Therapy, Coaching & Dreams
Therapy, Coaching & Dreams is cohosted by Dr. Jim Shalley and Dr. Selden Dee Kelley III, a therapist and a coach who love talking about how inner work can help you live with more awareness, purpose and freedom.
Episodes
We start with a listener question about how meds can affect REM sleep, dream recall, and the sheer intensity of what you see at night. Then we get practical: even if a dream is amplified by chemistry or disrupted sleep patterns, it can still be a useful tool for self-awareness, emotional processing, and personal growth.
We bring back our STIR personality framework and use it as a map for dream analysis: Sta...
A desert trail that stretches impossibly long. A lodge with a railing that feels too low to trust. Then a wave runner hovering above dark shapes as the ocean starts to churn. We take a co-host’s vivid New Year’s dream and slow it down scene by scene to show how Dream Work can become practical therapy and coaching, not mystical guesswork.
We start with a key move in Dream Work: treating the people in a drea...
We take one dream and dig deep into the imagery and symbolism of the dreamer’s psyche. We use the STIR model and talk about the dynamic versus static energies. The possibilities unfold and provide multiple pathways for exploration and reflection. This episode is about one person’s dream, but it shows the possibilities available when one decides to examine the inner life.
You can connect with the cohosts through their...
A lot of podcasts ask you to trust the hosts. We’d rather try to earn it by telling you where we come from and what shaped the lens we use when we talk about therapy, coaching, and dreams.
We start with our winding educational paths, from seminary and clinical psychology to industrial organizational psychology and an MBA, and why those choices still matter in the room with real people. Along the way, we nam...
Dreams are one of the most misunderstood mental health tools we all have at our access. The biggest myth we hear is also the simplest: “I never dream.” We unpack why that’s almost never true, what sleep science says about dreaming, and how our brains keep monitoring the world at night to protect us. When a culture treats dreams as meaningless, we learn to tune them out, and dream recall drops even though the dreamin...
Your mind doesn’t clock out when you do. It goes to work overnight, sorting stress, rehearsing choices, and resetting emotions so you can meet tomorrow with more capacity. We dig into how that process actually feels—starting with a simple dream about buying a trailer and the hidden worries it carried—and then open a vivid story about a 100‑foot pole, a dropped paint bucket, and the kind of repeating dream that wakes...
What if your dreams aren’t random at all but a built-in system for emotional reset, memory sorting, and future rehearsal? We kick off season two by moving dreams from “weird night stories” to a reliable toolkit for self-awareness, drawing on neuroscience and Jungian-informed coaching to make sense of vivid scenes, recurring figures, and those “epic” marathons that leave you buzzing.
We unpack why so many pe...
What if your biggest arguments, stalled projects, and late-night worries aren’t personal failures, but energy mismatches you can learn to navigate? We break down the STIR model—Stabilizer, Transformer, Initiator, Responder—through two lenses: dynamic vs static energy and masculine vs feminine expression.
We dig into competing anxieties that fuel conflict: one partner wants comfort while the other rushes to...
We dig into why simple questions can feel like attacks, how to pause before defenses take over, and what healthy masculine and feminine responses sound like when tensions rise. We connect the dots between conflict, self-love for responders, and dreams that process the emotions we ignore by day.
• how interpretation turns questions into accusations
• the pause that makes space for truth and choice
• ...
We explore how mental health concerns intersect with the STIR model and show how balance, flexible thinking, and self-awareness transform relationships. From early dating green flags to parenting stalemates, we lay out practical steps to move toward the middle and reduce projection.
We walk through real-world moments—early dating, high-conflict parenting, and long-term partnership—to show how to spot green ...
We explore how addictive behaviors can be signals from unbalanced inner energies, how to hear what the unconscious is asking for, and why old issues resurface even after insight. We close with a grounded view of integration, spiritual connection, and practical next steps that honor both emotion and choice.
• masculine and feminine energies across dynamic and static styles
• addiction as unconscious copi...
We take listener questions on how to “preempt” midlife turmoil, why flexible thinking beats rumination, and what healthy self-sufficiency looks like when you still need people. Along the way we use our four-quadrant model to reframe boundaries, create validation, and speak your partner’s language.
• difference between liking change and flexible thinking
• turning beliefs back into opinions to reopen opt...
We explore the STIR framework and answer a listener’s question about whether the goal is to stand in the center of all four styles, or to use each style wisely. We map how to grow in a resistant environment, when leaving is healthy, and how to set boundaries without turning conflict into a scorecard.
• STIR overview and the four styles
• Standing in the middle versus using what you need when you need it...
We open our archive of listener questions to explore how to give honest feedback without a therapy license, how to manage triggers with self-awareness, and how parents can raise more integrated, emotionally grounded kids. We use simple tools like permission, curiosity, and active listening, then wrestle with school competition, adolescent individuation, and the culture’s uneasy relationship with accountability.
...
What if your stress, your arguments, and your burnout all point to one simple mismatch—using the right energy at the wrong time? We explore a Jungian-informed model of four energies—Stabilizer, Transformer, Initiator, Responder (STIR)—and show how balancing them reduces conflict, eases burnout, and strengthens relationships. Real client stories ground the ideas in clear steps you can use.
We start with the Stabilizer...
Ever catch yourself asking, “Is anybody thirsty?” when you really mean, “I am thirsty”? That’s projection. Projection is the way we see our denied traits, desires, needs, and fears in other people. In this episode we dig into projection with clear language, real stories, and actionable tools you can use the next time a small ask turns into a big fight.
We break down how projection can make our attraction to...
The hardest part of growing up isn’t getting older—it’s seeing yourself clearly. We start with a raw reaction to a public figure’s killing and follow the thread into how midlife shakes our beliefs, our relationships, and the stories we tell about who we are. That shift often arrives as discomfort: a spouse says “I’m unhappy,” a job that once thrilled now numbs, a faith you inherited asks to be re-examined. Instead o...
This episode considers the importance of integrating the various personality styles. We explore the sobering shift from rescue fantasies to self-responsibility and how flexible thinking builds emotional safety and connection. Along the way, we unpack the minimized feminine voice, creativity as a practice, and why humor often shows up as armor.
• accepting that no one will rescue us
• hearing the feminin...
A single line sparked the conversation: the life you want is on the other side of the work you’re avoiding. From that starting point, we unpack what actually turns insight into movement and why so many smart plans stall before they start. We talk candidly about initiating energy—the force that begins things—and how non‑initiators can find it without trying to become someone they’re not, while initiators learn to tem...
Ambition can build bridges or burn them—so how do you keep the fire without scorching your team or your relationships? We dive into the Initiator, a personality expression defined by dynamic masculine energy: goal-first, action-forward, and relentlessly independent. Think founders, crisis leaders, and the people who move when everyone else hesitates. We unpack the real strengths—decisiveness, clarity, and momentum—a...
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