goals are and to reallyhone in on on what is important
(40:34):
to you and take a proper look atlike your finances and
everything because people get socaught up in okay how much house
can I afford and all these kindsof things but they don't they're
not truly honest throughout theprocess and it's not ill
intended they just you knowthey're like okay hey this is
how much money we make we can wecan afford this I always say as
a mortgage broker I am bound bytelling you how much you can
qualify because we have tofactor in things like you know
(40:56):
your income and whatever'sreported on your credit bureau.
SPEAKER_01 (40:59):
We don't factor in or we're not required to factor
in things like daycare costs oryou have an elderly parent that
you're taking care of.
So it's so important for them tobe open with us about what their
life actually looks like so thatwe can tell them okay this is
what actually makes the mostsense for you because that is
how they're going to be able totruly thrive enjoy that little
(41:19):
peace that they can call homeand be able to actually grow
right because if they don't putthemselves beyond their means
with the natural appreciationall that kind of stuff we can
help them you know upsize in afew years and all those kinds of
things so it's just truly beinghonest about the actual process
so that we can better serve themand make sure that we're meeting
their goals.
That's that that's absolutelyright you nailed it on the head
(41:40):
so thank you yeah and um what isuh one of the biggest um in your
opinion what is one of thebiggest myths you're seeing
they're happening in the marketright now um in the real estate
mortgage industry the biggestmyths um hmm I wouldn't say it's
it's necessarily a myth but it'sit's my pet peeve for quite some
(42:02):
time and it's this rateobsession this like just just
the fact that like it'severybody's literally obsessed
with rates.
I am not I don't want to get awhole bunch of bad comments here
and people are like what is shetalking about?
I'm not saying rate are notimportant.
Of course they are but mybiggest the reason why it's my
pet peeve is because not allproducts are created equal nor
are the lenders and so I havehad countless conversations with
(42:25):
people about Nicole I just wantthe lowest rate and I'm like
great I I want you to have thelowest rate but but Stella
that's not going to make sensebased on what you've told me
this is what you need.
And like I can very easily showyou that a actual product or an
interest rate that is a fullpercent higher than what you're
being quoted by anotherinstitution is actually going to
(42:46):
outperform.
And so if I were to say to youStella why do you want the
lowest rate people look at melike I'm asking them a trick
question.
It's not a trick question.
I I genuinely want to hear whatthey're saying.
Most of the time the answer iswell because I want to pay as
limited amount of interest aspossible and I want to you know
keep my my payments as low aspossible like cash flow.
SPEAKER_03 (43:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (43:05):
So the fact that you can have products that can
actually minimize all of thatregardless of what the the
actual rate looks like is nightand day but people don't stop to
want to hear about the actualproduct because they get so
caught up with what's on paper.
Right?
Like oh okay this this this is afull percent lower how is that
even possible so it's I justwish that people would spend
(43:27):
more time understanding ortaking the time to understand
the product and the actualstructure of a mortgage as
opposed to just focusing on ratebecause it's it's night and day
for them.
SPEAKER_00 (43:36):
Yeah yeah like see beyond the rate.
SPEAKER_01 (43:39):
A hundred percent that that's exactly it's yeah
see beyond that's more to amortgage than just the rate
because you know focusing on anumber that can that changes all
the time is not going to resolveyour or gain your long-term goal
in in a home ownership andpaying off that mortgage because
that's what everybody wantsexactly and this is and this is
(43:59):
not a knock towards any bank oranything like that but that's
the difference between somebodylike myself or you know brokers
out there versus just kind ofwalking into a bank and saying
okay hey I want this they're notand it's not their fault but
most of the time they're not aseducated at in terms of some of
the other products out therebecause they only have access to
to the one for example right sothey're not able to you know
best advise a client literallybecause they just don't know
(44:22):
anything different right sothat's why it's so important for
clients to actually understandand see okay what options do you
have available to them?
SPEAKER_00 (44:29):
Yeah most definitely that's absolutely wonderful
sharing that with us um so thisactually concludes the
conversation but I want to getinto a lightning round okay so
let's get in there let's do itokay so five questions straight
and simple but to the pointanswers okay okay so the first
(44:50):
one one word that defines thechapter of your life right now
resilience oh I have two okayI'll go with I'll go with the
two okay resilience and it's nottechnically one but just
unapologetic like I I and I meanthat in in a good way like I
just I am who I am and and I'mproud of that so I'm gonna own
(45:14):
that so unapologetic.
Yeah and I think it's actuallyvery valuable to have that uh
that mentality because you knowthat's what makes you outshine
and also be very laser focusedat your at your goals.
So it's absolutely a good one tohave um the next one a a book a
podcast or a quote that changedyour mindset the Mel Robbins let
(45:38):
them is is a huge I love it.
SPEAKER_01 (45:40):
I just I I it's and and I know it's very popular
right now.
The other one I'll like sorryI'm giving you two this is not
I'm I'm failing um The Audacityto be queen is another is
another book that I absolutelylove.
SPEAKER_00 (45:53):
Yeah so you guys should definitely check them out
um this is this is somethingthat we go through every day so
in the morning when I wake up Itry to check do I need tea or
coffee today for you is it teaor coffee and how do you take
it?
SPEAKER_01 (46:05):
My staple is a s uh Tim Horton's tea steep tea steep
tea I am not a Starbucks sorry Iwas just I'm a I'm a Timmy's
girl.
Yeah me too I love my Timmiesright friends yeah how do you
take it what is your steep tealook like so I will probably
have three milk and one sugar Ilike it milky I like it like you
(46:26):
know that's a good comment lesssugar more milk yeah good for
you right yeah that's true yeahI love it I'll take it all day
actually no I can't because thenI won't sleep but yes I know
that you you appreciate yourmotherhood a lot so tell me what
is one thing that motherhoodtaught you just one um I know
that's many I know I'm like ohgosh honestly I I think I'm just
(46:48):
gonna keep it simple to howstrong I actually am and and I
say that because even though Iknew that growing up the way I
did there were so many timesover the last couple years where
I was like I said ready to throwin the towel and because I'm a
mom and because I am you knowsetting that ground for for Kai
(47:09):
and he looks up to me there wasjust like no you you don't have
any option but to continue topush forward and succeed and be
strong because you have to setthat example for him.
SPEAKER_00 (47:19):
So strength.
SPEAKER_01 (47:19):
Yeah the strength that's powerful thank you um if
you could tell your 14 year oldself one thing what would that
be gonna say this without beingemotional um that none of it
it's not your fault it's notyour fault like I for many years
(47:42):
um couldn't understand why Iwent through and why my
circumstances were the way theywere right so you can't help but
question like did I did I dosomething wrong?
Right?
Was it me?
Should I have done somethingdifferent to not have or not be
a product of that environment soI'm gonna say it's not your
fault.
SPEAKER_00 (47:58):
Yeah and I'm pretty sure you're gonna say I'm very
proud of who you have become oh100% yeah yeah and I am very
proud of who you have becomeNicole you know it's not easy to
take life as it throws at youbut you take it and mold it the
way that you want it to be thatis strength power and resilience
there.
So thank you very much Nicoletaking the time for having me
(48:21):
you're most welcome it's apleasure and an honor to have
you and we look forward tomeeting you again in one of our
next shows.
Definitely thanks thank you guyswow Nicole thank you for your
honesty and your heart youreminded us that the hardest
chapters of our lives can becomethe foundation for our greatest
success.
And to you our listeners iftoday's episode moved you
(48:42):
inspired you gave you thatlittle nudge to keep going I
want to hear all about it.
Drop a comment share this withsomeone who needs to hear it and
hit that subscribe buttonbecause on the Stella Talk show
this is what we do real stories,real strategies and real
success.
Remember you are one decisionaway from rewriting your story
(49:05):
and we are here to help you doit.
Until next time keep buildingkeep believing and keep showing
up for the life you deserveuntil next time stay Stellar
thank you for spending your timewith us on the Stellar Talk
show.
We hope you found value intoday's episode and gained
insights to help elevate yourlifestyle if you enjoyed the
(49:26):
discussion please like subscribeand share it with anyone who
could benefit.
It means the world to us.
Until our next episode stayinspired and I'll see you soon
on our next Stellar Talk show
When I heard your story, that actually gives me a
lot of inspiration.
SPEAKER_01 (00:28):
I was uh pretty much on my own.
Where I would sleep in parks.
Oh wow.
SPEAKER_00 (00:34):
Looking at you, I would never imagine that you
have that backstory foryourself.
I am who I am, and I'm proud ofthat.
And I am very proud of who youhave become, Nicole.
You never know how strong youare until being strong is your
only choice.
Today's guest, Nicole Ferrugia,is living proof of that.
She went from sleeping onrooftops at age 15 to spending
(00:58):
nearly two decades in law tobuilding a thriving mortgage
business, all while overcomingpersonal heartbreak, fertility
struggles, postpartumdepression, and having to
rebuild everything from scratchin one of the toughest markets
we've ever seen.
But here's the part that willmake you lean in that Nicole
(01:18):
doesn't just share thehighlights.
She's here to give you the realstory, the messy middle and the
mindset shift, and thestrategies that helped her go
from survival mode to a life ofpurpose, profit and power.
So whether you're a first-timehomebuyer, a new immigrant
building a fresh start in thiscountry, or someone who just
(01:39):
needs proof that you can comeback from anything, this episode
is your permission slip torights.
Stay with us because what Nicoleis about to share might just be
the spark that ignites your nextchapter.
Hi Nicole, welcome back to theshow.
Thank you for helping me again.
Oh, most definitely.
Nicole, when I heard your story,that actually gives me a lot of
(02:02):
inspiration.
So take us back to like, youknow, to the young Nicole.
Tell us all about it.
SPEAKER_01 (02:08):
Okay, well, we're going back to when I was 15
years old.
I was uh pretty much on my own.
And I had some very challengingtimes, but I I attribute it all
to who I am today.
So definitely no regrets there.
But um, but yes, I was on myown.
It was shortly after my 15thbirthday.
Um, and I had very many eveningsand many nights where I would
(02:32):
sleep in parks.
Um, when it was really cold, Iwould sleep, I would sneak into
there was a high-rise apartmentbuilding and I would sneak into
there and I would climb all theway up.
I would get my exercise, climball the way up to the top floor,
and like right before where youget to the roof, basically,
there's like a mechanical kindof room and area.
(02:53):
Yeah.
And uh and I would sleep there.
And um, if you were to ask anyof my kind of friends from from
from back in the day, nobodyreally knew what was happening.
I didn't, it wasn't um, itwasn't an embarrassment thing.
I think I just didn't wantanyone to know or to feel sorry
for me or anything like that.
So I uh yeah, I just kind ofkept it very, very quiet.
(03:15):
So there'd be a day where I'd belike visiting in my friends,
having my you know, over myfriends for dinner.
And then if it was one of thoseevenings where you know I didn't
couldn't go home and or anythinglike that, then I would go to my
one of two places depending onwhere I was.
SPEAKER_00 (03:27):
Oh wow.
Looking at you, I would neverimagine that you have that
backstory for yourself.
And this is why I tell everybodylike you know, no matter who you
meet, everybody carries thestory for you.
You never know.
SPEAKER_01 (03:39):
And I always say like be nice to people, you be
kind, but you don't know whatthey're going through, right?
Like, even sometimes I try tolike just remind myself like
you, you know, you meet somebodyand they're super grumpy or
they're snapping at you becauseyou know, you I don't know,
driving, something like that.
And like honestly, you just younever know what they're what
they're going through.
Going to you, you just you neverknow.
And I like I didn't talk aboutthis until like last year, I
(04:03):
think was the first time.
Um I just you know, and it'swhat my close friends, of
course, knew over the years, butI mean like I didn't really
speak about this until just veryrecently, and I'm in my 40s,
that's a long time.
SPEAKER_00 (04:14):
Yeah, and that takes a lot of confidence and strength
to talk about a past that is notas pretty as you would wish it
was, right?
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Oh my god, thank you so much fortaking the time to come here,
you know, and you know, sayingyes to sharing your story with
us because that is huge, Nico.
Kudos to you.
SPEAKER_01 (04:31):
I appreciate that.
Thank you.
Thank you for giving me theplatform to to have a voice.
And the goal is to just be ableto share that experience and you
know, just just hopefully helpsomebody, right?
Because if you can if you can,you know, instill in somebody
that we are not just a directresult of you know our our
circumstances, that we canchange that path, redirect
(04:54):
ourselves.
Um, I think that's that'ssomething that we need to we
need to share.
And you know, I I think for solong I was maybe worried or
concerned that people would umyou know maybe see me as as or
feel sorry or see me as weak orthings like that.
I just didn't know you know whathow that story would be
interpreted.
And uh when I finally did startto share it, I could see that
(05:16):
people were like, oh my gosh,like and then you you inspire
others to share their storiesand you talk and then you you
just connect that much more withpeople because it's so real,
right?
SPEAKER_00 (05:25):
That's true, that's true.
Oh my god, I can't imaginesleeping on a rooftop at the age
of 15, especially in Canada.
The weather is like everywhere.
SPEAKER_01 (05:34):
Well, that was the whole reason.
So the the the the park that Ium spent many nights in, um, it
was uh literally a house.
Like, you know, when you go tothe the playgrounds and you know
the kids play in the in the inthe park, that's that's what it
was.
So um as silly as it sounds, Iam so passionate about putting
(05:55):
people in homes now because itlike I I remember what that that
home you know it was was to me,the meaning of it, the
symbolism.
Um so I remember when I boughtmy very first property, um, it
was in my my 30s, and it was asmall little condo, 500 square
feet.
I balled, like I sat on thefloor the day that I got the
(06:18):
keys.
I had no furniture yet, likenothing.
And a friend of mine was with meat the time, and I just was
like, because it was so I I wasso proud, I was so excited.
I was like, I did this, right?
So I that's how I I guess I'mvery much um invested and
emotionally invested in all ofmy clients.
I love all of them equally, butmy first-time home buyers
especially because I have thatpassion.
SPEAKER_00 (06:38):
Because you connect with them really well, it comes
from a personal space, right?
Yes, 100%.
Most definitely.
So tell me your your mindset atthat age, Nicolette, 15 years
old, a girl in Toronto in inOntario.
Um, you know, how how was that?
Like, you know, how what was themindset at that time?
And what was the pivoting momentthere?
SPEAKER_01 (07:00):
There was definitely fear, and you know, I was I was
scared for sure.
But I I can say that now, but Idon't know if I actually knew
that at the time.
And I say that because it likethat was my life.
That's what I that's just what Iknew.
Survival mode.
Yes, it kicks in.
And it kicks in, it'sinstinctual, and you know, like
(07:22):
it I I I'm a mother, as youknow, and like if I think back
now and I'm like, you know, myson on his own sleeping in like
I I would I would die.
Like I, you know, and I so but II didn't know any of that.
You just you just exact exactlylike you said, it's that
survival, right?
You just go, and I just rememberthat as as scared as I was and
as you know sad as I was, andall of the feelings, you know,
(07:46):
you feel all the feelings.
I just was like this, I kepttelling myself always this is
temporary, like it's not alwaysgoing to be like this.
Like it it will get better.
Yeah, I had no idea how, I justknew that I wasn't going to it
wasn't gonna be like thisforever.
SPEAKER_00 (08:02):
Forever.
Yeah, yeah.
That is like no, it's very hardto have that mindset when you're
in the deep bottom of things,right?
And um, I think that is themindset that you do need at that
time to break through that.
SPEAKER_01 (08:16):
And I don't know where it came from, if I'm being
completely honest.
This is where I just feel likeit it is innate, like we're
we're built like this, you know,in in some sort of you know,
innate uh or genetics orhowever, like we're built
certain ways.
Of course, you have to topractice that, you have to, you
know, otherwise you can go adifferent route.
But like I was just I've alwaysbeen like that.
(08:37):
So given how I grew up, I was,you know, it was a a very um
poor neighborhood as well, too.
So there was a lot of crime, itwas a lot of all of those
things, and I just remember youknow seeing that, and I'm just
like I I don't want any of thatfor myself, right?
It was just I was like, no, so Iwas a straight-A student going
(08:57):
through you know school,working, living, like you know,
trying to pay rent.
I it was very difficult for meto try to even find places to to
rent when I, you know,eventually um needed to.
The first little while um I wasliving with my um with my mom.
I I bounced around quite a bit,but I was living with my mom for
a while.
My mom has a lot of mentalhealth issues as well, too, so
(09:17):
that's part of where all of uskind of came from.
Yeah.
And um so for the first while itwas it was sporadic.
So it was like I wasn'tsleeping, you know, for for the
full, you know, year orwhatever.
It would be like days here, daysthat.
And then when I eventually hadto, you know, find my own place,
it was so difficult because Ihad to, who was gonna rent to a
kid?
Yeah.
Like nobody is, you know, so umit was it was difficult.
(09:41):
Um, but you meet amazing peoplealong the way, and you just like
I just was like, okay, hey, I'vegotta, you know, I've got to
work, I've gotta hustle, I'vegotta grind, and I'm actually
very grateful for those thingsbecause that has transitioned or
translated into, you know,again, who I am today.
Um because I was I always feltlike I had to work that much
harder to kind of prove myselfbecause I didn't have even when
(10:02):
I got older in in in my legaldays, I didn't have all of the
degrees that everybody else hadthat I was competing against,
you know, just because mycircumstances didn't allow for
that.
But I was like, no, that's okay,like I can, you know, outperform
people and learn as I go.
SPEAKER_00 (10:15):
Yes, exactly.
I learn as I go, yeah.
And you know, I really like thefact that you mentioned that um
it wasn't easy, but you need tobe strong to get yourself there.
Um, that actually very resonateswith me really well because you
know it wasn't like you know, Iknow there's a lot of people
like in a lot of audience rightnow listening to us, they might
be in that space in in theirlife, like it's not easy,
(10:37):
they're just starting right now,they are lost in the process.
But keep believing in yourselfand keep at it, don't give up,
make the right choices.
I know when you come to thatspace, you actually get exposed
to a lot of opportunities thatis that may not be the right
choice for you.
Yes, just being very mindfulabout what the values that you
(10:58):
want to uphold for yourself,which is exactly what you did,
Nicola.
Right?
Thank you, and that thatstrength, that struggle that you
took as a challenge to to buildthe life that you have built for
yourself right now.
SPEAKER_01 (11:12):
Thank you for thank you for for saying that.
And I I I do agreewholeheartedly, and it's I think
it's also I wanna I wannaemphasize that you you know we
have to find a happy medium, andI don't know how because it's
it's it's so difficult, but youdo have to find a happy medium
between you know pushingyourself and and and but not
also succumbing to those fears.
(11:33):
Because I know like for myself,if I look back, I'm very proud
of what I've accomplished and Iand I and I truly am grateful
and proud of that.
But I also know that if I didn'tlet myself be fueled by a lot of
that fear and even like thatscarcity mindset, I probably
would have been further along orat least accomplished the same
things I have now, but muchearlier.
(11:54):
Because even when I got into myadult um, you know, life and my
career, um, wanting to beself-employed and all those
kinds of things, I I just wasvery scared for so long that I I
just didn't take a lot of thosejumps because I was like all of
the what ifs, right?
Like it was just it was veryscary.
So once I got to a place where Iwas like stable, I'm like, okay,
this is safer.
(12:14):
This is this is safer, right?
So um, you know, you you need toto allow that that fear to fuel
you and push you, but also nothold you back from some of the
bigger things that we know we'recapable of and we have to
believe we're capable of.
SPEAKER_00 (12:27):
Yeah, that's beautiful.
That's the beauty of strengththat women hold.
That's that's absolutely and wedon't know we have it.
We don't know we have it.
We don't maybe we do to anextent, but we don't know.
Yeah, we don't recognize it on adaily basis, but once you sit
down, breathe, and look back,I'm like, that is oh my god,
right?
Yeah, it's it's true.
SPEAKER_01 (12:45):
Like you, and you when you do the reflection,
you're like, like even myselfnow, I speak about these things,
but sometimes even if I pullmyself out of my body and I
listen to the story, and I againI apply it to Kai, like my son,
or something, and I'm like, oh,okay, like you did you did good,
you know, you pat yourself onyour back because you're like
wow, yeah, it it it's it's yeah,very it's you need the strength.
SPEAKER_00 (13:06):
You need the strength, yeah.
Most definitely, and you know,at times like that, when you are
in that moment, um hearing likeno, it's not only you, other
people went through similarjourneys like you did, and they
made it, and how they made it,what was the mindset, what was
the strategy, what was the goal,those are game changes, and
that's exactly why this platformactually brings much value to
(13:29):
the audience because that'sexactly what we share.
SPEAKER_01 (13:32):
It's inspiration and people can see.
Like, I'm a firm believer, and Ikind of said it earlier, like we
can redirect ourselves, like weare not just the automatic
result of our circumstances,right?
Like, if I look back to majorityof my friends and the people who
I had in my life at that timewhen I was so young, sadly,
majority of them did not take asimilar route as as I did,
(13:55):
right?
And and it's because they'rejust like this is this is my
life, this is this is the norm,right?
And and there is absolutely nojudgment.
I I mean that in no way, I justmean like you have to truly
believe that no, I can changethis, even when you don't know
how, because that's the that'sthe biggest thing.
Yeah, I had no idea.
I just knew I wasn't gonna, itwas temporary, right?
SPEAKER_00 (14:13):
Yeah, but you just you believed in it and you kept
that.
That's the part.
Exactly.
No kudos to you, Nicole.
Hearing this, I know I had a lotof respect for you since I got
to know you, but it actuallygrew like in tremendous amounts,
you know, after hearing yourstory and what you have achieved
throughout that journey.
Thank you.
Yeah, thank you for sharingthat.
Uh, let's talk about uh your umcareer part.
(14:33):
So from that to getting to youmentioned that you were in legal
before getting into uh financesand mortgages.
Tell us a little bit about that.
How did that uh shift happenfrom where you are?
How did how were you able to getyourself from there to somewhere
that you can call call that youare now employed?
Yeah, and how did that shifthappen?
SPEAKER_01 (14:53):
For sure.
So the the legal um wassomething I was always
passionate about.
So so that was that was mything.
Like I I love to educate, toteach people, um, you know, just
that whole justice, like I lovedall that.
So when I was in high school, umI I took you know all the um
elective courses, I did a lot ofthe law courses.
Um and then when you I thinkyou're 15 when I did my first
(15:15):
co-op course, like the theplacement, so I did that, and um
I I don't know, beg or harass isthe right word, but I made sure
that I got a job after becausewhen I when the co-op placement
was done, it was like sixmonths, and I literally asked if
I could if I could be hired.
And the lawyer at the time waslike, You're you're too young,
like you know, I I I you know Ican't have you know, it was a
(15:36):
co-op placement, and that wasit.
SPEAKER_00 (15:37):
How old were you, if you don't mind?
SPEAKER_01 (15:39):
I think I was either 15 or 16 at the time.
I want to say maybe I think itwas 16.
Yeah, because how grade, Iguess, maybe grade 10?
I can't remember, but I waspretty sure I was I was 16, was
the first time I got exposed toit.
And then within that period oftime, I took the bus every day
to this was after the co-op.
I took the bus every single dayto go like until she hired me,
basically.
(16:00):
It's like I need to, I have thispassion, I don't care if I have
to answer phones, like I just Iwant to do this.
So um I did that uh and I I justI loved it, you know, right
right away.
I had exposure to criminal law,immigration, family law, all
that kind of stuff, some realestate.
Um, but then um a couple yearslater, again, I was just always
in in that field, still going toschool.
(16:22):
Um, then I had the opportunityto uh work for some very big
firms in in um downtown Charles,like in the path in the
financial district.
Okay.
So that's where I spent themajority of my career.
And that was just really likehead down grinding, you know,
kind of you know, provingmyself.
Um, and because I started soyoung, I advanced fairly
quickly.
I spent about 18 years in total,but um it was one of those
(16:44):
things where I just kind ofcapped out, right?
Like I had I was, you know,managing teams, doing all these
kinds of things.
I had basically kind of you knowbuilt um a firm as well too with
some partners.
And so it was one of thosethings where I was like, but
what now?
So if I'm being honest, when itcomes to where I am now,
finance, I I don't even likenumbers.
Like I did not expect to ever behere, but it was a calling for
(17:10):
me, and I say that because itjust naturally happened.
So fast forward to I eventuallygot the strength to um kind of
quit the firms, and I wasconsulting in the legal space.
I had a lot of business andoperations, business management
experience just from all of thatexperience over the years.
So I ended up um helping afriend of mine who was a
mortgage broker who was tryingto be basically become a builder
(17:32):
and do um a bunch of you knowwork in that scene, so I had
exposure there, and then um wordkind of just got round.
Um I had a previous businesspartner and I started working
with her and was you knowhelping scale the business.
And as I was kind of overseeingthings from an operations
perspective, I would justnaturally start to get referrals
because people that werespeaking to me would be like,
oh, you know, sending mebusiness, and I'm like, this
(17:53):
this wasn't the intention, likethat wasn't what I was planning
on doing, but I I realized thatI was actually helping people,
like by just being genuine andbeing honest, like people wanted
to deal with me, yeah, and I'm afirm believer that you can teach
anyone the textbook um basics ofany industry.
It's it's like in our industry,for example, anybody can learn
(18:15):
to be, you know, but it's it'sdealing with people, it's it's
the people skills, it's thestuff that you can't teach,
right?
That is so important.
And so uh I just kept you knowkind of naturally, like I said,
getting referrals and stuff.
And I was like, okay, well maybemaybe I've got something here.
Yeah.
And it just kind of organicallyhappened, and and and here I am.
And even um, I went through aperiod of time where uh I know
(18:38):
we'll probably talk about this,but I I I lost everything.
I kind of had to decide how Iwas going to rebuild my life,
and I thought about possiblygoing back into legal.
I did question, you know, do Iwant to be here, what do I want
to do?
And I was like, no, this is thisis my this is my thing.
SPEAKER_00 (18:51):
Yeah, and I knew absolutely best at it.
So yes, yes, yes, I tried, yeah,yeah, that's amazing.
You know, that that mindset ofevolving and learning as you go,
uh, I think that's key,especially in today's economy,
too.
Like, you know, you may have alot of degrees and everything,
which is great, awesome, youknow, good, good for you, but
you know, applying thatknowledge and you know, keep
(19:13):
evolving because everything ischanging every single day with
technology, AI, this and that.
That's what you need to bedoing.
SPEAKER_01 (19:20):
Yes, and that's exactly you have to always be at
the top of your game.
Like, I hear all these thingsall the time that people are
worried about, like, you know,AI replacing us, and all like it
you can never replace a personand and that like sure you can
you know replace certain tasksand things like that, but it's
it's just it's not the same assomebody who genuinely cares if
you who's going to look out foryou and stay up to date with
(19:42):
with everything and understandhow to apply it to your specific
situation, right?
So many days on every single dayI would say I'm having
conversations with people andI'm hearing certain things that
the average person would say isnot relevant to what I'm doing,
but because I would know, like,okay, they're they're they're
planning for a baby or they'regoing for through fertility or
they're doing this or they'redoing that.
I'm like, these are the thingsthat I'm gonna take and apply
(20:03):
into what I'm going to structurefor them.
Exactly.
AI is not gonna be able to dothat, right?
So again, it compliments, sure.
Compliments it, yeah.
You know, this is where again,you know, really being in a
people-first business, the thebrokerage that I that I am with,
and we say like we're in thepeople business, we just happen
to do mortgages, right?
SPEAKER_00 (20:21):
Yeah, I think um just because we are on the topic
of AI here, like you know, wejust went out of uh out of
subject.
I know, but uh to become theperson that AI can't replace.
That's exactly it, 100%.
100%, that's exactly it.
Yeah, so tell me Nicole, um, soyou went into employment, you
went into legal, and you know,accidentally got into the
finance aspect of it.
(20:41):
How was your um uh mindset andwhat was your strategy moving
from uh employee to nowentrepreneurship?
SPEAKER_01 (20:51):
I was terrified, honestly.
I was terrified, like no matterhow strong you are, and no
matter how far I've come,there's always that little girl
there.
There's always that little girlwho was back in the park who's
scared of losing everything andyou know don't want to go back
there.
So for me, I was very successfulin the legal field and it was
safe for me.
(21:11):
And I had a steady paycheckcoming in, and I even when I got
into my consulting role, like itwas I I like people knew me in
that industry.
I was a you know an expert, Iwas good.
Um, but I actually have to giveyou know kudos and you know a
shout out to to my ex, my myson's father, because in full
transparency, I think finallyhaving a support system and
(21:33):
somebody that I didn't realize,and even I have like the most
amazing friends that I am sograteful for that I've had
forever, yeah, that were likeyou you got this, Nicole, like
you got this, and like you needyou need to do this, like you
need to do something more.
So I think just finally havingthat support system and trusting
them, like listening to them andtrusting them, and I'm like,
okay, you know what the peoplethat love you are telling you
(21:54):
this, you know, they're they'renot gonna steer you in the right
direction.
So it was just taking that thatleap, but it took me a very long
time to do it because I was justso scared.
Like, it wasn't that I didn'thave confidence in myself and my
ability, it was that the whatifs were louder in my head.
SPEAKER_00 (22:08):
Always the what ifs are always louder, yes, yeah.
But you know, it does, you know,having your voice over that is
the part.
SPEAKER_01 (22:15):
Trying to be louder.
I like to think I'm fairly loud,but yeah, it didn't, it was it
was hard.
So, you know, I'm so gratefulthat they gave me that push to
do that because as soon as I assoon as I did, it it like I it
was, you know, it was I knew itwas it was the right calling for
me.
Um and then I just kind of youknow grew from there.
(22:36):
And you know, when I wentthrough the period, so I I you
know kind of fast forward, I wasin that consulting space for a
while, I was self-employed, um,and then I went through some
very challenging times a coupleyears ago where I went through a
personal separation with my ummy son's father, and I think as
a woman, not even as a woman,you know, male or female, but
you know when that's coming,like you you know when things
(22:58):
are you know kind of you knowfalling apart, and you you you
just know it's not a surprisefor the most part, like unless
something specific happened.
In my case, nothing specifichappened, so you knew so you
kind of have time to prepare forthat.
You're never fully prepared, youstill gotta deal with the
emotions, but I knew that washappening.
Um but in my case, I the way Iplanned to kind of heal through
that and and and do all of thatwas to continue to push myself
(23:22):
in my business, and I was at thetop of my my business in my
career with my business partnerat the time, and so very quickly
and very unexpectedly that tooka turn, and so I basically found
myself losing both of that andwalking away from all of that
within like a six-month period,and um my son was very young, I
(23:43):
was dealing with postpartum thatnobody knew about, and I I felt
like I was a disaster, like itjust felt like you're at that
rock bottom, basically, and andI think you know this.
I come from a boxing background,so I use a lot of that
terminology.
I was ready to throw in thetowel, yeah.
Um, but I think that's somethingas a mom as well, too.
You don't have that luxuryanymore, right?
(24:06):
Like you you you can't, youcan't, right?
Like you're just like well, suckit up, Nicole, because we gotta
figure this out.
SPEAKER_00 (24:12):
You just you're just single, single person all this
time, like girlfriend, wife, youknow, whichever role you're in,
all of a sudden, boom, nowyou're adding another role into
that part.
Yeah, now you're a mom.
Yeah, and it cut doesn't comewith the manual, you know, at
all.
Doesn't and you and you know,learn as learning as you go is a
very good skill to have, butthis is the hardest time that
(24:34):
you go through learning as yougo, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:36):
And and it's such a like a rush of emotion, and you
know, um my my son, I think I'veI've told you this, like it was
my miracle baby.
I you know, I went throughfertility to to to have him, and
I was like, he's my everything,and um adorable.
unknown (24:53):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (24:54):
I like to think so.
Um, but you know, having him itwas the the happiest time of my
life, and yet I think that wasthe biggest part of postpartum
as well, too, is that I couldn'ttell or understand why I I
wasn't happy.
I was at you know the peak of mycareer, I was doing great, and
you know, you're just soconfused.
(25:14):
And I think as a strong womanand as of you know, you've gone
through so many challengingthings, or you've been through
so many challenging things, I'mlike, what's my problem?
Like, what's what's the problem,right?
And so in my case, I just didn'teven stop to understand what was
happening with me.
It wasn't like I was trying toignore it.
Like I just it, I was like,okay, well, I don't I don't feel
(25:34):
well today, or I'm not, youknow, I have no energy today, I
can't get out of bed today.
Well, too bad, you you gotta go,right?
So, and I think that's the thingtoo, when you have people
depending on you, yeah, itthat's that's a natural, you
know, force.
You just I was not gonna let mymy my family down, my team down,
my partner down.
So, you know, you just you justgo, but it was it was so
difficult for me to understandwhy it was the happiest thing
(25:55):
that ever happened to me was youknow, my my son being able to
provide and have this career,but still, you know, not feeling
like I was happy or not feelinglike I was doing enough for
everybody, right?
So I've learned over the yearswe have to give ourselves grace.
Like we can't, as as women, asbusiness, you know, mom
entrepreneurs, all these things,you it's okay to not have it all
(26:15):
together all the time.
SPEAKER_03 (26:17):
No, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (26:18):
And and to not like there's so many days where it's
like, and I'm sure you're theexact same way, where it's like
you feel like you're at the topof your game in your business,
you're like, I got this, I'mgood, and then you feel like
you're failing as a mom, or orvice versa, right?
It was so hard.
People, it drives me crazy.
I hear talking about balance allthe time.
Yeah, there's no there's nobalance.
Like you do your best, you doyour best.
And some days, you know, you're10 out of 10, and some days
maybe you're a two and you hangout with five for you know half
(26:41):
the time, and that's okay,right?
SPEAKER_00 (26:43):
You do no, I hear you.
Like when you're telling methis, I'm actually going like
it's it's replaying in my head,is what I went through during
postpartum as well.
I think you know, the the strthe struggle or the or or where
we need to focus is when we arestrong women, Nicole.
Everybody that's surrounded byus, they all think, oh, she got
this.
Yes, you know, if she camethrough so much.
(27:04):
What is this?
Yes, you know, she got this, shedoesn't need my support, and the
and the and what add full to thefire is as strong women, we
never ask.
You nailed it, that's exactlyit.
We never ask, right?
We we are so not used to askingfor help, we always believe,
okay, I got this, and nowthey're thinking she got this, I
(27:25):
think I got this in the end.
Like you struggle in silence,and you know, until you hit that
maximum peak and you break down,yeah, they're like, I never knew
you're going through it.
SPEAKER_01 (27:40):
Yes, a hundred percent.
It's it's so true, and that'swhere I'm like, we have to take
responsibility for that becauselike I know even my my in my own
personal circumstances, like I Iwas fortunate enough to have
people say, like, are you good?
Are you and but they you know,people are gonna get tired of
asking you if you're good if youkeep saying you're fine all the
time, and you know, and then werealize we're we're not, and
(28:00):
then for me it was like again, Iwould kept kept equating it to
you've been through so much andyou are fine through that.
SPEAKER_00 (28:07):
How are you not fine now?
Yeah, this is what you wantedall your life, now you have it.
What's wrong now?
Exactly.
This is the question you willkeep asking yourself, but you
don't you will not ask it outloud in the fear of okay, no, I
got this, yeah, right?
But I think that's where, like,not only as strong women, we
need we should have awareness,Nico, and anybody who's going
(28:28):
through that, also the familyand the friends around them
should have awareness.
Like, yes, they just had a baby,give them the space, you know,
whatever, but be available, justlet them know.
Hey, if you need to talk, I'mhere, I'm all ears.
If you need a coffee, let meknow, I can pick you up.
Like, you know, hey, if you wanta break while your baby, you
know, I can I can come in, I cantake care of the baby for one
(28:48):
day.
So these little things are veryimportant, especially when
you're going through postpartum.
SPEAKER_01 (28:54):
So it's so important.
And like I remember before I Ihad my son again because I kind
of had I had him later in lifewith everything that I was going
through, and um I alwayspictured and dreamed that I
would be the mom enjoying my matleaf to the fullest, like you
know, parks and I just and Ididn't have a mat leaf because I
was self-employed, yeah, yeah.
(29:15):
And so I was doing deals from myhospital bed, and I don't say
that because I'm proud of that,it's just that's what it was.
And so my um my son's father umworked for the government, so
was able to take you know,regular, you know, pat leave and
all those kinds of things, and Iremember like being I have this
one image in my head where Iremember like I was in between
(29:37):
meetings on the road, I waspumping with my my milk for my
son in the back of my car seatin between meetings, and my my
son's dad called to tell mesomething that my son did, and I
was just bawling.
Like I acted like I was okay,and then I hung up and I was
calling like bawling because Iwas so like I was just you're
exhausted, I was you know sad.
(29:57):
I'm like, I just want to enjoy aMatt leave, and I just want
SPEAKER_00 (30:00):
to be home and do all these things and it was like
it was it was crazy and Iremember one of the like
challenges and conversations Ihad with my ex at the time too
was like you know it's hardtaking care of being at home and
taking care of a child and allthese kinds of things and I'm
like well I would give anythingto trade that right because I I
you know you're jugglingeverything right so it's like
(30:22):
it's it's it's tough and youjust go through all the emotions
and then having the postpartumemotional roller coaster as it
is just enhances everythingright so we're like oh I feel
like a crazy person but we'renot crazy yeah no not only you
Nicole like a lot of us who wentthrough a postpartum we all feel
that at one point or another wejust don't talk about it it's
(30:42):
like the it's like the the mommyguilt that we try to hide.
It's real it's so real that inthe in the mom brain the brain
falls that never comes backthat's you yes but you know like
to hear that you're very open toshare that because you know um I
don't I haven't met many womenwho will talk openly about their
personal experience I know wewant to talk about um rainbows
(31:05):
and unicorns and butterfliesyeah but we don't actually talk
about the the good bad and theugly and and um it's it takes a
lot of courage for Nicole foryou to come and share that with
me and thank you so much fordoing that so tell me like you
know you went through during allthat in business too we were
going through a very toughmarket that we have seen in the
(31:28):
industry like in the real estatemortgage industry like how were
you able to manage all that andalso thrive in the in the
business world I think it reallyjust came down to honing into
who I am my core values and whatI want so regardless of you know
(31:48):
the the worst markets there'sthere's always going to be
business people always likethat's where we're fortunate in
our like people people need ahouse to live people need a roof
over their head like there's sothat's where it's like we have
to figure out how we can youknow take some of that limited
market share and how can you andfor me it was really like I just
I'm just gonna be me like I itthat's it and and I am not gonna
(32:11):
be everybody's cup of tea um andthat's okay like I was okay with
that I just I with all of thatthat I went through I just was
really proud and you knowrespected who I was as a woman
as a business leader.
SPEAKER_01 (32:22):
I'm like listen I'm just gonna lead with
authenticity and you knowsincerity and and I if if I can
help people I will and I Istarted once I started to to
flip my that switch and get backinto that mindset that's where
like I was able to like doublethe the the business in a matter
of six months.
Because when I um left my my myprevious partnership I had to
(32:45):
start from scratch likeliterally in the worst market.
So it was one of those thingswhere I'm like how how am I
gonna do this?
And so at first I got caught upfor a little bit I think I um I
had lost my confidence for alittle while I think in full
transparency that's very hardfor me as a stronger woman to
admit but I think losing all ofthat and well we'll say walking
(33:05):
away from from all of thosethings you get through to a
point where you're like is it melike did I do something and you
kind of question yourself rightso I went through all of that
and then when you realize likeno it's it's not like you know
and you find that kind ofconfidence again I just was like
okay well I don't need to sayyes to everything.
I don't need to say yes to allof this business.
(33:26):
I just want to do business withthe people who I feel that I can
relate to who I feel I can youknow truly help.
So when I started as crazy as itsounds when I started to say no
to a lot of business and justwork with people who I wanted to
work with that's where mybusiness just flourished again
because it was like they wereyou know every happy client and
happy person that you speak tobecomes a natural advocate for
(33:47):
you and then ends up bringingbusiness.
So like I'm fortunate that I'm ahundred percent referral
business by either my realtorpartners or my clients and
within two years of rebuildingmy business within the first six
months of the second year I wasback to doing the same levels of
business as I was when I waspretty much at the top of my
game in a down market.
Yeah yeah that's so and that'sliterally just because I would
(34:12):
say no to people like this isnot gonna help you.
This is what and things likethat.
And it was so scary to do thatbecause I was worried I was
taking like and one you want tolead with sincerity sincerity
but at the same time like I haveto put food on the table.
I have to put a roof over myhead I have to work right so it
was one of those things where itwas like I was scared that if I
kept saying no to that businessI wouldn't be able to do that.
(34:35):
But I just had to trust in thefact that after everything I've
gone through I'm like I am who Iam and I'm gonna lead with the
kind of you know put thatintention out there.
SPEAKER_00 (34:43):
Exactly being authentic about yourself and
also the power of saying no andyou know you're absolutely right
by saying that uh when I startedmy business too I wanted to help
every single person I met butyou know after some time I
realized no Stella you can't dothat.
In some places you have to drawthe line and you have to say no
(35:04):
or we have to say okay let'sregroup after a timeline because
you know that is also a winningstrategy.
Because if you're gonna besaying yes all the time you are
absolutely wasting your time andalso the other person's time.
SPEAKER_01 (35:19):
Exactly and like you just have to I think be honest
with yourself because you and Iare so similar and again as
strong women our energy is islike contagious and that can be
good or bad right so I wouldcatch myself like if there was
somebody who again just wasn'taligning with me or anything
like that like you it's it's Ifelt like I couldn't be my best
(35:40):
because I was you know so it'slike you just need to say that's
okay maybe I'm not the rightperson for you right and um the
more you again lead in in thatenergy and you put that out
there whether you want to callit manifestation or whatever the
case is there's multiple termsbut that is what is going to to
come back to you.
So I I've I wholeheartedlybelieve that what you put out
there is what you'll receive.
SPEAKER_00 (36:00):
Exactly and you know just being authentic being
unique in your industry beingthat person who has you know the
best interest at heart that'sthat's more valuable than saying
yes to everything all the time.
SPEAKER_01 (36:12):
Yes exactly like I like people thought I was crazy
and some of my you know my myfriends and my team at the time
too like what do you what do youmean you said no to that deal?
Like are like what no it doesn'tit doesn't make sense I don't
feel good about it I'm gonna I'mgonna say no right like it's and
and and in my side of thingswhen we're looking at referral
you know partners and thingslike that like like yourself for
(36:32):
example as a realtor I have tounderstand that if I'm saying no
to you I'm not just saying no toone one deal for lack of a
better way of saying it.
I'm saying like that that's awhole future pipeline of
business.
That's a relationship right andit's very very likely that if I
say no stella I'm not gonna dothis you're probably not gonna
send me more business becauseyou're going to be upset right
so when I when I would say thatto people I was so scared that
(36:53):
I'm like oh my gosh I'm throwingaway future business and and it
was so much bigger for me butthen I had to remember like no
because you know what if theyare the right person if we are
the right team and the rightpartners together you're gonna
understand if I come to you andsay hey you know what Stella
this doesn't make sense for yourclient because if we're both on
the same page you're gonnaunderstand and you're gonna say
thanks Nicole I appreciate wedon't want to put them in in
(37:14):
that bad situation right so thatwas the kind of people I had to
find my tribe I had to find thethe people who were going to say
we want to work together to putthose clients together right so
it was just finding finding mytribe I say exactly exactly and
you know thriving there.
SPEAKER_00 (37:30):
So you know what you have shared uh Nicole is very
powerful and also it inspires soyou actually built your business
and you've been very successfulat it and and that is all from
transparency and beingauthentic.
SPEAKER_01 (37:44):
So give me an example of a time that you said
no to someone that didn't signin with your value like is this
is there something that standsout that you'd like to share
with us um I'd probably saybecause we were talking about a
very challenging market um earlyCOVID when there was business
for everyone because it was sobusy you know interest rates
(38:05):
were were were crazy it was soeasy for people to qualify.
As a mortgage broker I'm knownfor breaking pushing boundaries
and making magic happen in termsof my relationships with my
lenders and I usually canstretch clients affordability
like all these good and excitingthings um but I had so many
opportunities where I had youknow my my realtor partners or
(38:25):
people that were coming to mesaying okay hey we need to push
the max for these clients andI'm like I I'm not gonna do that
like can I do it?
Can I get it done?
Yes yeah but I'm not going toand that was because although we
had we could not predict how badthings were gonna get like we
wish we could but we couldn't weknew that things had to at least
get back to normal and stabilizeright pre pre-pandemic level so
(38:46):
if I knew that you know oncethings normalized and stabilized
those clients were not going tobe in a good position there was
multiple times that I had to sayno to people well I I just I
don't think this makes sense foryou.
Oh but I can go get it doneacross the street I can go get
it done yes you can you can Ijust am not gonna do it for you
and that was very very difficultbecause again it was like I have
(39:10):
to worry about like am I gonnaget a bad reputation because of
that because I'm saying no topeople like and people are gonna
tell and I was like no you haveto stay true to who you are and
I there's three that I'mthinking of right off the top of
my head one was a relationshipthat I just I lost and never
never came back um and I'm okaywith that I came to terms with
that I was like okay I wasn'tthe right person for you um but
(39:31):
two of those clients have sincenow come back to me and like so
grateful to me that I didn't putthem in that situation despite
them one of them actually wasnot so nice to me because they
were really upset about it butthey came back after like they
were so grateful that I said nobecause they would have been in
a very bad situation.
SPEAKER_00 (39:49):
Very bad that's that's what authenticity does
that transparency does.
100% so that's that's amazinglike you know um to see that how
you are handling thesesituations and thriving in the
business as you should be andNicole I have one I want to ask
so uh we have a lot of firsttime homebuyers entering the
market in today's uh today'seconomy that we are seeing right
now it's a bias market 100%right and you know any every
(40:11):
immigrant's dream is to havethat little piece that they can
call home so what do you wishevery first time homebuyer knew
before they start their journeyoh that's a good one um is to be
as proactive as you can to speakto somebody doesn't have to be
myself but to speak to somebodyto really understand what the
future goals are and to reallyhone in on on what is important
(40:34):
to you and take a proper look atlike your finances and
everything because people get socaught up in okay how much house
can I afford and all these kindsof things but they don't they're
not truly honest throughout theprocess and it's not ill
intended they just you knowthey're like okay hey this is
how much money we make we can wecan afford this I always say as
a mortgage broker I am bound bytelling you how much you can
qualify because we have tofactor in things like you know
(40:56):
your income and whatever'sreported on your credit bureau.
SPEAKER_01 (40:59):
We don't factor in or we're not required to factor
in things like daycare costs oryou have an elderly parent that
you're taking care of.
So it's so important for them tobe open with us about what their
life actually looks like so thatwe can tell them okay this is
what actually makes the mostsense for you because that is
how they're going to be able totruly thrive enjoy that little
(41:19):
peace that they can call homeand be able to actually grow
right because if they don't putthemselves beyond their means
with the natural appreciationall that kind of stuff we can
help them you know upsize in afew years and all those kinds of
things so it's just truly beinghonest about the actual process
so that we can better serve themand make sure that we're meeting
their goals.
That's that that's absolutelyright you nailed it on the head
(41:40):
so thank you yeah and um what isuh one of the biggest um in your
opinion what is one of thebiggest myths you're seeing
they're happening in the marketright now um in the real estate
mortgage industry the biggestmyths um hmm I wouldn't say it's
it's necessarily a myth but it'sit's my pet peeve for quite some
(42:02):
time and it's this rateobsession this like just just
the fact that like it'severybody's literally obsessed
with rates.
I am not I don't want to get awhole bunch of bad comments here
and people are like what is shetalking about?
I'm not saying rate are notimportant.
Of course they are but mybiggest the reason why it's my
pet peeve is because not allproducts are created equal nor
are the lenders and so I havehad countless conversations with
(42:25):
people about Nicole I just wantthe lowest rate and I'm like
great I I want you to have thelowest rate but but Stella
that's not going to make sensebased on what you've told me
this is what you need.
And like I can very easily showyou that a actual product or an
interest rate that is a fullpercent higher than what you're
being quoted by anotherinstitution is actually going to
(42:46):
outperform.
And so if I were to say to youStella why do you want the
lowest rate people look at melike I'm asking them a trick
question.
It's not a trick question.
I I genuinely want to hear whatthey're saying.
Most of the time the answer iswell because I want to pay as
limited amount of interest aspossible and I want to you know
keep my my payments as low aspossible like cash flow.
SPEAKER_03 (43:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (43:05):
So the fact that you can have products that can
actually minimize all of thatregardless of what the the
actual rate looks like is nightand day but people don't stop to
want to hear about the actualproduct because they get so
caught up with what's on paper.
Right?
Like oh okay this this this is afull percent lower how is that
even possible so it's I justwish that people would spend
(43:27):
more time understanding ortaking the time to understand
the product and the actualstructure of a mortgage as
opposed to just focusing on ratebecause it's it's night and day
for them.
SPEAKER_00 (43:36):
Yeah yeah like see beyond the rate.
SPEAKER_01 (43:39):
A hundred percent that that's exactly it's yeah
see beyond that's more to amortgage than just the rate
because you know focusing on anumber that can that changes all
the time is not going to resolveyour or gain your long-term goal
in in a home ownership andpaying off that mortgage because
that's what everybody wantsexactly and this is and this is
(43:59):
not a knock towards any bank oranything like that but that's
the difference between somebodylike myself or you know brokers
out there versus just kind ofwalking into a bank and saying
okay hey I want this they're notand it's not their fault but
most of the time they're not aseducated at in terms of some of
the other products out therebecause they only have access to
to the one for example right sothey're not able to you know
best advise a client literallybecause they just don't know
(44:22):
anything different right sothat's why it's so important for
clients to actually understandand see okay what options do you
have available to them?
SPEAKER_00 (44:29):
Yeah most definitely that's absolutely wonderful
sharing that with us um so thisactually concludes the
conversation but I want to getinto a lightning round okay so
let's get in there let's do itokay so five questions straight
and simple but to the pointanswers okay okay so the first
(44:50):
one one word that defines thechapter of your life right now
resilience oh I have two okayI'll go with I'll go with the
two okay resilience and it's nottechnically one but just
unapologetic like I I and I meanthat in in a good way like I
just I am who I am and and I'mproud of that so I'm gonna own
(45:14):
that so unapologetic.
Yeah and I think it's actuallyvery valuable to have that uh
that mentality because you knowthat's what makes you outshine
and also be very laser focusedat your at your goals.
So it's absolutely a good one tohave um the next one a a book a
podcast or a quote that changedyour mindset the Mel Robbins let
(45:38):
them is is a huge I love it.
SPEAKER_01 (45:40):
I just I I it's and and I know it's very popular
right now.
The other one I'll like sorryI'm giving you two this is not
I'm I'm failing um The Audacityto be queen is another is
another book that I absolutelylove.
SPEAKER_00 (45:53):
Yeah so you guys should definitely check them out
um this is this is somethingthat we go through every day so
in the morning when I wake up Itry to check do I need tea or
coffee today for you is it teaor coffee and how do you take
it?
SPEAKER_01 (46:05):
My staple is a s uh Tim Horton's tea steep tea steep
tea I am not a Starbucks sorry Iwas just I'm a I'm a Timmy's
girl.
Yeah me too I love my Timmiesright friends yeah how do you
take it what is your steep tealook like so I will probably
have three milk and one sugar Ilike it milky I like it like you
(46:26):
know that's a good comment lesssugar more milk yeah good for
you right yeah that's true yeahI love it I'll take it all day
actually no I can't because thenI won't sleep but yes I know
that you you appreciate yourmotherhood a lot so tell me what
is one thing that motherhoodtaught you just one um I know
that's many I know I'm like ohgosh honestly I I think I'm just
(46:48):
gonna keep it simple to howstrong I actually am and and I
say that because even though Iknew that growing up the way I
did there were so many timesover the last couple years where
I was like I said ready to throwin the towel and because I'm a
mom and because I am you knowsetting that ground for for Kai
(47:09):
and he looks up to me there wasjust like no you you don't have
any option but to continue topush forward and succeed and be
strong because you have to setthat example for him.
SPEAKER_00 (47:19):
So strength.
SPEAKER_01 (47:19):
Yeah the strength that's powerful thank you um if
you could tell your 14 year oldself one thing what would that
be gonna say this without beingemotional um that none of it
it's not your fault it's notyour fault like I for many years
(47:42):
um couldn't understand why Iwent through and why my
circumstances were the way theywere right so you can't help but
question like did I did I dosomething wrong?
Right?
Was it me?
Should I have done somethingdifferent to not have or not be
a product of that environment soI'm gonna say it's not your
fault.
SPEAKER_00 (47:58):
Yeah and I'm pretty sure you're gonna say I'm very
proud of who you have become oh100% yeah yeah and I am very
proud of who you have becomeNicole you know it's not easy to
take life as it throws at youbut you take it and mold it the
way that you want it to be thatis strength power and resilience
there.
So thank you very much Nicoletaking the time for having me
(48:21):
you're most welcome it's apleasure and an honor to have
you and we look forward tomeeting you again in one of our
next shows.
Definitely thanks thank you guyswow Nicole thank you for your
honesty and your heart youreminded us that the hardest
chapters of our lives can becomethe foundation for our greatest
success.
And to you our listeners iftoday's episode moved you
(48:42):
inspired you gave you thatlittle nudge to keep going I
want to hear all about it.
Drop a comment share this withsomeone who needs to hear it and
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this is what we do real stories,real strategies and real
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Remember you are one decisionaway from rewriting your story
(49:05):
and we are here to help you doit.
Until next time keep buildingkeep believing and keep showing
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thank you for spending your timewith us on the Stellar Talk
show.
We hope you found value intoday's episode and gained
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(49:26):
discussion please like subscribeand share it with anyone who
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