February 15, 2026 • 30 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The following is a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed. The following program is sponsored by New
York Priority Medical Care.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Now it's time for the Laws of Your.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Money, a weekly call in show with legal tips to
help you protect your money. Here's your host and Margaret Caroza.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Hello, and welcome to the Laws of your Money. This
is a program dedicated to protecting you from legal and
financial mayhem. When I think of personal finance, and we're
all students to some degree of personal finance, the single
(00:48):
most important factor is protecting yourself legally, Because what does
it matter how diligently or brilliantly I save and invest
if there is a greater than forty percent chance of
losing assets to a long term illness, an expensive divorce taxes.
(01:12):
This can be estate taxes, capital gains taxes, not to
mention ordinary lawsuits. You all know that we are living
in the most litigious society that the world has ever known,
So it is incumbent upon all of us to learn
(01:34):
how to protect ourselves legally, to keep Screwball's hands out
of our pockets, out of our wallets and out of
our lives. I am asset protection attorney and Margaret Carosa,
joined today by my esteemed colleague and co host, the
(01:54):
Reverend Paul Slatkus.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Welcome back to.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
The program, Paul, Thanks am Margaret. Happy Valentine's Day, insane
to you.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
So what did you and Ivy do for Valentine's Day? Well,
wen you go out to an expensive restaurant.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
No, we didn't. We didn't. We don't do that that often.
We cook a lot at home. And so I had
actually purchased something at the Lego store for her penguin
kind of two penguins, and it's a puzzle, and we
were going to do it, probably do it today, put
(02:33):
it together. And I bought they have a loved One Botanicals,
and I bought that for my daughter and my granddaughter,
so a nice gift. And then she cooked. We bought
lamb chops on sale and made some mashed potatoes.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
And so you cooked the meal together?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
We definitely no, No, I was at the toy show.
She cooked the meal and it was all done, and
I came home at eight.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
And if you had a lot of money, if you
had to put a price tag on the meal.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
What do you think it was?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Oh, I'd say it's thirty dollars.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Oh, two for two And if you went out, that
would be like two hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Yes, And today's restaurant pricing for the odorv alone, it's
almost thirty dollars out of hand.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
And you know what, I would not go out to
eat on Valentine's Day if you paid me. You know
they're rushing you, trying to get you in and out.
So we didn't go out to eat either. And every
year I make it a point and ask Bill not
to get me anything. I just I think it's silly.
(03:43):
You know, A card is nice. I don't want someone
necessarily buying flowers or buying an expensive gift. It's just silliness.
But I told you, Paul, a couple of years ago,
I woke up.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
And on the kitchen counter was a.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Bouquet of flowers. I thought, Okay, I wish he hadn't
done this. And one of the reasons I wish he
hadn't done this is because it was supermarket flowers with
that gross plastic and multi colored, and there was like
two blue spray painted carnations.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
In the mix. So no, he didn't do well. But
I thought, you know what, and don't be a jerk,
be gracious.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
So I took out a very nice vase and I
took the plastic off and I cut them down. I
did the best I could. I secretly threw away the
blue carnations and it was okay. I put it on
the dining room table where I was. I was actually
in the middle of writing the latest book, The Smart
(04:56):
Woman's Guide to Building and Protecting Wealth of aailable on Amazon.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
So while I'm writing the book at the dining room.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Table with the flowers nicely cut and put in a oz,
he comes through the dining room to get to the
kitchen to get his coffee, and I said, Bill, thank
you for the flowers, and he just mumbled you're welcome.
And then I hear my then teenage son, Billy, screaming,
(05:25):
did anyone see flowers on the kitchen counter? So he
bought them to give them to someone at school, and
it was like a sitcom. I just assumed that they
were for me from Bill, and Bill did not cop
to the flowers. Yeah, so poor Billy didn't get breakfast.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
You're married for one hundred years and it's still the
happiest marriage you could ever match.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Oh boy, yeah, So I hope Bill's not listening. He's
not going to be pleased that I shared that story.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
But it's all good. I have a laugh over it.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Do you know that Valentine's Day is the number one
day in the entire calendar year for engagements. Oh so today,
I think we should congratulate the many couples that just
got engaged yesterday.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Wow, congratulations all And I will throw something in there.
I do weddings, wedding and I love to do them.
I just did somebody out at the super Bowl.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
So cool.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
And how can people get in touch with you, Paul
for a wedding?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Call me directly nine one seven six eight seven one
seven nine zero, very, it's your wedding. I just want
to officiate am ordained minister and the State of New York.
And I'm always I'm a good news guy. So I'm
so happy when some people get married and are in heaven.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
Well before calling Paul.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Okay, yeah, because check with Anne first.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
I want use smart to protect yourselves legally. There is
no cohort of the population less legally protected than an
engaged couple, and you know you just made a lifelong
commitment to someone. A cynic might say that you're never
(07:21):
going to love them more than you do at that
point in time. Yet that person has no legal ability
to make medical decisions for you. They have no legal
right to remain in the home if you die during
(07:41):
the engagement. So you really need to unless the engagement
is going to be super quick, you want to do
some interim legal planning. Go onto my website, download a
healthcare proxy, give each other the ability to to make
medical decisions in the event of a hospitalization.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
You know people don't think about that. Go on to
my lawyer and.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Dot com and you can download some of these advanced directives.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
They should be teaching us in reverend school. Ye, I
mean that's something you tell so I tell people that
you know you got a forty percent chance that you're
not going to stay married.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
I say that to me.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
No, that's tough.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I mean, obviously, And we're not going to get into
this in detail today, but you need to think about
a prenup right. A prenup is not just for the
wealthy party. A prenup, a good prenup is designed to
give financial security to both parties. There are arguments that
(08:49):
are going to come up during the marriage. You don't
want to have to worry about being homeless, being you know,
kicked to the curb with no money in the event
that the marriage doesn't work out. You want to have
some security and that's going to make for a happier marriage.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
To have mentals a serious it's a serious commitment and
then children. I mean you serious when you get married.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Well, yes, and you know we want you to keep
the cost of the wedding down. You know what is worse,
ladies and gentlemen, than coming home from a honeymoon to
a bunch of credit cards for a one day party. Right,
(09:34):
I don't you have a small, modest ceremony and do
it up, you know, for a big fifth wedding anniversary
or a tenth wedding anniversary. When Bill and I got married,
I tried so hard to keep the costs to a minimum,
and we had disposable cameras instead of hiring a photographer.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
I thought that would be fun.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
We put like eight of them at every table, and yeah,
we did, unfortunately, get a lot of pictures of people's.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Private situations.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Wild crowd.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah, they didn't make it into the book, but for
the most part, super happy with all of the pictures. Okay,
so what do you do if you are the parent
of a child who just got engaged and you're not
wild about your child's new fiance.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
What can you do? Do you say anything? Or do
you do? You just shut your mouth.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
That's a tough one.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
I think you have to shut your mouth.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
That's I think. You know.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
I have clients, unfortunately who don't like their children's spouses,
and they don't like their children's fiances.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
As as good as it gets.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
As a parent, if you really believe you have a
reason not to trust this person, then you're going to
re examine your own estate planning. You can't control what
your adult child does. They want to throw their lot
in with this person, They.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
Want to share everything.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Maybe they're allergic to doing a prenuptial agreement. That's their business.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
But what you can and probably should do if you have.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Big concerns is redo your own planning to say I
give everything to Mary, Susie and Johnny as their separate property,
not to be co mingled with a spouse or partner.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
So that's a big step in.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Keeping assets separate because what you receive through a gift
or an inheritance should be separate property in the event
of a marital dissolution, but that sometimes goes by the
wayside if the child puts their spouse or significant other.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
On the asset. So that's just a little heads up.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
The other tip if you have cause for concern about
the new person in your family, is that any financial
help that you give to the child paying for the
wedding or a down payment on a house, you should
characterize it as a loan so that if things go south,
(12:41):
you can call the loan in and the soon to
be X doesn't receive half of that asset. But these
are you know, I come back to the book The
Smart Woman's Guide to Building and Protecting Wealth because these
are issues I think that resonate with women, particularly. How
(13:04):
are we going to achieve an objective? How are we
going to protect the people in our families in a
nuanced manner without starting World War three? How can we
tinker around the edges to accomplish what we want without
(13:24):
throwing a hand grenade into relationships? Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Definitely?
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Okay, we are going to switch gears now. I believe
we have a very special guest joining us today, Paul,
and we have registered dietitian Brittany Borneman. And Brittany has
a practice based on Long Island counseling individuals and families.
(13:55):
She does workplace seminars about easy things that we can
do to eat more mindfully and to promote health. You
are and Bill is an internist and a cheriatrician and
he's always telling his patients that what you put into
(14:20):
your mouth is half of the battle, or what you
don't put into your mouth. So joining us is Brittany Bornman.
Welcome to the program.
Speaker 5 (14:32):
Brittany, good morning, Thank you for having me. I'm super
excited to be here.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Oh a pleasure.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
So first in case I forget to ask you, how
can people get in touch with you? And how can
people get tips from you? Do you have an active Instagram?
Speaker 5 (14:54):
Yeah? So I do have my website Little Leaf Nutrition
dot com and you can go go on there and
schedule an appointment with me or a discovery call. I
do fifteen a minute free discovery call, So people can
you know, kind of connect with me, talk about what
they're looking for and see if we're a good fit.
I do have some blog segments on there as well.
(15:15):
And then I do have Instagram also Little Leaf Nutrition,
and I do update that perfect.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Okay, So I'm just gonna jump in, we don't have
a ton of time and ask you what.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Are like the three biggest mistakes that you see people
make with their nutrition.
Speaker 5 (15:38):
So I think that meal prepping, the lack of meal prepping,
is a very big one. You know, obviously everybody works
these days, they're busy. It's kind of easy to grab
for those convenience foods ordering, you know, when you're getting
home from work. So I think meal prepping is a
really big one. And then I think kind of leading
(15:59):
into that too is like around grocery shopping. So not
having a plan when you're going grocery shopping, going shopping
when you're hungry. So I always try to tell people
that try to keep a running list on your phone.
We all, you know, have our phones with us twenty
four seven these days, So keep your grocery list, keep
(16:21):
your staples, and then you can rotate off of that
as well. And definitely don't go to the supermarket super hungry,
because then you're gonna, you know, be influenced to buy
all these things that you necessarily didn't need and most
of the times, honestly, it does go to waste. We
either you know, have to throw it in the grass
in the trash because it's perishable, or it kind of
just sits in our cupboard and we don't really eat
(16:42):
it because it was kind of a on the go purchase.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Yeah, good tips, Brittany. And let me ask you, do
you ever kind of go off the rails and have
bad foods or do you toe the line one hundred
percent all the time?
Speaker 5 (17:03):
I am definitely not on the line one hundred percent
of the time. That's a big thing that I definitely
try to counsel people on is nutrition doesn't have to
be one hundred percent perfect. It just needs to be
that you're making the effort for it, and actually, you know,
trying to be perfect all the time, it actually leads
to more of like choosing things that you wouldn't necessarily
(17:28):
want to have just because you're feeling restrictive. So I
definitely have my moments. I'd say I'm kind of like
a eighty twenty maybe even sixty forty type of person
where most of my week I kind of stick to
a plan, But then there's definitely you know, a few
days or a few nights where I'm kind of off
of that and eating things that you would maybe perceive
it's unhealthy. But it's really about that balance.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
As I always say, don't let the perfect be the
enemy of the good. And I think too often we
have the best of intentions and then and when we
have a little slip up, we say, oh, screw it.
You know I'm going to start again next Monday, and
then it's the monday after that if we have in
our mind.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
I love that eighty twenty rule in so many areas
of our lives.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
So I think you have a very balanced approach, which
makes it more likely that your clients are going to succeed.
So I hope that folks reach out to Brittany learn
more about her common sense tips, and I hope Brittany
(18:35):
you'll be able to be back with us from time
to time and keep us on track nutritionally.
Speaker 5 (18:43):
Absolutely, Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
Take care, have a great day.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Great And you know someone's asked me this question. I
think you're the right person to answer this. Okay, a trust,
this is how they felt. A trust is not the
only way to avoid probate. I can put my daughter
on this deed as a joint owner.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Okay, joint ownership of real estate people is the worst
of both worlds.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
Right.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
If I, as the parent, am on the deed, I
own half of the property. If I have to go
into a nursing home, if I have a catastrophic long
term care expense, they can put a lean on my half.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
The part that I put in my.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Daughter's name, if she is divorced, her soon to be
ex husband can go after it.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
So that is not the way to do it.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
And the half that I put in my daughter's name
is going to be subject to capital gains taxes because
the gift of an appreciated asset goes to the new
owner with what's called carry over basis for capital gains
(20:04):
tax purposes. So joint ownership is never, in my humble opinion,
the way to go. Instead, what do we want, Paul.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Separate? Put it in a will? Indeed? Trust?
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Yes, we want to trust. And the question is what
kind of trust? The question is not whether or not
I need a trust. The question is what type of
trust do I need? So I encourage you again, am
I plugging the book today?
Speaker 4 (20:39):
I am?
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Because there are many answers to all of these important
questions in the book The Smart Woman's Guide to Building
and Protecting Wealth, available on Amazon or on Barnes and
Noble dot com, and you can read about and get
a fuller idea of what type of trust is going
(21:01):
to work best for your family. Did you do your
trust planning fifteen years ago, Well, you need to revisit
it because the trusts you did, let's say in two
thousand and five or twenty ten, were designed to reduce
(21:24):
your gross taxable estate below a lower exemption threshold. And
what we did back in the day was tough medicine.
We had to embrace a built in capital gains hit
in order to get these assets out of the gross
(21:45):
taxable estate. So the mental image that I have, you're
at a carnival playing whack a mole, and you used
to have to pick your poison between a forty percent
of state tax or an eighteen percent combined state and
federal capital gains tax, so you willingly ate the poison
(22:06):
pill with the built in capital gains tax. Fast forward
to twenty twenty six, where the federal estate tax threshold
is fifteen million and New York is a little bit
above seven. Now we can quote unquote afford to have
more assets tip back into the gross taxable estate without
(22:33):
having to pay taxes, provided that we're below those thresholds.
And the benefit that the next generation gets is all
of the capital gains get eliminated. And that's by virtue
of the Internal Revenue Code Section ten fourteen. So I
(22:53):
really encourage people to revisit your trust planning so you
get maximum tax expediency elimination. We don't want to use
the word avoidance. That's illegal for the next generation while
also avoiding probate.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
So are there annual maintenance fees with a trust?
Speaker 3 (23:18):
I think there is, you know, a very pervasive stream.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
Of thought out there that there are.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Annual maintenance fees. There should not be. And if you're
dealing with a reputable attorney, you have a trust, you
pay legal fees to have this trust created. There are
some things you can do on your own. I don't
think a trust is one of them. It's like doing
(23:47):
my own electrical wiring.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Right, So you.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Want to engage an attorney, work with the attorney, create
the trust. You'll pay the legal fees for the creation
of the trust, but you don't and you shouldn't be
paying annual fees. That's silliness. If you have a good
relationship with your attorney, I encourage clients shoot me an email.
(24:13):
If you have a question that comes up four years
down the road, five years down the road, shoot me
an email through the website, send me a message on
Instagram at my lawyer and ask me a question. Better
to ask a question than to think you know something
(24:35):
and make a dicey decision.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
You can change your trust right whenever you want, or.
Speaker 4 (24:40):
No, Well, that depends.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
So in New York State, there are three ways to
get into an irrevocable trust. You have a judicial reformation,
you would have to bring it to court.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
You have statutory.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Reformation if all of the parties to the trust are
on board, but that's often not the case. If I
have three children who are the beneficiaries of my trust,
and one of them has developed a problem, it could
be a gambling issue, a substance abuse issue. They are
(25:26):
a financial train wreck. It turns out I want to
go into that trust and say, Okay, they still get.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
One third, but that one third is going.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
To be structured so that they receive it at the
rate of let's say five percent each year for twenty years.
I want to be able to put my hands back
in the till and reimagine how the distribution is going
to work. The best way to give ourselves that opportunity
(26:02):
is when we are creating the trust. We want to
retain and forgive the legal ease. But you need to
hear it. You want to retain something called a special
power of appointment that enables me down the road to
make changes to the trust, who the beneficiaries are going
(26:27):
to be, and how they receive the asset. But we
don't want to leave that open ended. We don't want
to say that Bill and I can change the beneficiaries
to anyone in the world. You know why I don't
want that, Paul, I'll tell you, Okay, if I die first,
(26:49):
I believe he will remarry. Okay, it's just going to happen.
And I also believe that this new person from day
one is trying to get her name on the deed
to the house and is trying to, you know, get
my assets. So in order to block this hypothetical future person,
(27:13):
the trust special power of appointment should read I retain
the ability or the grand tours retain the ability to
remove and replace the named remainder men between and amongst
their lineal descendants and trusts for their benefit only. So
(27:37):
that means I can add grandkids. I can create a
trust for a special needs child or grandchild. If someone
turns out to be on the autism spectrum, I can
have a little supportive trust built for that special need.
But my husband's new special friend down the road does
(28:03):
not meet that definition and therefore cannot be named as
a beneficiary.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
This is why you need a lawyer who knows what
they're talking about.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
I think you know all of the things that keep
us up at night, and I venture to guess that
these things keep women up at night.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
More. We are worried about.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
The security of our children, of our grandchildren. We know
everyone's secrets. And again, this estate planning and asset protection
is our last act as a parent, and I think
it deserves a thoughtful approach, and it's worth wading through
(28:47):
a little bit of a legal education in order to
best protect our family for generations.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
And back to the book.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
No, back to the book. There's a ton of.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Free legal advice in here that you can use right
away to increase your level of wealth. If you have
a financial train wreck in your life that you want
to magically change into a cheap skate. Buy them the book.
It has a ton of great advice, and visit me
on Instagram at my lawyer Ann and I hope to
(29:24):
see you soon in one of the offices Albany, Poor Jefferson,
or Base Side. Take care, everyone, have a great day.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
The preceding program was sponsored by New York Priority Medical Care.
The preceeding was a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed.
The following is a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed. The following program is sponsored by New
York Priority Medical Care.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Now it's time for the Laws of Your.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Money, a weekly call in show with legal tips to
help you protect your money. Here's your host and Margaret Caroza.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Hello, and welcome to the Laws of your Money. This
is a program dedicated to protecting you from legal and
financial mayhem. When I think of personal finance, and we're
all students to some degree of personal finance, the single
(00:48):
most important factor is protecting yourself legally, Because what does
it matter how diligently or brilliantly I save and invest
if there is a greater than forty percent chance of
losing assets to a long term illness, an expensive divorce taxes.
(01:12):
This can be estate taxes, capital gains taxes, not to
mention ordinary lawsuits. You all know that we are living
in the most litigious society that the world has ever known,
So it is incumbent upon all of us to learn
(01:34):
how to protect ourselves legally, to keep Screwball's hands out
of our pockets, out of our wallets and out of
our lives. I am asset protection attorney and Margaret Carosa,
joined today by my esteemed colleague and co host, the
(01:54):
Reverend Paul Slatkus.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Welcome back to.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
The program, Paul, Thanks am Margaret. Happy Valentine's Day, insane
to you.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
So what did you and Ivy do for Valentine's Day? Well,
wen you go out to an expensive restaurant.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
No, we didn't. We didn't. We don't do that that often.
We cook a lot at home. And so I had
actually purchased something at the Lego store for her penguin
kind of two penguins, and it's a puzzle, and we
were going to do it, probably do it today, put
(02:33):
it together. And I bought they have a loved One Botanicals,
and I bought that for my daughter and my granddaughter,
so a nice gift. And then she cooked. We bought
lamb chops on sale and made some mashed potatoes.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
And so you cooked the meal together?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
We definitely no, No, I was at the toy show.
She cooked the meal and it was all done, and
I came home at eight.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
And if you had a lot of money, if you
had to put a price tag on the meal.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
What do you think it was?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Oh, I'd say it's thirty dollars.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Oh, two for two And if you went out, that
would be like two hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Yes, And today's restaurant pricing for the odorv alone, it's
almost thirty dollars out of hand.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
And you know what, I would not go out to
eat on Valentine's Day if you paid me. You know
they're rushing you, trying to get you in and out.
So we didn't go out to eat either. And every
year I make it a point and ask Bill not
to get me anything. I just I think it's silly.
(03:43):
You know, A card is nice. I don't want someone
necessarily buying flowers or buying an expensive gift. It's just silliness.
But I told you, Paul, a couple of years ago,
I woke up.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
And on the kitchen counter was a.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Bouquet of flowers. I thought, Okay, I wish he hadn't
done this. And one of the reasons I wish he
hadn't done this is because it was supermarket flowers with
that gross plastic and multi colored, and there was like
two blue spray painted carnations.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
In the mix. So no, he didn't do well. But
I thought, you know what, and don't be a jerk,
be gracious.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
So I took out a very nice vase and I
took the plastic off and I cut them down. I
did the best I could. I secretly threw away the
blue carnations and it was okay. I put it on
the dining room table where I was. I was actually
in the middle of writing the latest book, The Smart
(04:56):
Woman's Guide to Building and Protecting Wealth of aailable on Amazon.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
So while I'm writing the book at the dining room.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Table with the flowers nicely cut and put in a oz,
he comes through the dining room to get to the
kitchen to get his coffee, and I said, Bill, thank
you for the flowers, and he just mumbled you're welcome.
And then I hear my then teenage son, Billy, screaming,
(05:25):
did anyone see flowers on the kitchen counter? So he
bought them to give them to someone at school, and
it was like a sitcom. I just assumed that they
were for me from Bill, and Bill did not cop
to the flowers. Yeah, so poor Billy didn't get breakfast.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
You're married for one hundred years and it's still the
happiest marriage you could ever match.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Oh boy, yeah, So I hope Bill's not listening. He's
not going to be pleased that I shared that story.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
But it's all good. I have a laugh over it.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Do you know that Valentine's Day is the number one
day in the entire calendar year for engagements. Oh so today,
I think we should congratulate the many couples that just
got engaged yesterday.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Wow, congratulations all And I will throw something in there.
I do weddings, wedding and I love to do them.
I just did somebody out at the super Bowl.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
So cool.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
And how can people get in touch with you, Paul
for a wedding?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Call me directly nine one seven six eight seven one
seven nine zero, very, it's your wedding. I just want
to officiate am ordained minister and the State of New York.
And I'm always I'm a good news guy. So I'm
so happy when some people get married and are in heaven.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
Well before calling Paul.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Okay, yeah, because check with Anne first.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
I want use smart to protect yourselves legally. There is
no cohort of the population less legally protected than an
engaged couple, and you know you just made a lifelong
commitment to someone. A cynic might say that you're never
(07:21):
going to love them more than you do at that
point in time. Yet that person has no legal ability
to make medical decisions for you. They have no legal
right to remain in the home if you die during
(07:41):
the engagement. So you really need to unless the engagement
is going to be super quick, you want to do
some interim legal planning. Go onto my website, download a
healthcare proxy, give each other the ability to to make
medical decisions in the event of a hospitalization.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
You know people don't think about that. Go on to
my lawyer and.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Dot com and you can download some of these advanced directives.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
They should be teaching us in reverend school. Ye, I
mean that's something you tell so I tell people that
you know you got a forty percent chance that you're
not going to stay married.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
I say that to me.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
No, that's tough.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I mean, obviously, And we're not going to get into
this in detail today, but you need to think about
a prenup right. A prenup is not just for the
wealthy party. A prenup, a good prenup is designed to
give financial security to both parties. There are arguments that
(08:49):
are going to come up during the marriage. You don't
want to have to worry about being homeless, being you know,
kicked to the curb with no money in the event
that the marriage doesn't work out. You want to have
some security and that's going to make for a happier marriage.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
To have mentals a serious it's a serious commitment and
then children. I mean you serious when you get married.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Well, yes, and you know we want you to keep
the cost of the wedding down. You know what is worse,
ladies and gentlemen, than coming home from a honeymoon to
a bunch of credit cards for a one day party. Right,
(09:34):
I don't you have a small, modest ceremony and do
it up, you know, for a big fifth wedding anniversary
or a tenth wedding anniversary. When Bill and I got married,
I tried so hard to keep the costs to a minimum,
and we had disposable cameras instead of hiring a photographer.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
I thought that would be fun.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
We put like eight of them at every table, and yeah,
we did, unfortunately, get a lot of pictures of people's.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Private situations.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Wild crowd.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah, they didn't make it into the book, but for
the most part, super happy with all of the pictures. Okay,
so what do you do if you are the parent
of a child who just got engaged and you're not
wild about your child's new fiance.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
What can you do? Do you say anything? Or do
you do? You just shut your mouth.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
That's a tough one.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
I think you have to shut your mouth.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
That's I think. You know.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
I have clients, unfortunately who don't like their children's spouses,
and they don't like their children's fiances.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
As as good as it gets.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
As a parent, if you really believe you have a
reason not to trust this person, then you're going to
re examine your own estate planning. You can't control what
your adult child does. They want to throw their lot
in with this person, They.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
Want to share everything.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Maybe they're allergic to doing a prenuptial agreement. That's their business.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
But what you can and probably should do if you have.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Big concerns is redo your own planning to say I
give everything to Mary, Susie and Johnny as their separate property,
not to be co mingled with a spouse or partner.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
So that's a big step in.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Keeping assets separate because what you receive through a gift
or an inheritance should be separate property in the event
of a marital dissolution, but that sometimes goes by the
wayside if the child puts their spouse or significant other.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
On the asset. So that's just a little heads up.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
The other tip if you have cause for concern about
the new person in your family, is that any financial
help that you give to the child paying for the
wedding or a down payment on a house, you should
characterize it as a loan so that if things go south,
(12:41):
you can call the loan in and the soon to
be X doesn't receive half of that asset. But these
are you know, I come back to the book The
Smart Woman's Guide to Building and Protecting Wealth because these
are issues I think that resonate with women, particularly. How
(13:04):
are we going to achieve an objective? How are we
going to protect the people in our families in a
nuanced manner without starting World War three? How can we
tinker around the edges to accomplish what we want without
(13:24):
throwing a hand grenade into relationships? Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Definitely?
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Okay, we are going to switch gears now. I believe
we have a very special guest joining us today, Paul,
and we have registered dietitian Brittany Borneman. And Brittany has
a practice based on Long Island counseling individuals and families.
(13:55):
She does workplace seminars about easy things that we can
do to eat more mindfully and to promote health. You
are and Bill is an internist and a cheriatrician and
he's always telling his patients that what you put into
(14:20):
your mouth is half of the battle, or what you
don't put into your mouth. So joining us is Brittany Bornman.
Welcome to the program.
Speaker 5 (14:32):
Brittany, good morning, Thank you for having me. I'm super
excited to be here.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Oh a pleasure.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
So first in case I forget to ask you, how
can people get in touch with you? And how can
people get tips from you? Do you have an active Instagram?
Speaker 5 (14:54):
Yeah? So I do have my website Little Leaf Nutrition
dot com and you can go go on there and
schedule an appointment with me or a discovery call. I
do fifteen a minute free discovery call, So people can
you know, kind of connect with me, talk about what
they're looking for and see if we're a good fit.
I do have some blog segments on there as well.
(15:15):
And then I do have Instagram also Little Leaf Nutrition,
and I do update that perfect.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Okay, So I'm just gonna jump in, we don't have
a ton of time and ask you what.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Are like the three biggest mistakes that you see people
make with their nutrition.
Speaker 5 (15:38):
So I think that meal prepping, the lack of meal prepping,
is a very big one. You know, obviously everybody works
these days, they're busy. It's kind of easy to grab
for those convenience foods ordering, you know, when you're getting
home from work. So I think meal prepping is a
really big one. And then I think kind of leading
(15:59):
into that too is like around grocery shopping. So not
having a plan when you're going grocery shopping, going shopping
when you're hungry. So I always try to tell people
that try to keep a running list on your phone.
We all, you know, have our phones with us twenty
four seven these days, So keep your grocery list, keep
(16:21):
your staples, and then you can rotate off of that
as well. And definitely don't go to the supermarket super hungry,
because then you're gonna, you know, be influenced to buy
all these things that you necessarily didn't need and most
of the times, honestly, it does go to waste. We
either you know, have to throw it in the grass
in the trash because it's perishable, or it kind of
just sits in our cupboard and we don't really eat
(16:42):
it because it was kind of a on the go purchase.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Yeah, good tips, Brittany. And let me ask you, do
you ever kind of go off the rails and have
bad foods or do you toe the line one hundred
percent all the time?
Speaker 5 (17:03):
I am definitely not on the line one hundred percent
of the time. That's a big thing that I definitely
try to counsel people on is nutrition doesn't have to
be one hundred percent perfect. It just needs to be
that you're making the effort for it, and actually, you know,
trying to be perfect all the time, it actually leads
to more of like choosing things that you wouldn't necessarily
(17:28):
want to have just because you're feeling restrictive. So I
definitely have my moments. I'd say I'm kind of like
a eighty twenty maybe even sixty forty type of person
where most of my week I kind of stick to
a plan, But then there's definitely you know, a few
days or a few nights where I'm kind of off
of that and eating things that you would maybe perceive
it's unhealthy. But it's really about that balance.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
As I always say, don't let the perfect be the
enemy of the good. And I think too often we
have the best of intentions and then and when we
have a little slip up, we say, oh, screw it.
You know I'm going to start again next Monday, and
then it's the monday after that if we have in
our mind.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
I love that eighty twenty rule in so many areas
of our lives.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
So I think you have a very balanced approach, which
makes it more likely that your clients are going to succeed.
So I hope that folks reach out to Brittany learn
more about her common sense tips, and I hope Brittany
(18:35):
you'll be able to be back with us from time
to time and keep us on track nutritionally.
Speaker 5 (18:43):
Absolutely, Thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
Take care, have a great day.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Great And you know someone's asked me this question. I
think you're the right person to answer this. Okay, a trust,
this is how they felt. A trust is not the
only way to avoid probate. I can put my daughter
on this deed as a joint owner.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Okay, joint ownership of real estate people is the worst
of both worlds.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
Right.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
If I, as the parent, am on the deed, I
own half of the property. If I have to go
into a nursing home, if I have a catastrophic long
term care expense, they can put a lean on my half.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
The part that I put in my.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Daughter's name, if she is divorced, her soon to be
ex husband can go after it.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
So that is not the way to do it.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
And the half that I put in my daughter's name
is going to be subject to capital gains taxes because
the gift of an appreciated asset goes to the new
owner with what's called carry over basis for capital gains
(20:04):
tax purposes. So joint ownership is never, in my humble opinion,
the way to go. Instead, what do we want, Paul.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Separate? Put it in a will? Indeed? Trust?
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Yes, we want to trust. And the question is what
kind of trust? The question is not whether or not
I need a trust. The question is what type of
trust do I need? So I encourage you again, am
I plugging the book today?
Speaker 4 (20:39):
I am?
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Because there are many answers to all of these important
questions in the book The Smart Woman's Guide to Building
and Protecting Wealth, available on Amazon or on Barnes and
Noble dot com, and you can read about and get
a fuller idea of what type of trust is going
(21:01):
to work best for your family. Did you do your
trust planning fifteen years ago, Well, you need to revisit
it because the trusts you did, let's say in two
thousand and five or twenty ten, were designed to reduce
(21:24):
your gross taxable estate below a lower exemption threshold. And
what we did back in the day was tough medicine.
We had to embrace a built in capital gains hit
in order to get these assets out of the gross
(21:45):
taxable estate. So the mental image that I have, you're
at a carnival playing whack a mole, and you used
to have to pick your poison between a forty percent
of state tax or an eighteen percent combined state and
federal capital gains tax, so you willingly ate the poison
(22:06):
pill with the built in capital gains tax. Fast forward
to twenty twenty six, where the federal estate tax threshold
is fifteen million and New York is a little bit
above seven. Now we can quote unquote afford to have
more assets tip back into the gross taxable estate without
(22:33):
having to pay taxes, provided that we're below those thresholds.
And the benefit that the next generation gets is all
of the capital gains get eliminated. And that's by virtue
of the Internal Revenue Code Section ten fourteen. So I
(22:53):
really encourage people to revisit your trust planning so you
get maximum tax expediency elimination. We don't want to use
the word avoidance. That's illegal for the next generation while
also avoiding probate.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
So are there annual maintenance fees with a trust?
Speaker 3 (23:18):
I think there is, you know, a very pervasive stream.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
Of thought out there that there are.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Annual maintenance fees. There should not be. And if you're
dealing with a reputable attorney, you have a trust, you
pay legal fees to have this trust created. There are
some things you can do on your own. I don't
think a trust is one of them. It's like doing
(23:47):
my own electrical wiring.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Right, So you.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Want to engage an attorney, work with the attorney, create
the trust. You'll pay the legal fees for the creation
of the trust, but you don't and you shouldn't be
paying annual fees. That's silliness. If you have a good
relationship with your attorney, I encourage clients shoot me an email.
(24:13):
If you have a question that comes up four years
down the road, five years down the road, shoot me
an email through the website, send me a message on
Instagram at my lawyer and ask me a question. Better
to ask a question than to think you know something
(24:35):
and make a dicey decision.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
You can change your trust right whenever you want, or.
Speaker 4 (24:40):
No, Well, that depends.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
So in New York State, there are three ways to
get into an irrevocable trust. You have a judicial reformation,
you would have to bring it to court.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
You have statutory.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Reformation if all of the parties to the trust are
on board, but that's often not the case. If I
have three children who are the beneficiaries of my trust,
and one of them has developed a problem, it could
be a gambling issue, a substance abuse issue. They are
(25:26):
a financial train wreck. It turns out I want to
go into that trust and say, Okay, they still get.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
One third, but that one third is going.
Speaker 3 (25:38):
To be structured so that they receive it at the
rate of let's say five percent each year for twenty years.
I want to be able to put my hands back
in the till and reimagine how the distribution is going
to work. The best way to give ourselves that opportunity
(26:02):
is when we are creating the trust. We want to
retain and forgive the legal ease. But you need to
hear it. You want to retain something called a special
power of appointment that enables me down the road to
make changes to the trust, who the beneficiaries are going
(26:27):
to be, and how they receive the asset. But we
don't want to leave that open ended. We don't want
to say that Bill and I can change the beneficiaries
to anyone in the world. You know why I don't
want that, Paul, I'll tell you, Okay, if I die first,
(26:49):
I believe he will remarry. Okay, it's just going to happen.
And I also believe that this new person from day
one is trying to get her name on the deed
to the house and is trying to, you know, get
my assets. So in order to block this hypothetical future person,
(27:13):
the trust special power of appointment should read I retain
the ability or the grand tours retain the ability to
remove and replace the named remainder men between and amongst
their lineal descendants and trusts for their benefit only. So
(27:37):
that means I can add grandkids. I can create a
trust for a special needs child or grandchild. If someone
turns out to be on the autism spectrum, I can
have a little supportive trust built for that special need.
But my husband's new special friend down the road does
(28:03):
not meet that definition and therefore cannot be named as
a beneficiary.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
This is why you need a lawyer who knows what
they're talking about.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
I think you know all of the things that keep
us up at night, and I venture to guess that
these things keep women up at night.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
More. We are worried about.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
The security of our children, of our grandchildren. We know
everyone's secrets. And again, this estate planning and asset protection
is our last act as a parent, and I think
it deserves a thoughtful approach, and it's worth wading through
(28:47):
a little bit of a legal education in order to
best protect our family for generations.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
And back to the book.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
No, back to the book. There's a ton of.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Free legal advice in here that you can use right
away to increase your level of wealth. If you have
a financial train wreck in your life that you want
to magically change into a cheap skate. Buy them the book.
It has a ton of great advice, and visit me
on Instagram at my lawyer Ann and I hope to
(29:24):
see you soon in one of the offices Albany, Poor Jefferson,
or Base Side. Take care, everyone, have a great day.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
The preceding program was sponsored by New York Priority Medical Care.
The preceeding was a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed.
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