April 10, 2026 • 34 mins
Amy Gerard hits a moment this episode that will feel very familiar to mums everywhere, when the little things pile up and suddenly… you snap. From parenting pressure to relationship dynamics, Amy opens up about the realities of juggling it all and the emotional load that comes with it.
On this episode of the Chris & Amy Podcast, the conversation dives into modern motherhood, family life chaos, and the everyday moments that turn into big reactions. Amy shares honest, relatable experiences that will have listeners laughing, cringing and nodding along, while Chris adds his usual mix of humour and perspective.
Expect real talk on parenting, relationships and the mental load, plus the funny and chaotic moments that make family life what it is.
⏱️ Chapters
00:00 – Amy Reaches Her Limit
03:45 – The Moment That Set It Off
08:30 – Parenting Chaos & Mental Load
14:05 – Relationship Talk Gets Honest
19:40 – The Story That Sparked Debate
25:10 – Chris Tries To Help (Kind Of)
30:30 – Final Thoughts & Wrap
🔗 Hosts
Amy Gerard
🌐 www.amygerard.com.au
📸 @amy.gerard
Chris Page
📸 @chris_page83
Executive Producer – Mathew Eggleston
📧 matheweggleston@arn.com.au
📸 @eggoau on Instagram
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
My Heart podcasts, hear more kiss podcasts, playlists, and listen
live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Explain School.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Everybody's am though It's God.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
This is Chris and Amy in the morning.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
Kiss, Hey, good morning everyone. Happy Saturday, Amy.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Gerrive Saturday, Paige. How are you?
Speaker 4 (00:46):
I'm good you. I don't know, look up. It might
be biased because I know on your Instagram that you
have a sauna at home now and I'm looking at
you do look very children relaxed. But your hair is
also a bit big and curly. Is that is that
all sauna related?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Well?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yes, I do like to refer to myself as a
holistic life coach. Now now that I have got a sauna,
I feel like that's warranted. No, a sauna is something
that Ryan and I have been speaking about getting for
a good year now. He loves doing that whole hot
and cold therapy, Like he actually goes to a place
where they do the saunas and the ice baths and whatnot.
(01:25):
I'm actually not that interested in the ice baths, but
I do love a sauna. We did get a little
two person sauna. It was not an expensive one by
any means. But when I tell you the benefits of
it have been absolutely amazing. I feel like I might
be addicted. I do like fifteen minutes of it, fifteen
twenty minutes a day. Make sure, obviously, I stay hydrated
(01:47):
before and after. When I tell you, I am having
the deepest sleeps of my life.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I've never slept so well in my life.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
What is it? So you get you sweat a lot, right,
So that's meant to.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Be good for getting oxygen moving around your body, sweating
out toxins. I probably do it wrong because sometimes I
get in there after a few wines.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Not really recommended.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Well, it's probably sweating out wine.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Well, I know, but.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
A sauna already dehydrates you. And then if you've got
alcohol in there.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
And then the towel that you had wrapped around you
smell at the end of it.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Yeah, so don't sauna and drink.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
But no, I just think there's there's loads of health benefits, obviously.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
I don't know that it's that obvious just sweating.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I've done all my research. I've been reading up on it,
and I'm hooked.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
You should move to Cuba, Pete, Well, I have, you
would love it. It's like forty five degrees every day.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
During the summer, I was thinking that or Townsville.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Towns was not that hot. Really, it was really humid. Humid.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Yeah, you got that.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Actually, yeah, kuber peet is the dry heat.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Yeah, no, the sauna is hot like that. You get
sweaty from humidity.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Yeah. Is there anything good in the sauna? Like you know,
I love my spa and if you line up some
of the jets just right, it's just really Yeah. Is
there anything like that in the sauna? Have you made
love in the sauna?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
I have not made love in the sauna.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
No.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
It's actually small. It's quite small, and so when Ryan's
in there with me, I'm basically sitting on his lap.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Yeah, there's no love making.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Because you told me you and Ryan had made love
in every room of your house.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Oh my god, why is that relevant to this story?
Speaker 4 (03:30):
I'm saying. I said when we moved in, I want
to have the discussion of whether or not a sauna
is a room.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
No, now you haven't.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Well, okay, sure, anyway, sauna is a great guy.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Your Saturday night job is there written down.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
This is crisp page and Amy.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Hope you survive in the school holidays. If you are
a mum or a dad.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
It's a lot for mums, especially working moms, or just
just parents in general.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
School holidays is a lot.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Hey, I'm like a stay at home dad during the week.
I know, like just because someone's not a working mum,
I have a whole new appreciation. But someone goes I'm
a housewife or a homemaker. Yeah, I know that's a job.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Oh man, that's on coming into radio. It feels like
a holiday.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Yes, this is easy.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
It literally feels like a little break, small vacation. I'll
tell you what's really stuffed me up these school holidays though.
Day one Friday, Good Friday, my youngest six year old
Kobe goes next door to my next door goes next
door to my neighbor's house on the trampoline, far too
many kids. He gets double bounced. Next minute I'm hearing
(04:34):
this wailing. Charlie's carry him around and his ankle has
just blown up and he still it's where now what
a week and a half into it and he can't walk.
So we had to get an X rayed. They said
they couldn't see any fractures or any breaks. But I
have to come back in a week's time. If he's
still not putting any weight on it.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
So, what's a really really bad sprain.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Yes, we took him.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Yes, it looks like a really it looks like a
grade three sprain. Like it was so swollen, black and
blue blue, all the bruisings come out.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
But he's on crutches.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
He's like a newborn baby deer trying to learn how
to walk on crutches.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
They're not helpful. They just kind of feel like they've
become weapons.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
And is it wrapped up? Like can he swim? Yeah,
it's and stuff. Can he do anything?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Well, it's not in a cast or anything, but it's
wrapped up. But he's in a significant amount of pain.
And it just means I can do nothing. I can't
take them to flip out. I had all these things
locked in because two boys and a girl. I mean
that in itself is hard because I've got two different
genders kids who want to do completely different things.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Oh, they're hard enough as normal, right, Holidays, the last
thing you need is your six year old on day
one of the holidays becoming invalid.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah, literally, and just say that, I think so, and
just sits on the couch and he's so bored yes,
and I feel really sorry for him and the other
two kids.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Like we're so bored. I was like, invite a friend round.
I can't leave.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I can't even take you up to the shops or
take you out for lunch because old mate, he's sick.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
You can't leave him at home alone and you can't
take him anywhere.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Yeah, well, I mean I can, but it's just a punish.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Yeah, Macaulay Culkin was all right when they left him,
and he didn't he make traps.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
And I don't know if my kids in that advance.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Poor Kobe, and he's actually in constant pain.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
What about poor mom?
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Poor mom? Well did you give you should give Kobe
some of those pills you brought from that dodgy woman
online for your for your back pain. You know which
ones I don't from that woman who's not a doctor.
Just give him a few of those. He'll be right.
Just slide back and watch some movies all day, be
(06:46):
great fun.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
This is crisp page.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
And you turn on the news, Well, I know you don't.
I don't, and I know why mental health.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Exactly all bad.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
But I've scoured news services around the world to find
a couple of good news stories for you to bring
your faith in humanity. Let's take it around so easy.
I push a button here, it plays a random song.
That song's gonna tell us which country we're going to
for the story. Okay, so let's check it out America.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Hey, you know that one way?
Speaker 4 (07:24):
Well, ideally it would have been the bit where she said, Usa,
I'll start the story and then oh no, it's close.
Now we'll just have it.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
It's a party in the U. Say no party, No
party's happening over there.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Well, no, there is a big party happening over there.
Because a bunch of people got together to break a
world record for you know, flash mobs where they dress
up and just appear this want to be terrifying. A
group of horror movie fans in Boston smash the world
record for the most people dressed as Michael Myers from
Halloween in one place.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Did they just turn up like at a shopping center.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
I suppose there's some Facebook group with weird people where
they organize these things.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
That would be a Facebook group field.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
Of you know the mask I'm talking about Michael to
be guarded, the white thing.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
It's like the white mask, right, Yes, imagine just being
two and forty of them.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
Imagine if there was like one of them out of
there who turned up and he's like, yeah, baby wearing
a Bustin Power's mask, that would be I thought we
were addressing as Mike myas Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
I actually wish that happened to me too.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
We're too next. Oh yeah, this is the Netherlands. The
start of Jewel's song Intuition was the most Netherlands Holland's
music I could get shut up Netherlands. A local council
candidate in Rotendam in the Netherlands, one of the female
candidates who won, by the way, was accused of using
(08:52):
a fake AI photo on all her campaign gear. And
you get up these two photos and it does look
like a different woman. She claims a photo of her
it looks like about twenty years ago, and she's run
it through a filter because the quality wasn't high enough.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
One looks like a god, not even the same person.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Well, the people who voted for and elected her are
blowing up saying you lied. I mean, God forbid a
politician would lie before an election and just something different after.
But they've called for a re race or rerun the election.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
That's also so incredibly shallow of the people of Netherland.
Why they voted for her because she was pretty.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
She's shallow too, because she made herself look better. True
on the posters. But now they're going, oh, well, I
wouldn't have voted for him, I knew she looked like that.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Well, it's more like, if you're lying about your appearance,
what else are you gonna lie about?
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Would candidate's appearance affect your vote?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
No, not at all.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
No, I'm just wondering. Do you think it helped Albow
like get in the fact that he is gorgeous? Do
you think yes?
Speaker 3 (09:55):
I think that's exactly why he got elected.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
Do you think yeah?
Speaker 3 (09:58):
For sure?
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Keep in mind he did beat Peter Dutton. Yes, exactly.
Face haunts houses, so maybe it does. I don't know
where too next. And this story, as your art, is
just for you. I'm going to read you the headline
(10:19):
and you just stop me when you know you're interested
in the story.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
Shirtless Tom Hardy stop Yeah. Shirtless Tom Hardy displays his
vast collection of tattoos as he makes a rare appearance
with bikini clad wife on the beach. Check out the picture.
Here's the picture of Tom Hardy's tats. Now, that's a
lot of tattoos, had.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
That many tattoos. I enjoy that masculine, big.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Burly body as well. That's the thing.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
Your husband Ryan, the same sort of paunch and.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
The same sort of belly and the kind of pectori.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
He does have a bit of a beer gut.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Some other celebrities that have tattoos you might not know about.
Do you know, Scarlet your Hansen has a massive rose
and a lamb on her back.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
That's Ryan's tall path.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
She's got tattoos, or just so I can say it
on air, all over Scarlet your Hanson's back, there are
tattoos and one more quick stop It was right here
in Australia. It relates to the fuel crisis because some
Aussies are so fed up with fuel thieves that they
are doing booby trap jerry cans. Now, get this, So
(11:38):
tradees who are sick of having their stuff stolen off
the back of you its are filling up jerry cans
with things like cordial cordial power rate milk and leaving
them unattended on the back of their utes so that
people steal them and pour them into their car and
drive it and blow up their engine.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
I wonder what would happen if you poured milk into
your engine.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
It would affect the sinuses the engine.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
This is cris Page and Amy's ride.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Aims a twenty nine year old woman from Melbourne has
gotten fed up with the online dating scene. Says the
algorithm just keeps feeding her basically the same people over
and over. Go f boys, Yeah, yeah, hey, you'll like
this one got boring, so she set up a Google
form application to date her and has had an amazing response.
Over two hundred and sixty men jumped on and filled
(12:36):
in her very detailed questionnaire. This is Celeste and she's
explaining it online.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
What would you bring to nonmna's house? This was my
favorite question because reading all your answers were actually so stunning.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
My favorite question was I'd bring a.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
Toolbox because I know Nona will need something fixed. Yeah,
so he's obviously Ozzie. Do you have a criminal record?
There was five percent of you that said yes, so
that was a bit concerning. Eleven of you don't have
a driver's license.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
I mean with petral crisis today.
Speaker 6 (13:04):
That is true.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Okay, Now the most important part, which is where you
guys gave us your details, because me and my pa
are having the funniest time trying to contact Tom, who's
just put.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
Tom, which makes it art of the fine. Maybe he's
like Madonna, he's just Tom.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Well he hasn't left a number or an email.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
Yeah, but he's just Tom.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
That's given you. That's all the red flags I need.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
Very simple, Hey, celest Joan is on the line because
we've got a few questions here. Hey Celeste, Hey, celest.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Hi not for having me go, Oh my god, I
am so interested in this whole topic. And I love
that you have just taken matters into your own hands.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Because you've asked the questions that matter. I'm guessing that
whatever the questions are on dating apps aren't the questions
that you want to answered before you go on a date, right.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah exactly?
Speaker 6 (13:53):
Yeah, like do they like cats or dogs? You know
what I mean? Like I'm not a cat's person, so
maybe don't even bother.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
And we just had a little listen to your grab
about people saying that they've got a criminal record, no license,
instant dismissal.
Speaker 6 (14:09):
Absolutely, are you joking? I'm not picking you up.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
Where hang on, You're not even going to ask them
what the criminal record is for No, no, but.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
There's no good criminal records.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
I have you asked about their height? Because I feel
like that's an important one.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
Do you know what?
Speaker 6 (14:28):
That's where I went wrong? And look, I wanted to
give the short kings.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
I've been screwed over by a short king. I had
really great banter. We went on a date after chatting
for weeks and weeks and he was a solid footshot.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Yeah, but you showed up. You said the dwarf had
no amazing personality.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
He wasn't a short statue person, Chris, he was just Yeah,
it was something.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
It's something that's important to me. I wanted a tallow.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
Are these all deal breakers? Celeste? So one of them
I saw? Are you a snorer?
Speaker 6 (15:01):
Oh that's a deal breaker? A come on, especially when
independent girls out here are protecting their peace and then
you you let man come into your world that's snores.
You know how much that's just going to ruin everything
for me?
Speaker 4 (15:15):
How do you know you don't snore? So let's like,
have you been with like a ton of guys and
they all said you didn't snore?
Speaker 6 (15:21):
Look, it's cute, it could be cute. I don't know
for a girl, we get away with things.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
So have you actually gone on any dates yet?
Speaker 6 (15:28):
So I have so the walking situation. I'll tell you
guys the first time I've shared this story. So he
arrived at the cafe early, right, and he was sad,
and I was confused because I was like, Wow, he's early.
This is amazing, Like the bar. The bar is in hell.
So someone arriving early is great. And we get to
the cafe and we're chatting and the band is great.
(15:51):
He's very cute, and I'm like, this is going so well.
And then he stands up to pay and I was like.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Oh, that's why he got there early, to put his
booster seat in.
Speaker 6 (16:02):
I reckon that was a strategy, and I support him
with it because obviously you just do a quick like
lean over to kiss someone cheek like you don't really
suffer height if you're already there.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Yes, so good on him.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
So let's I'm going to tell you what Amy said
when because she we talked about your story and heard
the audio. But then Amy looked up pictures of you
and Amy was sort of almost express, Oh she's really pretty.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
I said, you're an absolute babe, and you.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Went so why and I mean it in a nice way,
but you are your beautiful woman, twenty nine years old
in the city of Melbourne. Why can't you find a man?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Because?
Speaker 6 (16:38):
Oh, I'm sure if you opened this conversation up to
other girls in my age and there would be stories. Guys,
I think I'm not sure. Even on Hinge, it's just
becoming apparent that men are not interested in dating or
settling down, and it's still they're still looking to just
just chilly.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I feel like, just speaking on behalf of my single girlfriends,
they are struggling with the exact same situation, Like no
one is looking for any kind of commitment these days,
probably because there are all of these dating apps and
they kind of know that they don't have to settle
down anytime soon, especially for men, you know, they can
be forty and be dating a twenty five year old.
Speaker 6 (17:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
Have we've got an update on the number there? I've
got two hundred and sixty men applied to this on
my thing? Here has that gone up?
Speaker 6 (17:32):
I had to remove it? That was three days. I
was overwhelmed, Honestly, I was like, how do I go
through all these and actually give them the credit they
deserve because if you are filling it out and you
make it to the end, like for men and their attentions, man,
that's a pretty big deal.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
It's a lot of men to go through as well.
You're going to be like Bonnie Blue by the time
you finished dating on it.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Have you got definitely? Have you got some top runners?
Have you got like top tens.
Speaker 6 (17:55):
I've been out on three days and it was They're
lovely men, but it was pretty rough. I don't know.
I've taken a break. But so what happens is is
every there's an episode that will go live on my
Instagram every week with the date and essentially, because I'm
a comedy creator, I play my non No and my
Nona vets them. So it's like a walg intervention. So
(18:17):
if you do want to tune in, I am sharing
with my community so they can vote at the end
of this series for who they think I should pick today.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
Okay, So Celeste Joan on instagras where we find that.
Speaker 6 (18:30):
That's where you'll find it. Correct.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
I'm going to follow along.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
I am invested, celest Joan. We're going to follow you
and watch these videos. Maybe we can touch base again
when you've found the Roe one.
Speaker 6 (18:41):
Yes, how good. I'll get him on the show.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
Yes, excellent.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
This is Chris Page and Amy.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
You've been watching. I know you don't watch the news,
but during the week surely saw the space mission NASA.
We've gone back to the Moon.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Even you know this, right, I know that, Yes I do.
And look, don't come for me space. You can say
nerds don't want to be offensive.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
I just I want to understand the purpose.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
Yeah, because you were like you were like Lloyd in
Dumb and Dumber. When we got to work, you ran
in and said we've landed on the Moon.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
No, I did not. I did not see that because we.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
Didn't even land on the moon. We went up to
go around and we did like a lap around it.
It's the furthest human beings have ever been from planet Earth.
And they went around to take photos of the far side,
or the dark side of the Moon, as pink Floyd could.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
But again, so I'm just thinking about the costs, the
fuel that's being used, the resources that are being used,
and they're doing a hot lap around the Moon, which
is kind of cool but also.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
Pointless cool for them, cool for.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Them, And I love that there is a woman on
board now, is it?
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Obviously yes, I read a fact that said that last
time they went to the Moon. I know you don't
believe that anyone's actually landed on the Moon, but back
when they did it last a woman couldn't even apply
for a credit card. And now you've got a female
astronaut up there, and you know they're leading an entire
mission control center, which is pretty impressive, and like, yeah,
(20:21):
the girls.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Is that why the spaceship had its blinker on for
the first three thousand Oh are.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
You going to be No, No, it didn't.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
That was the female, That female astronaut would be a
far better driver than you, Chris.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
But was she complaining the whole time that space is
too cold and asking to borrow a male astronauts jumper?
Speaker 1 (20:43):
No, no, that you're throwing all these like sexists things out.
But I still think that in today's climate, with everything
that's going on in the world, I don't know if
the timing was a little bit off or what the
actual point was. Like, let's say they do they've gone
around to the dark side and they've snapped away some
little photos and whatnot. What exactly are they doing with those?
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Not sure it's a lot of money. I'll give you
a stat on that because you mentioned fuel. Yeah right,
And you'll love this statistic about the space mission because
I know you were very, very smart before any of
this fuel crisis. You went and invested in an enormous
he unda palisade and you've got the diesel model as well.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
And she's a thirsty girl, she's a thirsty guzzles that diesel.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
Yeah, it really plus dollars a leader diesel glug glug. Well,
the spaceship that the guys and girl were on used
six thousand liters of fuel a second while it was
taking off, So what's that Roughly a thousand cars a
(21:49):
second could have been filled up instead of these clowns
come around the other side of the Moon.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Exactly my point exactly.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
I'm just saying that where hear me out because I
know you make fun of me for being a conspiracy theorist,
but we're going, oh, this is the furthest that human
beings have ever bin from planet Earth because they flew
around the other side of the Moon, didn't even land
on it. You're telling me over fifty years ago, we
(22:19):
flew like pretty much that distance anyway, and landed and
walked on the moon and beamed to the picture's back.
But now it's like, in fifty years, that's how far
we've come. We can fly to the other side of
the moon. Didn't happen.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Even the landing on the Moon. What is it just
a ticking of the box to say, oh, look we
did it.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
At the time, it was beating Russia.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
It was like Cold.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
War, and they were yeah, no, but that's they wanted
to send Russia broke, so they faked the moon landing
to keep Russia wasting all their money on space.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
I don't think she was AI back then. I don't
know how they would have got that photo.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
Stanley Kubrick directed.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
Look, it's all online if you just do your own research,
you know, on the internet and find out all sorts
of interesting things.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
This is Crispage and Amy to ride.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
So I was talking, I think a few weeks back
we discussed an article that I'd read about there are
two happiest kind of people in the world.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Do you remember this?
Speaker 1 (23:20):
It was married men, married men and single women. Now
I added to that, I think it's single divorced women.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
I think it's women who know what they're not missing correct,
it's women who have been married and are now single.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
And I've actually, just in the last week, I have
got two stories that really back up that theory.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
So the thinking is, yeah, happiest women are single, and
but men are actually only happy with their wife. And
you said useless without Georgie.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
You even said, even though you've got your separate rooms
and whatnot, you would still be happier being married than
you would being single.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
I'm being on your own.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Forty three years old and single seek like this to
work with haha.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Whereas so I've got two little stories. Obviously, my mum
and dad. They've been married for almost fifty years.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Going I met them at your fortieth grade, you did.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Yes, They're very sweet, aren't they.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
But when I tell you my dad is like a
love sick puppy for my mom, it's very cute. They've
got quite a traditional marriage in the sense where my
dad was very much the bread winner and the man
of the house and my mom, you know, didn't work
for twelve years and reared the children.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
And I always used to think that my dad was very.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Much the dominant personality in the marriage, but as I've
gotten older, I realized that my dad is nothing without
my mom.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
So when you're a kid, it's all like wait till
your father gets home, and now you go, oh, he's
a cuck. He's in real life.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Yeah, he played the bad cop and bad cop good
cop back when I was a child, and he was terrifying.
But my mom has actually gone away over to the
UK to visit her mum and without my dad. And
when I I tell you, they do everything together. So
my mom's the person who's got lots of hobbies. So
she plays golf and she goes for walks with her friends.
(25:17):
She's got a book club. And my dad just sits
at home and waits for her, and he loves to
prepare meals, loving meals for her and sit with They
sit out out the back and they share a bottle
of wine and they talk. And anyway, my mom's gone away.
She's gone away for a month, and she said, can
you please just keep an eye on your dad, because.
Speaker 4 (25:34):
It has to be a month, doesn't People of a
certain age will not get on that flight to London
unless they're staying for like a month plus like thirty
hour flights once you're over about sixty, Yeah, you just
won't do it.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
So I sent him a message the other day. I said, morning, Dad,
how are you going?
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Night six without WiFi? Have you heard from her? How
you feeling his message?
Speaker 6 (25:56):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Amy, Your message above is really appreciated. Thank you, darling.
I arrived home yesterday at five point thirty unpacked. Ed's
gone on about his achilles and stuff, and he said,
it's been really quiet down here without your mum. I
reach out often to Mom's side of the bed, and
I've had a few quiet words with her. On a
positive note, though your mum is thriving.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
She loves visiting her parents, Sorry her mom. They do
enjoy each other's company.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Makes this old goat very happy, the same as when
I see you with your mom.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
She loves you so.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Much, just as much as I love her. Twenty seven
days to go.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
And also, do you know anything about this new age
verification thing online? These websites that you used to Now
they want you to prove your age? Yeah, Like, is
it your dad?
Speaker 3 (26:49):
I don't get it?
Speaker 4 (26:49):
So I have it. Did your dad ask? Did he
say anything about websites he goes to that you used
to be able to slog into and now they're like,
what's this age verification. Do you know how I do that?
Speaker 5 (27:03):
Amy?
Speaker 1 (27:03):
He does Google, doesn't frequent any of those kind of
sites that you go to pig. But he's a sad,
little love sick puppy, just waiting.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
For his beloved wife to come home. So there's that theory.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
And then I recently have discovered that a girlfriend of mine,
married with two kids, has recently separated from her husband,
and she lives in another state, so I was kind
of unaware. I know that they've been going to counseling
and kind of trying to work on their marriage. And
then we've got a big group message saying that X
(27:38):
and I had separated, and I tried to call her.
She sent me a voice not back. She was off
with the kids somewhere, and I said, you know, I
know you've been really working on the marriage. I just
want to make sure you know, check in and see
that you're okay. And all she wrote back was I
am fucking thriving. She said, honestly, the last twelve months
(28:00):
has been so hard.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
She wears this thing called a loop.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
It's like a fitness thing on tracks your heart rate
and your stress levels and every stress.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
And you go, what was I doing it for o'clock, well.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Literally for the last She sent me a screenshot of
her loop results and for the last twelve months it
goes bad, poor, good, great.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
And she's been bad for like nine months.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Red red, red, she's been stressed out, bad mood, bad
stress levels all anyway, XS moved out three months ago,
and she is peaking in the green green green, great
great great great, And it's so true.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
She's like, I have all this free time.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
I have no expectation on him to do certain things
or help me with certain things. I just get it done.
I don't rely, I don't expect him to. She is
living her best life. And I've got a few girlfriends
who are separated from their husbands, and they've all said
it's the best thing that's ever happened to them.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
So it just vindicates this story.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
You know, you should have told my wife, don't listen.
Don't listen to this second, George, make sure it's not on,
because it's obviously.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
If you've got a great husband or a great partner
this story.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
But what you're saying is, if God forbid something happened
to your mom, your dad would not co restless. But
if something God forbid did happen to your dad? Your
mom would be like, I have to change my tea
time on Tuesday funeral.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
My mom would be like, oh, that's sad.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
But also, I can have a bowl of porridge for
dinner now, and I can hit.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
The links three times a week.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Now what links?
Speaker 4 (29:39):
Golf?
Speaker 6 (29:39):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Yes, okay, sorry it is golf terminology and clearly not
a golfer.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Yeah. So I just think it kind of.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Brings a little truth to that whole article about the
two happiest people in the world.
Speaker 4 (29:52):
We all try to be happy, we do. I was
actually taking my pills the other day. I'm at that point,
I'm at that age where I've got the pill organized
on this man, and I was looking at this handful
of pills, going, jeez, that's seems like a lot of
pills I have every day. And I took them and
I had that Pharrell song in my head and I
was singing, happened No, I was gone because I'm normal,
(30:13):
just trying to be normal.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Whatever works. Page, That's what I say.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Okay, this is Crisp Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
Before we go on a Saturday, we like to self
reflect and see what we've nailed and failed this week.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Nailed it for failed it ladies.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
First, lady, let's go positive first. What have you nailed this? Oh?
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Okay, I have really done a bit of a deep
dive into my sleep and I'm really interested to know
how well I'm sleeping at night. So I've started wearing
my Apple Watch, and turns out I'm actually a great sleeper.
I've also brought my bedtime forward, so I'm trying to
go to bed now at ten pm.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
It used to be midnight.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
My kids weep me up at six, which is obviously
not adequate amount of sleep. But my sleep score is
like ninety seven, so I feel like if I keep
it up, I might become a genius.
Speaker 4 (31:07):
That's great, you know what, There is nothing more interesting
than other people's sleep.
Speaker 5 (31:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
I love hearing about.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
It, I know, and you should take note because you
stay up far too late.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
I get messages off Paigey at like two am.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
Sometimes at least I don't come in and waste air
time telling you about my sleep.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
You asked for my nailed and I'm really impressed.
Speaker 4 (31:30):
With myself now that well, And depending on where you
are in Australia as well, Daylight Savings does affect people
as well. Yeah, like my dyslexic friend.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
We've heard you, Joe, No, come.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
On every year, come on twenty once a year.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Sure.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
So I walked in on my dyslexic friend last weekend.
He was rubbing boot polish all over his penis. So, no,
you're idiot. You meant to turn your clock back anyway?
That's mine nailed it. Sure, what have you failed? Oh?
Speaker 3 (32:02):
I failed as a doozy.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
I have given my boys back the iPad, and when
I tell you, it has absolutely backfired him face Within
a few hours, literally a few hours, they were brawling
in a far more aggressive manner, begging for more time
because I set up a time limit and I have
just I feel like giving myself an uppercut. Huge fail
(32:26):
on my behalf. They're going again after school.
Speaker 4 (32:27):
Holler, and all the things on it, roadblocks that they do,
they're all designed to be addictive. This big court case
going on in America, it's the first of its kind.
Facebook are being sued by this girl, and it's because
she's going to prove that they design Facebook to make
her addicted.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Wow, I mean you could do that. Any app TikTok's
are worse.
Speaker 4 (32:48):
Yes, any of those. But she says this will be
like a litmus test for future cases because she's suing
Facebook for Oh wow, that's see what happens.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
What's John alden.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
Feld nailed it. I've got a recliner in the living.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Room now, Oh that's so old man.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
Yeah, I know this is about as interesting as your Yeah. No, no,
it was in Oscar's room for you know, it was
George's breastfeeding chair and everything for years. Now it's in
front of the big TV. And I'll tell you what.
Once you go recliner, you never go. You can't sit
on a normal couch again. It's just terrific.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
But that's a real eyesore in your lounger.
Speaker 4 (33:23):
It is, my god, and it's Dad's chair as well.
Now get off Dad's chair. I get that thing now
where men have their chair, Yeah yeah, got it?
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Usually in a man cave though.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
Yeah, now that I failed that. I took Oscar to
holiday camp you know at school. Yeah the other day.
Didn't take a backpack or water bottle or lunch. What,
just took him.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
There here go feed him as well?
Speaker 4 (33:51):
Well, yeah, he'd been to another camp the day before.
They gave him lunch, so I just showed up and
went here go, and they had to ring me and go.
He's got nothing.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Why are your kids going to school camps when you're
at home.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
I'm a bit because I'm a busy and important man.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
Because of all the guard you're doing.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
Yeah, sure, sure, they get in the way.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
Great.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
Look it's free. It's best for everyone. It's interesting to
everybody's mental health. Sure that they go to holiday care.
All right, we are out of here, back tomorrow at
eight am. I hope you can join us then.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Yeah, we'll see you tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (34:27):
Enjoy the rest of your Saturday.
My Heart podcasts, hear more kiss podcasts, playlists, and listen
live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Explain School.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Everybody's am though It's God.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
This is Chris and Amy in the morning.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
Kiss, Hey, good morning everyone. Happy Saturday, Amy.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Gerrive Saturday, Paige. How are you?
Speaker 4 (00:46):
I'm good you. I don't know, look up. It might
be biased because I know on your Instagram that you
have a sauna at home now and I'm looking at
you do look very children relaxed. But your hair is
also a bit big and curly. Is that is that
all sauna related?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Well?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yes, I do like to refer to myself as a
holistic life coach. Now now that I have got a sauna,
I feel like that's warranted. No, a sauna is something
that Ryan and I have been speaking about getting for
a good year now. He loves doing that whole hot
and cold therapy, Like he actually goes to a place
where they do the saunas and the ice baths and whatnot.
(01:25):
I'm actually not that interested in the ice baths, but
I do love a sauna. We did get a little
two person sauna. It was not an expensive one by
any means. But when I tell you the benefits of
it have been absolutely amazing. I feel like I might
be addicted. I do like fifteen minutes of it, fifteen
twenty minutes a day. Make sure, obviously, I stay hydrated
(01:47):
before and after. When I tell you, I am having
the deepest sleeps of my life.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I've never slept so well in my life.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
What is it? So you get you sweat a lot, right,
So that's meant to.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Be good for getting oxygen moving around your body, sweating
out toxins. I probably do it wrong because sometimes I
get in there after a few wines.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Not really recommended.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Well, it's probably sweating out wine.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Well, I know, but.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
A sauna already dehydrates you. And then if you've got
alcohol in there.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
And then the towel that you had wrapped around you
smell at the end of it.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Yeah, so don't sauna and drink.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
But no, I just think there's there's loads of health benefits, obviously.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
I don't know that it's that obvious just sweating.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I've done all my research. I've been reading up on it,
and I'm hooked.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
You should move to Cuba, Pete, Well, I have, you
would love it. It's like forty five degrees every day.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
During the summer, I was thinking that or Townsville.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Towns was not that hot. Really, it was really humid. Humid.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Yeah, you got that.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Actually, yeah, kuber peet is the dry heat.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Yeah, no, the sauna is hot like that. You get
sweaty from humidity.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Yeah. Is there anything good in the sauna? Like you know,
I love my spa and if you line up some
of the jets just right, it's just really Yeah. Is
there anything like that in the sauna? Have you made
love in the sauna?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
I have not made love in the sauna.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
No.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
It's actually small. It's quite small, and so when Ryan's
in there with me, I'm basically sitting on his lap.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Yeah, there's no love making.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Because you told me you and Ryan had made love
in every room of your house.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Oh my god, why is that relevant to this story?
Speaker 4 (03:30):
I'm saying. I said when we moved in, I want
to have the discussion of whether or not a sauna
is a room.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
No, now you haven't.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Well, okay, sure, anyway, sauna is a great guy.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Your Saturday night job is there written down.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
This is crisp page and Amy.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Hope you survive in the school holidays. If you are
a mum or a dad.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
It's a lot for mums, especially working moms, or just
just parents in general.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
School holidays is a lot.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Hey, I'm like a stay at home dad during the week.
I know, like just because someone's not a working mum,
I have a whole new appreciation. But someone goes I'm
a housewife or a homemaker. Yeah, I know that's a job.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Oh man, that's on coming into radio. It feels like
a holiday.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Yes, this is easy.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
It literally feels like a little break, small vacation. I'll
tell you what's really stuffed me up these school holidays though.
Day one Friday, Good Friday, my youngest six year old
Kobe goes next door to my next door goes next
door to my neighbor's house on the trampoline, far too
many kids. He gets double bounced. Next minute I'm hearing
(04:34):
this wailing. Charlie's carry him around and his ankle has
just blown up and he still it's where now what
a week and a half into it and he can't walk.
So we had to get an X rayed. They said
they couldn't see any fractures or any breaks. But I
have to come back in a week's time. If he's
still not putting any weight on it.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
So, what's a really really bad sprain.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Yes, we took him.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Yes, it looks like a really it looks like a
grade three sprain. Like it was so swollen, black and
blue blue, all the bruisings come out.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
But he's on crutches.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
He's like a newborn baby deer trying to learn how
to walk on crutches.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
They're not helpful. They just kind of feel like they've
become weapons.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
And is it wrapped up? Like can he swim? Yeah,
it's and stuff. Can he do anything?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Well, it's not in a cast or anything, but it's
wrapped up. But he's in a significant amount of pain.
And it just means I can do nothing. I can't
take them to flip out. I had all these things
locked in because two boys and a girl. I mean
that in itself is hard because I've got two different
genders kids who want to do completely different things.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Oh, they're hard enough as normal, right, Holidays, the last
thing you need is your six year old on day
one of the holidays becoming invalid.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah, literally, and just say that, I think so, and
just sits on the couch and he's so bored yes,
and I feel really sorry for him and the other
two kids.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Like we're so bored. I was like, invite a friend round.
I can't leave.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I can't even take you up to the shops or
take you out for lunch because old mate, he's sick.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
You can't leave him at home alone and you can't
take him anywhere.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Yeah, well, I mean I can, but it's just a punish.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Yeah, Macaulay Culkin was all right when they left him,
and he didn't he make traps.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
And I don't know if my kids in that advance.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Poor Kobe, and he's actually in constant pain.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
What about poor mom?
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Poor mom? Well did you give you should give Kobe
some of those pills you brought from that dodgy woman
online for your for your back pain. You know which
ones I don't from that woman who's not a doctor.
Just give him a few of those. He'll be right.
Just slide back and watch some movies all day, be
(06:46):
great fun.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
This is crisp page.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
And you turn on the news, Well, I know you don't.
I don't, and I know why mental health.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Exactly all bad.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
But I've scoured news services around the world to find
a couple of good news stories for you to bring
your faith in humanity. Let's take it around so easy.
I push a button here, it plays a random song.
That song's gonna tell us which country we're going to
for the story. Okay, so let's check it out America.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Hey, you know that one way?
Speaker 4 (07:24):
Well, ideally it would have been the bit where she said, Usa,
I'll start the story and then oh no, it's close.
Now we'll just have it.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
It's a party in the U. Say no party, No
party's happening over there.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Well, no, there is a big party happening over there.
Because a bunch of people got together to break a
world record for you know, flash mobs where they dress
up and just appear this want to be terrifying. A
group of horror movie fans in Boston smash the world
record for the most people dressed as Michael Myers from
Halloween in one place.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Did they just turn up like at a shopping center.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
I suppose there's some Facebook group with weird people where
they organize these things.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
That would be a Facebook group field.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
Of you know the mask I'm talking about Michael to
be guarded, the white thing.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
It's like the white mask, right, Yes, imagine just being
two and forty of them.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
Imagine if there was like one of them out of
there who turned up and he's like, yeah, baby wearing
a Bustin Power's mask, that would be I thought we
were addressing as Mike myas Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
I actually wish that happened to me too.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
We're too next. Oh yeah, this is the Netherlands. The
start of Jewel's song Intuition was the most Netherlands Holland's
music I could get shut up Netherlands. A local council
candidate in Rotendam in the Netherlands, one of the female
candidates who won, by the way, was accused of using
(08:52):
a fake AI photo on all her campaign gear. And
you get up these two photos and it does look
like a different woman. She claims a photo of her
it looks like about twenty years ago, and she's run
it through a filter because the quality wasn't high enough.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
One looks like a god, not even the same person.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Well, the people who voted for and elected her are
blowing up saying you lied. I mean, God forbid a
politician would lie before an election and just something different after.
But they've called for a re race or rerun the election.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
That's also so incredibly shallow of the people of Netherland.
Why they voted for her because she was pretty.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
She's shallow too, because she made herself look better. True
on the posters. But now they're going, oh, well, I
wouldn't have voted for him, I knew she looked like that.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Well, it's more like, if you're lying about your appearance,
what else are you gonna lie about?
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Would candidate's appearance affect your vote?
Speaker 3 (09:46):
No, not at all.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
No, I'm just wondering. Do you think it helped Albow
like get in the fact that he is gorgeous? Do
you think yes?
Speaker 3 (09:55):
I think that's exactly why he got elected.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
Do you think yeah?
Speaker 3 (09:58):
For sure?
Speaker 4 (09:58):
Keep in mind he did beat Peter Dutton. Yes, exactly.
Face haunts houses, so maybe it does. I don't know
where too next. And this story, as your art, is
just for you. I'm going to read you the headline
(10:19):
and you just stop me when you know you're interested
in the story.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
Shirtless Tom Hardy stop Yeah. Shirtless Tom Hardy displays his
vast collection of tattoos as he makes a rare appearance
with bikini clad wife on the beach. Check out the picture.
Here's the picture of Tom Hardy's tats. Now, that's a
lot of tattoos, had.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
That many tattoos. I enjoy that masculine, big.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Burly body as well. That's the thing.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
Your husband Ryan, the same sort of paunch and.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
The same sort of belly and the kind of pectori.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
He does have a bit of a beer gut.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Some other celebrities that have tattoos you might not know about.
Do you know, Scarlet your Hansen has a massive rose
and a lamb on her back.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
That's Ryan's tall path.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
She's got tattoos, or just so I can say it
on air, all over Scarlet your Hanson's back, there are
tattoos and one more quick stop It was right here
in Australia. It relates to the fuel crisis because some
Aussies are so fed up with fuel thieves that they
are doing booby trap jerry cans. Now, get this, So
(11:38):
tradees who are sick of having their stuff stolen off
the back of you its are filling up jerry cans
with things like cordial cordial power rate milk and leaving
them unattended on the back of their utes so that
people steal them and pour them into their car and
drive it and blow up their engine.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
I wonder what would happen if you poured milk into
your engine.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
It would affect the sinuses the engine.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
This is cris Page and Amy's ride.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Aims a twenty nine year old woman from Melbourne has
gotten fed up with the online dating scene. Says the
algorithm just keeps feeding her basically the same people over
and over. Go f boys, Yeah, yeah, hey, you'll like
this one got boring, so she set up a Google
form application to date her and has had an amazing response.
Over two hundred and sixty men jumped on and filled
(12:36):
in her very detailed questionnaire. This is Celeste and she's
explaining it online.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
What would you bring to nonmna's house? This was my
favorite question because reading all your answers were actually so stunning.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
My favorite question was I'd bring a.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
Toolbox because I know Nona will need something fixed. Yeah,
so he's obviously Ozzie. Do you have a criminal record?
There was five percent of you that said yes, so
that was a bit concerning. Eleven of you don't have
a driver's license.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
I mean with petral crisis today.
Speaker 6 (13:04):
That is true.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Okay, Now the most important part, which is where you
guys gave us your details, because me and my pa
are having the funniest time trying to contact Tom, who's
just put.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
Tom, which makes it art of the fine. Maybe he's
like Madonna, he's just Tom.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Well he hasn't left a number or an email.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
Yeah, but he's just Tom.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
That's given you. That's all the red flags I need.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
Very simple, Hey, celest Joan is on the line because
we've got a few questions here. Hey Celeste, Hey, celest.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Hi not for having me go, Oh my god, I
am so interested in this whole topic. And I love
that you have just taken matters into your own hands.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
Because you've asked the questions that matter. I'm guessing that
whatever the questions are on dating apps aren't the questions
that you want to answered before you go on a date, right.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah exactly?
Speaker 6 (13:53):
Yeah, like do they like cats or dogs? You know
what I mean? Like I'm not a cat's person, so
maybe don't even bother.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
And we just had a little listen to your grab
about people saying that they've got a criminal record, no license,
instant dismissal.
Speaker 6 (14:09):
Absolutely, are you joking? I'm not picking you up.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
Where hang on, You're not even going to ask them
what the criminal record is for No, no, but.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
There's no good criminal records.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
I have you asked about their height? Because I feel
like that's an important one.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
Do you know what?
Speaker 6 (14:28):
That's where I went wrong? And look, I wanted to
give the short kings.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
I've been screwed over by a short king. I had
really great banter. We went on a date after chatting
for weeks and weeks and he was a solid footshot.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Yeah, but you showed up. You said the dwarf had
no amazing personality.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
He wasn't a short statue person, Chris, he was just Yeah,
it was something.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
It's something that's important to me. I wanted a tallow.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
Are these all deal breakers? Celeste? So one of them
I saw? Are you a snorer?
Speaker 6 (15:01):
Oh that's a deal breaker? A come on, especially when
independent girls out here are protecting their peace and then
you you let man come into your world that's snores.
You know how much that's just going to ruin everything
for me?
Speaker 4 (15:15):
How do you know you don't snore? So let's like,
have you been with like a ton of guys and
they all said you didn't snore?
Speaker 6 (15:21):
Look, it's cute, it could be cute. I don't know
for a girl, we get away with things.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
So have you actually gone on any dates yet?
Speaker 6 (15:28):
So I have so the walking situation. I'll tell you
guys the first time I've shared this story. So he
arrived at the cafe early, right, and he was sad,
and I was confused because I was like, Wow, he's early.
This is amazing, Like the bar. The bar is in hell.
So someone arriving early is great. And we get to
the cafe and we're chatting and the band is great.
(15:51):
He's very cute, and I'm like, this is going so well.
And then he stands up to pay and I was like.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Oh, that's why he got there early, to put his
booster seat in.
Speaker 6 (16:02):
I reckon that was a strategy, and I support him
with it because obviously you just do a quick like
lean over to kiss someone cheek like you don't really
suffer height if you're already there.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Yes, so good on him.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
So let's I'm going to tell you what Amy said
when because she we talked about your story and heard
the audio. But then Amy looked up pictures of you
and Amy was sort of almost express, Oh she's really pretty.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
I said, you're an absolute babe, and you.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Went so why and I mean it in a nice way,
but you are your beautiful woman, twenty nine years old
in the city of Melbourne. Why can't you find a man?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Because?
Speaker 6 (16:38):
Oh, I'm sure if you opened this conversation up to
other girls in my age and there would be stories. Guys,
I think I'm not sure. Even on Hinge, it's just
becoming apparent that men are not interested in dating or
settling down, and it's still they're still looking to just
just chilly.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I feel like, just speaking on behalf of my single girlfriends,
they are struggling with the exact same situation, Like no
one is looking for any kind of commitment these days,
probably because there are all of these dating apps and
they kind of know that they don't have to settle
down anytime soon, especially for men, you know, they can
be forty and be dating a twenty five year old.
Speaker 6 (17:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
Have we've got an update on the number there? I've
got two hundred and sixty men applied to this on
my thing? Here has that gone up?
Speaker 6 (17:32):
I had to remove it? That was three days. I
was overwhelmed, Honestly, I was like, how do I go
through all these and actually give them the credit they
deserve because if you are filling it out and you
make it to the end, like for men and their attentions, man,
that's a pretty big deal.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
It's a lot of men to go through as well.
You're going to be like Bonnie Blue by the time
you finished dating on it.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Have you got definitely? Have you got some top runners?
Have you got like top tens.
Speaker 6 (17:55):
I've been out on three days and it was They're
lovely men, but it was pretty rough. I don't know.
I've taken a break. But so what happens is is
every there's an episode that will go live on my
Instagram every week with the date and essentially, because I'm
a comedy creator, I play my non No and my
Nona vets them. So it's like a walg intervention. So
(18:17):
if you do want to tune in, I am sharing
with my community so they can vote at the end
of this series for who they think I should pick today.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
Okay, So Celeste Joan on instagras where we find that.
Speaker 6 (18:30):
That's where you'll find it. Correct.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
I'm going to follow along.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
I am invested, celest Joan. We're going to follow you
and watch these videos. Maybe we can touch base again
when you've found the Roe one.
Speaker 6 (18:41):
Yes, how good. I'll get him on the show.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
Yes, excellent.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
This is Chris Page and Amy.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
You've been watching. I know you don't watch the news,
but during the week surely saw the space mission NASA.
We've gone back to the Moon.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Even you know this, right, I know that, Yes I do.
And look, don't come for me space. You can say
nerds don't want to be offensive.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
I just I want to understand the purpose.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
Yeah, because you were like you were like Lloyd in
Dumb and Dumber. When we got to work, you ran
in and said we've landed on the Moon.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
No, I did not. I did not see that because we.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
Didn't even land on the moon. We went up to
go around and we did like a lap around it.
It's the furthest human beings have ever been from planet Earth.
And they went around to take photos of the far side,
or the dark side of the Moon, as pink Floyd could.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
But again, so I'm just thinking about the costs, the
fuel that's being used, the resources that are being used,
and they're doing a hot lap around the Moon, which
is kind of cool but also.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
Pointless cool for them, cool for.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Them, And I love that there is a woman on
board now, is it?
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Obviously yes, I read a fact that said that last
time they went to the Moon. I know you don't
believe that anyone's actually landed on the Moon, but back
when they did it last a woman couldn't even apply
for a credit card. And now you've got a female
astronaut up there, and you know they're leading an entire
mission control center, which is pretty impressive, and like, yeah,
(20:21):
the girls.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Is that why the spaceship had its blinker on for
the first three thousand Oh are.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
You going to be No, No, it didn't.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
That was the female, That female astronaut would be a
far better driver than you, Chris.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
But was she complaining the whole time that space is
too cold and asking to borrow a male astronauts jumper?
Speaker 1 (20:43):
No, no, that you're throwing all these like sexists things out.
But I still think that in today's climate, with everything
that's going on in the world, I don't know if
the timing was a little bit off or what the
actual point was. Like, let's say they do they've gone
around to the dark side and they've snapped away some
little photos and whatnot. What exactly are they doing with those?
Speaker 4 (21:05):
Not sure it's a lot of money. I'll give you
a stat on that because you mentioned fuel. Yeah right,
And you'll love this statistic about the space mission because
I know you were very, very smart before any of
this fuel crisis. You went and invested in an enormous
he unda palisade and you've got the diesel model as well.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
And she's a thirsty girl, she's a thirsty guzzles that diesel.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
Yeah, it really plus dollars a leader diesel glug glug. Well,
the spaceship that the guys and girl were on used
six thousand liters of fuel a second while it was
taking off, So what's that Roughly a thousand cars a
(21:49):
second could have been filled up instead of these clowns
come around the other side of the Moon.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Exactly my point exactly.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
I'm just saying that where hear me out because I
know you make fun of me for being a conspiracy theorist,
but we're going, oh, this is the furthest that human
beings have ever bin from planet Earth because they flew
around the other side of the Moon, didn't even land
on it. You're telling me over fifty years ago, we
(22:19):
flew like pretty much that distance anyway, and landed and
walked on the moon and beamed to the picture's back.
But now it's like, in fifty years, that's how far
we've come. We can fly to the other side of
the moon. Didn't happen.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Even the landing on the Moon. What is it just
a ticking of the box to say, oh, look we
did it.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
At the time, it was beating Russia.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
It was like Cold.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
War, and they were yeah, no, but that's they wanted
to send Russia broke, so they faked the moon landing
to keep Russia wasting all their money on space.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
I don't think she was AI back then. I don't
know how they would have got that photo.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
Stanley Kubrick directed.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (22:57):
Look, it's all online if you just do your own research,
you know, on the internet and find out all sorts
of interesting things.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
This is Crispage and Amy to ride.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
So I was talking, I think a few weeks back
we discussed an article that I'd read about there are
two happiest kind of people in the world.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
Do you remember this?
Speaker 1 (23:20):
It was married men, married men and single women. Now
I added to that, I think it's single divorced women.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
I think it's women who know what they're not missing correct,
it's women who have been married and are now single.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
And I've actually, just in the last week, I have
got two stories that really back up that theory.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
So the thinking is, yeah, happiest women are single, and
but men are actually only happy with their wife. And
you said useless without Georgie.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
You even said, even though you've got your separate rooms
and whatnot, you would still be happier being married than
you would being single.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
I'm being on your own.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Forty three years old and single seek like this to
work with haha.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Whereas so I've got two little stories. Obviously, my mum
and dad. They've been married for almost fifty years.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Going I met them at your fortieth grade, you did.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Yes, They're very sweet, aren't they.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
But when I tell you my dad is like a
love sick puppy for my mom, it's very cute. They've
got quite a traditional marriage in the sense where my
dad was very much the bread winner and the man
of the house and my mom, you know, didn't work
for twelve years and reared the children.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
And I always used to think that my dad was very.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Much the dominant personality in the marriage, but as I've
gotten older, I realized that my dad is nothing without
my mom.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
So when you're a kid, it's all like wait till
your father gets home, and now you go, oh, he's
a cuck. He's in real life.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Yeah, he played the bad cop and bad cop good
cop back when I was a child, and he was terrifying.
But my mom has actually gone away over to the
UK to visit her mum and without my dad. And
when I I tell you, they do everything together. So
my mom's the person who's got lots of hobbies. So
she plays golf and she goes for walks with her friends.
(25:17):
She's got a book club. And my dad just sits
at home and waits for her, and he loves to
prepare meals, loving meals for her and sit with They
sit out out the back and they share a bottle
of wine and they talk. And anyway, my mom's gone away.
She's gone away for a month, and she said, can
you please just keep an eye on your dad, because.
Speaker 4 (25:34):
It has to be a month, doesn't People of a
certain age will not get on that flight to London
unless they're staying for like a month plus like thirty
hour flights once you're over about sixty, Yeah, you just
won't do it.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
So I sent him a message the other day. I said, morning, Dad,
how are you going?
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Night six without WiFi? Have you heard from her? How
you feeling his message?
Speaker 6 (25:56):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Amy, Your message above is really appreciated. Thank you, darling.
I arrived home yesterday at five point thirty unpacked. Ed's
gone on about his achilles and stuff, and he said,
it's been really quiet down here without your mum. I
reach out often to Mom's side of the bed, and
I've had a few quiet words with her. On a
positive note, though your mum is thriving.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
She loves visiting her parents, Sorry her mom. They do
enjoy each other's company.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Makes this old goat very happy, the same as when
I see you with your mom.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
She loves you so.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Much, just as much as I love her. Twenty seven
days to go.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
And also, do you know anything about this new age
verification thing online? These websites that you used to Now
they want you to prove your age? Yeah, Like, is
it your dad?
Speaker 3 (26:49):
I don't get it?
Speaker 4 (26:49):
So I have it. Did your dad ask? Did he
say anything about websites he goes to that you used
to be able to slog into and now they're like,
what's this age verification. Do you know how I do that?
Speaker 5 (27:03):
Amy?
Speaker 1 (27:03):
He does Google, doesn't frequent any of those kind of
sites that you go to pig. But he's a sad,
little love sick puppy, just waiting.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
For his beloved wife to come home. So there's that theory.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
And then I recently have discovered that a girlfriend of mine,
married with two kids, has recently separated from her husband,
and she lives in another state, so I was kind
of unaware. I know that they've been going to counseling
and kind of trying to work on their marriage. And
then we've got a big group message saying that X
(27:38):
and I had separated, and I tried to call her.
She sent me a voice not back. She was off
with the kids somewhere, and I said, you know, I
know you've been really working on the marriage. I just
want to make sure you know, check in and see
that you're okay. And all she wrote back was I
am fucking thriving. She said, honestly, the last twelve months
(28:00):
has been so hard.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
She wears this thing called a loop.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
It's like a fitness thing on tracks your heart rate
and your stress levels and every stress.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
And you go, what was I doing it for o'clock, well.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Literally for the last She sent me a screenshot of
her loop results and for the last twelve months it
goes bad, poor, good, great.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
And she's been bad for like nine months.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Red red, red, she's been stressed out, bad mood, bad
stress levels all anyway, XS moved out three months ago,
and she is peaking in the green green green, great
great great great, And it's so true.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
She's like, I have all this free time.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
I have no expectation on him to do certain things
or help me with certain things. I just get it done.
I don't rely, I don't expect him to. She is
living her best life. And I've got a few girlfriends
who are separated from their husbands, and they've all said
it's the best thing that's ever happened to them.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
So it just vindicates this story.
Speaker 4 (28:59):
You know, you should have told my wife, don't listen.
Don't listen to this second, George, make sure it's not on,
because it's obviously.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
If you've got a great husband or a great partner
this story.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
But what you're saying is, if God forbid something happened
to your mom, your dad would not co restless. But
if something God forbid did happen to your dad? Your
mom would be like, I have to change my tea
time on Tuesday funeral.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
My mom would be like, oh, that's sad.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
But also, I can have a bowl of porridge for
dinner now, and I can hit.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
The links three times a week.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Now what links?
Speaker 4 (29:39):
Golf?
Speaker 6 (29:39):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Yes, okay, sorry it is golf terminology and clearly not
a golfer.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Yeah. So I just think it kind of.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Brings a little truth to that whole article about the
two happiest people in the world.
Speaker 4 (29:52):
We all try to be happy, we do. I was
actually taking my pills the other day. I'm at that point,
I'm at that age where I've got the pill organized
on this man, and I was looking at this handful
of pills, going, jeez, that's seems like a lot of
pills I have every day. And I took them and
I had that Pharrell song in my head and I
was singing, happened No, I was gone because I'm normal,
(30:13):
just trying to be normal.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Whatever works. Page, That's what I say.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Okay, this is Crisp Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
Before we go on a Saturday, we like to self
reflect and see what we've nailed and failed this week.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Nailed it for failed it ladies.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
First, lady, let's go positive first. What have you nailed this? Oh?
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Okay, I have really done a bit of a deep
dive into my sleep and I'm really interested to know
how well I'm sleeping at night. So I've started wearing
my Apple Watch, and turns out I'm actually a great sleeper.
I've also brought my bedtime forward, so I'm trying to
go to bed now at ten pm.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
It used to be midnight.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
My kids weep me up at six, which is obviously
not adequate amount of sleep. But my sleep score is
like ninety seven, so I feel like if I keep
it up, I might become a genius.
Speaker 4 (31:07):
That's great, you know what, There is nothing more interesting
than other people's sleep.
Speaker 5 (31:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
I love hearing about.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
It, I know, and you should take note because you
stay up far too late.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
I get messages off Paigey at like two am.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
Sometimes at least I don't come in and waste air
time telling you about my sleep.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
You asked for my nailed and I'm really impressed.
Speaker 4 (31:30):
With myself now that well, And depending on where you
are in Australia as well, Daylight Savings does affect people
as well. Yeah, like my dyslexic friend.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
We've heard you, Joe, No, come.
Speaker 4 (31:41):
On every year, come on twenty once a year.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Sure.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
So I walked in on my dyslexic friend last weekend.
He was rubbing boot polish all over his penis. So, no,
you're idiot. You meant to turn your clock back anyway?
That's mine nailed it. Sure, what have you failed? Oh?
Speaker 3 (32:02):
I failed as a doozy.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
I have given my boys back the iPad, and when
I tell you, it has absolutely backfired him face Within
a few hours, literally a few hours, they were brawling
in a far more aggressive manner, begging for more time
because I set up a time limit and I have
just I feel like giving myself an uppercut. Huge fail
(32:26):
on my behalf. They're going again after school.
Speaker 4 (32:27):
Holler, and all the things on it, roadblocks that they do,
they're all designed to be addictive. This big court case
going on in America, it's the first of its kind.
Facebook are being sued by this girl, and it's because
she's going to prove that they design Facebook to make
her addicted.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Wow, I mean you could do that. Any app TikTok's
are worse.
Speaker 4 (32:48):
Yes, any of those. But she says this will be
like a litmus test for future cases because she's suing
Facebook for Oh wow, that's see what happens.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
What's John alden.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
Feld nailed it. I've got a recliner in the living.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Room now, Oh that's so old man.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
Yeah, I know this is about as interesting as your Yeah. No, no,
it was in Oscar's room for you know, it was
George's breastfeeding chair and everything for years. Now it's in
front of the big TV. And I'll tell you what.
Once you go recliner, you never go. You can't sit
on a normal couch again. It's just terrific.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
But that's a real eyesore in your lounger.
Speaker 4 (33:23):
It is, my god, and it's Dad's chair as well.
Now get off Dad's chair. I get that thing now
where men have their chair, Yeah yeah, got it?
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Usually in a man cave though.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
Yeah, now that I failed that. I took Oscar to
holiday camp you know at school. Yeah the other day.
Didn't take a backpack or water bottle or lunch. What,
just took him.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
There here go feed him as well?
Speaker 4 (33:51):
Well, yeah, he'd been to another camp the day before.
They gave him lunch, so I just showed up and
went here go, and they had to ring me and go.
He's got nothing.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Why are your kids going to school camps when you're
at home.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
I'm a bit because I'm a busy and important man.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
Because of all the guard you're doing.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
Yeah, sure, sure, they get in the way.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
Great.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
Look it's free. It's best for everyone. It's interesting to
everybody's mental health. Sure that they go to holiday care.
All right, we are out of here, back tomorrow at
eight am. I hope you can join us then.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Yeah, we'll see you tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (34:27):
Enjoy the rest of your Saturday.
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