🍺 PUB TEST: Would You Tell Your Best Mate You Don't Like Their Partner?

Does telling your mate that you don't like their partner pass the pub test?

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Thursday is great because we get on down to the
jonesy demand of arms for the pub test.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
The pub test top test does not past the pub.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
Test hub test to test up test test.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
The pub test.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
Doesn't pass the stiff test.

Speaker 4 (00:13):
Stop it, it's not helpful.

Speaker 5 (00:15):
Interesting one today This was in the New York Times magazine.
A reader asked the ethicist column a columnist telling saying
that my husband has a wife we don't like. No,
that would be you. My husband has a best friend
and we don't like his wife. And she's saying, do

(00:36):
I encourage my husband to tell his friend the truth
as to why we're why we're growing apart? Because the
husband's friend was saying, why don't we see you anymore?
He asked the question she's saying, or do we just
continue to silently grow apart? I feel my husband owes
it to him as a friend to explain his wife
is someone we don't want in our lives. It's none
of your business. I don't think you can do it.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
The go to it was a reverse so world. If
it was the guy who was the peace work, that
would come out. But this where we are now?

Speaker 5 (01:04):
Do you think that a woman would tell a woman,
we don't like your husband.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
Yeah, yep, yeah, and you would and you would say,
but you'd say it in a you know what, women
are really good at being diplomatic, so you would be
very diplomatic about it, and so the message men can't
candicate that.

Speaker 5 (01:18):
I don't think this is a message anyone wants to hear.
Because someone says, hey, we don't feel great about your partner,
that person, if they're a good person, will defend their partner.
There's no winners in this. It's up to you to
deal with how you want to see your friend and
his partner. But you cannot say.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
You don't like hiding to nowhere.

Speaker 5 (01:33):
So telling you mate you don't like their partner, as
it pass the pub test.

Speaker 4 (01:37):
Well, you can't because it's not so much just your
make that if it's actually a family member and it's
a woman involved making all those accusations, you'll lose the
rest of your family. So you can't. You've got to
suck it up and just take it as it is.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
Oh, you know what, you're going to ruin a friendship
because friends and parents laws, no one's going to get
on one hundred percent. I would just say keep it
a hush, hush. You don't want to ruin a friendship
over that, because then you could just not double date
with your friend and not see him as much. But
I would not tell him.

Speaker 4 (02:14):
I have a friend that was in a similar position,
and it was so far to the point that she
was actually emotionally manipulating in him and yet.

Speaker 3 (02:25):
Affecting his mental health. So I think sometimes you do
have to say something because they need to know that
you have stepped up support days. He raised a very
valid point, and I think it would all be almost
uncountable the amount of relationships that have ended when women
have told their friend, but men, on the other hand,
keep their mouths shut. That's your mate. You just put
up with his missions. That's just the way it is.

(02:47):
You make allowances for your mate, and one of the
one of the allowances is if you don't like his missus.
That's the Elsie way.

Speaker 5 (02:52):
Yeah, he interesting opinions that are like the one that
she's affecting his mental health. Maybe you do need to say, what.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
If your missus walks out of a hotel Sands Underwear,
what your missus but your mate's

Speaker 5 (03:02):
Misses it's a hotel called Sands Underwear, Then it's okay,