April 29, 2025 • 36 mins
Brad Chandler opens up about his remarkable dual journey as both a wildly successful real estate investor with 4,500 deals under his belt and as someone who overcame deep-seated personal struggles that once threatened everything he built.
The conversation takes a profound turn when Brad reveals how a seemingly routine therapy session for his son's anxiety unexpectedly uncovered his own unresolved childhood trauma. This discovery launched him into a transformative healing journey that would radically change his approach to business, relationships, and life itself.
Brad doesn't hold back on the consequences of operating from unhealed trauma, candidly sharing how subconscious limiting beliefs cost him $9 million across five devastating real estate mistakes. From a $930,000 loss on a property where he misunderstood a title search to a $1.9 million trademark lawsuit fueled by ego rather than business logic, he connects these financial missteps directly to the "I'm not enough" story programmed into his childhood nervous system.
The most powerful segment comes when Brad explains his breakthrough realization: every negative behavior—from workaholism to substance abuse to relationship problems—stems from untruths formed between birth and age 10. Through his "Joy Regenerator" technique, he demonstrates how neuroplasticity can rewrite these neural pathways in just 3-4 hours of targeted work, freeing people from decades of destructive patterns.
For real estate investors specifically, Brad offers a paradigm-shifting perspective on success. By healing the root causes of limiting beliefs first, investors make clearer, strategic decisions unhindered by emotional baggage. They build businesses based on impact rather than validation-seeking, which paradoxically leads to greater financial success than directly chasing money ever could.
Ready to transform your life and business through this groundbreaking approach? Take the quick self-love assessment at unlocklessmitlessyou.com/quiz and discover how addressing your subconscious programming might be the missing piece in your investment strategy and overall wellbeing. You can also dive deeper with Brad by listening to his podcast, How to Be Happier For Entrepreneurs streaming wherever you listen to your podcasts.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode
of the Wisconsin InvestorPodcast and, as usual, I have
another amazing guest that I'mgoing to be bringing you guys
today.
But before I do, as I do onevery episode, I'm going to give
you a little commercial todayfor Wisconsin Discount
Properties, who sponsors theshow.
And at Wisconsin DiscountProperties, every single week we
are putting off-market deals inyour inbox.
6 am in the inbox every singleweek and all of these deals we
(00:26):
don't put it out unless there'sa way to make money on the deals
.
Oftentimes we only get one ortwo offers on these deals and
somebody ends up making $40,000,$50,000 on these rips that
everybody else is passing on.
So don't be that guy.
If you're looking to get in onoff-market deals, go to
wisconsindiscountpropertiescom,put your information in and
you'll start getting emailsevery single week with
off-market deals.
(00:46):
With that, now let's get intotoday's episode, because we have
a lot to cover.
Today I have my good buddy, mrBrad Chandler, with me.
Brad, what's going on, bud?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Hey man Just living the dream.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Yeah, buddy, brad, tell us a little bit about tea.
Most of the time I'm bringingan investor in here that is in
our market, ripping deals, thatkind of thing.
But you are not in Wisconsin.
You don't do business typicallyin Wisconsin, but give us a
little background on.
You're the real estate side ofBrad Chandler and you do have
(01:18):
some Wisconsin connections.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I do.
I'm a badger, Go Bucky.
So in ninth grade I read a bookon how to buy real estate with
no money down by Robert Allen.
Got to meet him a couple ofyears ago at a mastermind.
Okay 40 something years and,yeah, I always knew I wanted to
do real estate.
So in late 2002, an investorbought my neighbor's house in
Vienna, virginia.
I went and talked to him.
He said, yeah, I buy houses at30% below market, fix them up
(01:43):
and resell them.
I'm like, whoa, I didn't knowyou could do that.
So I was like I'm going to makethis happen.
And I spent eight long monthsworking at night.
I had a newborn son.
I'd come home, I'd spend twohours with him, put him to sleep
.
I'd work from 8 to 11.
I'd work weekends.
I was pounding, counting we BuyHouses signs each month, each
week that went by, it was likeno deal, no deals, no deals.
(02:05):
But I kept showing up to thesereal estate meetings and hearing
all these success stories andI'm like, if they can do it, I
can do it.
And I just became more and morepersistent.
So in July of 2003, I bought myfirst house.
In July and August I bought sixhouses.
I quit my full-time job inOctober.
I came home and told the wifeat the time she's like are you
crazy?
We have a newborn son and I'vegot two kids.
(02:26):
I was like everything will befine.
And sure enough, 22 years later, everything has been fine.
We're not still married, buteverything's fine.
4,500 deals later.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Life is good 4,500 deals you've done in your
lifetime yeah, wow, brad, that'sincredible.
There's so much to unpack there.
But I also want to talk aboutso that's the Real Estate
Wisconsin connection.
You and I met in a mastermindgroup and I think we became fast
friends Maybe it was the Buckyand you, I don't know what it
was but I remember going to myfirst meeting and you were just
(02:59):
so nice to me and you were like,hey, let's go to lunch and
whatever.
We started talking.
And I'm like, hey, let's go tolunch and whatever.
We started talking.
And I'm like, who is this guyso nice, he's so awesome.
Then then we had some funnights together after after
hours and that sort of stuff.
And then I came back to one ofthe meetings I had I hadn't been
there for a little bit, causewe I think we had our daughter
or son or something like thatand I came back and you were
like up talking about thistransformation that you went
through.
And this is part of why Iwanted, because the real estate
(03:20):
stuff is awesome, right, that'swhy we do this podcast, that's
why we love doing this stuff.
But you and I both have darkthings that all of us do, right,
that can sometimes bog us down.
They can cause us not to liveour best life, and I wanted to
bring you on today to talk alittle bit about that
transformation and where youwere coming from, where you are
now, and now you've helped somany other people live their
(03:44):
best life.
But talk a little bit aboutthat transformation and journey
and what got you to want tochange.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah, I mean, let me say something first.
There's someone who's hearingthis, what you just said and
they're like, okay, I'm tuningout, this is silly, this doesn't
apply to me, but there's goingto be someone who listens to
this podcast and actuallylistens to the next 20 minutes
or so and takes a step in ajourney that will forever change
their lives and theirrelationships and their health
(04:09):
and their business and theirkids for generations to come.
This is how powerful this stuffis that I'm going to talk about
.
So four years ago I cannotbelieve it's been four years I
was trying to get my son helpfor anxiety and I was on a Zoom
call like this with aperformance coach and this
performance coach, withinminutes, said you have a tick
and I'm like what she's like.
(04:30):
Yeah, you blink like crazy whenyou talk about your childhood.
You may have some unresolvedshit from your childhood that's
actually affecting your son'sanxiety.
I'm like me no way, like I'vebeen a single dad for years.
I'm a great dad, no chance.
But okay, if you think so, I'llgo.
So she invited me out for aweekend in Park City, utah, with
her and her ex-Navy SEALhusband and brother.
(04:51):
In the course of a weekend,actually a three-hour session
laying in this bed in an Airbnbbedroom my life forever, forever
changed.
I came back a completelydifferent human being.
I mean completely Everythingchanged and I started telling
people about my journey andthere were people like my gosh,
like this is incredible, likeI'm learning more from you than
I am from my therapist.
So I started studying undersome of the world's best and for
(05:14):
the last two or three years, Ihave helped over a hundred
people like radically transformtheir lives and I'm going to
tell you like how it happened tome and I'm going to actually
tell you the secret to life herein like 30 seconds.
It's pretty profound.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Let's go, baby, let's go.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
If you're driving, pull over, grab a piece of paper
, a pen, or just re-listen tothis Every negative behavior you
have in your life, and we couldsit here for hours, but I'm
going to name, like some of thetop 10 that come to my head.
You shut down when your spousesays something that you don't
like.
You drink too much, you smoketoo much weed, you eat too much,
(05:49):
you smoke cigarettes.
You have depression, anxiety.
You work all the time.
Your mind's always racing, youcan't sleep, you're just always
on edge.
All of those negative behaviorsthat you've tried so hard to
change are actually your brain'ssolution.
It Something it thinks is worseover here.
I'm holding up my hand right,just something over here.
When you do the research, whenyou do the deep dive and you do
(06:14):
the work that I do with so manypeople, you find out that this
thing over here that's drivingthe negative behavior that you
can't stop, is nothing more thanan untruth.
That was formed between the agesof birth and 10 years old.
Why was it formed?
Because bad shit usuallyhappens to us.
Or we think, or our needsweren't being met.
So what do we do as kids?
(06:35):
We always internalize it.
In my case, dad would hit mewith a belt and make fun of me.
Well, if I was six years oldand I looked at dad and I said,
oh my God, dad's really effed up, right Guess what?
I'd be completely helpless.
So what does every kid do?
They take the brunt of it andthey say dad must be hitting me
and making fun of me becausethere's something wrong with me.
I'm a bad boy.
(06:56):
That way, all I have to do isbe a better boy and daddy will
love me.
So it helps us get through thattime, but it destroys our lives
.
For me, $9 million worth ofbusiness mistakes and five
mistakes, two marriages thatdidn't work, the use of weed and
alcohol on a daily basis, twokids with behavioral problems.
(07:17):
So let's get back to how weunwind this.
We go and we look at thesethings that are driving the
behavior.
They're nothing more thanuntruths.
We show the brain through aprocess, a scientific process
called neuroplasticity.
We actually rewrite the neuralpathway by showing the brain how
it's untrue, because your braincan't hold two conflicting
(07:37):
thoughts.
It's like a mismatch detector.
You can literally rewrite theneural pathway that's holding
those untruths.
When you do that, corey, whatdo you?
Speaker 1 (07:49):
think happens to the negative behavior when you
rewrite it.
Well then, it's going to goaway.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
It's going to go away .
It's got nothing to fuel it,because every single one of
those things that I mentionedyou were not born with.
There's not a person on thisplanet that was born with
depression, anxiety or an eatingdisorder or a drinking problem,
or a marijuana problem orshutting down.
It was all learned behavior.
So if you learned it, you canunlearn it, and that's what I've
done and my life has been.
These last four years have beenspectacular.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Yes, and I think for me, brad, when I met you and I
saw you, I was like you couldjust see a different person.
When you were up talking aboutthis at the mastermind group, I
was like, whoa, whatever Brad'son, I want it.
I want that juice.
And at the time, my wife and Iwere going through some tough
times.
We had young kids.
We're dealing with all that.
We've got this business thatwe're trying to grow.
(08:37):
There's so many stressors, andthen when you add the stressors
plus all these untruths thatwe've told ourselves over the
years, it just, it just spirals,right.
It was like we'd get in theseloops, man, like we'd get in
these loops of like, like we'dblame each other for certain
things.
And so those of you listeningout there, you're like, well,
how the hell does this relate toreal estate?
Right, like our business couldhave just gone, poof gone,
(08:58):
because we have to take care ofour home base first.
Not to mention like, how do Iinteract with employees that we
have?
Right, how do I interact withcustomers?
How do I do, I do, I.
Am I showing up every day as mybest version of myself?
No, not, when I'm in in theseloops of untruths that keep
happening over and over and overagain.
And that's why I think, likewhat you do, the work that you
(09:19):
do and the stuff that you do tohelp people, and just the stuff
you're consistently gettingbetter at for yourself, is so
important to unlock not onlybusiness growth but just
personal growth, because withoutthat you're going to be stuck
right.
You're never going to reachyour full potential if you're
stuck in these untruths right.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Well, corey, I mean $9 million worth of.
I made five mistakes that costme $9 million.
Some of those were related toreal estate.
I mean, it was almost allrelated to real estate.
So my false belief was that Ineed to make a bunch of money so
that people I can prove myworth, because I didn't feel
worthy.
So one of those nine mistakeswas a house that we bought where
(09:58):
we didn't even run a titlesearch before we bought it.
We ran the title search but wedidn't know how to read it.
We lost $930,000 on one housethat we bought in North
Arlington because we thought wecould subdivide it.
That was purely my limitingself-belief.
So if you're asking yourself,like, what does it have to do
with real estate?
If you have a company and youhave more than yourself, there's
(10:21):
a really good likelihood thatsomeone in your company or on
your team has these limitingbeliefs that's causing them to
drink or have a bad marriage oreat unhealthy.
Do you think that's affectingyour bottom line?
Of course it is.
So I've already worked withpeople in my company here at
Express Homebuyers that havesome of these issues that have
cleared them out, and they'redifferent people.
(10:42):
Do you think I'm getting moreout of them now than I did
before, of course, yeah for sure.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
It's such a.
It's such a big, a big thingfor so many people out there.
What were talk about some ofthose mistakes that you made?
So you talked about thesubdivision one.
What were some of the otherones that cost you big bucks?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
So I got involved in the we Buy Houses trademark
lawsuit that cost me $1.9million all over ego.
I mean I should have just beenlike, fine, I'll take down the
videos.
But I felt like I had to take astand because I think again
this is the amazing part aboutall this is your subconscious
brain controls 95% of your dailybehavior.
(11:19):
Your subconscious means youdon't really know what's driving
the behavior until you do thedeep work.
Only 5% is conscious.
So we've got all these humanbeings 7 billion people, or how
many billions Are we up to eightyet Eight billion.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I had to do a census thing today and I was trying to
figure out how to log back inand randomly saw the world
population 8.1 billion.
Okay, Okay.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Okay.
So there's 8 billion people and99.9% of them are walking
around drinking too much, eatingtoo much, in a pissed off state
and they don't even know what'sfueling it.
It's all in the subconsciousmind.
So the we Buy Houses lawsuitcosts us $1.9 million.
The other house cost us 900,000.
(12:02):
This within 60 days.
We bought the house, we boughta condo conversion in Adams
Morgan and we bought a row housenear the XM satellite
headquarters in DC and we'relike oh, we'll just put another.
Oh, square footage is X hundreddollars, we'll just put another
level on her.
We didn't think we had to go tozoning.
(12:22):
So those three deals the houseand the other two cost us $3
million and the condo conversiontook us over 10 years to
extract ourselves from.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Wow, how do you get out of it?
So.
So for me, when I was in the,in this looping phase and kind
of in this negative state, andI'd been like this I think for
years now in some aspects right,I always told you, brad, this
too, like some part of me feelslike the negative stuff that the
quote unquote trauma from mychildhood, which is like for me,
I always was like I don't havetrauma, I didn't get, I didn't
(12:51):
get beat, I didn't.
My parents were great, yeah,you know.
And then, and then you andAnnie at the time one of our
friends who you know you startedworking with, you know you guys
called it low T, I think, ornot.
Not low to me.
It's a little little T low T issomething else that also can
affect, also can affectperformance, right, we don't
want that.
But the little T stuff, right,it's like the uh.
(13:14):
For me it was like you knowsome friends of mine when we
were in high school, like theyall went to some cottage and
they didn't invite me and wewere all close and I was like
what the heck?
Right, I'm.
Now all of a sudden, I tellmyself a story about that for
the rest of my life, literallyfor the rest of my life, and I
don't ever think about it.
It's just unconsciously playingin the background of certain
things, right, but and I don'teven know where I was going with
(13:34):
this, but I just you weresaying how do you uncover?
You were saying how do you yeah,so if somebody's stuck in this
loop, somebody's stuck in likethis just consistent behavior.
For me the catalyst to get meout was like I noticed there was
a pattern of you know, my wifeand I's consistently like every
six months we'd get stuck inthis like just negative loop,
right, and all of a sudden Ibecame aware I'm like it keeps
(13:55):
happening.
It's gotta be something with me, all right.
But then I saw you talkingabout it.
I said okay, whatever he's got,I want that.
But for some people, maybe thisis the podcast that they're
listening to that's going tohelp them out or whatever.
But what are some ways peoplecan start to start to make
changes or start to make thatfirst step, to start making a
big difference in their life andstart getting over?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
some awesome questions.
So so every all change beginswith awareness.
You have to have awareness.
So you get awareness byfiguring out if you have some of
these subconscious things.
How do you do that?
I can tell you in three minuteshow to do it.
If you go to our website,unlock, let Melissa youcom uh
forward slash quiz.
Go take the, the, the 30, thethree minute 12 question,
(14:36):
self-love quiz.
12-question self-love quiz.
If you lack self-love or youhave mild self-love, that's a
surefire way of knowing that youhave some of these limiting
beliefs.
So change usually comes fromdesperation or inspiration.
Well, desperation is you'reabout to get divorced.
I've had a lot of clients cometo me where they're about to get
divorced, or their weight's outof control, or they smoke or
drink too much, or they've gotdepression or anxiety.
(14:57):
Hopefully the show the secondis inspiration, desperation or
inspiration.
Hopefully you're going to beinspired by my story and Corey's
story to take the first step.
So you take the first step byfiguring out do you have
something in your past?
And then you go get help.
There's on our website andother resources.
(15:18):
We have this thing called theJoy Regenerator that actually
teaches you step-by-step, whenyou're in this rut, how to get
out of it because it never hasto do with the actual situation,
a relationship.
The problem in a relationshipis it's never the actual
relationship, as you have cometo find, corey, with your wife
and you.
It has to do all with therelationship that each
individual has with themselves.
(15:39):
So if your marriage sucks, ifyour relationship with your kids
suck, or your friends or yourbusiness associates, it is going
to be healed by you fixing the.
You've got to always fix therelationship that you have with
yourself and you're like well,why would I have a bad
relationship with myself?
Well, let's go back to the story.
When my dad's hitting me with abelt and making fun of me, I'm
(16:00):
telling myself I'm no good, I'mdisconnecting from the real
human being who God made me tobe, because I feel like when I'm
the real human being that I wasmeant to be, what happens to me
?
I get shame and physicalviolence and embarrassment
placed upon me.
So I don't like this guy.
I'm going to be someone else,and most people spend their
(16:21):
entire lives with this mask, ontrying to be someone who they're
not really.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Yeah, it's so true.
And you know I think you saidsomething earlier, brad, or
something you know in ourconversations nobody came out of
the womb with any of this stuff, right?
Nobody.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Like it's all learned .
It's all learned behavior right.
Don't believe the bullshit aboutlike serotonin levels and
dopamine levels in your brainare causing depression.
It's all a bunch of crap.
That's all crap just to sellyou drugs.
100 million Americans right now, as we speak, are on an
antidepressant or anti-anxietydrug.
Are you freaking, kidding me?
(16:52):
Well, a third of the population.
I had a doctor on my podcast.
I have a podcast called how toBe Happier for Entrepreneurs
Great podcast, by the way, thankyou.
This doctor came on and I saidto him how many people do you
think should be on drugs ofthose hundred million people?
His answer was zero, zero.
They don't freaking work.
Now, do they work for somepeople that are in such a state
(17:15):
that they came and start thehealing process?
Yes, but in general, they're,they're, they're, they're not
effective yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
When I was in, when I was in my first, one of my
first big boy sales jobs.
Growing up out of college, uh,I got on anti-anxiety stuff and
it did it to get off that stuff.
They don't tell you that whenyou go on it, but to try to get
off of it.
Ooh, that was nasty, it'shighly addictive.
Oh xanax we're back now.
(17:55):
Okay, I lost you for a second,but yes, xanax, where I lost you
, highly addictive, yeah, yeah,that's crazy.
So, brad, talk about one of thetools that you use, and maybe
you mentioned this before, butone of the things you mentioned,
uh, or that has helped me a lot, is identifying, like when I'm
in a situation, I identify itand then I end with gratitude.
(18:16):
Can you talk a little bit aboutthat process of like now, for
as you go through it, it becomesquicker and quicker as you
practice it.
But talk a little bit aboutthat.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Yeah, what used to take me days with my former
marriages now takes me minutesor sometimes seconds.
I mean, this is the basis ofthe joy regenerator.
So anytime you feel a negativeemotion, you are in a fight or
flight state and, by the way,you can get in that state by
talking negatively to yourself.
So if you're talking negativelyto yourself, stop it, because
your brain actually doesn't knowthe difference between you or a
stranger.
It releases cortisol.
(18:45):
Cortisol is a inflammatory.
Most diseases and autoimmuneand cancer's basis is in
inflammation.
So stop talking negatively toyourself.
So if you feel a negativeemotion, you're in fight or
flight, which means you're notin the present.
So just do a breathing exercise, whatever's comfortable for you
.
Breathe, you know the box, navyseal box breathing In for three
(19:07):
or four seconds, hold for threeor four seconds, blow out for
three or four seconds, hold andrepeat.
Now that you are hopefullypresent, you're going to
identify the emotion that you'refeeling.
I'm feeling sad.
If you're angry, there'susually, as Eckhart Tolle says,
there's always almost alwaysunderlying sadness or unresolved
hurt.
So let's just say I'm feelingsad.
Then give yourself compassionfor that emotion, because most
(19:30):
of us didn't get that as a child, and it's not your adult self
that's feeling sad, it's yoursubconscious six-year-old that's
feeling sad.
What would you do if yoursix-year-old self came up to you
and said I'm sad?
Would you say go drink a beer,go smoke a joint, get out of
here, scram you piece of junk.
No, you'd pick up that littleboy or girl and you'd say it's
going to be okay, I'll sit herewith you until you're not sad.
(19:51):
I love you.
You're a great human being.
That's what you need to do toyourself.
Then you throw in what can yoube grateful for?
Three or four things, no matterwhat situation you're in.
If you live in the UnitedStates, you got a thousand
things to be grateful for.
Then you ask yourself where isthis coming from?
Well, that's the work that wedo with our clients.
We help you identify it.
I did it with you, I've done itwith myself.
(20:13):
So anytime I feel a negativeemotion, it goes back to the
thought of I'm not enough.
No matter if it's on thepickleball court, on the golf
course with my girlfriend, withmy kids.
Anytime I feel a negativeemotion, it has nothing to do
with the actual situation,because the actual situation is
just an event.
I should just be seeing as anevent.
Why am I feeling emotions?
Because that little boy isgoing back to a time at six
(20:39):
years old and saying this makesme feel like that and bring it
in there.
So then I asked myself okay,every you have a thought that
creates an emotion.
That emotion creates a behavior, and that behavior often
reinforces the thought.
Why do we have this?
It's for survival.
The thought is I see a lion, Iget scared.
That's the emotion.
Blood pumps to my legs so I canrun.
But guess what?
(21:00):
Fear and anger that's kept usalive for six million years
destroys us now.
So we don't need that anymore,because we're not being chased
by lions.
So let's go back to the thought.
The thought creates everything.
It's the start of everything.
Every problem you have in yourlife right now is a thinking
problem.
If you don't believe it, you'retelling yourself an untruth.
So back to the joy regenerator,back to getting out of this
(21:22):
cycle.
I asked myself what am I believe?
What is the thought thatcreated the sadness?
And it's for me, it's always.
You're not enough.
So I say is that true?
No, it's not true.
I am more than enough.
Then I ask myself well, why am Igoing to stay in a sad state
based on the thought that's noteven true.
I'm not.
And then if you want to takethat one step further with your
(21:42):
spouse or significant other.
Corey, what you just said mademe feel really sad.
It's not your fault, but couldwe would you help me explore it
so that I can heal and we canbecome better connected, rather
than what I used to do, when myspouse would come to me and say
blah, blah, blah, I'd turn it onthem.
That would be the fight.
I'd say, well, you did this,this and this, and then I'd be
(22:04):
cold and distant.
For three days I had thisweight on my chest.
I hated it.
I couldn't control it.
But now I know why Because Ifelt like that little boy, that
if I am my authentic self and Ispeak up and I say I'm sorry, I
love you, then they would havepulled their love, just like my
dad did, and I would have gottenkicked out of the tribe.
You get kicked out of the tribe, you die.
(22:25):
So all of this shit, by the way, it's all survival.
None of this stuff is yourfault that you're going through
no-transcript.
But now you have a better wayand you understand.
(22:45):
It's not your fault.
It's likely something yourparents or caregivers did.
It's not their fault either.
They were doing the best theycould, and as an adult, you can
give that little kid inside ofyou everything that you didn't
get as a child.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Yeah, you know something else too, brad, that
after going through this processwith you and and going through
that, we did five sessions, Ibelieve, right and go after.
I got through that and I got.
I got to identify this.
I used the joy regenerator.
I did all these things.
Right, I started to just lookat people differently, right, I
started seeing that like, ifthey're acting a fool, right,
you're like man, what is I usedto be like?
This guy's an idiot idiot.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
What an asshole what an a-hole.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Whatever, yeah, all this stuff right, and now I'm
like man.
I wonder what that dude wentthrough when he was a kid.
Yes, right, like it's just atotally and I'm not perfect at
it, like I still mean, I stilljudged from time to time and do
all this stuff.
It's definitely helped me.
When I'm more you go back tothing right when I am aware and
I am practicing some of thesethings, I have a lot more
(23:39):
compassion for other people andthat helps in so many other
relationships, right?
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Because for years, you judge, judge, judge, just
like me, because if you'rejudging someone, you're judging
yourself.
You didn't feel good about it.
Now you're into compassion.
You're into curiosity.
Yeah, you want to talk aboutreal estate and getting a better
business.
Instead of judging youremployees, get curious and
figure out what's driving them.
Every single person's actionsis a call for love or a show of
(24:06):
love.
If your wife comes up, puts herarm around you and kisses you,
that's a show of love.
If your wife talks nasty to youand says you're a blah, blah,
blah, that's a call of call forlove.
She's sad, she's hurting.
We as human beings get torespond in only two ways in love
or in fear and ego, and you andme, for most of our lives,
probably responded in fear andego.
(24:27):
The more you respond in love toother people and yourself, the
better your life is going to be.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Yeah, for sure, and that's it's still.
I will say this to the audiencehere it is still a challenge to
remember this stuff.
That's why, listening topodcasts like this, listening to
Brad's podcast I listen to yourpodcast all the time, because I
need to constantly be hearingit, right, I need to be that
awareness.
I need that awareness all thetime.
Otherwise I go back to myreactive state of my.
You know, my subconscious kicksin the little computer running,
(24:54):
without anybody knowing it, itkicks in and all of a sudden I'm
back to you.
It's just this back and forth,just venom coming out of two,
two people's mouths.
And again, like, I can'tcontrol the other person, right,
I can only control myself andhow I react to something.
Right, amen, yeah, so what aresome?
What are some other tips andthings, brad, somebody could do?
If they're like and if theywanted to work with you, like,
(25:15):
how would this, how would thisprocess work, if somebody said
man, this sounds amazing.
I, I'm in a spot where I wantto be living my best life and I
don't want to be stuck in these,these negative loops all the
time.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
How did they go take the quiz?
First of all, because it's it's, it'll tell you so much.
And then on our site, you canbook a call.
Yvonne is my partner.
You'll likely have a call withher.
She's absolutely amazing, she'shelped a lot.
She's helped a lot of people inour group that you know, friends
of ours, so that that's thebest way.
Unlock limitless youcom.
Take the quiz book a call.
It's got you know.
(25:46):
It's a kind of a free 30 minutesession.
She's pretty amazing.
She actually I just will talkto you.
She'll actually go in and do a,an actual session with you.
That might unearth somethingthat's like wow, this is
interesting.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, yeah, she's great.
I remember we we did a free onewith we had some of our team
out at the mastermind and we hadjust like within 30 minutes I
think we had a lot of cryinggoing on for the team, but it
was unbelievable to see howquickly she could.
She could get us to unlock somethings.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
You had like three team members that had some
pretty big, big breakthroughsyeah, including you, I forget, I
forget what you had one there.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yeah, yeah, I think it was this whole high school
thing, like the whole buddiesthing.
I think that's where I unlockedthat one, you know.
But what's interesting, brad,as as we talk about, this, stuff
is going through that.
The process with you guys wasgreat.
I got to be more aware of someof these things that had
impacted me from years past.
But then, like justconsistently, like not even
(26:41):
consistently, just like, okay,now we're going to go have Devon
talk to me even again onanother session.
Boom, I unlocked another one.
Yeah, and I'll unlock anotherone.
And it's like where is thiscoming from?
Like this was 30 years ago orwhatever.
Why care about you know it's?
It's almost so silly.
Once you unlock it, you're likewhat in the world?
Why do I give a rip about that?
Or why am I still tellingmyself these things 30, 40 years
(27:04):
later?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Well, why are you?
It's very simple, it's allaround survival.
This goes, this goes back towe've been around for 6 million
years, I think, on this planet.
The brain has done an amazingjob of surviving.
How, by telling ourselvesstories like that.
When my dad was hitting me, Ihad to survive by saying why is
this happening?
Well, you must be bad.
So again, at 45, when you'reshutting down with your spouse,
(27:29):
it's just, it's a survival thing.
That's why we're doing it.
That's why none of when theguy's coming home and drinking
12 beers a night and being likeI don't know why I'm doing this,
it's all wrapped up in survival.
Now, that that may be too.
If someone did, if someone justheard that and didn't listen to
the first part, they're likewhat is this nut job talking
about?
But it is because the drinkingis keeping them from the painful
(27:50):
thing over here that that isgoing to get them kicked out of
the tribe.
And if you get kicked out ofthe tribe, you is going to get
them kicked out of the tribe.
And if you get kicked out ofthe tribe, you are alone and you
die.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
What about Brad?
For me, like mine was, my bigone was always kind of just like
I, I retreat, I'll go work.
That's my, that's my, uh,default mechanism.
What is the for those peopleout there that are like that,
like, oh, I'm working, so I'mgoing to go retreat to my office
and work all the time, is that?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
yeah, we.
We have a mutual friend thatmentioned names that that that
is an appointment time in hislife where he's our age but he
could retire.
He's done really well butdespite that, he and before
seeing me he was working thesecrazy hours and it was because
his dad was never around.
And if you're, if one of yourparents is never around, you got
to make sense of it and you donet.
You never say, oh, dad's outearning for the family, that's
(28:44):
great.
No, why isn't dad here?
It must be me, remember.
It comes back to me Dad's nothere because something's wrong
with me.
So a lot of people one of mygreat mentors, marissa Pierre,
and she's helped thousands andthousands of people over the
last 40 years.
She's like I've never metanyone who was a workaholic that
had high self-esteem.
So the work, the work thing, isjust a distraction from not
feeling enough.
And if I just keep working andkeep making more money, first
(29:08):
I'll distract myself from thesebad thoughts, but then, if I
have enough money, just like me,people will love me and I'll be
able to prove my worth.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Maybe that's why you and I connected so quickly,
cause we both have the same, thesame coping mechanism, right?
Or the same, the same beliefsystem, right, yeah, and it's
what's so true to.
It is, when you do that, joyregenerator.
For me.
It always came back to I'm notenough, like even having like my
kids right, this is a strugglethat you and I talked about when
we were working together.
It was like oh, I get sofrustrated with one of my kids,
right.
And like why am I so mad?
(29:34):
Like why does it bother me somuch that he's disrespectful,
right.
And then it would come down tolike the sadness ultimately of
like well, he must not respectme because I'm not a good dad,
or whatever.
It was Right.
And then it was like is thattrue?
No, it's not true, I'm a greatdad.
(29:55):
And then I was like tough spotget curious and get grateful.
Those are the two things Ialways try to remember, like be
curious, why am I feeling thisway?
And be grateful for everythingelse that I have.
I actually have a sign.
Carrie made me a sign, for wenow have it hanging up in our
closet back home.
So every time I walk in, I seebe grateful, be curious, right
it's?
Speaker 2 (30:11):
always.
That's beautiful.
There's one thing I told youand I think it's helpful for the
listeners to understand whenyour kid is misbehaving, kids
only misbehave for one reasonthey lack a connection with a
parent.
So what we often do is theymisbehave and then we get mad
because of how we feel inferiorand then we yell at them, we
scream, some people hit them,some people put them in timeouts
(30:36):
and shut the door and locktheir door or whatever.
That's the last thing that theyneed.
If you're doing that, pleasestop.
When your kid is misbehaving,go connect with them.
I told you this Take the kid,look at him in the eye, say I
love you.
What do you need right now,rather than further
disconnecting them?
We have all these juveniles indetention centers and stuff.
It's like why do they misbehavein the first place?
(30:57):
Probably because they came froma really rough family.
And what are we doing?
We're going to further isolatethem and disconnect them by kick
, putting them in a freakingdetention center.
It's like oh no, that's not.
That's not the way to do it.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Right yeah, that's society that we live in, though.
Right yeah, absolutely Well,brad, this has been awesome.
We always end with a funquestion, and since you have the
old Bucky connection here, Ithink I know where we're going
to go here.
So the last question we alwaysask is what's your favorite
Wisconsin tradition or place tovisit in the Wisco?
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Man, I didn't even know about brats until I went to
Wisconsin Getting up at eight.
I'm going to weave in a coupleof things Getting up at eight
o'clock in the morning to startdrinking beer before game day,
that started 11.
And having a brat around 10 or11 after three or four beers.
That's probably the best.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Not anymore, though Not now.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
No, I don't really do .
I mean, I drink occasionallywhen I'm on vacation, but I
don't, I don't mess with it much.
It's a it's bad business.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Yeah, yeah, it's absolutely Well, man, this has
been awesome, so I'm going toput those links I wrote them
down to the podcasts in the shownotes and to the quiz, for sure
.
And then you have the other one, the joy regenerator, on there
as well, so I can put that inthe show notes as well for
everybody in here, and foreverybody in here again, brad,
if you just had to sum it up inone sentence how does this
relate to real estate investingand everything we talked about
(32:14):
today?
Speaker 2 (32:21):
So I mean real estate , investing and everything in
life.
You're being driven by yoursubconscious thoughts, and your
subconscious thoughts 100% ofthe time hold stuff from when
you program them just like acomputer.
Most of the programming came inthe first 10 years of your life
.
So if you want to get better orstop negative behaviors, you've
got to go back and figure outwhat were those stories that you
told yourself when your brainwas reprogrammed, was programmed
(32:42):
and just reprogram.
It's literally that easy.
It happened in three hours withyou.
It happened in three hours.
It's usually between hour threeand four with our clients that
major life shifts happen.
You don't have to go to 30years of therapy Like I did.
You don't have to take drugs.
You don't have to know it'sit's.
It's really not that hard.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Yeah, I love it, man.
Well, audience, if you guyswant to get in touch with Brad,
I'll put all the information inthe show notes.
Like I said, go get in touchwith him If you're happy, if you
, if you feel like any of thisstuff resonated with you today,
if you're still listening toBrad's got to offer here, and I
think it's a it's alife-changing thing for sure.
Uh, you know we're only herefor a short time.
Why live in misery?
(33:21):
Why not live the best life youcan possibly live?
And getting past a lot of thatstuff that was programmed early
on is going to unlock a lot ofthings for you, similar to why,
uh, brad's uh business is unlocklimitless.
You right, it's.
It's really a great namebecause it sums up exactly what
Brad can do for you guys and hiscompany.
So, brad, any final thoughtsbefore we depart?
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Yeah, I mean.
A lot of entrepreneurs get intobusiness like I did, thinking
if I make this amount of money,I'm going to feel happy.
No amount of money can evergive you the feeling that you're
looking for.
And here's the secret Throughour coaching, we can get you to
that state that you think $10million is going to bring you
today.
And when you get in that statetoday, the chances of you making
the $10 million go through theroof, because you're not trying
(34:05):
to make money to prove yourworth.
You're now trying to make animpact, and when you try to make
an impact in people's lives,the money always comes.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Yeah, such a good point there and if you guys got
some value out of this show,share the show.
I've been saying on the lastfew episodes, the ripple effect
of you guys sharing this show ishuge.
It's not necessarily so we cangrow some huge audience right,
it's like what Brad's talkingabout so we can make an impact.
This could be the episodesomebody needs to hear to make a
profound change in their lifewhich is going to change their
kids' lives, which is going tochange their kids' lives, and so
(34:34):
on and so forth.
So share the show.
If you guys are looking foroff-market deals, like I said at
the start, go towiscotsadiscountpropertiescom.
If you're not ready to getdeals sent to you, just go on
there and hit contact us.
We'd love to have aconversation with you first and
get to know you a little bit,find out where you're at in your
journey in this real estatebusiness and see if we can help
connect you and guide.
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode
of the Wisconsin InvestorPodcast and, as usual, I have
another amazing guest that I'mgoing to be bringing you guys
today.
But before I do, as I do onevery episode, I'm going to give
you a little commercial todayfor Wisconsin Discount
Properties, who sponsors theshow.
And at Wisconsin DiscountProperties, every single week we
are putting off-market deals inyour inbox.
6 am in the inbox every singleweek and all of these deals we
(00:26):
don't put it out unless there'sa way to make money on the deals
.
Oftentimes we only get one ortwo offers on these deals and
somebody ends up making $40,000,$50,000 on these rips that
everybody else is passing on.
So don't be that guy.
If you're looking to get in onoff-market deals, go to
wisconsindiscountpropertiescom,put your information in and
you'll start getting emailsevery single week with
off-market deals.
(00:46):
With that, now let's get intotoday's episode, because we have
a lot to cover.
Today I have my good buddy, mrBrad Chandler, with me.
Brad, what's going on, bud?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Hey man Just living the dream.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Yeah, buddy, brad, tell us a little bit about tea.
Most of the time I'm bringingan investor in here that is in
our market, ripping deals, thatkind of thing.
But you are not in Wisconsin.
You don't do business typicallyin Wisconsin, but give us a
little background on.
You're the real estate side ofBrad Chandler and you do have
(01:18):
some Wisconsin connections.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I do.
I'm a badger, Go Bucky.
So in ninth grade I read a bookon how to buy real estate with
no money down by Robert Allen.
Got to meet him a couple ofyears ago at a mastermind.
Okay 40 something years and,yeah, I always knew I wanted to
do real estate.
So in late 2002, an investorbought my neighbor's house in
Vienna, virginia.
I went and talked to him.
He said, yeah, I buy houses at30% below market, fix them up
(01:43):
and resell them.
I'm like, whoa, I didn't knowyou could do that.
So I was like I'm going to makethis happen.
And I spent eight long monthsworking at night.
I had a newborn son.
I'd come home, I'd spend twohours with him, put him to sleep
.
I'd work from 8 to 11.
I'd work weekends.
I was pounding, counting we BuyHouses signs each month, each
week that went by, it was likeno deal, no deals, no deals.
(02:05):
But I kept showing up to thesereal estate meetings and hearing
all these success stories andI'm like, if they can do it, I
can do it.
And I just became more and morepersistent.
So in July of 2003, I bought myfirst house.
In July and August I bought sixhouses.
I quit my full-time job inOctober.
I came home and told the wifeat the time she's like are you
crazy?
We have a newborn son and I'vegot two kids.
(02:26):
I was like everything will befine.
And sure enough, 22 years later, everything has been fine.
We're not still married, buteverything's fine.
4,500 deals later.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Life is good 4,500 deals you've done in your
lifetime yeah, wow, brad, that'sincredible.
There's so much to unpack there.
But I also want to talk aboutso that's the Real Estate
Wisconsin connection.
You and I met in a mastermindgroup and I think we became fast
friends Maybe it was the Buckyand you, I don't know what it
was but I remember going to myfirst meeting and you were just
(02:59):
so nice to me and you were like,hey, let's go to lunch and
whatever.
We started talking.
And I'm like, hey, let's go tolunch and whatever.
We started talking.
And I'm like, who is this guyso nice, he's so awesome.
Then then we had some funnights together after after
hours and that sort of stuff.
And then I came back to one ofthe meetings I had I hadn't been
there for a little bit, causewe I think we had our daughter
or son or something like thatand I came back and you were
like up talking about thistransformation that you went
through.
And this is part of why Iwanted, because the real estate
(03:20):
stuff is awesome, right, that'swhy we do this podcast, that's
why we love doing this stuff.
But you and I both have darkthings that all of us do, right,
that can sometimes bog us down.
They can cause us not to liveour best life, and I wanted to
bring you on today to talk alittle bit about that
transformation and where youwere coming from, where you are
now, and now you've helped somany other people live their
(03:44):
best life.
But talk a little bit aboutthat transformation and journey
and what got you to want tochange.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah, I mean, let me say something first.
There's someone who's hearingthis, what you just said and
they're like, okay, I'm tuningout, this is silly, this doesn't
apply to me, but there's goingto be someone who listens to
this podcast and actuallylistens to the next 20 minutes
or so and takes a step in ajourney that will forever change
their lives and theirrelationships and their health
(04:09):
and their business and theirkids for generations to come.
This is how powerful this stuffis that I'm going to talk about
.
So four years ago I cannotbelieve it's been four years I
was trying to get my son helpfor anxiety and I was on a Zoom
call like this with aperformance coach and this
performance coach, withinminutes, said you have a tick
and I'm like what she's like.
(04:30):
Yeah, you blink like crazy whenyou talk about your childhood.
You may have some unresolvedshit from your childhood that's
actually affecting your son'sanxiety.
I'm like me no way, like I'vebeen a single dad for years.
I'm a great dad, no chance.
But okay, if you think so, I'llgo.
So she invited me out for aweekend in Park City, utah, with
her and her ex-Navy SEALhusband and brother.
(04:51):
In the course of a weekend,actually a three-hour session
laying in this bed in an Airbnbbedroom my life forever, forever
changed.
I came back a completelydifferent human being.
I mean completely Everythingchanged and I started telling
people about my journey andthere were people like my gosh,
like this is incredible, likeI'm learning more from you than
I am from my therapist.
So I started studying undersome of the world's best and for
(05:14):
the last two or three years, Ihave helped over a hundred
people like radically transformtheir lives and I'm going to
tell you like how it happened tome and I'm going to actually
tell you the secret to life herein like 30 seconds.
It's pretty profound.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Let's go, baby, let's go.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
If you're driving, pull over, grab a piece of paper
, a pen, or just re-listen tothis Every negative behavior you
have in your life, and we couldsit here for hours, but I'm
going to name, like some of thetop 10 that come to my head.
You shut down when your spousesays something that you don't
like.
You drink too much, you smoketoo much weed, you eat too much,
(05:49):
you smoke cigarettes.
You have depression, anxiety.
You work all the time.
Your mind's always racing, youcan't sleep, you're just always
on edge.
All of those negative behaviorsthat you've tried so hard to
change are actually your brain'ssolution.
It Something it thinks is worseover here.
I'm holding up my hand right,just something over here.
When you do the research, whenyou do the deep dive and you do
(06:14):
the work that I do with so manypeople, you find out that this
thing over here that's drivingthe negative behavior that you
can't stop, is nothing more thanan untruth.
That was formed between the agesof birth and 10 years old.
Why was it formed?
Because bad shit usuallyhappens to us.
Or we think, or our needsweren't being met.
So what do we do as kids?
(06:35):
We always internalize it.
In my case, dad would hit mewith a belt and make fun of me.
Well, if I was six years oldand I looked at dad and I said,
oh my God, dad's really effed up, right Guess what?
I'd be completely helpless.
So what does every kid do?
They take the brunt of it andthey say dad must be hitting me
and making fun of me becausethere's something wrong with me.
I'm a bad boy.
(06:56):
That way, all I have to do isbe a better boy and daddy will
love me.
So it helps us get through thattime, but it destroys our lives
.
For me, $9 million worth ofbusiness mistakes and five
mistakes, two marriages thatdidn't work, the use of weed and
alcohol on a daily basis, twokids with behavioral problems.
(07:17):
So let's get back to how weunwind this.
We go and we look at thesethings that are driving the
behavior.
They're nothing more thanuntruths.
We show the brain through aprocess, a scientific process
called neuroplasticity.
We actually rewrite the neuralpathway by showing the brain how
it's untrue, because your braincan't hold two conflicting
(07:37):
thoughts.
It's like a mismatch detector.
You can literally rewrite theneural pathway that's holding
those untruths.
When you do that, corey, whatdo you?
Speaker 1 (07:49):
think happens to the negative behavior when you
rewrite it.
Well then, it's going to goaway.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
It's going to go away .
It's got nothing to fuel it,because every single one of
those things that I mentionedyou were not born with.
There's not a person on thisplanet that was born with
depression, anxiety or an eatingdisorder or a drinking problem,
or a marijuana problem orshutting down.
It was all learned behavior.
So if you learned it, you canunlearn it, and that's what I've
done and my life has been.
These last four years have beenspectacular.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Yes, and I think for me, brad, when I met you and I
saw you, I was like you couldjust see a different person.
When you were up talking aboutthis at the mastermind group, I
was like, whoa, whatever Brad'son, I want it.
I want that juice.
And at the time, my wife and Iwere going through some tough
times.
We had young kids.
We're dealing with all that.
We've got this business thatwe're trying to grow.
(08:37):
There's so many stressors, andthen when you add the stressors
plus all these untruths thatwe've told ourselves over the
years, it just, it just spirals,right.
It was like we'd get in theseloops, man, like we'd get in
these loops of like, like we'dblame each other for certain
things.
And so those of you listeningout there, you're like, well,
how the hell does this relate toreal estate?
Right, like our business couldhave just gone, poof gone,
(08:58):
because we have to take care ofour home base first.
Not to mention like, how do Iinteract with employees that we
have?
Right, how do I interact withcustomers?
How do I do, I do, I.
Am I showing up every day as mybest version of myself?
No, not, when I'm in in theseloops of untruths that keep
happening over and over and overagain.
And that's why I think, likewhat you do, the work that you
(09:19):
do and the stuff that you do tohelp people, and just the stuff
you're consistently gettingbetter at for yourself, is so
important to unlock not onlybusiness growth but just
personal growth, because withoutthat you're going to be stuck
right.
You're never going to reachyour full potential if you're
stuck in these untruths right.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Well, corey, I mean $9 million worth of.
I made five mistakes that costme $9 million.
Some of those were related toreal estate.
I mean, it was almost allrelated to real estate.
So my false belief was that Ineed to make a bunch of money so
that people I can prove myworth, because I didn't feel
worthy.
So one of those nine mistakeswas a house that we bought where
(09:58):
we didn't even run a titlesearch before we bought it.
We ran the title search but wedidn't know how to read it.
We lost $930,000 on one housethat we bought in North
Arlington because we thought wecould subdivide it.
That was purely my limitingself-belief.
So if you're asking yourself,like, what does it have to do
with real estate?
If you have a company and youhave more than yourself, there's
(10:21):
a really good likelihood thatsomeone in your company or on
your team has these limitingbeliefs that's causing them to
drink or have a bad marriage oreat unhealthy.
Do you think that's affectingyour bottom line?
Of course it is.
So I've already worked withpeople in my company here at
Express Homebuyers that havesome of these issues that have
cleared them out, and they'redifferent people.
(10:42):
Do you think I'm getting moreout of them now than I did
before, of course, yeah for sure.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
It's such a.
It's such a big, a big thingfor so many people out there.
What were talk about some ofthose mistakes that you made?
So you talked about thesubdivision one.
What were some of the otherones that cost you big bucks?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
So I got involved in the we Buy Houses trademark
lawsuit that cost me $1.9million all over ego.
I mean I should have just beenlike, fine, I'll take down the
videos.
But I felt like I had to take astand because I think again
this is the amazing part aboutall this is your subconscious
brain controls 95% of your dailybehavior.
(11:19):
Your subconscious means youdon't really know what's driving
the behavior until you do thedeep work.
Only 5% is conscious.
So we've got all these humanbeings 7 billion people, or how
many billions Are we up to eightyet Eight billion.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I had to do a census thing today and I was trying to
figure out how to log back inand randomly saw the world
population 8.1 billion.
Okay, Okay.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Okay.
So there's 8 billion people and99.9% of them are walking
around drinking too much, eatingtoo much, in a pissed off state
and they don't even know what'sfueling it.
It's all in the subconsciousmind.
So the we Buy Houses lawsuitcosts us $1.9 million.
The other house cost us 900,000.
(12:02):
This within 60 days.
We bought the house, we boughta condo conversion in Adams
Morgan and we bought a row housenear the XM satellite
headquarters in DC and we'relike oh, we'll just put another.
Oh, square footage is X hundreddollars, we'll just put another
level on her.
We didn't think we had to go tozoning.
(12:22):
So those three deals the houseand the other two cost us $3
million and the condo conversiontook us over 10 years to
extract ourselves from.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Wow, how do you get out of it?
So.
So for me, when I was in the,in this looping phase and kind
of in this negative state, andI'd been like this I think for
years now in some aspects right,I always told you, brad, this
too, like some part of me feelslike the negative stuff that the
quote unquote trauma from mychildhood, which is like for me,
I always was like I don't havetrauma, I didn't get, I didn't
(12:51):
get beat, I didn't.
My parents were great, yeah,you know.
And then, and then you andAnnie at the time one of our
friends who you know you startedworking with, you know you guys
called it low T, I think, ornot.
Not low to me.
It's a little little T low T issomething else that also can
affect, also can affectperformance, right, we don't
want that.
But the little T stuff, right,it's like the uh.
(13:14):
For me it was like you knowsome friends of mine when we
were in high school, like theyall went to some cottage and
they didn't invite me and wewere all close and I was like
what the heck?
Right, I'm.
Now all of a sudden, I tellmyself a story about that for
the rest of my life, literallyfor the rest of my life, and I
don't ever think about it.
It's just unconsciously playingin the background of certain
things, right, but and I don'teven know where I was going with
(13:34):
this, but I just you weresaying how do you uncover?
You were saying how do you yeah,so if somebody's stuck in this
loop, somebody's stuck in likethis just consistent behavior.
For me the catalyst to get meout was like I noticed there was
a pattern of you know, my wifeand I's consistently like every
six months we'd get stuck inthis like just negative loop,
right, and all of a sudden Ibecame aware I'm like it keeps
(13:55):
happening.
It's gotta be something with me, all right.
But then I saw you talkingabout it.
I said okay, whatever he's got,I want that.
But for some people, maybe thisis the podcast that they're
listening to that's going tohelp them out or whatever.
But what are some ways peoplecan start to start to make
changes or start to make thatfirst step, to start making a
big difference in their life andstart getting over?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
some awesome questions.
So so every all change beginswith awareness.
You have to have awareness.
So you get awareness byfiguring out if you have some of
these subconscious things.
How do you do that?
I can tell you in three minuteshow to do it.
If you go to our website,unlock, let Melissa youcom uh
forward slash quiz.
Go take the, the, the 30, thethree minute 12 question,
(14:36):
self-love quiz.
12-question self-love quiz.
If you lack self-love or youhave mild self-love, that's a
surefire way of knowing that youhave some of these limiting
beliefs.
So change usually comes fromdesperation or inspiration.
Well, desperation is you'reabout to get divorced.
I've had a lot of clients cometo me where they're about to get
divorced, or their weight's outof control, or they smoke or
drink too much, or they've gotdepression or anxiety.
(14:57):
Hopefully the show the secondis inspiration, desperation or
inspiration.
Hopefully you're going to beinspired by my story and Corey's
story to take the first step.
So you take the first step byfiguring out do you have
something in your past?
And then you go get help.
There's on our website andother resources.
(15:18):
We have this thing called theJoy Regenerator that actually
teaches you step-by-step, whenyou're in this rut, how to get
out of it because it never hasto do with the actual situation,
a relationship.
The problem in a relationshipis it's never the actual
relationship, as you have cometo find, corey, with your wife
and you.
It has to do all with therelationship that each
individual has with themselves.
(15:39):
So if your marriage sucks, ifyour relationship with your kids
suck, or your friends or yourbusiness associates, it is going
to be healed by you fixing the.
You've got to always fix therelationship that you have with
yourself and you're like well,why would I have a bad
relationship with myself?
Well, let's go back to the story.
When my dad's hitting me with abelt and making fun of me, I'm
(16:00):
telling myself I'm no good, I'mdisconnecting from the real
human being who God made me tobe, because I feel like when I'm
the real human being that I wasmeant to be, what happens to me
?
I get shame and physicalviolence and embarrassment
placed upon me.
So I don't like this guy.
I'm going to be someone else,and most people spend their
(16:21):
entire lives with this mask, ontrying to be someone who they're
not really.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Yeah, it's so true.
And you know I think you saidsomething earlier, brad, or
something you know in ourconversations nobody came out of
the womb with any of this stuff, right?
Nobody.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Like it's all learned .
It's all learned behavior right.
Don't believe the bullshit aboutlike serotonin levels and
dopamine levels in your brainare causing depression.
It's all a bunch of crap.
That's all crap just to sellyou drugs.
100 million Americans right now, as we speak, are on an
antidepressant or anti-anxietydrug.
Are you freaking, kidding me?
(16:52):
Well, a third of the population.
I had a doctor on my podcast.
I have a podcast called how toBe Happier for Entrepreneurs
Great podcast, by the way, thankyou.
This doctor came on and I saidto him how many people do you
think should be on drugs ofthose hundred million people?
His answer was zero, zero.
They don't freaking work.
Now, do they work for somepeople that are in such a state
(17:15):
that they came and start thehealing process?
Yes, but in general, they're,they're, they're, they're not
effective yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
When I was in, when I was in my first, one of my
first big boy sales jobs.
Growing up out of college, uh,I got on anti-anxiety stuff and
it did it to get off that stuff.
They don't tell you that whenyou go on it, but to try to get
off of it.
Ooh, that was nasty, it'shighly addictive.
Oh xanax we're back now.
(17:55):
Okay, I lost you for a second,but yes, xanax, where I lost you
, highly addictive, yeah, yeah,that's crazy.
So, brad, talk about one of thetools that you use, and maybe
you mentioned this before, butone of the things you mentioned,
uh, or that has helped me a lot, is identifying, like when I'm
in a situation, I identify itand then I end with gratitude.
(18:16):
Can you talk a little bit aboutthat process of like now, for
as you go through it, it becomesquicker and quicker as you
practice it.
But talk a little bit aboutthat.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Yeah, what used to take me days with my former
marriages now takes me minutesor sometimes seconds.
I mean, this is the basis ofthe joy regenerator.
So anytime you feel a negativeemotion, you are in a fight or
flight state and, by the way,you can get in that state by
talking negatively to yourself.
So if you're talking negativelyto yourself, stop it, because
your brain actually doesn't knowthe difference between you or a
stranger.
It releases cortisol.
(18:45):
Cortisol is a inflammatory.
Most diseases and autoimmuneand cancer's basis is in
inflammation.
So stop talking negatively toyourself.
So if you feel a negativeemotion, you're in fight or
flight, which means you're notin the present.
So just do a breathing exercise, whatever's comfortable for you
.
Breathe, you know the box, navyseal box breathing In for three
(19:07):
or four seconds, hold for threeor four seconds, blow out for
three or four seconds, hold andrepeat.
Now that you are hopefullypresent, you're going to
identify the emotion that you'refeeling.
I'm feeling sad.
If you're angry, there'susually, as Eckhart Tolle says,
there's always almost alwaysunderlying sadness or unresolved
hurt.
So let's just say I'm feelingsad.
Then give yourself compassionfor that emotion, because most
(19:30):
of us didn't get that as a child, and it's not your adult self
that's feeling sad, it's yoursubconscious six-year-old that's
feeling sad.
What would you do if yoursix-year-old self came up to you
and said I'm sad?
Would you say go drink a beer,go smoke a joint, get out of
here, scram you piece of junk.
No, you'd pick up that littleboy or girl and you'd say it's
going to be okay, I'll sit herewith you until you're not sad.
(19:51):
I love you.
You're a great human being.
That's what you need to do toyourself.
Then you throw in what can yoube grateful for?
Three or four things, no matterwhat situation you're in.
If you live in the UnitedStates, you got a thousand
things to be grateful for.
Then you ask yourself where isthis coming from?
Well, that's the work that wedo with our clients.
We help you identify it.
I did it with you, I've done itwith myself.
(20:13):
So anytime I feel a negativeemotion, it goes back to the
thought of I'm not enough.
No matter if it's on thepickleball court, on the golf
course with my girlfriend, withmy kids.
Anytime I feel a negativeemotion, it has nothing to do
with the actual situation,because the actual situation is
just an event.
I should just be seeing as anevent.
Why am I feeling emotions?
Because that little boy isgoing back to a time at six
(20:39):
years old and saying this makesme feel like that and bring it
in there.
So then I asked myself okay,every you have a thought that
creates an emotion.
That emotion creates a behavior, and that behavior often
reinforces the thought.
Why do we have this?
It's for survival.
The thought is I see a lion, Iget scared.
That's the emotion.
Blood pumps to my legs so I canrun.
But guess what?
(21:00):
Fear and anger that's kept usalive for six million years
destroys us now.
So we don't need that anymore,because we're not being chased
by lions.
So let's go back to the thought.
The thought creates everything.
It's the start of everything.
Every problem you have in yourlife right now is a thinking
problem.
If you don't believe it, you'retelling yourself an untruth.
So back to the joy regenerator,back to getting out of this
(21:22):
cycle.
I asked myself what am I believe?
What is the thought thatcreated the sadness?
And it's for me, it's always.
You're not enough.
So I say is that true?
No, it's not true.
I am more than enough.
Then I ask myself well, why am Igoing to stay in a sad state
based on the thought that's noteven true.
I'm not.
And then if you want to takethat one step further with your
(21:42):
spouse or significant other.
Corey, what you just said mademe feel really sad.
It's not your fault, but couldwe would you help me explore it
so that I can heal and we canbecome better connected, rather
than what I used to do, when myspouse would come to me and say
blah, blah, blah, I'd turn it onthem.
That would be the fight.
I'd say, well, you did this,this and this, and then I'd be
(22:04):
cold and distant.
For three days I had thisweight on my chest.
I hated it.
I couldn't control it.
But now I know why Because Ifelt like that little boy, that
if I am my authentic self and Ispeak up and I say I'm sorry, I
love you, then they would havepulled their love, just like my
dad did, and I would have gottenkicked out of the tribe.
You get kicked out of the tribe, you die.
(22:25):
So all of this shit, by the way, it's all survival.
None of this stuff is yourfault that you're going through
no-transcript.
But now you have a better wayand you understand.
(22:45):
It's not your fault.
It's likely something yourparents or caregivers did.
It's not their fault either.
They were doing the best theycould, and as an adult, you can
give that little kid inside ofyou everything that you didn't
get as a child.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Yeah, you know something else too, brad, that
after going through this processwith you and and going through
that, we did five sessions, Ibelieve, right and go after.
I got through that and I got.
I got to identify this.
I used the joy regenerator.
I did all these things.
Right, I started to just lookat people differently, right, I
started seeing that like, ifthey're acting a fool, right,
you're like man, what is I usedto be like?
This guy's an idiot idiot.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
What an asshole what an a-hole.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Whatever, yeah, all this stuff right, and now I'm
like man.
I wonder what that dude wentthrough when he was a kid.
Yes, right, like it's just atotally and I'm not perfect at
it, like I still mean, I stilljudged from time to time and do
all this stuff.
It's definitely helped me.
When I'm more you go back tothing right when I am aware and
I am practicing some of thesethings, I have a lot more
(23:39):
compassion for other people andthat helps in so many other
relationships, right?
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Because for years, you judge, judge, judge, just
like me, because if you'rejudging someone, you're judging
yourself.
You didn't feel good about it.
Now you're into compassion.
You're into curiosity.
Yeah, you want to talk aboutreal estate and getting a better
business.
Instead of judging youremployees, get curious and
figure out what's driving them.
Every single person's actionsis a call for love or a show of
(24:06):
love.
If your wife comes up, puts herarm around you and kisses you,
that's a show of love.
If your wife talks nasty to youand says you're a blah, blah,
blah, that's a call of call forlove.
She's sad, she's hurting.
We as human beings get torespond in only two ways in love
or in fear and ego, and you andme, for most of our lives,
probably responded in fear andego.
(24:27):
The more you respond in love toother people and yourself, the
better your life is going to be.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Yeah, for sure, and that's it's still.
I will say this to the audiencehere it is still a challenge to
remember this stuff.
That's why, listening topodcasts like this, listening to
Brad's podcast I listen to yourpodcast all the time, because I
need to constantly be hearingit, right, I need to be that
awareness.
I need that awareness all thetime.
Otherwise I go back to myreactive state of my.
You know, my subconscious kicksin the little computer running,
(24:54):
without anybody knowing it, itkicks in and all of a sudden I'm
back to you.
It's just this back and forth,just venom coming out of two,
two people's mouths.
And again, like, I can'tcontrol the other person, right,
I can only control myself andhow I react to something.
Right, amen, yeah, so what aresome?
What are some other tips andthings, brad, somebody could do?
If they're like and if theywanted to work with you, like,
(25:15):
how would this, how would thisprocess work, if somebody said
man, this sounds amazing.
I, I'm in a spot where I wantto be living my best life and I
don't want to be stuck in these,these negative loops all the
time.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
How did they go take the quiz?
First of all, because it's it's, it'll tell you so much.
And then on our site, you canbook a call.
Yvonne is my partner.
You'll likely have a call withher.
She's absolutely amazing, she'shelped a lot.
She's helped a lot of people inour group that you know, friends
of ours, so that that's thebest way.
Unlock limitless youcom.
Take the quiz book a call.
It's got you know.
(25:46):
It's a kind of a free 30 minutesession.
She's pretty amazing.
She actually I just will talkto you.
She'll actually go in and do a,an actual session with you.
That might unearth somethingthat's like wow, this is
interesting.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, yeah, she's great.
I remember we we did a free onewith we had some of our team
out at the mastermind and we hadjust like within 30 minutes I
think we had a lot of cryinggoing on for the team, but it
was unbelievable to see howquickly she could.
She could get us to unlock somethings.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
You had like three team members that had some
pretty big, big breakthroughsyeah, including you, I forget, I
forget what you had one there.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yeah, yeah, I think it was this whole high school
thing, like the whole buddiesthing.
I think that's where I unlockedthat one, you know.
But what's interesting, brad,as as we talk about, this, stuff
is going through that.
The process with you guys wasgreat.
I got to be more aware of someof these things that had
impacted me from years past.
But then, like justconsistently, like not even
(26:41):
consistently, just like, okay,now we're going to go have Devon
talk to me even again onanother session.
Boom, I unlocked another one.
Yeah, and I'll unlock anotherone.
And it's like where is thiscoming from?
Like this was 30 years ago orwhatever.
Why care about you know it's?
It's almost so silly.
Once you unlock it, you're likewhat in the world?
Why do I give a rip about that?
Or why am I still tellingmyself these things 30, 40 years
(27:04):
later?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Well, why are you?
It's very simple, it's allaround survival.
This goes, this goes back towe've been around for 6 million
years, I think, on this planet.
The brain has done an amazingjob of surviving.
How, by telling ourselvesstories like that.
When my dad was hitting me, Ihad to survive by saying why is
this happening?
Well, you must be bad.
So again, at 45, when you'reshutting down with your spouse,
(27:29):
it's just, it's a survival thing.
That's why we're doing it.
That's why none of when theguy's coming home and drinking
12 beers a night and being likeI don't know why I'm doing this,
it's all wrapped up in survival.
Now, that that may be too.
If someone did, if someone justheard that and didn't listen to
the first part, they're likewhat is this nut job talking
about?
But it is because the drinkingis keeping them from the painful
(27:50):
thing over here that that isgoing to get them kicked out of
the tribe.
And if you get kicked out ofthe tribe, you is going to get
them kicked out of the tribe.
And if you get kicked out ofthe tribe, you are alone and you
die.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
What about Brad?
For me, like mine was, my bigone was always kind of just like
I, I retreat, I'll go work.
That's my, that's my, uh,default mechanism.
What is the for those peopleout there that are like that,
like, oh, I'm working, so I'mgoing to go retreat to my office
and work all the time, is that?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
yeah, we.
We have a mutual friend thatmentioned names that that that
is an appointment time in hislife where he's our age but he
could retire.
He's done really well butdespite that, he and before
seeing me he was working thesecrazy hours and it was because
his dad was never around.
And if you're, if one of yourparents is never around, you got
to make sense of it and you donet.
You never say, oh, dad's outearning for the family, that's
(28:44):
great.
No, why isn't dad here?
It must be me, remember.
It comes back to me Dad's nothere because something's wrong
with me.
So a lot of people one of mygreat mentors, marissa Pierre,
and she's helped thousands andthousands of people over the
last 40 years.
She's like I've never metanyone who was a workaholic that
had high self-esteem.
So the work, the work thing, isjust a distraction from not
feeling enough.
And if I just keep working andkeep making more money, first
(29:08):
I'll distract myself from thesebad thoughts, but then, if I
have enough money, just like me,people will love me and I'll be
able to prove my worth.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Maybe that's why you and I connected so quickly,
cause we both have the same, thesame coping mechanism, right?
Or the same, the same beliefsystem, right, yeah, and it's
what's so true to.
It is, when you do that, joyregenerator.
For me.
It always came back to I'm notenough, like even having like my
kids right, this is a strugglethat you and I talked about when
we were working together.
It was like oh, I get sofrustrated with one of my kids,
right.
And like why am I so mad?
(29:34):
Like why does it bother me somuch that he's disrespectful,
right.
And then it would come down tolike the sadness ultimately of
like well, he must not respectme because I'm not a good dad,
or whatever.
It was Right.
And then it was like is thattrue?
No, it's not true, I'm a greatdad.
(29:55):
And then I was like tough spotget curious and get grateful.
Those are the two things Ialways try to remember, like be
curious, why am I feeling thisway?
And be grateful for everythingelse that I have.
I actually have a sign.
Carrie made me a sign, for wenow have it hanging up in our
closet back home.
So every time I walk in, I seebe grateful, be curious, right
it's?
Speaker 2 (30:11):
always.
That's beautiful.
There's one thing I told youand I think it's helpful for the
listeners to understand whenyour kid is misbehaving, kids
only misbehave for one reasonthey lack a connection with a
parent.
So what we often do is theymisbehave and then we get mad
because of how we feel inferiorand then we yell at them, we
scream, some people hit them,some people put them in timeouts
(30:36):
and shut the door and locktheir door or whatever.
That's the last thing that theyneed.
If you're doing that, pleasestop.
When your kid is misbehaving,go connect with them.
I told you this Take the kid,look at him in the eye, say I
love you.
What do you need right now,rather than further
disconnecting them?
We have all these juveniles indetention centers and stuff.
It's like why do they misbehavein the first place?
(30:57):
Probably because they came froma really rough family.
And what are we doing?
We're going to further isolatethem and disconnect them by kick
, putting them in a freakingdetention center.
It's like oh no, that's not.
That's not the way to do it.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Right yeah, that's society that we live in, though.
Right yeah, absolutely Well,brad, this has been awesome.
We always end with a funquestion, and since you have the
old Bucky connection here, Ithink I know where we're going
to go here.
So the last question we alwaysask is what's your favorite
Wisconsin tradition or place tovisit in the Wisco?
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Man, I didn't even know about brats until I went to
Wisconsin Getting up at eight.
I'm going to weave in a coupleof things Getting up at eight
o'clock in the morning to startdrinking beer before game day,
that started 11.
And having a brat around 10 or11 after three or four beers.
That's probably the best.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Not anymore, though Not now.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
No, I don't really do .
I mean, I drink occasionallywhen I'm on vacation, but I
don't, I don't mess with it much.
It's a it's bad business.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Yeah, yeah, it's absolutely Well, man, this has
been awesome, so I'm going toput those links I wrote them
down to the podcasts in the shownotes and to the quiz, for sure
.
And then you have the other one, the joy regenerator, on there
as well, so I can put that inthe show notes as well for
everybody in here, and foreverybody in here again, brad,
if you just had to sum it up inone sentence how does this
relate to real estate investingand everything we talked about
(32:14):
today?
Speaker 2 (32:21):
So I mean real estate , investing and everything in
life.
You're being driven by yoursubconscious thoughts, and your
subconscious thoughts 100% ofthe time hold stuff from when
you program them just like acomputer.
Most of the programming came inthe first 10 years of your life
.
So if you want to get better orstop negative behaviors, you've
got to go back and figure outwhat were those stories that you
told yourself when your brainwas reprogrammed, was programmed
(32:42):
and just reprogram.
It's literally that easy.
It happened in three hours withyou.
It happened in three hours.
It's usually between hour threeand four with our clients that
major life shifts happen.
You don't have to go to 30years of therapy Like I did.
You don't have to take drugs.
You don't have to know it'sit's.
It's really not that hard.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Yeah, I love it, man.
Well, audience, if you guyswant to get in touch with Brad,
I'll put all the information inthe show notes.
Like I said, go get in touchwith him If you're happy, if you
, if you feel like any of thisstuff resonated with you today,
if you're still listening toBrad's got to offer here, and I
think it's a it's alife-changing thing for sure.
Uh, you know we're only herefor a short time.
Why live in misery?
(33:21):
Why not live the best life youcan possibly live?
And getting past a lot of thatstuff that was programmed early
on is going to unlock a lot ofthings for you, similar to why,
uh, brad's uh business is unlocklimitless.
You right, it's.
It's really a great namebecause it sums up exactly what
Brad can do for you guys and hiscompany.
So, brad, any final thoughtsbefore we depart?
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Yeah, I mean.
A lot of entrepreneurs get intobusiness like I did, thinking
if I make this amount of money,I'm going to feel happy.
No amount of money can evergive you the feeling that you're
looking for.
And here's the secret Throughour coaching, we can get you to
that state that you think $10million is going to bring you
today.
And when you get in that statetoday, the chances of you making
the $10 million go through theroof, because you're not trying
(34:05):
to make money to prove yourworth.
You're now trying to make animpact, and when you try to make
an impact in people's lives,the money always comes.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Yeah, such a good point there and if you guys got
some value out of this show,share the show.
I've been saying on the lastfew episodes, the ripple effect
of you guys sharing this show ishuge.
It's not necessarily so we cangrow some huge audience right,
it's like what Brad's talkingabout so we can make an impact.
This could be the episodesomebody needs to hear to make a
profound change in their lifewhich is going to change their
kids' lives, which is going tochange their kids' lives, and so
(34:34):
on and so forth.
So share the show.
If you guys are looking foroff-market deals, like I said at
the start, go towiscotsadiscountpropertiescom.
If you're not ready to getdeals sent to you, just go on
there and hit contact us.
We'd love to have aconversation with you first and
get to know you a little bit,find out where you're at in your
journey in this real estatebusiness and see if we can help
connect you and guide.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.