May 1, 2026 • 32 mins
Amy Gerard taps into a moment this episode that will hit home for so many women saying out loud what most mums are thinking but rarely admit. From the pressure of parenting and the mental load to the unspoken realities of relationships, Amy brings honesty, humour and a little bit of chaos.
On this episode of the Chris & Amy Podcast, the conversation dives into modern motherhood, everyday parenting struggles, and the relationship dynamics that quietly build in family life. Amy shares relatable, unfiltered thoughts that will have listeners laughing and nodding along, while Chris adds his usual perspective (for better or worse).
It’s real, funny and incredibly relatable covering mum life, parenting stress, and the kind of conversations that usually stay inside group chats.
⏱️ Chapters
00:00 – Amy Says What No One Else Will
03:40 – The Parenting Pressure Builds
08:25 – The Mental Load Of Mum Life
13:50 – Relationship Real Talk
19:20 – The Story That Sparked Debate
24:55 – Chris Weighs In
30:10 – Final Thoughts & Wrap
🔗 Hosts
Amy Gerard
🌐 www.amygerard.com.au
📸 @amy.gerard
Chris Page
📸 @chris_page83
Executive Producer – Mathew Eggleston
📧 matheweggleston@arn.com.au
📸 @eggoau on Instagram
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I Heart podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hear more kiss podcasts, playlists, and listen live on the
free iHeart app.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Explain those.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Everybody's am It's.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
This is Chris and Amy in the morning. Kiss.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Hey, good morning everyone, Happy Saturday.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
How are you?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
I am actually really good. Yeah, I'll tell you why,
because I faked ten last night.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Yeah, you're looking brown, Yes, I am. And you've done
it well, You've kept it at the level where you're
not going to get look like a yeah, or you're
not doing blackface. You're not going on, Hey it's Saturday.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I just look like I've come home from Hawaii after
being there for a two week holiday.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Yeah, it just changes my whole aura.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
I am pathetic. I know I should love the skin
that I'm in, but hey, here we are.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I love a stain.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I should get into it. I saw a photo of
the two of us at your fortieth, and of course,
to be fair, it was your fortieth. You'd been off
all day being professionally done fake tan or whatever. But
seeing my blotchy, tasty skin.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Ye see.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I can stand next to my husband at any time
throughout the year, with or without a ten, and he's
always darker than me.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Because he's quite olive skin tone.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
But if you put me next to my kids, or
especially my youngest Kobe, he looks like a sick Victorian
child from the eighteenth century. He looks so ill, almost gray.
He's actually the normal skin color. It's me that looks
like I could direct low flying aeroplanes.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Oh. Without fake tan, you hold up like the skin
on the bottom of your arm is actually transparent and
you can just see every vein. I'm not that bad,
but yeah, that would be really tough being albino. I
hope they're still called albino and it's not an outdated
defensive term. But imagine that, you know, five minutes out
in the sun and you just you're cooked.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Yeah, well, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Like, you know, when you go to the beach or
you're outside and it's summer and you just get maybe
a little thirty forty minutes of vitamin D and your
skin just changes color ever so slightly, even with sunscreen on.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
You just look healthier and you feel better. And that's kind.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Of what fake tan does for all of us women,
because now we know that the sun is naughty.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Drops a few pounds as well. Really, you know when
you see a big fat guy on the beach in
his speedos or whatever, like usually like on the you know,
some Greek island or something, and he's there and he
doesn't care, but he's so tanse that he kind of
pulls it off.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
It doesn't actually look as offensive as opposed to somebody
who's ghostly white.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
You want me to take my shirt off?
Speaker 3 (02:58):
No, please don't.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
It's what you're talking about.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
This is Crispage and Amy's Ride and.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
SEC Day last weekend. Yes, on Saturday, I took my
eight year old Henry to the football and before all
the footy games they do the full Anzac ceremony and
the one I was at great goes for probably half
an hour before the game. There's returned services. There's the
horse with no rider with the boots sitting backwards in
(03:27):
the stirrups that represents all the fallen soldiers. Oh wow,
So they lead around this horse with no rider. Everyone
stands as the horse comes around, and the soldiers near you.
So I'm sitting there with an eight year old and
it's his first Anzac Day experience, so there's a lot
of questions like, oh, why do we have to stand
up and you'll standing up. Is I suppose it's respect
(03:48):
showing respect? Why is it from silent? I mean it's silence.
And I said, well, I guess it's also well, it's respect,
and it's the site. You know that many thousands of
people in a stadium making no noise is a really
eerie paxle. Like the silence, I guess. I was like, well,
I guess it's giving you time to think what people sacrificed.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Knowing my kids, they would have been like, what's silence?
Speaker 3 (04:13):
What is silence?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Dad? What you mean I can't talk for sixty seconds
because of a few wars a few years ago, I
can't talk for sixty seconds.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah, I'm surprised you don' get what is war?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
What I've already had.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
So we've had so many questions like that.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
And the other question was World War one and two,
Like he goes, oh, did we win? And I was like, yeah,
but there's no real winners, Like, yeah, we won, but
like you know, tens of thousands of millions of people
have been killed in wars. There's not really a winner. Yeah,
for sure, But how do you explain to one of
these spoiled little YouTube iPad brats. I know the concept
(04:55):
of being eighteen years old and getting your name rate
or your letter in the mail or your dated birth
read out. You have to go to war and you're
in a on a boat to the other side of
the world with a gun.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I remember my pop he got booted off to Germany
or wherever they were so conscripted with his brother and
when he was like nineteen, and my pop Arthur, he
survived and his brother died over there. And I remember
my dad telling me this story, and I was kind
of like, oh, yeah, that's sad, obviously, But it's not
until you kind of really grow up that you realize
(05:27):
how horrendous war is and how many people lost loved ones,
and like, because it hasn't touched you or affected you,
you don't really have these really big, deep feelings for it.
But you know, as you grow up and get older,
you realize how horrendous of a time it would have been.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Well, these days, wars have fought very differently now, a
lot of drones and long distance stuff. So you we're
probably not going to see conscription again in this lifetime,
but imagine if we did, because back in say World
War Two, you know, people you get conscripted and you
come up with the excuses as to why you can't go,
and that were like probably ones like I've got no legs.
They'd be like all right, fine whatever. Can you imagine
(06:04):
the excuses like eighteen year olds would come out with
today they can't.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Go to Well, I've got mental health issues ADHD for sure.
Well you can still fight a war with that.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Lactose intolerant. Are the meals over there? Do they have glucosin?
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Are they gluten free?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Got there's so many excuses.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yeah, well that's good one thing to remember on Anzac Day.
It was a very different generation. Amen, we are soft.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
This is Crisp Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I want to chat one of my best friends. She
has done this seventy two hour water fast. Before I
say anything about it, I just want to say, like,
I'm actually really proud of her because I have no
idea how as a busy mum of three, she owns
her own business, she's got three children. How you go
without wine? I mean she doesn't drink coffee, but I
(06:56):
think she drinks VS. How you go without those things?
Like those things are my life on the daily without caffeine.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
I can't. I can barely function.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
So water fast isn't not drinking no seventy hours, it's
only water.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Only water.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
So I think she stopped last week on like Saturday night,
and she did not eat again. Her fasting could have
finished on Wednesday night, but she went to bed, so
she probably did even longer, like eighty or something hours.
Now I was like, remind me again why you're doing this, Like,
are you just a sucker for punishment? But apparently obviously
(07:31):
there is a lot of research behind it. Now, please
take all of this with a grain of salt. Chris
and I are absolutely no medical experts, and if you
read up about it, it's quite divided in terms of
what people say about it.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
I'm just going to read you what it's like.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Shock to the body, isn't it shocks. It's the metabolism
into curea, and it.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Kind of kicks your body into katosis. So from twelve hours,
your digestive reset begins, and then at fourteen hours your
blood sugar and insulin drops. Sixteen to eighteen hours, your
keytones rise and your brain boosts, and then you've got
the inflammation drop. Twenty four hours, your hormone growth, hormne
own surge, you've got deeper cellular renewal. This is obviously
(08:13):
for it, right, And then I can't even say this
word auto figgy.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Auto figgy. I can't see the world tog figy.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Whatever intensifies and then maximum renewal between forty eight and
seventy two hours.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Right, So you've got to get to the day three.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
And I was yeah, And so I've been on this
journey with her, chatting away.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Day one she was okay, she said, day two was
hell on earth, like really bad headaches. It would be
like you know when you don't when you skip a
coffee one day and then the next day your body's
like basically going through withdrawals. You need your caffeine. And
then apparently by the end of day three you're meant
to feel a whole lot better.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Now, obviously I've.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Ran it past chat GBT, my best friend, and chat
GBT was like, listen, there are some perks to it.
But because chat thought I was talking about myself, she
was like, hey, listen, you are a busy mum of
three children. You have a hell of a lot of
things going on. You're juggling a lot it's not advisable
for you.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Because the robots said this, the robots.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
My best friend Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she was very
much like I would highly recommend not doing this.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
I just think for busy mums, where are you getting
your energy from?
Speaker 1 (09:24):
I can tell you I have some experience in fasting
because my wife has started doing the fast. Not in
nothing like seventy two hours, but she'll have dinner, Yes,
will have dinner fairly early, like five point thirty with
the kids, and then after dinner she doesn't eat till
lunchtime is the feeding window, and yet basically sees how
long she can go the next day.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Well, I pretty much do that every day.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
So I intermittently fast because I don't have breakfast either.
Now I do cheat because I have a coffee. If
I change that coffee to a black coffee, I would
be intimitately fasting every single day.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
But are you as as a woman, Yeah, ah, how
do I put this? Okay, my wife most days she's
in the office, it's not a problem. But when she's
working from home and she's fasting, she has I'm going
to fast her three pm. She's angry. I'm sure men
get hungry too. But women seem angry a whole lot more.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
What do you mean men get angry?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
My husband is an absolute like menace to society. Without food,
He's angry before he's even had his coffee.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
If he doesn't have.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
A coffee within like the first hour of waking up,
he's feral. Don't talk to him, give him a wide berth.
I couldn't even imagine him going without coffee and food
till like three pm.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Anyway, Look, I'm really proud of us. She stuck it out.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
She said it was hard, really really hard. I spoke
to her on day three and she's so defeated. I said, oh,
you sound so tired and just exhausted. She's like yeah,
And then obviously when you do start eating, you've got
to really slowly ease.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Yourself back in.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
So that was my question, like, what's her first meal
after it? But after three days of no calories, you
can't just sit down and smash a three piece fee
with an extra piece upgraded to last.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I'll tell you what she did, lose four kilos.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
So if you need a quick shred, if you've got
an event coming.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Up, yeah, don't listen to us, Just do a seventy
two hour waterflask. Guys visit Asia and drink the water
barley better way to lose weight? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Sure, This is Crispage and Amy to ride every week
on the show.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
We like to see what the mums of Australia are
all talking about what the big issue is. So let's
check out the Facebook mums group.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
What's the big issue in the Facebook mums groups?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Okay, this mum's written in, Hey mums, do you think
I've overstepped the mark? We live in a small suburb
and I was out doing my morning walk. I happen
to see a guy who I know lives a few
houses up from me, walking his dog. I was about
one hundred meters behind him, and I saw his dog
take a crap in the middle of the pathway, and
(12:07):
I kind of held back to see what this gentleman
going to do. Was he going to scoop it up
and bag it and do the right thing? He kind
of did a quick look left and right and just
kept walking.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Now. I went home after I'd finished my walk. I
also have dogs. I got a doggie bag.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
I scooped up this man's poop and I kindly dropped
it off to him on his doorstep.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Now I've told my husband this.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
He thinks that I'm absolutely batshit crazy, but I like
to think of myself as a bit of a vigilante.
Have I done the wrong thing here?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
No, it's all right. I mean it would have been
better if it was a brown paper bag and you
set it on fire.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Out with your boots.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Ted, he caught the shit poop, that's Billy Madison. Yes, sorry,
I haven't seen that one.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Tell them about business devil woman.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, pooh on the doorstep. Well there's a blast from
the past.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Yeah, listen, I reckon this lady was probably due for
her period, because I get a rationally angry over silly
things around my period as well.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
I look at it like this.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Imagine if my toddler just took a on the in
the middle of the footpath and I go and kept
walking like you would never just leave pooh that belonged
to a response, like a person that you look after
that you're responsible for.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
It's just lacking courtesy a.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Child or a pet. You're responsible for their output, exactly.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Yeah, So I'm with this lady. In fact, I reckon
she should have put it in a brown paper bag. Yeah,
set it on fire.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
God, there's something about when you said, though, if your
kid did it, it'd be different. It's so bad when
you're walking along and you do see, you know, like
a turd on the ground, it's so obvious. Immediately you go, oh,
that's not a dog. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
I don't know what kind of turns do you see?
Speaker 1 (13:51):
It's very rare, you know, yeah, just every now and
then you go, that's that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Because it's so rude, like and stepping in dog poo.
It's a day ruiner.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
God forbid if you're in thongs and it goes through
your toes.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
I've told you this story before, and it's not my story,
but it's worth it. I think. Okay, this guy was
out for a walk and he was walking around an
oval and suddenly needed to go. But like, I mean,
you know when it and this is number two and
this is like, oh, this is nasty. Maybe it was
a prawn larks for dinner last night, but it hit quickly.
(14:27):
He had to run off to the side of the
oval into like some bushes, not heavy bush, just ran
into the bush. What else could he do? Drop the
dacks squat right there and then just as he's finishing,
this big dog runs up like a German shepherd runs
out and like he's like, oh, and the dog's just
walking around, and this old lady is chasing the dog,
(14:50):
going Harry, Harry calling the dog. He's like walked away
from the scene where the dog's gone over to have
a look at it. Then the old lady arrives and
sees the dog, picks up Harry. Oh my goodness, that
(15:10):
as big even for you. Harry gets the plastic bag.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
She's done the right thing.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Out of her bag and picked it up.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
And picked up your mate's pooh.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
It wasn't my mate, It's not my story, and it
wasn't me.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
It was you, wasn't it.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I don't we're talking about the mama.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah, I think it's fine.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
She's done the right thing. She's actually the town superhero.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Have you picked up dog poop before? Never even with
the plastic bag? Do you know what the really bad
thing is? The warmth? You can't feel it, but you
pick it up and it's hot.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Sorry, I've picked up my kids poo and that's bad enough.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I hope you're having your breakfast everyone, and I'm enjoying that.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
This is Crisp Page and.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
I am morning, so yeah, pretty good. Just ducked into
the loo during theteen minutes. Well, yeah, something happened.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
Actually do I want to know?
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Well, I went to the bathroom and I know Australia
is just dying. What happened to the bar? Chris? Yeah, exactly.
I'm going to play a Spice Girls, not the whole song.
I'm just gonna play a little bit of this Spice
Girls song. And if you're a nineties kid or a
Spice Girl's fanatic, you might remember this one, know the
name of this song. To become one, to become one.
(16:29):
So I don't know if you have like a stupid
song that you get in your head at all when
you're doing stuff like we have Mexican Night at our
house and where as I'm cooking burritos for the kids,
we put on Desposito.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
You wear sombreros.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yet well no, I sing Chicken Body. This is our
and we got our stupid songs right. Yes, when I
go to the bathroom and I'm doing a number one, yes,
but you know when it's all the same muscles and
you realize like, oh, actually I need a number two
as well.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
But wait, when you're doing a number one, ain't standing.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Yes, but but you go it comes on?
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Oh and you get the feeling.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Yeah, and I get this in my head, but I
sing when one but comes too.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
You're ruining this for me.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Wow, you want to make yours free?
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Oh wow? I hope people have just tuned in.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
I hope and everyone now knows that your number one
has turned into a two, yes, a three.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Every time to become one by the spice girls, I
want you to think of one become two, and me
deficate that's what you should picture. Okay, and I've ruined
everyone's week.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
This is Chris Page and Amy to ride.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Okay, So obviously Chris and I are married. I don't
know other people, Yeah, to other to other people. Do
you have any single friends? Uh?
Speaker 1 (18:02):
No, not that many.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
I've actually got a few, and man, it's fun to
like live vicariously through them. Like sometimes I'll get on
the dating apps and I'll do some swiping for them
just to see.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
What's out there and either log in or to create.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
As in like when I'm with them, Oh yeah, I'll
jump on her phone. I'll just be like, oh, let
me see what what are you dealing with here. So
a girlfriend of mine recently, she's been single now for
a year or two, and she decided I'm going to
jump on Hinge or I think it was Hinge. You know,
there's Bumble and Tinder and all those kind of people.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Using now because Tinder is basically strictly hookups. Now is
someone told me that there's no relationship finding on tin.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I'm assuming that's the case. But I think there's Bumble
and Hinge. I mean, I'm sure there's lots of them.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
There are these really premium sort of executive.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yeah, there's Raya where they like screen you and you
have to be of a certain level of attractiveness and
have your own money and all this case.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
It's just so wanky.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Check it out.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
You definitely not get in. So my girlfriend she's joined
Hinge and she's just started.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Swiping, swiping, swiping, and we're like, send us through you
know the people that you're matching with. When I tell you,
men like some of the calimber of men on there, it's.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
So bad, so they should.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yeah. On Hind, I was like, would you consider being
a lesbian? I reckon, you could find a better looking
woman than you can a man.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
These days, every woman find a better looking woman. This
is true.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
So over the course of a couple of days, she
was sending us all these profiles men who were declaring
their love and they would do anything to be with
her and meet her and take.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Her out for a drink, blah blah blah. But they're
horrendous looking. So then there's this one guy.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
She goes, Oh, this guy actually looks all right. She
sent us his profile picture. Yeah, absolutely, it looks like
a kind of hot, surfy dude.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
He's got his glasses on, bit ruggedly handsome.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
So they're chatting away all we can, and she finally goes,
I'm going to FaceTime tonight.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
We're gonna have a chat.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
She said that when she face timed him and he answered,
she got the biggest jump scare of her life.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
And it wasn't because he.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Was morbidly obese or anything, but he looked absolutely nothing
like his profile picture. You could tell it was the
same person. But here's what's happened in between. When that
profile photo was taken, this man, which she very quickly learned,
had lost his job, had his relationship, and had his
(20:33):
house repossessed of him, and was actually living in a
caravan at this point.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
So at least he wasn't facetiming from under a bridge.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
No, I mean that he wasn't, but he was also
drinking from a goon bag.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
In from the bag, a silver goon bag.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Just look, we've all done things we're not proud of
with drinking, but I mean, you wouldn't do it on
a video call.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
You wouldn't do it when you're trying to lead with
your best foot first, right, and then within ten minutes
of them being on the FaceTime call, he starts crying. Now,
I can sympathize people go through hard times, and I'm
not taking anything away from that, but what are you
doing on hinge? Why are you trying to meet lovely
(21:18):
women and putting up photos of you looking bronzed and
son kissed and well put together.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
He's just looking for a warm bed for the night.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
You are the he is catfishing my poor girlfriend, And
she said, you're not gonna believe it.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Like with I sat on the phone literally counseling.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
As a psychologist, basically counseling him through things that he
could have done better in his life and how to
move forward and how to get him out of this rut.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
And I said, this is not a good first impression.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
There's no appeal to her for that sort of challenge
of like you said he was, you know, he's obviously
a bit rough around the edges. Can she go I
can change him?
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Well, I do know a lot of women love a challenge.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I mean, I've done a victim relationship before where I'm like,
I can make him better.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I don't think at this stage of her life she's
up for.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
That, nor should she be.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
You know, she's already dated her fair amount of losers.
She does not need a charity case. I just thought
it was hilarious and it's one of those things.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Where you think, is she being punked? Is this a joke?
Speaker 2 (22:23):
She was like, I'm going to write into Hinge and
say to them they need to be screening the people
who were signing up in these days.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I got my first red flag when you were talking
about the photo of him and said he was rugged,
rugged homeless.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
No, ruggedly handsome. My husband is ruggedly handsome. He's a
bit like Harry, and he's got the deep set, wrinkles
and stuff.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
There's no pretty boy.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Yeah, and your husband, like if he lost his job
and you threw him out. He would not look out
of place sitting on a piece of cardboard in the city.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
You know this is true.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
He's rugged anyway, there's slim pickings out there.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
Stay safe, single women.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
But I do hate that though, when men use a
photo of themselves that looks a lot better, when men
post that online. You know, men will take a photo
of themselves that's really flattering, and men will post that
and trick people into thinking.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
That they something different women did.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Men are the worst for men are always doing it.
Hate it. Bloody men and their airbrushed photos.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yes, yeah, those filters, those filters that men are used.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
This is crisp page and amid.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
A lot of people on a Saturday might be on
their way to kids sport. Yes they are right now
on the way home if you had an early one.
I have had a new experience with my eight year
old Henry lately because he's actually really sporty. We didn't
pick him as a sporty one, but he's doing great
at soccer, swimming, running him and he's at school Hayden.
They win everything sporting wise, the two of them. So
(23:53):
then they go to zone yeah or the next one.
And at the moment, similar with soccer, Henry's been chosen
for this training squad with like promising players with the players.
So I'm experiencing Henry experiencing that he's not the best,
and you go, oh, right, I'm good at my little school,
(24:16):
Like can I can kick everyone's part at the school
down the road right zone, Oh you're at the back.
I'm eighth. And it's watching an eight year old be humbled.
It's difficult, but it's a very important lesson and he's made.
Hayden's just as just the same, like wins everything and
does not handle being humbled.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
It's the same at my school with my kids are
at a really small school.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
And Bobby's actually really good.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
He's got loads of stamina, so he does really well
across country. He'll come first, and then he goes off
to his zone and he'll come like fourteenth, and then
if he move, if he goes on to like regional
or something, he comes like seventieth.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
And it's and I'm guessing he's not going to State.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Oh no, honestly, I don't even I'm kind of like,
do you even really want to go to regional?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Like it's do you really want me to drive you
four hours to the Equestrians.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
You know, you love your kids and you want them
to do really well at their chosen sport. But I
don't if I ever really want my kid to be
like exceptionally good, because there.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Goes your life.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Like I've got a friend of mine whose son is
a really skilled soccer player, so much so that I
think when he was like eleven, he was in reps
and he got scouted by the English Premier League soccer team.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Somebody from Arsenal had come out.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
So what they do is they come out to Australia
and the States and everything, and they go out to
these rep soccer teams and they kind of hand select
one or two players and they offer them this kind
of scholarship over in their Arsenal soccer.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
The development squads. That's right.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
And so these a couple of ours, friends of ours,
they have literally uprooted their entire life and moved to
the UK. And I mean, don't get me wrong, the
UK is a fun time when you're twenty one and
you can travel and go to Malaga and Greek Islands
and all this stuff, but to live there permanently, it's
pretty depressing.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Amble though, because of if he does. I mean, so
he gets picked up and plays for Arsenal. I mean,
you know, that's what eighty million dollars.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
I know, I know, but like, yeah, it's a big call.
And obviously he's an incredible soccer player.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
I've never seen him.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
But it's a huge sacrifice on one's life. Like her
husband has a building company, so he kind of flies
to and from Australia, which you know, and then the
other son that they've got, he kind of just has
to go along for the journey. The average one definitely.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Not as yeah, you're not special, but on the upside,
you get to come to the UK. What's your brother
do good stuff?
Speaker 3 (26:49):
What's your brother just take over the world on the
soccer pitch?
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Apparently rowing's the worst. It's like four am, alarm them
to be at the regatta or whatever the hell it
is at five am and things like that. But if
your kid's doing rowing, they're probably at a private school,
so sucker up and get the nanny to take them
because they're going.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
To I don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
I'm happy for my kids to be just like mid range,
be really good, maybe play reps.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
But I'm not moving my life around like I'm not
moving you get.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Your head down. Yeah, it's like this show actually, actually
I think that's our show mission statement, particularly at the
moment here on Kiss. Just keep our heads down.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Down, bum up, yeah, just get the job done.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Get it done.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Why our bums are up? Why are our bums up?
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Yeah? That was the job interview.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
This is Cris Page and Amy's ride.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Well, this segment is it's called airing of grievances. We
decided last week we'd finished the show with it. It
didn't have the desired effect last week. It's meant to
get it off your chest.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
It just kind of agitated us both, didn't it.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Yeah, Well we'll try one more time. See we can
get it better this week.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Airing problems with your people.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Okay, cube cars you know those little cars. I think
the Nissen's or something, but the cube cars.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
Yeah, they're really tiny and little.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Little in this square. I just I have a burning
desire to run them off the road whenever I see one.
And I'm not sure why.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
I have a real grievance with people who when you're
at a red light and it goes green and it's
been green for one second, and somebody behind you is
on the horn. I will literally recline my seat and
just rest for a bit, just out of spite to
piss them off, because I'm like, can you give me
(28:46):
a second to just put my foot down on the accelerator?
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Okay, mine, you're looking at me like you're one of
those people.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Yeah. My grievance is sitting at a traffic light behind
someone and when the light goes green, it's some bimbo
looking at a fat instead of at the traffic and
I have to honker to get it.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
In a movie. I'm not even talking about when I'm
looking at my phone, which I would never do whilst driving.
I'm talking about it's green for zero point eight of
a second. Yeah, and these impatient mofos behind me, I
just boom on the horn.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Get off your phone, get off your horn. I'll tell
you what else pisses me off.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
You know, sometimes when you walk, you know, through a doorway,
or it happens to me all the time in my
household because of my door handles, and your t shirt
or your cardigan or something you're wearing gets caught on
the doorhand patch on it, Yeah, and you get flung
back and for like one second, I feel like I'm
in a bar fight with the door.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Yeah, and you're like it's it's like there's a spider
in your shirt. Doesn't mean like get.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Off, yeah, let me go. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
There's too much plastic at the supermarket. And I know
that's actually probably a legitimate grievance, but I'll tell you
the mushrooms. You know, when you're buying mushrooms at the
supermarket and they've got down the bottom, they've got all
the loose mushrooms, yeah, and then above it they have
the packeted mushrooms in plastic or wrapped in plastic. I
hate it when the supermarket runs out of the loose
ones down the bottom, yeah, and there's only the plastic one.
(30:10):
And I gotta tell you, I rip open the plastic
ones and tip them into the loose into the brown
paper bag and do that because why why are that plastic?
This is this is what the segment is. There's little things.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
For me, I really I get like a little bit
of a nervous twitch when somebody within like a couple
of meters of me is jiggling their leg.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
You know those tappers that like, oh, people that can't
sit still.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Yeah, and I don't know what that is.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
It's nervous energy, is it. Yeah. I think it's hard
to relax around someone like Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
And so they're just constantly. I'm pretty sure our producer
does it.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
He also there's something he does as well. It's the
way he choose gum. He choose gum like a.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Bulldog, like.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Has he got too much in No, he's.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
Just one of those people that likes to chew with
his mouth open.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
It's just an ill beside.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Make it very not guys, look at me, I'm chewing gum.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
You did chewing last week as well, your daughter eating
an apple.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
I haven't enraged you like that is probably my number
one thing that will send me into a blind rage.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Chewing my kids like chewing ice at the moment. It's
a shocking noise and he uses all my eyes.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Yeah, that well, that would suck. Yeah, anything else for you?
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Walking downhill in wet thongs, it's really hard.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
It is really hard.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Your foot slips out or you slip over.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
And you feel like you're about to have a blowout
any minute because there's so much pressure on that tiny
little banger in the middle.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Yeah, you're sort of clenching it between your big toe
and the next one and it's and it's you.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Anyway, well that's a good segment, you know, and I'm
glad it's a good one to end on as well,
because you want to end on something.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Really high, real high. So people come back tomorrow exactly.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
People go, well, that's going to win a radio award.
I'm going in tomorrow eight o'clock and see what else
these guys sleep.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
I think this segment did that for people.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Yeah, yeah, all of Australia looking at each other right now,
going yeah thongs when you're going downhill and their word. Okay, okay.
We will be back tomorrow, Yes.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Yes we will. Whether you like it or not.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Come then we'll catch you then. Hey, enjoy the rest
of your Saturday, have a great day. Thanks for tuning in,
See you guys,
I Heart podcasts.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hear more kiss podcasts, playlists, and listen live on the
free iHeart app.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Explain those.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Everybody's am It's.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
This is Chris and Amy in the morning. Kiss.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Hey, good morning everyone, Happy Saturday.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
How are you?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
I am actually really good. Yeah, I'll tell you why,
because I faked ten last night.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Yeah, you're looking brown, Yes, I am. And you've done
it well, You've kept it at the level where you're
not going to get look like a yeah, or you're
not doing blackface. You're not going on, Hey it's Saturday.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
I just look like I've come home from Hawaii after
being there for a two week holiday.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Yeah, it just changes my whole aura.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
I am pathetic. I know I should love the skin
that I'm in, but hey, here we are.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I love a stain.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I should get into it. I saw a photo of
the two of us at your fortieth, and of course,
to be fair, it was your fortieth. You'd been off
all day being professionally done fake tan or whatever. But
seeing my blotchy, tasty skin.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Ye see.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I can stand next to my husband at any time
throughout the year, with or without a ten, and he's
always darker than me.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Because he's quite olive skin tone.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
But if you put me next to my kids, or
especially my youngest Kobe, he looks like a sick Victorian
child from the eighteenth century. He looks so ill, almost gray.
He's actually the normal skin color. It's me that looks
like I could direct low flying aeroplanes.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Oh. Without fake tan, you hold up like the skin
on the bottom of your arm is actually transparent and
you can just see every vein. I'm not that bad,
but yeah, that would be really tough being albino. I
hope they're still called albino and it's not an outdated
defensive term. But imagine that, you know, five minutes out
in the sun and you just you're cooked.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Yeah, well, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Like, you know, when you go to the beach or
you're outside and it's summer and you just get maybe
a little thirty forty minutes of vitamin D and your
skin just changes color ever so slightly, even with sunscreen on.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
You just look healthier and you feel better. And that's kind.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Of what fake tan does for all of us women,
because now we know that the sun is naughty.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Drops a few pounds as well. Really, you know when
you see a big fat guy on the beach in
his speedos or whatever, like usually like on the you know,
some Greek island or something, and he's there and he
doesn't care, but he's so tanse that he kind of
pulls it off.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
It doesn't actually look as offensive as opposed to somebody
who's ghostly white.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
You want me to take my shirt off?
Speaker 3 (02:58):
No, please don't.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
It's what you're talking about.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
This is Crispage and Amy's Ride and.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
SEC Day last weekend. Yes, on Saturday, I took my
eight year old Henry to the football and before all
the footy games they do the full Anzac ceremony and
the one I was at great goes for probably half
an hour before the game. There's returned services. There's the
horse with no rider with the boots sitting backwards in
(03:27):
the stirrups that represents all the fallen soldiers. Oh wow,
So they lead around this horse with no rider. Everyone
stands as the horse comes around, and the soldiers near you.
So I'm sitting there with an eight year old and
it's his first Anzac Day experience, so there's a lot
of questions like, oh, why do we have to stand
up and you'll standing up. Is I suppose it's respect
(03:48):
showing respect? Why is it from silent? I mean it's silence.
And I said, well, I guess it's also well, it's respect,
and it's the site. You know that many thousands of
people in a stadium making no noise is a really
eerie paxle. Like the silence, I guess. I was like, well,
I guess it's giving you time to think what people sacrificed.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Knowing my kids, they would have been like, what's silence?
Speaker 3 (04:13):
What is silence?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Dad? What you mean I can't talk for sixty seconds
because of a few wars a few years ago, I
can't talk for sixty seconds.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yeah, I'm surprised you don' get what is war?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
What I've already had.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
So we've had so many questions like that.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
And the other question was World War one and two,
Like he goes, oh, did we win? And I was like, yeah,
but there's no real winners, Like, yeah, we won, but
like you know, tens of thousands of millions of people
have been killed in wars. There's not really a winner. Yeah,
for sure, But how do you explain to one of
these spoiled little YouTube iPad brats. I know the concept
(04:55):
of being eighteen years old and getting your name rate
or your letter in the mail or your dated birth
read out. You have to go to war and you're
in a on a boat to the other side of
the world with a gun.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I remember my pop he got booted off to Germany
or wherever they were so conscripted with his brother and
when he was like nineteen, and my pop Arthur, he
survived and his brother died over there. And I remember
my dad telling me this story, and I was kind
of like, oh, yeah, that's sad, obviously, But it's not
until you kind of really grow up that you realize
(05:27):
how horrendous war is and how many people lost loved ones,
and like, because it hasn't touched you or affected you,
you don't really have these really big, deep feelings for it.
But you know, as you grow up and get older,
you realize how horrendous of a time it would have been.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Well, these days, wars have fought very differently now, a
lot of drones and long distance stuff. So you we're
probably not going to see conscription again in this lifetime,
but imagine if we did, because back in say World
War Two, you know, people you get conscripted and you
come up with the excuses as to why you can't go,
and that were like probably ones like I've got no legs.
They'd be like all right, fine whatever. Can you imagine
(06:04):
the excuses like eighteen year olds would come out with
today they can't.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
Go to Well, I've got mental health issues ADHD for sure.
Well you can still fight a war with that.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Lactose intolerant. Are the meals over there? Do they have glucosin?
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Are they gluten free?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Got there's so many excuses.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yeah, well that's good one thing to remember on Anzac Day.
It was a very different generation. Amen, we are soft.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
This is Crisp Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I want to chat one of my best friends. She
has done this seventy two hour water fast. Before I
say anything about it, I just want to say, like,
I'm actually really proud of her because I have no
idea how as a busy mum of three, she owns
her own business, she's got three children. How you go
without wine? I mean she doesn't drink coffee, but I
(06:56):
think she drinks VS. How you go without those things?
Like those things are my life on the daily without caffeine.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
I can't. I can barely function.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
So water fast isn't not drinking no seventy hours, it's
only water.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Only water.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
So I think she stopped last week on like Saturday night,
and she did not eat again. Her fasting could have
finished on Wednesday night, but she went to bed, so
she probably did even longer, like eighty or something hours.
Now I was like, remind me again why you're doing this, Like,
are you just a sucker for punishment? But apparently obviously
(07:31):
there is a lot of research behind it. Now, please
take all of this with a grain of salt. Chris
and I are absolutely no medical experts, and if you
read up about it, it's quite divided in terms of
what people say about it.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
I'm just going to read you what it's like.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Shock to the body, isn't it shocks. It's the metabolism
into curea, and it.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Kind of kicks your body into katosis. So from twelve hours,
your digestive reset begins, and then at fourteen hours your
blood sugar and insulin drops. Sixteen to eighteen hours, your
keytones rise and your brain boosts, and then you've got
the inflammation drop. Twenty four hours, your hormone growth, hormne
own surge, you've got deeper cellular renewal. This is obviously
(08:13):
for it, right, And then I can't even say this
word auto figgy.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Auto figgy. I can't see the world tog figy.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Whatever intensifies and then maximum renewal between forty eight and
seventy two hours.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Right, So you've got to get to the day three.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
And I was yeah, And so I've been on this
journey with her, chatting away.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Day one she was okay, she said, day two was
hell on earth, like really bad headaches. It would be
like you know when you don't when you skip a
coffee one day and then the next day your body's
like basically going through withdrawals. You need your caffeine. And
then apparently by the end of day three you're meant
to feel a whole lot better.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Now, obviously I've.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Ran it past chat GBT, my best friend, and chat
GBT was like, listen, there are some perks to it.
But because chat thought I was talking about myself, she
was like, hey, listen, you are a busy mum of
three children. You have a hell of a lot of
things going on. You're juggling a lot it's not advisable
for you.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Because the robots said this, the robots.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
My best friend Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she was very
much like I would highly recommend not doing this.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
I just think for busy mums, where are you getting
your energy from?
Speaker 1 (09:24):
I can tell you I have some experience in fasting
because my wife has started doing the fast. Not in
nothing like seventy two hours, but she'll have dinner, Yes,
will have dinner fairly early, like five point thirty with
the kids, and then after dinner she doesn't eat till
lunchtime is the feeding window, and yet basically sees how
long she can go the next day.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Well, I pretty much do that every day.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
So I intermittently fast because I don't have breakfast either.
Now I do cheat because I have a coffee. If
I change that coffee to a black coffee, I would
be intimitately fasting every single day.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
But are you as as a woman, Yeah, ah, how
do I put this? Okay, my wife most days she's
in the office, it's not a problem. But when she's
working from home and she's fasting, she has I'm going
to fast her three pm. She's angry. I'm sure men
get hungry too. But women seem angry a whole lot more.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
What do you mean men get angry?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
My husband is an absolute like menace to society. Without food,
He's angry before he's even had his coffee.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
If he doesn't have.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
A coffee within like the first hour of waking up,
he's feral. Don't talk to him, give him a wide berth.
I couldn't even imagine him going without coffee and food
till like three pm.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Anyway, Look, I'm really proud of us. She stuck it out.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
She said it was hard, really really hard. I spoke
to her on day three and she's so defeated. I said, oh,
you sound so tired and just exhausted. She's like yeah,
And then obviously when you do start eating, you've got
to really slowly ease.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Yourself back in.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
So that was my question, like, what's her first meal
after it? But after three days of no calories, you
can't just sit down and smash a three piece fee
with an extra piece upgraded to last.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I'll tell you what she did, lose four kilos.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
So if you need a quick shred, if you've got
an event coming.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Up, yeah, don't listen to us, Just do a seventy
two hour waterflask. Guys visit Asia and drink the water
barley better way to lose weight? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Sure, This is Crispage and Amy to ride every week
on the show.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
We like to see what the mums of Australia are
all talking about what the big issue is. So let's
check out the Facebook mums group.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
What's the big issue in the Facebook mums groups?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Okay, this mum's written in, Hey mums, do you think
I've overstepped the mark? We live in a small suburb
and I was out doing my morning walk. I happen
to see a guy who I know lives a few
houses up from me, walking his dog. I was about
one hundred meters behind him, and I saw his dog
take a crap in the middle of the pathway, and
(12:07):
I kind of held back to see what this gentleman
going to do. Was he going to scoop it up
and bag it and do the right thing? He kind
of did a quick look left and right and just
kept walking.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Now. I went home after I'd finished my walk. I
also have dogs. I got a doggie bag.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
I scooped up this man's poop and I kindly dropped
it off to him on his doorstep.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Now I've told my husband this.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
He thinks that I'm absolutely batshit crazy, but I like
to think of myself as a bit of a vigilante.
Have I done the wrong thing here?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
No, it's all right. I mean it would have been
better if it was a brown paper bag and you
set it on fire.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Out with your boots.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Ted, he caught the shit poop, that's Billy Madison. Yes, sorry,
I haven't seen that one.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Tell them about business devil woman.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, pooh on the doorstep. Well there's a blast from
the past.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Yeah, listen, I reckon this lady was probably due for
her period, because I get a rationally angry over silly
things around my period as well.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
I look at it like this.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Imagine if my toddler just took a on the in
the middle of the footpath and I go and kept
walking like you would never just leave pooh that belonged
to a response, like a person that you look after
that you're responsible for.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
It's just lacking courtesy a.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Child or a pet. You're responsible for their output, exactly.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Yeah, So I'm with this lady. In fact, I reckon
she should have put it in a brown paper bag. Yeah,
set it on fire.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
God, there's something about when you said, though, if your
kid did it, it'd be different. It's so bad when
you're walking along and you do see, you know, like
a turd on the ground, it's so obvious. Immediately you go, oh,
that's not a dog. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
I don't know what kind of turns do you see?
Speaker 1 (13:51):
It's very rare, you know, yeah, just every now and
then you go, that's that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Because it's so rude, like and stepping in dog poo.
It's a day ruiner.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
God forbid if you're in thongs and it goes through
your toes.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
I've told you this story before, and it's not my story,
but it's worth it. I think. Okay, this guy was
out for a walk and he was walking around an
oval and suddenly needed to go. But like, I mean,
you know when it and this is number two and
this is like, oh, this is nasty. Maybe it was
a prawn larks for dinner last night, but it hit quickly.
(14:27):
He had to run off to the side of the
oval into like some bushes, not heavy bush, just ran
into the bush. What else could he do? Drop the
dacks squat right there and then just as he's finishing,
this big dog runs up like a German shepherd runs
out and like he's like, oh, and the dog's just
walking around, and this old lady is chasing the dog,
(14:50):
going Harry, Harry calling the dog. He's like walked away
from the scene where the dog's gone over to have
a look at it. Then the old lady arrives and
sees the dog, picks up Harry. Oh my goodness, that
(15:10):
as big even for you. Harry gets the plastic bag.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
She's done the right thing.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Out of her bag and picked it up.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
And picked up your mate's pooh.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
It wasn't my mate, It's not my story, and it
wasn't me.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
It was you, wasn't it.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I don't we're talking about the mama.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah, I think it's fine.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
She's done the right thing. She's actually the town superhero.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Have you picked up dog poop before? Never even with
the plastic bag? Do you know what the really bad
thing is? The warmth? You can't feel it, but you
pick it up and it's hot.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Sorry, I've picked up my kids poo and that's bad enough.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I hope you're having your breakfast everyone, and I'm enjoying that.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
This is Crisp Page and.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
I am morning, so yeah, pretty good. Just ducked into
the loo during theteen minutes. Well, yeah, something happened.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
Actually do I want to know?
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Well, I went to the bathroom and I know Australia
is just dying. What happened to the bar? Chris? Yeah, exactly.
I'm going to play a Spice Girls, not the whole song.
I'm just gonna play a little bit of this Spice
Girls song. And if you're a nineties kid or a
Spice Girl's fanatic, you might remember this one, know the
name of this song. To become one, to become one.
(16:29):
So I don't know if you have like a stupid
song that you get in your head at all when
you're doing stuff like we have Mexican Night at our
house and where as I'm cooking burritos for the kids,
we put on Desposito.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
You wear sombreros.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yet well no, I sing Chicken Body. This is our
and we got our stupid songs right. Yes, when I
go to the bathroom and I'm doing a number one, yes,
but you know when it's all the same muscles and
you realize like, oh, actually I need a number two
as well.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
But wait, when you're doing a number one, ain't standing.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Yes, but but you go it comes on?
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Oh and you get the feeling.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Yeah, and I get this in my head, but I
sing when one but comes too.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
You're ruining this for me.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Wow, you want to make yours free?
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Oh wow? I hope people have just tuned in.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
I hope and everyone now knows that your number one
has turned into a two, yes, a three.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Every time to become one by the spice girls, I
want you to think of one become two, and me
deficate that's what you should picture. Okay, and I've ruined
everyone's week.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
This is Chris Page and Amy to ride.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Okay, So obviously Chris and I are married. I don't
know other people, Yeah, to other to other people. Do
you have any single friends? Uh?
Speaker 1 (18:02):
No, not that many.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
I've actually got a few, and man, it's fun to
like live vicariously through them. Like sometimes I'll get on
the dating apps and I'll do some swiping for them
just to see.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
What's out there and either log in or to create.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
As in like when I'm with them, Oh yeah, I'll
jump on her phone. I'll just be like, oh, let
me see what what are you dealing with here. So
a girlfriend of mine recently, she's been single now for
a year or two, and she decided I'm going to
jump on Hinge or I think it was Hinge. You know,
there's Bumble and Tinder and all those kind of people.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Using now because Tinder is basically strictly hookups. Now is
someone told me that there's no relationship finding on tin.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I'm assuming that's the case. But I think there's Bumble
and Hinge. I mean, I'm sure there's lots of them.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
There are these really premium sort of executive.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yeah, there's Raya where they like screen you and you
have to be of a certain level of attractiveness and
have your own money and all this case.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
It's just so wanky.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Check it out.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
You definitely not get in. So my girlfriend she's joined
Hinge and she's just started.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Swiping, swiping, swiping, and we're like, send us through you
know the people that you're matching with. When I tell you,
men like some of the calimber of men on there, it's.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
So bad, so they should.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yeah. On Hind, I was like, would you consider being
a lesbian? I reckon, you could find a better looking
woman than you can a man.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
These days, every woman find a better looking woman. This
is true.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
So over the course of a couple of days, she
was sending us all these profiles men who were declaring
their love and they would do anything to be with
her and meet her and take.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Her out for a drink, blah blah blah. But they're
horrendous looking. So then there's this one guy.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
She goes, Oh, this guy actually looks all right. She
sent us his profile picture. Yeah, absolutely, it looks like
a kind of hot, surfy dude.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
He's got his glasses on, bit ruggedly handsome.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
So they're chatting away all we can, and she finally goes,
I'm going to FaceTime tonight.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
We're gonna have a chat.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
She said that when she face timed him and he answered,
she got the biggest jump scare of her life.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
And it wasn't because he.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Was morbidly obese or anything, but he looked absolutely nothing
like his profile picture. You could tell it was the
same person. But here's what's happened in between. When that
profile photo was taken, this man, which she very quickly learned,
had lost his job, had his relationship, and had his
(20:33):
house repossessed of him, and was actually living in a
caravan at this point.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
So at least he wasn't facetiming from under a bridge.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
No, I mean that he wasn't, but he was also
drinking from a goon bag.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
In from the bag, a silver goon bag.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Just look, we've all done things we're not proud of
with drinking, but I mean, you wouldn't do it on
a video call.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
You wouldn't do it when you're trying to lead with
your best foot first, right, and then within ten minutes
of them being on the FaceTime call, he starts crying. Now,
I can sympathize people go through hard times, and I'm
not taking anything away from that, but what are you
doing on hinge? Why are you trying to meet lovely
(21:18):
women and putting up photos of you looking bronzed and
son kissed and well put together.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
He's just looking for a warm bed for the night.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
You are the he is catfishing my poor girlfriend, And
she said, you're not gonna believe it.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Like with I sat on the phone literally counseling.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
As a psychologist, basically counseling him through things that he
could have done better in his life and how to
move forward and how to get him out of this rut.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
And I said, this is not a good first impression.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
There's no appeal to her for that sort of challenge
of like you said he was, you know, he's obviously
a bit rough around the edges. Can she go I
can change him?
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Well, I do know a lot of women love a challenge.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I mean, I've done a victim relationship before where I'm like,
I can make him better.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I don't think at this stage of her life she's
up for.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
That, nor should she be.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
You know, she's already dated her fair amount of losers.
She does not need a charity case. I just thought
it was hilarious and it's one of those things.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Where you think, is she being punked? Is this a joke?
Speaker 2 (22:23):
She was like, I'm going to write into Hinge and
say to them they need to be screening the people
who were signing up in these days.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I got my first red flag when you were talking
about the photo of him and said he was rugged,
rugged homeless.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
No, ruggedly handsome. My husband is ruggedly handsome. He's a
bit like Harry, and he's got the deep set, wrinkles
and stuff.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
There's no pretty boy.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Yeah, and your husband, like if he lost his job
and you threw him out. He would not look out
of place sitting on a piece of cardboard in the city.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
You know this is true.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
He's rugged anyway, there's slim pickings out there.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
Stay safe, single women.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
But I do hate that though, when men use a
photo of themselves that looks a lot better, when men
post that online. You know, men will take a photo
of themselves that's really flattering, and men will post that
and trick people into thinking.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
That they something different women did.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Men are the worst for men are always doing it.
Hate it. Bloody men and their airbrushed photos.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yes, yeah, those filters, those filters that men are used.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
This is crisp page and amid.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
A lot of people on a Saturday might be on
their way to kids sport. Yes they are right now
on the way home if you had an early one.
I have had a new experience with my eight year
old Henry lately because he's actually really sporty. We didn't
pick him as a sporty one, but he's doing great
at soccer, swimming, running him and he's at school Hayden.
They win everything sporting wise, the two of them. So
(23:53):
then they go to zone yeah or the next one.
And at the moment, similar with soccer, Henry's been chosen
for this training squad with like promising players with the players.
So I'm experiencing Henry experiencing that he's not the best,
and you go, oh, right, I'm good at my little school,
(24:16):
Like can I can kick everyone's part at the school
down the road right zone, Oh you're at the back.
I'm eighth. And it's watching an eight year old be humbled.
It's difficult, but it's a very important lesson and he's made.
Hayden's just as just the same, like wins everything and
does not handle being humbled.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
It's the same at my school with my kids are
at a really small school.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
And Bobby's actually really good.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
He's got loads of stamina, so he does really well
across country. He'll come first, and then he goes off
to his zone and he'll come like fourteenth, and then
if he move, if he goes on to like regional
or something, he comes like seventieth.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
And it's and I'm guessing he's not going to State.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Oh no, honestly, I don't even I'm kind of like,
do you even really want to go to regional?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Like it's do you really want me to drive you
four hours to the Equestrians.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
You know, you love your kids and you want them
to do really well at their chosen sport. But I
don't if I ever really want my kid to be
like exceptionally good, because there.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Goes your life.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Like I've got a friend of mine whose son is
a really skilled soccer player, so much so that I
think when he was like eleven, he was in reps
and he got scouted by the English Premier League soccer team.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Somebody from Arsenal had come out.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
So what they do is they come out to Australia
and the States and everything, and they go out to
these rep soccer teams and they kind of hand select
one or two players and they offer them this kind
of scholarship over in their Arsenal soccer.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
The development squads. That's right.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
And so these a couple of ours, friends of ours,
they have literally uprooted their entire life and moved to
the UK. And I mean, don't get me wrong, the
UK is a fun time when you're twenty one and
you can travel and go to Malaga and Greek Islands
and all this stuff, but to live there permanently, it's
pretty depressing.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Amble though, because of if he does. I mean, so
he gets picked up and plays for Arsenal. I mean,
you know, that's what eighty million dollars.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
I know, I know, but like, yeah, it's a big call.
And obviously he's an incredible soccer player.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
I've never seen him.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
But it's a huge sacrifice on one's life. Like her
husband has a building company, so he kind of flies
to and from Australia, which you know, and then the
other son that they've got, he kind of just has
to go along for the journey. The average one definitely.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Not as yeah, you're not special, but on the upside,
you get to come to the UK. What's your brother
do good stuff?
Speaker 3 (26:49):
What's your brother just take over the world on the
soccer pitch?
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Apparently rowing's the worst. It's like four am, alarm them
to be at the regatta or whatever the hell it
is at five am and things like that. But if
your kid's doing rowing, they're probably at a private school,
so sucker up and get the nanny to take them
because they're going.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
To I don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
I'm happy for my kids to be just like mid range,
be really good, maybe play reps.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
But I'm not moving my life around like I'm not
moving you get.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Your head down. Yeah, it's like this show actually, actually
I think that's our show mission statement, particularly at the
moment here on Kiss. Just keep our heads down.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Down, bum up, yeah, just get the job done.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Get it done.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Why our bums are up? Why are our bums up?
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Yeah? That was the job interview.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
This is Cris Page and Amy's ride.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Well, this segment is it's called airing of grievances. We
decided last week we'd finished the show with it. It
didn't have the desired effect last week. It's meant to
get it off your chest.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
It just kind of agitated us both, didn't it.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Yeah, Well we'll try one more time. See we can
get it better this week.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Airing problems with your people.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Okay, cube cars you know those little cars. I think
the Nissen's or something, but the cube cars.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
Yeah, they're really tiny and little.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Little in this square. I just I have a burning
desire to run them off the road whenever I see one.
And I'm not sure why.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
I have a real grievance with people who when you're
at a red light and it goes green and it's
been green for one second, and somebody behind you is
on the horn. I will literally recline my seat and
just rest for a bit, just out of spite to
piss them off, because I'm like, can you give me
(28:46):
a second to just put my foot down on the accelerator?
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Okay, mine, you're looking at me like you're one of
those people.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Yeah. My grievance is sitting at a traffic light behind
someone and when the light goes green, it's some bimbo
looking at a fat instead of at the traffic and
I have to honker to get it.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
In a movie. I'm not even talking about when I'm
looking at my phone, which I would never do whilst driving.
I'm talking about it's green for zero point eight of
a second. Yeah, and these impatient mofos behind me, I
just boom on the horn.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Get off your phone, get off your horn. I'll tell
you what else pisses me off.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
You know, sometimes when you walk, you know, through a doorway,
or it happens to me all the time in my
household because of my door handles, and your t shirt
or your cardigan or something you're wearing gets caught on
the doorhand patch on it, Yeah, and you get flung
back and for like one second, I feel like I'm
in a bar fight with the door.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Yeah, and you're like it's it's like there's a spider
in your shirt. Doesn't mean like get.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Off, yeah, let me go. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
There's too much plastic at the supermarket. And I know
that's actually probably a legitimate grievance, but I'll tell you
the mushrooms. You know, when you're buying mushrooms at the
supermarket and they've got down the bottom, they've got all
the loose mushrooms, yeah, and then above it they have
the packeted mushrooms in plastic or wrapped in plastic. I
hate it when the supermarket runs out of the loose
ones down the bottom, yeah, and there's only the plastic one.
(30:10):
And I gotta tell you, I rip open the plastic
ones and tip them into the loose into the brown
paper bag and do that because why why are that plastic?
This is this is what the segment is. There's little things.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
For me, I really I get like a little bit
of a nervous twitch when somebody within like a couple
of meters of me is jiggling their leg.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
You know those tappers that like, oh, people that can't
sit still.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Yeah, and I don't know what that is.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
It's nervous energy, is it. Yeah. I think it's hard
to relax around someone like Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
And so they're just constantly. I'm pretty sure our producer
does it.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
He also there's something he does as well. It's the
way he choose gum. He choose gum like a.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Bulldog, like.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Has he got too much in No, he's.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
Just one of those people that likes to chew with
his mouth open.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
It's just an ill beside.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Make it very not guys, look at me, I'm chewing gum.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
You did chewing last week as well, your daughter eating
an apple.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
I haven't enraged you like that is probably my number
one thing that will send me into a blind rage.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Chewing my kids like chewing ice at the moment. It's
a shocking noise and he uses all my eyes.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Yeah, that well, that would suck. Yeah, anything else for you?
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Walking downhill in wet thongs, it's really hard.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
It is really hard.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Your foot slips out or you slip over.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
And you feel like you're about to have a blowout
any minute because there's so much pressure on that tiny
little banger in the middle.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Yeah, you're sort of clenching it between your big toe
and the next one and it's and it's you.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Anyway, well that's a good segment, you know, and I'm
glad it's a good one to end on as well,
because you want to end on something.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Really high, real high. So people come back tomorrow exactly.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
People go, well, that's going to win a radio award.
I'm going in tomorrow eight o'clock and see what else
these guys sleep.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
I think this segment did that for people.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Yeah, yeah, all of Australia looking at each other right now,
going yeah thongs when you're going downhill and their word. Okay, okay.
We will be back tomorrow, Yes.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Yes we will. Whether you like it or not.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Come then we'll catch you then. Hey, enjoy the rest
of your Saturday, have a great day. Thanks for tuning in,
See you guys,
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