June 10, 2025 • 15 mins
When was the last time you let fear of failure stop you from pursuing something important? This candid conversation dives deep into the paralyzing effects of a fixed mindset and reveals how believing "if I'm bad at something, that's my forever thing" can keep us stuck for decades.
Through vulnerable storytelling, we explore a transformative approach to rediscovering and pursuing long-buried dreams. The "three lists" exercise—identifying childhood heroes (Star List), acknowledging natural talents (Success List), and confronting fears (Scared List)—creates a roadmap for authentic growth. Rather than waiting to feel ready, we discover how deliberately seeking discomfort builds the courage muscle and generates momentum.
What's particularly fascinating is the mindset routine shared that transforms pre-performance anxiety into excited anticipation. By clearing negative thoughts with a neutral statement ("The first blizzard is December 1st") followed by empowering affirmations, we can rewire our emotional response to high-pressure situations. This technique, adapted from sports psychology, proves remarkably effective for creative expression and public speaking.
The conversation takes a powerful turn when discussing how women can lift each other up in creative pursuits. There's a palpable shift happening from competition to community, where seeing another woman succeed becomes inspiring rather than threatening. By sharing our authentic voices and supporting others doing the same, we create ripple effects that expand possibilities for everyone.
Ready to stop overthinking and start taking bold action? Grab the free Confidence Kickstart Morning Routine in the show notes—it's the daily practice that's helping thousands build sustainable confidence through consistent habits rather than waiting for courage to magically appear.
New episodes every week — packed with honest conversations, mindset tools, and real-life shortcuts to help you silence your inner critic, build true confidence, and take bold action.
📌 Subscribe + share if you're ready to stop overthinking and finally move forward.
💛 For freebies and updates, Join The Confidence Shortcut Community
✨ Grab your free Confidence Kickstart Guide.
🧠 Click to learn more about the Dynamic Neural Retraining System (DNRS) and how it helps rewire your brain for healing.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Niki Sterner (00:01):
Welcome to the Confidence Shortcut, the podcast
for ambitious creatives andentrepreneurs who are ready to
stop overthinking, take boldaction and finally step into the
life they've been dreamingabout.
I'm your host, nikki Sterner,mom, actor, comedian and
producer.
After years of playing smalland waiting to feel ready, I
went on a courage quest andfound a shortcut to confidence.
(00:21):
Each week, I'll bring you realstories, simple steps and
conversations with experts.
In mindset courage andconfidence, plus heart-to-hearts
with fellow creatives who areturning their dreams into
reality.
It's time to get unstuck andstart showing up.
Let's dive in.
Micah Caldwell (00:38):
Anyway, back to you.
Yeah, so you said it was a25-year journey to get you to
where you are now and that youwere stuck.
But but why did it take so longfor you to make that change?
Niki Sterner (00:55):
I think it was because I felt like if I was bad
at something, that that was myforever thing, like it was a
fixed mindset.
That was my issue.
I didn't have a growth mindset.
I wasn't allowing myself to bebad before I was good.
I felt embarrassed if I was badat things.
I took my first acting class incollege my freshman year, and it
was an improv class orintroduction to acting and I
(01:17):
remember my acting teacherplaying the game where you say
your name and you do an actionand she was like Peggy and I
remember just saying my name anddoing something.
But I was so just anxious inthe class and I was like how can
I feel this anxious and stillbe an actor?
Like, obviously that's not forme.
And so I didn't take anotheracting class and I just focused
on dance team because I lovedancing and I was comfortable
(01:40):
and I was good at it.
But one of the ways to figuringout what you actually love to do
or want to do with your life orwhat your long-term dream, just
remembering it and how I didthat was the three lists and
that's your star list, yoursuccess list and your scared
list.
So your star list is who didyou look up to when you were
younger?
Right?
(02:00):
So you probably have people Ihad, like I said earlier Paula
Abdul, julia Roberts, dollyParton yes, that's right, dolly
Parton for you, exactly, yes,perfect.
So, singer, actress, all thethings right, probably a triple
threat.
And then so you look at thosepeople and then you reverse
engineer what did they do?
Why do I want to be like them?
(02:20):
And then you've got yoursuccess list what am I good at?
What were you good at?
Micah Caldwell (02:27):
I was a good musician yeah, but that was not
something that was encouraged.
I was good at school yeah, it'salways an overachiever, yeah.
Niki Sterner (02:38):
So that makes sense.
You're very good at what you do.
I can tell like you're verydisciplined, you get things done
, you're very creative, you'refunny, you're all the things,
yeah, so you definitely are oneof those overachievers who takes
school seriously, who takesyour job seriously, all of it.
So, same, I felt like I was agood athlete.
I was on a basketball team thatwent to state my junior and
senior years.
(02:58):
I had a free throw record thatstill stands Um, yeah, fun stuff
.
And then I was a good dancer.
I won like a scholarship andthen I got on the dance team.
In college I ended up being oneof three valedictorians in my
class.
I felt like I really enjoyedlearning, like you do.
I love being in class.
I love that.
The third list is the scaredlist, and the scared list is
(03:19):
just everything that I wasafraid of, which is, of course,
using my voice.
Anytime I got on stage in highschool, I did pageants and when
I would have to answer thequestion, I was like that girl
who just made no sense on stage.
Micah Caldwell (03:31):
Exactly, and world peace.
Niki Sterner (03:34):
So they asked me a question about what I would put
in one of those things you buryunderground like a time capsule
.
Micah Caldwell (03:40):
Time capsule.
Niki Sterner (03:41):
Yeah, and I just remember being like I would put
a heart-shaped necklace in therebecause I love love.
It made no sense whatsoever, itwas so bad.
So there was that moment and Iwas just so embarrassed.
And then I did another pageantin college, right after college,
and I actually trained for it.
(04:01):
I set myself up for success,where I wrote out my interview
questions and I studied them andI read a book and I was in the
gym every day doing leg workoutson the bicycle to get my legs
in shape for the bikini portionof it.
I gave a speech at mygraduation as a valedictorian
and I just remember being sonervous about it and I played
music under my speech.
(04:22):
So I don't even know if peoplecould hear me.
Like it was so bad.
Oh no, yeah, so bad.
I just wanted to drown my voiceout because I was not confident
.
Confidence doesn't come first.
Action and habits do.
That's why I created theConfidence Kickstart Morning
Routine, a 15-minute free guideto help you build habits that
actually work.
You'll get powerful journalprompts, a guided audio
(04:44):
meditation and my three-partconfident shortcut system
Mindset, path and Action.
It's the exact routine I use toget up on stage and speak up.
No more shrinking or secondguessing the link's in the
caption.
Grab it now and build theconfidence to move forward every
single day.
I think a big key to living outyour bigger life is doing the
(05:09):
things that are on your scaredlist.
Micah Caldwell (05:10):
Yeah, Was that the courage quest?
Was it doing anything you werescared of, or anything where
your initial reaction was like Ican't or I'm afraid, or was
there more of a strategy to it?
So, like what should we beputting on our scared list?
Niki Sterner (05:25):
I love this question because I actually
started training physically,like the tent camping, the
snakes, the whitewater rafting,all the things that I was
probably more comfortable withthan my voice, because I gained
momentum that way and I had yeah, I had a goal in mind to train
for the show.
I was training for the show andthose things fell into line.
So whatever you're training for, I think, is what you throw on
(05:49):
your list, but anything that youwere afraid of is going to give
you momentum.
So anything that you're afraidof, you put on the list.
And then, once I started togain momentum, then I was like,
oh, this standup comedyopportunity showed up.
It was the pack comedy festivalin Hollywood and I was like I'm
going to submit my tape forthis.
And I got in and I was like, ohmy gosh, that means I have to
actually start training to be acomedian.
So that's actually why Istarted doing the standup comedy
(06:13):
.
Like the month before I wasgoing to perform I was like, oh
my gosh, it's time.
And so I just started doingmics, like 30 mics in 30 days,
and it was really throwingmyself into the fire like just
get up on stage and I forgot mywords.
I was terrible.
I felt like an idiot, and thenI started to develop this
(06:35):
mindset routine that Iremembered I had during
basketball in high school andthat's what helped me with the
higher pressure situations likeduring games with my free throws
, which is actually what I got.
My record in is consecutivefree throws in games during the
high pressure situation.
So then I was like, oh, I canuse that same mindset routine,
just adjust it for a standupcomedy in basketball.
(06:57):
I said the first blizzard isDecember 1st.
And then I'd get the ball andI'd spin it and I'd say bounce,
bounce, bend, swish.
And so I'd program my mind toknow that the ball was going to
swish, it was going to go inevery time.
So for standup comedy, I wouldsay the same first line, which
was just to clear my brain.
So I would say the firstblizzard is December 1st,
because I might be nervous, Imight have these thoughts what
(07:19):
if I forget my lines?
What if people don't like me?
What if I just blank out, likeI've done in the past?
And so I had to say the firstblizzard is December 1st, to
clear my mind.
So it's no longer negative,it's no longer positive, it's
just clear.
And then I would say, yeah,just a fact, or it doesn't mean
(07:40):
anything, it's a neutralstatement, exactly A neutral
statement, yeah.
So the first blizzard isDecember 1st.
I am full of joy, I am magnetic.
That's what I would say nextbefore going on stage, cause
that's how I want to feel.
I want to feel like I'm amagnet to my audience and that
we're connected.
And then I would say theaudience loves me and they laugh
at all my jokes.
And then I'd get myself excitedto go up on stage by saying
that, oh my gosh, they love like.
Put on a show for me.
What do you got?
(08:09):
You know, and I'm like, oh, Igot energy, but look, I'm going
to make you laugh.
I know this, I just told myselfthis right before I got on
stage, right, and that helped meto enjoy myself, versus just
going through the motions ofperforming the standup comedy,
cause that can get old, thatthat is kind of a grind.
But when I shifted the mindset,I was able to really sit and
(08:32):
enjoy the other comedians, enjoythe audience and just enjoy
this whole experience, and thatwas valuable for me in using my
voice.
If you've been living withchronic symptoms like pain,
brain fog, sensitivity to smells, light or sound, it might not
(08:52):
just be your body, it could beyour brain, stuck in a survival
loop.
Dnrs stands for Dynamic NeuralRetraining System.
It's a science-backed programthat helps rewire the limbic
system, the part of the brainresponsible for fear, fight or
flight and overreaction toeveryday things.
It changed everything for me,helping me heal and return to
the creative life I love.
(09:13):
If this speaks to you, clickthe link in the caption.
It might be the answer you'relooking for.
Micah Caldwell (09:20):
So I love how you took so many opportunities
to do things before you feltready, and also, do you have to
know your why before you can dothe other things you talked
about, like your star list, yourscared list, your success list?
It seems like, even though youstarted out with physical
(09:40):
activities like camping andholding snakes and things
related to the outdoors, youknew your why at that point, you
knew that you wanted to performand you had a specific thing
that you were working towards.
Is there any benefit to doingthe scared list or challenging
yourself to things if you don'tknow your why yet?
Niki Sterner (09:59):
That's the good point.
You have to know your why,because when things get hard,
you have to turn back to yourwhy and go.
This is why I'm doing this, andI think the order for me in
gaining confidence was mindset.
So shifting into the positivemindset and the growth mindset,
like failure is okay, failure isgood.
It's okay for me to be badbefore I'm good.
(10:19):
I'm going to try things and I'mgoing to keep growing through
them.
I don't have to be perfect.
All of that was first, and thenthe second part was the path and
gaining clarity on it and yourwhy is a big part of your path.
It's like why am I doing this?
What do I value?
Because you might want to havefive different things, but maybe
these three things are moreimportant to you Time with your
(10:41):
friends, or time with yourfamily, or maybe success is the
most important or whatever it isfor you.
It has to feel right and it hasto be aligned with your why.
So your values and your why areboth very important.
And then you're going to alignyour goals with your courage.
(11:01):
You're going to align yourmindset.
You know why you're doing it,and then you come up with what
you actually want to do and thenyou take action, you align your
action to those goals.
So then, as you're gainingmomentum and pushing yourself,
you keep butting up againstresistance.
Every new level.
I feel it again and I'm likedang it.
(11:21):
I thought I was through this,but it's a constant, it's a
change in your mindset, thegrowth versus.
I have it all figured out?
I don't, and I don't know if Iever will, but as long as I'm
open to trying and taking actionbefore I feel ready, I feel
like I'm going to get to where Iwant to go, and I think one can
get to where they want to go byhaving that mindset.
Micah Caldwell (11:47):
That makes me want to ask this next question,
which is what did you learnalong the way, and were there
any setbacks or challenges ormoments where you had to realign
with your why?
Niki Sterner (12:00):
yeah, I don't think I've said this yet, but
one of my big whys and Irealized it along the way was
that I want to help other womenand people who feel like they
don't have a voice to sharetheir voice, because I know what
it feels like to know what youwant to say, but you don't
really have the courage to sayit or to put your work out there
(12:23):
.
I want to help other people workthrough that.
The big part of this podcast ishelping us all get our voices
out there, because we needwomen's voices, we need our
stories, we need our point ofview out there and I feel like
there's a lot of room for growthas women.
You are one of the trailblazers.
You've been doing a lot in DCon stage.
(12:46):
You are sharing your voice andI think when you and I and other
women do that, we give womenpermission to do the same Right,
and I have noticed there usedto be a competitiveness among
women.
Sure Myself included, and I feellike now I don't have that
(13:07):
anymore.
I've had this shift where wecan cheer each other on, we can
lift each other up and we areall so unique and individual.
There is this collective energyof women rising and creatives
rising, and it's so powerful.
Even on my sketch and improvteam, I'm like, oh, we need more
women on this stage with us,and so when I see another woman
(13:28):
is being critical of herself,I'm like I can relate to that, I
know that, and so it makes youwant to encourage her more.
You're doing great, keep at it.
Micah Caldwell (13:36):
I have had the same feelings and we're going to
fail forward, and creativeendeavors are hard enough as
they are.
So having cheerleaders andsupport along the way is so
helpful, because it's so easy toget discouraged.
Niki Sterner (13:51):
So yeah, having that community like we've
gathered in a couple ofdifferent groups, and just
having that camaraderie amongartists is so valuable and it's
so fun and it just makes it soworth it.
The connections that we havewith each other.
I missed that from high school.
I feel like I lost it for alittle while.
The connections with my kidsaren't exactly the same.
(14:11):
No, they're not but they'restill great.
They are great, you're right.
And yesterday was Mother's Day,and I was so thankful because
now there's so manyopportunities that are happening
that I miss my kids and I missmy husband and I want to see
them.
And so when we get specialtimes, even if it's for two
hours on a Sunday where we goeat for a holiday, this is
(14:35):
something special.
I get it when women are feelingpulled.
You know they're working andthey feel like they're not good
at everything.
They can't be good ateverything because they're
pulled in so many differentdirections, but I think it's
just finding the magic in eachmoment, no matter how small it
is.
Thanks so much for listening tothe Confident Shortcut.
I hope today's episode wokesomething up in you, reminding
(14:57):
you that your dream matters andyou can start now.
If this sparked something,share it with a friend who needs
it too, and don't forget tofollow me on Instagram at Nikki
Sterner and join our Facebookcommunity at the Confidence
Shortcut.
Ready to take the next step?
Check out my free guide, theConfidence Kickstart, linked in
the show notes.
Keep showing up, keep takingaction and remember the shortcut
(15:18):
to confidence is courage.
Welcome to the Confidence Shortcut, the podcast
for ambitious creatives andentrepreneurs who are ready to
stop overthinking, take boldaction and finally step into the
life they've been dreamingabout.
I'm your host, nikki Sterner,mom, actor, comedian and
producer.
After years of playing smalland waiting to feel ready, I
went on a courage quest andfound a shortcut to confidence.
(00:21):
Each week, I'll bring you realstories, simple steps and
conversations with experts.
In mindset courage andconfidence, plus heart-to-hearts
with fellow creatives who areturning their dreams into
reality.
It's time to get unstuck andstart showing up.
Let's dive in.
Micah Caldwell (00:38):
Anyway, back to you.
Yeah, so you said it was a25-year journey to get you to
where you are now and that youwere stuck.
But but why did it take so longfor you to make that change?
Niki Sterner (00:55):
I think it was because I felt like if I was bad
at something, that that was myforever thing, like it was a
fixed mindset.
That was my issue.
I didn't have a growth mindset.
I wasn't allowing myself to bebad before I was good.
I felt embarrassed if I was badat things.
I took my first acting class incollege my freshman year, and it
was an improv class orintroduction to acting and I
(01:17):
remember my acting teacherplaying the game where you say
your name and you do an actionand she was like Peggy and I
remember just saying my name anddoing something.
But I was so just anxious inthe class and I was like how can
I feel this anxious and stillbe an actor?
Like, obviously that's not forme.
And so I didn't take anotheracting class and I just focused
on dance team because I lovedancing and I was comfortable
(01:40):
and I was good at it.
But one of the ways to figuringout what you actually love to do
or want to do with your life orwhat your long-term dream, just
remembering it and how I didthat was the three lists and
that's your star list, yoursuccess list and your scared
list.
So your star list is who didyou look up to when you were
younger?
Right?
(02:00):
So you probably have people Ihad, like I said earlier Paula
Abdul, julia Roberts, dollyParton yes, that's right, dolly
Parton for you, exactly, yes,perfect.
So, singer, actress, all thethings right, probably a triple
threat.
And then so you look at thosepeople and then you reverse
engineer what did they do?
Why do I want to be like them?
(02:20):
And then you've got yoursuccess list what am I good at?
What were you good at?
Micah Caldwell (02:27):
I was a good musician yeah, but that was not
something that was encouraged.
I was good at school yeah, it'salways an overachiever, yeah.
Niki Sterner (02:38):
So that makes sense.
You're very good at what you do.
I can tell like you're verydisciplined, you get things done
, you're very creative, you'refunny, you're all the things,
yeah, so you definitely are oneof those overachievers who takes
school seriously, who takesyour job seriously, all of it.
So, same, I felt like I was agood athlete.
I was on a basketball team thatwent to state my junior and
senior years.
(02:58):
I had a free throw record thatstill stands Um, yeah, fun stuff
.
And then I was a good dancer.
I won like a scholarship andthen I got on the dance team.
In college I ended up being oneof three valedictorians in my
class.
I felt like I really enjoyedlearning, like you do.
I love being in class.
I love that.
The third list is the scaredlist, and the scared list is
(03:19):
just everything that I wasafraid of, which is, of course,
using my voice.
Anytime I got on stage in highschool, I did pageants and when
I would have to answer thequestion, I was like that girl
who just made no sense on stage.
Micah Caldwell (03:31):
Exactly, and world peace.
Niki Sterner (03:34):
So they asked me a question about what I would put
in one of those things you buryunderground like a time capsule
.
Micah Caldwell (03:40):
Time capsule.
Niki Sterner (03:41):
Yeah, and I just remember being like I would put
a heart-shaped necklace in therebecause I love love.
It made no sense whatsoever, itwas so bad.
So there was that moment and Iwas just so embarrassed.
And then I did another pageantin college, right after college,
and I actually trained for it.
(04:01):
I set myself up for success,where I wrote out my interview
questions and I studied them andI read a book and I was in the
gym every day doing leg workoutson the bicycle to get my legs
in shape for the bikini portionof it.
I gave a speech at mygraduation as a valedictorian
and I just remember being sonervous about it and I played
music under my speech.
(04:22):
So I don't even know if peoplecould hear me.
Like it was so bad.
Oh no, yeah, so bad.
I just wanted to drown my voiceout because I was not confident
.
Confidence doesn't come first.
Action and habits do.
That's why I created theConfidence Kickstart Morning
Routine, a 15-minute free guideto help you build habits that
actually work.
You'll get powerful journalprompts, a guided audio
(04:44):
meditation and my three-partconfident shortcut system
Mindset, path and Action.
It's the exact routine I use toget up on stage and speak up.
No more shrinking or secondguessing the link's in the
caption.
Grab it now and build theconfidence to move forward every
single day.
I think a big key to living outyour bigger life is doing the
(05:09):
things that are on your scaredlist.
Micah Caldwell (05:10):
Yeah, Was that the courage quest?
Was it doing anything you werescared of, or anything where
your initial reaction was like Ican't or I'm afraid, or was
there more of a strategy to it?
So, like what should we beputting on our scared list?
Niki Sterner (05:25):
I love this question because I actually
started training physically,like the tent camping, the
snakes, the whitewater rafting,all the things that I was
probably more comfortable withthan my voice, because I gained
momentum that way and I had yeah, I had a goal in mind to train
for the show.
I was training for the show andthose things fell into line.
So whatever you're training for, I think, is what you throw on
(05:49):
your list, but anything that youwere afraid of is going to give
you momentum.
So anything that you're afraidof, you put on the list.
And then, once I started togain momentum, then I was like,
oh, this standup comedyopportunity showed up.
It was the pack comedy festivalin Hollywood and I was like I'm
going to submit my tape forthis.
And I got in and I was like, ohmy gosh, that means I have to
actually start training to be acomedian.
So that's actually why Istarted doing the standup comedy
(06:13):
.
Like the month before I wasgoing to perform I was like, oh
my gosh, it's time.
And so I just started doingmics, like 30 mics in 30 days,
and it was really throwingmyself into the fire like just
get up on stage and I forgot mywords.
I was terrible.
I felt like an idiot, and thenI started to develop this
(06:35):
mindset routine that Iremembered I had during
basketball in high school andthat's what helped me with the
higher pressure situations likeduring games with my free throws
, which is actually what I got.
My record in is consecutivefree throws in games during the
high pressure situation.
So then I was like, oh, I canuse that same mindset routine,
just adjust it for a standupcomedy in basketball.
(06:57):
I said the first blizzard isDecember 1st.
And then I'd get the ball andI'd spin it and I'd say bounce,
bounce, bend, swish.
And so I'd program my mind toknow that the ball was going to
swish, it was going to go inevery time.
So for standup comedy, I wouldsay the same first line, which
was just to clear my brain.
So I would say the firstblizzard is December 1st,
because I might be nervous, Imight have these thoughts what
(07:19):
if I forget my lines?
What if people don't like me?
What if I just blank out, likeI've done in the past?
And so I had to say the firstblizzard is December 1st, to
clear my mind.
So it's no longer negative,it's no longer positive, it's
just clear.
And then I would say, yeah,just a fact, or it doesn't mean
(07:40):
anything, it's a neutralstatement, exactly A neutral
statement, yeah.
So the first blizzard isDecember 1st.
I am full of joy, I am magnetic.
That's what I would say nextbefore going on stage, cause
that's how I want to feel.
I want to feel like I'm amagnet to my audience and that
we're connected.
And then I would say theaudience loves me and they laugh
at all my jokes.
And then I'd get myself excitedto go up on stage by saying
that, oh my gosh, they love like.
Put on a show for me.
What do you got?
(08:09):
You know, and I'm like, oh, Igot energy, but look, I'm going
to make you laugh.
I know this, I just told myselfthis right before I got on
stage, right, and that helped meto enjoy myself, versus just
going through the motions ofperforming the standup comedy,
cause that can get old, thatthat is kind of a grind.
But when I shifted the mindset,I was able to really sit and
(08:32):
enjoy the other comedians, enjoythe audience and just enjoy
this whole experience, and thatwas valuable for me in using my
voice.
If you've been living withchronic symptoms like pain,
brain fog, sensitivity to smells, light or sound, it might not
(08:52):
just be your body, it could beyour brain, stuck in a survival
loop.
Dnrs stands for Dynamic NeuralRetraining System.
It's a science-backed programthat helps rewire the limbic
system, the part of the brainresponsible for fear, fight or
flight and overreaction toeveryday things.
It changed everything for me,helping me heal and return to
the creative life I love.
(09:13):
If this speaks to you, clickthe link in the caption.
It might be the answer you'relooking for.
Micah Caldwell (09:20):
So I love how you took so many opportunities
to do things before you feltready, and also, do you have to
know your why before you can dothe other things you talked
about, like your star list, yourscared list, your success list?
It seems like, even though youstarted out with physical
(09:40):
activities like camping andholding snakes and things
related to the outdoors, youknew your why at that point, you
knew that you wanted to performand you had a specific thing
that you were working towards.
Is there any benefit to doingthe scared list or challenging
yourself to things if you don'tknow your why yet?
Niki Sterner (09:59):
That's the good point.
You have to know your why,because when things get hard,
you have to turn back to yourwhy and go.
This is why I'm doing this, andI think the order for me in
gaining confidence was mindset.
So shifting into the positivemindset and the growth mindset,
like failure is okay, failure isgood.
It's okay for me to be badbefore I'm good.
(10:19):
I'm going to try things and I'mgoing to keep growing through
them.
I don't have to be perfect.
All of that was first, and thenthe second part was the path and
gaining clarity on it and yourwhy is a big part of your path.
It's like why am I doing this?
What do I value?
Because you might want to havefive different things, but maybe
these three things are moreimportant to you Time with your
(10:41):
friends, or time with yourfamily, or maybe success is the
most important or whatever it isfor you.
It has to feel right and it hasto be aligned with your why.
So your values and your why areboth very important.
And then you're going to alignyour goals with your courage.
(11:01):
You're going to align yourmindset.
You know why you're doing it,and then you come up with what
you actually want to do and thenyou take action, you align your
action to those goals.
So then, as you're gainingmomentum and pushing yourself,
you keep butting up againstresistance.
Every new level.
I feel it again and I'm likedang it.
(11:21):
I thought I was through this,but it's a constant, it's a
change in your mindset, thegrowth versus.
I have it all figured out?
I don't, and I don't know if Iever will, but as long as I'm
open to trying and taking actionbefore I feel ready, I feel
like I'm going to get to where Iwant to go, and I think one can
get to where they want to go byhaving that mindset.
Micah Caldwell (11:47):
That makes me want to ask this next question,
which is what did you learnalong the way, and were there
any setbacks or challenges ormoments where you had to realign
with your why?
Niki Sterner (12:00):
yeah, I don't think I've said this yet, but
one of my big whys and Irealized it along the way was
that I want to help other womenand people who feel like they
don't have a voice to sharetheir voice, because I know what
it feels like to know what youwant to say, but you don't
really have the courage to sayit or to put your work out there
(12:23):
.
I want to help other people workthrough that.
The big part of this podcast ishelping us all get our voices
out there, because we needwomen's voices, we need our
stories, we need our point ofview out there and I feel like
there's a lot of room for growthas women.
You are one of the trailblazers.
You've been doing a lot in DCon stage.
(12:46):
You are sharing your voice andI think when you and I and other
women do that, we give womenpermission to do the same Right,
and I have noticed there usedto be a competitiveness among
women.
Sure Myself included, and I feellike now I don't have that
(13:07):
anymore.
I've had this shift where wecan cheer each other on, we can
lift each other up and we areall so unique and individual.
There is this collective energyof women rising and creatives
rising, and it's so powerful.
Even on my sketch and improvteam, I'm like, oh, we need more
women on this stage with us,and so when I see another woman
(13:28):
is being critical of herself,I'm like I can relate to that, I
know that, and so it makes youwant to encourage her more.
You're doing great, keep at it.
Micah Caldwell (13:36):
I have had the same feelings and we're going to
fail forward, and creativeendeavors are hard enough as
they are.
So having cheerleaders andsupport along the way is so
helpful, because it's so easy toget discouraged.
Niki Sterner (13:51):
So yeah, having that community like we've
gathered in a couple ofdifferent groups, and just
having that camaraderie amongartists is so valuable and it's
so fun and it just makes it soworth it.
The connections that we havewith each other.
I missed that from high school.
I feel like I lost it for alittle while.
The connections with my kidsaren't exactly the same.
(14:11):
No, they're not but they'restill great.
They are great, you're right.
And yesterday was Mother's Day,and I was so thankful because
now there's so manyopportunities that are happening
that I miss my kids and I missmy husband and I want to see
them.
And so when we get specialtimes, even if it's for two
hours on a Sunday where we goeat for a holiday, this is
(14:35):
something special.
I get it when women are feelingpulled.
You know they're working andthey feel like they're not good
at everything.
They can't be good ateverything because they're
pulled in so many differentdirections, but I think it's
just finding the magic in eachmoment, no matter how small it
is.
Thanks so much for listening tothe Confident Shortcut.
I hope today's episode wokesomething up in you, reminding
(14:57):
you that your dream matters andyou can start now.
If this sparked something,share it with a friend who needs
it too, and don't forget tofollow me on Instagram at Nikki
Sterner and join our Facebookcommunity at the Confidence
Shortcut.
Ready to take the next step?
Check out my free guide, theConfidence Kickstart, linked in
the show notes.
Keep showing up, keep takingaction and remember the shortcut
(15:18):
to confidence is courage.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.