May 16, 2026 • 27 mins
Amy opens up about the impossible balancing act of parenting in the digital age and why every rule parents try to put in place somehow turns into a battle. From screen time limits and passwords to social media bans and kids finding loopholes around everything, Amy shares the modern parenting frustrations every family is dealing with right now.
On this episode of the Chris & Amy Podcast, Amy and Chris dive into parenting chaos, social media for kids, online safety, family tech rules and the reality of raising children surrounded by screens. There’s also hilarious conversations about bizarre kids songs, passwords constantly being cracked, and the weird things parents suddenly find their children watching online.
Plus, Amy shares her claustrophobic MRI experience, Chris launches into another rant about superhero movies, and the team airs their weekly grievances.
⏱️ Chapters
00:00 – Producer Eggo’s Fuel Disaster
03:05 – The Weird Songs Kids Become Obsessed With
06:50 – Dead Or Alive Celebrity Game
11:00 – The Social Media Ban & Kids Finding Loopholes
14:45 – Amy’s Password & Screen Time Battle At Home
19:05 – Amy’s Claustrophobic MRI Experience
22:55 – Airing Of Grievances Returns
26:15 – Voice Notes, Speakerphones & Superhero Movie Rants
🔗 Hosts
Amy Gerard
🌐 www.amygerard.com.au
📸 @amy.gerard
Chris Page
📸 @chris_page83
Executive Producer – Mathew Eggleston
📧 matheweggleston@arn.com.au
📸 @eggoau on Instagram
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
My heart podcasts, hear more kiss podcasts, playlists and listen
live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Explain everybody's am though it's good feel and.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
This is Chris and Amy in the morning.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Kiss, Hey, good morning everyone. Happy Sunday at a pork chop.
Here you go on sunshine?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Good? How are you?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
I'm good? We got another little ray of sunshine in
the studio.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
It doesn't look very happy.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Though, grumpier than usual. Our producer ego, have you had
a good morning?
Speaker 4 (00:59):
No? I haven't.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Do you want to get it off your chest?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
And pumped the wrong fuel into my car.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
And that's also annoying because I then had to tip
that that fuel now is wasted and you're cheap?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Oh? No, what did you have to pay for it?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Of course? Yeah, they're not a charity. No, caltext went, yeah,
it was an honest off with you, scamp.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
No, half a tank of petrol in a diesel car. Oh,
I had to call the guy to come and fix it.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Yeah, and I had to walk in.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Can I say I have made the exact same mistake?
However I made it within the first month of getting
a diesel car. Have you had a diesel car for
a while I have.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
But we've got a petrol and a diesel and I
filled at the petrol car last night.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
It's in my head.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
You got too much on the brain.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Too much on the brain. I was thinking about, you know,
YouTube videos I wanted to watch the day and who am.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
I going to follow on Instagram?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Next important stuff?
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Well, he's been locked out of red Tube.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
You can't get onto any government, not again.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
You found one that you can get a Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
But you told me not to tell anyone because then
everyone gets on.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I just can't say the name of the sight on
the radio.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah, okay, I did find one. There's a loophole in
their search anyway.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Hey, that's asking for trouble, isn't it. There go having
one diesel car and one petrol car. Evidently, yes, I've
done that.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I actually had to sit on the side of the
road for five hours waiting for an NRMA toe truck
to come and collect me and then drop me back
to my house, and then I had to get some
other company. They came out and a guy actually siphoned
out the petrol from my diesel car.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Yeah, I just rang the guy said where the car is?
I've left the keys in the car and I just
walked off, so he might not be there when I.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Say, he's going to drain the petrol and then leg
it with your car probably, and today's going to get
hell of a lot worse.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
And they won't miss you either because they know you're stuck.
You should when you see him siphoning the petrol. That's impressive.
Then yeah, go by the way, what's the bill going
to be? Because did you know I can suck a
golf ball through a garden hose? It's my party trick.
You want to see it.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I can't do that.
Speaker 5 (03:06):
This is Crispage and.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
You're with Chris and Amy. Thanks for tuning in. I
lost enthusiasm there.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
I know what up in there.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
I just ran out of steam.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Its a little micro nap songs.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I was like a good morning and then whatever, because
my kids whatever are just sapping the life out of
me with the songs. They're being into singing at the moment.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
They found some happy little kids. That's great, created a nice, safe,
loving environment where they can just break out in song.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
No, they're singing Last Goodbye by Jeff Buckley King. They're
not happy kids at all. Now they found some karaoke
thing on YouTube or it's on the Samsung TV or something.
But I just don't know where they get this song.
So the one they're singing over and over and over
at the moment is so random. Wonder it's you that's
(04:05):
and I'm going with it. Hell did you this song?
Speaker 5 (04:10):
Sha?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
You've had too much wine? Anyway, it's in some Mario
Brothers crap where they're singing it's about this song?
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Is that it's luigg Have they just seen the Mario
Brothers movie.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
The second one? Yeah? Yeah, absolute garbage.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Well, I can tell you my kids they've got some
weird fetishes for song. Do you remember that song Boom
Boom boom and Lemisa? Well it's an old yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Well let me lick your booty up and down.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
If you listen to the lyrics, they are not appropriate whatsoever.
But they love the chorus, and I just don't feel
like they're paying any attention to the other lyrics because.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
My kids with the assume it's a sexy kind of song.
I only knew this song from the movie The Substance
with Demi Moore, where she like, you know, crawls out
of her own body and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Diculous movie.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
That was a great movie. But now the kids are
always singing this. Yeah is this How old is this song?
I don't know. I'd never heard you.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
You've never heard this song?
Speaker 3 (05:23):
No, I heard it in the movie. And then when
they when Margaret Qually is doing the aerobics in the substance,
my goodness. Watched that scene a few times, but I didn't.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
My kids love that. My kids love a song by
Fisher as well, which does my head in. But we
also went through a phase. Have you heard of the
poopy Man?
Speaker 3 (05:44):
You've talked about the Poopy Man on the show.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
For like a solid year. It was like the most
requested bedtime song.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
And it's probably here because I think we played it
last time and spoke about it.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
It is vile and it is so annoying, and the
worst thing is it's quite catchy.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Here we go. Is it called poopy poopy bum bump?
Is it?
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Well?
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Of course at kiss we've got it.
Speaker 5 (06:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Poo pe poo pe bum.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Bum boe judge, get a wrap.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
Poo people people, peep people.
Speaker 5 (06:13):
Peep bum bum.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Does pick up at all? Bum that's bum.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Poo poo poo poo poo.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
My kids actually take existing songs and make them rude.
Have you heard it's a really good song that the
song I pumped up my tit? Do you remember that song?
Speaker 1 (06:35):
No, I'm not.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
You can't unhear that. By the way, very clever, So
I got distract. It's like the song I like. I
like the Bruner.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
This is Chris Page and Amy.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
You're ready to play a favorite new game?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yes, yes, I love games.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Strap yourselves in. Everyone, it's dead or alive?
Speaker 5 (07:08):
Chris and Amy.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Now wait a moment. I just got to explain this
game to everyone. Yeah, I say a name, and you
tell me if they're dead or alive. Got it?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Got it?
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Gat finished. That's the explanation. They're all celebrities. Of course, Amy,
you can play a long at home, but I'll test Amy.
Celebrity number one. You tell me if he's dead or alive.
The Great Morgan Freeman. Oh good, bezy Dan. That's God
down right.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Love Morgan Freeman. He is very much still alive? Is yes?
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Is not?
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Was? No, he is alive?
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Yeah you're right.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yeah, you tried to change my mind, there, didn't you.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Eighty nine years old Morgan Freeman. But yeah, one of
those people you just have to just double check. What
about one of the great actresses from the nineties, Shannon Doherty.
Did you watch you remember nine o two one?
Speaker 1 (08:08):
You remember? And Doherty?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
How old you reckon she would be? Or is don't
look outside to help you're trying to get.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I have a weird suspicion that she died or something.
I want to go with my gut and say she's dead.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
No. The point for Amy Shannon Doherty, Yes dead?
Speaker 1 (08:29):
How did she die?
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Cancer? Yes?
Speaker 1 (08:31):
That's a kid? Yes, and I got sorry, just because
I want to point.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
That you're not celebrating her death at fifty three.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Yeah, I do remember it.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Yes, See one of my favorite actors because he's in
I love him because he does both. He's in like
all the R rated gangster movies. Yes, and also in
Home Alone, you know Joe Peshy and Dead Kid, the
(09:01):
short burglar from Home Alone. Not Daniel Stern was the eye.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
I actually have no idea, so I'm just going.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
To go with a you're on fire today. He's eighty
three years old, still alive, thank you. He does look
more and more like Yoda every day as he gets older,
but I.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Can imagine he would is a little Yoda isn't he.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Now, let's go to an Aussie hero here. Now, this
is this is where the stakes are a bit high. Is
to get this wrong?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
What should we get this?
Speaker 3 (09:29):
People who actually know her might be listening. Olympic swimming
legend and Australian icon Dawn Fraser.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Oh, I think she's passed away.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Well, it depends how you define passed away. I guess
if doing ads on YouTube for a mobile foot spark?
Is she still alive at eighty nine years old?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
I don't see her YouTube ads, that's why.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
No, I've seen you put your feet in this and
a lovely shot of Dawn with her pants pulled up
in a ankles in a mobile massage spa thing. So sorry, Dawn,
so alive at eighty iron yep?
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Okay, there's one wrong.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Let's go to a rock star because a lot of
them die young. But then and then there's the ones
that you how are they're still alive? Like Keith Richards.
What do you think about Steven Tyler from Aerosmith? Stop
looking outside for health and think yourself. I see he's
(10:35):
dead Stephen Tyler. Nah, he's alive, but looks looks like
someone has done up a corpse.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
No, so he died ten years ago for an open casket.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
And he looks like an old woman that's been done up.
He was on American Idol and everything, and.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Yeah, that's great innings for a rock.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Star seventy eight. He's not even that old. But but
you're only as old as the woman you're with.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Well, how old is his girlfriend?
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Not that all this is.
Speaker 5 (11:07):
Chris Page and.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
The social media ban. Amy, you and I didn't see
eye to eye. We both agree that kids under sixteen
probably shouldn't be on social media. Yeah, it's a good thing.
I was like, don't tell me how to raise my kids. Government.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I think it's a good thing.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Sure, every time I ran about the government, people say
I'm a conspiracy theorist. Can't you think the government are
a bunch of wankers Without being a conspiracy theorist, I.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Think they usually go hand in hand.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Okay, Yeah, there is definitely crossover. I'll give you that.
So the social media ban is underway, we know that
a lot of kids, like I said beforehand, would easily
get around of course. Yeah, and they're still on it.
Facebook or Meta, the company, Zuckerberg, the Lizard. They're getting
ahead of the curve. So lawsuits are starting to come
(11:56):
in for Facebook about it being designed to be addictive,
huge one in the States, which is seen as a
sort of watermark lawsuit because if this woman's suing them
wins for being addictive, then lawyers everywhere licking their lips, going,
we can sue Facebook. So they're bringing in AI another
thing you and I don't see age aid I on,
(12:19):
and they're getting AI to go through all the accounts
on Facebook to find underage accounts. How AI does this
It looks for first of all the things they say,
the events they go to, the people they're talking to.
So for example, if you say you're adeen on Facebook,
then you're always talking about you.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Know, sixteen year old's birthday.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Or what you're doing in year AID at school. AI goes, oh,
you're lying, you're off. It also scans all of your
photos and videos that you upload for age verification and
anyone else in your videos that you put up, it's
scanned the AI guess as your age. If you're young,
you're gone. It's getting creepy.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Well, I think the thing is, I know I've got
friends who have teenage daughters. They're twelve or thirteen, and
all they've done is they've put themselves as the account
holder and it says like account.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Run by mum, but it's not, Oh you can do that,
can you say?
Speaker 4 (13:22):
So?
Speaker 1 (13:22):
The account's under my girlfriend's the mum's name and age,
but they're all photos of her thirteen year old daughter.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
The other thing it's very easy to do, I believe,
is get an international VPN and just get on so
they don't know you're in Australia. Yeah too, you just
google that really if you wanted to.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
So you think it's a bad thing, I still think
it's a good step in the right direction. All of
these things that are being put into place are to
protect children. Honestly, if I could choose, I would much
prefer to be raising children back in my generation than
I would in this big time Yeah, because it's like
you're almost fighting a losing battle, do you know what
(14:01):
I mean? And I just think I was smarter than
my parents when you know, MSN and ICQ came about,
like I always found loop poles around and everything. Yes,
and kids these days are finding loopholes around everything because
ultimately they're more across it, they're cleverer.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
They are what do you think they talk about at school.
It would be all things like how to still get
on Instagram and Snapchat even though you're not sixteen. They
compare notes, they do it.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
They're Smart's just sad because it just ruins children's childhood.
Like you know what, wait till they're sixteen. They're going
to be addicted to their phone anyway, but at least
let them be kids for a while. First.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Yeah, anyway, Steve Jobs, I mean he's dead now anyway,
But who would you go back in time and kill?
Speaker 1 (14:42):
There's no one I think about killing. Really you. He's like, well, look,
let me get my book out.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
I'm not going to get my kill list out.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
On the radio for this is Cris Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
I want to talk to you about passwords and pass
codes at home with the kids. So I'm talking parental
locks on you know, Disney, YouTube, my phone, everything. I'm
getting rid of them because it becomes a game for
the kids to find out what all the codes are. Yeah,
(15:20):
and whoever designed them, By the way, that where you
put in the code on Disney and stuff, why would
you design it so you can see what numbers you're
putting in? So when you're putting in. The kids are there,
they're watching.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
I don't know what is happening at my household, but
I have even with my daughter. She has her iPad,
she's the only one that's allowed one, and we've got
some boundaries put in place, so she's not allowed to
watch pretty much anything on the internet. So she can
have YouTube kids and some games. She can talk to
her friends on kids Messenger, but she has a time
limit so she can only watch two hours a day,
(15:54):
and the only way she can extend that is if
I give her permission or she puts in the parental code.
When I tell you, I have set up that many codes,
and what I used to do is I'd do the
code and then I'd save said code in my noes.
And what I realized was happening was she would take
my phone, Oh mum, come both, I just want to
check the weather for today. She'd go into my notes. Boom,
(16:17):
she's got the code. Now what I've had to do
is I've changed the code. I've now emailed the code
to myself, and then I've archived that said code into
a folder in my Gmail account. And somehow she has
still cracked the code. So Sometimes she'll come down and
she'll say, oh, can I just have an extra fifteen minutes?
(16:39):
And if I'm doing a zoom call and it's you know,
it's a necessary evil. I will sometimes just punch it
in and I don't know whether she's screen recorded the screen.
I don't know what she's done. She is very clever,
and it's like what I was saying, you know, last hour.
Even as a kid, I used to know loopholes to
(16:59):
get on MSN, get.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
On ICQ and a body cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Right, I had a fake ID. Whatever. Whatever you want
as a kid, you can get it.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
This is smart what you're explaining. Not playing the password
game anymore. Because they say, oh, can we watch some
half an hour YouTube on the TV, And I'm like, yeah,
is the code still for one eight six?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
So you set up a code? But they know the code,
they know the code.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
So I said them, look all right, guys, you know what,
I'm going to take all the parenal codes off the TV.
It's off Disney, off like my account on Disney. It's
off YouTube. We are going to operate on trust. You
know what you're not allowed to watch where you are.
You know, if it's m you have to ask all
(17:43):
that sort of stuff, and we're going to go off
trust see how that goes, because I don't have to
deal with it.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
And how's that going for you?
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Came down yesterday they're watching the Human Centerpiece.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I've tried to do this not so much with screens,
but with food, because I was always deprived of junk
food as a kid, always and now as an adult,
I'm a junk food theme. And my sister in law
always had junk food at the ready. It was always
in arms each at her height, and she would select
an apple instead because it was there and it wasn't forbidden.
(18:15):
So I tried this thing where I put all the
chips like at arms reach for all my kids. And
one day I found Kobe, who's like literally our resident
bin chicken. He'd eat in like thirteen packets of chips.
Like there are some kids that need boundaries put in
place because otherwise they can't be trusted. If I took
all the pin codes off Charlie's iPad, she would stay
(18:36):
up till four in the morning watching YouTube.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Maybe that's what happened in the Garden of Eden with
Adam and Eve. Maybe, like I can't eat any more
popcorn chicken. Yeah, I need an apple and I'm going
to I know he said not to, but I'm going
to do it. Yeah, I just need some fruit.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Maybe maybe all she had at the ready was popcorn chicken.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
Yea.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Anyway, passwords are crap.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I need we need a refresher in a week's time.
I want to see how that lack of password and
lack of boundaries is going for you.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Okay, okay, report update. Maybe it's humans centipede too. They
can watch this week. There's three of them, so you
know they can get through more.
Speaker 5 (19:13):
This is Crispage and Amy to your ride.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Are you claustrophobic by any chense?
Speaker 4 (19:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:19):
I don't like being in like really crowded noise places.
It's not so much confined, but it's well, I'm confined
by a crowd with noise. I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Well. It's interesting because I actually I'm doing this job
for this everlab health thing where they do a big
deep dive into your health and all the diagnostics and everything,
and part of it is you go and get an
MRI done of your body, which I didn't realize how.
I don't want to say intense because it wasn't intense,
but it definitely took me by surprise.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
And was it It was your brain the MRI. Is
it your whole body?
Speaker 4 (19:54):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Well, it can do your whole body, right. So the
biggest question they ask you, aside from are you wearing
any metal piercings or anything, because it's magnetic right to.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Have to take out your little stud that you've got
the tickler.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
I don't have any studs down there, mate. But the
second question they ask is are you claustrophobic. What they
do is you lie down and they put ear plugs
in because they say it's really loud in there, so
you stick in earplugs. Then you put on headphones like
what we're.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Wearing now on the tube.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Then they wed you into this thing and they put
more things so your head's quite clamped in. Then they
lay these heavy camera blankets over the top of you,
so you feel like you are underneath what feels like
a weighted blanket literally, And then I was already feeling
(20:42):
a bit like, okay, this is quite a lot. And
then they put a cage over your face, like two
centimeters from your face, and you literally feel like Hannibal Lecter, right,
and then they slide you into this tiny cabin right
like a tiny tunnel, and then you need to lie
(21:03):
there without moving a muscle for an hour. If you
move a muscle or move or twitch or whatever, it
goes for longer. So you can be in there for
up to an hour and a half. There is nothing
to do in there. You're just alone with your thoughts.
But also the machine is so loud. There's all the
(21:24):
right around your head, around across your body. And I
was just lying in there. I mean, all of my
intrusive thoughts came to me at once. It was not pleasant,
but I was thinking, how do people do this? I
think about people who have to have them regularly, children.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
And chemo and stuff like that. Those people don't have
these really invasive, tough medical procedures all the time.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
They and they're in there for so long. And I
was in there for an hour and it felt like
I was in there for four days. I was cold,
I was trying not to shiver. And I remember messaging
my girlfriend who has been looking into doing it, but
she can't even get into a lift and have like
people around her. And I said, Babe, you wouldn't even
be able to have the equipment laid over you, because
(22:11):
you literally feel like you're put into like a plastic coffin.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Almost you should do a surprise thing for your girlfriend
for our next birthday and organize like a like a
red balloon experience. No go caving on my ground, but
go one of those ones. We have to crawl through
a really tight tunnel between two rocks deep underground. That's
maybe I am claustrophobic because that's my worst nightmare.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
You've got to be real. I was a bit of
a yogi. I had to do the whole mind of
a matter thing and I really had to like focus
on it because you could very easily flip out.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Yeah, I don't know. I don't go to the doctor.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Oh you're one of those idiots.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
This is Crisp Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Almost time for us to get out of here. Clock off.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
I know, two hours of work.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
I'm pooped. I'm exact me done for the week before
we go. It's unhealthy to bottle up anger and hatred,
so we like to air our grievances before we get
out of here. Let's do it.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
A problems with your people.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
A wonderful invention from Festivus on Seinfeld The airing of Grievances?
Do you want to kick us off? Tense?
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Okay, A real bugbear of mine. It happened to me
actually only a couple of days ago. You know, when
you go to Woolies and you get a trolley or
coals or wherever it is, and you get a trolley
with a rogue wheel, just one, there's always one, but
for some bloody reason, I always manage to get the
rogue one and you're trying to drive straight and it's
trying to veer you off into the cereals, trying to
(23:45):
crash you into all the shells. I'm not drunk, but
I may as well be with the trolley that I've picked.
Does my head in?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
I know I've complained about charity muggers in the segment
before and my bear, and they're always English. Yes, yeah
for you, sef mate. Don't you like your hate six children?
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Do you know?
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (24:04):
I now have a problem as well with the people
selling as well. They're not even from a charity. I
was a cop by people trying to sell me this
special brand of pet food. Oh the day I said
I don't have a dog, and.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
They were like, oh, it's okay.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
They didn't let up. They're like, you you're thinking about
getting one? I was with my kids. They're like, and
in front of Henry and Oscar, they go, I bet
your kids would love a dog.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
And they're like, yeah, you're getting a dog? Would you
shut up?
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Yeah? I know they do my head in. Here's another
one that I have a real bug bear with. There's
certain friends of mine I won't name names. Hopefully they're
not listening, but they love to leave voice notes. You know,
some people they're either texts or callers, and then every
now and again there's voice notes. But sometimes there's certain
friends of mine that leave me voice notes that are
longer than a podcast. And I physically cannot stay focused
(24:55):
enough to listen to a ten minute voice note. And
then I'll get halfway through, I'll forget what the first
two three minutes was about, and then I just can't
reply because it's too long.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I hate voice notes.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
You know, if you're going to do a ten minute
voice no, just call me.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
No, don't even call me text.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
I don't mind to call him in the car.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Now, it could have been a text. Don't ring me. Ever.
Too many superhero movies. I'm sick of them, the Marvel universe.
It's so I like spider Man, I like Batman. I
know he's not Marvel, Calm down, Nerds, DC Comics.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I mean the fact that you know that well.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
I like spider Man and an iron Man, Robert Downey Jr.
He was good, the ant Man, the Incredible Flash and
then and they're not good actors playing them like you got.
I mean Paul Rudd as an ant Man. I like
Paul Rudd, but a superhero and the jerk that played
the Flash or whatever, that guy is no idea, no idea.
(26:05):
What was the real is shuit? On the other day,
doctor Strange that it's Benedict's Cumberbatch, But it's like who.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
I have absolutely no idea. Who you're talking about, Madam Webb.
I don't know, but it sounds like you're watching a
lot of superhero movies.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
No, I'm looking at the movies because I want to
go to the movies all the time, and I'm seeing
all this crap.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
What about people who will answer phone calls on speakerphone
and we'll just have a full blown conversation with a
loved one or a friend on speakerphone in a public place.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
I was on the train the other day and a
bloke was doing that.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
I literally was in a lift the other day with
a lady and there must have been twelve people in
the lift, and her phone was ringing and I could
see her, and I thought to myself, don't answer it,
just wait till we get to the bottom. Not only
did she answer it, she put on speaker so we
could hear her entire conversation with her daughter. I was like,
is there any common courtesy in a lift? No one
wants to hear this.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
She'll learn a lesson one day. She'll pick it up
on speaker and someone will go, hey, you want to
hear a racist joke. Just hang on a second. I'm
just just in a lift. Okay, let's quit this before
we get angry, because I think we're still in a
good mood. We've gotten some things off our chest, but
we haven't got We're done aggravated yet. Have a good
day everyone, We're going to come back next week.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
We'll see you next week.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Have a go on bike bakee
My heart podcasts, hear more kiss podcasts, playlists and listen
live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Explain everybody's am though it's good feel and.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
This is Chris and Amy in the morning.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Kiss, Hey, good morning everyone. Happy Sunday at a pork chop.
Here you go on sunshine?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Good? How are you?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
I'm good? We got another little ray of sunshine in
the studio.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
It doesn't look very happy.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Though, grumpier than usual. Our producer ego, have you had
a good morning?
Speaker 4 (00:59):
No? I haven't.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Do you want to get it off your chest?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
And pumped the wrong fuel into my car.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
And that's also annoying because I then had to tip
that that fuel now is wasted and you're cheap?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Oh? No, what did you have to pay for it?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Of course? Yeah, they're not a charity. No, caltext went, yeah,
it was an honest off with you, scamp.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
No, half a tank of petrol in a diesel car. Oh,
I had to call the guy to come and fix it.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Yeah, and I had to walk in.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Can I say I have made the exact same mistake?
However I made it within the first month of getting
a diesel car. Have you had a diesel car for
a while I have.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
But we've got a petrol and a diesel and I
filled at the petrol car last night.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
It's in my head.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
You got too much on the brain.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Too much on the brain. I was thinking about, you know,
YouTube videos I wanted to watch the day and who am.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
I going to follow on Instagram?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Next important stuff?
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Well, he's been locked out of red Tube.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
You can't get onto any government, not again.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
You found one that you can get a Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
But you told me not to tell anyone because then
everyone gets on.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I just can't say the name of the sight on
the radio.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah, okay, I did find one. There's a loophole in
their search anyway.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Hey, that's asking for trouble, isn't it. There go having
one diesel car and one petrol car. Evidently, yes, I've
done that.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I actually had to sit on the side of the
road for five hours waiting for an NRMA toe truck
to come and collect me and then drop me back
to my house, and then I had to get some
other company. They came out and a guy actually siphoned
out the petrol from my diesel car.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Yeah, I just rang the guy said where the car is?
I've left the keys in the car and I just
walked off, so he might not be there when I.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Say, he's going to drain the petrol and then leg
it with your car probably, and today's going to get
hell of a lot worse.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
And they won't miss you either because they know you're stuck.
You should when you see him siphoning the petrol. That's impressive.
Then yeah, go by the way, what's the bill going
to be? Because did you know I can suck a
golf ball through a garden hose? It's my party trick.
You want to see it.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I can't do that.
Speaker 5 (03:06):
This is Crispage and.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
You're with Chris and Amy. Thanks for tuning in. I
lost enthusiasm there.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
I know what up in there.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
I just ran out of steam.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Its a little micro nap songs.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I was like a good morning and then whatever, because
my kids whatever are just sapping the life out of
me with the songs. They're being into singing at the moment.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
They found some happy little kids. That's great, created a nice, safe,
loving environment where they can just break out in song.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
No, they're singing Last Goodbye by Jeff Buckley King. They're
not happy kids at all. Now they found some karaoke
thing on YouTube or it's on the Samsung TV or something.
But I just don't know where they get this song.
So the one they're singing over and over and over
at the moment is so random. Wonder it's you that's
(04:05):
and I'm going with it. Hell did you this song?
Speaker 5 (04:10):
Sha?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
You've had too much wine? Anyway, it's in some Mario
Brothers crap where they're singing it's about this song?
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Is that it's luigg Have they just seen the Mario
Brothers movie.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
The second one? Yeah? Yeah, absolute garbage.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Well, I can tell you my kids they've got some
weird fetishes for song. Do you remember that song Boom
Boom boom and Lemisa? Well it's an old yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Well let me lick your booty up and down.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
If you listen to the lyrics, they are not appropriate whatsoever.
But they love the chorus, and I just don't feel
like they're paying any attention to the other lyrics because.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
My kids with the assume it's a sexy kind of song.
I only knew this song from the movie The Substance
with Demi Moore, where she like, you know, crawls out
of her own body and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Diculous movie.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
That was a great movie. But now the kids are
always singing this. Yeah is this How old is this song?
I don't know. I'd never heard you.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
You've never heard this song?
Speaker 3 (05:23):
No, I heard it in the movie. And then when
they when Margaret Qually is doing the aerobics in the substance,
my goodness. Watched that scene a few times, but I didn't.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
My kids love that. My kids love a song by
Fisher as well, which does my head in. But we
also went through a phase. Have you heard of the
poopy Man?
Speaker 3 (05:44):
You've talked about the Poopy Man on the show.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
For like a solid year. It was like the most
requested bedtime song.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
And it's probably here because I think we played it
last time and spoke about it.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
It is vile and it is so annoying, and the
worst thing is it's quite catchy.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Here we go. Is it called poopy poopy bum bump?
Is it?
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Well?
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Of course at kiss we've got it.
Speaker 5 (06:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Poo pe poo pe bum.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Bum boe judge, get a wrap.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
Poo people people, peep people.
Speaker 5 (06:13):
Peep bum bum.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Does pick up at all? Bum that's bum.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Poo poo poo poo poo.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
My kids actually take existing songs and make them rude.
Have you heard it's a really good song that the
song I pumped up my tit? Do you remember that song?
Speaker 1 (06:35):
No, I'm not.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
You can't unhear that. By the way, very clever, So
I got distract. It's like the song I like. I
like the Bruner.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
This is Chris Page and Amy.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
You're ready to play a favorite new game?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yes, yes, I love games.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Strap yourselves in. Everyone, it's dead or alive?
Speaker 5 (07:08):
Chris and Amy.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Now wait a moment. I just got to explain this
game to everyone. Yeah, I say a name, and you
tell me if they're dead or alive. Got it?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Got it?
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Gat finished. That's the explanation. They're all celebrities. Of course, Amy,
you can play a long at home, but I'll test Amy.
Celebrity number one. You tell me if he's dead or alive.
The Great Morgan Freeman. Oh good, bezy Dan. That's God
down right.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Love Morgan Freeman. He is very much still alive? Is yes?
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Is not?
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Was? No, he is alive?
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Yeah you're right.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yeah, you tried to change my mind, there, didn't you.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Eighty nine years old Morgan Freeman. But yeah, one of
those people you just have to just double check. What
about one of the great actresses from the nineties, Shannon Doherty.
Did you watch you remember nine o two one?
Speaker 1 (08:08):
You remember? And Doherty?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
How old you reckon she would be? Or is don't
look outside to help you're trying to get.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I have a weird suspicion that she died or something.
I want to go with my gut and say she's dead.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
No. The point for Amy Shannon Doherty, Yes dead?
Speaker 1 (08:29):
How did she die?
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Cancer? Yes?
Speaker 1 (08:31):
That's a kid? Yes, and I got sorry, just because
I want to point.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
That you're not celebrating her death at fifty three.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Yeah, I do remember it.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Yes, See one of my favorite actors because he's in
I love him because he does both. He's in like
all the R rated gangster movies. Yes, and also in
Home Alone, you know Joe Peshy and Dead Kid, the
(09:01):
short burglar from Home Alone. Not Daniel Stern was the eye.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
I actually have no idea, so I'm just going.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
To go with a you're on fire today. He's eighty
three years old, still alive, thank you. He does look
more and more like Yoda every day as he gets older,
but I.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Can imagine he would is a little Yoda isn't he.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Now, let's go to an Aussie hero here. Now, this
is this is where the stakes are a bit high. Is
to get this wrong?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
What should we get this?
Speaker 3 (09:29):
People who actually know her might be listening. Olympic swimming
legend and Australian icon Dawn Fraser.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Oh, I think she's passed away.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Well, it depends how you define passed away. I guess
if doing ads on YouTube for a mobile foot spark?
Is she still alive at eighty nine years old?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
I don't see her YouTube ads, that's why.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
No, I've seen you put your feet in this and
a lovely shot of Dawn with her pants pulled up
in a ankles in a mobile massage spa thing. So sorry, Dawn,
so alive at eighty iron yep?
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Okay, there's one wrong.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
Let's go to a rock star because a lot of
them die young. But then and then there's the ones
that you how are they're still alive? Like Keith Richards.
What do you think about Steven Tyler from Aerosmith? Stop
looking outside for health and think yourself. I see he's
(10:35):
dead Stephen Tyler. Nah, he's alive, but looks looks like
someone has done up a corpse.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
No, so he died ten years ago for an open casket.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
And he looks like an old woman that's been done up.
He was on American Idol and everything, and.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Yeah, that's great innings for a rock.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Star seventy eight. He's not even that old. But but
you're only as old as the woman you're with.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Well, how old is his girlfriend?
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Not that all this is.
Speaker 5 (11:07):
Chris Page and.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
The social media ban. Amy, you and I didn't see
eye to eye. We both agree that kids under sixteen
probably shouldn't be on social media. Yeah, it's a good thing.
I was like, don't tell me how to raise my kids. Government.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I think it's a good thing.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Sure, every time I ran about the government, people say
I'm a conspiracy theorist. Can't you think the government are
a bunch of wankers Without being a conspiracy theorist, I.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Think they usually go hand in hand.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Okay, Yeah, there is definitely crossover. I'll give you that.
So the social media ban is underway, we know that
a lot of kids, like I said beforehand, would easily
get around of course. Yeah, and they're still on it.
Facebook or Meta, the company, Zuckerberg, the Lizard. They're getting
ahead of the curve. So lawsuits are starting to come
(11:56):
in for Facebook about it being designed to be addictive,
huge one in the States, which is seen as a
sort of watermark lawsuit because if this woman's suing them
wins for being addictive, then lawyers everywhere licking their lips, going,
we can sue Facebook. So they're bringing in AI another
thing you and I don't see age aid I on,
(12:19):
and they're getting AI to go through all the accounts
on Facebook to find underage accounts. How AI does this
It looks for first of all the things they say,
the events they go to, the people they're talking to.
So for example, if you say you're adeen on Facebook,
then you're always talking about you.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Know, sixteen year old's birthday.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Or what you're doing in year AID at school. AI goes, oh,
you're lying, you're off. It also scans all of your
photos and videos that you upload for age verification and
anyone else in your videos that you put up, it's
scanned the AI guess as your age. If you're young,
you're gone. It's getting creepy.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Well, I think the thing is, I know I've got
friends who have teenage daughters. They're twelve or thirteen, and
all they've done is they've put themselves as the account
holder and it says like account.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Run by mum, but it's not, Oh you can do that,
can you say?
Speaker 4 (13:22):
So?
Speaker 1 (13:22):
The account's under my girlfriend's the mum's name and age,
but they're all photos of her thirteen year old daughter.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
The other thing it's very easy to do, I believe,
is get an international VPN and just get on so
they don't know you're in Australia. Yeah too, you just
google that really if you wanted to.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
So you think it's a bad thing, I still think
it's a good step in the right direction. All of
these things that are being put into place are to
protect children. Honestly, if I could choose, I would much
prefer to be raising children back in my generation than
I would in this big time Yeah, because it's like
you're almost fighting a losing battle, do you know what
(14:01):
I mean? And I just think I was smarter than
my parents when you know, MSN and ICQ came about,
like I always found loop poles around and everything. Yes,
and kids these days are finding loopholes around everything because
ultimately they're more across it, they're cleverer.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
They are what do you think they talk about at school.
It would be all things like how to still get
on Instagram and Snapchat even though you're not sixteen. They
compare notes, they do it.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
They're Smart's just sad because it just ruins children's childhood.
Like you know what, wait till they're sixteen. They're going
to be addicted to their phone anyway, but at least
let them be kids for a while. First.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Yeah, anyway, Steve Jobs, I mean he's dead now anyway,
But who would you go back in time and kill?
Speaker 1 (14:42):
There's no one I think about killing. Really you. He's like, well, look,
let me get my book out.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
I'm not going to get my kill list out.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
On the radio for this is Cris Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
I want to talk to you about passwords and pass
codes at home with the kids. So I'm talking parental
locks on you know, Disney, YouTube, my phone, everything. I'm
getting rid of them because it becomes a game for
the kids to find out what all the codes are. Yeah,
(15:20):
and whoever designed them, By the way, that where you
put in the code on Disney and stuff, why would
you design it so you can see what numbers you're
putting in? So when you're putting in. The kids are there,
they're watching.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
I don't know what is happening at my household, but
I have even with my daughter. She has her iPad,
she's the only one that's allowed one, and we've got
some boundaries put in place, so she's not allowed to
watch pretty much anything on the internet. So she can
have YouTube kids and some games. She can talk to
her friends on kids Messenger, but she has a time
limit so she can only watch two hours a day,
(15:54):
and the only way she can extend that is if
I give her permission or she puts in the parental code.
When I tell you, I have set up that many codes,
and what I used to do is I'd do the
code and then I'd save said code in my noes.
And what I realized was happening was she would take
my phone, Oh mum, come both, I just want to
check the weather for today. She'd go into my notes. Boom,
(16:17):
she's got the code. Now what I've had to do
is I've changed the code. I've now emailed the code
to myself, and then I've archived that said code into
a folder in my Gmail account. And somehow she has
still cracked the code. So Sometimes she'll come down and
she'll say, oh, can I just have an extra fifteen minutes?
(16:39):
And if I'm doing a zoom call and it's you know,
it's a necessary evil. I will sometimes just punch it
in and I don't know whether she's screen recorded the screen.
I don't know what she's done. She is very clever,
and it's like what I was saying, you know, last hour.
Even as a kid, I used to know loopholes to
(16:59):
get on MSN, get.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
On ICQ and a body cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Right, I had a fake ID. Whatever. Whatever you want
as a kid, you can get it.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
This is smart what you're explaining. Not playing the password
game anymore. Because they say, oh, can we watch some
half an hour YouTube on the TV, And I'm like, yeah,
is the code still for one eight six?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
So you set up a code? But they know the code,
they know the code.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
So I said them, look all right, guys, you know what,
I'm going to take all the parenal codes off the TV.
It's off Disney, off like my account on Disney. It's
off YouTube. We are going to operate on trust. You
know what you're not allowed to watch where you are.
You know, if it's m you have to ask all
(17:43):
that sort of stuff, and we're going to go off
trust see how that goes, because I don't have to
deal with it.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
And how's that going for you?
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Came down yesterday they're watching the Human Centerpiece.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I've tried to do this not so much with screens,
but with food, because I was always deprived of junk
food as a kid, always and now as an adult,
I'm a junk food theme. And my sister in law
always had junk food at the ready. It was always
in arms each at her height, and she would select
an apple instead because it was there and it wasn't forbidden.
(18:15):
So I tried this thing where I put all the
chips like at arms reach for all my kids. And
one day I found Kobe, who's like literally our resident
bin chicken. He'd eat in like thirteen packets of chips.
Like there are some kids that need boundaries put in
place because otherwise they can't be trusted. If I took
all the pin codes off Charlie's iPad, she would stay
(18:36):
up till four in the morning watching YouTube.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Maybe that's what happened in the Garden of Eden with
Adam and Eve. Maybe, like I can't eat any more
popcorn chicken. Yeah, I need an apple and I'm going
to I know he said not to, but I'm going
to do it. Yeah, I just need some fruit.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Maybe maybe all she had at the ready was popcorn chicken.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
Yea.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Anyway, passwords are crap.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I need we need a refresher in a week's time.
I want to see how that lack of password and
lack of boundaries is going for you.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Okay, okay, report update. Maybe it's humans centipede too. They
can watch this week. There's three of them, so you
know they can get through more.
Speaker 5 (19:13):
This is Crispage and Amy to your ride.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Are you claustrophobic by any chense?
Speaker 4 (19:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:19):
I don't like being in like really crowded noise places.
It's not so much confined, but it's well, I'm confined
by a crowd with noise. I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Well. It's interesting because I actually I'm doing this job
for this everlab health thing where they do a big
deep dive into your health and all the diagnostics and everything,
and part of it is you go and get an
MRI done of your body, which I didn't realize how.
I don't want to say intense because it wasn't intense,
but it definitely took me by surprise.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
And was it It was your brain the MRI. Is
it your whole body?
Speaker 4 (19:54):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Well, it can do your whole body, right. So the
biggest question they ask you, aside from are you wearing
any metal piercings or anything, because it's magnetic right to.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Have to take out your little stud that you've got
the tickler.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
I don't have any studs down there, mate. But the
second question they ask is are you claustrophobic. What they
do is you lie down and they put ear plugs
in because they say it's really loud in there, so
you stick in earplugs. Then you put on headphones like
what we're.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Wearing now on the tube.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Then they wed you into this thing and they put
more things so your head's quite clamped in. Then they
lay these heavy camera blankets over the top of you,
so you feel like you are underneath what feels like
a weighted blanket literally, And then I was already feeling
(20:42):
a bit like, okay, this is quite a lot. And
then they put a cage over your face, like two
centimeters from your face, and you literally feel like Hannibal Lecter, right,
and then they slide you into this tiny cabin right
like a tiny tunnel, and then you need to lie
(21:03):
there without moving a muscle for an hour. If you
move a muscle or move or twitch or whatever, it
goes for longer. So you can be in there for
up to an hour and a half. There is nothing
to do in there. You're just alone with your thoughts.
But also the machine is so loud. There's all the
(21:24):
right around your head, around across your body. And I
was just lying in there. I mean, all of my
intrusive thoughts came to me at once. It was not pleasant,
but I was thinking, how do people do this? I
think about people who have to have them regularly, children.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
And chemo and stuff like that. Those people don't have
these really invasive, tough medical procedures all the time.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
They and they're in there for so long. And I
was in there for an hour and it felt like
I was in there for four days. I was cold,
I was trying not to shiver. And I remember messaging
my girlfriend who has been looking into doing it, but
she can't even get into a lift and have like
people around her. And I said, Babe, you wouldn't even
be able to have the equipment laid over you, because
(22:11):
you literally feel like you're put into like a plastic coffin.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Almost you should do a surprise thing for your girlfriend
for our next birthday and organize like a like a
red balloon experience. No go caving on my ground, but
go one of those ones. We have to crawl through
a really tight tunnel between two rocks deep underground. That's
maybe I am claustrophobic because that's my worst nightmare.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
You've got to be real. I was a bit of
a yogi. I had to do the whole mind of
a matter thing and I really had to like focus
on it because you could very easily flip out.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Yeah, I don't know. I don't go to the doctor.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Oh you're one of those idiots.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
This is Crisp Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Almost time for us to get out of here. Clock off.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
I know, two hours of work.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
I'm pooped. I'm exact me done for the week before
we go. It's unhealthy to bottle up anger and hatred,
so we like to air our grievances before we get
out of here. Let's do it.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
A problems with your people.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
A wonderful invention from Festivus on Seinfeld The airing of Grievances?
Do you want to kick us off? Tense?
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Okay, A real bugbear of mine. It happened to me
actually only a couple of days ago. You know, when
you go to Woolies and you get a trolley or
coals or wherever it is, and you get a trolley
with a rogue wheel, just one, there's always one, but
for some bloody reason, I always manage to get the
rogue one and you're trying to drive straight and it's
trying to veer you off into the cereals, trying to
(23:45):
crash you into all the shells. I'm not drunk, but
I may as well be with the trolley that I've picked.
Does my head in?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
I know I've complained about charity muggers in the segment
before and my bear, and they're always English. Yes, yeah
for you, sef mate. Don't you like your hate six children?
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Do you know?
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (24:04):
I now have a problem as well with the people
selling as well. They're not even from a charity. I
was a cop by people trying to sell me this
special brand of pet food. Oh the day I said
I don't have a dog, and.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
They were like, oh, it's okay.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
They didn't let up. They're like, you you're thinking about
getting one? I was with my kids. They're like, and
in front of Henry and Oscar, they go, I bet
your kids would love a dog.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
And they're like, yeah, you're getting a dog? Would you
shut up?
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Yeah? I know they do my head in. Here's another
one that I have a real bug bear with. There's
certain friends of mine I won't name names. Hopefully they're
not listening, but they love to leave voice notes. You know,
some people they're either texts or callers, and then every
now and again there's voice notes. But sometimes there's certain
friends of mine that leave me voice notes that are
longer than a podcast. And I physically cannot stay focused
(24:55):
enough to listen to a ten minute voice note. And
then I'll get halfway through, I'll forget what the first
two three minutes was about, and then I just can't
reply because it's too long.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I hate voice notes.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
You know, if you're going to do a ten minute
voice no, just call me.
Speaker 3 (25:08):
No, don't even call me text.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
I don't mind to call him in the car.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Now, it could have been a text. Don't ring me. Ever.
Too many superhero movies. I'm sick of them, the Marvel universe.
It's so I like spider Man, I like Batman. I
know he's not Marvel, Calm down, Nerds, DC Comics.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I mean the fact that you know that well.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
I like spider Man and an iron Man, Robert Downey Jr.
He was good, the ant Man, the Incredible Flash and
then and they're not good actors playing them like you got.
I mean Paul Rudd as an ant Man. I like
Paul Rudd, but a superhero and the jerk that played
the Flash or whatever, that guy is no idea, no idea.
(26:05):
What was the real is shuit? On the other day,
doctor Strange that it's Benedict's Cumberbatch, But it's like who.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
I have absolutely no idea. Who you're talking about, Madam Webb.
I don't know, but it sounds like you're watching a
lot of superhero movies.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
No, I'm looking at the movies because I want to
go to the movies all the time, and I'm seeing
all this crap.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
What about people who will answer phone calls on speakerphone
and we'll just have a full blown conversation with a
loved one or a friend on speakerphone in a public place.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
I was on the train the other day and a
bloke was doing that.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
I literally was in a lift the other day with
a lady and there must have been twelve people in
the lift, and her phone was ringing and I could
see her, and I thought to myself, don't answer it,
just wait till we get to the bottom. Not only
did she answer it, she put on speaker so we
could hear her entire conversation with her daughter. I was like,
is there any common courtesy in a lift? No one
wants to hear this.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
She'll learn a lesson one day. She'll pick it up
on speaker and someone will go, hey, you want to
hear a racist joke. Just hang on a second. I'm
just just in a lift. Okay, let's quit this before
we get angry, because I think we're still in a
good mood. We've gotten some things off our chest, but
we haven't got We're done aggravated yet. Have a good
day everyone, We're going to come back next week.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
We'll see you next week.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Have a go on bike bakee
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