Lazy Husband or Overloaded Wife? Fixing the Uneven Load Before Resentment Wins - Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Ever come home from work to a house that looks like a bomb went off—while your partner relaxes? Today Justin answers a listener who’s furious at a husband who won’t pull his weight. Is it laziness, “feigned incompetence,” or something deeper? Justin shares the tough-love steps every parent needs to hear to reclaim balance without a shouting match.

Plus: a second listener asks for help with a 12-year-old facing anxiety, insomnia, and no friends—Justin’s practical roadmap will give you hope tonight.

KEY POINTS

• Why “feigned incompetence” is a relationship killer—and how to call it out with compassion.
• Three steps to stop enabling: drop the martyr act, have the hard conversation, and set clear expectations.
• Family meetings as a secret weapon for shared responsibility.
• Supporting a tween with severe anxiety and sleep struggles: routines, medical checks, and delight-driven activities.
• How better sleep restores calm for the whole household.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“You deserve a partner, not a project.” – Dr Justin Coulson

RESOURCES

• Couples meeting [Podcast Episode]
• The Importance of Sleep: How I Work Crossover [Podcast Episode]
• #452 Weaponised Incompetence [Podcast Episode]
• Parenting On The Same Page [Webinar]
• We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing [Webinar]
• A Grown Up’s Guide to Worry Stacking (and how to help kids kick it!) [Download]
• Riding the Waves: Tools for Taming Anxiety [Course for kids & teens]
• #310 Bedtime is the Right Time [Podcast Episode]
• #990 Mental Health Challenges with Anne Hollonds [Podcast Episode]

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Name the Load – Write down every daily task you’re carrying; share it with your partner without blame.
2. Set a Couple’s Meeting – Weekly 15-minute check-ins to agree on chores, schedules, and support.
3. Prioritise Sleep – Create predictable bedtime routines for kids and adults.
4. Find Delight – Help your child discover activities that light them up to ease anxiety and improve sleep.

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