The Woody Show May 9th 2023 Podcast

Redneck News, New Headlines, Personal Stories & More..

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
Let's due to the graphic nature ofdisappropriate listen to discretion. Is it fly
the Woody Show. I'm it's theWoody Show Insensitivity Training or the morning class

(00:38):
is now in session. Hey,good morning everybody, Good morning morning.
I'm gonna take Tuesday, May nine, twenty twenty three. Welcome to the
Woody Show. I'm Woody. That'sraving Greg Gory. Good morning, very
Woody. Menace is here? Hi? You really threw people off last week.

(01:00):
I was seeing some of the commentscoming in email and on the on
the social media comments when he didn'thave a hat on Menace without a hat.
But really true, It's like it'slike when I'm photographed without a hat.
What happened was I didn't wear ahat. Also, I couldn't find
the gel that morning, like anyhair product, so yeah, it just

(01:22):
looks It was just yeah, itdidn't look good. But whatever, it's
got a hat on this morning.I do what is that? I can't
and read with that stess, Oh, this is the Heart and Huntington hat.
Okay, with that tattoo parlor.Okay, they have a bunch of
locations. I just couldn't see theput the patch that from here yep.

(01:42):
Well, good morning, menace,good morning, there is Sea Bass.
Is this mean man's got a newtattoo? No a week? No,
you just gotta hat, Yeah,I just gotta hat. Good morning,
Sammy, good morning. We gotbored, We got Caroline. They're here
in the Woody Show production department,hold it down to in their thing.
Morgan is he here, Vaughan ishere. We just got a text.
Uh, the more Vaughan from that'sfrom Vaughan. Nice. He is an

(02:09):
interesting dude. Yes, I talkedwith him quite a bit at Sea bass
is Gathering. Yep. Yeah,I spent a lot of time to him.
A little bit better, Yeah,I spent a lot of time talking
to him some weather event that wehad gone to and he had his buddy
there who was on America's Got Talent. Yeah, that interesting dude. Yeah.
Anyway, so the phones are upat eight seven seven forty four so

(02:30):
you can be part of the conversationtoday. It is with the text over
to two two nine eight seven.You know when people were hoarding things during
the pandemic, and you know,toilet, paper, wife, any kind
of like disinfecting whatever. We're allpast that. But I've seen a lot
of stories recently about people smuggling thingsthat I wasn't aware that it was illegal

(02:53):
to smuggle. Um, Like,for example, it's a fruit roll up
smuggling operation. Did you see thepictures of this? Yes? No,
Yeah, So this couple from theUS okay, fluide Israel and we're caught
trying to smuggle three hundred and seventyfive pounds of fruit roll ups. That

(03:14):
would be why it's illegal, becauseyou have to declare you know, that's
obviously for the lots. Yeah,you would have to declare that. You
can't just bring stuff into another country. You have to sell it. You
can't you know that they have lots? Okay, Well maybe because I've never
even looked into doing that. Whythere's there's terrorists and border hum anyway,
So I guess they didn't rose thatwas the thing either, because I mean
it's just right there in their bag. Uh. They knew the demand for

(03:36):
them in Israel very high, andso they thought they'd make a few bucks
them. So pretty much all thestores in Israel are sold out, and
if you do find them, they'regoing for five dollars each. And that
is a lot that is not perbox, that is per fruit roll up.
Wow, you would think did youwould think that'd be like, okay,
let's just do some knockoffs, right, How hard can they be to
make? It's import some you canget a box of ten here for less

(03:59):
than three bucks, and they're sellingfor five dollars a piece. So why
the demand? Why talk is toblame? Because why and we'd talk about
this, people are obsessed with wrappingthem around a scoop of ice cream.
We talked about then almost like afondent. You put it over the top
of the ice cream and it likes, it becomes solid and it'll like shatter
like a like a hard candy ontop of that. Yeah, And so

(04:20):
that's why the rush on them.Customs agents in Israel seized the snacks.
They had multiple suitcases filled with nothingbut fruit roll ups. They're all loosen
there too, not all boxed up, just all loosen there. The guy
told him that he didn't even packme clothes so he had more room.
And they're not the only ones whogot busted. Another American couple was caught

(04:40):
with seventy pounds. Overall, Israelsays they've seized more than six hundred and
sixty pounds of just fruit roll ups. Jeez. Yeah, So how do
we get them into the country withoutgetting caught? I hide them in this
other stuff. Be better at hidingpace. Yeah, you gotta do like
that, you know, lie yourclothes with them. Yeah. Whoever makes

(05:01):
for rollpes who just like send them? Sure, I'm sure we could send
things to Israel. Yeah. Rememberthree years ago when Raby declared that we
were never going to see in allyou can eat buffet ever forever? Those
are never coming back, believe ordismissive of us saying back at some point

(05:23):
they're never coming back never. Well, not only did they come back,
they are more popular than ever.Not with this girl. A company that
tracks restaurant says this spring visits tothree leading buffets, Golden Corral, CC's,
and Pizza Ranch one hundred and fromtwenty twenty one, and that's more
growth than any other type of restaurant. Golden Corral specifically, their sales are

(05:46):
fourteen percent higher today than they wereeven before the pandemic. Never been to
one, never going to one.So nobody cares, you know, about
all the COVID crap anymore. Theydon't. But the other driving factor here
has cost. Yeah, value youYeah, because people are going to Buffet's
looking for value. It's a vacationfrom inflation, you know. Food.
He also Golden Crowl's hell it cheaptoo? Oh yeah yeah yeah. How

(06:10):
do you know? I said,I've never been in washing the pricing of
Golden Corral. What's the reason you'venever been to one? Because it always
looked like rup. I think theirads look good, ads look good,
the reality good. The reality ofGolden Crawl is not so great. I
haven't been. I mean I've drivenby and seeing the clientele. Oh wow's

(06:33):
hell yeah. Well, so here'sthe thing I had h I'd always judge
Golden Corral, and I was toldhow wrong I was and that I need
to go there and see it frommyself. Yeah. And then our one
buddy Tony was like, oh no, it's really good dogs. Yeah.
So I'm like all right, So, like you know, pinch, we
were there. It was close,and we think, oh, that'd be
quick. Sure, you know,we didn't have much time, you know

(06:55):
what I mean, like I mtsgo there, we can eat real quick,
dude. What it was like aflea market and they had and this
is like the dumbest thing I thinkfor a place like that, like because
you know, people were everybody sharingthe utensil, which is fine, like
the serving utensils, but they havethe chocolate fountain and it's behind This is
before COVID, it's behind plexiglass becauseand it had to put it up even

(07:15):
higher because the kids would walk upand just put their hand directly under the
chocolate waterfall. And people were doingall kinds of other stuff too, like
they were taking like a slice ofthe pizza from the buffet and they putting
it under the chocolate. Yeah,so that's pretty awesome. Remember that story
never again from last year where therewas the full on brawl at the Golden
Corral because they were low on steak. I get it, that's right,

(07:41):
Make sure it stops. That's right. Why I paid money to have that
steak. Burger King is just Sanassa. Nearly four hundred of their locations will
be closed by the end of theyear. I had that thought, you
know, I have this weird forthe burger king right off the exit by
my house. It probably although morepeople are there these days, my son

(08:03):
knows every word, and I didn'trealize there were so many different jingles,
but they have all those different like, b it's about the whopper, ones
about the chicken, one's about somethingelse, one's about he knows all whopper,
whopper, whopper, whopper or somethingblah blah blah blah whopper. But
that's big in sports. Yeah,yeah, a lot of them. He

(08:24):
knows all the ads. So restaurantbrands International the un Burger King. They
say their focus will now be onworking with smaller franchise ease and high quality
operators to develop existing restaurants that willoperate regionally under some local owners. They
have not yet said what stores butwe shut down or when it's going to
happen, so you can take overyour Burger King. Yeah, but Burger

(08:45):
King. But the companies have ityour way. Slogan is expected to remain
strong in stores that stay open better. It seems like they're more together right
now than they have been in youknow recent memory. Yeah, that's a
successful adj You know, I thoughtabout that, but I haven't really had
any fast food exactly, you know, even when you were eating fast food
while you stopping at the King.No, but I mean I would.

(09:09):
I like their their original We've talkedabout the original chicken sandwich. That's on
the torpedo roll. They're they're sheep, and you know they're not the highest
quality, but they're so goos,not just they're not there's not one like
convenient near me, and there's somany other places on the way to one,
right, you know, I can'twait. Yeah, well this this

(09:31):
one exit off where my house whereI go, you know, to get
get home. They they called HamburgerHill. Yeah, like every every fast
food place imaginable. It's all withinlike a three block radios too much competition.
Yeah, and they're like right acrossthe street from the Burger King is
a Wendy's. Right down from thatis uh you know, there's like a
well they got the Denny's trying togo, and then there's Taco bell right

(09:54):
next to the Taco bells Jack inthe Box. There's a McDonald's right there.
There's like all these different others Alocal yea Kings just getting blood.
Yeah. Raby Amtrak is partning withthe Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Broadway
show to bring its magic to trains. Okay, the company is gonna be
operating for Harry Potter theme trains betweenWashington, DC and Boston June twenty fifth,

(10:20):
So try anything. You get tosee decals of characters, stickers,
and a swirling clock to give visionsof time travel from the play on the
outside of the trains. So nothingon the inside, right, it's just
on the outside. It's like whenbut for the grand I am. It's

(10:43):
like when a when a professional sportsteam has like a partnership of the airline
and they have like one that's allthemed out that they travel on or whatever.
I'd rather ride the Hogwarts Express atUniversal Florida. Yeah, or you
can fly to Boston, New Yorkto watch the play for seven hours.
I will say on Hermione. Theoutside of the building for the play,
it is so elaborate. Would theybe like some bird's nest on the top

(11:07):
of it. I don't know.It looks pretty freaking cool though. That
would get me to go. Youknow. When I was in London,
it was almost like it was pullingme to it, Like I just accidentally
wandered by the Curse Child and thenI looked around. I'm like, whoa,
it's called the Force. WHOA?Yes, I was Star Wars forced
the Curse Child. Yeah, youfelt the Force? Yeah, I'm like,

(11:31):
how much money they just spend onthe outside. Alane, Yeah,
it's pretty crazy. Yeah, wellthere you go. I thought that,
what's that? What's that about thata Harry Potter nugget that she wasn't aware
of? What's the train platform?That's all popular? Nine Greg Dumma show,
it's coming up next. Hang up. The universe has a way of

(11:54):
leading you to where you're supposed tobe, just supposed to the wood he
shows. All right, welcome backeverybody. It is a Tuesday morning,
right, he's got nerd and out, Bill phill Us in and all the
latest happenings in the world of nerds. I mean, I'm sure you all
got your your weekly or daily bulletin. You know. I threw now like

(12:18):
you can sign up for USA Today. It's like, you know, top
headlines or whatever. Google alerts foralerts for weener right menas yep, I'm
sure you already have a lot ofyour current just in case it's filling any
of those gaps. Right, it'sgonna have that for us coming up.
Also, what do you show mailcall because some of the after hours voicemails
you've been leaving at eight seven sevenforty four, Woody Today, it's National
Teacher's Day. Teachers look at acouple of the holidays today. Anything you'd

(12:41):
like to say, seastday for NationalTeacher's Day. Oh, I should be
called National Heroes Day. We allright, I know you're Today It's National
butter Scotch Brownie Day. Never hadone love. I do love butter scotch.
I'd be willing to try it.Yeah. Why is butterscotch? You
know old people think it's good?Yeah, I mean because like old people

(13:05):
always have those candies. Candies,butter scotch is a delicious flavor. I
love it. It's National Lost SockMemorial Day. It's a National Moscato Day,
all right? Right, do youhave the nicknage version, Greg?
I do not. I think youwould find moscato was ascatto trashy go Greg's

(13:26):
it's a little it's sweet, hencethe NICKI minag. I mean that's not
a coincidence that it's her moscato.Yeah. Today is National Sleepover Day.
And if you want to get reallycrazy today, you guys, it's tear
the tags off mattresses. Who isthis a joke from the eighties? Look
out everybody, Hey, people leavethose stupid stickers up on their car.

(13:48):
I'm that driver's side window. Huh. You could take that off once you
get the car, you can takethe dealers not allowed to take it off.
You are allowed to. I haven'thad any luck though with the tags
when they're on pillows that are superlong. When I ripples off, I
end up ripping the pillow really.Yeah, opening the stitching those are even
like perforated a lot of times.Yeah, yeah, does amazing. Yeah,
because it's unsightly if they're sticking outfrom the pillowcase there as long as

(14:13):
a receipt. Yeah, why why? Exactly? All right? After hours
voicemails eight seven seven forty four.That's eight seven seven forty four. Woody.
Uh, didn't get a chance toplay this one yesterday, but here
we go. It's a it's adrunk after hours voicemail, drunk dole voicemail
U, and it's drunk girl show. Oh my gosh. I love you

(14:37):
guys. I have been following yousince I was legal to drive. I
love you guys so much. Iam incredible. It's okay, I want
to hear that. And I loveyou guys so much. I listen when
you guys are online I'm like,I'm on air, I'm on air,

(15:01):
and then I love podas again.I love you guys so much. I
have no power ranking. I loveyou guys so much. She loves us,
guys. I can't tell, thankyou. She had a request for
the for the horn. You tellshe's feeling really good? No pay yeah

(15:26):
good h eight seven seven forty four. This woman loves the show. But
well, thank goodness, I gotthrough the something goodness guacious. Well,
love you guys. Hi, myname is Sylvia. I've been listening to
you guys for years now and tryingto win something. Can't win crap anyhow,

(15:46):
Love greg Hey, love Woody cool. Yeah, you guys. Show
is great. The only thing Ihave a problem with this soft pornal crap.
Okay, I mean Jesus Christ,what are you guys in your forties
and you're still diddling around with that. You're married, you got kids.
There's young kids that listen that theydon't need all that disturbing. Love it

(16:07):
or not, it's not cool toair it out all the time anyhow.
I hope I win next time.Have a good one to take it easy.
Love you guys, love you,Bye bye, there you go.
I wonder if she was talking aboutthe game that Greg and Menis has played
for single to Mayo. Did sheconsidered that to be porn? That was
pretty porny that came up recently wasUtah, Yeah, where they had that

(16:30):
new law, right, and thatwas just discussing the news. Really,
I don't know anything. There's noway she got Rabies browser history. She's
a hacker, you know. Shesounded very technologically savvy. Leave you're after
I was voice mail anytime after tenam at eight seven, seven forty four.

(16:51):
This is nerd out with Raby andwhat's the latest there in the Nerd
news. Rabels So Dirty and threecame in on the lower end of expectations,
taking it one hundred and fourteen milliondollars at the box office, so
considerably less the Guardians two, butmore than Guardians one. Should continue to
make a lot of money as audiencereaction and word of mouth has been really,

(17:15):
really solid. Exit polls given themovie an A Cinema score. A
Marvel movie really hasn't had this typeof reaction since Endgame in twenty nineteen,
So Guardians will have one more weekendto enjoy at the top of the box
office before Fast X Yes races intotheaters on the nineteenth. You go,
heck, yeah, I haven't seenFast one through nine, so I'm concerned

(17:40):
that I'll be You're missing out belost Fast X all about it? Yeah,
what am I missing out on?Just the stunts, the energy.
It's about family Raby, which youknow well Guardians also about family, so
that's good. Uh huh. Butthis has cars, it does, so
thank you. Speaking of Marvel,there were some updates about some projects in

(18:00):
regards to the writer strike pre productionon the long long delayed Blade movie with
mahrshela Ali shutdown. Oh also great, who the hell knows what's happening with
that movie. But shooting is scheduledto start on two highly anticipated projects,
Deadpool three and Thunderbolts in the nextfew weeks, so they're going on is

(18:23):
scheduled. So maybe because Blade isstill in pre production and Thunderbolts in Deadpool
three are like out of the writingphase and ready to be on the shooting
phase, so maybe that's why they'regoing ahead. Outside of Marvel, the
final season of Stranger Things is notgoing to start filming as planned. Creaters
showrunners Matt and Ross Duffers said,quote, while we're excited to start production

(18:45):
with our amazing cast and crew,it's not possible during this strike. We
hope a fair deal is reached soonso we can all get back to work.
Until then, over and out,all right, stranger things shutting it
down, menaced. Have you seenany footage of the MTV Video and TV
Awards, Well, I watched someof it. Yeah. It was basically

(19:06):
like a throwback to COVID Awards.Yeah. Yeah, the most no audience,
Yeah, there are no percenters.I was actually enjoying it for a
little bit. Danny Guy, alittle bit old. Yeah, I fell
off. Yeah, I like you. I started watching it, but I
was like, nah, I justcan't do this. Yep that Some winners
did give some pre taped video acceptancespeeches, some didn't. Several pre taped

(19:30):
speeches by Pedro Pascal, who Ithink won three. Drew Barrymore would have
been the host. She will returnto host the show next year. Scream
Sick was the winner for Best Movieand the Last of Us was winner for
Best Show and the highlight was TomCruise accepting his award for Best Performance in
a Movie while flying a fighter jetawesome, so obviously recorded away before the

(19:53):
strike. Yes, indeed, Uh, this is pretty funny. Greg.
We've heard the Pixie song Where's MyMind thousands and thousands of times, and
in that song, Frank Blacks hasa very distinct stop for the song starts
yeah right right, And basically becauseof this new thing with Google Assistant on

(20:15):
Pixel phones, you don't have tosay hey Google to turn off your alarm
or snooze your alarm. But forsome reason this Pixie song Frank Blacks sang
stop has left with people's alarms ontheir phone. It turns them off.
Oh no. And so Reddit userstried it with other songs with prominent stops,

(20:37):
including mc hammers, you can't touchthis, Vanilla ICE's Ice, Ice
Baby Jane's Addictions stop. None ofit works other than I know. So
when they've found out about it,they simply wrote on their social sorry about
that, but that's so random andweird. Pixies, by the way,

(20:57):
playing this weekend at the Wind inLas Vegas, Well there you go.
That would be a fun show.Pixie several times they're great. One Frank
Black solo, Oh yeah, show. I'm rabiing for more nerds stuff.
Check out the NERD podcast at theWoody Show dot com. Nerd. All
right, thank you very much,Rabi, you got a dog? More.

(21:18):
Tuesday Morning Woody Show is next.Hang up for me, very quiet,
don't say anything. We'll be backpretty sort of simison still show.
I've had so many trees I couldeven tell you what trees dot h.
They've got herpies, so don't talk. But they can't give you herpies.

(21:41):
I'm gonna double now show. We'reinto another new hour of insensitivity training for
a politically correct world. It's Tuesdaymorning, everybody. Yeah, May ninth,
twenty twenty three. The other day, I'm like, it's like mid
May. Right, No, stillstarted out. Wait, it's time actually

(22:03):
going a little slowly. No,I just my frame of reference. This
is completely off. I don't knowwhy. Yeah, because my wife said
something the other day like my daughterhas twenty one days of school left.
Wow, God, really seems likeit just started. Yeah, and then
my son perked up because he's ina different school. He's like, hold
on, I'm like, dude,you gotta take weekends out of that.

(22:26):
Twenty one days from now it's twentyone school day. Yeah, but even
still I think it's like May sixthor something like that, May seventh.
Alright, I'm sorry, June sixthor June seventh, so that time is
flown by by. But just myframemorite reference on everything is just off.
Was this some kind in our ownworld? Here? You know? It's
the summer plans for them get jobs, you know, little little camps,

(22:49):
and then go visit some family andyou know, just be a kid.
Yeah, okay. I used togo to my grandmother's house every summer when
my cousins it ruled. It's somuch fun. We just lived with her
the whole summer. Well, hereon the Woody Show, we're just trying
to make it through this week.We're gonna start with today. Yeah,
I'm trying to make it through today. Yeah, let's just start with today.

(23:11):
Yeah. Hello, there's a greatgory. It is the butthole of
the week. It really is.I hate too. I'm just glad it
didn't fall asleep on the way here. It's more of the taint. The
buttholes is useful, does nothing.It's the useless day of the week.
Menace is here. We got asked, there's Sammy, Good morning board and
Caroline are here in the Woody Showproduction department doing their thing. We got

(23:33):
Morgan, we got Bond. Phonesare open at eight seven seven forty four
Woody. That's eight seven seven fortyfour Wooding. You can hit us up
with a text over to two twonine eight seven with a Mother's Day coming
up on Sunday, a Mother's Dayquestion, what's the dumbest thing for the
moms out there, what's the dumbestthing your kid did? We've been taking
stories on that. It's the dumbestthing. I mean, we've all done

(23:57):
dumb things. Sure, ass.But if you would ask your mom what's
the dumbest thing you did? Whatdo you think their answer would be?
I did ask my mom you did, because we had that topic coming up,
and she said, I don't knowwhat I would say. I don't
think you did dumb things. Ithink you need to think. Yeah,
maybe her memory sucks like your stuffher memory about I did. Well,

(24:22):
here, let me give you someoptions, right, how about the time.
Yeah, So, if if yougot something on that topic, you
can hit us up on the textover to two two nine eight seven on
our Facebook, Facebook dot com slashthe Woody Show just one of the things
that we're talking about. And uhyeah, so we got that. We
got a redneck news coming up.Uh brave. I wanted to ask you
because medicine I were talking about.Do you see that gross photo that Chris

(24:44):
Pratt posted of his baby. Idid not mind you guys see it.
I don't have to see it forshow purposes, so you can recap it.
It's a little baby tonail. Lookat that's it just looks. It
just looks like you know what itlooks like, um, like like a
dry chicken bone. It does.Yeah. Yeah, well the experts online
let's say that it is fungus.Okay, yeah, well I was gonna

(25:08):
say because doctor Brad for one ofMENACE's favorite shows, My Feet Are Killing
Me on TLC, says it doeslook like a toenail. Fu. We've
talked about that people these mangled feetso bad. Yeah, it doesn't even
look that bad. It doesn't.Sure. Yeah, to be honest,
it looks like an old lady foot. But he says it needs to get

(25:29):
it checked out by a pediatrist.That's like a millionaire fungus you know,
Yeah, it's not that bad.Um. The commercials for like the toenail
stuff, And I'm not at aperson who's easily grossed out, but it
does give me a douche jill.I don't like where they show like where
it looks like you're drawing something ontoyour toenail. It's like this anti fungus
stuff and then they'll go underneath thenail. Yeah. Oh that was the

(25:49):
worst one that was out like tenplus years ago, where this like little
cartoon fung guy. Yeah, dude, like cartoon character fungus, but like
walk up to the big toe butshe's standing there, lift the toe nail
like the hood of a car andthen jump in and it would slam shut
on top of him like that.That gave me a douche chill. But

(26:10):
I can look at this all day, like, you know, you definitely
get that taken care of, butyeah, take better clear your feet.
Honestly, I wouldn't even know iflike to go and I would just think,
Oh, it's my nail just reallydry or something. Does it need
lotion? Yeah that's not doctor worthy. Yeah, speaking of medical stuff,
so the latest report on Jamie Foxis that he stable. His condition is

(26:34):
not life threatening. Dot dot dotnow is the way it was phrased.
Whatever that means. Uh, doctors, our guests are doing more tests to
make sure he's gonna be okay,along him to believe the hospital, but
then he's told to keep his stresslevel down once he does get discharged,
Like why what could it be?They're very tight lift yea, why very

(26:55):
why so secretive? I don't know. It's in really bad shape, maybe,
I want to say, but peoplewant to be supportive, right,
you know, sportive and no,and there's no word on what the I
mean. Obviously I don't follow alot of these celebrity stuff, so she
would just take like wild guesses untilthey're forced to tell us what it is.
Year attack, I got to comeup with something like super embarrassing and

(27:19):
too like, no, guys,it's no, it's major hemorrhoids. Yeah,
I didn't bite my own penis off. You know what happened? Was
I see extreme blue balls? Yeah? Yeah, I masturbated so hard that
my penis came off. Yeah.They gotta get to see them, like
really, yeah, I scrolled themwent into a vacuum cleaner. Yeah,
oh terrible. You know, Uh, I had a friend that had like

(27:42):
a medical emergency and the family isbeing super secretive about it, and it
just makes everything worse because that's whatI was thinking, Well, because they
draw their own conclusions, wild stories, and then they end up hounding the
family when they want their privacy.Yeah, you know, like I mean
what I mean, just say whatit is. No, there's no like

(28:02):
solid what's the leading guests out there? A stroke? Stroke? Yeah?
But why not say that? Idon't know, maybe depending on you know,
they want him to be able torecover, so it's not like one
of these old his career's over kindof thing. Yeah, sure, you
know, sure, but then theysay, like, see where we're at
when he gets released, keep hisstress levels down. Yeah, maybe it
was a heart attack, could be, yeah, but isn't the strokes can

(28:26):
also be triggered by stress or No, I mean, I I don't even
know. Look like what I knowthey always say like it was a risk
of stroke and a heart attack whatever, Like is uh aneurysm? Like what
I don't know, Like when you'restress and your blood pressure or whatever spike
that causes a stroke. Really you'veheard about people going to chiropractors, Yes,

(28:48):
you know, and I don't knowif that's real or not. If
that's just like something people have saidlike, oh, I went to the
chiropractor, I got a neck adjustmentand it you know, led to that
gave me. I end up witha stroke because there was like some kind
of clowe or something that happened.I don't know. But then you have
the other one where people actually postthemselves in the hospital and the menaces in
my favorite, it's real vague,like no information. They're a point of

(29:10):
view of an ivy in their hand. Pray for me. Yeah, this
is not how I wanted to spendmy Tuesday, right, And then you
have what's going what it's just diarrhea, diarrhea, good solid guess off the
text of what's going on with JamieFox. It's the vaccine. Yeah,

(29:32):
okay, yeah, we're over thatstuff. It's Bill Gates five G that's
acting up in his body and it'striggered by stress. And yeah, hospital
grade, hospital grade diarrhea. Sowhat do you show if the most Matthew
don't every day it is keeping scoringa game of darts and today's redneck news

(29:56):
it's from Clearwater, Florida, whereyou have what started out as a beautiful
story about a woman who had beengiven up for adoption as a baby,
but then found out who her biologicalfather was and they connected through social media
and then finally met up in personday together, they got drunk together,

(30:18):
they did acid together. Wow,what you know, father, daughter did
all that stuff with my dad.Yeah, what a little girl has it?
You know? And then back atthe hotel, still tripping balls on
Asia, a series of sexual axeoccurred and at some point the chick started
to get her bearings, slithered offto the bathroom called her boyfriend. Now,
guys, imagine getting that call.The boyfriend called the cops. No,

(30:42):
wait, he didn't. He calledthe front desk of the hotel,
because that's what you do. Theysent security to the room and check it
out. And when they arrived,the dad, who we now know his
fifty three year old Ronald at Nora. Okay, he became alarmed and he
fled the area. All of thiswas back in August of twenty twenty one.

(31:02):
By all right, Okay, Nowfast forward to now Ronald gets pulled
over by the cops. They foundsome drug stuff in his car, also
figured out that he was wanted forquestioning about what exactly happened with his estranged
daughter. So he gets arrested.He's now in jail for not only the
drug stuff they found, but alsoon charges of incest and battery. The
court filings did not say anything aboutlike why twenty one months went by before

(31:25):
he got arrested, but they didnote that he also goes by the names
Johnny Hops and Ron Ratcheter when heused to be a professional wrestling manager.
Here's his muk shin looking real coolguy. That's well, there you go.
That is from clear Water, Florida, where a father daughter reunion thirty

(31:48):
years of the making involves drinking,dropping acid and incest. So weird.
That is today's nick. I mean, what, yeah, what little girl?
Find me? Maybe not the sexstuff, but find me what little
girl out there was never drinking anddropping acid with their find me that girl

(32:10):
does not again. Oh my god, we got some more Woody Show for
you. Next hang up. Comingup next on The Woody Show, Gregory,
we'll face one of his biggest beers. O the hell took that picture
then put it on there The WoodyShow. We'll be right back. I'm
not gonna argue with you, andyou're my key. Some smacks was whacken

(32:39):
loosen it boatsops up in her facea little bit. The Woody Show.
All right, welcome back everybody.Hey, Tuesday morning. What are the
trending news headlines? Great glory.Well, the more we learn about this
Texas mall shooting, the more crazyit gets. Over the weekend, eight
people were killed in that mass shootingat the Allen Premium out Let's. The
latest is that the shooter it lookslike he had been planning that attack for

(33:01):
weeks. He had been sharing photosof the mall on extremist forums. He
had posted racist content and racial racialminorities, even though he himself was Latino.
He claimed that Latinos are quote actuallywhite, and he had also that's
what most Latinos will tell you,right, Yeah, I had white power
tattoos. Swastikas posted a video ofhimself the day of the shooting making cryptic

(33:24):
remarks, said he had a historyof mental health issues and that he had
been discharged from the army because ofthose. Yeah, I got all the
racist stuff and whatever he's posting.People are like, well, why it
wasn't he reported, Well, becauseon the forums that he's on, it's
all extremist forums. Yeah, everyday, But if they're spouting racist stuff,

(33:45):
not necessarily these other things where he'stalking a little bit more about like
some imminent thing. Yes, yeah, I'm saying, but what led up
to that. He's been on therefor however long and posting this stuff,
and they planned the time of theattack when the outlets would be the bus
so he could have maximum impact.He was eventually shot and killed by police
at the mall. And that mall, by the way, it's about twenty
five miles from where his parents live. So they're investigating just about everything.

(34:08):
Insane douchebag. Have you heard aboutthat case with Jordan Neely in New York?
Yes, so, okay, Sothere's a pretty important and key element
of this guy. He got chokedout on the subway. Jordan even seen
the protest, Yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah. He was the homeless
man he was putting a chokehold ona New York City subway ended up dying.
So Jordan, it turns out,was on a top fifty list of

(34:30):
people who were in desperate need ofassistance from the Department of Homeless Services.
They put him on that list becausehe would cycle in and out of shelters
and mental health centers. So hewas very well known to the department,
was even on that list, andthe police department he had like over forty
son arrests. Like the guy wasthe guy was nuts and he's on the
train, and people like, well, what was his crime just being loud

(34:52):
on the train? No, hewas telling people that he was going to
kill them all and he didn't careabout going to jail. Yeah, So
like Mena said, like, uh, you know, dude, he blacked
up on an airplane or whatever.You should just be able to stomp him
out. People. You're stuck onthis train, You're stuck underground on this
train. There's no way to likeget off the train until you're at a
stop, and the conductor doesn't knowwhat's going on. And so the whole

(35:12):
thing became all, well, thisnavy guy, this or music former marine
chokes him out, and they're onlysaying that because he's the one white guy
who's actually got him in a chokehold. But then there's two other people who
are not white that are also assistinghim. So it's become this big,
huge thing if anybody is to blamehere, and that sucks that the guy's
dad, Okay, but he broughtit upon himself, and what are people

(35:35):
supposed to do? Wait for himto start stabbing people and everything else has
been going on these cities like NewYork. If anybody failed him, it
is the system. System definitely right, because arrested forty sometimes be a dangerous
or violent person, also be knownto be nutty. One of his arrests
still just be out there. Itwas for a violent assault on a sixty
seven year old woman. So yeah, that former marine Daniel Penny, he

(36:00):
put him in that choke hold.I think the issue is that a lot
of people they say on the subway, we're saying after three minutes, they
said, hey, you might killthe guy, and you still had him
in the chokehold issue. You know, now if he would have heard somebody
or killed somebody, nobody'd be sayinganything, Well, what did anybody?
Yeah, well there's a grand jury. There's no real win here. Grand

(36:21):
jury's not going to decide if thisformer marine Daniel Penny's going to be charged
with his death and if you're callingfor it, and of course they are,
yeah, I mean that's what he'sdoing, right, Yeah, exactly
interesting legal case. This is ata Zenia County, Ohio. So transwoman
Rachel Glinds, previously known as DarrylGlinds, had been facing charges of indecent

(36:44):
exposure for being naked in the women'slocker room at the YMCA because witnesses say
they saw a quote naked man witha visible penis in the women's locker room.
I did see a little bit aboutthat, so got charged with indecent
exposure, but the case got tossedout of court by the judge. The
judge said that Rachel had permission tobe in the locker room by the YMCA,

(37:05):
that her body fat more than likelycovered any visible genity. That's the
part that stood out, like,Wow, I can never get busted for
indecent exposure. I just got adozen't But I can make I mean,
look at me, I can makean argument like how you'll be like it
was bending over, it was supposedto see it. Look at my body
fat percentage. The YMCA supports thatfind a small penis body fat percentage.

(37:30):
You saw nothing. You're making thatup. You lie a liar, just
being a hater. You're a lyingliar. They say that under no circumstance
will the YMCA investigate an individual's birthidentity and then assign an individuals in locker
rooms that would be countered to thelaw counter to respect and it's not what
we are as an organization. Sothe YMCA is happy that the judge tossed

(37:51):
that case out. Yeah. Now, if you're in a locker room,
isn't there like an expected uh,you're going to see level of nudity?
Yeah. Yeah, but if itwas just like a big clatorus or something
like, you know, I'm reallynobody's really looking. Yeah, chopped it
up, like if you're in,if you're if I haven't been in the

(38:12):
locker room, and what Wow,what a clatorus on her. She got
a real meaty clatorus over though,I can promise you that's never happened.
Yeah, looking back when I wasin high school, when I was on
the swim team in the water poloteam, we had the shower area and
next right inside the shower area wasa urinal so if you have sweet if
you had to pee, we wouldgo right three feet from the shower And

(38:37):
there was a woman on the pestaff who would walk all around the men's
locker room. Yeah, she waslike the I don't know, the volleyball
coach or something like that, andher lesbian. Right, yes, she
had no interest in what we weredoing. But can you imagine if if
it was the other way around.Oh yeah, if the football coach is
walking through the women's locker room inthat you're mean, it would never happen.

(39:01):
Now, No, I don't think. So she around whistle clipboard walk
and I'm like, oh, I'mstanding here peeing in the shower and oh
look there's Leslie. Hey, Lesliepee in the shower even it's cool.
Uh well, no, they hadthat right there the other way around,
Like, hey, ladies, greatgame exactly, but hey, that's a

(39:22):
really large platoris you should get thatlooked at? Is it ever get in
the way? God? Somebody textingyou over about that Jordan Neely thing.
But Woody, he was a MichaelJackson impersonator. Like that's the thing that's
like out with right, look atwhat happened on that train. There was
a ton of witnesses saying that hewas trying to kill everybody didn't care about

(39:43):
going to jail. So this personrestrained him with two other people. Right,
Okay, he died, I getit, And you know that's unfortunate.
That he died. But now everytime you see a picture of this
kid, like anytimes, like alike a bad person does something or whatever,
and there's it's called the question aboutyou know, well, was that
excessive or was that what they alwaysfind the pictures or they're smiling with a

(40:05):
birthday cake, you know, orit's a picture from thirty years ago,
back when they graduated high school,and that's the picture they put up on
on not all these videos and stuffwhere this guy's well documented being a nut
job on the street. It's like, look at this poor guy. Oh,
he was just being loud on atrain, na dog. He was
being Michael Jackson, na dog.He was threatening a whole train full of

(40:27):
people. The narrative gets so skewed. Yeah. The media they loved to
like his bictures, Yeah and getyou to click on those articles. Yeah,
we're all fans of mister beast right. Yeah, star real name Jimmy
Donaldson Sea Bass, which because he'snot in here at the moment. But
that's so, he's got one hundredand fifty million followers total ball or estimated

(40:51):
net worth of fifty four million bucks. But it turns out that he's actually
pretty modest. He recently bought ahouse in the area he grew up in,
which is just outside of Greenville,North Carolina. Now, granted,
the house is nice, but it'sjust not over the top. It's three
thousand square feet, four bedroom,four bathrooms, it's got a nice kitchen,
and where's this nice bedroom. Thisis outside of Greenville, North Carolina.
Okay, So, like, ifyou look at this house, you

(41:12):
ought for your money there? Ohyeah, I think he paid like three
forty for it something like that.Yeah, house for that amount of money.
Yeah, but not this is nota house you would look at and
think, Wow, somebody with fiftybought his house. And then his angle
is that he doesn't care about money, so he ends up just making more.
Okay, Well, in the sameneighborhood that he bought that house,

(41:35):
he's been basically buying up houses forhis family and his employees. So he
bought his house, then he boughtanother one, and then three houses that
he bought weren't even on the market. These were off market deals, so
he just made them an offer thestreet, all in the same neighborhood.
Yeah, and he spent about oneand a half million on those four houses.
Is basically buying out that neighborhood forhis family and for his employees.
But you're on little towns. Yeah, it's like you're in mister Peaceville.

(41:59):
Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Somebody offered him a billion dollars for
his whole company and he said,no, no, not so unreal.
So yeah, it turns out he'sactually kind of a modest guy. That's
what's happening. When it's like,what's the name Warren Buffett? Yes,
doesn't he live in like the sameyep house that he's always lived in?
Yeah, drives the same old car. Yeah, lives like a normal person.

(42:21):
Rape. Did you see um,what do they call that guy,
punt God or whatever? Punt God, the dude from the Bills? Yeah,
formerly of the Bills, formerly ofthe Bills. Did you see the
update on that story? No?No, So it turns out that chick
was completely full of crafts ruined thisguy for absolutely nothing. That sucks.
He had just got the starting jobwith the Bills as their punter last year.

(42:42):
Now this is a guy without aline. They can hit a seventy
seventy yard punt. Crazy. Yeah, you would want him on your tip.
Everybody was very excited. Well,he and two other San Diego State
football players were accused of participating ina gang rape of this seventeen year old
and the police investigate this now forten months, and despite the lack of

(43:02):
evidence the bills, they ended upyou know, parting ways with him.
And now the police and the districtattorney say that he was not even involved.
In fact, he wasn't even atthe house at the time of the
alleged incident what he was saying,which is what he was saying. But
of course, you know, he'sguilty before proven innocent, and his whole
life has been paralyzed since being namedin this civil lawsuit. Like, and

(43:30):
this goes back to, all right, there's clearly damages here. He was
supposed to be on an NFL rosterand this forget forget the fact that he's
uh, you know, an NFLguy or you know whatever. Why can't
we set it up that if someonemakes a false accusation like that, that
completely like you should then be chargedand have the same sentence as whatever he

(43:52):
would have faced had he been guiltyof that. So you're accusing somebody of
rape or whatever, like, andyou get busted because you completely fabricated it
and made it up. Because you'rea lying bitch. You should go to
jail for however long. That issomething something. Yeah, Now he can
obviously turn around. I don't knowwhat he's gonna be able to get out

(44:13):
of this person. They don't haveanything charge with false reporting. He just
wants a job in the NFL.Yeah, And apparently there were like all
kind of videos and photos of herhaving sex with multiple people at that party
consensually leading up to what she thensaid happened with him specifically, and it
was all bs. That sucks.Yeah, that sucks. I'm hoping even

(44:37):
though he's been tainted by that brush, right, you know, like now
that this is out there and it'sthe police, it's a district attorney,
he wasn't even there. Yeah,someone's going to give him a shot.
I hope. I hope it's myteam, Like, I mean, my
team's pun sucks. Under under thosecircumstances, would it be the Bills who
would have the first right to him. That's a good question. I don't

(44:59):
know that because under the circumstances,the reason that you know, like is
contract was probably null and void withthe Bills. Yeah. True, waste.
Yeah, I don't think it sucks. The only thing you can do
is sewer for money. But whatmoney do you get? Blood from the
stuff? I know, But atleast maybe he can pull a Cardi B.
Because Cardi B was she sued aYouTuber for all this stuff, saying

(45:21):
that she Cardi B had uh STDs. She used to rob people all this
stuff, and Cardi B one forlike I think about three million dollars.
But you know, this chick doesn'thave any money. But she found out
that the YouTuber made like six hundredbucks off for a YouTube page just recently
and took that s all right,Yeah that's what you do. Does nickel
and dime everything? Yeah, Iforget what happened. Like some some guy

(45:44):
at one point was he said,uh, He goes, well, I'm
gonna I'm gonna knock you out,as some listener years ago. I'm good,
I said, I said. Isaid, I'm not gonna even a
fight you. I just said I'mjust gonna suit you. Yeah, and
he goes, I don't have anything, what do you again? I'm like,
dude, if you had a nickel, yeah, I would take that
nickel, which is devastating to someonewho has quote nothing, I'll take the
one nickel that you have and I'llgive it away to call or ten.

(46:06):
Yeah, like go for it.Yeah, And he's calling me on the
radio station. It's all recorded iton the air, and like the whole
thing, like dumbass those gay andso that's the thing. It's like,
it's not even about the money.It's about the principle of the whole thing.
Some of the guys that got suedfor Gawker who were involved with them,
what was it a whole Colgan case, they didn't have any money and

(46:29):
they like lost millions, right everything. They can't even open a bank account.
Yeah. That's and and to me, in a way, being the
vengeful person that I am, it'salmost more satisfying to get that last nickel
off of somebody than it is onehundred thousand dollars have to off of someone
who has a million dollars, youknow, because even though it's like,
oh that's one hundred thousand dollars,they've got a million dollars and now they

(46:50):
have nine hundred thousand, I'd rathertake your last freaking nickel, you know,
so much more painful. Well,in the case of this Uh no,
punk, God, dude, youknow or someone like that who's just
being dragged through. Uh how doesthe nature mud of nowadays? An accusation
equals guild? Yeah all, andthen box and then you're the a hole

(47:12):
if you even sit back and goyeah, I want to see how this
turns out exactly. Look, well, we don't know the whole story.
Oh my god, you know everythingyou need to know. Believe all whatever,
believe all strippers justin Royland lost everyjob ahead Rick and Morning, Yeah
right shows on hululu ye and it'snot even going to court. Yeah right?
Eight seven seven forty four Woody hitus over the text, Send those

(47:36):
over to two two ninety seven.More Woody Show is next. Hang up
the Woody Show. I'll be rightback. This will give baby some time
to check in on her cast.Fire her five kitty camps in her one
bedroom apartment, lick her plate,clean, sit down, pray plate,
go to room and cook. Ifyou have to show, would you turn

(48:00):
that down? But I was toldthat I could listen to the radio with
a reasonable volume. But I don'tsee why I should have to turn down
the radio. Be all right,okay, enjoy assisting a reasonable volumes.
The Woody Show. Now we weretalking about overrated movies. I do not
find office Space to be overrated nowhere. That's still another one I can call

(48:22):
every time it's on. So goodlove that. Well, our nightmare is
over, Tuna Gates. The tunagatelawsuit against Subway has been dropped. Oh
good, finally, yes, goback with a clear conscience. The woman
who was suing Subway claiming it's tunais made of non tuna ingredients. Once

(48:44):
out of the suit. Speaking oflawsuits, she says she's having severe morning
sickness with her third pregnancy and isunable to proceed with the obligations as plaintiff.
Ohka, she's pregnant. I'm toobusy, all right, forget all
that I'm pregnant. Um Subway,though, they want her lawyers to be
sanctioned for bringing this frivolous lawsuit inthe first place, as they show.

(49:07):
Right. Yeah, she was tryingto say, it's like chicken and pork
and beef another fish species, nottuna. Al right, easily one way
or the other. This tuna tasteslike chicken. Yeah, I mean there
are damages so far. I mean, just for the lawyers stuff six h
eighteen thousand dollars. Damn, thatsucks. Well's the last time you've had

(49:30):
subway? I think maybe for mesix seven years. You know, I
said it to my wife recently.We used to love subway and we were
there, you know, on theregular. Hey, I want to grab
something from subway. But then allthese other places I think just started popping
up as there's a lot more competition, you know. J Jimmy Yeah,
Jimmy John's. Um, we'll saythat firehouse subs like those are all better

(49:53):
than subway for me. Like,and I don't hate subway. I will
eat subway, but I'm saying ifI have a choice, and you know,
actually the uh, the Jersey Mike'sfor me is closer than the subway
is, and I like Jersey Mike'sbetter. They have those sandwiches, look
dese. Yeah, I'm saying it'snot that I wouldn't eat at subway.

(50:13):
I just can't take the last convenientfor you. Yeah. Starbucks, they've
started charging customers a dollar more fortheir refresher drinks if they ask for no
water. No water. Yeah,so they were they were talking about this
for like customers ask for no iceno water things like that. They were
gonna start charging a dollar more,and here we are. A Starbucks spokesperson

(50:34):
says the customization requires more refresher baseand the price increases just to account for
the additional product. We should clueour hands to the wall. Yeah,
yes, absolutely, Yeah. Nowfor now, this does not impact the
request for low or no ice,which is, you know, what they

(50:55):
were originally saying. Might the mightbe the case. Some social media posts
have been speculating about that. Sothis is just for if you ask for
no water on you know, therefresher drinks or whatever, because these refresher
drinks they're made from juice and greentea, so you legit get more when
you ask for no correct. Yeah, okay, not like exactly. Rolling

(51:15):
back in the day of the nightclubswhen I was twenty one, I was
like no ice because I thought Igot more alcohol. Yeah, you're gonna
get a big We'll just fill therest of that up with tequila. Yeah,
yeah, no problem, you gota dude. Yeah I thought that
problem as a kid too. Yeaheight seven seven forty four hit us up

(51:37):
with that text over to two twonine eight seven. Funnier than Chlamdia.
It's the one show I thought aboutyou, Greg, Yeah, what were
doing? Yeah? There is womanthe news just like pushing fifty. Okay.
She went missing five days. Thisis in Australia, about the high

(52:00):
out in the Australian bushlands of bush. Yeah. And she said that she
survived on nothing but her common sense, which by question, yeah, what
got her there? Yeah? Whatare you doing out there in the firth
and snacks? But all she hadher lollipops and wine. She survived on

(52:20):
lollipops that she had in her carand a bottle of wine. All you
need. Yeah, well you needfive bottles for five days. But yeah,
it's a good start. She wastaking the hospital treated for dehydration,
Oh my god. But otherwise she'sokay. Ther car broke down. Then
she was driving somewhere and then shehit this dead end and then she tried
turning around and her car got stuckin the mud. No cell service,

(52:45):
So she just hung out by thecar and ate lollipops and drank that bottle
of wine. She said. Sheused the you know, the heater in
the car to stay warm at night. But okay, yeah, good things.
She got the bottle of wine open. Well, you'll find you'll find
a way. Yeah. So thisuh, this person that I know they

(53:05):
have to replace there, well theydon't have to replace, but it's unsightly.
All understanding, you'll understand Greg talkingabout like that whole thing about what's
the dumbest thing your kid did?We're asking moms, what's the dumbest thing
that your kid did? And they'rereplacing their countertop on their island in their
kitchen. It's quarts, which isthe strongest material that you can get for

(53:27):
countertops. Okay, it's chipped inmultiple spots, like along the edge.
And they thought it was like,is this like defective quarts or whatever?
No, no, No, turnsout that they're teenagers. They have a
son and a daughter have their friendsover and they're popping open bottles of beer
because they're they're going and of coursethe kids aren't saying anything yea, And

(53:52):
so they're going through this whole thingabout like there's something wrong with this churts.
It's like the old Steve Martin movieThe Germ. At these someone was
shooting at the gas station and thecans of oil were exploding to kill him.
Yeah, trying to kill him.There's something wrong with these cans.
Wow, Like shooter is mad atthese kids bottles on the Yeah, so

(54:14):
edge? Yeah, well you knowhow you do that? Right? Yeah?
Yeah, no, I hit iton the edge. But like I'm
just thinking, how stupid then,right? Yeah, teenagers not even seven
years old? Right? They doin a kitchen. Yeah, you're in
a kitchen. There has to bean op. Everybody knows. These countertops
are not cheap, held a lotof allowance. It's one of the dumbest

(54:37):
things I've ever heard. Me too, Yeah, I'd be so mad.
I would, Yeah, I wouldquestion the intelligence of Mike, right,
yeah, right, as you shouldmost parents of teens do. Mom,
what's the what's the dumbest thing yourkid or kids have done? Eight seven,
seven forty four? What a text? Two two nine eighty seven Facebook,

(54:59):
Facebook dot com slash the show we'llbe we'll be getting into that with
Mother's Day coming up on Sunday.We'll get to that topic. Maybe the
countertops better that I know a guythat opened a beer bottle with his teeth.
He tried to like twist it offand broke the neck of the bottle
as his hand was making that motionto open it, and the bottle sliced
his cheek wide open, like it'slike the joker, like the smile.

(55:22):
It's cool everywhere. It's super likefratty, like douche baggy. But you
know when when you have a bottleof beer and you swirl it and you
turn it upside down and it doeslike the side It basically just pours right
down your throat. Yeah, likeyou can down a beer in like two
seconds. Nice, pretty cool whirlpool. Yeah, the whirlpool of Yeah,

(55:43):
I've seen it a couple of timesonline. I'm like, that's pretty cool.
I wish I was manly enough todo that. I also think it's
cool when you open a beer withanother beer. I'm like, that's pretty
cool. Yeah, that's cool.There's a being of kids and stuff.
There's a couple in Alabama and theyjust welcomed quadruples. So this is four
kids, two sets of identical twins, twin boys and twin girls. That's

(56:07):
cool. Wow, isn't that weird? Yeah? All they wanted to do
is give their eight year old daughtera sibling. Now there's four. Now
the eight year olds miserable. Wouldyou not kill yourself? Oh? My
God. Yeah. So the doctorwas looking, you know, back early
in the pregnancy, is like,what the hell there? Yeah, I

(56:27):
got a whole litter of kids inthere. Wow. They say it's incredibly
rare. The two sets of identicaltwins. The odds of conceiving spontaneous quadruplets
is like around one in five hundredand twelve thousand to one in six hundred
and seventy seven thousand. Whoa,and they're currently remodeling their twelve hundred square
foot home to now make room fortheir four new babies. Oh so five

(56:53):
kids plus them family A seven ina twelve hundred square foot place. That's
small. Yeah, I would beremodeling too. I would rule to have
twins like that, though. Ihope that was c section right, I
would say, I don't know aboutthe eight year old daughter. How that
happened. It was in a cardboardbox under the stairs. Yeah, right,

(57:14):
free to good home, right ripripped up newspapers exactly eight seven seven
forty four. Woody, you canhit us up with that text over to
two to nine eight seven. Sohe said, my kid overflowed. The
toilet kept flushing until it was aninch of water on the floor. Oh
my God, said he was goingto clean it up when it was done
overflowing, instead of just cleaning itup as it came. Oh what a

(57:37):
great plan. How old is thiskid? I hope too, I don't
hope, like really young. Allright, we're gonna take a break.
What he shows next, Braby,We'll tell you her deepest, darkest secrets.
I'll tell you what it's not.It's nothing sexual. She officially coming
out as a lesbian. I'm waitingfor that. It's been right back.

(58:06):
And then it compound that, firstof all, pound what I'm saying show
nobody asked for. It's not bad. I realize it's not Friday. It's
a pretty good failed story. Menacehad had an incident, Yes they did.

(58:27):
Yeah, Yeah, because you know, he's like he never can sits
still, so he's so he's veryrarely at home. Yeah, which also
leads me to wonder, like,why did he buy Yeah exactly, I'm
beginning to think that as well.I'm like, I should just right out
in my place downsize. But umno. The the other day, I

(58:49):
was at a hotel and I forgotmy tooth baste. So I was like,
Okay, I'll just go down thenext morning into lobby and I'll buy
some toothpaste. Right. So Igo down there early in the morning and
I grabbed the item off the shelfand I go to the resh shirt and
I was like, oh yeah,I'm like all groggy and stuff. I
was like, oh yeah, Iforgot my my toothpaste. And after I

(59:10):
already paid, the lady said,oh, you can just request some and
they'll give it to you. Ithought, yeah, I thought that was
kind of weird. But they dothat for basic stuff like toothbrush, stuff
like that. Well, I saidit was kind of yah. I said
it was kind of weird because shealready sold me the item, you know.
But whatever. So I go backupstairs and I give my toothbrush,

(59:35):
I put it, I put it, uh, the stuff on the toothbrush,
and I put it in my mouth. And then I instantly realized it
was not toothpaste. I look atit. It's like some anti itching cream.
Why it was red and blue thepackaging and then the there was a

(01:00:00):
price tag of the label. Soshe thinks she just had like a S.
But you don't recognize the toothpicee thetoothpaste brand, right, I thought,
it was like cold cold gate.I thought it was Colgate, but
it was like court his own.Yeah, it's and that totally explains why

(01:00:22):
the woman said, yes, youcalled down for something. But in the
meantime, Okay, that's awesome,dude, it was so bad it sounds
awesome. Yeah, I mean,it's a great story. The great news
is your gums, don't it?I know at all? No itchy gums.
Yeah, we all know how easywhat an easy bar for you are

(01:00:43):
like? So that yeah, atthe same preferred barfing I know, so
I love it. And then Ihad it. It was it was gross.
What's the flavor of so? Iknow? So you know, it
just like chemical, just like chemicaltaste. Did it burn? It did
not burn. It did not burnby instantly clear. It was white.

(01:01:05):
It was white. It looked liketoothpaste. It looked like the tube.
Everything looked like, yeah, youhave some mouthwash to Branson. I know.
I had to call and get thetoothpaste and the mouth washed into my
room and then I finally got thetaste in my mouth. But what even
guy worse was like later that dayI had beard die with me as well.

(01:01:27):
So I dyed my beard. Yeah, I got some of that in
my mouth too. I'm like,Gran, I'm gonna die today. I
was following it, no, butit just it just gets up in there
and then I'm the next thing.I know, I'm anti itch cream and
Beard duff. I thought you brushedthat stuff into you too, but you

(01:01:50):
know a little whisker hangs into yourmouth. Yeah, I'm glad joined Beard.
Yeah, I had to I needsomething today. But favorite, you
know, it's actually that works prettywell. Have you seen that just for
men? Makes like a touch upthing? Now, little thing? Yeah,
looks it looks like chicks use fortheir Oh really like that brush?
What's that called? Yeah? Andso it's like preloaded and you just brush

(01:02:15):
it on. Well it comes likeit looks like a little like a makeup
tube kind of thing. And youtake it out and it's got that little
brush the end and you can justtouch up it. There's like a little
area or whatever. Now here's thething. You gotta wait for for five
minutes far to dry. Okay,it's it's instantly the color right, yeah,
but like you gotta wait for fiveminutes for it to dry. But

(01:02:36):
then when you touch it, ithas this weird texture to it like you
won't come off in your clothes.You can get your hands wet and rub
your face or whatever and it's notgonna come off. You have to soap.
You have to soap or shampoo orwhatever to get it out. But
it feels super weird, like crusty. You know, it looks fine.
Oh yeah. In fact, Iused it before we met up at Sea

(01:03:00):
Basses, just for like the edgesup here, because it was like it
was looking weird. R do youwant to look good in photos and the
poop exactly? Yeah, while wewere going to a nice cocktail gathering,
right, you know. And it'sthe first time I'd ever tried that stuff.
So it works really well, likein a pinch if you needed for
like that one night or whatever.But otherwise I'm glad you joined that.

(01:03:21):
Yeah that is next time, don'tdrink it. One of my favorite stories
ever. FI doesn't taste great.Yeah that I always do that too.
I go to the store and Iget so excited to buy whatever Ben and
Jerry's ice cream. I get home, I start eating it. What the
hell it's like, non fat,non dairy yogurt. Yeah, I always
do that. Yeah, grabbed theBenny Garry. Yeah, though if you

(01:03:45):
forget items called the lobby for this, yeah, for toothpaste, Yeah,
they might have it for free.What about those stories that you see every
once in a while where like somewoman or whoever ends up in the hospital
because they're going to get like theythink are like the eye drops or whatever.
It's like super glue. Yeah,and they drop it into their eye.
Us. There's a label you mightwant to read, ye, pay

(01:04:09):
his attention. And why would itbe in like your bathroom or your medicine
cabinet whatever? Yeah? True?Why would that be your toiletries? Why
is it not in your junk room? Yeah? Speaking of hotels, though,
remember how menace you at your house? You have one of those what
do you call them luggage holders?I guess you'd call it, yeah,
like a little stand. Yeah.They fold and put them down. You
can just lay your suitcase. Aboutfour of them just recently. And when

(01:04:30):
you first told me that and Isaw it at your house, I thought
I didn't know, in my words, where I didn't know civilians could buy
these? Did you steal it?And I was so jealous because I thought
you stole it from a hotel?Great one of that for his guest quarters.
I do, and I still wantone, but the ones I look
at look kind of lame. SoI'm still on the hunt. You haven't

(01:04:50):
got you not yet found the perfectone. I haven't found the perfect one.
I would like one maybe with leatherstraps, maybe and some of those
alone. I think you would looknicer. Yeah, but I had just
yesterday had another incident where I thought, I didn't know civilians could have these
things, and now we have one. We needed a new printer because we

(01:05:12):
realize in life civilians can have aprint, you kind of have to print
a lot. So Mario went outand bought this printer and it has a
copier on top. Are you serious? I'm like, wait, I knew
fifteen years. I knew it wasa thing. I didn't know people had
them in their homes. It's likea three and one. It's it's a

(01:05:34):
printer, scanner and copy exactly.And I thought, I've seen these a
trillion times, and let me finishin offices. I didn't think. I
didn't think you got him for yourhome, and I so then he hooked
bought a printer in the last thirtyyears, not in probably fifteen years.
Let's say, because we didn't.We were so eighties. Every time we

(01:05:56):
needed something printed, we would gosomewhere to a store. No, I
don't, I get it, ButI think those are for offices, much
like I think luggage holders are forhotels. Yeah, I've had a luggage
track with a tan leather straps.Oh that's nice. That's nice. So
then I yeah, So he hooksit up and he calls me into the
room to test it out, tosee that my phone can print. Yeah,
and I said, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, Wait

(01:06:18):
a minute, is that a copieron? Like, we have a copier?
Now? Oh my god? Doyou have a need to make company?
I sure don't. Right, didI copy what I just printed?
You know it? And I justsaw something recently that mentioned like how few

(01:06:39):
people actually still have printers. Yeah. At home, we had brom in
the closet that was not hooked up. And I think it's out of corner
like everything else now out of thecloset. Yeah, I get it.
I had a Yeah, I hadto buy one, but I never use
it. But do you have acopier? Does it scan? Yes?
Think I was excited about because wehad a printer we use it like kids.

(01:07:02):
You know, stuff has to getprinted out. You can sign it
and send it back to the schoolor whatever. Um. But it was
it was getting too slow, andI was tired of replacing the stupid ink
cartridges which you have to replace fivecopies in jet or whatever. So I
went out and I bought a laserprinter, like a high speed one like

(01:07:23):
you'd see like we have in ouroffice. I bought one of those for
the house. That was fun.It's a cool purpose. The size of
it's pretty big. Yeah, andit prints in color. It doesn't it's
it's awesome. Yeah. I haven'tlike my little home studio set up area.
It's out of the way. It'snot like sit in the middle of
the living room. Ours is likethe one in the office. It's big.
Yeah. Now, I don't wantto like really blow your mind,

(01:07:45):
Greg, because I don't want yourbrain do Yeah, but you might be
able to print straight from your phoneto your printer. That's what I did.
That's what I did, And thenI took that print out and made
a copy of it just to doit. I could just print to use
the function, but I have acopier. Guy, if you have any
copy. If you have any copyneeds, just come over. What do

(01:08:08):
you sit in the nineties chicken Nuggetssomewhere in the studio and Menace find it
before they never mind you found it. What do you show? Will be
right back. My favorite radio show, The Woodsie Show. You guys are
amazing, especially Woodsy wood Show.That whole last conversation started with Menace traveling

(01:08:31):
And I don't know if you sawanything about this in the news, but
anybody's been stranded because of a canceledflight, it sucks because the airline does
nothing for you. Sorry, Butnow there's talk about new regulations that would
require airlines to compensate you and covermeals and hotel if you get stranded for

(01:08:53):
reasons that are within the airline's control. Okay, now like Southwest computer failure.
Yeah, compensation would be in additionto to get refunds when the airline
is at fault for a flight beingcanceled or significantly delayed. Now that's the
rub, because what's going to endup happening because the airlines tell you nothing

(01:09:15):
as it is. Right, They'llsay it's weather and the weather's flying.
Yeah, it's a weather thing.Or they'll say it's a mechanical issue.
They lie. Let me figure thatout. But like if they only have
to compensate you within their control,they're going to find all these different things,

(01:09:36):
so it's not something within their control. I appreciate the fought and the
and the effort to you know,say that they're going to do this.
I would be surprised if this everhappens. Yeah, it sounds great.
A lot of things have been happeningto me lately. Is um then pushing
away from the gate, but thenwe sit there right Amus shows that its

(01:10:00):
departed. Yeah, yeah, yeafrom the gate. But you're totally right.
They're not gonna say, like,hey, where we would love to
pay for your hotel because we totallycould have avoided this. Yeah right,
this is our bad Yeah what hotelwould you like? Yeah? The worst
was when I missed that connecting flightby literally one second. They closed the

(01:10:24):
door to the jetway and I wasI was about ten feet from the door
and they would not let me on. I said, this is very important,
I have to get a Nope,we already closed the door to the
jetway. See, I don't understandfu. There's people probably on the other
side of that door lined up toget on the plane. Yeah, it's
not a magical door because they closedthe door that goes into the terminal.

(01:10:46):
But then they walk down the jetbridge and then that's when they closed the
plane up. They closed the doorto where the you know, passengers come
through first. Then they go downthere, closed the actual airplane door,
and then back the jet bridge away, and then that employee walks back up
and through that door again. Youall see him come back out like once
the plane is now pushed back exactly. Yeah. Um, but yeah,

(01:11:09):
you're right, Yeah, we can'topen the door. What's so magical about
that? You can? It's likefield of dreams, like once you cross
this line. Yeah, that happened. Little Mermaid had a big decision to
make. That happened to me onetime in Phoenix because the Phoenix Airport is
so spread out. I mean,you gotta run to get your next flight.
They should have flights from one endto the end. And it was

(01:11:30):
yeah, and it was they closedthe door. I couldn't get in,
and it was the last flight out. But luckily I heard an announcement a
last call for a nearby city,so I ran back across the airport,
and I was able to get onthat flight and like take off or I
would have been done. And therewas the last time he ran guys.

(01:11:54):
I wasn't carefully. We can't affordany mistakes. The Woody Show, Victor
much more much into another new hourof insensitivity training for a politically correct world.
Thank you so much for being hereand giving us some of your valuable

(01:12:15):
time. This morning. We areThe Woody Show. I'm Woody. That's
right. That is Greg Gorey Menaceis our social media director. What is
up, Woody? You can findus. You can follow us at the
Woody Show on Instagram and Twitter oron Facebook, Facebook dot com, slash
the Woody Show. See Bass ishere. We've got Sammy Morning, we
Got Bored, and Caroline on theJohn this morning. Morgan our associate producer,

(01:12:38):
and Von our video producer. Everybody'shere. The only thing missing is
your participation in the show, whichyou can always be a part of.
Whatever it is topic contest, whichwe do have a topic this hour eight
seven seven forty four, Woody isthe best way to do it. You
call in, you share your storyeight seven seven forty four Woody, or
hit us up with a text overto two two nine eight seven. So,

(01:13:00):
what is the dumbest thing your kiddid? It's a Mother's Day on
Sunday, and every parent has astory or a thousand. Yeah right,
it's hard to you know, reallykind of dial it down, you know,
so like what the dumbest thing wouldbe? Maybe you don't even know
about it, yea as the Yeah, exactly, I was thinking about this.

(01:13:23):
I don't know my mom knows this, but we used to do this
thing because we were living in thesetownhouses and my friends and so the townhouse
was like three stories, so itwas it was narrow, but it was
tall, right, and on theloft part of the townhouse there was a
skylight and we would open up theskylight and crawl out and run across the
roofs Oh my god, right,I mean it's I mean and and uh,

(01:13:47):
my wife and I were just drivingthrough the old neighborhood recently and I
was like, man, I rememberdoing that, Like how dumb. Now
that you have kids, you're like, oh my god, I can't believe
we did that. Exactly. Soone friend would be, you know,
or a couple of friends would bedown below, like in the street,
okay, and then one of uswould be up on the roof with a
tennis racket and some tennis balls andwe would like launch, So it was

(01:14:09):
like super pop flies, like likeyou know, shagging, uh, like
baseball stuff, you know, likepop flies. Yeah, a man,
because you're on the roof and nowyou're rocketing with a tennis racket a tennis
ball super high up in the air, right, and your friends are down
there trying to catch it. Iagree. Fun stuff, so dangerous,
so dumb, and I'm pretty suremy mom doesn't know anything about that,

(01:14:32):
right or didn't Did you do thisrepeatedly? Oh? Yeah, we did
it all the time because we're alwaysoutside. Huh, there's no way she
knew about it. Then, yea, she would have stopped you for sure.
Yeah, I know. But thenparents always say, don't do that.
You go all right, and thereyou are some sort of lock on

(01:14:53):
the Yeah, it's all funning gamesuntil somebody crashes to the Yeah, exactly,
simbing on the It was so muchfun, I agree. A Texas
high school student sent six of hisfriends to the hospital last week after deploying
an intensely putrid fart spray. Ohthat was pretty dumb. The student finally

(01:15:14):
fest up to the prank after thefire officials and the hazardous response team spent
three days investigating reports of his smellof gas at the high school. This
is outside of Houston. The stinkspray called hung fart spray prompted the evacuation
of all students and they got thatill. I guess it was really bad
at me. You know those umthose stink bombs like the little Yeah,

(01:15:38):
yeah, they're nasty. Yeah,you step on those things. That's this.
You get a spray. It's likethe bear spray version. Yeah,
exactly. They were forced to shutdown classes for the remainder of the week.
Week Yeah, oh my god.And they don't think that this one
kid acted alone in the pranking.Just pranking guys. But he's no,

(01:16:00):
you should get expelled for that brankschool down. Why the death penalty for
someone where he was like, it'sa little straight, but like other things
like this, farsted, if you'redeploying fart spray, you're already on the
school's radar as an idiot. Whyhe's being hilarious. But if the parents

(01:16:24):
found out about that, that mightmake their list. Oh yeah, yeah,
the time, my son got expelled. Hey remember that everyone when you
like ye eight seven, seven fortyfour would my parents would zone me.
Let's say hi to h Kayla wringKayla, good morning. Hi. All
right, So what's the dumbest thingyour kid's done. One of the dumbest

(01:16:46):
things my now nine year old butthen five year old did was put some
gum on the screen of his Nintendoswitch because he just needed it to hold
it for a minute. Then hecouldn't get it off, so he washed
the switch water. I got itreal clean. That always goes. Got
the gum off was about. Isent that into a Nintendo and it was

(01:17:11):
one hundred dollars to repair. Ohthat's it. Hundred bucks. Yeah,
actually harder bucks to get it fromhaving the water damage. I guess,
Wow, you lucked out on thatone. My parents would be called Nintendo,
well you enjoyed your switch done.That's a life lesson right there.
That's a lot. But my husbandwould not have called, but I did

(01:17:31):
because I didn't want the three hundredto go to waste. Yeah, I
got And you can't really get moneyout of a five year old too young
for you got to make him workat all, exactly all right, Cake,
thank you for the copy shot thewood show this. Yeah. Thanks.
All right, We're gonna take aquick break, and then when we
come back from the break, aspecial guest is going to join us,

(01:17:53):
my mother. Sweet oh nice.I just I hit her up. I
told her what the topic was.She says, she quote has a few
things couple excellence. Yeah, sowe'll talk to my mom real quick,
and then we'll get to some ofyour stories. We're looking for moms.
All right, dads take a break. Its Mother's Day. Yeah, so

(01:18:15):
the Mother's Day angle on that.So, mom's what's the dumbest thing your
kid did? And you can sendyour your stories over on the text over
to two to ninety seven. We'llget some people lined up on the phones
and then my mom will be thefirst one join us next and tell her
tell us everything that tell us more. Yeah, I'm wondering how much I'm
I wonder what she would say.I don't even know what she would say.

(01:18:38):
I mean, I know a lotof the dumb stuff. There has
to be some things that you forgot. I wonder if it's even something that
I've shared before on the I'm serious. We'll find out next. Hang Okay,
shouldn't take me so long to figureout how to contact Damn show.
I love you guys, but seriouslysay you're social menute all. Welcome back,

(01:19:06):
everybody, and please welcome to theWoody Show. My mother everybody,
Hi, Hi, how are yougoing? Oh? Pretty good? How's
everybody there? Good? Well,well, you know, with Mother's Day

(01:19:27):
on on Sunday, we're doing atopic asking moms, what's the dumbest thing
your kid did? Menace refuses totalk to his mother on the air.
Tried, tried, and nope,stop asking. Yeah, I'll call it.
Yeah, So I wanted to acknowledgeyour courage because I know Greg's mom's
too shot. Even you're very strong, and my mom typically is not really
the person who is enjoying to belike a front facing kind of like public.

(01:19:54):
Well, I have to be honest, I have a little bit of
stage right here. Yeah, verymuch alive. Yeah. But anyway,
yeah, so, dumbest thing thatyour kid did? And I was I
was trying to think before we gotyou on. I've told so many stories
on the air. I'm wondering.I'm wondering if what you have is stuff
that I've either forgotten about or nevermentioned on the show. Well, I

(01:20:17):
have four do we have time?Oh? Yeah, yeah, sure.
Did you know about a skylight adventures? Oh yeah. Did you know when
we lived in the townhouse that likewe climb up on the roof? No,
yeah, never mind me. Imentioned that before the break. Yeah,
because you remember we used to playbaseball out in front on the street,

(01:20:40):
and so one of us would standup on the roof of the tennis
racket hit a tennis ball way upin the air for like super pop flaws.
Well, how did you get upthere to skylight? Wait? Oh
my god, I'm glad I didn'tknow. All right, I'm sure if
you knew about that, I'm notanyway. All right, So you got
four things? All right? Okay. This one was when we were in

(01:21:00):
our apartment and the kitchen was thislittle galley kitchen, you know, skinny
thing, and you were really young. You wanted to be helpful and helped
clean and surprise means ye, yes, so you clean the kitchen floor,
themoleum floor with pledge. I waswalking into the kitchen in my socks and

(01:21:26):
I was killed. I had touse comment, you know, I was
trying to Okay, that's not Thesecond one was also in our apartment.
And you know how parents hang theirpictures up that the kids do in school
whatever, So you went into mywoman's mini tool kit and took out the

(01:21:53):
hammer and nails and proceeded to hangthem on the wall in your bedroom with
I think was that? Oh?Yeah, wasn't that when the babysitter was
there? Right? Yeah? Yeah? I never used her again. Yeah,
this baby. And so not onlyto hang up the things that I
had drawn or color, I alsohung up by T shirts. I hung

(01:22:15):
up T shirts on the wall.What was the babysitter doing? Obviously I
never That's why I never used heragain. I'm not sure washing TV?
Did you not hear that? Ham? I know that's what I'm saying.
Well, yeah, I don't know. I can't answer that question. Okay.
So the third one was at Grandma'shouse. So the hose outside was

(01:22:40):
you know, wrapped up on thedriveway, and you wanted to wash the
car, but the passenger window wasopen. It just saturated the passage.
Again, try to clean why tryingto clean out? I got to be

(01:23:01):
my kids would pick up the rooms, you know, So there was so
much moisture, like in the rugand on the seat, just so many
towels I would just soak up andI just couldn't get it all up.
And then the next few days itrained, so you know, we didn't
keep the car in a grudge,so we had I had to keep the
windows closed, so every morning thecondensation was inside the windows. I had

(01:23:26):
to take a towel and wipe theinside of the windows before we went anywhere.
All right, again, try tobe helpful, A very nice helpful
time to dry that us have timeto decorate it actually, so just on
that side and just turned it onand went it down. Yeah, and

(01:23:51):
then the last one m the kremlkrem. You probably shared this. Um.
Grandpa had a baby grand piano andyou know in the front of the
piano or all those little pegs thatthe ice strings wrap around. So Grandpa
used to he had this tool wherehe would like tune, Yeah, just

(01:24:15):
like fine tune little things, youknow. Well, Um, Jeffrey decided
to tune the piano himself and theentire keyboard from the bottom to the top.
And we had to figure out howto tell him before he came home
from work and sat down gather becausethe entire thing was at a tune.

(01:24:35):
It would have been a late termabortion. He had to hire piano tuner.
Those Yeah, they come to thehouse and yeah, yi guy,
Wow, I would love to hearit out of tune. Yeah, yeah,

(01:24:57):
it was remarkable. Wow. Youknow what I don't think any of
those would you shared was nailing stufftoo the wall. Yeah, but I
don't know about the hose in theback of the car. Forgot I forgot
about this, Yeah, I forgotabout that one. And the one I
the one I thought that she wasgoing to bring up is when she was
trying to sell her car. Ohyeah, I too, Yeah, yeah,

(01:25:19):
yeah, I wanted to The manand his son were ready to buy
the car, and then you comein because you were trying to act grown
up and participate in the conversation,and you're like, hey, mom,
remember the time we broke down andblah blah blah. And the other one,

(01:25:42):
speaking of the car, that Ithought you were going to bring up,
is when we had stopped by mygrandfather's house and my mom had to
run in real quick because we wereon our way up to my cousin's house.
My cousin Donald's Holls and on theseat she had left I don't know
why or where, was like abox of nails and this card the violence.
Yeah, the car had like benchvinyl seats, and I took one

(01:26:05):
of the nails and I was justmessing with it and I poked it through
you know how kids can't avoid Likeif you're at the uh, you know,
like there's like a package of meator whatever and you poke a hole
like through the plastic or whatever,like you or like a toilet paper or
paper towel, packaging or whatever,and he poked your holes or there.
Yeah, little boys always stick intheir hole their their stuff, you know.

(01:26:28):
Anyway, So like I made onelittle puncture with the with the point
of the nail uh into the seat, and I thought it made an interesting
sound, and so I just repeatedlydid that all over the seat. But
but all these little puncture marks allover the seat, and I thought my
mom was going to die. AndI was, I mean, I was
super young, maybe like four,you're really young, yeah for maybe five,

(01:26:51):
trusted with nails, I know.Yeah, I'm sessed me away from
Christ, you know. Yeah.But so all right, well, my
happy Mother's day, Happy mother.Of course this is not gonna be the
only time I tell you that,but I figured for on air purposes here.
Yeah, there you go. AndI appreciate you being so brave and

(01:27:13):
care The stories wouldn't stories from everybody, it really would. It's still the
best job in the world. Soyeah, and these guys don't By the
way, these guys don't believe me. When I set the woods on fire
that I told you, I camequeen immediately. Yeah, I don't know.

(01:27:39):
We accused him of downplaying a lotof his all the time. Yeah,
what, I set the woods onfire behind the apartment. Yeah.
Yeah. And my mom was like, what happened? I said, well,
we were playing with it. Itold her. It wasn't like a
big giant, trying to tell himit's not like one of these like western

(01:27:59):
wild Okay, just think of allthe wild life any totally bald eagles,
yeah, birds, yeah. Now, when barbecued beer, yeah yeah,
when it wasn't my mother asking,I was like, oh, we saw
some teenagers and they went that wayand they were wearing jean jacket. Yeah,

(01:28:19):
they looked like they were in agame. Killed some pandas that day.
That's right, all right, it'sa miracle you got to where you
are you Yeah, now we're justpranking. Yeah, all right, I
love you, I love you too. By bye. Yeah, yeah me

(01:28:43):
too. Yeah, she's she's allright, yeah, she's yeah. In
quite a while though. Let's sayhello to Tracy Hay. Good morning,
Tracy, Tracy, good morning,good morning, good morning. All right,
So the dumbest thing your kid did. So my kid did this when
he was up out sixteen. Hehad just gotten his driver's license, and
like any parents, I need butteror something stupid from the store. So

(01:29:06):
of course I'm going to make mykid, now go do that. Who
is more than willing to go dothat? Of course? So I sent
him to the store for like twoor three things, and he comes back
with like five bags of stuff,and I'm like, what is the deal?
And I start opening the bags andthey're all boxes of donuts in the

(01:29:27):
world. Did you buy all thesedonuts? He says, Mom, they
were ten for ten. I'm like, hey, it doesn't mean you have
to buy all tens. We thoughtyou had to buy ten packages of donuts
to get the deals. We wereneeding donuts for the next three weeks.

(01:29:50):
After that, I was gonna saythree weeks, woldues here, I probably
should have just put them up inhis They probably would have been gone in
a couple of nights his room.Exactly. All right, Tracy, thank
you for the call. Appreciate Listento Woody show you're welcome. Thank you
all right by uh Margie says,I asked my twenty one year old son
to stop at the store for porkchops, and he brought home some shaking

(01:30:13):
bake. Okay, not the actualpark right, just the that's hilarious.
All right, So we'll get tosome more of the calls, more of
the stories. Mother's Day topic here, ladies, moms, what's the dumbest
thing your kid did? Eight sevenseven forty four, Woody, that's eight

(01:30:33):
seven seven forty four. The quote. We weren't allowed to use the word
fart. We called them fluff.Oh yeah, they showed. We had
a mom her named Tiffany. Shehit us up saying that her ten year

(01:30:55):
old spray painted her full name onthe side of their apartment building. Rain
that's cool tense, is my bill. But yeah, jeez, wow,
that's badal behavior. Let's go toa happy good morning, happy good morning
morning. What's the dumbest thing yourkid did. Wow, lot's choose from.

(01:31:18):
But this one's up there. It'sa He was a teenager and we
lived in Colorado and we had ahot tip. It was the middle of
Winner, and instead of putting alittle more water in it, she turned
it off and close the lid andwent inside. And we didn't come out
till the next day. So whenwe did, it was frozen solid.
Oh yeah, that does that jackeverything up? I would imagine, oh

(01:31:43):
yeah, solid for the winner andit was like bursts pipes and huge icicles
underneath, and we could have ahot tip for the winner. I've never
done it, but always sounds cool. And you see like like a picture
like whereds a bunch of snow onthe ground around and then the hot tubs
there and everybodys in the huh yeah, like at a ski resort or something
like that. Awesome is it cool? Yeah? Getting into it out?

(01:32:09):
That's so good? All right,happy, Thank you for the call.
Appreciate you listening to the wood.You show absolutely, Hagar. My mother
in law had a really good one. Yeah. Yes. She came home
one day and her kids had hada black cat fire cracker war inside the
house. Yeah, yeah, everybuddy Tony had something like that. They

(01:32:31):
were shooting off fireworks in the house. Yeah, oh my god, let's
go to Cannae. But I thinkit was started by the grandfather. The
grandfather is the one who started it. Yeah, and the trash can in
the living room. They had likethese like uh like these big tall ceilings,
like cathedral kind of ceiling kind ofthing. Yeah, he Candice,
good morning, Good morning guys.So what's the dumbest thing your kid did?

(01:32:55):
Oh? It still makes my stomach. Um, I saw, I'm
an exotic dun sir, and Ihad a private party in Beverly Hills.
So after the night, I goand I pick up my kid and my
mom's and I lived all the wayin Garden Grove. So on my drive
home, I thought she was asleep, and I had the back window just
a little bit cracked, so shewasn't asleep. She was watching my bills

(01:33:19):
fly down the freeway. Got home, was like fifty bucks. Oh my
god. First of all, wheredid you have this money? It was
just in like like in my bagin the back seat, next to her
car seat. She was maybe four. Okay, how much do you estimate

(01:33:40):
you had? Yeah, how muchended up on the on the road?
Oh, I got home on likefifty bucks were at the bottom. Yeah,
but what did it start at?Um? I think it was like
seven grand? Who was it wasa party in Beverly Hills. Yeah,

(01:34:01):
yeah, yeah, yeah, wegot what it was. It was a
party for Hotursday. Actually, ohthat sounds pretty classy. So Kennis,
what are you doing these days?Are you a lawyer? You finally went
to law school? That's what alot of strip. I'm in law school.
I'm in college. So what areyou doing now? I actually I'm
in school. I'm I'm studying tobe a PA. So positions assistant.

(01:34:24):
Okay, that's good, All right, school there you go. All right,
Well, Candis, thank you forthe call. Appreciate you. Listening
to the Woody Show. My god, wow ye talk about money out the
window literally sucks. Say hi toLisa. Good morning, Lisa, good
morning. My son was about fouryears old and he made the decision that

(01:34:50):
he was going to help me thefurniture from my bedroom. Yeah. So,
once all the furniture was built andput together, he said, don't
worry, mom, the key issafe. Do you mean the key is
day yeah, what's the key?Oh, the little wrench, the little
wrench thing that used to put thestuff together. No, an actual key
to my bedroom because I had allmy stuff from my dresser out and so

(01:35:14):
the key was safe. He hadswallowed it. Oh my god. After
the emergency room we went and sureoff the X ray. There it was
a big old key. Yeah,And so I asked the nurse, what's
the plan, right, how dowe get this thing out? And she
handed me a stack of paper bagsand told me to get a colander and

(01:35:35):
start collecting until I found it comeout. So, needless to say,
I paid the twenty five dollars copayand got him another X ray two days
later to make sure it was gone. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it
wasn't gonna happen. Yeah, Imean, because you see like an uh,

(01:35:55):
like movies or TV shows, cartoonsor whatever. Every once in a
while it's like someone's trying to getand they can get it kind of thing.
Yeah, and they swallowed by like, oh god, match and passing
a key comes out sideways. Yeahall right, Lisa, thank you for
the call. I appreciate listen thewitty chat. Oh my god, Yeah,
I mean I was like bye.All right, Well there you go.

(01:36:17):
Oh kids, they're so dumb,so expensive, but at least you
know what love is. Yeah,that's true. Yeah. My son was
fifteen or sixteen. He was burningstage in his room while I was at
work. I got a phone callfrom my roommate saying that he had burned
the freezer. He said he wantedto put the sage out, but didn't
want to run water over it sohe could save it and use it later.
So he figured fire is hot,freezer cold, so he put it

(01:36:41):
in the freezer, thinking that wouldput the fire out. Okay, his
name is the freezer dumb man.My son moved out at twenty years old
with his girlfriend, quit college,decided to quit his union job with a
market to work for some friend companyunder the table, and now every time

(01:37:01):
it rains he doesn't work. Ohwow, all right, Cindy. My
kids were playing in the backyard racingeach other when my seven year old ran
straight into a brick wall. Sheclaimed that she was running too fast and
couldn't stop, just stop, gaveherself a nice goose egg on the forehead.
Oh god, alright, So Mom'swhat's the dumbest in your kid did
insensitivity training for a politically correct world? The Woody Show all right Tuesday in

(01:37:29):
the books, Yes, because ofcourse The Woody Show. And of course
you can always find the full showpodcast right there if you go to the
Woody Show dot com. Anything andeverything going to happen on the show today
you could find there space show subscribe, never miss an episode, never miss
a show. We appreciate you doingthat. Subscribing Coming up for you tomorrow,

(01:37:51):
Woody Show, cartn Arcs everybody,So Agency Bass out in these streets
of patrol and trying to get peopleto the right thing, the moral thing,
and return those carts to the shoppingcart corral. Anything we should know
about tomorrow's episode, Sea Bass.It's gonna be fiery, all right,
So we look forward to a fierycart narks. We've already rolled out our

(01:38:13):
next homework topic. What is yourunpopular opinion? Good? Ye, look,
it's right there in the name unpopular. So don't worry about everybody like
h what you have to say.We're just interested. What is your unpopular
opinion? What? I caught alot of static four years ago, and
I've said it a thousand times sincewhite people look stupid in dreadlocks. Every
time you see a white person withdreads, male, female, doesn't matter

(01:38:34):
you look dumb. Its not foryou. Yeah, and caught a lot
of flak for that. But what'syour unpopular opinion? Leave your feedback on
our Facebook, Facebook dot com slashthe Woody Show, or on that after
hour's voicemail eight seven seven forty fourWoody Yeah, rayby Menace, Sea Bass,
Sammy, anything you like to add? Yeah, great gory parting words
of wisdom please. Yeah. Thehuman body is sixty percent water, so

(01:38:58):
we're actually not fat. We're justfluf flooded. That's a good way.
Look, we'll take anything I canget so flooded. Yeah, yeah,
heavy flooding, big boned, someiroid issue, yeah whatever. I'm going
to tell that to my doctor.I was watching My six hundred Pound Life,
one of the newer episodes, andthis chick she just could not get

(01:39:20):
off start, you know, likeshe'd go there and like wouldn't change anything.
And he's like, well, areyou are you eating breakfast? And
she goes yeah. He goes,but are you hungry? And she goes
no. But I've been told that, you know, if you don't eat
breakfast just slows your metabolism down.Okay, So for breakfast, she was
having waffles, biscuits, eggs,bacon, sausage, grits. It was

(01:39:43):
like this massive and she wasn't hungry, she said, But she didn't want
to slow down her metabolism, soshe ate like a week's worth of breakfast
in God. Yeah, she's gota monsoon inside of her. Yeah.
Anyway, she's still waiting on asturge. She never got anywhere. She
gained weight the whole episode, neverlost abound. That's not how it works,

(01:40:05):
all right, Thank you very much, Great Gory, thank you so
much for give it the one heshows some of your valuable time this morning.
You know we'd love it to appreciateyou for that. The rest of
you guys can suck it. Catchyou back here on Wednesday. Have a
great day. Smdublem quit this bitch,