💩 When's The Worst Time To Have A Dodgy Tummy?

Wait until you hear these stories!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you're listening to the Jonesy and Amanda podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Bad Time for Dodgy Tummy.

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Yeah, Amanda is in New Town.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
Amanda, Hello, and thank you for joining me on my
drive home. Guys, I'm loving you.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Oh, thank you, Amanda. We're thrilled to be here. And
have you had an unfortunate experience with a bad.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
Time and we're candy coating this, Amanda, I do.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
It's a slightly complicated story which I'm going to try
and keep really tight. On my way to a very
fancy dinner at a fancy hotel in the city with
some girlfriends, started to feel incredibly unwell. Took myself to
the toilet. Sitting on the toilet torrent of the brown
stuff for the very first time in my life, realized
I needed to cut let it come out at the

(00:50):
other end, and thought, surely if I turn around, I'll
be able to stop one when the other starts. Clearly not.
But the worst thing was this was in a restaurant
which at the time had had a gimmick.

Speaker 4 (01:05):
It was a frosted.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
Glass bathroom door. That's when you were sitting on it,
it turned clear, No, I am it is a true story.
Stewing my past up, crapping out the other ends, and
I turn around and is a woman staring at me
at the scene.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
No night there, I'm going to have a nightmare.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
Can I commend you on candy coating? That's too excise?

Speaker 2 (01:33):
That's horrific. Oh can I go on? I don't know
if I can't, Julianne Illo, Julianne Hi, right. What was
your bad time for a dodgy tummy?

Speaker 4 (01:46):
Oh? When I don't, I have a dodgy tummy. But
this one was when I was working for my parents'
business and I had been struggling going to the bar room,
so like I took like a huge amount of laxities
and my parents had to take away food business, and

(02:09):
right in the middle of trying to serve everybody, the
laxity has decided that they were going to work. So
I then bolted to the bathroom did what I needed
to do, but I had completely and utterly soiled everything
that I had on from the waist down, so I

(02:29):
literally had to stick toilet paper up my butt to
go back to the back of the shop to get
my mum to go and buy me some new underwear
and shots.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
No, well, you're in the middle of serving people. Imagine
someone's waiting for their meal.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yes, yeah, And Julianne, might I commend you as well
for candy coating.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
Imagine if we were.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
Candy coat are you people having trouble with Oh, you
were still kept doing what they do.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Martin, Hello, Martin Woodscray, you understand tell us about the
dodgy tom Okay.

Speaker 5 (03:07):
William Mum got tickets and we went to anzac Cove,
Gallipoly in twenty fifteen. Anyway, after a couple of weeks
of having the local food, we decided to go to
Heartbreak Coat sorry, the hard Rock Hotel and have a
couple of cocktails. Unfortunately, after a couple of weeks of
salad and the good stuff, the stomach started rumbling. So

(03:28):
walking down your stand, bull, you know, probably five thousand
people around me, desperately looking for a toilet. Anyway, I
see this mosque, Can I see public toilet? So I
run up. By this time, the stomach's literally churning, you
can hear it anyway, So I hand over my money,
rushed through the little sick thing that they put you through,
thinking oh yeah, it's going to have a nice toilet here.

(03:49):
Run down the stairs, being the only western are in
about twenty men. People are starting to look at me,
open the door, up, shut the door, pulling me pants
down literally on my to me knees. Then I looked
and said, oh, there's no toilet. There's a hole in
the floor. There's a hose on the wall, and a
little jug to wash yourself afterwards. Anyway, I thought too bad,

(04:12):
so I turned around, and let's just say, if you
ever seen a cow in a paddic, lift its tail
and let rip. All I'll say on the subject is
by the time I finished, I had to wash the
back wall on the two side walls. And the good
thing is I was actually cleaning.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
The good thing Martin, Well, the.

Speaker 6 (04:31):
Good thing is I didn't actually get any on myself.
There was no toilet paper like she had to use
me scrubs And unfortunately for the next person they would
have found a pair of undies in the corner.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Oh wow, oo traveled so broadening, isn't it.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
Did you take your shoes up before you went into
the Mosque International Incident? Martin, thank you for candy coding.
Helio is with us.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
Hello, Ilio, how are you?

Speaker 7 (04:58):
Oh guys there you're going, well, what happened? I happened
a few years ago. I took some dieters to one
morning or the night before, and got on the semi
trailer and started driving to work, when all of a sudden,
the stomach started to brew. Panicking, there was no way
I was going to make it back to the yard.
So I pulled over and I had some work boots

(05:22):
in a box, which I took out the boots and
proceeded to do what I needed to do, thinking I
would have made it back to work. I got to
the M five exit on King George's Road and it
started to feel plenty again. Pulled over and panic, nothing

(05:43):
else to do it in, went outside, found a bucket
in our toolbox, and proceeded to finish off what I started.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
Can I ask you hear it was the first bit
in the shoe box or in the boots.

Speaker 7 (05:57):
I should have done it in the boots because I
had to give him to a guy. I didn't lie
but them.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
Now you know, I think we're done here?

Speaker 2 (06:07):
Do you think? Thank you for sharing, Thanks thanks for
candy coating.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
Thank you for candy coating that