TAPE 49 - Chamomile, Chloroform, and the Big Word Board

The documenteur once again attempts to establish a thread of logic in Bootstuck, only to be derailed immediately by talk of sleep aids — ranging from chamomile tea to the rather more concerning chloroform and carbon monoxide. Dave, it seems, has been missing for six weeks, but nobody’s alarmed; apparently, he was just “sleeping under a tree."

When pressed about education in Bootstuck, the locals reveal their belief that everyone simply “comes with the knowledge,” meaning there are no schools, just an ever-growing pool of collective half-knowledge. The documenteur, visibly exasperated, tries to pivot toward nighttime — only to be informed that Bootstuck “gets night at nighttime, when it’s most popular.”

As if things weren’t disorienting enough, the tape ends with an abrupt advertisement for “Fizz” — a fizzy drink available in flavors like “black and white” and “bird’s eye” — leaving both the documenteur and the listener wondering whether they’ve stumbled into Bootstuck’s commercial break or its collective hallucination.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:10):
We've got something on the Mega in the status
queers.

SPEAKER_02 (00:15):
I think it's because of Yep.
Oh, speaking of propane, we'vebeen using a lot of new things
around here to get sleepy.
Woo! Things like chamomile,chamomile, chamomole.

SPEAKER_01 (00:28):
The tea the tea, yeah, the chamomile tea.

SPEAKER_02 (00:30):
I think it's all because of protons.
We also like to use carbonmonoxide.
That seems to get people whiterelaxed quite fast.
Chloroform seems to work fine.
Go to sleep.
I had a meeting once, didn'tknow what cap to wear.
Ever tell you about that time?

SPEAKER_01 (00:44):
You've t you've told me many uh hat stories, for
sure.

SPEAKER_02 (00:47):
Yep, I've got some stories that don't have hats in
it.
You want one?

SPEAKER_01 (00:50):
Uh I would love that, actually.

SPEAKER_02 (00:52):
Sure, I'll fold it up and send it in a period in a
pigeon.
He'll get it over to you at somepoint.

SPEAKER_01 (00:56):
Uh moving on.

SPEAKER_02 (00:58):
Sometimes I put my hand in the jar to pick out a
few more words, like this one.
Turn up.
Never thought I'd say that.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04):
Turnip?

SPEAKER_02 (01:05):
Yep, now.
Turn up.
Yep.
I got a question about theturnip.
Is that somebody that comes outfrom the car?
They turn up, turnip.
Or is that something that growsin the ground and grows up?
Hey, oy, oi, oi.

(01:27):
Okay, Dave turned up last night.
We hadn't seen him in six weeks.

SPEAKER_01 (01:31):
Is that right?
Yeah.
Six weeks.
Where was he?

SPEAKER_02 (01:33):
Oh, chloroform.

SPEAKER_01 (01:35):
Chloroform.

SPEAKER_02 (01:35):
Yeah, he was tired.
He had a nap under the tree, sawlogs.
Well, Caleb's cobbled.
And Dave just left.

SPEAKER_01 (01:42):
You realize that's dangerous, of course.

SPEAKER_02 (01:44):
Song, logs while you sleep.

unknown (01:47):
Woohoo!

SPEAKER_02 (01:49):
Yep, that's why Caleb was in first.

SPEAKER_01 (01:52):
I'll be honest, you you tell me a lot of stories
about where you are, and I Idon't get the impression that
it's very safe.

SPEAKER_02 (01:57):
Thank you very much.
What do you mean?
Oh my god.
You should think about it beforeyou speak.
Sometimes I think about thingsbefore I speak.
But a week in advance, I wasgonna talk about the whole movie
that we're gonna have, and wethought we were gonna implement
pop points.
Cross it off the board, I usethe implement word.

SPEAKER_01 (02:14):
Oh, is this the board of big words that you
have?

SPEAKER_02 (02:17):
We have it.
Yeah, we keep putting up wordsof big words on the board, big
word board.
And then when we use one, crossit off the board.
The big word board.

SPEAKER_01 (02:26):
Well, do they have any kind of education there?

SPEAKER_02 (02:29):
Yeah.
No, well, sorry.
Yeah.
What do you want to know?

SPEAKER_01 (02:34):
How are people educated in Bootstock?

SPEAKER_02 (02:37):
Yeah, they come with the knowledge.

SPEAKER_01 (02:39):
They come with the know so there's no schools,
there's no classroom.

SPEAKER_02 (02:42):
Well, think about it.
Do you do you know everythingyou know?

SPEAKER_01 (02:46):
Well, of course I know everything that I know.

SPEAKER_02 (02:48):
Same here.
We all know everything we know,and altogether we know
everything that each otherknows.
Think about that.

SPEAKER_01 (02:54):
Introducing new knowledge is not exactly
priority number one.
When was the last time you had anew person?

SPEAKER_02 (03:05):
Caleb was the last one to come.
He came two years ago, and he'sbeen cutting wood, chopping
wood, stacking wood ever since.
He's also in charge of theroller coaster, the snowmobile
operation, and the cheap tip.

SPEAKER_01 (03:15):
And he doesn't talk.

SPEAKER_02 (03:17):
Unsure, really.

SPEAKER_01 (03:19):
Has he ever spoken?

SPEAKER_02 (03:20):
No.

SPEAKER_01 (03:21):
Well then he doesn't speak the okay.
We're moving on.
You've completely derailed mytrain of thought.

SPEAKER_02 (03:27):
You get nighttime?

SPEAKER_01 (03:29):
Uh do I get nighttime?

SPEAKER_02 (03:31):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (03:32):
Well, of course we do.

SPEAKER_02 (03:33):
Well, you get it all day or just sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 (03:35):
We get night at nighttime.
That's when it's most popular.

SPEAKER_02 (03:38):
All right.
Well, I guess you gotta go withthe consent.
Okay.
Close your eyes.
On your eyeballs with yourknuckles.
And then you're gonna see allsorts of stars.

SPEAKER_01 (03:51):
I got nothing.

SPEAKER_02 (03:52):
That's okay.
I got ice cream.
Ice cream!

SPEAKER_00 (03:56):
Excuse me, madam, but have you ever tried fizz?
Oh, yes, I was the first on myblock.
It was delicious.
And Fizz comes in your twofavorite flavors, black and
white and bird's eye.
Oh, yes, I remembered.
Uh how often do you burst?
Well, not too often.
It's kind of expensive.