December 8, 2025 • 7 mins
Burgo and Hayley are discussing secrets and relationships. We're talking about whether you should automatically tell your partner a secret someone shares with you. I'm sharing my own double standards on this, and it's making me question my assumptions. We're exploring what it means to trust our partners and when it's okay to keep a secret. I'm also sharing a personal experience that's got me thinking about the guilt of sharing someone's secret. Join us as we dive into the complexities of relationships and the secrets we keep.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Virgin and I are currently talking about this at the moment.
Our relationships are intertwined, if you haven't worked that out
already on this show. In that my best friend Lauren,
who's my other half of ade Lady, is also your
partner and the mother of your child. So we are
very intertwined, the three of us, and.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
So four of us, your husbands and my husband.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
So when I tell Lauren something and it's a secret,
I hope that she doesn't tell you.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Yeah, but I also hope that you're not keeping secrets
from me.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Yeah. It's very it's very messy.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
The thing is, though, what do you think do you
think if someone tells you a secret, you automatically tell Lauren?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Okay, so I've got double standards for this. I will
tell Lauren everything. But the other day I told him
mate some personal secret stuff and I said, don't tell
your wife. And then I saw the wife and I said, oh,
did Andy tell you? And she said, yes, of course
he did.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
See.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
I respect when you don't. My husband's very good with
that kind of thing. I'm I'm less good with that
kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
The fact that if you don't tell your partner then
you're you're kind of betraying.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Them if it's got something to do with them, if
it affects them.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yes, you shouldn't feel the need to keep anything from
your partner.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
No, but if someone tells you a secret, like if
my best friend said to me, don't tell anyone about something,
I don't tell anyone, not even.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Your partner who you share a bed with at night,
like you know, because.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
I'm do you know what the guilt kicks in. Do
you ever feel guilty when you tell someone's secret? Does
that ever occur to Oh? I feel sick in the timing.
I shouldn't be telling you this because when the more
people you tell, the less diluted, The more diluted it becomes,
and then they don't care about ramifications of telling other
people when it gets out, and then it's like back
(01:46):
on you.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
And your partner should be one and I think you
should be in a relationship where you trust your partner
to literally keep those and hold those secrets to the grave.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
I don't know. I disagree.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
I think if I tell my one of my best
friends something, take away Lauren from this situation, one of
my best friends something, I would be upset if they
told their partner. But I think it's just between it's
a girl thing, it's between the two of us. No,
I respect Jimmy that he doesn't tell me things I
don't know. I think I would love to know the
rules with this, what.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
If there are any rules? But it is actually very
interesting to see what most people do, because I just
always thought that people naturally just told their partner because
it's the person they're with, it's the person they've chosen
to like, do life with. They trust them the most,
and you should know everything about each other's life.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
If I was to tell you a secret now, yeah,
and I said, don't tell Lauren, Well, it.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Depends on if it's going to hurt her or not.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Yeah, But what would you do if I said, if
I said to you, don't tell your partner, would you
just automatically tell her or do you and lie to me?
Speaker 2 (02:47):
It would really depend what it was.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Oh see that now, I'm like, that changes my whole
view of telling you secret.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Really. Yeah, I just thought people did this. I thought
people just communicated and trusted their partner is enough to
be able to share that information, and.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
It's the information to share it.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
But it's also not telling another gossipy friend. It's telling
your partner and if they have got your best interest
at heart, they're not going to spread that further.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
See you, Jimmy's not a gossipy person whereas you are,
so I'd be careful to tell you so because you've
got a massive amount you tell everybody thinks I just
like your share the biggest gossip person.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
All right, thirty one or two three?
Speaker 1 (03:26):
What's the rule if someone tells you a secret? Do
you automatically tell your partner and hasn't got you into
trouble before?
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (03:31):
And yes, so our fair.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Burgo and I were having a little conversation. We want
you to weigh in on this because background, my best
friend Lauren, my other half of Adelaidy, is also Burgo's partner.
So we are all intertwined, the three of us plus
my husband, we are all one.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
And when I tell Lauren.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
A secret, I assume that she doesn't go straight away
and tell Burgo. And we want to know what the
rules are because I respect my husband that he doesn't
tell me things. If someone says don't tell your wife.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, but you should also respect and trust your partner
enough to be able to share whatever between each other
and know that it's not going to go further.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Yeah, but it's not their news anyway.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
This is our situation. We've been having this fight offair,
so we want you to tell us what the right
thing to do is. Norell in Woodville, what do you think?
Speaker 5 (04:16):
I'm totally on your side. Never ever ever tell your
partner my best friends, your best friends, your relationships with them.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
How about women? Women always have trust issues for their
men for whatever reason. Actually, men are the ones that generalize.
I don't know. Men are now actually ones that need
to mistrust women because you guys have a whole stack
of secrets about you.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
If you break up right then of information that you
were meant to have.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
But the same thing can happen with a friendship. A
friendship can break up and someone's got information on the other.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I think it's a women to women have this sacred relationship.
Maybe men don't have this where we keep secrets together.
It's your secret and I will keep it for you.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Why is a friend in a more elevated position that
they deserve the secret and your partner does it?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Partner, so are you going to el.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
So Romata have our own friendships. Our female friendship, as
Hailey is saying, is totally different. I might say something
my personal that I don't want. I don't want my
husband to me and I've married twenty years and I
never said any secret that was told to me.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
And that's what makes women untrustworthy.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
No, that's the sisterhood that makes us trustworthy because we
keep each other's Secret's got nothing to do with you.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I love this so in North Haven? What do you think,
good morning?
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Well, when I was pregnant and I wanted to know
the sex of the baby, and my partner didn't want
to know the sex of the baby, and he said
we were not going to find out the sex of
the baby. So I went behind his back and I
found out the sex of the baby, and I told
my mum the sex of the baby because she keeps secrets,
(06:00):
and then we would go shopping for the sex of
that baby, and we just kept everything at my mum's
house in the spare rooms. But he never knew that
either of us knew.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I love this. Does he know now?
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Oh? Oh oh yeah, god, yeah yeah no.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
The sex of the baby? Does he did?
Speaker 4 (06:19):
He?
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Does he know that you kept this secret from him?
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Oh yeah, but we're not together anymore. I mean it's amicable,
but because we've got that child, But are you anymore?
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Because he couldn't trust.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I know what suit, I had planned on doing the
same thing. If Jim had said to me I don't
want to know the sextor the baby, I did, I
was totally gone and find out.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
So did you ever feel bad like you were betraying
him and knew something that?
Speaker 4 (06:44):
God no, God no, he was trying to spoil it
for me. I like to be prepared.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Yeah, I get that, Sue, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
After the housemaid Sue, Yes, enjoy marshallow.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
You sound like a delicious marshmallow. What are your thoughts
on this?
Speaker 6 (07:00):
I just think no, absolutely not. If someone in trusts
you with some information, then you don't divulge that to anybody.
Loose lips sink ships. The only time you divulge is
if it's you know, life threatening. No secret is a
secret for a reason.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Otherwise there's no such thing as a secret.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
It's all women saying no, you guys are all right.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Secret Dude's come out of the woodwork. Tell us what you.
Speaker 6 (07:27):
Think, Max, Max, looselips sink ships. If they wanted you
to know. They would have told your wife or you.
But oh sorry, sorry, but you know what I mean.
You know I mean it's a secret. They're telling that
person they're interrusting you. You don't share it.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
I actually think this has just highlighted something that we
have that men don't have, and that's.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
A sisterhood you don't have. It's sacred, it really is.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Thanks, you're off to the house maid. You've got a
double pass. Okay,
Virgin and I are currently talking about this at the moment.
Our relationships are intertwined, if you haven't worked that out
already on this show. In that my best friend Lauren,
who's my other half of ade Lady, is also your
partner and the mother of your child. So we are
very intertwined, the three of us, and.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
So four of us, your husbands and my husband.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
So when I tell Lauren something and it's a secret,
I hope that she doesn't tell you.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Yeah, but I also hope that you're not keeping secrets
from me.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Yeah. It's very it's very messy.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
The thing is, though, what do you think do you
think if someone tells you a secret, you automatically tell Lauren?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Okay, so I've got double standards for this. I will
tell Lauren everything. But the other day I told him
mate some personal secret stuff and I said, don't tell
your wife. And then I saw the wife and I said, oh,
did Andy tell you? And she said, yes, of course
he did.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
See.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
I respect when you don't. My husband's very good with
that kind of thing. I'm I'm less good with that
kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
The fact that if you don't tell your partner then
you're you're kind of betraying.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Them if it's got something to do with them, if
it affects them.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yes, you shouldn't feel the need to keep anything from
your partner.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
No, but if someone tells you a secret, like if
my best friend said to me, don't tell anyone about something,
I don't tell anyone, not even.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Your partner who you share a bed with at night,
like you know, because.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
I'm do you know what the guilt kicks in. Do
you ever feel guilty when you tell someone's secret? Does
that ever occur to Oh? I feel sick in the timing.
I shouldn't be telling you this because when the more
people you tell, the less diluted, The more diluted it becomes,
and then they don't care about ramifications of telling other
people when it gets out, and then it's like back
(01:46):
on you.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
And your partner should be one and I think you
should be in a relationship where you trust your partner
to literally keep those and hold those secrets to the grave.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
I don't know. I disagree.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
I think if I tell my one of my best
friends something, take away Lauren from this situation, one of
my best friends something, I would be upset if they
told their partner. But I think it's just between it's
a girl thing, it's between the two of us. No,
I respect Jimmy that he doesn't tell me things I
don't know. I think I would love to know the
rules with this, what.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
If there are any rules? But it is actually very
interesting to see what most people do, because I just
always thought that people naturally just told their partner because
it's the person they're with, it's the person they've chosen
to like, do life with. They trust them the most,
and you should know everything about each other's life.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
If I was to tell you a secret now, yeah,
and I said, don't tell Lauren, Well, it.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Depends on if it's going to hurt her or not.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Yeah, But what would you do if I said, if
I said to you, don't tell your partner, would you
just automatically tell her or do you and lie to me?
Speaker 2 (02:47):
It would really depend what it was.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Oh see that now, I'm like, that changes my whole
view of telling you secret.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Really. Yeah, I just thought people did this. I thought
people just communicated and trusted their partner is enough to
be able to share that information, and.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
It's the information to share it.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
But it's also not telling another gossipy friend. It's telling
your partner and if they have got your best interest
at heart, they're not going to spread that further.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
See you, Jimmy's not a gossipy person whereas you are,
so I'd be careful to tell you so because you've
got a massive amount you tell everybody thinks I just
like your share the biggest gossip person.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
All right, thirty one or two three?
Speaker 1 (03:26):
What's the rule if someone tells you a secret? Do
you automatically tell your partner and hasn't got you into
trouble before?
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (03:31):
And yes, so our fair.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Burgo and I were having a little conversation. We want
you to weigh in on this because background, my best
friend Lauren, my other half of Adelaidy, is also Burgo's partner.
So we are all intertwined, the three of us plus
my husband, we are all one.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
And when I tell Lauren.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
A secret, I assume that she doesn't go straight away
and tell Burgo. And we want to know what the
rules are because I respect my husband that he doesn't
tell me things. If someone says don't tell your wife.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, but you should also respect and trust your partner
enough to be able to share whatever between each other
and know that it's not going to go further.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Yeah, but it's not their news anyway.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
This is our situation. We've been having this fight offair,
so we want you to tell us what the right
thing to do is. Norell in Woodville, what do you think?
Speaker 5 (04:16):
I'm totally on your side. Never ever ever tell your
partner my best friends, your best friends, your relationships with them.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
How about women? Women always have trust issues for their
men for whatever reason. Actually, men are the ones that generalize.
I don't know. Men are now actually ones that need
to mistrust women because you guys have a whole stack
of secrets about you.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
If you break up right then of information that you
were meant to have.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
But the same thing can happen with a friendship. A
friendship can break up and someone's got information on the other.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I think it's a women to women have this sacred relationship.
Maybe men don't have this where we keep secrets together.
It's your secret and I will keep it for you.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Why is a friend in a more elevated position that
they deserve the secret and your partner does it?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Partner, so are you going to el.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
So Romata have our own friendships. Our female friendship, as
Hailey is saying, is totally different. I might say something
my personal that I don't want. I don't want my
husband to me and I've married twenty years and I
never said any secret that was told to me.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
And that's what makes women untrustworthy.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
No, that's the sisterhood that makes us trustworthy because we
keep each other's Secret's got nothing to do with you.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I love this so in North Haven? What do you think,
good morning?
Speaker 4 (05:40):
Well, when I was pregnant and I wanted to know
the sex of the baby, and my partner didn't want
to know the sex of the baby, and he said
we were not going to find out the sex of
the baby. So I went behind his back and I
found out the sex of the baby, and I told
my mum the sex of the baby because she keeps secrets,
(06:00):
and then we would go shopping for the sex of
that baby, and we just kept everything at my mum's
house in the spare rooms. But he never knew that
either of us knew.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I love this. Does he know now?
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Oh? Oh oh yeah, god, yeah yeah no.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
The sex of the baby? Does he did?
Speaker 4 (06:19):
He?
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Does he know that you kept this secret from him?
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Oh yeah, but we're not together anymore. I mean it's amicable,
but because we've got that child, But are you anymore?
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Because he couldn't trust.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I know what suit, I had planned on doing the
same thing. If Jim had said to me I don't
want to know the sextor the baby, I did, I
was totally gone and find out.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
So did you ever feel bad like you were betraying
him and knew something that?
Speaker 4 (06:44):
God no, God no, he was trying to spoil it
for me. I like to be prepared.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Yeah, I get that, Sue, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
After the housemaid Sue, Yes, enjoy marshallow.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
You sound like a delicious marshmallow. What are your thoughts
on this?
Speaker 6 (07:00):
I just think no, absolutely not. If someone in trusts
you with some information, then you don't divulge that to anybody.
Loose lips sink ships. The only time you divulge is
if it's you know, life threatening. No secret is a
secret for a reason.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Otherwise there's no such thing as a secret.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
It's all women saying no, you guys are all right.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Secret Dude's come out of the woodwork. Tell us what you.
Speaker 6 (07:27):
Think, Max, Max, looselips sink ships. If they wanted you
to know. They would have told your wife or you.
But oh sorry, sorry, but you know what I mean.
You know I mean it's a secret. They're telling that
person they're interrusting you. You don't share it.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
I actually think this has just highlighted something that we
have that men don't have, and that's.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
A sisterhood you don't have. It's sacred, it really is.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Thanks, you're off to the house maid. You've got a
double pass. Okay,
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