June 3, 2025 • 7 mins
The 8 second rule is a new one to add to your 389837 rules to live by! But this one's not about food... It's about kids, discipline... And future you. If you're a parent or carer of little ones, you probably don't have 8 seconds to scratch your nose... But just have a listen before you rule it out!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
I heard podcasts year more Kiss podcasts, playlists and listen
live on the Freeheart.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Robin and Kiff Now with Coyote Day yesterday, great day
at Davies Park.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
We do lots of hard work.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
You know, Corey was integral to the coaching process.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Well, Yellow, the other coach said it, and then you
just said it louder so made sure everyone hurt.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
Yeah, you were like a megaphone. He was speaking the
wisdom and you just yelled into the crowd. Yes, exactly.
Speaker 5 (00:59):
And my little boy, Rafael came along. I picked him
up from school and I had a bit of fun.
I noticed that actually a couple of the Kiss staff
were looking after him while I was out on the field.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Is that what you were late? Yes, it is, And
they said geez, I said, he's fun. Isn't he smart?
And sassy?
Speaker 5 (01:16):
I said, yes, he's all of those things and not
great at listening, although he was good with them, which
is frustrating sometimes sometimes he's good with other people and
not with me.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
And yeah, and so've I don't know.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
If my algorithms on Instagram saw my desperation, but Coach
Mary a video from a lady called Coach Mary, who
is a parent child relationship expert came up about kids
that don't listen and won't listen, and she offered this
advice about an eight second rule.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
The revolutionary research has discovered that there is a precise
moment when children shift from not listening to you to
spontaneously cooperating. It's called the eight second rule. Here's how
it works. When you give a request to your child,
take a complete pause of eight seconds after saying it,
don't repeat, don't explain, simply wait in silence, watching them
with a neutral express The study result showed that seventy
(02:12):
three percent of children respond positively within those eight seconds.
Parents typically interrupt the weight after only two to three seconds.
Repeating request reduces the likelihood of response by forty percent.
Children need this time to process and decide autonomously. Child
development experts explain this works because one children process information
more slowly than adult too. The pause creates a decision
(02:33):
vacuum that the child feels the need to fill. Three.
It allows the child to feel autonomous in choosing to cooperate. Four.
It eliminates the power dynamic that drives resistance.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
So you're given you tell them something to wash your
hands for example, and then you count.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
In your head one, two, three. I mean that's a
lot at seconds back forever.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Get the I'm going to acts that you act Montana
with that plastic golf club. And then he said, he's
like and to bang.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Before you.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I think that works if you are in a situation
where you have the child's undivided attention. So if you're
at the sink and you're going to brush their teeth, yes,
so there is no nothing else going on, and they're
mucking around a bit, but that's the job. I cannot
imagine that working if you're on the side of the
road and the kid's about to bolt.
Speaker 6 (03:27):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:28):
It actually went as we walk back to our cars
yesterday at after Corey's little league, Raph and I were
jogging together and he ran out in front of me
and then I saw the lights, the reverse lights turn
on a car in front, and I said stop and
then you.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Know, and then he panicked and he stopped.
Speaker 5 (03:47):
But like I saw him running and a car was
going to reverse, and if I didn't, if I waited
eight seconds, right is god?
Speaker 4 (03:53):
I agree that happens all the time. Can you too
try it?
Speaker 5 (03:56):
I do want to try it because he's not listening.
And yeah, my fear is is that, like you said,
with Hauks, terrible things will happen in that eight seconds.
But I do want to try it because at the
moment I do wash your hands, for example, And this
is one of my pet hates you know that I'm
a German phobe, is that he'll go to the toilet,
he'll do it.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
I'm too, and I'll go, okay, wash your hands.
Speaker 5 (04:18):
And the idea of me counting for eight seconds while
he touches everything in the bathroom, including my toothbrush without
me going washer.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
You wouldn't say that, though, would you. No, I wouldn't.
I would say it like that. Actually, I silence, I
beat myself out. I'm silence my own f.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
There.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Okay, So you guys are going to go home and
try it on Huxy and RAF.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Yes tonight, Yeah, yes, you got Rafi tonight I do. Yeah,
you got a Huxy. I have to he's going so
maybe be a good night, maybe not. I don't know
if we'll find out.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, I have another hack, yes, and thirteen one O
six five. If you have the boarding school, what age
are we talking like?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Under eight? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (05:07):
Also wraps five turning six. So yeah, any hacks are welcome.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Desperate for any I have one, but I'd be curious
as to you whether you think it will work. It
did work on my three boys, okay, and it's counterintuitive
to absolutely everything, particularly for me.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Oh all right, let's come back with that and anything.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
You've got thirteen one oh six fives our number path
added ting galvel, We're getting other hacks.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
What have you got?
Speaker 6 (05:33):
Cat make sure the child's looking at you that can
actually eye contact?
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Eye contact, okay, my contact.
Speaker 6 (05:41):
You've got to You've got to have them looking at
you when you're actually asking them to do something. Notice
I say asking and not telling.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
True, No, I know. I used to get told that
all the time.
Speaker 6 (05:51):
I'm like, my son's school teacher did exactly what you did,
Robin the quiet voice.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
Oh yeah, whisper so funny.
Speaker 6 (06:01):
She had a school foot, she had a classroom of boys,
and that's what you do to get them to shut up?
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Ring Woods.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
What's your hack?
Speaker 7 (06:13):
Well, I have a five training six year old as well,
and my hack is because asking her to do something
a waiting eight seconds would never work. I can't see
that working if you give them a choice, so you say,
like you you want them to brush their teeth and
they obviously aren't going to go. Do you want to
skip to the bathroom today? Or did you want to
jump to the bathroom? And then she'll pick what she
(06:33):
wants to do and it works without fail every time.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
That's good advice.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
Then it's a bit of a game and give options,
two options.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
And they both end up in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yes, our boss Ali has a really good one with
her daughter of Rosy's six.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
Yes, we sing every tour, so it would be, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Time to pick up the toys, Pick up the toys,
pick up the toys. My favorite for showering is the
front bottom, back bottom song?
Speaker 4 (07:00):
How does that go? Allie?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Front bottom?
Speaker 4 (07:19):
It was the ancients. You can imagine people, you can.
I just love that. You know, Rosie is going to
be at a slumber party one of these should we
are we all doing the trouble on the song
I heard podcasts year more Kiss podcasts, playlists and listen
live on the Freeheart.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Robin and Kiff Now with Coyote Day yesterday, great day
at Davies Park.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
We do lots of hard work.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
You know, Corey was integral to the coaching process.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Well, Yellow, the other coach said it, and then you
just said it louder so made sure everyone hurt.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
Yeah, you were like a megaphone. He was speaking the
wisdom and you just yelled into the crowd. Yes, exactly.
Speaker 5 (00:59):
And my little boy, Rafael came along. I picked him
up from school and I had a bit of fun.
I noticed that actually a couple of the Kiss staff
were looking after him while I was out on the field.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Is that what you were late? Yes, it is, And
they said geez, I said, he's fun. Isn't he smart?
And sassy?
Speaker 5 (01:16):
I said, yes, he's all of those things and not
great at listening, although he was good with them, which
is frustrating sometimes sometimes he's good with other people and
not with me.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
And yeah, and so've I don't know.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
If my algorithms on Instagram saw my desperation, but Coach
Mary a video from a lady called Coach Mary, who
is a parent child relationship expert came up about kids
that don't listen and won't listen, and she offered this
advice about an eight second rule.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
The revolutionary research has discovered that there is a precise
moment when children shift from not listening to you to
spontaneously cooperating. It's called the eight second rule. Here's how
it works. When you give a request to your child,
take a complete pause of eight seconds after saying it,
don't repeat, don't explain, simply wait in silence, watching them
with a neutral express The study result showed that seventy
(02:12):
three percent of children respond positively within those eight seconds.
Parents typically interrupt the weight after only two to three seconds.
Repeating request reduces the likelihood of response by forty percent.
Children need this time to process and decide autonomously. Child
development experts explain this works because one children process information
more slowly than adult too. The pause creates a decision
(02:33):
vacuum that the child feels the need to fill. Three.
It allows the child to feel autonomous in choosing to cooperate. Four.
It eliminates the power dynamic that drives resistance.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
So you're given you tell them something to wash your
hands for example, and then you count.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
In your head one, two, three. I mean that's a
lot at seconds back forever.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Get the I'm going to acts that you act Montana
with that plastic golf club. And then he said, he's
like and to bang.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Before you.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I think that works if you are in a situation
where you have the child's undivided attention. So if you're
at the sink and you're going to brush their teeth, yes,
so there is no nothing else going on, and they're
mucking around a bit, but that's the job. I cannot
imagine that working if you're on the side of the
road and the kid's about to bolt.
Speaker 6 (03:27):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:28):
It actually went as we walk back to our cars
yesterday at after Corey's little league, Raph and I were
jogging together and he ran out in front of me
and then I saw the lights, the reverse lights turn
on a car in front, and I said stop and
then you.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Know, and then he panicked and he stopped.
Speaker 5 (03:47):
But like I saw him running and a car was
going to reverse, and if I didn't, if I waited
eight seconds, right is god?
Speaker 4 (03:53):
I agree that happens all the time. Can you too
try it?
Speaker 5 (03:56):
I do want to try it because he's not listening.
And yeah, my fear is is that, like you said,
with Hauks, terrible things will happen in that eight seconds.
But I do want to try it because at the
moment I do wash your hands, for example, And this
is one of my pet hates you know that I'm
a German phobe, is that he'll go to the toilet,
he'll do it.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
I'm too, and I'll go, okay, wash your hands.
Speaker 5 (04:18):
And the idea of me counting for eight seconds while
he touches everything in the bathroom, including my toothbrush without
me going washer.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
You wouldn't say that, though, would you. No, I wouldn't.
I would say it like that. Actually, I silence, I
beat myself out. I'm silence my own f.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
There.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Okay, So you guys are going to go home and
try it on Huxy and RAF.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Yes tonight, Yeah, yes, you got Rafi tonight I do. Yeah,
you got a Huxy. I have to he's going so
maybe be a good night, maybe not. I don't know
if we'll find out.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, I have another hack, yes, and thirteen one O
six five. If you have the boarding school, what age
are we talking like?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Under eight? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (05:07):
Also wraps five turning six. So yeah, any hacks are welcome.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Desperate for any I have one, but I'd be curious
as to you whether you think it will work. It
did work on my three boys, okay, and it's counterintuitive
to absolutely everything, particularly for me.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Oh all right, let's come back with that and anything.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
You've got thirteen one oh six fives our number path
added ting galvel, We're getting other hacks.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
What have you got?
Speaker 6 (05:33):
Cat make sure the child's looking at you that can
actually eye contact?
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Eye contact, okay, my contact.
Speaker 6 (05:41):
You've got to You've got to have them looking at
you when you're actually asking them to do something. Notice
I say asking and not telling.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
True, No, I know. I used to get told that
all the time.
Speaker 6 (05:51):
I'm like, my son's school teacher did exactly what you did,
Robin the quiet voice.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
Oh yeah, whisper so funny.
Speaker 6 (06:01):
She had a school foot, she had a classroom of boys,
and that's what you do to get them to shut up?
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Ring Woods.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
What's your hack?
Speaker 7 (06:13):
Well, I have a five training six year old as well,
and my hack is because asking her to do something
a waiting eight seconds would never work. I can't see
that working if you give them a choice, so you say,
like you you want them to brush their teeth and
they obviously aren't going to go. Do you want to
skip to the bathroom today? Or did you want to
jump to the bathroom? And then she'll pick what she
(06:33):
wants to do and it works without fail every time.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
That's good advice.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
Then it's a bit of a game and give options,
two options.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
And they both end up in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yes, our boss Ali has a really good one with
her daughter of Rosy's six.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
Yes, we sing every tour, so it would be, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Time to pick up the toys, Pick up the toys,
pick up the toys. My favorite for showering is the
front bottom, back bottom song?
Speaker 4 (07:00):
How does that go? Allie?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Front bottom?
Speaker 4 (07:19):
It was the ancients. You can imagine people, you can.
I just love that. You know, Rosie is going to
be at a slumber party one of these should we
are we all doing the trouble on the song
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