Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is Christmas time. I have already started doing some
of my Christmas shopping, which is unusual for me.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I'm very importing.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Some people have been doing it for weeks, but I
went in for probably about two weeks ago for the
first time to do a bit of a reconnaissance mission
looking for ideas. I noticed a certain theme. Still, toilet
humor is definitely in this Christmas. I think that the
stockists at Kmart in this case have been inspired a
(00:28):
little too much by South Park Christmas.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Hello mister Hanky and Merry Christmas. You see wis thanks
sir Christmas out here?
Speaker 1 (00:45):
I mean now, on one shelf I found a fart machine. Yeah,
with fifteen oh different, what is that fart sounds? Sorry, Look,
I'm very sorry for anybody having breakfast at the moment.
But hey, look, I'm just going to tell it as
it is at the moment, because if you go into
the shops this is going to confront you too. There
(01:07):
is a toilet timer that you can buy where you
can let others know when it's safe to go. It
ranges from safe to enter to pretty pongy to warning toxic.
There is a toilet basketball set slam dunk while you, yeah,
slam dunk, while you well, you know, slam dunk. Now
(01:27):
I found something for you, Lisa, did you I did.
I found something that you didn't. No, I did butt
put butt head that has that's the image. It has
six different sound effects.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Oh, no, I had an image of something else. It
wouldn't have been in the toy department.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
The fishing for floaters poop game. What No, I'm serious.
This is on the shelves the car.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Don't fishing fom floated.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I don't condone this. I am just reporting the facts
back to you. This is what could be turning up
under Christmas trees all the world, all around Australia, certainly
all around Earth.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Is Christmas knucklebones or coplunk or any of that coplunk?
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah, I think that might be the toilet bas Let.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Me pick another game, hungry Hungry her bos No.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Just farty stuff.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
That's farty stuff. No, toilet humor is definitely the theme
this Christmas. It's in So if that is your thing, yes,
you'll definitely find it. Now, this is what I saw.
It came up, but I'm sure they're not the only
ones doing it. These are the gifts to give this
Christmas to someone, to someone you love, okay, because nothing
(02:58):
says or sells Christmas.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Quite like Chrismere's time wouldn't be the same without hugs
and kisses in a poochy train because, as you just
discovered recently, rustle the shelves.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
As I wash, As I so eloquently put.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
It, the shoves are a wash with toilet humor games
for kids, and it would seem that not much has changed,
because it reminds me of the toy that my nieces,
my great nieces Taylor and Charlie god but bos of
us about ten years ago, now it's a while ago,
called Doggie Do, the board game that involves a toy
(03:38):
sausage dog which you fed plaster sini stuff too and
then squeezed its lead up. You roll the dice and
squeezed the lead as the plast scene passes through said
toy sausage dog, and when it comes out the other side,
you're the loser.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
This is basically how the ad went.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
If you poofs you lose one one, listen to the
nicest thing mate, three ah.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
And with that it came out and he lost the game?
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Was that in the educational Department, because I'm thinking that's
really handy for kids who want to become vets. You
know what I'm saying. It's like, this is how it
works kids.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I just googled is the Doggy Doo Game educational?
Speaker 3 (04:40):
And it says the game not only entertains, but also
helps develop fine motor skills, encourages friendly competition among players.
It's a fantastic way for kids to bond with their
peers while enjoying a lighthearted and silly theme.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Well, we did a fair bit of bonding over it.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
That day, that's for sure, mostly as older ones there.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
That's not too bad. It was just purple plus.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
That's all right.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
But yeah, that was the Doggie Doo Game.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
I wonder what's going to be under the tree this year?
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Sounds like a matel classic.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Right, Let's get a dowling downs. Good morning, Kristen, morning christ.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Morning, guys.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
How are you good?
Speaker 2 (05:25):
What was under the tree?
Speaker 5 (05:29):
This is what I've recently seen on TIMU as a
docking stuffer. Okay, it's a plus six seven doll. So
it's a number six, a number seven joined together with
arms and legs and eyes.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Oh my god, this six seventh thing is just out
of control. I still don't understand it, and I don't
want it.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
I don't know. Yeah, well you've got a better chance
than me.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Yeah, well that's that's if I bothered to inquire. I
don't know, Christen, I think I'd rather the toilet toilet,
maybe a bit of slam dunk on the back.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Of the wall, tu under the tree.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Thanks Kristen, thank you. Yeah, the gift that keeps giving
for Christmas.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Up, I have seen you have sent through the most
disturbing photo that I had laid eyes on this week.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Anyway, talk us through it.
Speaker 6 (06:25):
Yeah, my daughter she wanted to go see the municipal
Waist concert and I only had a set of tickets
for a Christmas present, which would have.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Been a cart Yeah.
Speaker 6 (06:36):
And anyway, she may be going watch Sore ten I
think it was ten or eleven, one of them. Yeah,
I had to go watch that.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (06:45):
And then as a joke on Marketplace, I've seen a
necklace of ears. I think it's the Walking Dead.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Yes, it's Darren's necklace much yes, yeah.
Speaker 6 (06:57):
Oh yeah, collectible and anyway, so it never got used,
but apparently you just hang it around your neck and
it puts a fragrance on your like a necklace, but
you don't actually wash yourself with it.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Oh you don't use it like a soap on a rope.
Speaker 6 (07:10):
You just no, no, you just hang it around your
neck and jumped. I think it's like in a box
frame from Red Dott or whoever.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
It's beautiful, it's original, it's glorious.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Thank you Paul.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
That's going to stay with me all day.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
And I thought what I saw on the shelves was tacky.
That nothing compared to the dead the walking on a rope.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Daryl made that necklace, I think to mask his smell
or something from the walkers. And if you're looking for
something under the tree for this year, I saw a
fantastic meme the other day from from from a mum
who said every package, jar and carton and boxer goes
back in the pantry and fridge empty.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
From her family, it's getting wrapped up and going under the.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
I want to do that.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
You should.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yes spoiled Christmas and send them a message at the
same time.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Yes, it's a little educational experiment.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Coral in high Wickham weirdest thing under the tree?
Speaker 7 (08:20):
Oh hi there, good morning. So my dad is an
avid jigsaw man. So last Christmas, the grandkids are brought
in this fantastic jigsaw puzzle one thousand pieces, and in
keeping with your Pooh theme, it was a hundred pooping puppy.
Speaker 8 (08:40):
God.
Speaker 7 (08:41):
He was pretty much disgusted because he's such a jigsaw enthusiast.
He did it, and he goes it was all green
grass and trees, puppies and all this brown stuff. So
he did it and then he gave it back to
me and said I want to see it again.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
He didn't get it put on a board and framed
and up on the wall. The kids for the achievement
of putting it together.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
The kids must have thought it was the funniest thing
that had ever happened in the history of funny things.
Speaker 7 (09:12):
Absolutely, everyone can have a flower jigsaw. Yeah no, this
was puppies. I think you can get a calendar now, but.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Lovely yes, calendars, no much, it's not the same, you know, challenge.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
No, no thanks. Definitely a theme under the tree.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah, it seems to be so weirdest thing under the
tree we could be this Christmas could be last Christmas
from many Christmases ago.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Have you seen the have you seen the text Murray
is just sent through the Pooping puppy calendar.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Google it.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
It's twenty twenty six.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
So it says dogs pooping in beautiful places.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Dogs spoiling otherwise perfect photos. Oh no, so there you go.
There's a gift giving idea for you right there. Just
google it dogs pooping in Beautiful Places for twenty twenty.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
In Hillary has to say, there was once a six
pack of ringpool cans of Chardonnaye under the tree.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Bernard King would be rolling in his grave.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Classy, classy.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
First, do you remember the Bernadettes burned King and the
Bernadettes would all be rolling in their grave. And Bowen
Rockingham says he got that dog pooping calendar. It's a
calendar of dogs pooping in beautiful places as a secret
stantic if from work two years ago. It couldn't even
give it away, nobody wanted it. It's never been used.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Didn't even hang it up himself. Unbelievable. Serena is in Quanana.
Good morning, Serena, good morning.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
What's under the tree.
Speaker 9 (10:56):
Well, we have an extended family Christmas every day. Yeah,
and theme is bad taste skiffs.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Oh nice.
Speaker 9 (11:03):
Yeah, So there's lots of things, But in keeping with
your poo sme, the best one was my nephew's fart
in a jar.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Fart in a jar?
Speaker 9 (11:15):
Can I tell you like it was a real one, a.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
Real one, verified fart in a jam because he opened
it and.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Your family's next level, Serena.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Honestly, what is with the theme of these Christmas times?
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Christmas has gone off the rails.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
This is not what it used.
Speaker 9 (11:41):
There's a few that I can't mention on the radio.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Yes, I bet it sounds like fu though, oh my god,
it is fun.
Speaker 9 (11:47):
And there's a few that do the rounds, like the
big granny nickers with a crutch.
Speaker 8 (11:51):
Cutter out.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Get three gifts of year after year.
Speaker 9 (11:55):
Yeah, and the that's a phelic symbol.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Which okay, yes.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
We may have seen that one, that one adventure BALI
all right, thanks, Serena, Serena, I hope you get something
nice this year. Good Lord, Christy.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
And Merriton, good morning, good morning, are you good? What
was the weirdest thing that was under the Christmas tree?
Speaker 8 (12:22):
Well, I've never heard of it before. I got one,
and I'd to think you guys having It's called a brush?
What a liky brush?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
A likky brush.
Speaker 8 (12:30):
Yeah, so it's a it's a cat tongue and you
stick it in your mouth and it's got the form
of a cat tongue with a little spokesman.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
No, oh, that's an icky brush, not a liky brush.
Speaker 8 (12:44):
You can google it if you want to have a
look at a best part. It glows in the dark.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
So yeah, you wouldn't look weird at all using all that.
Speaker 6 (12:56):
I didn't use it.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
No, so where is it?
Speaker 8 (13:00):
Well, it's taking an adventure with the bin.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Is it is? It?
Speaker 7 (13:04):
Was?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
It? Is it to clean your tongue?
Speaker 8 (13:08):
No, it's not a cat if you've got a cat. Yeah, yeah,
so you stick it in your mouth and the cat's
supposed to come up and he rubbed themselves and oh
backs yourselves on your the liky tongue.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Oh my god, I love my cats.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
But it's really not like that.
Speaker 8 (13:23):
Yeah. But that's so if you google you'll see pictures
of it.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
There you go, perfect for regifting.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
I think I think that is that is so weird
that elicited such a reaction that you've got to be
our winner today.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Christy