February 1, 2026 • 30 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The following is a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed. The following program is sponsored by New
York Priority Medical Care. Now it's time for the Laws
of Your Money, a weekly call in show with legal
(00:20):
tips to help you protect your money. Here's your host
and Margaret Caroza.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hello and welcome to the Laws of your Money.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
This is a show dedicated to protecting you from legal
and financial mayhem. I believe the most important elements of
personal finance are legal protections, because what does it matter
how diligently I save and invest if there's a greater
(00:52):
than forty percent chance of losing significant assets to a
long term illness?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Taxes.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
This can be capital gains taxes, estate taxes, an expensive breakup,
or ordinary lawsuits.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Folks, we are living in the most.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Litigious society that the world has ever seen. There are
thousands of laws out there to protect you from evil doers,
but only if you learn about them and implement them
and protect yourselves. We're gonna dig into many of these
(01:38):
topics today. I am and Margaret Carosa joined today again
by my esteemed colleague and guest co host, the Reverend
Paul slatkis Welcome back to the.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Program, Paul, thank you, thank you for being here.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
So I want to start today by talk looking a
little bit about the basics.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
You know, because on.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
This show every week, Paul, we use terminology that may
not be crystal clear to everyone. So let's go back
a little bit and talk about what are the fundamental
building blocks when it comes to legal documents and legal
(02:25):
structures that all of us should have in place. And
I think the number one is a healthcare proxy. With
the healthcare Proxy document in all fifty states, I can
appoint another person to speak for me in a hospital
(02:47):
setting if I can't communicate myself. I do not believe
I've said this before that you need an attorney to
do a healthcare proxy. It's designed to be a DIY document.
You're free to go onto my website, download it, print it,
make it your own, and the website is my lawyer
(03:10):
and dot com. Okay, that's your healthcare proxy. I would
say there's only one possible mistake that someone can make
when filling this out, and that is you cannot have
two agents at the same time. So I can't say
(03:32):
that my son's Billy and Danny are my joint healthcare
proxy agent.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
That's a no go.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
I think, you know, the medical professionals in a hospital
setting want to know with clarity and certainty, who is
the person that they should be taking directions from. I
think it's super important with the healthcare proxy.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Put the cell.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Phone number of your agent on the document, and then
with your phone, snap a picture of it and text
that picture to your healthcare proxy agent, because even if
they live close by, they may not be in the
emergency room with you at two am on some given evening.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Okay, what would be some of the things you'd want
to see in that person enough for you to say
this person should do it?
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Well, that's a very good question, you know, and it's
going to be different for everyone with the healthcare proxy.
I may not necessarily be picking the person I love
the most right if I know that I'm putting an
undue burden on them if they don't have the emotional
(04:47):
wherewithal to possibly make a tough decision. So I think,
you know, I have some clients and we talk it
through and they opt for having no health care proxy
in place with the idea, let the medical team make
their best efforts and their best decisions so that none
(05:12):
of my children, so my spouse, or my sister or
my parents don't have the weight of that responsibility. But
you know it depends on the cast of characters.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
So you don't. This isn't a mandatory to do a
health care proxy.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
No, no, not at all.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
This is if you have someone that you wish to
give this decision too, then definitely do it. Otherwise it
will be the medical team making their own decisions. The
other healthcare advanced directive that a lot of folks use
interchangeably with health care proxy, but it's very different, is.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
A living will.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
A living will is where the micromanager in me can
come out and I set forth all of the things
I want and don't want later in life. So if
you have strong feelings about no heroic measures being implemented,
(06:16):
the language I have in my healthcare my living will
rather see I conflated the two for a moment. The
language I have in my document that you can see
on my website is if a given procedure will only
have the effect of prolonging my dying process, I direct
(06:40):
that it be withheld or withdrawn as the case. Maybe, however,
I do want maximum pain relief, and it's very important
to put that language in there because you might have
a medical provider a little reluctant to give you all
of the pain medication you're asking.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
For if the effect of that.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Pain medication is to incrementally shorten your life.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Right.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
So, unfortunately, because of our very litigious society, there is
what we call defensive medicine.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
You know, if the patient sees an.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Ad for a certain prescription drug on TV and goes
into the physician and asks for it, the physician's in
a tough spot because if they don't give the person
that prescription and there's a bad outcome, they could be
subject to liability.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
This has gotten out of hand absolutely.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
But be that as it may. You want to put
that language in the living will. I put language in
my living will that says, in the event I have
a long term illness, I wish to have my care
provided at home unless it's impracticable. Right So, my default,
having been in many many nursing homes, is all things
(08:11):
being equal, I prefer not to be there.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
But everyone is different.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
My husband, Bill, who's a physician, he's been on the
program before and he shared the story of his aunt
who absolutely flourished and came to life when she left
being in her own home. She had a caregiver, but
it was still not a very enriched environment. She was
(08:38):
watching TV all day while the caregiver was on her
cell phone, and once she entered the rehab and nursing facility,
she really sprang to life. There were activities, there was bingo,
there was music, there was cocktail hour. She met a boyfriend,
And I guess we have to give a shout out
(09:00):
to the facility Long Island Care Center and Flushing, where
Bill is the medical director. They have a very active
Instagram account and it's like a cruise ship over there.
They have a limbo contest and they celebrate holidays that
I didn't even know existed.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
So we can't throw tycoons.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
They don't miss a holiday.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
There you go. We can't throw them all under a bus.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
A will, though you can also, I mean, if you did,
when do you when do you create a will? Do
you we create a will at twenty thirty forty.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Fifty, Well, I think the moment we have children, we
need to set up a will because the will is
where we name a guardian you know, and you go through.
Did you ever see the movie Terms of Endearment?
Speaker 4 (09:54):
I love it?
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Okay, that crying deathbed goodbye scene where Deborah Winger is
wondering who's going to raise the kids in her imminent absence.
You really need to do a will so that a
stranger is not making a decision about who raises your
(10:16):
children and who gets your stuff when you die.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
So we should all have a will, but the goal.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Is, in my opinion, not to have to use it,
because the will goes to probate. Now, it's better to
have a will than have no will in the event
that there are assets that need to be administered. So
if I have no will and I, let's say, have
a house or there's a bank account without beneficiaries on it,
(10:50):
the only way for that asset to make it to
my loved ones is for them to go through court
in what's called an administration proceeding. I have never seen
an administration proceeding wind up in less than a year
and a half. You have to do a family tree,
(11:12):
and you need to have an affidavit of airship.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
It is a huge pain in the neck.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
And in addition to the court fees and the legal fees.
State law says you also have to post a bond
before the court can appoint you as the administrator. So, really, folks,
you don't.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Want to just wing.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
It, because if you don't set forth your wishes, a
stranger will be making these determinations. So I want you all,
within the sound of my voice, to think about whichever
side of the political aisle you happen to be on.
(11:57):
I want you to think about your least faith for it, legislator,
and get a clear picture of this person in your mind.
Do you want this person deciding who gets your stuff
when you pass away?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
You know, I don't what happens legislator. A legislator a
government person.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Your state legislature sets forth the rules for who gets
your stuff, Paul, upon your death. If you have not
made it clear within state planning documents who should get
your stuff, those are the default rules. So as a legislator, I,
(12:43):
together with my former colleagues fourteen years at fourteen years,
you know, would try to come up with what should
happen when people.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Don't make their own decisions.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
So it's much better to roll up your sleeves make
your own decisions. Don't let the perfect be the enemy
of the good, and put some things down in place
so that a strange judge is not deciding who's going
to raise your children, and that your legislators are not
(13:16):
deciding who gets your stuff.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Of which you can change at a later data.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Yeah, you could change it at any time. You can
and should make changes as time goes on. So when
I say we don't want to have to rely on
a will because it goes to court and you're involving
a lot of people and a lot of delays, what
should we do instead of having to rely on a will?
(13:42):
Oliver Wendel Holmes said over one hundred years ago, put
not your trust in money, but put your money in
a trust. And that advice remains sound today provided you know.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
What type of trust to use.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
So it makes me crazy when people send away for
these trust kits, because there is exactly one type of
trust that they are sending to everyone across the country
who's silly enough.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
To order these kits.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
There are dozens of different types of trusts. You should
have a separate trust.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
If you own life insurance.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
You've all heard from your financial advisor selling the life
insurance that life insurance.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Is tax free.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
It is income tax free, it is not transfer tax free.
That means that if I have a five hundred thousand
dollars death benefit, that upon my death, that death benefit
is part of my gross taxable estate unless the policy
(15:01):
was owned by a life insurance trust. So if you
have life insurance, whether it's term, whole, life, universal, you
need to get that in a trust. Because even though
you may be far below the estate tax threshold today, that.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Changes with each administration.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
So be super careful that that death benefit doesn't get
caught up in the gross taxable estate.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Those of us who have special.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Needs loved ones need to think about implementing a supplemental
needs trust. If I have a child who's developmentally disabled,
I don't want to go old school and leave them
out of the estate plan, leaving everything to his brother.
Because his brother may have the best of intentions. But
(16:00):
what if the brother is in a car accident or
a divorce. Now, the money that he's holding in this
old school gentleman's agreement for his brother is, you know,
to the four corners of the earth. So consider a
supplemental needs trust where your special needs loved one can
(16:20):
benefit from the estate without the assets counting against them
for eligibility purposes.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
So to be clear, I want to make sure and
I think I asked you this before and you said, yes,
you can have a few trusts.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Most people should have a few different trusts. We have
a few different you know, kettles going on out there
that we need to fire up. And those of us
with real estate, a primary residence, a condo, a co
op investment property, you need to have a special trust
(16:59):
for that so that you're not subject to lawsuits. You know,
if you have a fancy of vacation property two hours
away from you and you're not there every day of
the week, that's an attractive nuisance. And if someone breaks
into your property and hurts themselves. In New York State,
(17:23):
we are the trial lawyer's capital of the world, I think.
And there are theories of liability for that person who
broke into my home and hurt themselves. So we want
to wrap that up into an asset protection themselves.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
They're going to sue you, of.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Course they will. This is New York call wake up,
you know.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
So a question comes up, how do we know what
type of trust to use? How do we know whether
an LLC is going to do the job, and you
know it's not capable of having a quick three minute answer.
I'm just trying to sensitize you to all of the
different trusts that are out there. But I think I
(18:12):
do a good job. In my book, The Smart Woman's
Guide to Building and Protecting Wealth. It's available at Barnes
and Noble, on Amazon, I think some other places. And
in the book we dial into what type of trust
(18:33):
is going to make sense for you and your family.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Here's the Bible, no doubt about it. Let me ask
a question. It says A Smart Woman's Guide to Building.
And I read the book, but I'm not a woman
this week.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
You're not a woman, and you've brought this what's the thought?
You've brought this up before?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
So the Smart Woman's Guide there is no separate internal
revenue code for women, right, So we're talking about laws,
excuse me, that affect everyone. But I'm writing it from
a woman's perspective because I think as women, we are
(19:16):
the CEOs of our famili's emotional and psychological well being.
We know our loved ones strengths and weaknesses and what
they meet may need later on after our passing to
keep them from being.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Tricked by outsiders.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
To keep them from being in conflict with family members.
What if you know, I have a child living in
the home with me, how do we smooth things over
that the other two children are not evicting that child
upon my death. You know, we need to approach this
(20:03):
a little thoughtfully, with a nuanced approach. So for that
child who's living with me, maybe I say in the
trust that we leave the home three ways, sub check
two Susie's right to remain there for X period of time.
(20:26):
Maybe I want to wait till my youngest grandchild has
graduated from high school so they're not uprooted, and during
that time she's going to pay the carrying costs, on.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
And on and on.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
You So you want to spell out the things where
you imagine there might be conflict. And another thing that women,
I know, consider when we're doing the estate planning. What
happens if I I die first, you know, And I
(21:04):
think it's very common. I see it in my practice
that the surviving husband will remarry. And what can I
do at this point in my planning to protect my
children from that new wife later barring my children from
(21:27):
the house and getting my husband to add her name
to the deed of the house, so we can do
that within the trust. By saying Anne and Bill put
the home in the trust, Mary, Susie and Johnny are
the beneficiaries. We retain the right to change beneficiaries, but
(21:48):
only between and amongst our lineal descendants. And with that
magic sentence in the trust, I am blocking that future
possible go go answer that he may take up with.
She does not meet that definition, so she can't.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Be a party. Where did you learn this stuff?
Speaker 3 (22:13):
You know what you learn that's weird from the twenty
thousand clients, more so than from law school, because you
see the best of people and you see the worst
of people. And we build guard rails to keep stranger's
hands out of your pockets. And that's what it's all about.
(22:35):
I want to get to a question that was emailed
this week, and you may be listening. I haven't gotten
a chance to reply to your email. It's a listener
in New Jersey asking me for a recommendation for a
New Jersey attorney. And I have a wonderful he's brilliant
(23:00):
attorney in New Jersey who I have for years referred
quite a lot of clients to and in the past
two years I have had many, many, many complaints about
him not returning calls and about communication, and my clients
(23:24):
that I referred to him had questions and they didn't
feel that the questions were fully answered. So a this
person is permanently not going to be referred by me
to anyone.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Who needs an attorney in New Jersey. Number one.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Number two, I am at this point without a good
attorney to refer to in New Jersey. My practice is
limited to New York State. So if you are a
New Jersey listener and you have an asset protect attorney
that you absolutely love, please let me know about it.
(24:06):
Visit me on Instagram that's at my lawyer and and
message me with the contact of your beloved attorney in
New Jersey.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
That's definitely not something that you do. You are one
buttoned up person. Your people call back. You're thorough, totally.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
And utterly you know what.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
And I think it's important to be clear about expectations.
You know, when you initially meet with a client, you're
really they're interviewing you, right, and you need to be clear.
And I tell people right off the bat if you
call me in the office. You will absolutely not get
(24:50):
me on that first call because I am in a meeting.
I think it would be a very scary sign if
I call a lawyer for the first time and they
are immediately available, right like Ghostbusters. They're sitting around waiting
for the phone who ring. But I will call you
(25:11):
back within a day. If you have a one off question,
send me an email, send me a message on Instagram,
and I will get back to you very quickly with
the answer. If you need to speak with me, make
an appointment for a five minute phone call the following morning. Okay,
(25:32):
super clear. So we're not playing phone tag with each other.
So I want to mention something that comes.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Up a lot who has been on.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Social media sites and you see a pop up for
a dead friend's birthday, you know, So part part of
all of this planning head is today where we're pretty
much all on social media. We need to leave a
(26:07):
list of our log ins with all of our estate
planning and asset protection paperwork so that our loved ones
can go in there and pull things down at the
appropriate time.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
Should also have about passwords and things. I mean, you know,
if you're a loved one. My daughter knows everything about it.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
Yeah, and I think we've talked about this on the
show before. You want to have a family password to
protect against scam artists in this day of AI where
they can copy your grandchild's voice and it sounds like
your grandchild calling you that they're in a tough situation.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
And need you to wire money right away.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
Right, that is serious. We had a bunch of articles
on how people have gotten, especially older.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
People one percent.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
At this point, I would like to exercise a point
of personal privilege and take this opportunity to wish my
cousin Dan Clabby a very, very happy birthday. Danny is
(27:21):
an amazing person, one of my favorite people in the world.
Absolutely lights up every room that he goes into. He
is seven years my senior, and as kids, that was
a big deal. He had a paper route and I
thought that was the most exciting important thing in the world.
(27:41):
And you know what he would do with some of
his money. He would buy me little things. He would
buy me a set of color forms, And I think,
what kind of you know, teenage guy would do that
for his annoying little cousin. So Danny, very happy birthday
from your annoying little cousin.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
I'm not young anymore, but I am still little.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
So you have the color forms.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
I lost the color forms. I would love to find
some more color forms.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
Hear that out there, all right?
Speaker 3 (28:17):
So with that, I hope that you've gotten something out
of the topics we discussed. If there's something you want
me to cover next week, please reach out to me
on Instagram, my lawyer and at my lawyer and or
give the office a call to make an appointment to
sit down with me. Bring your existing documents in and
(28:42):
I guarantee we can shape them up to better protect
your loved ones and to keep strangers hands out of
your pockets.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
You can visit me in Bayside.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
You can visit me in Poor Jefferson or in the
cap but Old District. You can visit me in Albany,
but be sure to tell the folks scheduling the appointment
where you would like to go, so you're not sitting
in Albany and I'm in.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
Poor Jefferson and we are something warm.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
So again I want to encourage you check out the
book Building and Protecting Wealth on Amazon.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I think they have an excerpt that you can read.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
And for those of you who do buy it, you
can use the purchase price as a credit toward your
estate planning. With that, I hope you all have a
great day everyone, Thanks Paul, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
The preceeding program was sponsored by New York Priority Medical Care.
The preceeding was a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed.
The following is a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed. The following program is sponsored by New
York Priority Medical Care. Now it's time for the Laws
of Your Money, a weekly call in show with legal
(00:20):
tips to help you protect your money. Here's your host
and Margaret Caroza.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hello and welcome to the Laws of your Money.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
This is a show dedicated to protecting you from legal
and financial mayhem. I believe the most important elements of
personal finance are legal protections, because what does it matter
how diligently I save and invest if there's a greater
(00:52):
than forty percent chance of losing significant assets to a
long term illness?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Taxes.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
This can be capital gains taxes, estate taxes, an expensive breakup,
or ordinary lawsuits.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Folks, we are living in the most.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Litigious society that the world has ever seen. There are
thousands of laws out there to protect you from evil doers,
but only if you learn about them and implement them
and protect yourselves. We're gonna dig into many of these
(01:38):
topics today. I am and Margaret Carosa joined today again
by my esteemed colleague and guest co host, the Reverend
Paul slatkis Welcome back to the.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Program, Paul, thank you, thank you for being here.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
So I want to start today by talk looking a
little bit about the basics.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
You know, because on.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
This show every week, Paul, we use terminology that may
not be crystal clear to everyone. So let's go back
a little bit and talk about what are the fundamental
building blocks when it comes to legal documents and legal
(02:25):
structures that all of us should have in place. And
I think the number one is a healthcare proxy. With
the healthcare Proxy document in all fifty states, I can
appoint another person to speak for me in a hospital
(02:47):
setting if I can't communicate myself. I do not believe
I've said this before that you need an attorney to
do a healthcare proxy. It's designed to be a DIY document.
You're free to go onto my website, download it, print it,
make it your own, and the website is my lawyer
(03:10):
and dot com. Okay, that's your healthcare proxy. I would
say there's only one possible mistake that someone can make
when filling this out, and that is you cannot have
two agents at the same time. So I can't say
(03:32):
that my son's Billy and Danny are my joint healthcare
proxy agent.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
That's a no go.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
I think, you know, the medical professionals in a hospital
setting want to know with clarity and certainty, who is
the person that they should be taking directions from. I
think it's super important with the healthcare proxy.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Put the cell.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Phone number of your agent on the document, and then
with your phone, snap a picture of it and text
that picture to your healthcare proxy agent, because even if
they live close by, they may not be in the
emergency room with you at two am on some given evening.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Okay, what would be some of the things you'd want
to see in that person enough for you to say
this person should do it?
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Well, that's a very good question, you know, and it's
going to be different for everyone with the healthcare proxy.
I may not necessarily be picking the person I love
the most right if I know that I'm putting an
undue burden on them if they don't have the emotional
(04:47):
wherewithal to possibly make a tough decision. So I think,
you know, I have some clients and we talk it
through and they opt for having no health care proxy
in place with the idea, let the medical team make
their best efforts and their best decisions so that none
(05:12):
of my children, so my spouse, or my sister or
my parents don't have the weight of that responsibility. But
you know it depends on the cast of characters.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
So you don't. This isn't a mandatory to do a
health care proxy.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
No, no, not at all.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
This is if you have someone that you wish to
give this decision too, then definitely do it. Otherwise it
will be the medical team making their own decisions. The
other healthcare advanced directive that a lot of folks use
interchangeably with health care proxy, but it's very different, is.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
A living will.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
A living will is where the micromanager in me can
come out and I set forth all of the things
I want and don't want later in life. So if
you have strong feelings about no heroic measures being implemented,
(06:16):
the language I have in my healthcare my living will
rather see I conflated the two for a moment. The
language I have in my document that you can see
on my website is if a given procedure will only
have the effect of prolonging my dying process, I direct
(06:40):
that it be withheld or withdrawn as the case. Maybe, however,
I do want maximum pain relief, and it's very important
to put that language in there because you might have
a medical provider a little reluctant to give you all
of the pain medication you're asking.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
For if the effect of that.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Pain medication is to incrementally shorten your life.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Right.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
So, unfortunately, because of our very litigious society, there is
what we call defensive medicine.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
You know, if the patient sees an.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Ad for a certain prescription drug on TV and goes
into the physician and asks for it, the physician's in
a tough spot because if they don't give the person
that prescription and there's a bad outcome, they could be
subject to liability.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
This has gotten out of hand absolutely.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
But be that as it may. You want to put
that language in the living will. I put language in
my living will that says, in the event I have
a long term illness, I wish to have my care
provided at home unless it's impracticable. Right So, my default,
having been in many many nursing homes, is all things
(08:11):
being equal, I prefer not to be there.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
But everyone is different.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
My husband, Bill, who's a physician, he's been on the
program before and he shared the story of his aunt
who absolutely flourished and came to life when she left
being in her own home. She had a caregiver, but
it was still not a very enriched environment. She was
(08:38):
watching TV all day while the caregiver was on her
cell phone, and once she entered the rehab and nursing facility,
she really sprang to life. There were activities, there was bingo,
there was music, there was cocktail hour. She met a boyfriend,
And I guess we have to give a shout out
(09:00):
to the facility Long Island Care Center and Flushing, where
Bill is the medical director. They have a very active
Instagram account and it's like a cruise ship over there.
They have a limbo contest and they celebrate holidays that
I didn't even know existed.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
So we can't throw tycoons.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
They don't miss a holiday.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
There you go. We can't throw them all under a bus.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
A will, though you can also, I mean, if you did,
when do you when do you create a will? Do
you we create a will at twenty thirty forty.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Fifty, Well, I think the moment we have children, we
need to set up a will because the will is
where we name a guardian you know, and you go through.
Did you ever see the movie Terms of Endearment?
Speaker 4 (09:54):
I love it?
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Okay, that crying deathbed goodbye scene where Deborah Winger is
wondering who's going to raise the kids in her imminent absence.
You really need to do a will so that a
stranger is not making a decision about who raises your
(10:16):
children and who gets your stuff when you die.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
So we should all have a will, but the goal.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Is, in my opinion, not to have to use it,
because the will goes to probate. Now, it's better to
have a will than have no will in the event
that there are assets that need to be administered. So
if I have no will and I, let's say, have
a house or there's a bank account without beneficiaries on it,
(10:50):
the only way for that asset to make it to
my loved ones is for them to go through court
in what's called an administration proceeding. I have never seen
an administration proceeding wind up in less than a year
and a half. You have to do a family tree,
(11:12):
and you need to have an affidavit of airship.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
It is a huge pain in the neck.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
And in addition to the court fees and the legal fees.
State law says you also have to post a bond
before the court can appoint you as the administrator. So, really, folks,
you don't.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Want to just wing.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
It, because if you don't set forth your wishes, a
stranger will be making these determinations. So I want you all,
within the sound of my voice, to think about whichever
side of the political aisle you happen to be on.
(11:57):
I want you to think about your least faith for it, legislator,
and get a clear picture of this person in your mind.
Do you want this person deciding who gets your stuff
when you pass away?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
You know, I don't what happens legislator. A legislator a
government person.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Your state legislature sets forth the rules for who gets
your stuff, Paul, upon your death. If you have not
made it clear within state planning documents who should get
your stuff, those are the default rules. So as a legislator, I,
(12:43):
together with my former colleagues fourteen years at fourteen years,
you know, would try to come up with what should
happen when people.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Don't make their own decisions.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
So it's much better to roll up your sleeves make
your own decisions. Don't let the perfect be the enemy
of the good, and put some things down in place
so that a strange judge is not deciding who's going
to raise your children, and that your legislators are not
(13:16):
deciding who gets your stuff.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Of which you can change at a later data.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Yeah, you could change it at any time. You can
and should make changes as time goes on. So when
I say we don't want to have to rely on
a will because it goes to court and you're involving
a lot of people and a lot of delays, what
should we do instead of having to rely on a will?
(13:42):
Oliver Wendel Holmes said over one hundred years ago, put
not your trust in money, but put your money in
a trust. And that advice remains sound today provided you know.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
What type of trust to use.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
So it makes me crazy when people send away for
these trust kits, because there is exactly one type of
trust that they are sending to everyone across the country
who's silly enough.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
To order these kits.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
There are dozens of different types of trusts. You should
have a separate trust.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
If you own life insurance.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
You've all heard from your financial advisor selling the life
insurance that life insurance.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Is tax free.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
It is income tax free, it is not transfer tax free.
That means that if I have a five hundred thousand
dollars death benefit, that upon my death, that death benefit
is part of my gross taxable estate unless the policy
(15:01):
was owned by a life insurance trust. So if you
have life insurance, whether it's term, whole, life, universal, you
need to get that in a trust. Because even though
you may be far below the estate tax threshold today, that.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Changes with each administration.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
So be super careful that that death benefit doesn't get
caught up in the gross taxable estate.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Those of us who have special.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Needs loved ones need to think about implementing a supplemental
needs trust. If I have a child who's developmentally disabled,
I don't want to go old school and leave them
out of the estate plan, leaving everything to his brother.
Because his brother may have the best of intentions. But
(16:00):
what if the brother is in a car accident or
a divorce. Now, the money that he's holding in this
old school gentleman's agreement for his brother is, you know,
to the four corners of the earth. So consider a
supplemental needs trust where your special needs loved one can
(16:20):
benefit from the estate without the assets counting against them
for eligibility purposes.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
So to be clear, I want to make sure and
I think I asked you this before and you said, yes,
you can have a few trusts.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Most people should have a few different trusts. We have
a few different you know, kettles going on out there
that we need to fire up. And those of us
with real estate, a primary residence, a condo, a co
op investment property, you need to have a special trust
(16:59):
for that so that you're not subject to lawsuits. You know,
if you have a fancy of vacation property two hours
away from you and you're not there every day of
the week, that's an attractive nuisance. And if someone breaks
into your property and hurts themselves. In New York State,
(17:23):
we are the trial lawyer's capital of the world, I think.
And there are theories of liability for that person who
broke into my home and hurt themselves. So we want
to wrap that up into an asset protection themselves.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
They're going to sue you, of.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Course they will. This is New York call wake up,
you know.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
So a question comes up, how do we know what
type of trust to use? How do we know whether
an LLC is going to do the job, and you
know it's not capable of having a quick three minute answer.
I'm just trying to sensitize you to all of the
different trusts that are out there. But I think I
(18:12):
do a good job. In my book, The Smart Woman's
Guide to Building and Protecting Wealth. It's available at Barnes
and Noble, on Amazon, I think some other places. And
in the book we dial into what type of trust
(18:33):
is going to make sense for you and your family.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Here's the Bible, no doubt about it. Let me ask
a question. It says A Smart Woman's Guide to Building.
And I read the book, but I'm not a woman
this week.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
You're not a woman, and you've brought this what's the thought?
You've brought this up before?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
So the Smart Woman's Guide there is no separate internal
revenue code for women, right, So we're talking about laws,
excuse me, that affect everyone. But I'm writing it from
a woman's perspective because I think as women, we are
(19:16):
the CEOs of our famili's emotional and psychological well being.
We know our loved ones strengths and weaknesses and what
they meet may need later on after our passing to
keep them from being.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Tricked by outsiders.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
To keep them from being in conflict with family members.
What if you know, I have a child living in
the home with me, how do we smooth things over
that the other two children are not evicting that child
upon my death. You know, we need to approach this
(20:03):
a little thoughtfully, with a nuanced approach. So for that
child who's living with me, maybe I say in the
trust that we leave the home three ways, sub check
two Susie's right to remain there for X period of time.
(20:26):
Maybe I want to wait till my youngest grandchild has
graduated from high school so they're not uprooted, and during
that time she's going to pay the carrying costs, on.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
And on and on.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
You So you want to spell out the things where
you imagine there might be conflict. And another thing that women,
I know, consider when we're doing the estate planning. What
happens if I I die first, you know, And I
(21:04):
think it's very common. I see it in my practice
that the surviving husband will remarry. And what can I
do at this point in my planning to protect my
children from that new wife later barring my children from
(21:27):
the house and getting my husband to add her name
to the deed of the house, so we can do
that within the trust. By saying Anne and Bill put
the home in the trust, Mary, Susie and Johnny are
the beneficiaries. We retain the right to change beneficiaries, but
(21:48):
only between and amongst our lineal descendants. And with that
magic sentence in the trust, I am blocking that future
possible go go answer that he may take up with.
She does not meet that definition, so she can't.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Be a party. Where did you learn this stuff?
Speaker 3 (22:13):
You know what you learn that's weird from the twenty
thousand clients, more so than from law school, because you
see the best of people and you see the worst
of people. And we build guard rails to keep stranger's
hands out of your pockets. And that's what it's all about.
(22:35):
I want to get to a question that was emailed
this week, and you may be listening. I haven't gotten
a chance to reply to your email. It's a listener
in New Jersey asking me for a recommendation for a
New Jersey attorney. And I have a wonderful he's brilliant
(23:00):
attorney in New Jersey who I have for years referred
quite a lot of clients to and in the past
two years I have had many, many, many complaints about
him not returning calls and about communication, and my clients
(23:24):
that I referred to him had questions and they didn't
feel that the questions were fully answered. So a this
person is permanently not going to be referred by me
to anyone.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Who needs an attorney in New Jersey. Number one.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Number two, I am at this point without a good
attorney to refer to in New Jersey. My practice is
limited to New York State. So if you are a
New Jersey listener and you have an asset protect attorney
that you absolutely love, please let me know about it.
(24:06):
Visit me on Instagram that's at my lawyer and and
message me with the contact of your beloved attorney in
New Jersey.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
That's definitely not something that you do. You are one
buttoned up person. Your people call back. You're thorough, totally.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
And utterly you know what.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
And I think it's important to be clear about expectations.
You know, when you initially meet with a client, you're
really they're interviewing you, right, and you need to be clear.
And I tell people right off the bat if you
call me in the office. You will absolutely not get
(24:50):
me on that first call because I am in a meeting.
I think it would be a very scary sign if
I call a lawyer for the first time and they
are immediately available, right like Ghostbusters. They're sitting around waiting
for the phone who ring. But I will call you
(25:11):
back within a day. If you have a one off question,
send me an email, send me a message on Instagram,
and I will get back to you very quickly with
the answer. If you need to speak with me, make
an appointment for a five minute phone call the following morning. Okay,
(25:32):
super clear. So we're not playing phone tag with each other.
So I want to mention something that comes.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Up a lot who has been on.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Social media sites and you see a pop up for
a dead friend's birthday, you know, So part part of
all of this planning head is today where we're pretty
much all on social media. We need to leave a
(26:07):
list of our log ins with all of our estate
planning and asset protection paperwork so that our loved ones
can go in there and pull things down at the
appropriate time.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
Should also have about passwords and things. I mean, you know,
if you're a loved one. My daughter knows everything about it.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
Yeah, and I think we've talked about this on the
show before. You want to have a family password to
protect against scam artists in this day of AI where
they can copy your grandchild's voice and it sounds like
your grandchild calling you that they're in a tough situation.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
And need you to wire money right away.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
Right, that is serious. We had a bunch of articles
on how people have gotten, especially older.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
People one percent.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
At this point, I would like to exercise a point
of personal privilege and take this opportunity to wish my
cousin Dan Clabby a very, very happy birthday. Danny is
(27:21):
an amazing person, one of my favorite people in the world.
Absolutely lights up every room that he goes into. He
is seven years my senior, and as kids, that was
a big deal. He had a paper route and I
thought that was the most exciting important thing in the world.
(27:41):
And you know what he would do with some of
his money. He would buy me little things. He would
buy me a set of color forms, And I think,
what kind of you know, teenage guy would do that
for his annoying little cousin. So Danny, very happy birthday
from your annoying little cousin.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
I'm not young anymore, but I am still little.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
So you have the color forms.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
I lost the color forms. I would love to find
some more color forms.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
Hear that out there, all right?
Speaker 3 (28:17):
So with that, I hope that you've gotten something out
of the topics we discussed. If there's something you want
me to cover next week, please reach out to me
on Instagram, my lawyer and at my lawyer and or
give the office a call to make an appointment to
sit down with me. Bring your existing documents in and
(28:42):
I guarantee we can shape them up to better protect
your loved ones and to keep strangers hands out of
your pockets.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
You can visit me in Bayside.
Speaker 3 (28:56):
You can visit me in Poor Jefferson or in the
cap but Old District. You can visit me in Albany,
but be sure to tell the folks scheduling the appointment
where you would like to go, so you're not sitting
in Albany and I'm in.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
Poor Jefferson and we are something warm.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
So again I want to encourage you check out the
book Building and Protecting Wealth on Amazon.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I think they have an excerpt that you can read.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
And for those of you who do buy it, you
can use the purchase price as a credit toward your
estate planning. With that, I hope you all have a
great day everyone, Thanks Paul, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
The preceeding program was sponsored by New York Priority Medical Care.
The preceeding was a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed.
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