In this special episode, Paulie & Tony play the most hilarious insults & comebacks to their FOOL producer who always tries to ruin the show. It's pure comedy, people. Perfect joke after perfect joke.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
All right, all right, yo yo yo from Milling.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
It's the number one rated Polly and Tony Fosco show,
Yo yo yo. Always Polly foos go here with Tony
fos go, well, not really here Tony b For our
listeners and viewers at home paying attention. You know you're
you're very keen. You noticed we didn't say live because right,
exactly convocation. But we're also business people. So here's how
(00:32):
the business works people. You see what we do is
we just record this two minute intro and then we
get our loser producer to just build out the rest
of the show and guess what. That's millions of dollars
for us, smart and millions of minutes of entertainment. You
don't have to go a week without missing us. Here's
what we're gonna do today, people, you're gonna love it.
(00:54):
You know, everybody hates our fuck loser producer, right because
he's such a useless idiot who no one hates me.
Oh no, what seals made? Why are you talking? Why
are you talking?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yeah, we're doing the intro and the intro to the
show right exactly.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
See, this is what we're talking about, people, the problems.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
People loves just prove the point.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Nobody hates me. Yeah, have you called home recently? Bro? Nobody?
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Exactly?
Speaker 2 (01:19):
All right, exactly anyway, you know, we get it from
all these people. They love when we talk to our
stupid producer and put them in this place. So as
a special trait for you, what we're gonna do is
we're gonna tell that producer, Hey, just take all the clips,
all the best of which is everything. Just line it
all up, put it all together, you know, make it
twenty thirty forty minutes, whatever you want to do, and
(01:42):
then line them all up the best of corrections. And
that's what we're gonna do for you. So while we
go enjoy our vacation.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
We're on vacation, relaxing, we're keeping him busy so he
doesn't bother any edification.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Which he doesn't deserve. Ex we'll go and now edit this.
All right, We're gonna stop talking here, Jay, and that's
when you're gonna hit play on all this stuff. You understand,
was this too complicated for you? No? Oh?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Okay, good right, don't get smart and you.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Can sit there and cry as you listen to them
all again.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Exactly, all right, let's go on vacation, Paul, I, I don't.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Know if I trust him to put these put this
in the show. I mean, I don't think he's ever
put anything inside anything, if you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Tony, No, it's okay because he has to hit the
upload button. Otherwise I rigged the bomb to go off.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Oh that's great. Yeah, all right, enjoy best of corrections.
Best of corrections.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
You said Dak Prescott is making forty million dollars this
year overpaid.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Bro.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Yeah, no, that's his average annual salary this year. He's
only making thirty one million. You should try to do
research and looking these things up before the show.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Oh, I will. I'll research how to bury a body.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Yeah, and a few hours you're gonna be looking up
at dirt.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Yeay, you're done one, you said Aaron Rodgers. Doctor is
doctor Neil el Attache.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, bro, great doctor.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
His name is pronounced doctor Neil Latrage, not Neil ell Attachi.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Oh yeah, well I'm going through unattachee all of your limbs.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yeah, and Neil is what you're gonna do when we
cut off your feet.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Oh the moon landing, it happened.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
It was a real thing according to you. Yeah, sheep.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
No again, it's been vetted by several third parties. The
only people who believe it was fake are morons like you.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Oh yeah, well you are going to be core vetted
when I run you over with my car.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, you're going to see a moon landing when I
stick my ass in your face.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
You said the Giants offensive lineman would be better if
they worked out less and got fatter.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah, bro, good reasoning science, bro.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Yeah, no, athlete gets better by not exercising and being
in worse shape.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Oh yeah, well you know what shape you're about to
be in a rectangle made of wood.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yeah, don't worry. You'll get plenty of exercise when I
chase you with my axe. Yea, you're going.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
You said the Chargers lost to the Cowboys because Justin
Herbert has a broken finger. Yeah, bro, Clearly the finger
is on his non throwing hand, so it won't affect
how he passes.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Oh yeah, well I'd love to see you pass away.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, here's a finger and my non throwing hand. There
you go. Ohoo.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
You said the Patriots are the worst team in the NFL. Yeah, bro, clearly. Yeah,
the record is one in four. The Caroline Panthers haven't
won a game. They're zero and five. That makes them
the worst team in the NFL.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Oh yeah, well you remind me of a panther because
you're a big puppy.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah, you should adopt the panther because it's the only
way you'll get some putty. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
You said the eighty six Celtics were better than this
year's Nuggets because they had more Hall of famers.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah, bro, yeah, totally, But you do.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Realize all those Celtics players weren't Hall of famers when
they were playing, so that argument is just plain idiotic.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Oh yeah, well, I'd like to see you on a plane.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
That Yeah, you're gonna be like most players in the
Hall of Fame dead. Yeah it done.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
When you were talking about Dak and his girlfriend having
a baby, you mentioned a fourth trimester.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah bro, science bro, No, they're.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Called trimesters because there's only three of them.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Not four.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Oh yeah, well I wish your mom had zero trimesters.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Yeah. The last time you were inside a woman was
your birth, oh said Tyres.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Maxy's points per game went up fifty percent from last
season to this season.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Yeah, bro, historic bro.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
He went from twenty points per game to twenty six points,
so you divide six into twenty to get thirty percent.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Oh yeah, well after the show, I'm going to divide
your legs from your torso.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah, and you also have thirty percent of an adult penis.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Oh you got done.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
You said the author of the book The Art of
War was Shang's song.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, good book, bro, he was a great man. Bro.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Ye.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
No, the author's name is Sun Zou Shang, sung as
a character in the video game Mortal Kombat.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Oh yeah, well, I'm going to bring you to the
zoo as food.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah. You remind me of sub zero because that's the
number of girls that you get. Booo, you're done.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
You said there was a w NBA player named Lisa Loeb.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Yeah, bro, learn your basketball, bro.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Lisa Lobe is a singer. I believe you were thinking
of Lisa Leslie.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Oh yeah, well I'm going to Lisa Carr and run
you over with it.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah. And I'm going to Lobe a grenade and to
your apartment.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
You said serbian athletes are so dominant because of the
nuclear effects of Chernobyl.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Bro, crazy upsetting, but true.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Yeah if that even was true, nuclear radiation doesn't make
it stronger. You only see that happen in comic books,
not in real life.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Oh yeah, well you know what else you only see
in comic books, nerds like you.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Yeah, and you know what's also not in real life?
Your girlfriend? Yay? You said.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Giants quarterback Tommy DeVito was a bust Yay sucks. So
his passer rating is ninety two point four. That's right
behind Jalen Hurts, who is at ninety four point nine.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Oh yeah, well, uh you're a giant.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah. When girls see you on Dinda, they have a
passer rating of one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Bo, realize why there's no such country called Serbia thirty
years ago?
Speaker 1 (09:03):
It's mysterious, bro, very mysterious.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Serbia was part of Yugoslavia, then it declared independence in
two thousand and six. But I shouldn't be surprised if
you don't know that though.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Oh yeah, well, speaking of surprises, wait until you start
your car tonight.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Yeah, forget Yugo Slavia, it's gonna be you go. Kabu
me yea.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
You said the British phrase was tea and trumpets.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Yeah, bro, yeah, that's what they say over there.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Bro, it's tea and crumpets. I'm gonna go on a
lemon and assume you've never been to England.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Oh yeah, well you're gonna go out on my balcony
when I dangle you over it.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Yeah, and I know one place you've never been between
a woman's legs.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Oh did you say top of the iceberg?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Yes it did, Bro, Sure it did. Bro.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Yeah, yeah, you butchered that one too. It's it's not top,
it's tip.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Well you're about to see the tip of my sword.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah. The only thing wigging a butcher is your dead corpse.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Oh shit, we got I mean, remember, buy that shirt
we made in this jerky Yeah, but Jay dot board shirt.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
You can get it on right now.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
You seem to say that Dak Prescott has never won
a playoff game.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah, he sucks. Bro always chokes Bro.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
He has won a playoff game. In fact, he's won
two of them. So it's just not accurate.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Oh yeah, well I'm going to be like Dak Prescott
and choke you.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah. You know what I wish wasn't so accurate. The
sperm that went into your mom Oh you said.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Students who stormed the court should be held in contempt
because a basketball court is.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
A court yeah, bro, it is law and order.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Bro. I know this might be a bold statement, but
that might be the worst take ever.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Oh yeah, well, you know it will be the best
take ever when you take your final breath. Yeah, you know, way,
you will never be held by a woman.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
Oh you said Aaron Rodgers threw zero incompletions in training
camp because you didn't see any on Hard Knocks.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yeah, bro, unbelievable, but it's incredible.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
No, those shows are edited.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
It's a TV show.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Trust me.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
He's thrown many incomplete passes that you haven't seen.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Oh yeah, well you know what, I'm about to edit
your lifespan.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, I wish that when your father hit on your mother,
that was an incomplete pass.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Oh you said Michael Jordan never lost in the first
round of the NBA playoffs.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Never bro, perfect playoff resume.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Yeah, he actually lost in the first round. In his
first three seasons with the Bulls and with the Wizards,
he never made the playoffs.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Oh well, if anyone's an expert on being a loser.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
It's you. Yeah. And after the show, I'm gonna wizard
on your face.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Oh you called the Y two kve a quote dangerous
near miss?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Bro, scary times.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Bro. Yeah, the world almost ended.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Bro. Ye, No it didn't.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
That was just all hype. Nothing actually happened.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Oh yeah, well you know what won't be a near
miss when I shoot at you.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Yeah, and nothing happened is how I would describe the
end of all your dates.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Oh, when you were comparing Bryce young to Dak Prescott,
you showed Bryce Young's stats from last season. So yes,
so he was in college. Of course his stats would
be better in college than in the pros.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Oh yeah, well you know which pro has great stats,
the hitman I hired to kill you.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, I saw your stats from college. Laid zero times. Bo.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
You called Giants QB Tommy DeVito a total bust. Yeah
he sucks. Sucks bro, Yep, he was undrafted. You can't
say someone who is undrafted is a bust.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Oh yeah, well you know what I also can't say
is a bust your mom's chest.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yeah, and you know who else is gonna get drafted?
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Yo?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
After I fought in your face.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Oh, you said the NFL playoffs should take place at
the start of the season.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yeah, Bro, everyone's healthy level playing field, Bro, But.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Then there would be no point in playing the rest
of the season. That's a terrible idea.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Yeah. Well, you know what has a point the knife
I'm going to jam into your back.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Yeah. And you know what else was a terrible idea
when your dad didn't pull out?
Speaker 3 (14:12):
You said the historical figure who stole signs from the
British was Paul Bunyan. Yeah, Bro, American hero Bro. Yeah, No,
you're confusing him with Paul Revere. Paul Bunyan is a
fictional character, not a historical figure.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Oh yeah, well you're going to be a historical figure
after I murder you.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yeah, the next Paul you're going to see is the
Paul bearer at your funeral.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
H You said that whenever Carson Wentz has been benched,
his replacement is always better.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah, Bro, totally got the patterns. Bro.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Yeah, when the Cults replaced Carson Wentz with Matt Ryan,
Matt and Ryan had the worst season of his career.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Oh yeah, well, after the show, you're going to see
a cult my gun.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Yeah. You know what's gonna be a better replacement for
you after this show? When I in your seat.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Oh, you said after the Lions Cowboys game that every
player on the field should be an eligible receiver all the.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Time, Yeah, bro, totally.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yeah, it would improve the game.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
No, it would ruin the game. You could only have
a few eligible receivers at a time.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Oh yeah, well you're eligible to receive my knife.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Yeah. And you know who's always an eligible receiver, your mother.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Oh you said that Jalen Hurts was in danger after
the NFL removed security guard Dom Dessandra.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Yeah, Bro, scary, frightening.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Bro, you do realize there were other security guards on
the field. He wasn't in danger.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Oh yeah, well you know what you're gonna be in
by incinerator.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah you know what dom ever should have been removed
your dad's con domh.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
You said the center for the t Wolves was Rudy Gobert.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Yeah, bro, yeah, that's his name.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
You do you even watch basketball? It's Rudy Gobert.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Oh yeah. Well I can't wait though murder you.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Yeah, and I can't wait to shoot you with my
revolve there.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Oh you said the Eagles are the most clutched team
in the league because they led the NFL last year
in fourth down percentage.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Can't argue the stats, bro, Yeah, that's called research.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Bro. But the Eagles lost six of their last seven
games last year. That's like the opposite of clutch.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Oh yeah, well after the show, you're going to be
the opposite of a.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Live Yeah, I'm gonna opposite on your face till you're dead.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Oh really, Bet Bernhard longer to win the Masters.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Two time chant bro book it, Bro.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
No, not all only, as he's sixty six years old,
he's not playing in this year's tournament.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
I just looked it up.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
He tore his achilles playing pick a ball, so I'm
pretty sure that isn't a can't lose bed.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Oh yeah, well you're gonna burn Hard Laga when I
douse you in kerosene.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah, and you know what, you can't lose your virginity, Tony.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
You said you threw away a powerball ticket that matched
five white numbers.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah, Bro, no participation trophies win his only?
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Yeah, Bro, that ticket was a winner. If you match
five white numbers, you win a million dollars. So you
just threw away a million dollars.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Oh yeah, well, uh, you know what else I'm gonna
throw away your burned corpse.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Yeah you know what. I need more than a million
dollars for you to shut the fuck up.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Oh you said we could solve all these MLB pitching
scandals if you stopped using foreign substances and start using
substances made in America.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Yeah, bro, yeah by American Broye. No no, no no.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
A foreign substance isn't something that's made in another country.
It's called foreign because it doesn't belong in the game.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Oh yeah, well you know what you don't belong in
a woman?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Yeah, and you know what substances foreign to you?
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Vagina. We're coming back on just to wrap up this episode.
We didn't actually listen to the episode. Now, we don't
even know what you just heard, but we assume it
was all good and those all good corrections, all right,
so hopefully you know tell us if something got messed up,
they will fire Jet.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah you know, and.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
When we say fire, we may put him in a
cannon and fire him.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
And light him on fire.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
But also rest assured Nick Foles his book for.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Next say you go me, Hey, Tony. We didn't do
much today, but great job as always.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Yeah, another fawless rerun.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
As far as we know.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Okay, we'll see if thing for next week. See yuh
All right, all right, yo yo yo from Milling.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
It's the number one rated Polly and Tony Fosco show,
Yo yo yo. Always Polly foos go here with Tony
fos go, well, not really here Tony b For our
listeners and viewers at home paying attention. You know you're
you're very keen. You noticed we didn't say live because right,
exactly convocation. But we're also business people. So here's how
(00:32):
the business works people. You see what we do is
we just record this two minute intro and then we
get our loser producer to just build out the rest
of the show and guess what. That's millions of dollars
for us, smart and millions of minutes of entertainment. You
don't have to go a week without missing us. Here's
what we're gonna do today, people, you're gonna love it.
(00:54):
You know, everybody hates our fuck loser producer, right because
he's such a useless idiot who no one hates me.
Oh no, what seals made? Why are you talking? Why
are you talking?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yeah, we're doing the intro and the intro to the
show right exactly.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
See, this is what we're talking about, people, the problems.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
People loves just prove the point.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Nobody hates me. Yeah, have you called home recently? Bro? Nobody?
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Exactly?
Speaker 2 (01:19):
All right, exactly anyway, you know, we get it from
all these people. They love when we talk to our
stupid producer and put them in this place. So as
a special trait for you, what we're gonna do is
we're gonna tell that producer, Hey, just take all the clips,
all the best of which is everything. Just line it
all up, put it all together, you know, make it
twenty thirty forty minutes, whatever you want to do, and
(01:42):
then line them all up the best of corrections. And
that's what we're gonna do for you. So while we
go enjoy our vacation.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
We're on vacation, relaxing, we're keeping him busy so he
doesn't bother any edification.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Which he doesn't deserve. Ex we'll go and now edit this.
All right, We're gonna stop talking here, Jay, and that's
when you're gonna hit play on all this stuff. You understand,
was this too complicated for you? No? Oh?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Okay, good right, don't get smart and you.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Can sit there and cry as you listen to them
all again.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Exactly, all right, let's go on vacation, Paul, I, I don't.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Know if I trust him to put these put this
in the show. I mean, I don't think he's ever
put anything inside anything, if you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Tony, No, it's okay because he has to hit the
upload button. Otherwise I rigged the bomb to go off.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Oh that's great. Yeah, all right, enjoy best of corrections.
Best of corrections.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
You said Dak Prescott is making forty million dollars this
year overpaid.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Bro.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Yeah, no, that's his average annual salary this year. He's
only making thirty one million. You should try to do
research and looking these things up before the show.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Oh, I will. I'll research how to bury a body.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Yeah, and a few hours you're gonna be looking up
at dirt.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Yeay, you're done one, you said Aaron Rodgers. Doctor is
doctor Neil el Attache.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, bro, great doctor.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
His name is pronounced doctor Neil Latrage, not Neil ell Attachi.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Oh yeah, well I'm going through unattachee all of your limbs.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yeah, and Neil is what you're gonna do when we
cut off your feet.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Oh the moon landing, it happened.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
It was a real thing according to you. Yeah, sheep.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
No again, it's been vetted by several third parties. The
only people who believe it was fake are morons like you.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Oh yeah, well you are going to be core vetted
when I run you over with my car.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, you're going to see a moon landing when I
stick my ass in your face.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
You said the Giants offensive lineman would be better if
they worked out less and got fatter.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah, bro, good reasoning science, bro.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Yeah, no, athlete gets better by not exercising and being
in worse shape.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Oh yeah, well you know what shape you're about to
be in a rectangle made of wood.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Yeah, don't worry. You'll get plenty of exercise when I
chase you with my axe. Yea, you're going.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
You said the Chargers lost to the Cowboys because Justin
Herbert has a broken finger. Yeah, bro, Clearly the finger
is on his non throwing hand, so it won't affect
how he passes.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Oh yeah, well I'd love to see you pass away.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, here's a finger and my non throwing hand. There
you go. Ohoo.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
You said the Patriots are the worst team in the NFL. Yeah, bro, clearly. Yeah,
the record is one in four. The Caroline Panthers haven't
won a game. They're zero and five. That makes them
the worst team in the NFL.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Oh yeah, well you remind me of a panther because
you're a big puppy.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah, you should adopt the panther because it's the only
way you'll get some putty. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
You said the eighty six Celtics were better than this
year's Nuggets because they had more Hall of famers.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah, bro, yeah, totally, But you do.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Realize all those Celtics players weren't Hall of famers when
they were playing, so that argument is just plain idiotic.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Oh yeah, well, I'd like to see you on a plane.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
That Yeah, you're gonna be like most players in the
Hall of Fame dead. Yeah it done.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
When you were talking about Dak and his girlfriend having
a baby, you mentioned a fourth trimester.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah bro, science bro, No, they're.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Called trimesters because there's only three of them.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Not four.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Oh yeah, well I wish your mom had zero trimesters.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Yeah. The last time you were inside a woman was
your birth, oh said Tyres.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Maxy's points per game went up fifty percent from last
season to this season.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Yeah, bro, historic bro.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
He went from twenty points per game to twenty six points,
so you divide six into twenty to get thirty percent.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Oh yeah, well after the show, I'm going to divide
your legs from your torso.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah, and you also have thirty percent of an adult penis.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Oh you got done.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
You said the author of the book The Art of
War was Shang's song.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, good book, bro, he was a great man. Bro.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Ye.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
No, the author's name is Sun Zou Shang, sung as
a character in the video game Mortal Kombat.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Oh yeah, well, I'm going to bring you to the
zoo as food.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah. You remind me of sub zero because that's the
number of girls that you get. Booo, you're done.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
You said there was a w NBA player named Lisa Loeb.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Yeah, bro, learn your basketball, bro.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Lisa Lobe is a singer. I believe you were thinking
of Lisa Leslie.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Oh yeah, well I'm going to Lisa Carr and run
you over with it.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah. And I'm going to Lobe a grenade and to
your apartment.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
You said serbian athletes are so dominant because of the
nuclear effects of Chernobyl.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Bro, crazy upsetting, but true.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Yeah if that even was true, nuclear radiation doesn't make
it stronger. You only see that happen in comic books,
not in real life.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Oh yeah, well you know what else you only see
in comic books, nerds like you.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Yeah, and you know what's also not in real life?
Your girlfriend? Yay? You said.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Giants quarterback Tommy DeVito was a bust Yay sucks. So
his passer rating is ninety two point four. That's right
behind Jalen Hurts, who is at ninety four point nine.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Oh yeah, well, uh you're a giant.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah. When girls see you on Dinda, they have a
passer rating of one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Bo, realize why there's no such country called Serbia thirty
years ago?
Speaker 1 (09:03):
It's mysterious, bro, very mysterious.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Serbia was part of Yugoslavia, then it declared independence in
two thousand and six. But I shouldn't be surprised if
you don't know that though.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Oh yeah, well, speaking of surprises, wait until you start
your car tonight.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Yeah, forget Yugo Slavia, it's gonna be you go. Kabu
me yea.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
You said the British phrase was tea and trumpets.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Yeah, bro, yeah, that's what they say over there.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Bro, it's tea and crumpets. I'm gonna go on a
lemon and assume you've never been to England.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Oh yeah, well you're gonna go out on my balcony
when I dangle you over it.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Yeah, and I know one place you've never been between
a woman's legs.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Oh did you say top of the iceberg?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Yes it did, Bro, Sure it did. Bro.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Yeah, yeah, you butchered that one too. It's it's not top,
it's tip.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Well you're about to see the tip of my sword.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah. The only thing wigging a butcher is your dead corpse.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Oh shit, we got I mean, remember, buy that shirt
we made in this jerky Yeah, but Jay dot board shirt.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
You can get it on right now.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
You seem to say that Dak Prescott has never won
a playoff game.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah, he sucks. Bro always chokes Bro.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
He has won a playoff game. In fact, he's won
two of them. So it's just not accurate.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Oh yeah, well I'm going to be like Dak Prescott
and choke you.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah. You know what I wish wasn't so accurate. The
sperm that went into your mom Oh you said.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Students who stormed the court should be held in contempt
because a basketball court is.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
A court yeah, bro, it is law and order.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Bro. I know this might be a bold statement, but
that might be the worst take ever.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Oh yeah, well, you know it will be the best
take ever when you take your final breath. Yeah, you know, way,
you will never be held by a woman.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
Oh you said Aaron Rodgers threw zero incompletions in training
camp because you didn't see any on Hard Knocks.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yeah, bro, unbelievable, but it's incredible.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
No, those shows are edited.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
It's a TV show.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Trust me.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
He's thrown many incomplete passes that you haven't seen.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Oh yeah, well you know what, I'm about to edit
your lifespan.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, I wish that when your father hit on your mother,
that was an incomplete pass.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Oh you said Michael Jordan never lost in the first
round of the NBA playoffs.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Never bro, perfect playoff resume.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Yeah, he actually lost in the first round. In his
first three seasons with the Bulls and with the Wizards,
he never made the playoffs.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Oh well, if anyone's an expert on being a loser.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
It's you. Yeah. And after the show, I'm gonna wizard
on your face.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Oh you called the Y two kve a quote dangerous
near miss?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Bro, scary times.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Bro. Yeah, the world almost ended.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Bro. Ye, No it didn't.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
That was just all hype. Nothing actually happened.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Oh yeah, well you know what won't be a near
miss when I shoot at you.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Yeah, and nothing happened is how I would describe the
end of all your dates.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Oh, when you were comparing Bryce young to Dak Prescott,
you showed Bryce Young's stats from last season. So yes,
so he was in college. Of course his stats would
be better in college than in the pros.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Oh yeah, well you know which pro has great stats,
the hitman I hired to kill you.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, I saw your stats from college. Laid zero times. Bo.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
You called Giants QB Tommy DeVito a total bust. Yeah
he sucks. Sucks bro, Yep, he was undrafted. You can't
say someone who is undrafted is a bust.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Oh yeah, well you know what I also can't say
is a bust your mom's chest.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yeah, and you know who else is gonna get drafted?
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Yo?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
After I fought in your face.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Oh, you said the NFL playoffs should take place at
the start of the season.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yeah, Bro, everyone's healthy level playing field, Bro, But.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Then there would be no point in playing the rest
of the season. That's a terrible idea.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Yeah. Well, you know what has a point the knife
I'm going to jam into your back.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Yeah. And you know what else was a terrible idea
when your dad didn't pull out?
Speaker 3 (14:12):
You said the historical figure who stole signs from the
British was Paul Bunyan. Yeah, Bro, American hero Bro. Yeah, No,
you're confusing him with Paul Revere. Paul Bunyan is a
fictional character, not a historical figure.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Oh yeah, well you're going to be a historical figure
after I murder you.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yeah, the next Paul you're going to see is the
Paul bearer at your funeral.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
H You said that whenever Carson Wentz has been benched,
his replacement is always better.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah, Bro, totally got the patterns. Bro.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Yeah, when the Cults replaced Carson Wentz with Matt Ryan,
Matt and Ryan had the worst season of his career.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Oh yeah, well, after the show, you're going to see
a cult my gun.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Yeah. You know what's gonna be a better replacement for
you after this show? When I in your seat.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Oh, you said after the Lions Cowboys game that every
player on the field should be an eligible receiver all the.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Time, Yeah, bro, totally.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yeah, it would improve the game.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
No, it would ruin the game. You could only have
a few eligible receivers at a time.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Oh yeah, well you're eligible to receive my knife.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Yeah. And you know who's always an eligible receiver, your mother.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Oh you said that Jalen Hurts was in danger after
the NFL removed security guard Dom Dessandra.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Yeah, Bro, scary, frightening.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Bro, you do realize there were other security guards on
the field. He wasn't in danger.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Oh yeah, well you know what you're gonna be in
by incinerator.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah you know what dom ever should have been removed
your dad's con domh.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
You said the center for the t Wolves was Rudy Gobert.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Yeah, bro, yeah, that's his name.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
You do you even watch basketball? It's Rudy Gobert.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Oh yeah. Well I can't wait though murder you.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Yeah, and I can't wait to shoot you with my
revolve there.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Oh you said the Eagles are the most clutched team
in the league because they led the NFL last year
in fourth down percentage.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Can't argue the stats, bro, Yeah, that's called research.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Bro. But the Eagles lost six of their last seven
games last year. That's like the opposite of clutch.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Oh yeah, well after the show, you're going to be
the opposite of a.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Live Yeah, I'm gonna opposite on your face till you're dead.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Oh really, Bet Bernhard longer to win the Masters.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Two time chant bro book it, Bro.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
No, not all only, as he's sixty six years old,
he's not playing in this year's tournament.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
I just looked it up.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
He tore his achilles playing pick a ball, so I'm
pretty sure that isn't a can't lose bed.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Oh yeah, well you're gonna burn Hard Laga when I
douse you in kerosene.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yeah, and you know what, you can't lose your virginity, Tony.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
You said you threw away a powerball ticket that matched
five white numbers.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah, Bro, no participation trophies win his only?
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Yeah, Bro, that ticket was a winner. If you match
five white numbers, you win a million dollars. So you
just threw away a million dollars.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Oh yeah, well, uh, you know what else I'm gonna
throw away your burned corpse.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Yeah you know what. I need more than a million
dollars for you to shut the fuck up.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Oh you said we could solve all these MLB pitching
scandals if you stopped using foreign substances and start using
substances made in America.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
Yeah, bro, yeah by American Broye. No no, no no.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
A foreign substance isn't something that's made in another country.
It's called foreign because it doesn't belong in the game.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Oh yeah, well you know what you don't belong in
a woman?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Yeah, and you know what substances foreign to you?
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Vagina. We're coming back on just to wrap up this episode.
We didn't actually listen to the episode. Now, we don't
even know what you just heard, but we assume it
was all good and those all good corrections, all right,
so hopefully you know tell us if something got messed up,
they will fire Jet.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah you know, and.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
When we say fire, we may put him in a
cannon and fire him.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
And light him on fire.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
But also rest assured Nick Foles his book for.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Next say you go me, Hey, Tony. We didn't do
much today, but great job as always.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Yeah, another fawless rerun.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
As far as we know.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Okay, we'll see if thing for next week. See yuh
Fox Sports Radio News
Host
Jonas Knox
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