May 9, 2026 • 30 mins
Amy Gerard gets brutally honest this episode about the reality of modern marriage, parenting stress and the emotional load so many women carry every day. From juggling kids and relationships to feeling mentally exhausted trying to keep everything together.
On this episode of the Chris & Amy Podcast, Amy and Chris dive into parenting chaos, relationship pressures, family life and the everyday moments that quickly spiral into bigger conversations. There’s honest marriage talk, funny parenting stories, relatable mum moments and the kind of real-life chat listeners love sharing with friends.
⏱️ Chapters
00:00 – Amy Gerard Opens Up About Modern Marriage
03:50 – Parenting Stress & The Mental Load
08:40 – Family Life Chaos & Mum Burnout
14:15 – Relationship Realities Couples Understand
19:30 – The Story That Sparked Debate
25:10 – Chris & Amy’s Honest Conversation
30:45 – Final Thoughts & Weekend Wrap
🔗 Hosts
Amy Gerard
🌐 www.amygerard.com.au
📸 @amy.gerard
Chris Page
📸 @chris_page83
Executive Producer – Mathew Eggleston
📧 matheweggleston@arn.com.au
📸 @eggoau on Instagram
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I Heart Podcasts, hear more, kiss podcasts, playlists and listen
live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
School.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Rag, Everybody's amdo, It's God Feel And this is Chris
and Amy in the morning.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Kiss well, good morning everyone. Happy Sunday. Happy Sunday, Paige,
Amy Gerard. Yes, Happy Mother's Day.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Thank you to you.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Thank you for being here with us on the radio.
I say thank you from Australia.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
By the way, right, so selfless, so selfless.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
What you do for this country. I know it was
my problem the other week on Anzac Day. You know
when they say a minute silence, think about the ANZACs.
All I could think about is everything you do for
this country.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
I'm hin a bit of sarcasm.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
The last bit was sarcastic. You're so busy right, your
life on Instagram exhausts just watching it, looking at it.
But you keep all those balls in the air. You're
you're great at handling balls. You keep them in You're
juggling all the time. You can. I drop a lot
of balls, yeah, everyone does, though you mainly you keep
the ones that matter up. You've got three kids. You're
(01:32):
such a great mum.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Oh, thank you, and well, happy mothers do thank you, pig.
Did the producers put you up for that? No, that
just came straight from the heart.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
That's from the heart. Thank you. You're one of the
people that I look at. You know, when you look
at there's other parents you look at and you go, yeah,
I want to take some of their stuff and do that.
Not everything the language you use around your children.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Your language around my children, you do. What have I
You've never even seen me around my kids.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
We did a meeting for this show on Zoom on
a Callah. I was in the car with my son Oscar,
and you were in the car with your son Kobe.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
We ended the call and Oscar goes, wow, Amy Gerard
says a lot, and you're your six year old was
sitting next.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
All right, well, listen, we you know, free speech in
our household. I am allowed to say the F word.
My children are not. I'm trying something different because my
parents never ever, ever swore. Ever, Still to this day,
I think I've ever heard them say the F word.
And I was absolutely forbidden to swear. And now I
am a pirate swearing, absolute tyrant. So I'm trying to
(02:50):
reverse it and be a little bit more lax with
the swearing.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Look if you've heard it once? Yes, you know the word?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:57):
You know any of your kids on the sea word?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, never, they have never said the sea word. I
would not be okay with that word.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
My boys are six and eight. We haven't hit that
one yet.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
No, have you ever dropped that in front of them?
Speaker 3 (03:07):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Yeah, no me neither. After you've jobbed everything else.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yeah, Happy Mother's Day.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah, Happy Mother's Day. All the wonderful mom's listening.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
And you, Amy Girard, thanks for hanging out with little
old men anytime. I'm probably more fun than your kids.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
This is Chris Page and Amyride.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
A very good morning to all the mums around Australia,
even the pretty bad ones. Just happy Mother's Day. This
is your day. And even if you haven't covered yourself
in glory, it's your.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Day covered yourself in glory.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Well, you know as a mum. Like if you're one
of those mums that like leave the kids in the
car at the casino, you're still a mom. It's still
my happy Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
And you know what, being a mum is the hardest
job on earth, So it's very rewarding, but hardest job
on earth.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Happy Mother's day, Happy Mother's Day. I hope you hit
the jackpot at the casino today because you deserve it.
Let's see what the mums of Australia are talking about.
Where were we?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Yeah, the Facebook Mum's group. What is going on this week?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
What's the big issue in the Facebook mums groups?
Speaker 1 (04:15):
All right, mums, I think I've cracked Mother's Day, or
at least made it work for me. Every single year
my husband forgets and I end up organizing my own
day while still making brecky and wiping noses and butts.
So last year I drew a line in the sand.
I said, if you forget again, I'm taking one full
day every month for the rest of the year to
go on solo staycations. Yes, yeah, no kids, no responsibilities,
(04:42):
just me. Well guess what they forgot again today? So
I've just started booking my twelve little getaways like the calm,
petty queen that I am. Has anyone else cracked a
genius way to make Mother's Day half decent? What a legend?
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Big issue? Okay, I get that there are a lot
of deadbeat guys out there who don't do a lot
for Mother's Day. How do you forget it, like every
ad like you told me, like Maya, David Jones, Kmart,
I mean even like bws so like get something from
get her a bottle of vodka. It's you know, every
ads like, hey, it's Mother's Day. How do you avoid it?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
You can't avoid it. So it tells me that this
husband is just incredibly complacent, probably a little bit lazy.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Probably deliberately callous.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yeah, and I think the best part about this story
is that I thought she was just going to say
that she was taking a solo stay k on Mother's
Day each year. But she's gone one better, and she
said every month for the next twelve months, she's booking
herself a solo stay k. And that is a round
of applause from me. That is such a great idea.
(05:51):
I hope anyone listening takes some notes out of this
queen's notebook and does the same.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
And knowing her deadbeat husband, which I think I do, well,
I know how he thinks, because yeah, yeah, of a feather, yep, yeah,
I think you know he's where my head went. Okay,
I mean yeah, okay, every month she's gonna go away
on a vacation. Yeah, can you do it on your period.
You No, that's like two days less. I have to
(06:19):
be around you on that.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
The deadbeat husband doesn't get to choose when she's going away.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
I'm just saying the period to be a good reminder
of oh hey, it's time for my trip away.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
No, you don't get to dictate when she's going away. No,
that is a really fantastic outcome for her every month.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
You know, whatever, he'll remember next time.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
I reckon he might too. Yeah, and I like that
she has booked all twelve in on the same day, Like,
not just gone all right, Well, I'll book my first
stay k in and then she might book the next
one and then you know, eventually she'll forget about it. No,
she's gone right, I'm booking all twelve in right now.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
I mean she paid that, like she paid from an
eving or is it the booking dot com will hold
your reservation you can pay it the property.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Who cares? She's got them all locked in? Yeah, good honor,
well played. That's a great mother's day gifts.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Such fun with her boyfriends.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yeah, I hope she does have one too.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
She probably does. God, the husband does sound a bit
I've been doing Nothing's a bit.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah forgetting please big issue.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Happy Mother's Day everyone. That's the Facebook Mum's group.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
This is Crisp Page and Amy Gerid.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Just for all the partners out there, maybe don't suggest
this on Mother's Day, but for anyone who didn't get
a present and you're looking for maybe maybe some sort
of cosmetic enhancement, there's a new fat at the moment.
It's called a ghost lift. Have you ever heard of
a ghost lift?
Speaker 3 (07:40):
A ghost lift?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Yep? Good, so neither had I. But it's basically this
ascetic trend where your cosmetic enhancement isn't sourced from a laboratory,
so it's not fake or synthetic or something that doesn't
belong in your body. It's actually from a human donor
a dead volt, a dead person, so somebody has died
(08:03):
and you know, like organ donors, they donate their hearts
or their livers or their kidneys and stuff. Yeah, what
you can who now is you can actually remove fat
from a dead person's body, and you can use said
fat to enhance your breasts. Women are using it to
plump up their cheeks instead of filler. A popular one
(08:24):
is yeah, a popular ones. Maybe that's what I should
get I need a bum my bum is inside me,
so I could do with a fake BBL And instead
of getting those you know, synthetic implants.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
You get injected with a corpse.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
So disturbing it really does. But then when you think
about it, you know, you're in a car accident, you
lose a lot of blood. You will take somebody else's blood.
My parents, my whole family are blood donors. You don't
think twice about taking somebody else's blood.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
But because the alternative is bleeding to death, yeah, I
mean this is a bit different because this is someone
who just wants there.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Well, it's cosmetics, so it's a little vain and whatnot,
But I mean what cosmetic surgery isn't And at the
end of the day, if it makes the person happy,
then I'm all for it.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Honest. I'm an organ donor. I've got donor on my
driver's license. If something happens to me, then yep, it's
all yours. You probably don't want the liver, everything else
is yours. And because I'm happy to save lives, I
don't want my ass pumped out and fed into some
Kardashian wanna bee.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Hey, you carcked it tomorrow. You wouldn't give me your
ass fat.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
I give it to you, okay, but not some random
and that is there.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
It's really weird when you think about it. But I
don't know you're going in the ground or you're gonna
get set on fire anyway, so why not hand it over?
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Remember Fight Club they made the really expensive soap because
they went into they climbed into the back of LiPo
suction clinics at night and went through the bins and
got up the bags of fat that they'd used from liposuction,
and they made soap out of it in the movie
Fight Club and sold it to and apparently it makes
the best soap, and the women were like, oh my god,
(10:08):
where do you make this soap? It's amazing And they
sell it for one hundred dollars a bar.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Oh my god, it's because it's human. I don't know
what it is, it, says he. Many women who request
this procedure simply do not have enough fat stores to
safely harvest insufficient volume to make a difference. This is
where off the shelf injectables made from donor human fat
come in.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
I think you need to be a different kind of
donor when you died to have consent for this, Like, okay,
if you can give my heart to someone and they
can live on, great. If you want my sweet sweet
fat that I've been working on building up lately, then
you have to pay for it. And do you pay
by the pound?
Speaker 5 (10:44):
Like?
Speaker 3 (10:44):
What if John Candy had signed off on his fat,
Like surely he gets his family would get more money
for his fat, a lot of it.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I don't think that. It's like when you're a donor.
The person who you're married to or your beneficiaries, they're
not getting paid for your organs.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
I don't know at fat you're doing a good thing.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Not anyway, It's called cadava java fat. Look into it
if you want a BBL that's a bit more natural.
Ye cadaver ghost.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
List, Okay, that's a recommendation. One question, would you have
a dead person's fat injected into your body?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
No?
Speaker 3 (11:20):
No, then shut up.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
This is Chris Page and Amy to Ride.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
We've mentioned now it's more today than we.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Should call our moms.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
My mom doesn't want it. My mum wants nothing to
do with kiss FM. She reads the news, she goes
to you. Yeah, that's your problem. Okay, But during the week,
I spoke to a dribbling idiot on the phone. His
name's Ryan, and I said, look, we should do something
nice for your wife on Mother's Day. He said, is
(11:52):
it Mother's Day Sunday?
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Ryan?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
He gave him the heads up.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
I reminded him you're welcome, and I said, look, let's
get some message from Amy's beautiful kids. Yeah, because you've
got three from memory and three we've done this, so
Ryan has on your back recorded Mother's Day messages from
your kids. Oh stop, yeah, Now, I know they've got names,
but the ones I've got here, it's just labeled Kid one.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I'll be able to tell you who they are.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
All right, Well, let's hear from kid one. No idea.
Here we go.
Speaker 5 (12:26):
I'm sorry, mum that you had a bad Mother's Day
last year, and I want to make it the best
Mother's Day you could ever have this year. Just so
you know, I love you so so much and you're
the best mom a child could ever have.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Love you. Oh so, Sweety's husky voice, that was Bobby.
That was my middle child.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Eight years old. Yeah, that's nice.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
It's so cute.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
I forgot you had a terrible Mother's Day last year.
We spoke about it. You stormed out.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
I did. I grabbed the keys and I just left. Yeah,
I didn't actually tell anyone where I was going. It's
quite dramatic when I look back, but my feelings were
warranted you this much. I did a little rant on socials.
I pulled out a little tiny violin and I strummed
it for myself. But when I tell you the amount
of d ms from other moms who could just relate,
(13:21):
it was disappointing. To be honest, You're lucky.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
You've got a radio co host who cares.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
What would I do about you?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Do you want to hear from kid number two? Whoever
it is? Here we go. I love you so much, Koby.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
You are so beautiful, and I love your snoggos and
your bactacles and your kisses.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Love you.
Speaker 5 (13:47):
I hope I was the best Moses's Day ever. I
love you so much. I love you, kiss kiss.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I think there might have been some prompting there from Ryan.
Lots of love us. That was very sweet.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Do you ever get this? I know because you're a
big fan of the movie Billy Madison, Save as me.
When your six year old is like trying to get
a sentence out because today, Junior, do you ever? Oscar's
like trying to go and I want to go to today, Junior.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Literally, I do it all the time.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
I did. He made me think of that. Yeah, kid
number three, I'm going to my daughter, ten year.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Old Charlie home, Mama, Happy Mother's Day. I hope you
have the best Mother's Day ever. Yeah, I've come so
far and I'm so grateful that I have a wonderful
mom like you. And I know I might not say
it all the time. Bye, I love you so much
and I am so grateful that you're my mom.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Bye bye. Oh that was really nice. I feel like
that's all I want from other's day? Is it just
some recognition from my children? Maybe my husband put them up,
but they are pretty sweet kids. Lots of our love.
Hees always thrown around in our household. But that was
really beautiful.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Now we've got the camera on and you can go
to our Instagram, Kiss Instagram and watch back amy listening
to those because we've got a facial recognition expert watching
it live to determine who is your favorite based on
your facial reactions and ticks.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
When not voices come up, the favorite child gets thrown
around a lot in my household. Yes, yeah, I'm not
saying who everyone thinks it is.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
I've been handed the verdict already by It's just because
she's a girl.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
All right.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
This is Chris Page and Amy.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
I wanted to do a little something for you for
Mother's stuff. But what would be really special for Amy?
And I know there's a song that I don't cry
when I play it, but there's a song that I think, well,
I know it's one of your favorite songs, and it's
a really beautiful song. And I thought it's Mother's Day,
we shill play a little bit.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Of it just kay?
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
It makes me think of my children.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
This is they were conceived.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
It makes me think of my children, all the selfless
work I've.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Done this song and maybe some grinding and quirking might
have preceded.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Maybe con Yeah, probably how they arrived for sure, a.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Bit of an old one though it's still a great song.
But that'd be Mother's Day. Tell me what do you
want today? Speak for all the mums?
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Okay, I'll tell you what I don't want. I don't
want to do a load of washing, Okay, I don't
want to unstack the dishwasher. I most certainly don't want
to be refereeing sibling fights, no mma fighting. I don't
want to pick up the cushions and put them back
on the lounge twenty times.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
Why do they take the cushions off the couch?
Speaker 1 (16:48):
And I don't know, but just you know what, leave
them on the couch for Mother's Day. Just don't take
the cushions off. And I don't want to cook dinner.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Yeah, that's it, really okay dinner. Keep the house tidy
and with the washing, get a load away.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Get a load of washing away, yep, yep.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Nice and early. Yeah, first thing in the morning.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Take all the household responsibilities off mum's hands.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Okay, that's an easy one. Doesn't cost you a santai. Yeah,
that's my language.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
This is cris Page and Amy to ride.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
There's a bit of pressure on us, poor men, to
find the right gift.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
It's so hard done by.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Have we stuff it up a lot? Yes?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
You do.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
If you've had a shocking Mother's Day gift, you can
tell us about on thirteen one oh sixty five if
you like.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Have you got any going to go berserk?
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Yeah? Don't ring with socks?
Speaker 1 (17:35):
I know.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Oh, No, that's a Dad's Day socks. What's the crappy
Mother's Day thing?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
My girlfriend got a hot water bottle last year.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Oh, hell lovely, that'll make a nice and cozy in bed.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Hang on. He got her a hot water bottle because
she had period cramps, and she was like, are you
actually kidding? Like you could have bought this for me
any other month. I've been having my period for fifteen years,
but you've waited for Mother's Day to go to the
chemist and pick me up a hot water bottle.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
They're also incredibly dangerous. Do you know the rates people
scolding themselves on boiling whine?
Speaker 1 (18:07):
I do love an incredible hot hot water bottle.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Yeah, but filling them up there and they burst their
cheap rubber from China just.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
In fluffy toweling.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Now, boiling water will go through that, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
One of my other girlfriend's got a vacuum one year.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Well, yeah, okay, Dyson.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
It was a Dyson and that helps a bit. Listen,
it doesn't. Don't buy a woman a cleaning product on
Mother's Day. That could not be a firmer slub in
the face.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I was trying to think of an argument against that,
and I can't.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
If the woman really wanted it and she bought it
for herself, I have no stress or qualms with that.
If the man has gone out to purchase that and
gifted it to her on Mother's Day, I'd be throwing
an upper.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Cut, Emily on thirty six five. Here we go, this
is this could just be the beginning, Emily. Have you
gotten something really shit for Mother's Day?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Get it off here?
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (19:04):
I have. This was actually last year. Now I'm a
mum to a three year old sos. Important part of
my day is my caffeine in the morning.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Yes, And I don't know.
Speaker 6 (19:13):
If you know, when you have like a fancy coffee machine,
you need to de scale it here and there otherwise
it gets a bit cunky and your coffee doesn't taste good.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yes.
Speaker 6 (19:20):
So for Mother's Day, my husband decided to buy me
de scaler tablets for my coffee machine.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
De scaler tablets those are tablets that you put in
and they kind of dissolve and do a bit of
a dip clean. Yeah, like a just a clean basically
like basically like dish washing tablets, but for your coffee. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (19:40):
And the worst part is he didn't even do it
for me, like I still had to do it.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
He's like, here's the dish washing tablets for your coffee machine.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
He didn't even get you any pods al and he
didn't even get you any of the George Clooney pods
and go oho, here you go hazel nuts or like.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Some Jensen nice mugs or anything for you to have.
What a prick.
Speaker 6 (19:57):
Honestly, he's lucky.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
I love him so lucky. I don't know.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Is he still alive, barely holding on by a thread.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
He's still with it well as a mum to a
three year old Emily happy mother, Love you, thank you, Yeah,
tell you another mam. I need to speak today. It's
my wife, Yes you do. It's her birthday as well
today and.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
So unlucky for Georgie. You need to blow it out
the park with a huge gift.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Georgie's married to me. She was born cursed with bad
don't worry about it.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
This is Crisp Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
You're a great mum, Amy jerideg and the kids looked
aufty this morning.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
They did. That's very kind to me.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Are you in bed eater?
Speaker 1 (20:42):
I'm actually not. I actually hate eating in bed. It's disgusting,
it's discussing, and I don't like lying in crumbs afterwards. Yeah,
so they did try and bring me a piece of
toast and I was like, take it downstairs.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Yeah, get out, get out. We were talking about terrible
Mother's Day gifts, and I have the double whammy today
of my wife Georgie. It's Mother's Day and it's her
birthday today.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
May have you blown it out the park for her?
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Well, I left early this morning to come in here,
so we haven't done any Okay, I forgot to say anything.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Oh my god, you didn't even say happy birthday.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
I was up. I hadn't know by coffee I was
walking out the door. A bit of a zombie.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Sounds like a lot of excuses, a.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Lot of excuse. I'll ring her and say happy birthday,
because at least we can do that.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Hello.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Oh h there, how are you going? You're on the air.
What's your language?
Speaker 6 (21:38):
I normally swear at you when you call me hi,
I mean, how are you?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
I'm good? Thank you? Happy birthday? Oh, thank you so much.
I'm jumping in before your husband over here. And happy
mother's day.
Speaker 6 (21:51):
Oh my gosh, lucky me having the same day for Georgie.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I was just saying to Amy, I didn't say anything
this morning because I wanted to do it on the radio.
Speaker 6 (22:01):
I wanted to wow, why you didn't say anything when
you left me with your children who were being vile
by the way, that's why you didn't. Okay, good to know.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Well, nice to hear it from Amy birth Yes, sir, wait,
so Georgie was actually up. Sounds like the whole house
was up, and.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
You used to the whole house is up at about
five to fifteen.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
And you still just couldn't say any nice.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
I wanted to do it on the radio. I wanted
all of Australia to hear my love.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
All right, we'll go. The floor is yours pagey.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
Okay, Georgie, Happy birthday and happy Mother's Day. Thank you
for being my rock and the rock of our family
and holding it all together, and for sticking with me
through better and all through worse and thro through sickness
more so than in health. Just thank you and everything.
(22:52):
You are such a great mum. I told Amy the
same thing that I think you are both terrific mothers.
But yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
That was like a Richard Mercer love song dedication?
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Was it? I loved when the Love God used to
read out dedications for people in jail. You go and
this for Marie done in golden Yes, it's every breath
you take by the police. Creepy.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
How is the rest of your day panning out? Georgie?
Has Paigey mentioned that he's got anything special in store?
And he surprises as he told you to be ready
by a certain time. None of that.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
No.
Speaker 6 (23:29):
When I woke him this morning with a cup of coffee,
which is how I wake him every day.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
She has been up with our children earlier.
Speaker 6 (23:36):
That is literally how I wake him, and I say,
you're running late.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
For work, hurry up? This woman is no.
Speaker 6 (23:41):
He didn't say anything.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Oh, you've obviously got something.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Actually I told you earlier in the show what I've got.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I actually do know you're going to go through with that.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
I'm I'm going to do it now. You haven't been
listening this morning.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Have you. I don't have time to listen.
Speaker 6 (23:57):
I'm with your children.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
She's with the children on Mother's Day, wrangling the two boys.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Hey, you keep this afternoon free. I've got something special
for you.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Okay, good, because I want two presents A birth day
and a mother's Day, and as nice as your message was,
that better not be one of the.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Pressure sort of. Dori. It's it's good.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
He's got to come in.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
I'm going to take in a few stops on the
way home. Okay, Happy Mother's Day, Happy birthday.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Thank you very much, Love you guys.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
To christ and Amy. And do you see what I
have to put up with?
Speaker 1 (24:30):
I see what she has to put up with.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
She's a nightmare you honestly.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
You lying in bed and she wakes you up on
Mother's Day with a cup of coffee.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Yeah, I know. I wanted to sleep a few more minutes.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
This is Chris Page and Amy to ride.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
We like to get some things off our chest before
we finish. Apparently it's healthy to not bottle things up. Amen,
So we do the airing of grievances today. It's the
Mother's Day edition.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
Air problems with your people.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Okay, this has backfight in the past because we ended
up more aggravated than when we started, because it's kind
of snowballed.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
But well, yes, but I also think it's healthy. We're
going to chat about it, right.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
You're the mom, so.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
And it is Mother's Day, so here's one of my
little grievances. I feel like on Mother's Day I shouldn't
have to be paying for the Mother's Day stall gifts
that I firstly don't even want. But secondly, every single
year when my kids there's always a Mother's Day stall
(25:34):
at the school. I don't want anything from there, but
I you know, I want to support the school, and
my kids like to do a little shop. But who
do you think they come and ask for money? Because
it's not Ryan.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Well, Ryan leaves early for work, and they, you know, Larry,
they would think to ask you for money, probably in
the car on the way to school. They'd go, can
we go, oh by the way.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
No, no, no. They had been asking me all week, and
even Ryan was like, guys, guys, you cannot ask your
mom for money for Mother's Day gifts for her come
to me.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Don't worry. They do it for Father's Day as well.
My kid's got me this like shower, like a nice
like a fancy little bit of a body wash shower
jel sort of thing that it smelt like a urinal cake.
I know, but you get where you're pay.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
For, yes, Okay. Anyway, I also have a real issue
and I think I mentioned it previously with the breakfast
in bed. Like Whilst I think it's really cute, I
actually don't want to eat breakfast in bed.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
It's disgusting.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
I don't want crumbs in my bed. And so you
bringing me breakfast in bed very cute, very endearing, but
also no, because all that happens is I then have
to clean the bed.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Do you know how bad a veg you might staying
on a white sheet looks.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I actually do, because last year that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
The raspberry jams not much better. Okay, mine, I know
I'm not a mum, but I do have some Mother's
Day grievances.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Oh wow, it must be really tough for you on
Mother's Day. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
The ads where they show the kids running into mum
and dad on Mother's Day. It's in a perfect bedroom
and the mum's in a beautiful sat nice and with
a makeup and haird No morning bread, no, no, the
kids running in a beautiful breakfast and husband's there is
a perfect little family. Stop making families perfect in it.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
No one looks like that.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
We know it.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Yeah, we know it's all fake. We want realistic, relatable content.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
How much to greeting cards used to cost. This is
my other grievance, and it's five.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Dollars ninety five, six dollars ninety five.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
No, now have you lately You buy a card and
go up and it's like nine to ninety five, ten
ninety I've won eleven dollars for a car.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
I bought a bridle shower card the other day and
it was eleven dollars ninety five. The minute you put
anything pregnancy, baby related or wedding related.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Boom through the roof or Mother's Day related.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
I'll tell you my other favorite one is a few
years ago, and granted our kids were quite young at
the time, but I think Ryan had tried to do
the right thing, and he tried to get the kids
to do a painting for me, and he was trying
to get them to help with making me pancakes in
the morning, and he said, you know, stay up here
in bed, and I've got the whole day covered. But
when Ryan is to do something and keep his cool
(28:11):
and the kids were all feral, what ended up happening
was I could just hear Ryan absolutely losing it, and
then before you know, I have three crying children and
so on the one day that I meant to be relaxing,
what I'm doing is actually putting out spot fires because
he's gotten stressed, because he's a bit of a stress head.
And then he set all my kids off, so there
(28:33):
was no relaxing. It was just me putting out spotfires left,
right and center.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
Got another mother related one. Oh yeah, it affects all
parents really, And look my grievances with disabled people and
no hear me out. It's when people with disability stickers
on their car park in the parents with PRAMS spot. Okay,
and you go, well, I guess you're entitled to, but
you got your spots. I've never parked in a handicap
(28:58):
spot in my life and I never will.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
But I don't believe that.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
But you've got your own spots. You get the handicap
spots are better spots than the parents.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
There's only ever two disabled spots, and what if they're
both taken?
Speaker 3 (29:08):
There's always he.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
If the person with a disability has a child, she
is entitled to park in the parenting spot. Yeah, do
you ever think about that?
Speaker 3 (29:18):
If you're a disabled mother with kids, you can just
drive into the shop front window. Yes, you can down
the arcade and just pull up outside Woolworth's next to
Muff and Break and just get out. Yes, okay, I
wasn't under percent serious on that last one. By the way,
I sometimes say things to sort of get a rise
out of Amy.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
So Jesus left that room. That's why you got it,
he goes.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
I don't want any part of this going to wear. Well,
it's out there now. Okay, we got to go. That's
it for this week and Mother's Day and Mother's Day.
Happy mother to all the mums. Park where you want today.
Any parking inspector who gives a mum a parking ticket
on Mother's Day is a bum.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Yeah, you're rot in hell.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Do what you like.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
Happy Mother's Day to all of the moms out there,
the expecting moms, the mums who are wanting to be
We are sending lots of love. And to Mustang Sally
my mom, if you're listening, which is absolutely not, I
love you, You're the best mom ever.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
My mom Jane too, love you very much. My wife, Georgie,
I love you. Happy Mother's Day. We'll see you next week.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Everyone, see you next week.
I Heart Podcasts, hear more, kiss podcasts, playlists and listen
live on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
School.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Rag, Everybody's amdo, It's God Feel And this is Chris
and Amy in the morning.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Kiss well, good morning everyone. Happy Sunday. Happy Sunday, Paige,
Amy Gerard. Yes, Happy Mother's Day.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Thank you to you.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Thank you for being here with us on the radio.
I say thank you from Australia.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
By the way, right, so selfless, so selfless.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
What you do for this country. I know it was
my problem the other week on Anzac Day. You know
when they say a minute silence, think about the ANZACs.
All I could think about is everything you do for
this country.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
I'm hin a bit of sarcasm.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
The last bit was sarcastic. You're so busy right, your
life on Instagram exhausts just watching it, looking at it.
But you keep all those balls in the air. You're
you're great at handling balls. You keep them in You're
juggling all the time. You can. I drop a lot
of balls, yeah, everyone does, though you mainly you keep
the ones that matter up. You've got three kids. You're
(01:32):
such a great mum.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Oh, thank you, and well, happy mothers do thank you, pig.
Did the producers put you up for that? No, that
just came straight from the heart.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
That's from the heart. Thank you. You're one of the
people that I look at. You know, when you look
at there's other parents you look at and you go, yeah,
I want to take some of their stuff and do that.
Not everything the language you use around your children.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Your language around my children, you do. What have I
You've never even seen me around my kids.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
We did a meeting for this show on Zoom on
a Callah. I was in the car with my son Oscar,
and you were in the car with your son Kobe.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
We ended the call and Oscar goes, wow, Amy Gerard
says a lot, and you're your six year old was
sitting next.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
All right, well, listen, we you know, free speech in
our household. I am allowed to say the F word.
My children are not. I'm trying something different because my
parents never ever, ever swore. Ever, Still to this day,
I think I've ever heard them say the F word.
And I was absolutely forbidden to swear. And now I
am a pirate swearing, absolute tyrant. So I'm trying to
(02:50):
reverse it and be a little bit more lax with
the swearing.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Look if you've heard it once? Yes, you know the word?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:57):
You know any of your kids on the sea word?
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Yeah, never, they have never said the sea word. I
would not be okay with that word.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
My boys are six and eight. We haven't hit that
one yet.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
No, have you ever dropped that in front of them?
Speaker 3 (03:07):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Yeah, no me neither. After you've jobbed everything else.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yeah, Happy Mother's Day.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah, Happy Mother's Day. All the wonderful mom's listening.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
And you, Amy Girard, thanks for hanging out with little
old men anytime. I'm probably more fun than your kids.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
This is Chris Page and Amyride.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
A very good morning to all the mums around Australia,
even the pretty bad ones. Just happy Mother's Day. This
is your day. And even if you haven't covered yourself
in glory, it's your.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Day covered yourself in glory.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Well, you know as a mum. Like if you're one
of those mums that like leave the kids in the
car at the casino, you're still a mom. It's still
my happy Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
And you know what, being a mum is the hardest
job on earth, So it's very rewarding, but hardest job
on earth.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Happy Mother's day, Happy Mother's Day. I hope you hit
the jackpot at the casino today because you deserve it.
Let's see what the mums of Australia are talking about.
Where were we?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Yeah, the Facebook Mum's group. What is going on this week?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
What's the big issue in the Facebook mums groups?
Speaker 1 (04:15):
All right, mums, I think I've cracked Mother's Day, or
at least made it work for me. Every single year
my husband forgets and I end up organizing my own
day while still making brecky and wiping noses and butts.
So last year I drew a line in the sand.
I said, if you forget again, I'm taking one full
day every month for the rest of the year to
go on solo staycations. Yes, yeah, no kids, no responsibilities,
(04:42):
just me. Well guess what they forgot again today? So
I've just started booking my twelve little getaways like the calm,
petty queen that I am. Has anyone else cracked a
genius way to make Mother's Day half decent? What a legend?
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Big issue? Okay, I get that there are a lot
of deadbeat guys out there who don't do a lot
for Mother's Day. How do you forget it, like every
ad like you told me, like Maya, David Jones, Kmart,
I mean even like bws so like get something from
get her a bottle of vodka. It's you know, every
ads like, hey, it's Mother's Day. How do you avoid it?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
You can't avoid it. So it tells me that this
husband is just incredibly complacent, probably a little bit lazy.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Probably deliberately callous.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yeah, and I think the best part about this story
is that I thought she was just going to say
that she was taking a solo stay k on Mother's
Day each year. But she's gone one better, and she
said every month for the next twelve months, she's booking
herself a solo stay k. And that is a round
of applause from me. That is such a great idea.
(05:51):
I hope anyone listening takes some notes out of this
queen's notebook and does the same.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
And knowing her deadbeat husband, which I think I do, well,
I know how he thinks, because yeah, yeah, of a feather, yep, yeah,
I think you know he's where my head went. Okay,
I mean yeah, okay, every month she's gonna go away
on a vacation. Yeah, can you do it on your period.
You No, that's like two days less. I have to
(06:19):
be around you on that.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
The deadbeat husband doesn't get to choose when she's going away.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
I'm just saying the period to be a good reminder
of oh hey, it's time for my trip away.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
No, you don't get to dictate when she's going away. No,
that is a really fantastic outcome for her every month.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
You know, whatever, he'll remember next time.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
I reckon he might too. Yeah, and I like that
she has booked all twelve in on the same day, Like,
not just gone all right, Well, I'll book my first
stay k in and then she might book the next
one and then you know, eventually she'll forget about it. No,
she's gone right, I'm booking all twelve in right now.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
I mean she paid that, like she paid from an
eving or is it the booking dot com will hold
your reservation you can pay it the property.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Who cares? She's got them all locked in? Yeah, good honor,
well played. That's a great mother's day gifts.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Such fun with her boyfriends.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yeah, I hope she does have one too.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
She probably does. God, the husband does sound a bit
I've been doing Nothing's a bit.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yeah forgetting please big issue.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Happy Mother's Day everyone. That's the Facebook Mum's group.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
This is Crisp Page and Amy Gerid.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Just for all the partners out there, maybe don't suggest
this on Mother's Day, but for anyone who didn't get
a present and you're looking for maybe maybe some sort
of cosmetic enhancement, there's a new fat at the moment.
It's called a ghost lift. Have you ever heard of
a ghost lift?
Speaker 3 (07:40):
A ghost lift?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Yep? Good, so neither had I. But it's basically this
ascetic trend where your cosmetic enhancement isn't sourced from a laboratory,
so it's not fake or synthetic or something that doesn't
belong in your body. It's actually from a human donor
a dead volt, a dead person, so somebody has died
(08:03):
and you know, like organ donors, they donate their hearts
or their livers or their kidneys and stuff. Yeah, what
you can who now is you can actually remove fat
from a dead person's body, and you can use said
fat to enhance your breasts. Women are using it to
plump up their cheeks instead of filler. A popular one
(08:24):
is yeah, a popular ones. Maybe that's what I should
get I need a bum my bum is inside me,
so I could do with a fake BBL And instead
of getting those you know, synthetic implants.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
You get injected with a corpse.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
So disturbing it really does. But then when you think
about it, you know, you're in a car accident, you
lose a lot of blood. You will take somebody else's blood.
My parents, my whole family are blood donors. You don't
think twice about taking somebody else's blood.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
But because the alternative is bleeding to death, yeah, I
mean this is a bit different because this is someone
who just wants there.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Well, it's cosmetics, so it's a little vain and whatnot,
But I mean what cosmetic surgery isn't And at the
end of the day, if it makes the person happy,
then I'm all for it.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Honest. I'm an organ donor. I've got donor on my
driver's license. If something happens to me, then yep, it's
all yours. You probably don't want the liver, everything else
is yours. And because I'm happy to save lives, I
don't want my ass pumped out and fed into some
Kardashian wanna bee.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Hey, you carcked it tomorrow. You wouldn't give me your
ass fat.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
I give it to you, okay, but not some random
and that is there.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
It's really weird when you think about it. But I
don't know you're going in the ground or you're gonna
get set on fire anyway, so why not hand it over?
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Remember Fight Club they made the really expensive soap because
they went into they climbed into the back of LiPo
suction clinics at night and went through the bins and
got up the bags of fat that they'd used from liposuction,
and they made soap out of it in the movie
Fight Club and sold it to and apparently it makes
the best soap, and the women were like, oh my god,
(10:08):
where do you make this soap? It's amazing And they
sell it for one hundred dollars a bar.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Oh my god, it's because it's human. I don't know
what it is, it, says he. Many women who request
this procedure simply do not have enough fat stores to
safely harvest insufficient volume to make a difference. This is
where off the shelf injectables made from donor human fat
come in.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
I think you need to be a different kind of
donor when you died to have consent for this, Like, okay,
if you can give my heart to someone and they
can live on, great. If you want my sweet sweet
fat that I've been working on building up lately, then
you have to pay for it. And do you pay
by the pound?
Speaker 5 (10:44):
Like?
Speaker 3 (10:44):
What if John Candy had signed off on his fat,
Like surely he gets his family would get more money
for his fat, a lot of it.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I don't think that. It's like when you're a donor.
The person who you're married to or your beneficiaries, they're
not getting paid for your organs.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
I don't know at fat you're doing a good thing.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Not anyway, It's called cadava java fat. Look into it
if you want a BBL that's a bit more natural.
Ye cadaver ghost.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
List, Okay, that's a recommendation. One question, would you have
a dead person's fat injected into your body?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
No?
Speaker 3 (11:20):
No, then shut up.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
This is Chris Page and Amy to Ride.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
We've mentioned now it's more today than we.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Should call our moms.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
My mom doesn't want it. My mum wants nothing to
do with kiss FM. She reads the news, she goes
to you. Yeah, that's your problem. Okay, But during the week,
I spoke to a dribbling idiot on the phone. His
name's Ryan, and I said, look, we should do something
nice for your wife on Mother's Day. He said, is
(11:52):
it Mother's Day Sunday?
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Ryan?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
He gave him the heads up.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
I reminded him you're welcome, and I said, look, let's
get some message from Amy's beautiful kids. Yeah, because you've
got three from memory and three we've done this, so
Ryan has on your back recorded Mother's Day messages from
your kids. Oh stop, yeah, Now, I know they've got names,
but the ones I've got here, it's just labeled Kid one.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I'll be able to tell you who they are.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
All right, Well, let's hear from kid one. No idea.
Here we go.
Speaker 5 (12:26):
I'm sorry, mum that you had a bad Mother's Day
last year, and I want to make it the best
Mother's Day you could ever have this year. Just so
you know, I love you so so much and you're
the best mom a child could ever have.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Love you. Oh so, Sweety's husky voice, that was Bobby.
That was my middle child.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Eight years old. Yeah, that's nice.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
It's so cute.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
I forgot you had a terrible Mother's Day last year.
We spoke about it. You stormed out.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
I did. I grabbed the keys and I just left. Yeah,
I didn't actually tell anyone where I was going. It's
quite dramatic when I look back, but my feelings were
warranted you this much. I did a little rant on socials.
I pulled out a little tiny violin and I strummed
it for myself. But when I tell you the amount
of d ms from other moms who could just relate,
(13:21):
it was disappointing. To be honest, You're lucky.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
You've got a radio co host who cares.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
What would I do about you?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Do you want to hear from kid number two? Whoever
it is? Here we go. I love you so much, Koby.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
You are so beautiful, and I love your snoggos and
your bactacles and your kisses.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Love you.
Speaker 5 (13:47):
I hope I was the best Moses's Day ever. I
love you so much. I love you, kiss kiss.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I think there might have been some prompting there from Ryan.
Lots of love us. That was very sweet.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Do you ever get this? I know because you're a
big fan of the movie Billy Madison, Save as me.
When your six year old is like trying to get
a sentence out because today, Junior, do you ever? Oscar's
like trying to go and I want to go to today, Junior.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Literally, I do it all the time.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
I did. He made me think of that. Yeah, kid
number three, I'm going to my daughter, ten year.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Old Charlie home, Mama, Happy Mother's Day. I hope you
have the best Mother's Day ever. Yeah, I've come so
far and I'm so grateful that I have a wonderful
mom like you. And I know I might not say
it all the time. Bye, I love you so much
and I am so grateful that you're my mom.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Bye bye. Oh that was really nice. I feel like
that's all I want from other's day? Is it just
some recognition from my children? Maybe my husband put them up,
but they are pretty sweet kids. Lots of our love.
Hees always thrown around in our household. But that was
really beautiful.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Now we've got the camera on and you can go
to our Instagram, Kiss Instagram and watch back amy listening
to those because we've got a facial recognition expert watching
it live to determine who is your favorite based on
your facial reactions and ticks.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
When not voices come up, the favorite child gets thrown
around a lot in my household. Yes, yeah, I'm not
saying who everyone thinks it is.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
I've been handed the verdict already by It's just because
she's a girl.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
All right.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
This is Chris Page and Amy.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
I wanted to do a little something for you for
Mother's stuff. But what would be really special for Amy?
And I know there's a song that I don't cry
when I play it, but there's a song that I think, well,
I know it's one of your favorite songs, and it's
a really beautiful song. And I thought it's Mother's Day,
we shill play a little bit.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Of it just kay?
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
It makes me think of my children.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
This is they were conceived.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
It makes me think of my children, all the selfless
work I've.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Done this song and maybe some grinding and quirking might
have preceded.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Maybe con Yeah, probably how they arrived for sure, a.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Bit of an old one though it's still a great song.
But that'd be Mother's Day. Tell me what do you
want today? Speak for all the mums?
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Okay, I'll tell you what I don't want. I don't
want to do a load of washing, Okay, I don't
want to unstack the dishwasher. I most certainly don't want
to be refereeing sibling fights, no mma fighting. I don't
want to pick up the cushions and put them back
on the lounge twenty times.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
Why do they take the cushions off the couch?
Speaker 1 (16:48):
And I don't know, but just you know what, leave
them on the couch for Mother's Day. Just don't take
the cushions off. And I don't want to cook dinner.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Yeah, that's it, really okay dinner. Keep the house tidy
and with the washing, get a load away.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Get a load of washing away, yep, yep.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Nice and early. Yeah, first thing in the morning.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Take all the household responsibilities off mum's hands.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Okay, that's an easy one. Doesn't cost you a santai. Yeah,
that's my language.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
This is cris Page and Amy to ride.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
There's a bit of pressure on us, poor men, to
find the right gift.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
It's so hard done by.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Have we stuff it up a lot? Yes?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
You do.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
If you've had a shocking Mother's Day gift, you can
tell us about on thirteen one oh sixty five if
you like.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Have you got any going to go berserk?
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Yeah? Don't ring with socks?
Speaker 1 (17:35):
I know.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Oh, No, that's a Dad's Day socks. What's the crappy
Mother's Day thing?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
My girlfriend got a hot water bottle last year.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Oh, hell lovely, that'll make a nice and cozy in bed.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Hang on. He got her a hot water bottle because
she had period cramps, and she was like, are you
actually kidding? Like you could have bought this for me
any other month. I've been having my period for fifteen years,
but you've waited for Mother's Day to go to the
chemist and pick me up a hot water bottle.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
They're also incredibly dangerous. Do you know the rates people
scolding themselves on boiling whine?
Speaker 1 (18:07):
I do love an incredible hot hot water bottle.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Yeah, but filling them up there and they burst their
cheap rubber from China just.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
In fluffy toweling.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Now, boiling water will go through that, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
One of my other girlfriend's got a vacuum one year.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Well, yeah, okay, Dyson.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
It was a Dyson and that helps a bit. Listen,
it doesn't. Don't buy a woman a cleaning product on
Mother's Day. That could not be a firmer slub in
the face.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I was trying to think of an argument against that,
and I can't.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
If the woman really wanted it and she bought it
for herself, I have no stress or qualms with that.
If the man has gone out to purchase that and
gifted it to her on Mother's Day, I'd be throwing
an upper.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Cut, Emily on thirty six five. Here we go, this
is this could just be the beginning, Emily. Have you
gotten something really shit for Mother's Day?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Get it off here?
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (19:04):
I have. This was actually last year. Now I'm a
mum to a three year old sos. Important part of
my day is my caffeine in the morning.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Yes, And I don't know.
Speaker 6 (19:13):
If you know, when you have like a fancy coffee machine,
you need to de scale it here and there otherwise
it gets a bit cunky and your coffee doesn't taste good.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yes.
Speaker 6 (19:20):
So for Mother's Day, my husband decided to buy me
de scaler tablets for my coffee machine.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
De scaler tablets those are tablets that you put in
and they kind of dissolve and do a bit of
a dip clean. Yeah, like a just a clean basically
like basically like dish washing tablets, but for your coffee. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (19:40):
And the worst part is he didn't even do it
for me, like I still had to do it.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
He's like, here's the dish washing tablets for your coffee machine.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
He didn't even get you any pods al and he
didn't even get you any of the George Clooney pods
and go oho, here you go hazel nuts or like.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Some Jensen nice mugs or anything for you to have.
What a prick.
Speaker 6 (19:57):
Honestly, he's lucky.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
I love him so lucky. I don't know.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Is he still alive, barely holding on by a thread.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
He's still with it well as a mum to a
three year old Emily happy mother, Love you, thank you, Yeah,
tell you another mam. I need to speak today. It's
my wife, Yes you do. It's her birthday as well
today and.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
So unlucky for Georgie. You need to blow it out
the park with a huge gift.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Georgie's married to me. She was born cursed with bad
don't worry about it.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
This is Crisp Page and Amy Gerard.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
You're a great mum, Amy jerideg and the kids looked
aufty this morning.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
They did. That's very kind to me.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Are you in bed eater?
Speaker 1 (20:42):
I'm actually not. I actually hate eating in bed. It's disgusting,
it's discussing, and I don't like lying in crumbs afterwards. Yeah,
so they did try and bring me a piece of
toast and I was like, take it downstairs.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Yeah, get out, get out. We were talking about terrible
Mother's Day gifts, and I have the double whammy today
of my wife Georgie. It's Mother's Day and it's her
birthday today.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
May have you blown it out the park for her?
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Well, I left early this morning to come in here,
so we haven't done any Okay, I forgot to say anything.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Oh my god, you didn't even say happy birthday.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
I was up. I hadn't know by coffee I was
walking out the door. A bit of a zombie.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Sounds like a lot of excuses, a.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Lot of excuse. I'll ring her and say happy birthday,
because at least we can do that.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Hello.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Oh h there, how are you going? You're on the air.
What's your language?
Speaker 6 (21:38):
I normally swear at you when you call me hi,
I mean, how are you?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
I'm good? Thank you? Happy birthday? Oh, thank you so much.
I'm jumping in before your husband over here. And happy
mother's day.
Speaker 6 (21:51):
Oh my gosh, lucky me having the same day for Georgie.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I was just saying to Amy, I didn't say anything
this morning because I wanted to do it on the radio.
Speaker 6 (22:01):
I wanted to wow, why you didn't say anything when
you left me with your children who were being vile
by the way, that's why you didn't. Okay, good to know.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Well, nice to hear it from Amy birth Yes, sir, wait,
so Georgie was actually up. Sounds like the whole house
was up, and.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
You used to the whole house is up at about
five to fifteen.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
And you still just couldn't say any nice.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
I wanted to do it on the radio. I wanted
all of Australia to hear my love.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
All right, we'll go. The floor is yours pagey.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
Okay, Georgie, Happy birthday and happy Mother's Day. Thank you
for being my rock and the rock of our family
and holding it all together, and for sticking with me
through better and all through worse and thro through sickness
more so than in health. Just thank you and everything.
(22:52):
You are such a great mum. I told Amy the
same thing that I think you are both terrific mothers.
But yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
That was like a Richard Mercer love song dedication?
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Was it? I loved when the Love God used to
read out dedications for people in jail. You go and
this for Marie done in golden Yes, it's every breath
you take by the police. Creepy.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
How is the rest of your day panning out? Georgie?
Has Paigey mentioned that he's got anything special in store?
And he surprises as he told you to be ready
by a certain time. None of that.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
No.
Speaker 6 (23:29):
When I woke him this morning with a cup of coffee,
which is how I wake him every day.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
She has been up with our children earlier.
Speaker 6 (23:36):
That is literally how I wake him, and I say,
you're running late.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
For work, hurry up? This woman is no.
Speaker 6 (23:41):
He didn't say anything.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Oh, you've obviously got something.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Actually I told you earlier in the show what I've got.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I actually do know you're going to go through with that.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
I'm I'm going to do it now. You haven't been
listening this morning.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Have you. I don't have time to listen.
Speaker 6 (23:57):
I'm with your children.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
She's with the children on Mother's Day, wrangling the two boys.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Hey, you keep this afternoon free. I've got something special
for you.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Okay, good, because I want two presents A birth day
and a mother's Day, and as nice as your message was,
that better not be one of the.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Pressure sort of. Dori. It's it's good.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
He's got to come in.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
I'm going to take in a few stops on the
way home. Okay, Happy Mother's Day, Happy birthday.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Thank you very much, Love you guys.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
To christ and Amy. And do you see what I
have to put up with?
Speaker 1 (24:30):
I see what she has to put up with.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
She's a nightmare you honestly.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
You lying in bed and she wakes you up on
Mother's Day with a cup of coffee.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Yeah, I know. I wanted to sleep a few more minutes.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
This is Chris Page and Amy to ride.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
We like to get some things off our chest before
we finish. Apparently it's healthy to not bottle things up. Amen,
So we do the airing of grievances today. It's the
Mother's Day edition.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
Air problems with your people.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Okay, this has backfight in the past because we ended
up more aggravated than when we started, because it's kind
of snowballed.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
But well, yes, but I also think it's healthy. We're
going to chat about it, right.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
You're the mom, so.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
And it is Mother's Day, so here's one of my
little grievances. I feel like on Mother's Day I shouldn't
have to be paying for the Mother's Day stall gifts
that I firstly don't even want. But secondly, every single
year when my kids there's always a Mother's Day stall
(25:34):
at the school. I don't want anything from there, but
I you know, I want to support the school, and
my kids like to do a little shop. But who
do you think they come and ask for money? Because
it's not Ryan.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Well, Ryan leaves early for work, and they, you know, Larry,
they would think to ask you for money, probably in
the car on the way to school. They'd go, can
we go, oh by the way.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
No, no, no. They had been asking me all week, and
even Ryan was like, guys, guys, you cannot ask your
mom for money for Mother's Day gifts for her come
to me.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Don't worry. They do it for Father's Day as well.
My kid's got me this like shower, like a nice
like a fancy little bit of a body wash shower
jel sort of thing that it smelt like a urinal cake.
I know, but you get where you're pay.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
For, yes, Okay. Anyway, I also have a real issue
and I think I mentioned it previously with the breakfast
in bed. Like Whilst I think it's really cute, I
actually don't want to eat breakfast in bed.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
It's disgusting.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
I don't want crumbs in my bed. And so you
bringing me breakfast in bed very cute, very endearing, but
also no, because all that happens is I then have
to clean the bed.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Do you know how bad a veg you might staying
on a white sheet looks.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
I actually do, because last year that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
The raspberry jams not much better. Okay, mine, I know
I'm not a mum, but I do have some Mother's
Day grievances.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Oh wow, it must be really tough for you on
Mother's Day. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
The ads where they show the kids running into mum
and dad on Mother's Day. It's in a perfect bedroom
and the mum's in a beautiful sat nice and with
a makeup and haird No morning bread, no, no, the
kids running in a beautiful breakfast and husband's there is
a perfect little family. Stop making families perfect in it.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
No one looks like that.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
We know it.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Yeah, we know it's all fake. We want realistic, relatable content.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
How much to greeting cards used to cost. This is
my other grievance, and it's five.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Dollars ninety five, six dollars ninety five.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
No, now have you lately You buy a card and
go up and it's like nine to ninety five, ten
ninety I've won eleven dollars for a car.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
I bought a bridle shower card the other day and
it was eleven dollars ninety five. The minute you put
anything pregnancy, baby related or wedding related.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Boom through the roof or Mother's Day related.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
I'll tell you my other favorite one is a few
years ago, and granted our kids were quite young at
the time, but I think Ryan had tried to do
the right thing, and he tried to get the kids
to do a painting for me, and he was trying
to get them to help with making me pancakes in
the morning, and he said, you know, stay up here
in bed, and I've got the whole day covered. But
when Ryan is to do something and keep his cool
(28:11):
and the kids were all feral, what ended up happening
was I could just hear Ryan absolutely losing it, and
then before you know, I have three crying children and
so on the one day that I meant to be relaxing,
what I'm doing is actually putting out spot fires because
he's gotten stressed, because he's a bit of a stress head.
And then he set all my kids off, so there
(28:33):
was no relaxing. It was just me putting out spotfires left,
right and center.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
Got another mother related one. Oh yeah, it affects all
parents really, And look my grievances with disabled people and
no hear me out. It's when people with disability stickers
on their car park in the parents with PRAMS spot. Okay,
and you go, well, I guess you're entitled to, but
you got your spots. I've never parked in a handicap
(28:58):
spot in my life and I never will.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
But I don't believe that.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
But you've got your own spots. You get the handicap
spots are better spots than the parents.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
There's only ever two disabled spots, and what if they're
both taken?
Speaker 3 (29:08):
There's always he.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
If the person with a disability has a child, she
is entitled to park in the parenting spot. Yeah, do
you ever think about that?
Speaker 3 (29:18):
If you're a disabled mother with kids, you can just
drive into the shop front window. Yes, you can down
the arcade and just pull up outside Woolworth's next to
Muff and Break and just get out. Yes, okay, I
wasn't under percent serious on that last one. By the way,
I sometimes say things to sort of get a rise
out of Amy.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
So Jesus left that room. That's why you got it,
he goes.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
I don't want any part of this going to wear. Well,
it's out there now. Okay, we got to go. That's
it for this week and Mother's Day and Mother's Day.
Happy mother to all the mums. Park where you want today.
Any parking inspector who gives a mum a parking ticket
on Mother's Day is a bum.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Yeah, you're rot in hell.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Do what you like.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
Happy Mother's Day to all of the moms out there,
the expecting moms, the mums who are wanting to be
We are sending lots of love. And to Mustang Sally
my mom, if you're listening, which is absolutely not, I
love you, You're the best mom ever.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
My mom Jane too, love you very much. My wife, Georgie,
I love you. Happy Mother's Day. We'll see you next week.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Everyone, see you next week.
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