November 16, 2025 • 29 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The following is a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed. The following program is sponsored by New
York Priority Medical Care. Now it's time for the Laws
of Your Money, a weekly call in show with legal
tips to help you protect your money. Here's your host
(00:23):
and Margaret Caroza.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello, and welcome to the Laws of your Money. This
is a program dedicated to protecting you from legal and
financial mayhem when it comes to personal finance. I believe
the single most important thing is to be legally protected,
(00:47):
because what does it matter how brilliantly I've saved and
invested if there's a greater than forty percent chance of
losing assets to a long term illness in explosive breakup taxes,
capital gains taxes, estate taxes, not to mention ordinary lawsuits.
(01:11):
We are living in the most litigious society that the
world has ever known, so it is incumbent upon us
to become educated and protect what we have for our
loved ones, to keep strangers hands out of our pockets.
(01:33):
I am asset protection attorney and Margaret Caroza joined today
by my esteemed colleague, co host and friend, the Reverend
Paul Slatcus. Welcome back to the program.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Paul, Hello, Anne, happy to be back.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Great.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I thought it was very appropriate that you be here
today because I have a very exciting announcement. My new book,
The Smart Woman's Guide to Building and Protecting Wealth is
now available for pre order on Amazon. I encourage you
(02:15):
go on to my Instagram at my lawyer and you can.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
See the cover reveal. The cover was a little.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Bit of a mixed review. Some people said I should
have been smiling more.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
What do you think, Paul, Well, you know that's a combination.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
I think it's fine. We're talking serious stuff.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
Well, the Well said it all there.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
But the well is that you're both. It's a serious
and joyous because you help people.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
Well, you know what this is.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
I wish I didn't have to write it, but way
back in time, twenty eight year old and Margaret Carosa
was up to her eye balls in law school loans
and credit card debt. And this is really the blueprint
that I wish I had at that point as I
(03:13):
started to slowly climb out from under a mountain of
debt and get my head screwed on straight financially. So
what I've done I retraced my steps and I think
put together a roadmap that anyone can use at any.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Point on their personal journey.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
In addition to my story, I share the stories of
my more than twenty thousand estate planning clients. I have
seen folks go from rags to riches and riches to rags,
and I have concluded that money problems are not solved
(04:03):
by money alone. If that were the case, then we
would have no lotto winners who blow through it all
in record time. There's a lot more at play than
the amount of money that you're taking in. And a
prime example, one of you know, the many, many stories,
(04:25):
instructive stories, real life stories, had to do with a
new couple who came in to see me for a
state planning a retired cop and retired nurse. You know,
they were great earners through their lives, but certainly not
eye popping salaries, right, and they were in very good
(04:50):
shape financially. And one of the first questions I ask
new clients as it relates to their children, are you
helping any of your children financially? And they said, yes,
we help one of our sons. So I asked, is
he unable to work? No, he works, and guess what
(05:13):
he did for a living. I don't know, a neurosurgeon.
And his parents told me he was making seven hundred
thousand dollars a year. Him they're helping him financially because,
according to them, he was married to a spendaholic and
(05:34):
they belonged to a country club and everyone has fancy
new least cars, and you know, this guy was really
out over his skis, and you know, a little bit
shame on him that he was asking his retired parents
to to help him. But that's really an example of
(05:57):
when we are just spending, spending, spending, it's a vortex
and no amount of money is inexhaustible. It's funny that
the number two New Year's resolution is getting a hold
of our finances, but far too few of us actually
(06:22):
do that. And I think it's super important to start
this well before the New Year, and as we're embarking
upon the holiday season, I want everyone to re examine
their gift giving thoughts heading into the holidays. I've shared
(06:42):
the story before that my sister and I years ago,
to stop the overspending madness, vowed that we would simply
give each other a book for the holidays, a book
that resonated with us naturally. This holiday season, I do
(07:03):
hope folks will think about making a gift of my
new book, The Smart Woman's Guide to Building and Protecting
Wealth to a loved one that they want to help
get them to the next level financially. One of the
things that we talk about in the book is generous actions,
(07:28):
and heading into the holidays, I encourage everyone, instead of
a new cashmir sweater, think about going on to one
of these great websites, World Vision or hypher International to
buy an animal for a poor family and a developing
(07:50):
country to help them.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
You know, produce milk and eggs that.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
They can you know, make a livelihood with.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
That's a beautiful thing, Anne, and you always are concerned
about people doing the right thing in this world. By
far so these generous actions. Are there some other examples
of what people can do well.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I look back into my first experience with generosity. As
everyone has heard me mention before, I did not have
all the money in the world growing up. I know
my kids are sick of hearing me say that, as
they're you know, using all of the paper towel in
the world. When I was nine, my school was collecting
(08:39):
items for a food drive around the holidays. So I
went into our pantry and I looked for something, admittedly
that I would not miss, and that was a can
of spam. So I bring the can of spam into school,
and I remember that I got a little boost when
(09:02):
I added my donation to the basket that was on
the nuns desk. Sister Diane and I say in the
book she took a brief break from whacking kids that
day and was accepting the donations, and she gave me
a tiny nod of approval, and I felt terrific. Then
(09:25):
two weeks later, I'm at home and there's a knock
at the door and I see my friend Sheila Corbett's father,
and I'm wondering, what the heck is he doing at
our front door, And there it was the basket. We
were the poor family, And with every fiber of my being,
(09:46):
I wanted to evaporate, disintegrate, crawl under the carpeting. And
I'm thinking, oh, my goodness, I hope he doesn't tell
Sheila that we were the poor family.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
On and on and on, and then I look at
the basket.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yes, the can of spam made its way back into
our house, but of great delight was a brown plastic bag,
and the shade of brown was unmistakable.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
It was a bag of Snickers bars.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
And I was overjoyed, and I took the bag out
of the basket and I hid it and I feasted
on the Snickers bars for I don't know, it seemed
like many months. But that act of generosity on the
part of someone who imagined that there was going to
(10:44):
be a child on the receiving end of this basket,
that really created a little bit of magic in my life.
And I think it's an example of you never know
what tiny act act is going to absolutely change someone's
(11:05):
perspective and their reality. You know, did that change my
financial circumstances? Absolutely not. The financial circumstances were still the
crummy financial circumstances. But alongside those realities was a little
(11:26):
bit of magic.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
Yeah. Crazy.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I learned later on that the donor of the magical
bag of Snickers was Juliet van bellinghen the late Juliet.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
She was our social studies teacher.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
And I really, you know, can't overstate the magic that
that had for me. And you know it triggers other
generous actions. So we have proof that generous actions come
back to us.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
In physics, I think.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
It's Newton's third law of motion. What you put out
comes back, It cannot fail. This is not you know,
woo woo stuff sitting on a mountain trying to will
things into existence.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
This is physics.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Each action there is an equal and opposite reaction. You know,
talking about generous and you also mentioned the number nine.
What I thought amazing in the beginning your introduction of
your book. You talk about chapters nine. You can go
to chapter nine and learn about generous actions. That's first
time've ever seen that in the book. How come we did?
Speaker 2 (12:46):
That's well, you know, it's funny in the introduction of
the book, and I say to my husband, I never
read an introduction, so I felt a little self conscious
writing and introduction, but I kept it percifully brief. It's
a page and a half. And I do recommend that
folks read the intro because this book has separable components.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
You don't have to wighe through the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
If you are not really interested in the protecting your
wealth part, you can jump right into the chapter becoming
a money magnet. You know there are actions you can
take that cannot help but increase your bottom line financially.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
Or you can.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Start with the third part of the book on generosity.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Or chapter five area. It seems the central theme of
the book is that protecting what you have will result
in greater wealth.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Yes, so protecting what you have does not only secure
the things that you have today. I believe that building
well health protections will result in more wealth. If you
build the wealth protection, more wealth will come. And I
(14:11):
think the best way to really wrap your head around
this is to go back in time and as a child,
my favorite toy We're Barbie dolls. Right, I love the
Barbie dolls. I always wanted more Barbie dolls. And I'm
always asking my mother for Barbie dolls. And what did
(14:33):
she say, Well, look at the Barbies you have now.
You cut their hair off, you put magic marker all
over them. They're naked, You lost the clothes, you cut
up the clothes. I was an aspiring fashion designer and cosmetologists,
so I was putting makeup on them and cutting their hair.
(14:55):
But the takeaway was, if you are not protecting and
what you have, the world is not likely to add
to what you have, So by protecting what you have
right now, you're acting in a manner consistent with having wealth.
(15:17):
And for those folks who are manifesting students, one of
the steps in manifesting is to act as if what
you want is already here. So acting in a manner
consistent with true wealth means that we take reasonable steps
(15:39):
to protect what we have right now. And we come
back to the lotto curse. You know, people are incredulous
that someone who wins one hundred million dollars is actually
able to lose it all, but it's true. I've had
two lottery winners in my pract and what happens first
(16:03):
is that the lottery winner, I guess, we go out
of our minds a little bit and we buy everything
that we've ever wanted, and now we feel guilty that
those around us, you know, are not having everything that
they have always wanted. So, you know, we're investing in
cousin Fred's jerk Chicken franchise, and we're buying expensive toys
(16:27):
for everyone until we say no, at which point we've
lost the relationship, or until the money runs out, and
that is what happens with most people who come into
a windfall, whether it's a lottery win, an inheritance, or
(16:48):
simply an income tax refund, you need to have a plan,
and this book will give you the legal tools to
protect assets and prevent them from being frittered away, especially as.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
You came and you started the show with the forty
percent comment that you're going to potentially could lose up
to forty percent if you don't protect your assets.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Yeah, well, forty percent of folks will lose assets to
an unexpected long term illness. So it's incumbent upon us
to know how are we going to protect our assets
or our single biggest asset for most of us is
the family home. And we want to get that family
(17:37):
home in a properly drafted trust to avoid probate, to
prevent the next generation from having to pay capital gains,
and to keep that home out of the clutches of
a nursing home.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Smart woman's guide, whether you own that home as a
woman or whether your husband DC, you need to protect yourself, right,
and you've written this book as a smart woman's guide,
But how about us a gentleman.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Well, listen, I think that the steps I lay out
in the book are applicable to everyone, but I want
to make a special outreach to the women I know
and the women who are out there, because women have
additional financial stressors. Right, the fifteen year old who is
(18:34):
asking us for two hundred dollars sneakers, that's going to
cause me to lose a little more sleep than it
will my husband. Right, I think women are more likely
to be people pleasers, and we hate saying no. We
hate saying no to the grandchild asking us to co
(18:57):
sign on a student loan, the relative who's asking us
to invest in their business, the friend who is asking
us for a loan.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
It's very difficult for a lot of us to say no.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
And in the book, I share tools for maintaining and
preserving relationships without jeopardizing ourselves financially. You know, many studies
have shown that women have higher levels of financial stress.
(19:32):
And you and I, Paul were talking right before the
show about stress. Stress can kill you before quite literally.
But in the short term, stress hurts us financially because
stress interferes with our sleep. Right, So if I am
sleep deprived, am I crushing it at work? Am I
(19:54):
getting promoted? Am I killing it in my business?
Speaker 4 (19:57):
No?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I'm just treading water because I'm so blank tired. Right.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
I did the brain series. It goes from the adrenaline
from the brain right down into your heart stress.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
No, it's tough, serious, and financial strife is the number
one cause of divorces, and the divorce in turn is
going to blow a meteor sized hole in our already
you know, tightly stretched finances. So you know, this book
(20:31):
gives strategies that women of all ages can use to
vanquish our inner financial demons. Do you know what the
number two fear is, uh, living alone? The fear of aging? Okay, yeah,
And you know we talk about in the book steps
(20:54):
that we can take to take the teeth out of
the unknown. Go on to my website, my lawyer and
dot com and that's and with no E you can
download free forms and really feel a little bit empowered
and get a handle on your financial life.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
I thought you were going to say the teeth out
of your mouth.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
No, no, Yeah, you get older, you have to keep
the teeth very important. There's something you know. Women have
more items on their to do lists. You know, I think,
sitting here right now, I'm sure you have items on
your mental to do list.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
I would have to.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Imagine that I have more items on my mental to
do list because I have more categories. My categories are,
you know, the laundry, the grocery shopping. I don't care
how evolved we are as a society. Women are still
doing more than twice the household chores that their male
(22:04):
partners are. So what we need to do to reduce
some stress is to reduce the items on our to
do list, and in many cases that means eliminating action items,
because I feel guilty if there are items on the
(22:26):
to do list that I haven't gotten around to. So
last year, one of my New Year's resolutions was to
learn Italian, and dutifully my husband got me a book
on learning Italian and I tried it for a couple
of months and it really just it was not for me.
(22:46):
Anyone out there, if you speak Italian, I take my
hat off to you, because there are so many single
letters that actually our whole words, and when a native speaker,
it sounds so beautiful, which is why I wanted to
learn it. But when they start going fast, I don't
know what the heck is going on. So anyway, I
(23:07):
took that item off of my mental to do list.
If anyone wants this book, I'm happy to.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
Give it to you.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
But when we get rid of items on our mental
to do list, we feel a little lighter, a little freer,
a little happier. And there are items that we should
not delete from the to do list, and that involves
this legal planning, a state planning. Fifty percent of Americans
(23:41):
have not done a darn thing in this arena. And
I would say to you, whether you realize it or not,
you know in the back of your mind that you
should be dealing with this. When I die, I don't
want to leave a tangled web of bills. And you know,
(24:05):
social media passwords that the kids don't have, And how
often do you see on Facebook, you know, messages from
people you know have passed away because no one was
able to delete their accounts.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
So I think our final.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Act as a parent is to put some good a
state planning in place. And I always tell people, do
you need a lawyer to do this?
Speaker 4 (24:38):
Well? I do believe that you need a lawyer to
do some of it.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
A trust should not be, you know, an experiment, because
you are dealing with It's like electrical wiring right, but
the results unlike bad electrical wiring, bad estate planning, you're
not going to see the result for years. But that
could result in more taxes delayed, a state administration which
(25:09):
sets the stage for children fighting with each other, which
no parent wants to leave a legacy of the stay.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Planning is law, and law is not just something you know.
Law is something you need to study and know what
government does this.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
The scary thing is that the government, folks, has an
estate plan for you. Did you know that if I
do nothing and I say, you know what, they'll just
all figure it out. If I leave anything, I leave anything,
and they should be happy for what little they get. Well,
(25:47):
if we don't do an estate plan, the government has
one for us. And you know, I was a state
legislator for fourteen years and that was, you know, one
of the things we did. We came up with laws,
default laws to deal with folks that didn't do their
(26:08):
own planning. So there is a will that my former
colleagues have written for you in the New York State
Estates Powers and Trusts law. And it's a formula. That
formula may not work for you if you have a
(26:28):
significant other, but you're not legally married, that person has
no inheritance rights. If you're living in a condo, it's
in your name and your significant other is living with
you and you die first, she or he will be
(26:48):
homeless because they have no rights under the law. So
don't let the government do planning for you. Take the
bull by the horns. Ed yourself a little bit. Go
onto my Instagram and you can weigh in.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
On the picture on the book cover.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Reveal it's at my lawyer Anne and there's no e
on an and educate yourself. You're going to feel a
little bit more powerful. And I think every action in
the right direction builds on itself.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
And if you did take care of something like this,
how often do you have to look at it again.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Well, if the documents were correctly done, you don't necessarily
have to update them unless there is a change. If
my spouse dies, I don't have to really update my
documents because a properly drafted document will say if Bill
(27:57):
shall have predeceased me, everything goes to Danny and Billy.
But if instead of dying, a beneficiary has a problem,
they have a long term illness, they have a psychiatric diagnosis,
a developmental disability, a gambling problem, or life has unfolded
(28:23):
and they've proven to be a financial train wreck. Then
I need to revisit the planning to craft some safeguards
to keep my loved ones protected. Because what happens when
Fred blows through the inheritance. He's going to be bothering
(28:43):
his brother and sister. So I need to protect all
of my loved ones from themselves and from each other.
And again it's our final act as a parent. With
that where just about out of time. I hope that
you will go on to Amazon The Smart Woman's Guide
(29:05):
to Building and Books Wealth Please be Smart Woman's Guide
to Building and Protecting Wealth available for pre order, and
if you want to use it as a holiday gift,
you can go on to my website and download a
little gift card. The website is my Lawyer and dot com.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Paul.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Thank you so much for being here and at My
Lawyer and Instagram. Take care everyone, have a great day.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
The preceding program was sponsored by New York Priority Medical Care.
The preceeding was a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed,
The following is a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed. The following program is sponsored by New
York Priority Medical Care. Now it's time for the Laws
of Your Money, a weekly call in show with legal
tips to help you protect your money. Here's your host
(00:23):
and Margaret Caroza.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello, and welcome to the Laws of your Money. This
is a program dedicated to protecting you from legal and
financial mayhem when it comes to personal finance. I believe
the single most important thing is to be legally protected,
(00:47):
because what does it matter how brilliantly I've saved and
invested if there's a greater than forty percent chance of
losing assets to a long term illness in explosive breakup taxes,
capital gains taxes, estate taxes, not to mention ordinary lawsuits.
(01:11):
We are living in the most litigious society that the
world has ever known, so it is incumbent upon us
to become educated and protect what we have for our
loved ones, to keep strangers hands out of our pockets.
(01:33):
I am asset protection attorney and Margaret Caroza joined today
by my esteemed colleague, co host and friend, the Reverend
Paul Slatcus. Welcome back to the program.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Paul, Hello, Anne, happy to be back.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Great.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I thought it was very appropriate that you be here
today because I have a very exciting announcement. My new book,
The Smart Woman's Guide to Building and Protecting Wealth is
now available for pre order on Amazon. I encourage you
(02:15):
go on to my Instagram at my lawyer and you can.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
See the cover reveal. The cover was a little.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Bit of a mixed review. Some people said I should
have been smiling more.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
What do you think, Paul, Well, you know that's a combination.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
I think it's fine. We're talking serious stuff.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
Well, the Well said it all there.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
But the well is that you're both. It's a serious
and joyous because you help people.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
Well, you know what this is.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
I wish I didn't have to write it, but way
back in time, twenty eight year old and Margaret Carosa
was up to her eye balls in law school loans
and credit card debt. And this is really the blueprint
that I wish I had at that point as I
(03:13):
started to slowly climb out from under a mountain of
debt and get my head screwed on straight financially. So
what I've done I retraced my steps and I think
put together a roadmap that anyone can use at any.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Point on their personal journey.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
In addition to my story, I share the stories of
my more than twenty thousand estate planning clients. I have
seen folks go from rags to riches and riches to rags,
and I have concluded that money problems are not solved
(04:03):
by money alone. If that were the case, then we
would have no lotto winners who blow through it all
in record time. There's a lot more at play than
the amount of money that you're taking in. And a
prime example, one of you know, the many, many stories,
(04:25):
instructive stories, real life stories, had to do with a
new couple who came in to see me for a
state planning a retired cop and retired nurse. You know,
they were great earners through their lives, but certainly not
eye popping salaries, right, and they were in very good
(04:50):
shape financially. And one of the first questions I ask
new clients as it relates to their children, are you
helping any of your children financially? And they said, yes,
we help one of our sons. So I asked, is
he unable to work? No, he works, and guess what
(05:13):
he did for a living. I don't know, a neurosurgeon.
And his parents told me he was making seven hundred
thousand dollars a year. Him they're helping him financially because,
according to them, he was married to a spendaholic and
(05:34):
they belonged to a country club and everyone has fancy
new least cars, and you know, this guy was really
out over his skis, and you know, a little bit
shame on him that he was asking his retired parents
to to help him. But that's really an example of
(05:57):
when we are just spending, spending, spending, it's a vortex
and no amount of money is inexhaustible. It's funny that
the number two New Year's resolution is getting a hold
of our finances, but far too few of us actually
(06:22):
do that. And I think it's super important to start
this well before the New Year, and as we're embarking
upon the holiday season, I want everyone to re examine
their gift giving thoughts heading into the holidays. I've shared
(06:42):
the story before that my sister and I years ago,
to stop the overspending madness, vowed that we would simply
give each other a book for the holidays, a book
that resonated with us naturally. This holiday season, I do
(07:03):
hope folks will think about making a gift of my
new book, The Smart Woman's Guide to Building and Protecting
Wealth to a loved one that they want to help
get them to the next level financially. One of the
things that we talk about in the book is generous actions,
(07:28):
and heading into the holidays, I encourage everyone, instead of
a new cashmir sweater, think about going on to one
of these great websites, World Vision or hypher International to
buy an animal for a poor family and a developing
(07:50):
country to help them.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
You know, produce milk and eggs that.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
They can you know, make a livelihood with.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
That's a beautiful thing, Anne, and you always are concerned
about people doing the right thing in this world. By
far so these generous actions. Are there some other examples
of what people can do well.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I look back into my first experience with generosity. As
everyone has heard me mention before, I did not have
all the money in the world growing up. I know
my kids are sick of hearing me say that, as
they're you know, using all of the paper towel in
the world. When I was nine, my school was collecting
(08:39):
items for a food drive around the holidays. So I
went into our pantry and I looked for something, admittedly
that I would not miss, and that was a can
of spam. So I bring the can of spam into school,
and I remember that I got a little boost when
(09:02):
I added my donation to the basket that was on
the nuns desk. Sister Diane and I say in the
book she took a brief break from whacking kids that
day and was accepting the donations, and she gave me
a tiny nod of approval, and I felt terrific. Then
(09:25):
two weeks later, I'm at home and there's a knock
at the door and I see my friend Sheila Corbett's father,
and I'm wondering, what the heck is he doing at
our front door, And there it was the basket. We
were the poor family, And with every fiber of my being,
(09:46):
I wanted to evaporate, disintegrate, crawl under the carpeting. And
I'm thinking, oh, my goodness, I hope he doesn't tell
Sheila that we were the poor family.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
On and on and on, and then I look at
the basket.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yes, the can of spam made its way back into
our house, but of great delight was a brown plastic bag,
and the shade of brown was unmistakable.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
It was a bag of Snickers bars.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
And I was overjoyed, and I took the bag out
of the basket and I hid it and I feasted
on the Snickers bars for I don't know, it seemed
like many months. But that act of generosity on the
part of someone who imagined that there was going to
(10:44):
be a child on the receiving end of this basket,
that really created a little bit of magic in my life.
And I think it's an example of you never know
what tiny act act is going to absolutely change someone's
(11:05):
perspective and their reality. You know, did that change my
financial circumstances? Absolutely not. The financial circumstances were still the
crummy financial circumstances. But alongside those realities was a little
(11:26):
bit of magic.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
Yeah. Crazy.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I learned later on that the donor of the magical
bag of Snickers was Juliet van bellinghen the late Juliet.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
She was our social studies teacher.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
And I really, you know, can't overstate the magic that
that had for me. And you know it triggers other
generous actions. So we have proof that generous actions come
back to us.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
In physics, I think.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
It's Newton's third law of motion. What you put out
comes back, It cannot fail. This is not you know,
woo woo stuff sitting on a mountain trying to will
things into existence.
Speaker 4 (12:21):
This is physics.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Each action there is an equal and opposite reaction. You know,
talking about generous and you also mentioned the number nine.
What I thought amazing in the beginning your introduction of
your book. You talk about chapters nine. You can go
to chapter nine and learn about generous actions. That's first
time've ever seen that in the book. How come we did?
Speaker 2 (12:46):
That's well, you know, it's funny in the introduction of
the book, and I say to my husband, I never
read an introduction, so I felt a little self conscious
writing and introduction, but I kept it percifully brief. It's
a page and a half. And I do recommend that
folks read the intro because this book has separable components.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
You don't have to wighe through the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
If you are not really interested in the protecting your
wealth part, you can jump right into the chapter becoming
a money magnet. You know there are actions you can
take that cannot help but increase your bottom line financially.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
Or you can.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Start with the third part of the book on generosity.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Or chapter five area. It seems the central theme of
the book is that protecting what you have will result
in greater wealth.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Yes, so protecting what you have does not only secure
the things that you have today. I believe that building
well health protections will result in more wealth. If you
build the wealth protection, more wealth will come. And I
(14:11):
think the best way to really wrap your head around
this is to go back in time and as a child,
my favorite toy We're Barbie dolls. Right, I love the
Barbie dolls. I always wanted more Barbie dolls. And I'm
always asking my mother for Barbie dolls. And what did
(14:33):
she say, Well, look at the Barbies you have now.
You cut their hair off, you put magic marker all
over them. They're naked, You lost the clothes, you cut
up the clothes. I was an aspiring fashion designer and cosmetologists,
so I was putting makeup on them and cutting their hair.
(14:55):
But the takeaway was, if you are not protecting and
what you have, the world is not likely to add
to what you have, So by protecting what you have
right now, you're acting in a manner consistent with having wealth.
(15:17):
And for those folks who are manifesting students, one of
the steps in manifesting is to act as if what
you want is already here. So acting in a manner
consistent with true wealth means that we take reasonable steps
(15:39):
to protect what we have right now. And we come
back to the lotto curse. You know, people are incredulous
that someone who wins one hundred million dollars is actually
able to lose it all, but it's true. I've had
two lottery winners in my pract and what happens first
(16:03):
is that the lottery winner, I guess, we go out
of our minds a little bit and we buy everything
that we've ever wanted, and now we feel guilty that
those around us, you know, are not having everything that
they have always wanted. So, you know, we're investing in
cousin Fred's jerk Chicken franchise, and we're buying expensive toys
(16:27):
for everyone until we say no, at which point we've
lost the relationship, or until the money runs out, and
that is what happens with most people who come into
a windfall, whether it's a lottery win, an inheritance, or
(16:48):
simply an income tax refund, you need to have a plan,
and this book will give you the legal tools to
protect assets and prevent them from being frittered away, especially as.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
You came and you started the show with the forty
percent comment that you're going to potentially could lose up
to forty percent if you don't protect your assets.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Yeah, well, forty percent of folks will lose assets to
an unexpected long term illness. So it's incumbent upon us
to know how are we going to protect our assets
or our single biggest asset for most of us is
the family home. And we want to get that family
(17:37):
home in a properly drafted trust to avoid probate, to
prevent the next generation from having to pay capital gains,
and to keep that home out of the clutches of
a nursing home.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Smart woman's guide, whether you own that home as a
woman or whether your husband DC, you need to protect yourself, right,
and you've written this book as a smart woman's guide,
But how about us a gentleman.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Well, listen, I think that the steps I lay out
in the book are applicable to everyone, but I want
to make a special outreach to the women I know
and the women who are out there, because women have
additional financial stressors. Right, the fifteen year old who is
(18:34):
asking us for two hundred dollars sneakers, that's going to
cause me to lose a little more sleep than it
will my husband. Right, I think women are more likely
to be people pleasers, and we hate saying no. We
hate saying no to the grandchild asking us to co
(18:57):
sign on a student loan, the relative who's asking us
to invest in their business, the friend who is asking
us for a loan.
Speaker 4 (19:07):
It's very difficult for a lot of us to say no.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
And in the book, I share tools for maintaining and
preserving relationships without jeopardizing ourselves financially. You know, many studies
have shown that women have higher levels of financial stress.
(19:32):
And you and I, Paul were talking right before the
show about stress. Stress can kill you before quite literally.
But in the short term, stress hurts us financially because
stress interferes with our sleep. Right, So if I am
sleep deprived, am I crushing it at work? Am I
(19:54):
getting promoted? Am I killing it in my business?
Speaker 4 (19:57):
No?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I'm just treading water because I'm so blank tired. Right.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
I did the brain series. It goes from the adrenaline
from the brain right down into your heart stress.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
No, it's tough, serious, and financial strife is the number
one cause of divorces, and the divorce in turn is
going to blow a meteor sized hole in our already
you know, tightly stretched finances. So you know, this book
(20:31):
gives strategies that women of all ages can use to
vanquish our inner financial demons. Do you know what the
number two fear is, uh, living alone? The fear of aging? Okay, yeah,
And you know we talk about in the book steps
(20:54):
that we can take to take the teeth out of
the unknown. Go on to my website, my lawyer and
dot com and that's and with no E you can
download free forms and really feel a little bit empowered
and get a handle on your financial life.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
I thought you were going to say the teeth out
of your mouth.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
No, no, Yeah, you get older, you have to keep
the teeth very important. There's something you know. Women have
more items on their to do lists. You know, I think,
sitting here right now, I'm sure you have items on
your mental to do list.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
I would have to.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Imagine that I have more items on my mental to
do list because I have more categories. My categories are,
you know, the laundry, the grocery shopping. I don't care
how evolved we are as a society. Women are still
doing more than twice the household chores that their male
(22:04):
partners are. So what we need to do to reduce
some stress is to reduce the items on our to
do list, and in many cases that means eliminating action items,
because I feel guilty if there are items on the
(22:26):
to do list that I haven't gotten around to. So
last year, one of my New Year's resolutions was to
learn Italian, and dutifully my husband got me a book
on learning Italian and I tried it for a couple
of months and it really just it was not for me.
(22:46):
Anyone out there, if you speak Italian, I take my
hat off to you, because there are so many single
letters that actually our whole words, and when a native speaker,
it sounds so beautiful, which is why I wanted to
learn it. But when they start going fast, I don't
know what the heck is going on. So anyway, I
(23:07):
took that item off of my mental to do list.
If anyone wants this book, I'm happy to.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
Give it to you.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
But when we get rid of items on our mental
to do list, we feel a little lighter, a little freer,
a little happier. And there are items that we should
not delete from the to do list, and that involves
this legal planning, a state planning. Fifty percent of Americans
(23:41):
have not done a darn thing in this arena. And
I would say to you, whether you realize it or not,
you know in the back of your mind that you
should be dealing with this. When I die, I don't
want to leave a tangled web of bills. And you know,
(24:05):
social media passwords that the kids don't have, And how
often do you see on Facebook, you know, messages from
people you know have passed away because no one was
able to delete their accounts.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
So I think our final.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Act as a parent is to put some good a
state planning in place. And I always tell people, do
you need a lawyer to do this?
Speaker 4 (24:38):
Well? I do believe that you need a lawyer to
do some of it.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
A trust should not be, you know, an experiment, because
you are dealing with It's like electrical wiring right, but
the results unlike bad electrical wiring, bad estate planning, you're
not going to see the result for years. But that
could result in more taxes delayed, a state administration which
(25:09):
sets the stage for children fighting with each other, which
no parent wants to leave a legacy of the stay.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Planning is law, and law is not just something you know.
Law is something you need to study and know what
government does this.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
The scary thing is that the government, folks, has an
estate plan for you. Did you know that if I
do nothing and I say, you know what, they'll just
all figure it out. If I leave anything, I leave anything,
and they should be happy for what little they get. Well,
(25:47):
if we don't do an estate plan, the government has
one for us. And you know, I was a state
legislator for fourteen years and that was, you know, one
of the things we did. We came up with laws,
default laws to deal with folks that didn't do their
(26:08):
own planning. So there is a will that my former
colleagues have written for you in the New York State
Estates Powers and Trusts law. And it's a formula. That
formula may not work for you if you have a
(26:28):
significant other, but you're not legally married, that person has
no inheritance rights. If you're living in a condo, it's
in your name and your significant other is living with
you and you die first, she or he will be
(26:48):
homeless because they have no rights under the law. So
don't let the government do planning for you. Take the
bull by the horns. Ed yourself a little bit. Go
onto my Instagram and you can weigh in.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
On the picture on the book cover.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Reveal it's at my lawyer Anne and there's no e
on an and educate yourself. You're going to feel a
little bit more powerful. And I think every action in
the right direction builds on itself.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
And if you did take care of something like this,
how often do you have to look at it again.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Well, if the documents were correctly done, you don't necessarily
have to update them unless there is a change. If
my spouse dies, I don't have to really update my
documents because a properly drafted document will say if Bill
(27:57):
shall have predeceased me, everything goes to Danny and Billy.
But if instead of dying, a beneficiary has a problem,
they have a long term illness, they have a psychiatric diagnosis,
a developmental disability, a gambling problem, or life has unfolded
(28:23):
and they've proven to be a financial train wreck. Then
I need to revisit the planning to craft some safeguards
to keep my loved ones protected. Because what happens when
Fred blows through the inheritance. He's going to be bothering
(28:43):
his brother and sister. So I need to protect all
of my loved ones from themselves and from each other.
And again it's our final act as a parent. With
that where just about out of time. I hope that
you will go on to Amazon The Smart Woman's Guide
(29:05):
to Building and Books Wealth Please be Smart Woman's Guide
to Building and Protecting Wealth available for pre order, and
if you want to use it as a holiday gift,
you can go on to my website and download a
little gift card. The website is my Lawyer and dot com.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Paul.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Thank you so much for being here and at My
Lawyer and Instagram. Take care everyone, have a great day.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
The preceding program was sponsored by New York Priority Medical Care.
The preceeding was a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed,
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