March 6, 2022 • 42 mins
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Maller is in the podcast studio with Danny G. to have some fun with the mail bag, answering select P1 questions from the #MallerMilitia on this edition! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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(01:01):
know the big stuff, like making sure your kids are
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old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill
poppers in the penthouse the clearing House of hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere as we
(01:48):
are back at it on a Sunday Sunday edition of
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g You
provide you with all of your male bagnids, Danny, as
we gave the Mallard travelogue on Saturday, and you told
an amazing story about the beauty of children, the innocence
(02:11):
of children, and how you don't mess with their string cheese. Yeah,
and you told an amazing story about how you should
not parlay UFC bets no, no round robin parlay. And
I felt like such a schmuck. I said, what are
you doing? That's a clump pussy right there. But anyway
you can hear that on the Saturday podcast. We got
(02:33):
a lot of mail. We have limited time, Danny ge,
so I think we should get to that right now.
And the answer the people's questions. These are all questions
sent in by actual listeners of the show, real human beings,
real human beings that have sent their messages in. But
before we get the party started, we must have the
proper open to the festivities. All right. Thank you to
(03:05):
ohio Al for that little ditty. We appreciate that, and
we thank you all for sending questions in. And the
first one comes from Rick from San Ramon. He says,
last week's podcast February was the most entertaining since Danny
g came back. You guys had me laughing my butt off.
(03:26):
Thank you Danny for digging up the hot Carrelson drop.
Still funny as hell. Also, to add to your bleep conversation,
I used to listen to Howard Stern every morning when
he was on commercial radio back in the midnighties. Part
of the reason I thought his show was so funny
was the bleeping out of the curse words. Now that
(03:48):
he's on satellite radio, it's not as funny anyway. Thanks
for continuing to entertain. You make my Sunday night walks
much more enjoyable, says Rick, from San Ramons, So thank you.
And so we talked about cursing on the on the
podcast and you know this, that and the other thing.
And it took me a ship ton of time last
(04:13):
week in posts production to get that many fucking bleeps
into the podcast. Listen, you are such a motherfucker you
piece of ship is what you are, all right, motherfucker exactly.
But we will keep it up any And I agree
with Rick because I think we're probably around the same age.
The the art of saying bad things without actually saying
(04:34):
bad things is a skill and there's something impressive about that.
A blind Scott from the North end of Boston right
and says, Hey, can you do me a favor on
the mailbag? Uh? He says, please? Uh can you tell
the story about Henry Hill and how he was trying
to break into the radio station? He says, I used
to listen to him on the Howard Stern Show back
in the day, and uh, the dude from Good Fellas.
(04:57):
He says, I'm sure a lot of listeners would like
to know the story. Uh. I yeah, I can tell
that story, blind Scott real quick. I can't give the
full version. But years ago Greg Bergman was my producer
at Fox Sports Radio and I was doing the the
Ben Mallor Show. This probably goes back oh Man fourteen
fifteen years something along those lines, a long time ago.
And so in those days, I before the show, I
(05:20):
was doing the overnight show, and I had to go
out of the studio and I call into the local
affiliate in l a AM five seventy the late great
Joe McDonald was hosting a nighttime show, and so I
would do cross talk with him, where I promote my
show and talk to him about whatever is going on.
So I would walk out of the radio station out
on There's a side door and I would walk out
(05:42):
and kind of walk down right on the corner of
So Paulvida Inventura, and that's where I would just talk.
You know, it was nighttime, there's nobody around. But on
this night it was during the summer, and I walked
out before the show and I walked by this guy
that was kind of disheveled, looked a little with a
lot of sorts and uh, he said, are you on
(06:03):
the radio? And uh? And I said, as I remember,
I said no, no, I'm not on the ray. I
kept walking even though I was walking out of radio station.
So I walked out of the radio station. I went down,
I did my my business. I walked back. The guy
is still there. Now he's close to the door and
he's uh. He's you're you were just here. You lied
(06:25):
to me or something like that. You're on the radio
and uh. And then and like uh no, and I'm
not on the on the radio. And he says, I'm
Henry fucking Hill, and I want to get on the radio.
I have a story to tell and I want to
get on the radio. He's cursing every other word, you know, funk,
this ship, that, all this stuff. So I'm looking at
this guy. I'm like, man, oh man, this guy's nuts.
(06:47):
He thinks he's Henry Hill, the guy from Goodfellas. So
I was able to get past the door. Now the
guy gets piste because he saw me get in the studio.
I used my card key to get in. Now he
sees me in, so now I closed it are quickly
and he starts banging with both fists on the door.
He's hammering the door. And I told Bergman, my lightweight
(07:09):
producer at the time, Burgie, I said, take care of this,
you know, take care of this, don't make sure he
doesn't get in here. And I walked away right I
walked into the other studio and we were talking about
a show and my favorite movie of all time as
Good Fellows. I love the I love the movie. It's
my my favorite mob movie. We talked about one of
the guys that you should you should check the go
(07:31):
on Google see if it's it's act. Maybe it's actually him.
And I went on Google images. It was Henry Hill,
a man that had killed people. Gotta murder, I gotta
go in the mob Henry Hill, and I walked right
by him, like it was so crazy, Danny. I guess
he had been in the witness protection program but they
(07:53):
had gotten him. He was living in Sherman Oaks, which
is where Fox Sports radio studios are located, moving to Burbank,
but it's still to this day that is probably the
craziest thing that's ever happened to me in that building.
It's wild. He pissed him off. You're lucky he didn't
whack you. Well, he was so hammered. I don't think
he I don't think he knew what which way was
(08:15):
up and down at that point. But still you see somebody.
I'm Henry Hill you oh yeah, sure you are. And
I'm Santa Clause you know it. But yeah, anyway, Jared
from Parts Unknown rights and he says, given your love
of words, origins and all not mentioned, not to mention
your vocabulary being larger than all the other radios. Woll,
(08:36):
that's nice sucking up from you, Jared, thank you. What
are your favorite words, Danny? Do you have any as well?
He says, endeavor, cool sounding, easy to use, Sue sayer,
plucky are his favorites. That's from Jared. Yeah, so I
have a sliding schaggle. First, I have a sliding scale.
I like the word hornswoggle. That's a fun word. I
(08:58):
like words that are fun to say that kind of
make you smile. Your prony is a good word, mama, luke,
gobbled the gook, uh. Those are all words that are
pretty good. And I like learning new new phrases. And
I've often said that all we have is words, right,
Danny were spoken word radio. So it's we're pretty much
(09:19):
saying the same thing. I give the same rant all
the time. But the only thing that can make us
stand out a little bit is to change the words.
I mean, we're we're talking about Aaron Rodgers five days
a week. There's only so many. You gotta change it up,
you know, you gotta mix in a little a little spice.
What are some words that you love, Danny. The first
ones that come to mind, bamboozled, it's a good one.
(09:39):
How about effervescent. Effervescent is a big word. Yeah, these
are probably the only big words I know. Um. I mean,
I like when you put a couple of the same
letters together, like in the nineties. You know, we were
kids of the nineties and we would always say funky fresh,
(09:59):
Sure some good back to backwards, funky fresh for the nineties. Well,
you're talking about a literation. So I love Brian Wheeler,
who used to be the voice of the Trailblazers and
be amazing, astonishing, you know, astounding, you know that kind
of difficult, demanding, daunting, boom shaka la ka la ka
a right, they are taxed, tormented and tortured, you know. So, yeah,
(10:23):
those are all fun things. And I try to change
it up. I do. There's a few words that I
kind of get caught on that I just keep repeating
because they're in my lexicon, and and I go with it. So,
but there's there's a lot of different words out there
that we have endless amounts of words. So thank you
for that. Jared Mike from Fullerton writes in on the
(10:45):
mail bag, he says, uh oh, I didn't play the
that's a bad job by me. Hold on, excuse me.
Mike from Fullerton says, hey, Ben after hitting it out
of the park as a guest host on daytime Radio,
what TV show pastor present? Would you like to be
a guest host on? Danny? G you two? So? Any
of the Steve Harvey properties feud would be a lot
(11:06):
of fun. I knew you were going to say. Family. Yeah, my,
I think Family it's a great show. I love that show.
That would be really good. I think I could have
some fun with that. I used to watch when I
was a kid. A ditch school. Prices Right, that's still on.
I'll have a different host, so Prices Right would be good.
Any of those game shows I think would be cool
(11:28):
to do. What about you, Danny, what's if you could
fill in on a TV show pastor present? According to Mike,
which one would you pick? Well? In honor of Timderni tips,
I'd have to say I would love to fill in
for Chuck Woolery. Oh yeah, love connecting back and be
back in two and two. Yes, love can or you
could be on what's a radio show? But love Line? Yeah,
(11:49):
the love Line when you were younger, and who was
your favorite? Now? Dr Drew was on love Line for forever.
Drew was good. Adam Corolla that show he was, but
they had Striker was the co host and the poor
Man Who's uh, we should get him on the pod
because is he still around? The poor Man I'm not
(12:10):
sure he'd have to be really old, but maybe we
can track him down. Poor Man's inn l a radio
guy like the rock and roll version of Vic the Brick.
Who's the sports you know, the sports guy? And and
he was the original host of Love Line. He sued
and there was a bunch of stuff that got on.
But that would be that too. And then one last one,
I would say in It's hey day when Vanah White
(12:32):
was super hot, because that show. How many years has
Wheel of Fortune been on? Now? Pat Sajax still looks
exactly the same food. When we were little kids, though,
people wanted to bang Vanah White really bad. And you
imagine being the host of that show oh sure. And
then but she also had the Price Is Right. They
(12:53):
had those showcase showdown girls or whatever they were on
there that was also popular, and I think there were
some scandals with that. Oh yeah, Bob bar was famous
for hooking up with those Prices Right girls. In fact,
he got sued and that was a big deal when
we were kids. He was always in the news for
being sued for sexual arresting. Well, the women were impressed
by that little pencil dick microphone that he had. That
(13:16):
was pretty impressive. But he did all the booking and
I bet he did. Yeah, Jennifer and Richmond Virginia right,
since says, hey, Ben and Danny g Online passwords are
a pain and I keep mind pretty similar to each other. Uh,
and I take I make notes of them. But do
you take the time to come up with unique, clever
(13:37):
passwords for everything? Uh? No, Jennifer, absolutely not. I did
not come up with unique passwords. I hate the work email,
which I don't really check, and I have to reset
it every six months, and you can't use the same
password you've used in the past, and so I'll have
to write that down. I usually forget it and I
have to call one of the bosses and say, hey,
(13:58):
I got locked out of the email, like because like
three or four times a year, maybe not that many times.
There's a couple of times a year. We have to
do training online training, so I have to use my
work email. But other than that, I never look at
it because it's you know, that's the first thing they
get rid of. I learned when they did get rid
of me in oh nine. That's the first thing they
get rid of is your email. So I don't even
bother with it. Uh And and the other thing about
(14:21):
that I know from some people in the cyber world, well,
it seems great to have a really hard password. A
lot of times people who steal passwords will just get
access to the full database, so it doesn't even matter,
you know what I mean. You can have the hardest
password in the world. But if if the people that
you know hacking to the website get all the passwords,
(14:43):
what are you gonna do and have your password? So anyway,
vols fan Jimmy from Fayttville, Tennessee, sis for both you guys.
With gasoline crisis soaring so high, have you considered buying
an electric car? Yeah? I actually had a gas electric
hybrid that was you could go like, you know, eighty
miles on the on the electric or something like that.
(15:06):
I had to get rid of that car was a Lemon.
So we had to return that car. The Mallard Moobile
was a Lemon. I remember that. Now you would be
paying more attention to this if you were driving to
the studio every day like back in the day. Yeah. Well,
my wife drives a lot to work. She's got along,
so you guys still have to budget a lot of gas. Yeah, yeah,
(15:27):
she's you know, it's it's a it's a marathon. It's
a lot of time in traffic. And well, speaking of gas,
when I was in Vegas, you want to talk about
price gouging. So I went to the Costco in Vegas.
Always that's why I go. I'm a Costco, love Costco.
So gas was really cheap at Costco in Vegas. It
was like three dollars and fifty nine cents or something
like that. Kirkland brand Gas brand gas, the best kind
(15:50):
of gas. It is. It is the don't play the
buzzer wrong. It's not wrong. Okay, it's a really good
brand of gas. Anyway, So I got the gas and
and then I'm driving out and then we get to
Prim where I went into the ghost town. Told the
story about the ghost town. So I get the Prim.
Now this is in Nevada, so it's the same tax,
(16:10):
it's the same everything as the Costco in in Vegas.
And it's all the trucks that take the gasoline to
Vegas from l A have to go down that highway,
so it's not like it's out of the way. They
were charging five dollars in like sixty nine cents for
the same gas. Uh, this was not obviously Costco. This
(16:31):
was a name brand price gouging gas station, but over
two dollars more a gallon. And they were totally taking
advantage of the whole Russia invading the Ukraine thing, that
old deal. And yeah, it's another form of COVID blaming.
You could just blame any increase on COVID or now
(16:53):
the war. And also so yeah, supply chain issues because
of COVID and all all of that. I got mail,
I got mail, yea, because of trucking. It's because of ships.
Screw you pay me. And we're live here outside the
Perez family home just waiting for the and there they go,
(17:15):
almost on time. This morning. Mom is coming out the
front door, strong with a double arm kid carry. Looks
like dad has the bags. Daughter is bringing up the rear.
Oh but the diaper bag wasn't closed. Diapers and toys
are everywhere. Oh but mom has just nailed the perfect
car seat buckle for the toddler. And now the eldest daughter,
(17:37):
who looks to be about nine or ten, has secured
herself in the booster seat. Dad zips the bag closed
and they're off. Ah, but looks like Mom doesn't realize
her coffee cup is still on the roof of the
car and there it goes. Ah. That's a shame that
mug was a fan favorite. Don't sweat the small stuff,
just nail the big stuff, like making sure your kids
(17:58):
are buckled correctly in the right seat for their agents size.
Learn more n h t s A dot gov slash
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The forest is closer than you think. Find a forest
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(19:06):
brought to you by the United States Forest Service and
the AD Council. Yeah, this, that or the other thing.
Did you see Burger King? I think I read online
Burger King. They're not going to lower the price of
the chicken nuggets, but instead of giving you ten, they're
gonna give you eight. I don't want to eat any
(19:26):
of those. Well, I hear you, but I'm just saying,
like it's do they realize that that is inflation. You're
paying the same and getting less that that they're making
it seem like, well, we're not going to raise our prices. Well,
but but you're giving people less for the same amount,
so they're paying more for less. Burger King, I have
an idea for you make your shitty fries taste better.
(19:50):
My my, my, one of my grandfather loved, loved uh.
He loved going and enjoying Burger King. And I was
never a big burg drinking fan. Burger King was good
when we were kids. My mom would hold that out
when we would go to church on Sunday. That was
her bride. Do you guys are good and you make
(20:11):
it through the song and you make it through prayer
without laughing and causing a scene. I will take you
to get a hamburger at Burger King. The ingredients were quality.
I know that they went through an ownership change and
their ingredients have went down the toilet. Do they still
have the long I haven't even Burger King in a
long time, but they still have the long chicken sandwich.
(20:33):
I think so the oldest chicken sandwich out there as
far as a fast food restaurant. Burger King's got to
be up there. Yeah, and that's been trumped by I mean,
everyone's got a fast food sandwich, right, it's just bait
taste like anyway, all right, I don't know who we
answered Jimmy's question, though, I I would be open to
(20:56):
get an electric car, especially now I'm not driving as much.
But I'm really concerned about the mileage because they don't
get a lot of miles. So I go out, like
go on road trips, and I think it would be
a pain in the ask to have to stop for
an hour to charge the car every two d miles
or something like that. Yeah, and I'm an old school guy.
I've always liked fast cars, and I've been driving a
(21:18):
stick shift the past four years. So give me some
open road and some gasoline. Baby burn baby burns. Pierre
and Springfield Masses uses some of the Pro Basketball Hall
of Fame where you can see Muffett McGraw and trying.
He says, Ben, what was your total windfall from the
Vegas Sports book last weekend? And he says number two?
(21:40):
Since you won't answer number one, he Pierre knows me. Yeah,
for financial reasons, I never reveal how much I win
or lose. For that matter. But if you, of course,
if you win too much, I think, what is it?
Twenty five hundred is that the number? If you get
over one wind, they hand you a paper for taxes.
(22:01):
I know with DraftKings, if you win over six hundred
dollars you have to claim it. Always it over six
hundred draft kings. I didn't realize that, but I know
in Vegas at the casinos, if you if you went
over a certain amount, I think it's maybe it's lower now,
So you want to win about a thousand each time
and go back to your room and then come back
and win another thousand, because then you can avoid having
(22:23):
you know, not not that you should avoid paying taxes, Danny,
I'm not saying that at all, But if you chose
to try to avoid paying the taxes, yeah, you could
conceivably do that, right, Yeah, I mean there's ways around that.
So uh, and just tell the government that you really
needed all of that money because of the war. Anyways,
(22:47):
it says, do you do you see yourself pulling a
Musburger and moving to Vegas to do a gambling show
and living out your days as a whale at the casino? Yeah? Well,
I know it's not my Oh, I'm in a partnership.
I'm in a marriage, so it's not totally my call.
But I could. I could live in Vegas. I think
I would. I do pretty well there. He just called
(23:08):
you a whale. I resembled that comment. So yes, I
resembled that comment absolutely. All right, let's see who is
next year? Any meany mighty mode? Gary a big shot
in the donut business. Rights. He says, I listen on
I Heart Radio and can't seem to find where to
(23:30):
review this program. I have been listening for a couple
of years now, and I says, the monologues are spot on,
your syndicated or cynical. I think you mean cynical. Cynical
mind is one of a kind. I listen every night,
or listen to download shows until you are alive. Keep
it up. The fifth Hour has been better with Danny g.
(23:52):
The staff is awesome, the militia is something else. Thanks
for keeping me tired all day. That is. I don't
know if he wants me to. I don't know that
I need to say where he works, but he's at
a very famous donut chain. He's in management, Danny, and
they're very famous in Boston. And they might love Tim Duncan.
(24:14):
They might be fans of Tim Duncan the basketball player. Yeah,
and I might drink their coffee sometimes. I hear you,
I hear you. Yeah. I went into one of those
places and I asked for a cinnamon roll and they
looked at me like I was insane. They said, what
is that? I guess in certain parts of the country
they call that a coffee roll. I think the lady
(24:35):
looked at me crazy because she's like, don't we don't
have donut hose? And I'm like, donut hose, no hose,
what's wrong with you? Come on like I'm not for sale? Yeah? Uh,
let's see who is next year? Come back, pay attention.
It's time from now. Thank you, Gary. That was a
(24:56):
very nice review. I'll send you a link. Maybe our
already have sent you a link, and you can write
your own review. Nick in was I think you just
did though. Just copy and paste that. Nick and Wisconsin
says Benn and Danny if it were old school WWF
slash w W Who told you? We told you you
(25:18):
want to take your tag team partner says that you
got to pick a tag team partner. Danny between st
Tammy and Montana and judgmental Helen. So these are the
two feuding women. Who do you want to go first? Danny,
who would you pick? I don't know Helen enough to
know if she would be a good partner in the ring.
(25:39):
I obviously I am more familiar with Tammy because she
was on the show back when I was part of
your live radio show. Helen, I only know from the podcast.
But boy, based on their back and forth, it sounds
like Tammy might gouge some eyes out. Yeah. Well, Tammy
is the the sweet woman who's got like an unbelievable rage,
(26:04):
like a mama bear. Yeah, like a mom exactly, like
a mama bear. Ask any park ranger, what is the
most dangerous situation to be in? Getting near a baby?
Come and you're dead meat? So I would say Dammy
for that reason. Yeah, all right, So you take Tammy
and I'll take Helen. Because Helen, you know, she's from
New York, so she's got a little great tour and uh,
(26:27):
you know, probably always kind of going around a little
cynical and all that stuff, and uh and she doesn't
even pretend to be nice. She's just that's all she
I mean, just attack attack, attack, attack, So we gotta
set that up, a steel cage deathmatch. Let's get it on,
get along, bring it on, bring it on in one corner.
(26:51):
All right. See Helen doesn't call the radio show. If
she called the radio show, I could make that happen
on the live radio show. I guess it's possible we
could do it on the podcast to though I'm not
sure how the logistics of all that would work. I
think I would have to buy some more equipment to do.
Maybe another phone. You only take one call at a
time where I am right now? Yeah, all right, Uh,
(27:15):
let's see we have Carlos in Houston. He says, little
word of advice for everyone who is listening, don't listen
to last week's podcast. We're working out so hilarious. I
just want to know how do I get on the
Mallard payroll. I know Chris and Houston moved on to
the day shift, and you need a Houston caller. Yeah,
(27:37):
we had that guy that called for a while from
the factory who was just really bored, and then I
ripped him and then he got upset and became feisty
and he stopped calling. So yeah, I think we're deficient
in Houston College. We've always had a couple of callers
from Houston, but right now we're a little short there.
It's weird because you always speak so highly of their
(27:57):
professional teams. Well, I am a kind as you know, Danny.
I speak the truth and many people can't handle the truth,
and so I have to explain these things. And h
that's right, absolutely correct on that anyway, he says, uh
with Hughes Chris moving on to the day ship, he says,
you need a Houston caller also, Danny, we need that
(28:19):
drop that says that is a complete load of crap,
and maybe you'll also be able to find it. He says,
so a drop request for you, a complete load of crap.
Carlos also said I just want to say, fuck Rob Manford.
I missed baseball because it was the only thing to
look forward to since the Rockets and Texans suck ass
uh so, so says Carlos. Well, okay, thank you for that, Carlos.
(28:43):
I second that, man, and I know you got to
talk to John Morossy on Friday. It's funny because a
few days ago my queen Sinderoni asked me, so does
this mean baseball is not going to start on time.
And I said, that's exactly what it means. And she said,
look those guys, she's that's her favorite sports. She wants
(29:04):
Dodgers back, she wants baseball back. And I think she
spoke for the whole country when she said funk all
those guys. Yeah, no, I agree with the Queen Tinderoni
there and these players and the owners are quiet, quiet
and trying to get everyone in else they all are
using the fan as a as a prop, as a
(29:24):
pond in this, and their fans caught in the crossfire.
The players don't give a shit about the fans. The
owners don't give a shit about the fans. That's the reality.
If they did, they'd all take less money and lower
the price of tickets and lower the price of cable
television how much they get from television. They lower the
price of beer, hot dogs and all that. If they
(29:46):
ultimately really cared about the fan, the stuff would not
be as expensive it is as it is to go
to a game. So when they say we when they
say we care about the fans, all fake news. It
didn't happen, damn right, Well, and that did happen. They
did say it. But yeah, Bed last season, we had
to fly to Colorado to see our Dodgers in order
(30:07):
to get reasonable ticket prices. Nachos that were eight dollars.
Eight dollars. You know what eight dollars gets you at
Dodgers Stadium. Yeah, you get some catchup packets is what
you get. If you're lucky, you get a side of
ranch for eight dollars at Dodgers Stadium. Oh yeah, that's
another thing that's changed in our life. When I was
a kid, the Dodgers, owned by the O'Malley family, used
(30:29):
to brag they were the greatest deal in town. And
they were. They didn't have a lot of options, didn't
have a lot of options at the concession stand, but
everything was cheap. And I remember when when I started
going out there a lot in the media. O'Malley still
on the team. There were no advertising side. That thing
was pure. And now it is like a bathroom stall
(30:53):
in Jersey with all the writing on it and all
that stuff. It's uh pretty, I mean, I get it.
I would probably do the same thing if I own
the Dodges, But it's just changed so much in my lifetime.
It's pretty wild. What grows in the forest trees. Sure
you know what else grows in the forest. Our imagination,
(31:13):
our sense of wonder, and our family bonds grow too,
because when we disconnect from this and connect with this,
we reconnect with each other. The forest is closer than
you think. Find a forest near you and start exploring.
I Discover the Forest dot org brought to you by
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(31:37):
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(31:57):
this fascinating world? Find a forest near you and start
exploring and discover the forest dot org brought to you
by the United States Forest Service and the AD Council.
If I could be you and you could be me
for just one hour, if you could find a way
to get inside each other's mind, walk a mile in
my shoes, wacome mile in my shoes shoes. We've all
(32:21):
felt left out, and for some that feeling lasts more
than a moment. We can change that. Learn how it
belonging begins with us dot org. Brought to you by
the AD Council. Welcome out in the shoes. Let's see
who is next year. You've got mail. Ozzy Momentum says
two questions. Danny, you seem like a masculine, do it
(32:44):
yourself type of guy. Ben Uso, what's you? How dare you?
What's your go to power tool at home? If you
have any? I do have to toolboxes, but but no
power tools to speak of. I've always had to borrow.
I don't need them that often to invest into having
my own. The last couple of things I put together
(33:06):
furniture wise, where they called for a power drill, I
just did it by hand with the screwdriver. See that's
how masculine you are. But it wasn't easy and it
took way longer than it should have. All right, that's
how That's how he rolls. I actually have a few
things I've picked up over the years. I wish I
had a chainsaw though, that to me, that's the most
masculine psycho No, no, no, I would love because you
(33:30):
know expensive it is to have a tree removed. It's
like a thousand dollars. And I'm like, I can go
to home Depot or Lows and rent a chainsaw for
a day. And I I'm not that I'm Jack the
Ripper or anything like that, but I can cut down
a tree with a chainsaw, or at least most of
(33:51):
the tree. I think I'd be fine at that. So
that's that's quite the racket, Danny, Quite the racket. Man,
oh man, all right, let's see here. What do we
have time for a few more. Caleb from Meadville rights in,
let's see here. I got mail, yea, I got mail yea.
(34:12):
Not that exciting comp down, he says, Big Ben. The
interview with Scott Farrell last weekend was has only been
invested by your interview with Lenny Dikest. Well, we could
get you know, we should get dike Stra on again.
He'll come on. He's a friend of the podcast. Eddie's
afraid of Dikest. He's afraid of Lenny Dikester. It's true.
It's weird. It's like, you're not gonna be in the
(34:33):
same room with Lenny anyway. Thinks Lenny is so diseased
he might get the cooties or something. Anyway. Uh, the
interview with Scott Farrel last week was only be invested
by the interview with Lenny Dikester. I was glued to
my radio with both of those guys. Please tell me,
do you have any more guests lined up that have
are just as outlandish as low as game. Well, Danny,
(34:57):
you're you're the you're the book. I work with you
on that, and we're trying to get if you want
to recommend someone along those lines, and he can get
some of these guys who are just a holes and
won't come on the podcast, but others are big fans
of the show or whatever. We are willing to do it.
So yeah, anybody's reasonable, we'd love to get on. Yeah.
And I think one thing I found out recently. We
(35:19):
talked about this on last weekend's podcast when we went
over the Curse Words podcast is becoming one of those words.
So recently I've been leaving that p word out of
my emails and text messages. So it's it's gonna be interesting.
You know, It's not easy to book guests, especially when
it's a you know, a thirty minute hit, because these
(35:41):
guys will go on some shows for ten minutes, and
that's all they want to give you. It's not easy
to get somebody for a half hour. Yeah, and so
as some of the guys we've had on have just
after a few minutes just decided they don't want to
do it anymore. In the middle, they abruptly stop the
interview and you're like, whoa wait a minute here, what
(36:03):
the hell just happened? And then you're you scrambled. Travis
and Rosberg also said, was your most recent Vegas trip
a reaction to interviewing Scott Farrell? Pure pressure? It can
be a bit. Uh well, no, I wasn't laying on
my bed in Vegas, uh, pouring money on top of
my head. And and that trip had already been playned
(36:24):
before we had a chance to have Scott Farrell on.
So was it like four play for you? Though? Uh?
It didn't hurt. It kind of fired me up. I'm
not gonna lie it fired me up. I was like, Wow,
this is gonna be fun. Uh, let's see branded from
House is on on your Monday show. You have the
incidive ice line, And I'm just curious why the last
(36:45):
caller is always called number five? He says, So that's
actually you're mixing up the bits, Brandon, you're mixing up
the bits. That's not the The incidive ice line is
where people just call up and scream ridiculous things. Uh,
you're talking about the game we play the next night,
which is where we play a sound bite site the
(37:05):
bite it's called you have to figure out who the
person the reason we did the fifth callers because that's
the second clue, and it always seemed to be Justin
and Cincinnati, so and I would always give you a
mathematical reason why I was going with collar five. Yes. Yeah,
Roberto came on the show and he didn't know the show.
(37:27):
The first night he said, Lebron James. So that's the
inside joke. You will still hear Lebron James sometimes as
Roberto's answer, Yeah exactly. Terry from England says, have you
ever had a monologue star or a star's agent come
after you at work where the boss had to have
(37:50):
your back? Says Terry in England, Yes, yes, Terry doesn't
happen very often, but I have been confronted via when
I went the website, I got a lot of trouble
with the website. I got a cease and desist letters
and all that. It was a big paint and it
took is on the radio show. I have been in
trouble with the the commissioner's office at one of the
(38:13):
major sports leagues for something that I said. That was
awkward getting in trouble with the commissioner's office. And I've
I've had people coaches that have complained and things like that.
So it doesn't happen that often, but it has happened,
and it's it's always really a badge of honor, Danny,
if somebody gets that upset by an opinion that they
(38:36):
feel the need to contact your boss and complain and
rant and rave, I mean, what are we doing? So
but that has happened, and uh, I think that's all
we have time for. So Sarah in Minnesota, who's actually
in Florida, she had a great point about MLB, know,
(38:56):
sports teams in general, the value of sports teams. Uh,
and she I think she says, she became a snowbird.
She's with her friends, but she listens. When the friends
go to go away, she'll listen to the podcast. So
thank you back Big Gregg in Iowa, Reverend Green in Colorado, Springs,
Slash de Moine and j Bone in Portland, Maine and
everyone else. We didn't have time to uh to to
(39:20):
have your question, but thank you all. And if you
missed out on this mailbag, don't forget. Every Tuesday we
post on the facebook page we solicit your questions and
you can do that. Ben Mallers Show is the Facebook
page and also always available if you want to just
email in a question at any time. You can do that.
Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com. R E A
(39:42):
L F I F T h our at gmail dot com.
Anything to promote Danny, any gigs coming up? I will
be live at a roller skating rink to Martin. Now
I'm kidding. I'll be on the network. I'll be on
the network all Sunday, Coveno and Rich and and of
course we got Plank and Spaniard your boy Arnie after
(40:03):
that should be a fun I know, Steve Kurd did
you know? That should be a fun day on FSR.
And thank you to everybody for the nice reviews and
just the overall love on the podcast. It's been a
lot of fun. It has been great. Keep the keep
them coming, man, man, no, keep them coming? Is the
(40:24):
two stars. Give it two stars, a five stars, five star.
Dost be rude. That's five stars, Danny. That's right now,
there's no danger. The podcast is now put anyway, Cameo
dot com. Cameo dot com will catch you next time.
Thank you, thank you, Thank later. Skater. We've all felt
(40:50):
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(41:14):
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Visit adopt us Kids dot org slash podcast, or subscribe
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(41:36):
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us dot org. Brought to you by the AD Council. Mama,
what does the chicken say? Draft draffe? Giraffe, giraffe. You're
not gonna get it all right. Just make sure you
(01:01):
know the big stuff, like making sure your kids are
buckled correctly in the right seat for their agent's eyes.
Get it right visits n h s A dot gov.
Slash the Right Seat brought to you by the National
Highway Traffic Safety Administration. In the AD council boom. If
you thought four hours a day, dred minutes a week
was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of the
(01:25):
old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill
poppers in the penthouse the clearing House of hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere as we
(01:48):
are back at it on a Sunday Sunday edition of
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g You
provide you with all of your male bagnids, Danny, as
we gave the Mallard travelogue on Saturday, and you told
an amazing story about the beauty of children, the innocence
(02:11):
of children, and how you don't mess with their string cheese. Yeah,
and you told an amazing story about how you should
not parlay UFC bets no, no round robin parlay. And
I felt like such a schmuck. I said, what are
you doing? That's a clump pussy right there. But anyway
you can hear that on the Saturday podcast. We got
(02:33):
a lot of mail. We have limited time, Danny ge,
so I think we should get to that right now.
And the answer the people's questions. These are all questions
sent in by actual listeners of the show, real human beings,
real human beings that have sent their messages in. But
before we get the party started, we must have the
proper open to the festivities. All right. Thank you to
(03:05):
ohio Al for that little ditty. We appreciate that, and
we thank you all for sending questions in. And the
first one comes from Rick from San Ramon. He says,
last week's podcast February was the most entertaining since Danny
g came back. You guys had me laughing my butt off.
(03:26):
Thank you Danny for digging up the hot Carrelson drop.
Still funny as hell. Also, to add to your bleep conversation,
I used to listen to Howard Stern every morning when
he was on commercial radio back in the midnighties. Part
of the reason I thought his show was so funny
was the bleeping out of the curse words. Now that
(03:48):
he's on satellite radio, it's not as funny anyway. Thanks
for continuing to entertain. You make my Sunday night walks
much more enjoyable, says Rick, from San Ramons, So thank you.
And so we talked about cursing on the on the
podcast and you know this, that and the other thing.
And it took me a ship ton of time last
(04:13):
week in posts production to get that many fucking bleeps
into the podcast. Listen, you are such a motherfucker you
piece of ship is what you are, all right, motherfucker exactly.
But we will keep it up any And I agree
with Rick because I think we're probably around the same age.
The the art of saying bad things without actually saying
(04:34):
bad things is a skill and there's something impressive about that.
A blind Scott from the North end of Boston right
and says, Hey, can you do me a favor on
the mailbag? Uh? He says, please? Uh can you tell
the story about Henry Hill and how he was trying
to break into the radio station? He says, I used
to listen to him on the Howard Stern Show back
in the day, and uh, the dude from Good Fellas.
(04:57):
He says, I'm sure a lot of listeners would like
to know the story. Uh. I yeah, I can tell
that story, blind Scott real quick. I can't give the
full version. But years ago Greg Bergman was my producer
at Fox Sports Radio and I was doing the the
Ben Mallor Show. This probably goes back oh Man fourteen
fifteen years something along those lines, a long time ago.
And so in those days, I before the show, I
(05:20):
was doing the overnight show, and I had to go
out of the studio and I call into the local
affiliate in l a AM five seventy the late great
Joe McDonald was hosting a nighttime show, and so I
would do cross talk with him, where I promote my
show and talk to him about whatever is going on.
So I would walk out of the radio station out
on There's a side door and I would walk out
(05:42):
and kind of walk down right on the corner of
So Paulvida Inventura, and that's where I would just talk.
You know, it was nighttime, there's nobody around. But on
this night it was during the summer, and I walked
out before the show and I walked by this guy
that was kind of disheveled, looked a little with a
lot of sorts and uh, he said, are you on
(06:03):
the radio? And uh? And I said, as I remember,
I said no, no, I'm not on the ray. I
kept walking even though I was walking out of radio station.
So I walked out of the radio station. I went down,
I did my my business. I walked back. The guy
is still there. Now he's close to the door and
he's uh. He's you're you were just here. You lied
(06:25):
to me or something like that. You're on the radio
and uh. And then and like uh no, and I'm
not on the on the radio. And he says, I'm
Henry fucking Hill, and I want to get on the radio.
I have a story to tell and I want to
get on the radio. He's cursing every other word, you know, funk,
this ship, that, all this stuff. So I'm looking at
this guy. I'm like, man, oh man, this guy's nuts.
(06:47):
He thinks he's Henry Hill, the guy from Goodfellas. So
I was able to get past the door. Now the
guy gets piste because he saw me get in the studio.
I used my card key to get in. Now he
sees me in, so now I closed it are quickly
and he starts banging with both fists on the door.
He's hammering the door. And I told Bergman, my lightweight
(07:09):
producer at the time, Burgie, I said, take care of this,
you know, take care of this, don't make sure he
doesn't get in here. And I walked away right I
walked into the other studio and we were talking about
a show and my favorite movie of all time as
Good Fellows. I love the I love the movie. It's
my my favorite mob movie. We talked about one of
the guys that you should you should check the go
(07:31):
on Google see if it's it's act. Maybe it's actually him.
And I went on Google images. It was Henry Hill,
a man that had killed people. Gotta murder, I gotta
go in the mob Henry Hill, and I walked right
by him, like it was so crazy, Danny. I guess
he had been in the witness protection program but they
(07:53):
had gotten him. He was living in Sherman Oaks, which
is where Fox Sports radio studios are located, moving to Burbank,
but it's still to this day that is probably the
craziest thing that's ever happened to me in that building.
It's wild. He pissed him off. You're lucky he didn't
whack you. Well, he was so hammered. I don't think
he I don't think he knew what which way was
(08:15):
up and down at that point. But still you see somebody.
I'm Henry Hill you oh yeah, sure you are. And
I'm Santa Clause you know it. But yeah, anyway, Jared
from Parts Unknown rights and he says, given your love
of words, origins and all not mentioned, not to mention
your vocabulary being larger than all the other radios. Woll,
(08:36):
that's nice sucking up from you, Jared, thank you. What
are your favorite words, Danny? Do you have any as well?
He says, endeavor, cool sounding, easy to use, Sue sayer,
plucky are his favorites. That's from Jared. Yeah, so I
have a sliding schaggle. First, I have a sliding scale.
I like the word hornswoggle. That's a fun word. I
(08:58):
like words that are fun to say that kind of
make you smile. Your prony is a good word, mama, luke,
gobbled the gook, uh. Those are all words that are
pretty good. And I like learning new new phrases. And
I've often said that all we have is words, right,
Danny were spoken word radio. So it's we're pretty much
(09:19):
saying the same thing. I give the same rant all
the time. But the only thing that can make us
stand out a little bit is to change the words.
I mean, we're we're talking about Aaron Rodgers five days
a week. There's only so many. You gotta change it up,
you know, you gotta mix in a little a little spice.
What are some words that you love, Danny. The first
ones that come to mind, bamboozled, it's a good one.
(09:39):
How about effervescent. Effervescent is a big word. Yeah, these
are probably the only big words I know. Um. I mean,
I like when you put a couple of the same
letters together, like in the nineties. You know, we were
kids of the nineties and we would always say funky fresh,
(09:59):
Sure some good back to backwards, funky fresh for the nineties. Well,
you're talking about a literation. So I love Brian Wheeler,
who used to be the voice of the Trailblazers and
be amazing, astonishing, you know, astounding, you know that kind
of difficult, demanding, daunting, boom shaka la ka la ka
a right, they are taxed, tormented and tortured, you know. So, yeah,
(10:23):
those are all fun things. And I try to change
it up. I do. There's a few words that I
kind of get caught on that I just keep repeating
because they're in my lexicon, and and I go with it. So,
but there's there's a lot of different words out there
that we have endless amounts of words. So thank you
for that. Jared Mike from Fullerton writes in on the
(10:45):
mail bag, he says, uh oh, I didn't play the
that's a bad job by me. Hold on, excuse me.
Mike from Fullerton says, hey, Ben after hitting it out
of the park as a guest host on daytime Radio,
what TV show pastor present? Would you like to be
a guest host on? Danny? G you two? So? Any
of the Steve Harvey properties feud would be a lot
(11:06):
of fun. I knew you were going to say. Family. Yeah, my,
I think Family it's a great show. I love that show.
That would be really good. I think I could have
some fun with that. I used to watch when I
was a kid. A ditch school. Prices Right, that's still on.
I'll have a different host, so Prices Right would be good.
Any of those game shows I think would be cool
(11:28):
to do. What about you, Danny, what's if you could
fill in on a TV show pastor present? According to Mike,
which one would you pick? Well? In honor of Timderni tips,
I'd have to say I would love to fill in
for Chuck Woolery. Oh yeah, love connecting back and be
back in two and two. Yes, love can or you
could be on what's a radio show? But love Line? Yeah,
(11:49):
the love Line when you were younger, and who was
your favorite? Now? Dr Drew was on love Line for forever.
Drew was good. Adam Corolla that show he was, but
they had Striker was the co host and the poor
Man Who's uh, we should get him on the pod
because is he still around? The poor Man I'm not
(12:10):
sure he'd have to be really old, but maybe we
can track him down. Poor Man's inn l a radio
guy like the rock and roll version of Vic the Brick.
Who's the sports you know, the sports guy? And and
he was the original host of Love Line. He sued
and there was a bunch of stuff that got on.
But that would be that too. And then one last one,
I would say in It's hey day when Vanah White
(12:32):
was super hot, because that show. How many years has
Wheel of Fortune been on? Now? Pat Sajax still looks
exactly the same food. When we were little kids, though,
people wanted to bang Vanah White really bad. And you
imagine being the host of that show oh sure. And
then but she also had the Price Is Right. They
(12:53):
had those showcase showdown girls or whatever they were on
there that was also popular, and I think there were
some scandals with that. Oh yeah, Bob bar was famous
for hooking up with those Prices Right girls. In fact,
he got sued and that was a big deal when
we were kids. He was always in the news for
being sued for sexual arresting. Well, the women were impressed
by that little pencil dick microphone that he had. That
(13:16):
was pretty impressive. But he did all the booking and
I bet he did. Yeah, Jennifer and Richmond Virginia right,
since says, hey, Ben and Danny g Online passwords are
a pain and I keep mind pretty similar to each other. Uh,
and I take I make notes of them. But do
you take the time to come up with unique, clever
(13:37):
passwords for everything? Uh? No, Jennifer, absolutely not. I did
not come up with unique passwords. I hate the work email,
which I don't really check, and I have to reset
it every six months, and you can't use the same
password you've used in the past, and so I'll have
to write that down. I usually forget it and I
have to call one of the bosses and say, hey,
(13:58):
I got locked out of the email, like because like
three or four times a year, maybe not that many times.
There's a couple of times a year. We have to
do training online training, so I have to use my
work email. But other than that, I never look at
it because it's you know, that's the first thing they
get rid of. I learned when they did get rid
of me in oh nine. That's the first thing they
get rid of is your email. So I don't even
bother with it. Uh And and the other thing about
(14:21):
that I know from some people in the cyber world, well,
it seems great to have a really hard password. A
lot of times people who steal passwords will just get
access to the full database, so it doesn't even matter,
you know what I mean. You can have the hardest
password in the world. But if if the people that
you know hacking to the website get all the passwords,
(14:43):
what are you gonna do and have your password? So anyway,
vols fan Jimmy from Fayttville, Tennessee, sis for both you guys.
With gasoline crisis soaring so high, have you considered buying
an electric car? Yeah? I actually had a gas electric
hybrid that was you could go like, you know, eighty
miles on the on the electric or something like that.
(15:06):
I had to get rid of that car was a Lemon.
So we had to return that car. The Mallard Moobile
was a Lemon. I remember that. Now you would be
paying more attention to this if you were driving to
the studio every day like back in the day. Yeah. Well,
my wife drives a lot to work. She's got along,
so you guys still have to budget a lot of gas. Yeah, yeah,
(15:27):
she's you know, it's it's a it's a marathon. It's
a lot of time in traffic. And well, speaking of gas,
when I was in Vegas, you want to talk about
price gouging. So I went to the Costco in Vegas.
Always that's why I go. I'm a Costco, love Costco.
So gas was really cheap at Costco in Vegas. It
was like three dollars and fifty nine cents or something
like that. Kirkland brand Gas brand gas, the best kind
(15:50):
of gas. It is. It is the don't play the
buzzer wrong. It's not wrong. Okay, it's a really good
brand of gas. Anyway, So I got the gas and
and then I'm driving out and then we get to
Prim where I went into the ghost town. Told the
story about the ghost town. So I get the Prim.
Now this is in Nevada, so it's the same tax,
(16:10):
it's the same everything as the Costco in in Vegas.
And it's all the trucks that take the gasoline to
Vegas from l A have to go down that highway,
so it's not like it's out of the way. They
were charging five dollars in like sixty nine cents for
the same gas. Uh, this was not obviously Costco. This
(16:31):
was a name brand price gouging gas station, but over
two dollars more a gallon. And they were totally taking
advantage of the whole Russia invading the Ukraine thing, that
old deal. And yeah, it's another form of COVID blaming.
You could just blame any increase on COVID or now
(16:53):
the war. And also so yeah, supply chain issues because
of COVID and all all of that. I got mail,
I got mail, yea, because of trucking. It's because of ships.
Screw you pay me. And we're live here outside the
Perez family home just waiting for the and there they go,
(17:15):
almost on time. This morning. Mom is coming out the
front door, strong with a double arm kid carry. Looks
like dad has the bags. Daughter is bringing up the rear.
Oh but the diaper bag wasn't closed. Diapers and toys
are everywhere. Oh but mom has just nailed the perfect
car seat buckle for the toddler. And now the eldest daughter,
(17:37):
who looks to be about nine or ten, has secured
herself in the booster seat. Dad zips the bag closed
and they're off. Ah, but looks like Mom doesn't realize
her coffee cup is still on the roof of the
car and there it goes. Ah. That's a shame that
mug was a fan favorite. Don't sweat the small stuff,
just nail the big stuff, like making sure your kids
(17:58):
are buckled correctly in the right seat for their agents size.
Learn more n h t s A dot gov slash
the Right Seat visits n h s A dot gov
slash the Right Seat, brought to you by NITZA and
the ad Council. Adoption of teams from foster care is
a topic not enough people know about, and we're here
to change that. I'm April Denuit, the host of the
new podcast Navigating Adoption presented by adopt us Kids. Each
(18:21):
episode brings you compelling, real life adoption stories told by
the families that lived them, with commentary from experts. Visit
adopt us Kids dot org, slash podcast, or subscribe to
Navigating Adoption presented by adopt Us Kids, brought to you
by the U S Department of Health and Human Services,
Administration for Children and Families, and the AD Council. What
grows in the forest trees? Sure you know what else
(18:44):
grows in the forest, our imagination, a sense of one day,
and our family bonds grow too, because when we disconnect
from this and connect with this, we reconnect with each other.
The forest is closer than you think. Find a forest
near you and start exploring. I Discover the Forest dot org,
(19:06):
brought to you by the United States Forest Service and
the AD Council. Yeah, this, that or the other thing.
Did you see Burger King? I think I read online
Burger King. They're not going to lower the price of
the chicken nuggets, but instead of giving you ten, they're
gonna give you eight. I don't want to eat any
(19:26):
of those. Well, I hear you, but I'm just saying,
like it's do they realize that that is inflation. You're
paying the same and getting less that that they're making
it seem like, well, we're not going to raise our prices. Well,
but but you're giving people less for the same amount,
so they're paying more for less. Burger King, I have
an idea for you make your shitty fries taste better.
(19:50):
My my, my, one of my grandfather loved, loved uh.
He loved going and enjoying Burger King. And I was
never a big burg drinking fan. Burger King was good
when we were kids. My mom would hold that out
when we would go to church on Sunday. That was
her bride. Do you guys are good and you make
(20:11):
it through the song and you make it through prayer
without laughing and causing a scene. I will take you
to get a hamburger at Burger King. The ingredients were quality.
I know that they went through an ownership change and
their ingredients have went down the toilet. Do they still
have the long I haven't even Burger King in a
long time, but they still have the long chicken sandwich.
(20:33):
I think so the oldest chicken sandwich out there as
far as a fast food restaurant. Burger King's got to
be up there. Yeah, and that's been trumped by I mean,
everyone's got a fast food sandwich, right, it's just bait
taste like anyway, all right, I don't know who we
answered Jimmy's question, though, I I would be open to
(20:56):
get an electric car, especially now I'm not driving as much.
But I'm really concerned about the mileage because they don't
get a lot of miles. So I go out, like
go on road trips, and I think it would be
a pain in the ask to have to stop for
an hour to charge the car every two d miles
or something like that. Yeah, and I'm an old school guy.
I've always liked fast cars, and I've been driving a
(21:18):
stick shift the past four years. So give me some
open road and some gasoline. Baby burn baby burns. Pierre
and Springfield Masses uses some of the Pro Basketball Hall
of Fame where you can see Muffett McGraw and trying.
He says, Ben, what was your total windfall from the
Vegas Sports book last weekend? And he says number two?
(21:40):
Since you won't answer number one, he Pierre knows me. Yeah,
for financial reasons, I never reveal how much I win
or lose. For that matter. But if you, of course,
if you win too much, I think, what is it?
Twenty five hundred is that the number? If you get
over one wind, they hand you a paper for taxes.
(22:01):
I know with DraftKings, if you win over six hundred
dollars you have to claim it. Always it over six
hundred draft kings. I didn't realize that, but I know
in Vegas at the casinos, if you if you went
over a certain amount, I think it's maybe it's lower now,
So you want to win about a thousand each time
and go back to your room and then come back
and win another thousand, because then you can avoid having
(22:23):
you know, not not that you should avoid paying taxes, Danny,
I'm not saying that at all, But if you chose
to try to avoid paying the taxes, yeah, you could
conceivably do that, right, Yeah, I mean there's ways around that.
So uh, and just tell the government that you really
needed all of that money because of the war. Anyways,
(22:47):
it says, do you do you see yourself pulling a
Musburger and moving to Vegas to do a gambling show
and living out your days as a whale at the casino? Yeah? Well,
I know it's not my Oh, I'm in a partnership.
I'm in a marriage, so it's not totally my call.
But I could. I could live in Vegas. I think
I would. I do pretty well there. He just called
(23:08):
you a whale. I resembled that comment. So yes, I
resembled that comment absolutely. All right, let's see who is
next year? Any meany mighty mode? Gary a big shot
in the donut business. Rights. He says, I listen on
I Heart Radio and can't seem to find where to
(23:30):
review this program. I have been listening for a couple
of years now, and I says, the monologues are spot on,
your syndicated or cynical. I think you mean cynical. Cynical
mind is one of a kind. I listen every night,
or listen to download shows until you are alive. Keep
it up. The fifth Hour has been better with Danny g.
(23:52):
The staff is awesome, the militia is something else. Thanks
for keeping me tired all day. That is. I don't
know if he wants me to. I don't know that
I need to say where he works, but he's at
a very famous donut chain. He's in management, Danny, and
they're very famous in Boston. And they might love Tim Duncan.
(24:14):
They might be fans of Tim Duncan the basketball player. Yeah,
and I might drink their coffee sometimes. I hear you,
I hear you. Yeah. I went into one of those
places and I asked for a cinnamon roll and they
looked at me like I was insane. They said, what
is that? I guess in certain parts of the country
they call that a coffee roll. I think the lady
(24:35):
looked at me crazy because she's like, don't we don't
have donut hose? And I'm like, donut hose, no hose,
what's wrong with you? Come on like I'm not for sale? Yeah? Uh,
let's see who is next year? Come back, pay attention.
It's time from now. Thank you, Gary. That was a
(24:56):
very nice review. I'll send you a link. Maybe our
already have sent you a link, and you can write
your own review. Nick in was I think you just
did though. Just copy and paste that. Nick and Wisconsin
says Benn and Danny if it were old school WWF
slash w W Who told you? We told you you
(25:18):
want to take your tag team partner says that you
got to pick a tag team partner. Danny between st
Tammy and Montana and judgmental Helen. So these are the
two feuding women. Who do you want to go first? Danny,
who would you pick? I don't know Helen enough to
know if she would be a good partner in the ring.
(25:39):
I obviously I am more familiar with Tammy because she
was on the show back when I was part of
your live radio show. Helen, I only know from the podcast.
But boy, based on their back and forth, it sounds
like Tammy might gouge some eyes out. Yeah. Well, Tammy
is the the sweet woman who's got like an unbelievable rage,
(26:04):
like a mama bear. Yeah, like a mom exactly, like
a mama bear. Ask any park ranger, what is the
most dangerous situation to be in? Getting near a baby?
Come and you're dead meat? So I would say Dammy
for that reason. Yeah, all right, So you take Tammy
and I'll take Helen. Because Helen, you know, she's from
New York, so she's got a little great tour and uh,
(26:27):
you know, probably always kind of going around a little
cynical and all that stuff, and uh and she doesn't
even pretend to be nice. She's just that's all she
I mean, just attack attack, attack, attack, So we gotta
set that up, a steel cage deathmatch. Let's get it on,
get along, bring it on, bring it on in one corner.
(26:51):
All right. See Helen doesn't call the radio show. If
she called the radio show, I could make that happen
on the live radio show. I guess it's possible we
could do it on the podcast to though I'm not
sure how the logistics of all that would work. I
think I would have to buy some more equipment to do.
Maybe another phone. You only take one call at a
time where I am right now? Yeah, all right, Uh,
(27:15):
let's see we have Carlos in Houston. He says, little
word of advice for everyone who is listening, don't listen
to last week's podcast. We're working out so hilarious. I
just want to know how do I get on the
Mallard payroll. I know Chris and Houston moved on to
the day shift, and you need a Houston caller. Yeah,
(27:37):
we had that guy that called for a while from
the factory who was just really bored, and then I
ripped him and then he got upset and became feisty
and he stopped calling. So yeah, I think we're deficient
in Houston College. We've always had a couple of callers
from Houston, but right now we're a little short there.
It's weird because you always speak so highly of their
(27:57):
professional teams. Well, I am a kind as you know, Danny.
I speak the truth and many people can't handle the truth,
and so I have to explain these things. And h
that's right, absolutely correct on that anyway, he says, uh
with Hughes Chris moving on to the day ship, he says,
you need a Houston caller also, Danny, we need that
(28:19):
drop that says that is a complete load of crap,
and maybe you'll also be able to find it. He says,
so a drop request for you, a complete load of crap.
Carlos also said I just want to say, fuck Rob Manford.
I missed baseball because it was the only thing to
look forward to since the Rockets and Texans suck ass
uh so, so says Carlos. Well, okay, thank you for that, Carlos.
(28:43):
I second that, man, and I know you got to
talk to John Morossy on Friday. It's funny because a
few days ago my queen Sinderoni asked me, so does
this mean baseball is not going to start on time.
And I said, that's exactly what it means. And she said,
look those guys, she's that's her favorite sports. She wants
(29:04):
Dodgers back, she wants baseball back. And I think she
spoke for the whole country when she said funk all
those guys. Yeah, no, I agree with the Queen Tinderoni
there and these players and the owners are quiet, quiet
and trying to get everyone in else they all are
using the fan as a as a prop, as a
(29:24):
pond in this, and their fans caught in the crossfire.
The players don't give a shit about the fans. The
owners don't give a shit about the fans. That's the reality.
If they did, they'd all take less money and lower
the price of tickets and lower the price of cable
television how much they get from television. They lower the
price of beer, hot dogs and all that. If they
(29:46):
ultimately really cared about the fan, the stuff would not
be as expensive it is as it is to go
to a game. So when they say we when they
say we care about the fans, all fake news. It
didn't happen, damn right, Well, and that did happen. They
did say it. But yeah, Bed last season, we had
to fly to Colorado to see our Dodgers in order
(30:07):
to get reasonable ticket prices. Nachos that were eight dollars.
Eight dollars. You know what eight dollars gets you at
Dodgers Stadium. Yeah, you get some catchup packets is what
you get. If you're lucky, you get a side of
ranch for eight dollars at Dodgers Stadium. Oh yeah, that's
another thing that's changed in our life. When I was
a kid, the Dodgers, owned by the O'Malley family, used
(30:29):
to brag they were the greatest deal in town. And
they were. They didn't have a lot of options, didn't
have a lot of options at the concession stand, but
everything was cheap. And I remember when when I started
going out there a lot in the media. O'Malley still
on the team. There were no advertising side. That thing
was pure. And now it is like a bathroom stall
(30:53):
in Jersey with all the writing on it and all
that stuff. It's uh pretty, I mean, I get it.
I would probably do the same thing if I own
the Dodges, But it's just changed so much in my lifetime.
It's pretty wild. What grows in the forest trees. Sure
you know what else grows in the forest. Our imagination,
(31:13):
our sense of wonder, and our family bonds grow too,
because when we disconnect from this and connect with this,
we reconnect with each other. The forest is closer than
you think. Find a forest near you and start exploring.
I Discover the Forest dot org brought to you by
the United States Forest Service and the AD Council. Look
(31:37):
for your children's eyes to see the true magic of
a forest. It's a storybook world for them. You look
and see a tree. They see the wrinkled face of
a wizard with arms outstretched to the sky. They see
treasuring pebbles. They see a windy path that could lead
to adventure, and they see you. They're fearless guide. Is
(31:57):
this fascinating world? Find a forest near you and start
exploring and discover the forest dot org brought to you
by the United States Forest Service and the AD Council.
If I could be you and you could be me
for just one hour, if you could find a way
to get inside each other's mind, walk a mile in
my shoes, wacome mile in my shoes shoes. We've all
(32:21):
felt left out, and for some that feeling lasts more
than a moment. We can change that. Learn how it
belonging begins with us dot org. Brought to you by
the AD Council. Welcome out in the shoes. Let's see
who is next year. You've got mail. Ozzy Momentum says
two questions. Danny, you seem like a masculine, do it
(32:44):
yourself type of guy. Ben Uso, what's you? How dare you?
What's your go to power tool at home? If you
have any? I do have to toolboxes, but but no
power tools to speak of. I've always had to borrow.
I don't need them that often to invest into having
my own. The last couple of things I put together
(33:06):
furniture wise, where they called for a power drill, I
just did it by hand with the screwdriver. See that's
how masculine you are. But it wasn't easy and it
took way longer than it should have. All right, that's
how That's how he rolls. I actually have a few
things I've picked up over the years. I wish I
had a chainsaw though, that to me, that's the most
masculine psycho No, no, no, I would love because you
(33:30):
know expensive it is to have a tree removed. It's
like a thousand dollars. And I'm like, I can go
to home Depot or Lows and rent a chainsaw for
a day. And I I'm not that I'm Jack the
Ripper or anything like that, but I can cut down
a tree with a chainsaw, or at least most of
(33:51):
the tree. I think I'd be fine at that. So
that's that's quite the racket, Danny, Quite the racket. Man,
oh man, all right, let's see here. What do we
have time for a few more. Caleb from Meadville rights in,
let's see here. I got mail, yea, I got mail yea.
(34:12):
Not that exciting comp down, he says, Big Ben. The
interview with Scott Farrell last weekend was has only been
invested by your interview with Lenny Dikest. Well, we could
get you know, we should get dike Stra on again.
He'll come on. He's a friend of the podcast. Eddie's
afraid of Dikest. He's afraid of Lenny Dikester. It's true.
It's weird. It's like, you're not gonna be in the
(34:33):
same room with Lenny anyway. Thinks Lenny is so diseased
he might get the cooties or something. Anyway. Uh, the
interview with Scott Farrel last week was only be invested
by the interview with Lenny Dikester. I was glued to
my radio with both of those guys. Please tell me,
do you have any more guests lined up that have
are just as outlandish as low as game. Well, Danny,
(34:57):
you're you're the you're the book. I work with you
on that, and we're trying to get if you want
to recommend someone along those lines, and he can get
some of these guys who are just a holes and
won't come on the podcast, but others are big fans
of the show or whatever. We are willing to do it.
So yeah, anybody's reasonable, we'd love to get on. Yeah.
And I think one thing I found out recently. We
(35:19):
talked about this on last weekend's podcast when we went
over the Curse Words podcast is becoming one of those words.
So recently I've been leaving that p word out of
my emails and text messages. So it's it's gonna be interesting.
You know, It's not easy to book guests, especially when
it's a you know, a thirty minute hit, because these
(35:41):
guys will go on some shows for ten minutes, and
that's all they want to give you. It's not easy
to get somebody for a half hour. Yeah, and so
as some of the guys we've had on have just
after a few minutes just decided they don't want to
do it anymore. In the middle, they abruptly stop the
interview and you're like, whoa wait a minute here, what
(36:03):
the hell just happened? And then you're you scrambled. Travis
and Rosberg also said, was your most recent Vegas trip
a reaction to interviewing Scott Farrell? Pure pressure? It can
be a bit. Uh well, no, I wasn't laying on
my bed in Vegas, uh, pouring money on top of
my head. And and that trip had already been playned
(36:24):
before we had a chance to have Scott Farrell on.
So was it like four play for you? Though? Uh?
It didn't hurt. It kind of fired me up. I'm
not gonna lie it fired me up. I was like, Wow,
this is gonna be fun. Uh, let's see branded from
House is on on your Monday show. You have the
incidive ice line, And I'm just curious why the last
(36:45):
caller is always called number five? He says, So that's
actually you're mixing up the bits, Brandon, you're mixing up
the bits. That's not the The incidive ice line is
where people just call up and scream ridiculous things. Uh,
you're talking about the game we play the next night,
which is where we play a sound bite site the
(37:05):
bite it's called you have to figure out who the
person the reason we did the fifth callers because that's
the second clue, and it always seemed to be Justin
and Cincinnati, so and I would always give you a
mathematical reason why I was going with collar five. Yes. Yeah,
Roberto came on the show and he didn't know the show.
(37:27):
The first night he said, Lebron James. So that's the
inside joke. You will still hear Lebron James sometimes as
Roberto's answer, Yeah exactly. Terry from England says, have you
ever had a monologue star or a star's agent come
after you at work where the boss had to have
(37:50):
your back? Says Terry in England, Yes, yes, Terry doesn't
happen very often, but I have been confronted via when
I went the website, I got a lot of trouble
with the website. I got a cease and desist letters
and all that. It was a big paint and it
took is on the radio show. I have been in
trouble with the the commissioner's office at one of the
(38:13):
major sports leagues for something that I said. That was
awkward getting in trouble with the commissioner's office. And I've
I've had people coaches that have complained and things like that.
So it doesn't happen that often, but it has happened,
and it's it's always really a badge of honor, Danny,
if somebody gets that upset by an opinion that they
(38:36):
feel the need to contact your boss and complain and
rant and rave, I mean, what are we doing? So
but that has happened, and uh, I think that's all
we have time for. So Sarah in Minnesota, who's actually
in Florida, she had a great point about MLB, know,
(38:56):
sports teams in general, the value of sports teams. Uh,
and she I think she says, she became a snowbird.
She's with her friends, but she listens. When the friends
go to go away, she'll listen to the podcast. So
thank you back Big Gregg in Iowa, Reverend Green in Colorado, Springs,
Slash de Moine and j Bone in Portland, Maine and
everyone else. We didn't have time to uh to to
(39:20):
have your question, but thank you all. And if you
missed out on this mailbag, don't forget. Every Tuesday we
post on the facebook page we solicit your questions and
you can do that. Ben Mallers Show is the Facebook
page and also always available if you want to just
email in a question at any time. You can do that.
Real Fifth Hour at gmail dot com. R E A
(39:42):
L F I F T h our at gmail dot com.
Anything to promote Danny, any gigs coming up? I will
be live at a roller skating rink to Martin. Now
I'm kidding. I'll be on the network. I'll be on
the network all Sunday, Coveno and Rich and and of
course we got Plank and Spaniard your boy Arnie after
(40:03):
that should be a fun I know, Steve Kurd did
you know? That should be a fun day on FSR.
And thank you to everybody for the nice reviews and
just the overall love on the podcast. It's been a
lot of fun. It has been great. Keep the keep
them coming, man, man, no, keep them coming? Is the
(40:24):
two stars. Give it two stars, a five stars, five star.
Dost be rude. That's five stars, Danny. That's right now,
there's no danger. The podcast is now put anyway, Cameo
dot com. Cameo dot com will catch you next time.
Thank you, thank you, Thank later. Skater. We've all felt
(40:50):
left out, and for people who moved to this country,
that feeling lasts more than a moment. We can change that.
Learn how it Belonging begins with us dot org. Brought
to you by the ad Council. Adoption of teams from
foster care is a topic not enough people know about,
and we're here to change that. I'm April Dinnuity, host
of the new podcast Navigating Adoption, presented by adopt us Kids.
(41:14):
Each episode brings you compelling, real life adoption stories told
by the families that lived them, with commentary from experts.
Visit adopt us Kids dot org slash podcast, or subscribe
to Navigating Adoption presented by adopt us Kids, brought to
you by the U. S Department of Health, the Human
Services Administration for Children and Families, and the AD Council. Mama,
(41:36):
What does the Chicken say? What the draft giraffe really giraffe, giraffe,
you're not gonna get it all right. Just make sure
you know the big stuff, like making sure your kids
are buckled correctly in the right seat for their agent's eyes.
Get it Right visits n h S. A dot gov
(41:58):
slash the right Seat brought to about the National Highway
Traffic Safety Administration and the AD Council
Fox Sports Radio News
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