Jack Tame: All it took was an angle grinder, confidence and a high-vis vest

If you’re anything like me, the moment you saw the World’s most famous art gallery had been robbed of the French Crown Jewels... one thing came to mind.  

It’s silly really, because at the end of the day it’s a crime. A serious crime. Nevertheless, it’s hard to totally ignore the audacity and romance of it all.  

What’s the difference between a robbery and a heist? Whatever it is that distinguishes those words... there is something seductive.   

We were told the thieves were organised, efficient, and used specialist equipment. I imagined a Tom Cruise-like figure firing a grappling hook out of a special gun, repelling from the ceiling and acrobatically navigating a room of invisible lasers, any of which if broken, would immediately trigger an alarm and a carbon dioxide pump that would starve the room of oxygen and suffocate the thieves where they stood. 

Alas, as more detail has emerged over the last two weeks, it’s become clear the Louvre Heist was less Mission Impossible and more Mission-to-Mitre-10.   

The specialist equipment the thieves used? It was a plain old over-the-counter angle grinder like the second-hand Makita I have in my tools cupboard at home. I’d never thought about it before, but the problem with publicly displaying crown jewels worth tens or hundreds of millions of dollars, is that security in the display cases can only go so far. As well as being hard to access for potential thieves, in the event of a fire, the cases need to be openable in a few seconds. So they need to be super-secure. But also super-accessible.  What could go wrong? 

What the thieves seemed to have worked out is that using an axe or a hammer was a bad idea. It would have potentially taken hundreds of blows to break through and get the goods. But the museum’s own firefighting handbook lays out the best course of action for quickly getting into the Louvre’s secure display cases: you don’t smash, you cut.   

Although they’ve made a series of arrests, lessons abound for the French authorities. It’s shocking they had such poor security camera coverage around the museum. But as more and more detail comes to light, I think there’s a valuable lesson for all of us:  

The disguises. The thieves weren’t in military fatigues. They weren’t dressed in all black. They weren’t wearing crazy masks like the ones in MoneyHeist. They were wearing the universal uniform of authority: high-vis vests. The great irony of a garment designed to be seen is that it has become so ubiquitous, we don’t see it, even when it’s being worn by thieves, in broad daylight, stealing some of the most valuable jewellery in the World.   

The Paris Police, who has street cameras trained on the area where the thieves parked their truck, sheepishly admitted this week that no one paid any attention to the men on the video feed. In their hi-vis vests, they looked like a regular construction crew, said a Police spokesperson. And Paris has heaps of construction.  

It looks increasingly likely the men will not get away with their theft. And though clearly they were organised, this was hardly the perfect crime. They dropped some of the jewels and left heaps of evidence at the scene. They tried to burn the truck but the gas tank wouldn’t catch. The big question now is whether or not the jewels are still intact.   

Still, they have proved something. For the biggest heist at the World’s most-famous museum in more than a hundred years, the biggest heist since the Mona Lisa was pinched way back in 1911, you only need three things:  

A charged battery on your angle grinder. An air of confidence and purpose. And most importantly, a high-vis vest. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:07):
You're listening to the Saturday Morning with Jack Team podcast
from News Talks, a'd be.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
If you're anything like me. The moment you saw that
the world's most famous art gallery had been robbed of
the French Crown jewels, one thing immediately came to mind.
I mean, it's silly, really, because at the end of

(00:35):
the day, it's a crime, right, it is a crime,
and it is a serious crime. Nevertheless, for whatever reason,
it's just hard to totally ignore the audacity and the
romance of it all. After all, what's the difference between
a robbery and a heist? Whatever it is that distinguishes
those words robbery and heist, there is something seductive. We

(01:05):
were told the thieves were organized, right, We were told
that they were efficient. We were told they used specialist equipment.
And I don't know about you, but I kind of
imagined a Tom Cruise like figure firing a grappling hook
out of a special gun, repelling from the ceiling acrobatically
navigating a room of invisible lasers, any of which, if broken,

(01:25):
would immediately trigger an alarm, shut down the windows and exits,
and a carbon dioxide pump that would starve the room
of oxygen. And suffogate the thieves where they stood. Alas,
as more detail has emerged over the last two weeks,
it's become clear the louver heist was less mission impossible
and more mission to might attend that specialist equipment we

(01:49):
were told about that the thieves used. Yeah, it was
a plain old over the counter angle grinder, kind of
like the secondhand makita that I've gotten my tools covered
at home. I've never thought about it before, but the
problem with publicly displaying crowned jewels worth tens or hundreds
of millions of dollars is that security in the display

(02:13):
cases can only go so far. So, as well as
being really hard to open for potential thieves in the
event of the fire, the cases need to be openable
in a few seconds, so they need to be both
super secure but also super accessible. What could possibly go wrong?

(02:35):
What the thieves seemed to have worked out is that
using an axe or a hammer was a bad idea
in the louver that would have potentially taken hundreds of
blows to break through and get the goods. But the
museum's own fire fighting handbook reportedly lays out the best
course of action for anyone quickly wanting to access the

(02:56):
louvers secure display cases. You don't smash, you cunt. Although
they have now made a series of arrests, lesson abound
for the French authorities. It's shocking they had such poor
security camera coverage around the museum. But as more and
more detail comes to light, I reckon there is a

(03:17):
valuable lesson in this for all of us. The disguises
the thieves weren't in military fatigues. They weren't dressed in
all black. They weren't wearing crazy masks like the ones
in Money Heist. They were wearing the universal uniform of authority,

(03:37):
the good old high viz vest. It is a great irony,
isn't it. The great irony is that a garment designed
to be seen has become so ubiquitous we now don't
see it, even when it's being worn by thieves in
broad daylight, stealing some of the most valuable jewelry in
the world. The Paris police, who had street cameras trained

(04:02):
on the area where the thieves parked their truck, sheepishly
admitted this week that no one paid any attention to
the men on the video feed. Why well, in their
Hiver's vests. They just looked like a regular construction crew,
said a police spokesperson in Paris, like most cities, has
heaps of construction. It looks increasingly likely the men will

(04:24):
not get away with their theft, and though clearly they
were organized, this was hardly the perfect crime. They dropped
some of the jewels and left heaps of the evidence
at the scene. They tried to burn the truck, but
the gas tank wouldn't catch. The big question now is
whether or not the jewels are still intact. Still these
thieves have proved one thing for the biggest height, for

(04:48):
the biggest heist at the world's most famous museum in
more than one hundred years, so the biggest heist since
the Mona Lisa was pinched from the Louver way back
in nineteen eleven. You only need three things. Number one,
a charge battery for your angle grinder. Number two, an
ear of confidence and purpose, and number three, most importantly,

(05:14):
a high is vest.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
For more from Saturday Morning with Jack Tame, listen live
to news Talks at b from nine am Saturday, or
follow the podcast on iHeartRadio.