July 2, 2024 • 37 mins
This episode we say goodbye to two of our storytellers as we head towards the finale. Which will make it through - Mark, Kate, Naeun or Ben?
Before then, Ben and Mark share their stories on the theme Odd One Out.
As self-proclaimed ‘fatty’ Mark is here to show us that fatness can be an experience punctuated by joy! Joined by besties Tess and Cribbs who founded Radically Soft – a plus size clothing collective, they talk about the trials and tribulations that come with trying to shop as a plus size person, the importance of community, and how to reclaim the word ‘FAT’!
Struggling to lock down a story and only a few short days from deadline, Ben receives a text with a lead for a story: “Have you heard of the Weed Church of Newcastle?” It sends him on a frantic chase for an interview with the controversial religious organisation that combines spiritual worship with plant-based medicine.
Find and Tell is the search for the next generation of Australian storytellers. Join host Jamila Rizvi and the best up and coming storytellers the country has to offer.
Don't miss out next on next weeks episode as we draw closer to the finale of Find And Tell.
Find And Tell is co-production between BlakCast & iHeart Australia.
Hosted by Jamila Rizvi
Storytellers are Naeun Kim, Mark Mariano, Ben Haywood & Kate Robinson
Show Producer is Jay Gasser
Mix & Mastering by Ryan Pemberton
Story producers are Indianna Symons, Ryan Pemberton, James Parkinson & Grace Richardson
Theme music by Alex Cox
Video production by All Things All Creatures @allthingsallcreatures
Special thanks to Mundanara Bayles, Corey Layton, Stephanie Coombes, Alyssa Partington, & Bree Steele.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is Mark Mariana. I'm a storyteller on Find
and Tell. I'm Filipino and live on direc Land. I'd
like to recognize the traditional custodians of this continent whose
land was stolen nearly two hundred and fifty years ago,
in particular the Cama, Eagle and Ruanderie people whose land
this podcast was recorded on. And we extend our respect
(00:21):
to all Aboriginal and Torrest Street Islander peoples. The rich
storytelling history of the world's oldest living culture is what
we pay homage to when we tell our stories on
Find and Tell.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Hello, I'm Jamilla Risby and this is Find and Tell,
the search for the next generation of Australian storytellers. Today
we are going to say goodbye to two of our storytellers.
When I first met Mark, Naan, Ben and Kate, they
were full of ideas and excitement and a lot of nerves.
(00:57):
But since then they have each made some genuinely excellent stories.
And all this from four people who had never made
an audio story before. Mark is a writer, Naan works
in TV news, Kate's a visual artist and Ben Well.
Ben told me that before this his only experience making
(01:17):
anything was when he posted selfies on Instagram. A huge
congratulations to each of them and props to their willingness
to listen and to learn, guided by the producers here
at iHeart Australia. But we have not finished yet. Mark
and Ben each have a story still to share, so
let's not wait any longer. Today's theme is odd one Out.
(01:40):
Let's hear from Mark, knowing this could be his final story. Mark,
welcome back to find and tell.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Hi, how are you?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
It's good to have you today. Today your theme is
odd one Out?
Speaker 3 (01:57):
For you?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Was this one where you had to go away and reflect?
Or did you know immediately the story you were going
to tell?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I definitely knew. Like going into it, I was like, yeap,
being an odd one out is about being an outsider.
And you know, I've sat outside of so many so
outside of so many communities, thankfully outside so that I
can enter new ones. But you know, as someone who's Filipino,
as someone who is big bodied and body positive and
(02:24):
someone who's queer, I sit outside of so many communities,
but relish in the ones that I do have and
can create, And so I definitely wanted to approach that
and use that approach in this episode. I'm hoping it
came through.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
This could be we don't know yet. This could be
your final story. It's the third one you've created for
us so far. Does How does that feel when you
sort of look back at the journey so far?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
It has been so incredibly fun. Like I signed up
for this project to really challenge myself, to really push
myself outside of my comfort zone, and I did the
exactly that. The point where I wouldn't change a thing,
I wouldn't change a thing, whatever fumble, whatever mistake, whatever
missed up I took throughout this whole process with these
three episodes, I'm going to accept them as they are,
(03:12):
and I'm excited. I'm so excited.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
I'm excited too. Let's hear it. This is your third
contribution to Find and Tell, and it's around the theme
of odd one Out.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I just wanted a double check. What was the largest
size you had in this shirt? I think extra large
was the largest. Sickon Farmers said, I double check. As
a big boy, my fashion options are mind the pun
pretty thin.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Yeah, it is the largest size.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Okay, cool, all good? Well I was after two X,
but if that's not available, I'm often relegated to Low's
or Kmart's big boy section, which usually means I have
two choices. Hawaiian shirt or vintage American motorway. Don't get
me wrong, loses fab but sixty trucky jest isn't my
(04:04):
personal asthetic, at least not yet. I've been chubbing my
whole life. I'm convinced my baby fat is still floating
around somewhere, perhaps in my left fly. When I grew
out of the larger size most stores carried, I abandoned
in store shopping altogether. I also got really tired of
(04:26):
only being able to buy bracelets and bags whenever I
went to the mall with my friends. I will acknowledge
that online shopping has opened up a whole new world
for me, and my options are expanding. But what about
when something I thought was my size doesn't fit right?
Or what if it looks a certain way in the
muddle but completely different on me, Or what if I
don't feel like contributing to tons of phost fashion waste.
(04:49):
I know the solution isn't always clear, but there's at
least one thing we can always rely on, and that's community.
I'm gonna handle this, Mike, Let's see if it's I
think it's all set on properly. Look good here, Oh gorgeous,
thank you, that's nice and clear. Enter Radically Soft, founded
(05:10):
by Fatty duo Tests and Cribs. Radically Soft is Sydney's
very first plus size clothing collective. This revolutionary movement aims
to serve the many fatties who struggle to find fashionable,
affordable and sustainable clothing. They run thrift markets exclusively seeking
and selling secondhand clothing sized sixteen to thirty and up.
(05:31):
As a society, we're at a stage where we can
both start and continue plus size clothing cycles and lifetimes.
And radically Soft is here to host and help for Tests.
Their motive and their purpose was crystal clear.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
I think we just saw that there wasn't anything here
like that and we wanted to be able to shop
as fat people and have fat community.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Community is at the core of this venture, and for
co founder Cribs, this defiant movement was also an act
of self love to create a space that didn't exist
for her and people like her.
Speaker 5 (06:07):
Yeah, I've been wanting just to find a place where
I could find clothes irl like in person, I mean,
it was probably a little bit selfish of me, but
also I was like, why don't we try and build
on the community that is here now and contribute to that.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I've been to one of their markets and the second
I entered, an immediate wave of relief came over me.
I was overwhelmed by choice, a feeling I've never experienced
before in a regular store. There were racks upon racks
of CUE clothing, all in my size, Like can you believe?
(06:45):
Like is this real? Radically Soft have made that shopping
experience a little bit more safe, easier, and more comfortable
for fat bodies. Co founder Test wants Radically Soft to
be more than just a market movement and a declaration,
one that celebrates and empowers bodies that sit outside the
(07:05):
fashion norm.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
With radically Solved, I think that all fat bodies are
radically solved. I think that in a world that actively
encourages anti fat bias and fat phobia, like just existing
in a fat body, like wow, we're existing, Like we're
really doing that. And I think to see I fat
people be joyful is just really like a real big
(07:28):
fuck you to the mainstream.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
Really just the act of wanting to create this project
was I think an act of radicalism in itself and
wanting to carve out this space for us.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
For the longest time, fat and fashionable were two very
mutually exclusive terms. In the early two thousands, supermodel Kate
Moss's mantra nothing tastes as good as skinny feels mirror
the heroin cheek fashion era of that time with a
zembic cheek. Right now in the thinness remains at the
center of each fashion trend, and in this raging war
(08:05):
of weight, the very fashionable test is on the front line,
challenging and changing perceptions of fatness and fashion.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
I feel like fashion to me is a way to
express who I am, but it also leans most likely
always being the best stress of the room and know
what acknowledging you. And I don't think that people that
aren't fat understand the experience of like trawling through oline stores,
trying to go in person and not being able to
(08:34):
find your size. There are so many levels to trying
to find fashion as a plus sized person, and I
think people should put some respects on us when we
are very fashionable.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Not to toot my own horn, but I think I
can throw it together a pretty mean fit myself. But
when you're dealing with mainstream markets that don't acknowledge body diversity,
it just becomes harder and harder to shop.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Don't even get me started on shopping online. For some reason,
you have to go to like the specific curve section
to find the fat clothing, because.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Like why, what should be an empowering and fun experience
soon becomes one of degradation and heartbreak.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
I just feel like that's also isolating, Like I just
don't understand why they all can't be together.
Speaker 6 (09:21):
Why do?
Speaker 5 (09:21):
I also kind of feels like it's hidden, and I'm like,
this is what we're talking about.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
For Tess, who grew up in the States, the traumatic
fat shopping experience is one they still carry even today.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
You go to the department store, you go to jas Pennies,
and there's always like when you're a kid, you go
into like the kids section, but because I was a
fat kid, I had to go into the junior section
even when I was like ten years old, and my
mom would take me and then I would be looking
at the stuf and be like, hey, all of this,
I hate all of it. It's like business attire for
fourteen year olds and I'm like ten, and my mom
(09:57):
would like pick things for me, give them to me,
and that I'd be like, they don't fit, and then
she'd be like, oh, okay, I'm gonna go get the
other size. And I think that those experiences as a kid,
even when I'm at the markets now, I am like,
I can't shop here. We made this for fat people
to shop, and I am like looking around and I'm like,
I still can't get anything because of that lifelong trauma
(10:18):
of having to go places of being like, is my
size here? Even though I'm in a space that I
know my size is gonna be, I'm like, I can't shop.
And I think that that is just so telling of
the fat experience, especially when you've like grown up fat. Yeah,
it's very isolating.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
It's a bit of an odd thing to say, but
there's some comfort in knowing I'm not the only one
feeling left out. There's still such a long way to go,
and as fatties, we never feel one hundred percent comfortable
in store are on site. However, in the meantime, here
are three ways you can be radically soft with yourself.
Number one, redefining what the word fat means and reworking
(10:57):
the concept of fatness in your head makes a massive
difference to how you approach your style and your fashion.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
I feel like my fatness is in a place now
where I am so joyful and being fat. I know
that there's a lot of things that society puts on
us that is negative about being fat, but now in
my life, I am like, I love floating, I love
being in the water. I love being able to give
warm hugs to my friends, and like embracing my friends
(11:27):
in that joyful way, Like I just see fatness as
being so beautiful and so sacred.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Number two, surround yourself with fat babes, whether that be
in real life or online. Fill your feeds with people
with a diverse range of body types and shapes. Where
no shortage of fat fashionistas on TikTok and Instagram. I
know it's easy to get lost in the standards set
by outdated esthetic decision makers, so you must turn to
(11:57):
community to break free of them.
Speaker 5 (11:59):
I don't want to say I'm like at full like
fat joy acceptance, but just being able to like be
soft and kind with myself as I go through all
these ebbs and flows of the way that I feel
about my body. But I know that when I'm around
beautiful fat people, I feel it. I feel so much
joy and love in my heart that I'm like, why
would I ever think this way? You know, if you
(12:22):
want to be surrounded by people who just love being
themselves and loving their body and acknowledge your fatness and
pretend like it doesn't exist.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
When you surround yourself with community and have open conversations
with others who have experienced the darkness that comes with
living in a fat phobic world, that shared struggle soon
becomes a silver lining, an uplifting joy that is sacred,
a little silly, but overall very wholesome.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
That body is like that, I want to show my
belly button, but I want to show in a way
that's sexy. I don't want to like have like my
whole belly.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Out, you know, Like I want to show my belly
button my crack, and you.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Can't show one without the other.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
Unfortunately, it's a real Sophie's choice.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Number three and this one's just from me. Don't get
caught up in the numbers for some reason. A two
excel in one brand is a four excel in another.
What is the sixteen to some is a ten to others.
So you must go with your gun. Literally, go with
your gun. There's nothing wrong with going up a digit,
especially when it concerns your comfort. Before I let you go,
(13:36):
I want to do a little exercise. No, not that time,
cheeky together. I want us to make an act of
reclamation of a word that, in twenty twenty four is
still so emotionally charged. Fat is just fat. That isn't ugly,
that isn't repulsive, that isn't evil, that isn't bad. Is
(14:00):
just fat. Stay it with me. Three to one fat? Wow,
you killed that one more time. I'm a three to
one fat. Oh how does that feel like a weight?
It's been lifted off your shoulder and it's huh beautiful.
Thank you so much for doing that with me. Trust
(14:20):
me when I say there is nothing to be afraid of.
So from one chunky babe to another, I'm wishing you
all the best with your next shop. I know this
might feel like an isolating experience, but you're not alone.
Speaker 7 (14:32):
I got your babe, Ditto, Mark.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I want to know when you were creating this episode,
who the audience was in your.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Mind's eye, Other fat babes. Yeah, definitely other fat babes.
I think I think every fat person would relate to this,
or at least most fat people would relate to this,
Just this experience of like going to a store not
finding something in their size, and like not being able
to like accurately put together a fit that you had
in your mind just because a store doesn't have this
(15:17):
thing in your size and in stock. Also, going into this,
you know, I wanted to put fat joy in a
positive light. I think, you know, fat people in general,
as depicted in mainstream media is so one sided and
so like they're the sidekick, they're the supporting character, And
I wanted to put fat people at the front in
(15:38):
this episode to really just celebrate who we are, our
physical selves and our inward selves as well. But I
think a larger message mind the pun, a larger message
being that, like you know, buddies are beautiful, we will
experience different body insecurities, and you know, we're getting into
a world and into a stage where we can directly
(16:01):
combat it and fight it together. So I'm happy. I'm
so happy with this episode.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Mark, what are you most proud of? Is there one
of the stories that you've told, one of the moments
that you had in an interview. What do you look
back on and think, Yeah, that I did that.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
I think with this last episode in particular, I strongly
believe that self love is a journey and not a destination.
I myself am on a tumultuous self love journey. There
are days where I like, I love my body, I
love my fatness, I love what it provides for other people.
And then other days where I'm just so down in
the dumps and just so like incredibly, just like deep
(16:43):
in this, like, oh my goodness, I hate myself.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
It.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
So what I loved and what I was most proud
of was just being able to connect one on one
with chosen family, with community members who knew exactly how
I felt, and I was able to have sort of
critical dialogue with them. It wasn't just like this silly
I feel this way. I feel this way. We had
some deep, deep thoughts, which is not readily accessible. It's
(17:12):
not something that we can find every day, finding people
who are willing to be vulnerable with you. And so
I'm truly just not proud of I'm proud of myself.
I'm so proud of myself. But I'm also so proud
of the people that came onto these episodes and bore
their soul out for everyone in the public to see.
It is such a hard thing, so I'm so proud
(17:32):
of them.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Mark, you should be proud of yourself. You have shared
some really fantastic stories with us. You've got such warmth
and character and energy. I have loved getting to know
you and listening to your stories. This could be your
final story for the show. We're going to find out
just a little bit later. But congratulations on everything you've
done so far. I'm looking forward to seeing whatever it
(17:55):
is you do next. Well.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
This is Fine and Tell and this week's theme is
odd one Out. We are so close to hearing who
our find and Tel finalists are going to be. But
before that, Ben has one more story to share. Ben,
welcome back. You must be feeling pretty good about yourself
(18:25):
winning your last two episodes.
Speaker 6 (18:27):
Yes, thanks again for having me. I'm happy to be here.
And yeah, two in the bag and one more to go.
Let's get it done.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Take me back to the beginning when you were just
sitting out on the process. Was there a point where
the work felt impossible, like you weren't going to get
it all done because it is like it is a
big workload that we've set you all.
Speaker 6 (18:48):
Yeah, I think I think I went into it first off,
in the back of my mind, I thought five to
ten minutes an episode, three episodes, easy, right? Absolutely not? No,
it was so much different work kind of going back
and forth. And you know, unfortunately, as we'll hear, sometimes
(19:10):
things don't always go to plants. So when you kind
of hit those speed bumps throughout, I guess chasing a
certain episode, can I e. A take the l or
you can roll with the punches?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Well, I want to hear about some of these speed bumps.
So let's get to the story. This is your third
contribution to find and tell odd one out.
Speaker 6 (19:28):
Actually, in the very beginning, I thought it was going
to be pretty easy. I thought, yeah, three short stories,
how hard can it be? But everyone's looking at me
really fucking weir because I've got a microphone on my face.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Here we go, Hello, how you doing?
Speaker 6 (19:52):
Do you mind if I pick a ear for a
second for a podcast? What I wasn't ready for was
just how many times I was going to get told no, no.
Speaker 7 (20:00):
No, no, no, no no no, yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 6 (20:05):
Cut to the middle of week two, and I've only
got one story in the bag, one interview that didn't
pan out, and another one that's canceled on me. I
don't think I'm going to be able to get this
done in time, so I start to go into a
little bit of panic mode. I go through my phone
contacts alphabetically. I'm posting Instagram stories and Facebook statuses in
(20:26):
the hopes of a long lost uncle or a childhood
friend would have a juicy topic for me to follow
up on, and still nothing. I start to get up
in my own head about it. I'm critiquing my ideas
before anyone else has even heard them. Now that sounds shit.
No one's going to want to listen to that. I
don't think I'm going to be able.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
To do this.
Speaker 6 (20:45):
I nearly quit a few times during this, just because,
you know, I just doubt dubated myself. But then, like
a sign from the heavens, a text from a friend
I hadn't heard from it in a while. Have you
heard of the Weed Church of Newcastle? I immediately hop online
(21:12):
and search we Church of Newcastle and there it is
the first search result, the Church of Umbuntu. At first glance,
it looks like an ordinary church website, but with one
curious difference. At the top of the homepage, the church
(21:33):
logo a dove with its wings in full flight holding
a cannabis leaf in its mouth.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Too, wellness, clinic, can you hold the line please?
Speaker 6 (21:52):
Yet not a problem. Just to clarify, the voice you're
hearing at the moment isn't the reception. It's a reenactment
with a voice actor.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Good afternoon, Ubuntu, Wellness, This is Carol. How can I
help you?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Hi?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Carol? My name is Ben.
Speaker 6 (22:09):
I was wondering if Karen Burge was available, Uh, not.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Right at this moment? Can I leave a message for there? Yeah?
Speaker 6 (22:17):
Can you just let her know that Ben called guard now.
If I'm being honest, I didn't expect either response, but
to my surprise, Hi, Ben, this is Karen.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
From the Church of Mbantu. I had a message to
contact you.
Speaker 6 (22:29):
Yes, Hi Karen, how are you?
Speaker 3 (22:31):
I'm Glord, how are you going good? Thank you?
Speaker 6 (22:33):
I was contacting you in regard to doing a story
on the church.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Yeah. Absolutely, I'd been more than happy to sit down
and talk with you. Does tomorrow around two o'clock fit you?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (22:46):
Yeah, definitely tomorrow at two sounds great. I'll come out
to the church and see then.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Okay, thanks Ben, look forward to it.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
See you then, Thanks Karen, Thank you boy.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
I was excited.
Speaker 6 (22:58):
I was practicing reading my questions to my partner and
in the mirror to myself as well. The day of
the interview, I jump in my car and drive an
hour into Newcastle. I'm ten minutes away from the church
and my phone rings, Hello Ben speaking, Hi Ben, This
is Karen from the church. Oh, hi Karen, how are you.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
I don't think I'm going to be able to do
the interview today.
Speaker 6 (23:26):
Oh really? Okay, yeah, it's not a complete show that
they've pulled out last minute. Just a quick Google search
and you'll find a lot of criticism and controversy surrounding
the church. My guess is they're worried it'll bring too
much heat. Right, Okay, but I'm only ten minutes away.
I'd figure if I could just get face to face
(23:47):
with Karen, I might be able to get her to
change your mind. Well, I'm just around the corner on
my way in to see you. Is there any possibility
that maybe I could just sit down and have a
chat with you, and I'll just leave the recording equipment
in the car, and yeah, maybe we could just have
a chat and maybe go from there.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Is it? Okay?
Speaker 5 (24:08):
Yeah, sure if you want to come in and I could,
I could make you a cup of tea and I
mean we can just chat.
Speaker 6 (24:15):
Excellent, Okay, Well, yeah, I'm not too far away, so
I should be there in a couple of minutes and
I'll see you then.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Thanks Karen, All right, thanks, thanks Ben, Thanks boy.
Speaker 6 (24:29):
I arrive at the church. The front is boarded off,
so I go through the side entrance into their wellness center.
A step inside. Yep, this place smells like weed, hemp oils,
hemp creams, hemp soaps, hemp honeys, hempalm, hemp nectar for dogs.
(24:49):
The list goes on. Karen introduces herself as the vice
president of the church and the manager of the health clinic.
We sit down and chat over a cup of tea. Immediately,
I feel like I'm being treated with suspicion. Why are
you doing this? Who are you here for? What do
you want to know? What's the story about? After forty
(25:10):
five minutes of interrogation, Karen agrees to be interviewed the
following week, but only if she receives a copy of
the questions beforehand a bit of a red flag. But
if that's what it takes to get this story over
the line, I'll do it. So the day of the
interviews here, Karen's received my questions, and after breaking the
(25:33):
ice of her last week, I'm feeling confident about going
into today until no, no, no, not again, Hi Ben, Sorry,
I won't be able to have the interview today. It's
just not the right time. Apologies Karen, the audacity, the
indecency that Hi Ben. Is it possible to do two
(25:56):
pm Wednesday instead? Nikki another one of the founders, can
be here too, Carrot huh hy caring. Yes, it works
for me. Thank you so much for your response. I'll
see you two pm Wednesday. Con regards Ben, and straight
away I was just back to cloud nine again. I
was like yes, I was like, they've changed their mind. Hello, Ben,
(26:18):
I've had a meeting with our management team and I
feel as though we are not in a position to
talk on any of these questions right now. Sorry to
miss you around. We would be in a better position
to talk in a month or so if you'd like
to try again. Then that was like the moment where
I wanted to flip flip the table. If there was
a table, I would have flipped it. Yeah, it was
(26:38):
a yes, So then I no, and then yes. I'd
put myself out there. I'd cold called. I'd created rapport
of strangers even after I was told no. The first time,
I managed to salvage a sliver of hope, only to
have it crash and burn in the eleventh hour. I
told my producer what happened. He called me up and said,
you've got two options. Either start from scratch on a
(27:01):
whole new story. We'll try and find a story within this. No,
I don't think so. Men, you know who's going to
want to hear me talk about my problems? This is
me talking through the idea of my producer. You know,
we've all gone through struggles these last couple of weeks,
and everyone else pulled out stories out of their hat,
(27:23):
whereas me, What am I going to talk about? I'm
going to talk about my failure. But I'll be honest,
like I'm I'm I'm worried about releasing all of these stories,
you know, because I've been burnt in the past by
you know, people who just want to bring you down,
and if you try something new, and you step outside
(27:44):
of your comfort zone and you try to be creative,
and then someone shits on it and they bring you down.
I'm scared to kind of be on the receiving end
of all that sort of stuff. But if people are
going to judge me for it, and if people are
going to have something to say about it, fuck them.
I liked the idea of being able to bring a
realness to storytelling and explain that things don't always go
(28:11):
to plan, you know, just like in life. And I
think I've got to give myself a little bit of
credit because I've never done anything like this before as well,
so you know, what's the saying out of the frying
pan into the furnace. I would love to be a
voice for somebody who's going to do this in the future,
Like if there's a season two Will Find and Tell
and someone wants to listen to this episode, you know
(28:33):
it's going to give them a bit of an idea
to say, oh, actually no, this this is a normal feeling.
This is not abnormal. This is the process. Like anybody
else that wants to do this in the future, if
you feel like I did, someone that's like, hey, I've
got no idea, what I'm doing, what you're feeling. Trust me,
You're not alone because this is what I did. This
is how I failed, and this is how we still
(28:54):
created something with it.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Ben, you went through a whole rollercoaster of emotions making
that one, didn't you?
Speaker 7 (29:05):
I did?
Speaker 6 (29:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (29:07):
What were you afraid of happening if you didn't get
it done?
Speaker 6 (29:11):
Failure?
Speaker 7 (29:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (29:13):
I yeah, I did this. I did this not to win.
I did this because I wanted to prove to myself
that I could do it. It's been a very long
time since I've put myself outside of my comfort zone
and I've really tried to focus on something that I
(29:34):
wanted to do well. I've never really been a competitive person,
but I've always been somebody who wanted to make myself proud,
and not being able to finish was my biggest fear,
because I wouldn't be proud of myself if I didn't.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
This week's theme was odd one Out. I'm not gonna
put my own thoughts on it. I need to yours.
Why was this one the odd one out?
Speaker 6 (30:03):
I think with this one, I think I'm reflecting on
myself as being the odd one out of not actually
having a completed story to submit for the episode. I
think that in a way I had the idea of
obviously the church and the Angle and what I wanted
to do with it, and then for it to fall through.
(30:24):
To be the odd one out from these episodes is
to submit an episode of my own failure and my
own struggle to complete a podcast episode as well.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Now I like it. I feel like, you know, even
if the essence of the episode itself and the story
you were telling us wasn't necessarily within the theme clearly
of odd one Out, it's the odd one out in
your three podcasts, right, Yeah, it doesn't quite sit the
same way as the other two, But in one way
it's not. Because I keep thinking about there is a
bit of a common thread between your three in that
(30:57):
it feels a little bit like you were attempting a
love letter to regional Australia, Like this is such a
strong sense of place in each episode. Was that something
intentional or is that just part of who you are
and where you've grown up.
Speaker 6 (31:11):
I feel as though there's so many unheard stories in
regional Australia because they get looked over. Something as simple
as someone put in Teddy Bears and trees can turn
into like a beautiful story of somebody just trying to
make everyone else feel good. Yeah, and you're growing up
in the Ilaurora, you know, having so much different inspiration
that you can kind of draw off from down there
(31:33):
as well.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Ben, congratulations, I think it's a huge achievement.
Speaker 6 (31:36):
Thank you so much, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
So who found and told the best odd one out story?
And who will become our Find and Tel finalists? Find
out in just a moment. This is Find and Tell
and the theme this week was odd one Out. Now
Mark absolutely found his podcasting voice and greove this episode.
(32:06):
I thought it was a great choice of subject and
it showed us for a podcast that is all about inclusion,
that inclusion moves beyond race and gender. Mark's Oprah style
pet talk at the end was the most thoughtful combination
of motivation and empathy and recognition plus some information. Honestly,
I think he could have his own talk show. After
(32:27):
hearing that the episode introduction was also brilliant, he conveyed
how tense that situation was for him. Well done now,
Ben clearly had a real challenge getting this episode completed
on time, and so big props to him that he
got it done. I'm sure he won't be surprised to
hear that probably wasn't his strongest contribution. Ben's done a
(32:50):
really solid job with the audio he had, and he's
injected some fun into the hope and the disappointment of
landing and then losing an interview opportunity. I was most
impressed by Ben's moments of vulnerability, particularly in that monologue
at the end where he kind of unpacks his fear
of judgment. So, after hearing both stories, I've decided on
(33:16):
this week's winner, and hey, Mark, it's going to be you. Congratulations.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Oh that's so sick. Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Yeah. Oh it was honestly just the most stunning piece
of work. I feel like we've got such a strong
sense of who you are as a storyteller, but also like,
quite possibly as a future oprah.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Oh, thank you so much, Thank you so much. You
get a car, Thank you car a car.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
So the time has come to decide which of our
four storytellers will we going through to the finals, and
who we have to say goodbye to Naon, Mark, Ben
and Kate have all brought such unique perspectives to this series,
and I hope they are all incredibly proud of the
stories they've shared with me and with all of you
(34:16):
the audience. Each episode, two of our storytellers went head
to head, and each episode's winner received one point. Those
points have been tallied. Ben finished on two points, Naon
finished on one point, Kate finished on one point as well,
(34:40):
and Mark, who won today's episode, also finished on two points,
which means I'm not great at maths, folks, but i
can do the ones and twos. It means Mark and Ben, congratulations,
you are our finalists.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Oh my goodness, look at you, Look at us.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Well, we are well on the road. Now everyone to
crown our first ever winner of Find and Tell, so
that you both know you worked very very hard. You
told three incredible stories. You each earned two very important points.
But now none of that matters. Absolutely none of it matters.
The slate is wiped clean. We are going head to
(35:22):
head with our final story, and that is all that matters.
You're both going to be given the same theme, and
you'll have an entire episode to tell your story. That's
a whole lot more storytelling time. The theme is lost
in translation. I'm going to let you to think some more.
I'm going to let those cogs turn. Good luck. We
(35:44):
are going to hear from you very soon. I feel
really sad saying goodbye to Nayan and Kate because I
have loved working with them, and even more I have
loved listening to the stories that they told. Both of
them have improved so much across the series and they've
(36:05):
definitely surely inspired a few more future storytellers amongst all
of you listening right now. Ben and Mark are our
final two storytellers, and in our next couple of episodes,
they will battle it out to be crowned Australia's first
ever Find and Tell champion. You are not going to
want to miss this press follow in whichever podcast app
(36:26):
you're listening on and I will see you at the finale.
A big thank you to our show partners Afters and
Road Australia. Find and Tell is a co production between
iHeart Australia and the black Cast podcast network. Black Cast
empowers First Nations people and people of color to reclaim
their narratives, strengthen cultural identity, and contribute to a more
(36:49):
inclusive Australia by showcasing exciting emerging talent from Australian communities,
My name is Mark Mariana. I'm a storyteller on Find
and Tell. I'm Filipino and live on direc Land. I'd
like to recognize the traditional custodians of this continent whose
land was stolen nearly two hundred and fifty years ago,
in particular the Cama, Eagle and Ruanderie people whose land
this podcast was recorded on. And we extend our respect
(00:21):
to all Aboriginal and Torrest Street Islander peoples. The rich
storytelling history of the world's oldest living culture is what
we pay homage to when we tell our stories on
Find and Tell.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Hello, I'm Jamilla Risby and this is Find and Tell,
the search for the next generation of Australian storytellers. Today
we are going to say goodbye to two of our storytellers.
When I first met Mark, Naan, Ben and Kate, they
were full of ideas and excitement and a lot of nerves.
(00:57):
But since then they have each made some genuinely excellent stories.
And all this from four people who had never made
an audio story before. Mark is a writer, Naan works
in TV news, Kate's a visual artist and Ben Well.
Ben told me that before this his only experience making
(01:17):
anything was when he posted selfies on Instagram. A huge
congratulations to each of them and props to their willingness
to listen and to learn, guided by the producers here
at iHeart Australia. But we have not finished yet. Mark
and Ben each have a story still to share, so
let's not wait any longer. Today's theme is odd one Out.
(01:40):
Let's hear from Mark, knowing this could be his final story. Mark,
welcome back to find and tell.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Hi, how are you?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
It's good to have you today. Today your theme is
odd one Out?
Speaker 3 (01:57):
For you?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Was this one where you had to go away and reflect?
Or did you know immediately the story you were going
to tell?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I definitely knew. Like going into it, I was like, yeap,
being an odd one out is about being an outsider.
And you know, I've sat outside of so many so
outside of so many communities, thankfully outside so that I
can enter new ones. But you know, as someone who's Filipino,
as someone who is big bodied and body positive and
(02:24):
someone who's queer, I sit outside of so many communities,
but relish in the ones that I do have and
can create, And so I definitely wanted to approach that
and use that approach in this episode. I'm hoping it
came through.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
This could be we don't know yet. This could be
your final story. It's the third one you've created for
us so far. Does How does that feel when you
sort of look back at the journey so far?
Speaker 1 (02:49):
It has been so incredibly fun. Like I signed up
for this project to really challenge myself, to really push
myself outside of my comfort zone, and I did the
exactly that. The point where I wouldn't change a thing,
I wouldn't change a thing, whatever fumble, whatever mistake, whatever
missed up I took throughout this whole process with these
three episodes, I'm going to accept them as they are,
(03:12):
and I'm excited. I'm so excited.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
I'm excited too. Let's hear it. This is your third
contribution to Find and Tell, and it's around the theme
of odd one Out.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I just wanted a double check. What was the largest
size you had in this shirt? I think extra large
was the largest. Sickon Farmers said, I double check. As
a big boy, my fashion options are mind the pun
pretty thin.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Yeah, it is the largest size.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Okay, cool, all good? Well I was after two X,
but if that's not available, I'm often relegated to Low's
or Kmart's big boy section, which usually means I have
two choices. Hawaiian shirt or vintage American motorway. Don't get
me wrong, loses fab but sixty trucky jest isn't my
(04:04):
personal asthetic, at least not yet. I've been chubbing my
whole life. I'm convinced my baby fat is still floating
around somewhere, perhaps in my left fly. When I grew
out of the larger size most stores carried, I abandoned
in store shopping altogether. I also got really tired of
(04:26):
only being able to buy bracelets and bags whenever I
went to the mall with my friends. I will acknowledge
that online shopping has opened up a whole new world
for me, and my options are expanding. But what about
when something I thought was my size doesn't fit right?
Or what if it looks a certain way in the
muddle but completely different on me, Or what if I
don't feel like contributing to tons of phost fashion waste.
(04:49):
I know the solution isn't always clear, but there's at
least one thing we can always rely on, and that's community.
I'm gonna handle this, Mike, Let's see if it's I
think it's all set on properly. Look good here, Oh gorgeous,
thank you, that's nice and clear. Enter Radically Soft, founded
(05:10):
by Fatty duo Tests and Cribs. Radically Soft is Sydney's
very first plus size clothing collective. This revolutionary movement aims
to serve the many fatties who struggle to find fashionable,
affordable and sustainable clothing. They run thrift markets exclusively seeking
and selling secondhand clothing sized sixteen to thirty and up.
(05:31):
As a society, we're at a stage where we can
both start and continue plus size clothing cycles and lifetimes.
And radically Soft is here to host and help for Tests.
Their motive and their purpose was crystal clear.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
I think we just saw that there wasn't anything here
like that and we wanted to be able to shop
as fat people and have fat community.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Community is at the core of this venture, and for
co founder Cribs, this defiant movement was also an act
of self love to create a space that didn't exist
for her and people like her.
Speaker 5 (06:07):
Yeah, I've been wanting just to find a place where
I could find clothes irl like in person, I mean,
it was probably a little bit selfish of me, but
also I was like, why don't we try and build
on the community that is here now and contribute to that.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I've been to one of their markets and the second
I entered, an immediate wave of relief came over me.
I was overwhelmed by choice, a feeling I've never experienced
before in a regular store. There were racks upon racks
of CUE clothing, all in my size, Like can you believe?
(06:45):
Like is this real? Radically Soft have made that shopping
experience a little bit more safe, easier, and more comfortable
for fat bodies. Co founder Test wants Radically Soft to
be more than just a market movement and a declaration,
one that celebrates and empowers bodies that sit outside the
(07:05):
fashion norm.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
With radically Solved, I think that all fat bodies are
radically solved. I think that in a world that actively
encourages anti fat bias and fat phobia, like just existing
in a fat body, like wow, we're existing, Like we're
really doing that. And I think to see I fat
people be joyful is just really like a real big
(07:28):
fuck you to the mainstream.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
Really just the act of wanting to create this project
was I think an act of radicalism in itself and
wanting to carve out this space for us.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
For the longest time, fat and fashionable were two very
mutually exclusive terms. In the early two thousands, supermodel Kate
Moss's mantra nothing tastes as good as skinny feels mirror
the heroin cheek fashion era of that time with a
zembic cheek. Right now in the thinness remains at the
center of each fashion trend, and in this raging war
(08:05):
of weight, the very fashionable test is on the front line,
challenging and changing perceptions of fatness and fashion.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
I feel like fashion to me is a way to
express who I am, but it also leans most likely
always being the best stress of the room and know
what acknowledging you. And I don't think that people that
aren't fat understand the experience of like trawling through oline stores,
trying to go in person and not being able to
(08:34):
find your size. There are so many levels to trying
to find fashion as a plus sized person, and I
think people should put some respects on us when we
are very fashionable.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Not to toot my own horn, but I think I
can throw it together a pretty mean fit myself. But
when you're dealing with mainstream markets that don't acknowledge body diversity,
it just becomes harder and harder to shop.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Don't even get me started on shopping online. For some reason,
you have to go to like the specific curve section
to find the fat clothing, because.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Like why, what should be an empowering and fun experience
soon becomes one of degradation and heartbreak.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
I just feel like that's also isolating, Like I just
don't understand why they all can't be together.
Speaker 6 (09:21):
Why do?
Speaker 5 (09:21):
I also kind of feels like it's hidden, and I'm like,
this is what we're talking about.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
For Tess, who grew up in the States, the traumatic
fat shopping experience is one they still carry even today.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
You go to the department store, you go to jas Pennies,
and there's always like when you're a kid, you go
into like the kids section, but because I was a
fat kid, I had to go into the junior section
even when I was like ten years old, and my
mom would take me and then I would be looking
at the stuf and be like, hey, all of this,
I hate all of it. It's like business attire for
fourteen year olds and I'm like ten, and my mom
(09:57):
would like pick things for me, give them to me,
and that I'd be like, they don't fit, and then
she'd be like, oh, okay, I'm gonna go get the
other size. And I think that those experiences as a kid,
even when I'm at the markets now, I am like,
I can't shop here. We made this for fat people
to shop, and I am like looking around and I'm like,
I still can't get anything because of that lifelong trauma
(10:18):
of having to go places of being like, is my
size here? Even though I'm in a space that I
know my size is gonna be, I'm like, I can't shop.
And I think that that is just so telling of
the fat experience, especially when you've like grown up fat. Yeah,
it's very isolating.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
It's a bit of an odd thing to say, but
there's some comfort in knowing I'm not the only one
feeling left out. There's still such a long way to go,
and as fatties, we never feel one hundred percent comfortable
in store are on site. However, in the meantime, here
are three ways you can be radically soft with yourself.
Number one, redefining what the word fat means and reworking
(10:57):
the concept of fatness in your head makes a massive
difference to how you approach your style and your fashion.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
I feel like my fatness is in a place now
where I am so joyful and being fat. I know
that there's a lot of things that society puts on
us that is negative about being fat, but now in
my life, I am like, I love floating, I love
being in the water. I love being able to give
warm hugs to my friends, and like embracing my friends
(11:27):
in that joyful way, Like I just see fatness as
being so beautiful and so sacred.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Number two, surround yourself with fat babes, whether that be
in real life or online. Fill your feeds with people
with a diverse range of body types and shapes. Where
no shortage of fat fashionistas on TikTok and Instagram. I
know it's easy to get lost in the standards set
by outdated esthetic decision makers, so you must turn to
(11:57):
community to break free of them.
Speaker 5 (11:59):
I don't want to say I'm like at full like
fat joy acceptance, but just being able to like be
soft and kind with myself as I go through all
these ebbs and flows of the way that I feel
about my body. But I know that when I'm around
beautiful fat people, I feel it. I feel so much
joy and love in my heart that I'm like, why
would I ever think this way? You know, if you
(12:22):
want to be surrounded by people who just love being
themselves and loving their body and acknowledge your fatness and
pretend like it doesn't exist.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
When you surround yourself with community and have open conversations
with others who have experienced the darkness that comes with
living in a fat phobic world, that shared struggle soon
becomes a silver lining, an uplifting joy that is sacred,
a little silly, but overall very wholesome.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
That body is like that, I want to show my
belly button, but I want to show in a way
that's sexy. I don't want to like have like my
whole belly.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Out, you know, Like I want to show my belly
button my crack, and you.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Can't show one without the other.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
Unfortunately, it's a real Sophie's choice.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Number three and this one's just from me. Don't get
caught up in the numbers for some reason. A two
excel in one brand is a four excel in another.
What is the sixteen to some is a ten to others.
So you must go with your gun. Literally, go with
your gun. There's nothing wrong with going up a digit,
especially when it concerns your comfort. Before I let you go,
(13:36):
I want to do a little exercise. No, not that time,
cheeky together. I want us to make an act of
reclamation of a word that, in twenty twenty four is
still so emotionally charged. Fat is just fat. That isn't ugly,
that isn't repulsive, that isn't evil, that isn't bad. Is
(14:00):
just fat. Stay it with me. Three to one fat? Wow,
you killed that one more time. I'm a three to
one fat. Oh how does that feel like a weight?
It's been lifted off your shoulder and it's huh beautiful.
Thank you so much for doing that with me. Trust
(14:20):
me when I say there is nothing to be afraid of.
So from one chunky babe to another, I'm wishing you
all the best with your next shop. I know this
might feel like an isolating experience, but you're not alone.
Speaker 7 (14:32):
I got your babe, Ditto, Mark.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I want to know when you were creating this episode,
who the audience was in your.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Mind's eye, Other fat babes. Yeah, definitely other fat babes.
I think I think every fat person would relate to this,
or at least most fat people would relate to this,
Just this experience of like going to a store not
finding something in their size, and like not being able
to like accurately put together a fit that you had
in your mind just because a store doesn't have this
(15:17):
thing in your size and in stock. Also, going into this,
you know, I wanted to put fat joy in a
positive light. I think, you know, fat people in general,
as depicted in mainstream media is so one sided and
so like they're the sidekick, they're the supporting character, And
I wanted to put fat people at the front in
(15:38):
this episode to really just celebrate who we are, our
physical selves and our inward selves as well. But I
think a larger message mind the pun, a larger message
being that, like you know, buddies are beautiful, we will
experience different body insecurities, and you know, we're getting into
a world and into a stage where we can directly
(16:01):
combat it and fight it together. So I'm happy. I'm
so happy with this episode.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Mark, what are you most proud of? Is there one
of the stories that you've told, one of the moments
that you had in an interview. What do you look
back on and think, Yeah, that I did that.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
I think with this last episode in particular, I strongly
believe that self love is a journey and not a destination.
I myself am on a tumultuous self love journey. There
are days where I like, I love my body, I
love my fatness, I love what it provides for other people.
And then other days where I'm just so down in
the dumps and just so like incredibly, just like deep
(16:43):
in this, like, oh my goodness, I hate myself.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
It.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
So what I loved and what I was most proud
of was just being able to connect one on one
with chosen family, with community members who knew exactly how
I felt, and I was able to have sort of
critical dialogue with them. It wasn't just like this silly
I feel this way. I feel this way. We had
some deep, deep thoughts, which is not readily accessible. It's
(17:12):
not something that we can find every day, finding people
who are willing to be vulnerable with you. And so
I'm truly just not proud of I'm proud of myself.
I'm so proud of myself. But I'm also so proud
of the people that came onto these episodes and bore
their soul out for everyone in the public to see.
It is such a hard thing, so I'm so proud
(17:32):
of them.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Mark, you should be proud of yourself. You have shared
some really fantastic stories with us. You've got such warmth
and character and energy. I have loved getting to know
you and listening to your stories. This could be your
final story for the show. We're going to find out
just a little bit later. But congratulations on everything you've
done so far. I'm looking forward to seeing whatever it
(17:55):
is you do next. Well.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
This is Fine and Tell and this week's theme is
odd one Out. We are so close to hearing who
our find and Tel finalists are going to be. But
before that, Ben has one more story to share. Ben,
welcome back. You must be feeling pretty good about yourself
(18:25):
winning your last two episodes.
Speaker 6 (18:27):
Yes, thanks again for having me. I'm happy to be here.
And yeah, two in the bag and one more to go.
Let's get it done.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Take me back to the beginning when you were just
sitting out on the process. Was there a point where
the work felt impossible, like you weren't going to get
it all done because it is like it is a
big workload that we've set you all.
Speaker 6 (18:48):
Yeah, I think I think I went into it first off,
in the back of my mind, I thought five to
ten minutes an episode, three episodes, easy, right? Absolutely not? No,
it was so much different work kind of going back
and forth. And you know, unfortunately, as we'll hear, sometimes
(19:10):
things don't always go to plants. So when you kind
of hit those speed bumps throughout, I guess chasing a
certain episode, can I e. A take the l or
you can roll with the punches?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Well, I want to hear about some of these speed bumps.
So let's get to the story. This is your third
contribution to find and tell odd one out.
Speaker 6 (19:28):
Actually, in the very beginning, I thought it was going
to be pretty easy. I thought, yeah, three short stories,
how hard can it be? But everyone's looking at me
really fucking weir because I've got a microphone on my face.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Here we go, Hello, how you doing?
Speaker 6 (19:52):
Do you mind if I pick a ear for a
second for a podcast? What I wasn't ready for was
just how many times I was going to get told no, no.
Speaker 7 (20:00):
No, no, no, no no no, yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 6 (20:05):
Cut to the middle of week two, and I've only
got one story in the bag, one interview that didn't
pan out, and another one that's canceled on me. I
don't think I'm going to be able to get this
done in time, so I start to go into a
little bit of panic mode. I go through my phone
contacts alphabetically. I'm posting Instagram stories and Facebook statuses in
(20:26):
the hopes of a long lost uncle or a childhood
friend would have a juicy topic for me to follow
up on, and still nothing. I start to get up
in my own head about it. I'm critiquing my ideas
before anyone else has even heard them. Now that sounds shit.
No one's going to want to listen to that. I
don't think I'm going to be able.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
To do this.
Speaker 6 (20:45):
I nearly quit a few times during this, just because,
you know, I just doubt dubated myself. But then, like
a sign from the heavens, a text from a friend
I hadn't heard from it in a while. Have you
heard of the Weed Church of Newcastle? I immediately hop online
(21:12):
and search we Church of Newcastle and there it is
the first search result, the Church of Umbuntu. At first glance,
it looks like an ordinary church website, but with one
curious difference. At the top of the homepage, the church
(21:33):
logo a dove with its wings in full flight holding
a cannabis leaf in its mouth.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
Too, wellness, clinic, can you hold the line please?
Speaker 6 (21:52):
Yet not a problem. Just to clarify, the voice you're
hearing at the moment isn't the reception. It's a reenactment
with a voice actor.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Good afternoon, Ubuntu, Wellness, This is Carol. How can I
help you?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Hi?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Carol? My name is Ben.
Speaker 6 (22:09):
I was wondering if Karen Burge was available, Uh, not.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Right at this moment? Can I leave a message for there? Yeah?
Speaker 6 (22:17):
Can you just let her know that Ben called guard now.
If I'm being honest, I didn't expect either response, but
to my surprise, Hi, Ben, this is Karen.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
From the Church of Mbantu. I had a message to
contact you.
Speaker 6 (22:29):
Yes, Hi Karen, how are you?
Speaker 3 (22:31):
I'm Glord, how are you going good? Thank you?
Speaker 6 (22:33):
I was contacting you in regard to doing a story
on the church.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Yeah. Absolutely, I'd been more than happy to sit down
and talk with you. Does tomorrow around two o'clock fit you?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (22:46):
Yeah, definitely tomorrow at two sounds great. I'll come out
to the church and see then.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Okay, thanks Ben, look forward to it.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
See you then, Thanks Karen, Thank you boy.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
I was excited.
Speaker 6 (22:58):
I was practicing reading my questions to my partner and
in the mirror to myself as well. The day of
the interview, I jump in my car and drive an
hour into Newcastle. I'm ten minutes away from the church
and my phone rings, Hello Ben speaking, Hi Ben, This
is Karen from the church. Oh, hi Karen, how are you.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
I don't think I'm going to be able to do
the interview today.
Speaker 6 (23:26):
Oh really? Okay, yeah, it's not a complete show that
they've pulled out last minute. Just a quick Google search
and you'll find a lot of criticism and controversy surrounding
the church. My guess is they're worried it'll bring too
much heat. Right, Okay, but I'm only ten minutes away.
I'd figure if I could just get face to face
(23:47):
with Karen, I might be able to get her to
change your mind. Well, I'm just around the corner on
my way in to see you. Is there any possibility
that maybe I could just sit down and have a
chat with you, and I'll just leave the recording equipment
in the car, and yeah, maybe we could just have
a chat and maybe go from there.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Is it? Okay?
Speaker 5 (24:08):
Yeah, sure if you want to come in and I could,
I could make you a cup of tea and I
mean we can just chat.
Speaker 6 (24:15):
Excellent, Okay, Well, yeah, I'm not too far away, so
I should be there in a couple of minutes and
I'll see you then.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Thanks Karen, All right, thanks, thanks Ben, Thanks boy.
Speaker 6 (24:29):
I arrive at the church. The front is boarded off,
so I go through the side entrance into their wellness center.
A step inside. Yep, this place smells like weed, hemp oils,
hemp creams, hemp soaps, hemp honeys, hempalm, hemp nectar for dogs.
(24:49):
The list goes on. Karen introduces herself as the vice
president of the church and the manager of the health clinic.
We sit down and chat over a cup of tea. Immediately,
I feel like I'm being treated with suspicion. Why are
you doing this? Who are you here for? What do
you want to know? What's the story about? After forty
(25:10):
five minutes of interrogation, Karen agrees to be interviewed the
following week, but only if she receives a copy of
the questions beforehand a bit of a red flag. But
if that's what it takes to get this story over
the line, I'll do it. So the day of the
interviews here, Karen's received my questions, and after breaking the
(25:33):
ice of her last week, I'm feeling confident about going
into today until no, no, no, not again, Hi Ben, Sorry,
I won't be able to have the interview today. It's
just not the right time. Apologies Karen, the audacity, the
indecency that Hi Ben. Is it possible to do two
(25:56):
pm Wednesday instead? Nikki another one of the founders, can
be here too, Carrot huh hy caring. Yes, it works
for me. Thank you so much for your response. I'll
see you two pm Wednesday. Con regards Ben, and straight
away I was just back to cloud nine again. I
was like yes, I was like, they've changed their mind. Hello, Ben,
(26:18):
I've had a meeting with our management team and I
feel as though we are not in a position to
talk on any of these questions right now. Sorry to
miss you around. We would be in a better position
to talk in a month or so if you'd like
to try again. Then that was like the moment where
I wanted to flip flip the table. If there was
a table, I would have flipped it. Yeah, it was
(26:38):
a yes, So then I no, and then yes. I'd
put myself out there. I'd cold called. I'd created rapport
of strangers even after I was told no. The first time,
I managed to salvage a sliver of hope, only to
have it crash and burn in the eleventh hour. I
told my producer what happened. He called me up and said,
you've got two options. Either start from scratch on a
(27:01):
whole new story. We'll try and find a story within this. No,
I don't think so. Men, you know who's going to
want to hear me talk about my problems? This is
me talking through the idea of my producer. You know,
we've all gone through struggles these last couple of weeks,
and everyone else pulled out stories out of their hat,
(27:23):
whereas me, What am I going to talk about? I'm
going to talk about my failure. But I'll be honest,
like I'm I'm I'm worried about releasing all of these stories,
you know, because I've been burnt in the past by
you know, people who just want to bring you down,
and if you try something new, and you step outside
(27:44):
of your comfort zone and you try to be creative,
and then someone shits on it and they bring you down.
I'm scared to kind of be on the receiving end
of all that sort of stuff. But if people are
going to judge me for it, and if people are
going to have something to say about it, fuck them.
I liked the idea of being able to bring a
realness to storytelling and explain that things don't always go
(28:11):
to plan, you know, just like in life. And I
think I've got to give myself a little bit of
credit because I've never done anything like this before as well,
so you know, what's the saying out of the frying
pan into the furnace. I would love to be a
voice for somebody who's going to do this in the future,
Like if there's a season two Will Find and Tell
and someone wants to listen to this episode, you know
(28:33):
it's going to give them a bit of an idea
to say, oh, actually no, this this is a normal feeling.
This is not abnormal. This is the process. Like anybody
else that wants to do this in the future, if
you feel like I did, someone that's like, hey, I've
got no idea, what I'm doing, what you're feeling. Trust me,
You're not alone because this is what I did. This
is how I failed, and this is how we still
(28:54):
created something with it.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Ben, you went through a whole rollercoaster of emotions making
that one, didn't you?
Speaker 7 (29:05):
I did?
Speaker 6 (29:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (29:07):
What were you afraid of happening if you didn't get
it done?
Speaker 6 (29:11):
Failure?
Speaker 7 (29:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (29:13):
I yeah, I did this. I did this not to win.
I did this because I wanted to prove to myself
that I could do it. It's been a very long
time since I've put myself outside of my comfort zone
and I've really tried to focus on something that I
(29:34):
wanted to do well. I've never really been a competitive person,
but I've always been somebody who wanted to make myself proud,
and not being able to finish was my biggest fear,
because I wouldn't be proud of myself if I didn't.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
This week's theme was odd one Out. I'm not gonna
put my own thoughts on it. I need to yours.
Why was this one the odd one out?
Speaker 6 (30:03):
I think with this one, I think I'm reflecting on
myself as being the odd one out of not actually
having a completed story to submit for the episode. I
think that in a way I had the idea of
obviously the church and the Angle and what I wanted
to do with it, and then for it to fall through.
(30:24):
To be the odd one out from these episodes is
to submit an episode of my own failure and my
own struggle to complete a podcast episode as well.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Now I like it. I feel like, you know, even
if the essence of the episode itself and the story
you were telling us wasn't necessarily within the theme clearly
of odd one Out, it's the odd one out in
your three podcasts, right, Yeah, it doesn't quite sit the
same way as the other two, But in one way
it's not. Because I keep thinking about there is a
bit of a common thread between your three in that
(30:57):
it feels a little bit like you were attempting a
love letter to regional Australia, Like this is such a
strong sense of place in each episode. Was that something
intentional or is that just part of who you are
and where you've grown up.
Speaker 6 (31:11):
I feel as though there's so many unheard stories in
regional Australia because they get looked over. Something as simple
as someone put in Teddy Bears and trees can turn
into like a beautiful story of somebody just trying to
make everyone else feel good. Yeah, and you're growing up
in the Ilaurora, you know, having so much different inspiration
that you can kind of draw off from down there
(31:33):
as well.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Ben, congratulations, I think it's a huge achievement.
Speaker 6 (31:36):
Thank you so much, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
So who found and told the best odd one out story?
And who will become our Find and Tel finalists? Find
out in just a moment. This is Find and Tell
and the theme this week was odd one Out. Now
Mark absolutely found his podcasting voice and greove this episode.
(32:06):
I thought it was a great choice of subject and
it showed us for a podcast that is all about inclusion,
that inclusion moves beyond race and gender. Mark's Oprah style
pet talk at the end was the most thoughtful combination
of motivation and empathy and recognition plus some information. Honestly,
I think he could have his own talk show. After
(32:27):
hearing that the episode introduction was also brilliant, he conveyed
how tense that situation was for him. Well done now,
Ben clearly had a real challenge getting this episode completed
on time, and so big props to him that he
got it done. I'm sure he won't be surprised to
hear that probably wasn't his strongest contribution. Ben's done a
(32:50):
really solid job with the audio he had, and he's
injected some fun into the hope and the disappointment of
landing and then losing an interview opportunity. I was most
impressed by Ben's moments of vulnerability, particularly in that monologue
at the end where he kind of unpacks his fear
of judgment. So, after hearing both stories, I've decided on
(33:16):
this week's winner, and hey, Mark, it's going to be you. Congratulations.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Oh that's so sick. Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Yeah. Oh it was honestly just the most stunning piece
of work. I feel like we've got such a strong
sense of who you are as a storyteller, but also like,
quite possibly as a future oprah.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Oh, thank you so much, Thank you so much. You
get a car, Thank you car a car.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
So the time has come to decide which of our
four storytellers will we going through to the finals, and
who we have to say goodbye to Naon, Mark, Ben
and Kate have all brought such unique perspectives to this series,
and I hope they are all incredibly proud of the
stories they've shared with me and with all of you
(34:16):
the audience. Each episode, two of our storytellers went head
to head, and each episode's winner received one point. Those
points have been tallied. Ben finished on two points, Naon
finished on one point, Kate finished on one point as well,
(34:40):
and Mark, who won today's episode, also finished on two points,
which means I'm not great at maths, folks, but i
can do the ones and twos. It means Mark and Ben, congratulations,
you are our finalists.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Oh my goodness, look at you, Look at us.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Well, we are well on the road. Now everyone to
crown our first ever winner of Find and Tell, so
that you both know you worked very very hard. You
told three incredible stories. You each earned two very important points.
But now none of that matters. Absolutely none of it matters.
The slate is wiped clean. We are going head to
(35:22):
head with our final story, and that is all that matters.
You're both going to be given the same theme, and
you'll have an entire episode to tell your story. That's
a whole lot more storytelling time. The theme is lost
in translation. I'm going to let you to think some more.
I'm going to let those cogs turn. Good luck. We
(35:44):
are going to hear from you very soon. I feel
really sad saying goodbye to Nayan and Kate because I
have loved working with them, and even more I have
loved listening to the stories that they told. Both of
them have improved so much across the series and they've
(36:05):
definitely surely inspired a few more future storytellers amongst all
of you listening right now. Ben and Mark are our
final two storytellers, and in our next couple of episodes,
they will battle it out to be crowned Australia's first
ever Find and Tell champion. You are not going to
want to miss this press follow in whichever podcast app
(36:26):
you're listening on and I will see you at the finale.
A big thank you to our show partners Afters and
Road Australia. Find and Tell is a co production between
iHeart Australia and the black Cast podcast network. Black Cast
empowers First Nations people and people of color to reclaim
their narratives, strengthen cultural identity, and contribute to a more
(36:49):
inclusive Australia by showcasing exciting emerging talent from Australian communities,
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