July 21, 2026 • 43 mins
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: the financial decisions that are quietly killing your cashflow. Whether it’s a daily $8 iced oat latté or a late night snack that becomes a weekly tradition, it’s time we faced these innocuous transactions that are getting in the way of our money goals. Because while they may only seem like a few dollars here and there, they all add up.
On this week’s Deep Dive, Victoria and Bec unpack the psychology behind our sometimes questionable spending behaviours and how we might overcome them to better build our wealth. Because friends don’t let friends make terrible money decisions.
BREAK THE BNPL CYCLE: Caught in a Buy Now, Pay Later loop? Break free with our blog on the subject over here. Or visit our shesonthemoney.com/blog and search ‘BNPL’.
BACK TO BASICS: Need to rewrite your budget? Here, grab a copy of ours over here and at shesonthemoney.com/download-resources.
SHOP AND SAVE? Tune into this playlist that’s all about saving while you shop https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4OAhk14TQ5Xv0uEFIwRrNE?si=hHecvxHQSFSn-sCMQzB5jA
New here? Follow us on Instagram (@shesonthemoneyaus) for Q&As, bite-sized advice, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you.
Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett (nartarshabamblett.com.au)
The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708, AFSL - 4451289
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
She's on the Money. She's on the Money. My name's
Tatasha Bamblet.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I'm a proud First Nations woman and I'm here to
acknowledge country. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather on the lands
of the Aboriginal people. We thank acknowledge and respect the
Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take pleasure
in all the land and respect all that you see.
She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,
bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
that helps you feel more in control of your financial future.
You've joined us for a deep dive. We're going to
do just that, Beck. We're diving headfirst into a subject
from the world of money and mindset so that our
community can come out with a deeper understanding of it all.
As I mentioned today, I am being joined by none
(00:55):
other than miss Beck sayed Hi and Beck, I can't
wait to hear your take on this topic. I feel
like I've blindsided you, but you are ready. I promise,
I'm ready.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I'm ready. Thank you so much for having me. I'm
excited to dive into things, So why do I have
the feelings sweek? Subject is going to be a little
bit polarizing because it is okay cool.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I have been jumping up and down for the last
couple of weeks telling people because I think people sometimes
want to hear what they want to hear, not what
they need to hear. And sometimes when it comes from me,
you go back, Victoria, you were my friend, and I go, yes,
I am, but I actually care deeply about you, and
sometimes I need to tell you things that are going
(01:37):
to put you in the best possible position. Like sometimes
I'm not your best friend. Sometimes I'm your big sister,
like I still love you. You think I'm annoying sometimes, but
I really do deeply want the best for you. Scary,
So let's just preface it with this episode might get
a little bit uncomfortable for you. We're talking about something
that thrives in group chats and open tabs every week.
(02:00):
I would say they're the financial decisions that are killing
your cash flow. You know exactly what I'm talking about, Beck,
and our community knows as well. It's that impulse by
It's the little sweet treat that gets you through a
hard week or maybe it's the regular expense with the
more long term consequences, whether my friend, you are in
(02:21):
denial or you've become quite skilled at defending questionable money
decisions with excuses like h victoria, but you should see
my cost per use this week. Unfortunately, I step up
to call you out, wow, and kindly call you out
obviously and hopefully call you into reconsidering your spending behavior, because,
(02:45):
as I said, I just genuinely want what's best for you.
To walk you through it. We're going to be sharing
some of the psychology behind these behaviors, some of the
more common yet questionable money decisions both we and our
community have defended before, and finally habits that will actually
help you build wealth. But before we get their, miss
Beec say ed, let's go to a really short break.
(03:08):
Don't go anywhere, my friends, welcome back. I know that
you aren't going to be surprised by this, but humans
don't always make the most rational decisions when it comes
to our financial behaviors.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Beck, that's crazy. I can't understand why. I just I
want to know why we're like this. I mean, I
can understand that, you know, people have different upbringings and stuff,
like that. But I know that there are plenty of
people who seem to do well and can manage their money.
But why do so many of us still make questionable
choices when, like in most situations, we do know better technically.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
We know better technically. Well, if we have a little
bit of a step back, we can look at the
neuroscience of it all. And there's actually a lot more
a play now for those of you playing along, I'm
not just googling some neuroscience. I'm not a neuroscientist, but
I actually do. Beck have two psychology degrees. Go figure
that's grad Your girl is an overachiever at best. Seriously,
(04:04):
I try very hard. But also that's what I thought
I used to want to do before I discovered finance,
and then I realized I could marry psychology and finance
and impact your behavior. Yeah, that's sick.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
They kind of go hand in hand.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
They to me, they do, and like, I love it,
But I think that you deserve that. I guess background
on me if we haven't met before. So while you
might Beck think that as adults we're pretty good at
cost based analysis, in reality, most of our consumer purchasing decisions. Literally,
research tells us that it's ninety percent of them are
(04:39):
driven by our limbic system, which is the lizard part
of our brain that controls our drive and our emotions.
I love her, So, beck you get to blame your
lizard brain. And this isn't because we are purely emotional creatures.
It's because the systems actually work completely subconsciously, and they
actually take less of a told to use on our
(05:01):
mental loads and rational decision making. Okay, okay, that's why
we'd be a little impulsive totally.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
I think it's really good to know. So it's like
kind of like not my fault. I enjoy impulse buyers.
It's my system, big system.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
It is your olympic system. It is your brain. Okay,
your fould.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
I can work with that.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
That and there's a whole bunch of things like dopamine
and all of the psychological levers that are pulled when
we make financial decisions. While there is, beck As, you
probably know a lot of information out there about shopping
and how it has the ability to release dopamine in us.
You know this idea of like retail therapy, it's actually
(05:41):
really about the anticipation, not the actual ownership of that item.
That thrills us.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Is that right?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, so like you just want to do the thing. Yeah, impulsive,
We want the impulse, but it doesn't mean that we
need to own the boots.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
That's so true.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Actually, Okay, once we've got it, that's why we're chasing
the next tie. Huh so boots, Okay, what's next?
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Yes, that is so true. What you're saying is anything
rewards based has the potential to deliver that DoPT mean hit,
but there's a bigger payoff in the moment before you
buy something that makes.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
It feel so good exactly. Okay, it's like drugs. Literally,
we just keep going back for that dopamine here, and
it's really good, like at the end of the day.
That's why it happens. That's why addictions form, and that's
why a retail shopping addiction is actually a genuine addiction.
Like and I think some people just flip it off
(06:31):
and be like, oh, this isn't legitimate. Oh she's just
justifying her spending. Like it is legitimate. It is a
feeling inside of you that you can sometimes not control.
So I think it's really important to point that out
as well. And as we've seen, this has actually been
proven throughout the rise of South Korea. So there are
dopamine sites that they have developed, which are basically be
(06:55):
get There's fake online stores that are created in order
to simulate that feeling of shopping. You've got fake items,
fake carts, fake delivery trackers that they give you, and
it purely fuels this behavior because you're like, I'm gonna
do the fake things send me are tracking, Oh it's coming.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Oh my god, that's genius.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I mean it never arrives, that's okay. But what's most
interesting is even these sites use a whole bunch of
different psychological strategies to make us want to buy things
even more.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Oh okay, dirty like dogs.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah, they're like gammifying the fake shopping. Yeah, I see,
which I think is really interesting.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
Do you mean like sales offers or dark design tactics
or like how they do you go somewhere else to purchase?
Or it's like on the website? Why not both?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Why not both?
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Why not both?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
And once I start reeling them off, you're going to
know exactly what I'm talking about. So there's this whole
thing called present bias, where we often overvalue immediate rewards
relative to the ones that we might receive in the future.
So an example of this is the free shipping threshold. Yes,
so how often have you bought an extra thing that
you actually didn't meet just to meet the free delivery
(08:07):
threshold or have it upgraded to express? Like I do
that too, and I always have to catch myself. Like
the other day, I bought a jacket online and I'd
been looking at this jacket for a really long time,
and I knew once it came in stock, I wanted
to purchase it. So I've been a bit, I don't know,
creeping on the website and I was checking if they
had it in stock yet they didn't, And like I
(08:29):
do this like every week. I don't know if that's
crazy behavior or if I just really knew I wanted it.
I get it anyway, the second it came in stock,
super excited at it to my cart. The second the
cart said another ninety dollars until free shipping, I was like,
I better check the rest of the store.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yes, yes, yes, no, ninety dollars is quite a jump, but.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Anyway, I checked myself and spent my six dollars on shipping.
And it is what it is, So wasn't great, but
I did what I did.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
That's okay, You're allowed. And like, because the what is immediate,
it seems like a better deal than it actually might be.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Yeah, because like obviously they're getting an extra ninety bucks
out of me for covering my six dollars shipping. Yeah,
like that's that's not a good deal. That's me spending
more money. Totally in my head, it makes sense.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, And it's like, oh, I wonder what other items
you could enjoy. But I'm like, well, that's silly. That's
the I'm just wait as victim to the victim to
the system.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
So the system exactly, our little lizard brains can't deal
with it. And I want to come back to this
point of the conversation a little bit later. But this
is also a strategy that many buy now, pay later
platforms actually completely exploit. Think about it, The immediate reward
of getting that thing that you want now completely outweighs
(09:46):
the ongoing pain of the purchase once you have it
and having to pay it back, even if it is
like better or more financially responsible for you to wait
until you can afford it. You just want to buy
it in the moment because you're like, but I want
it now totally. Even if technically, Beck, do you need it?
You'll be like no, but like I need it like
I want it like, And it's so crazy how we
(10:09):
can individually confuse needs for needs yeah, and once for
wants like once for needs and needs for once you
know what I mean, And I'll go, Beck, do you
need it? And you go yeah, and I'll go yes,
is it crucial and critical to your survival? And you're
going to go, yes, I need another brown jumper, Yes
(10:30):
I do, and like, but we get confused with our
own feelings because like, internally you deeply want want that
right totally, so it feels like a need. So I
don't want you guys thinking I don't get it, like
I too. I'm just a girl, like I do suffer
from this and it's something that I have to consistently
check myself on.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
That's very comforting. So that even you have a lizard brain,
you have a lizard brain, so okay, sneaky, sneaky, sneaky.
What other tricks he use to take advantage of our
limbic brain?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Okay, So lots of businesses like to use our lizard brain,
and heaps of businesses will appeal to our sense of
loss of version and our perceptions of the status quo.
So this might actually be a little bit more common
than you think, and it probably affects you in ways
that you hadn't considered before. This isn't just that feeling
that you get when you miss out on a really
(11:22):
good sale a gift with purchase. Maybe you're and you
might not resonate with this, but lots of my friends
are going to resonate with this your next mecca beauty
loop box. These might be the reason why you haven't
switched banks or insurance providers like Yes, because the idea
here is that somewhere deep down you are reluctant to
(11:44):
lose the consistency or the comfort of what you're currently receiving.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Yeah, you really like it.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
I get it. We like we're humans. We like being comfortable,
and change is deeply uncomfortable, even if it's not financially
benefiting you. The idea of switching or you having to
inconvenience yourself back it triggers this loss of version, and
you put it off and it ultimately costs you more
(12:12):
in long term. Yes, how many times have you thought
I could probably get a better phone plan. Mm, can't
be bothered though I don't want to do it, like
it's going to put me out. Yeah, inconvenienced. That's actually
triggering your loss of version, and you feel like that's
a loss, even though it's actually going to be a game. Yes,
but your body is telling you I'm losing something, like
(12:36):
you're not. Your lizard brain's not articulating that, but you're
getting that feeling of loss with the idea that you
would have to do some work to achieve that.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, true, rude. I know. So it's not
just because the process is painful. You're seeing that deep
down somewhere, I would rather maintain the status quo, even
if it costs me more, just to avoid change, or
you're kind of like losing that. Yeah, the familiarity, the
comfort of it all that it does cut it kind
of sucks.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Humans inherently hate change. Yes, we hate it. We don't
like it.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
It's scary.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Yeah, And like this could be like small things like
if you caught the train to work and there was
like it went down a different train line, you inherently
wouldn't have liked that, even if it got you to
the same place. Same time. You just don't like that
it took a different route because that's not the route
you would drive. It's why when we're in the car
with our friends and they're the driver, and you're driving
(13:28):
to somewhere that you know and they go with different route,
is it a bad thing back. No, necessarily, because you
still got to the same location.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
That's stressful.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
But you didn't like it because they turned left when
you would usually like turn right, and you deeply don't
like that because your lizard brain likes consistency. Yes, that
makes so your lizard brain is like, no, this is
not the same I want the same same, same sense.
So I want you to think also of cognitive overload,
so that decision fatigue that comes with shopping around. You know,
(14:00):
I thought it was just me, but it's actually no
coincidence that you instantly thought of how painful it might
be to change providers or get a better deal or
go a different route. Well, your mates driving like that
makes me annoyed. Yeah, you know, other people might go
that doesn't annoy me. Yeah, you're probably better than me.
(14:20):
Your lizard's probably smarter. That's fine. But this is something
called prospect theory, and it shows us that we also
feel the pain of losses roughly twice as intensely as
the pleasure of receiving gains.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Wow, isn't that route That's really annoying.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
So like the little scale goes up a little bit
if we're happy, and then down twice as low if
we don't. Oh cool, exactly.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Cool cool cool.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
So it's not again I want to remind you, it's
your lizard brain, not you.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
And research shows us that even if we know about
these strategies, even if I teach you, even if I go, Beck,
study this, tell me what is that strategy? You go, yep,
got it on paper?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
There's no guarantee that we're going to be less susceptible
to them, totally, like you're still got to get it.
And so many of them are about operating on this
subconscious level or falling back to our limbic lizard brain.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
It's like evolutionarily, we're before even the economy or any
kind of like trade, whether it's money or whatever. It's
like we're just we were built for this. We're built
to be victims to yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
And it's so annoying because like how many times Beck
do I say, well, if you know better, you can
do better, and like I always say that, and it's
like about me personally, Like I'm like cool, if I
learn I can do better. Yeah, well maybe not, maybe
maybe not. Maybe we can learn and know better and
then not do better exactly.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
So like do we send a chairs and are there
any hacks to making more financially responsible decisions?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Yes, there are. I didn't do this episode to make
us feel bad about ourselves exactly. I think what might
be most helpful is if we work on a case
by case basis, using examples from our community. Beck, and
we're going to sink our teeth in right after this break.
All right, miss Beck sayed, we are back with another
(16:22):
deep dive episode devoted to the psychology of spending. We're
just about to unpack some of your most unhinged financial decisions. Recently,
we asked our community to share some of the money
habits that you just can't quit. Now. I say this lovingly.
I say this like your your big sister scared. Sometimes
(16:45):
some of you are making hectic money choices, and I
am here to kindly remind you that there are plenty
of others, sometimes better choices you could be making so
that you can actually afford the life lifestyle you want
and the lifestyle I believe you deserve, like you do deserve,
(17:06):
just be financially well off. Back, so does everybody in
our community. We've got to find a way for you
do not work against yourself.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Yeah, okay, help me, help.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
You, help me, help you, help me help you.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
So I've got a few messages and comments from our community,
and I thought you could go through. I've given you
some screenshots.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
You could go through and read some of the questions
from our community, and I can tell you what interventions
or things I would suggest as a response.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Perfect, Okay, I love this. I love this. It feels
like a game. So that's when we have it is
from Emmy. If it's on sale in big signs and
stickers and bright lights and whatever other marketing ploy they try,
it gets me nearly every time. So what would you
do in this situation?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Just get you two? Because like same, It's almost like
if they put sale on it, I'm paying attention even
if I didn't want it, I'm like, oh, but what
is on sale? I mean?
Speaker 3 (18:02):
And you know the back rat knives always set off.
I'm like I got, well, I gotta buy one.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Why are they always I have questions?
Speaker 3 (18:10):
I know?
Speaker 1 (18:11):
And then is this right exactly? All right?
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Emmy?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
This sounds a little bit like framing, where offers might
not actually be as good as they seem. Like, let's
have a think about why they might need the big
red sign to sell something to you, right right right,
Like if it was so good, wouldn't it sell without
the big red sign and the bright lights and the
flashy things. It's so true, But they're getting my attention
in another way, and you know what, this lizard loves flashy,
(18:36):
shiny things. What I would be doing is investigating that offer.
So is it actually a competitive deal or is it
just marketing? I also want you to revisit your money goals.
Let's remember what you're aiming for and stay focused because
even if it is cheap and you know what gets me,
(18:56):
sometimes I will justify it to myself literally there in
the I'll be like knowing full well, I don't need
the new top. Wow it's on sale, And then I
look at the like fabric and I'm like, wow, that's
like woolen cotton, Like that's really good construction. Beck, Yeah,
that's not fake, Like, that's good. Do you know what
fifty bucks for this good deal?
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:15):
I might have to pick one up. Yeah, but I
get it. We need to remind ourselves was this actually
in my budget? Was I planning to purchase this? Could
I potentially put twenty four hours between me and my
spending on this item? And maybe let's add a buffer
present bias like it causes us to overvalue immediate rewards.
(19:38):
So maybe that twenty four hours between you and your
spending is going to mean that the sale tomorrow looks
a little bit dimmer. Yeah, and that's what we're hoping for.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Right totally. You know, you could do if something's fifty dollars,
you could be like, instead of buying it, you say,
oh my god, I found fifty bucks on the ground
and you've just put it into your bank account.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, that's about a deal, you know what I mean?
And you know what, every day I would prefer to
f fifty bucks on the ground. Yeah, that's a good
way to put it.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Hey, thank you.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Now the next one, okay, it was common. What is it?
Speaker 2 (20:07):
So?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
This one comes from Lizzy and.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
You're reading this holding your paper coffee cup.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
I need to get a keep cup.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
I do, but yeah, I'm not attacking the coffee cup.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Okay, okay. Now, so Lizzie says take away coffee.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
O what did T say?
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Perfectly good machine at home just doesn't hit the spot.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
I understand, I really get it. Mine hits the spot.
Come to my house. I'm gonna make you an at
home coffee and I think you'll be like Victoria, that
is it. I've got it down.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
What do you do?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
And then we've got a brevel. It's a brevelvel, not
a hay thing. But like, as you know, I'm in
love with my brevel and I will tell everybody.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Well I personally, I've started adding things like I'll put
milo in mind, like something to make it delicious, and
so I look forward to it. But we have a
few of these. So T said what Tea said, coffee
at work? Even though I bought a coffee machine that
I have at home so I wouldn't need it one
at work, I just drink more coffe. I think it
is the social aspect of it all. Totally just said
a dollar ice latte.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Oh my god, isn't that astronomical?
Speaker 3 (21:08):
It is I've seen ten dollar ones, so rude Taneka said,
coffee every day, piano trees, beautiful name my a doll
iced oat latte that briefly gives me the will to
live each morning one hundred percent fair. And Susie says,
my daily coffee. So these are very common.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Yeah, I guess like we're all got done.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
We get it and we are all on the same boat.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
And do you know what, beck I did this literally yesterday.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Yeah, I got up.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I had a coffee with my husband at home. I
even have been like practicing my latte art Gorge coffee.
And historically, beck, I've only needed one coffee in the
morning and then maybe I'll like crave one at like
three pm. Fine, that's my that's my Like I don't know,
Little Rosta had my coffee. Got to the office, Alicia goes,
(21:55):
anyone want a coffee? Immediately me yep, yep, I do
I want a coffee?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Why did I need it? No? I just wanted to
join in.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
I know, I know. Sometimes it's like you're having a tea.
Sometimes the I.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Don't want to tea.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
I want a coffee totally. But you know, its like
do you want a tea and you're like the energy
of it all like popping the kettle on, it's so cozy,
but the actual drinking of the tea or the coffee
is like, well, I could have gone without.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I do need an oat latte. But let's talk about
interventions for this, because my queen's I get it. I
want you to track your spending. So I'm not saying
don't get the coffee, because I've said time and time again,
if coffee is something that you really deeply value and
you want to keep it in your budget, you will.
But what you will do is understand what it actually
costs you, so you won't just go, oh, but I
(22:41):
can't get rid of it. You'll go Victoria. I know,
on average, I spend X per year on coffee, and
I'm actually pretty comfortable with that because it gives me
enough value, Whereas on the flip side, I might turn
around and be like, beck, hey, did you know you
spend two thousand dollars a year on takeaway coffees? And
you're going to go, oh, that makes me deeply uncomfortable.
I don't want to do that, and that's when we
(23:03):
can start to facilitate some change. So track your spending,
understand exactly how much that is costing you. Also, let's
unpack while we're buying it. For me, more often than not,
a takeaway coffee out is social. Yeah, it's not, because
I'm on my own and I'm like, I just feel
like a coffee. I can easily walk past a coffee shop.
But Beck, if you and I are together and you
(23:25):
say i'd love a coffee, I got me too.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Yes? Why yes, So.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
You need to understand why you're buying. Is it social,
is it situational? Is it something else? Let's revisit our
money goals. Remember what you're aiming for and stay focused,
my friend, then remind yourself was this in your budget?
If not, and you keep doing it, do we need
to factor it in? Like life? Unfortunately, I'm really sorry.
(23:52):
For most people, life is about compromise. You cannot have everything,
or you cannot have everything at all at once at least,
So if you're going to prioritize your coffee, what else
are we going to get rid of?
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Like?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
What are we going to change in the background so
you can still live your best life? Because like, I
am not subscribed to this idea of fire at all,
and I know some of our listeners are, and I
adore that for you. I really wish I could, but like,
I want to enjoy the journey and I think that
most people in our community are also journey girls. Lately
the destination sexy, but also day to day I want
(24:29):
to feel like I'm live love, laughing. Absolutely, So let's
just talk about whether we need to factor that ink. Also,
how do we make this more affordable? Do we join
loyalty programs? Do we reframe and go I'm just going
to buy my coffee at BP or at seven eleven
in the morning when I'm going past, because sorry, it's
twenty twenty six. That coffee is actually good now, it's
(24:52):
really good. It used to be bad, right, yeah, I
get it, Like I'm not saying, oh it used to
be that. But if you haven't tried a seven eleven
coffee ras, I think you would be pleasantly surprised for
two dollars delicious, right, like good beans often most of
them have oat milk options, heaps of them. Just they're good,
they're good like and this isn't promotional, this is just
(25:13):
me going stop being a snob. And like Beck, we
from Melbourne, we're inherently coffee snobs.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Absolutely and that's.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Okay, and we love a seven eleven coffee exactly. So
that leans into the how do we make it more affordable?
Or do we go, okay, we're going to take away
one coffee a week?
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Sure, boy?
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Is it two? So you can have them still, don't worry.
But instead of having five, do we do three? So
you do have tea on two of the other days?
But have you calculated what that might mean for you
and how that could benefit you? And you might go
that's worth it?
Speaker 3 (25:48):
Like, that's good.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Also, can we add some friction? How hard can I
make this for myself?
Speaker 4 (25:54):
Right?
Speaker 1 (25:55):
So? Do I take my Apple pay off my phone?
Every time I need to get a coffee, I have
to dig through my bag, get my card out, tap
it that way? Or do I make a rule where
I can only buy coffee if I have cash? Right? Like?
Because that would change it a little bit. It makes
it harder. And then whole of a sudden, when things
aren't as easy, you're kind of like, I can't be bothered.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Yes, that's so true, and then you're like relieved that
you have to do it because you can't be bothered.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Yeah, You're like, oh yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
That's kind of nic it's actually so this one's from
cass shopping when I'm sad did that last week. I'm
trying to break that habit and Maca's Breakfast. I'm trying
to break that habit as well. Maca's Breakfast I do
love and I get it. That's hard beg Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Aim something better than a crispy, perfectly cooked Maca's hash brown.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Oh my god, I don't think there's anything.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
No, No, there's a reason they added that to the
all day menu. Yeah, there's a reason.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
They know, they know they get it.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
And do you know what I really love? Yeah, the
macas Brecky wraps. Oh yeah, you had those. I don't
want to promote them because like you shouldn't go and
spend more money on Maca's breakfast. But like the egg,
the bacon. They have a really nice sauce. I really
like the spicy one. They put a hash brown in there.
It is so good and it is warm, and then
(27:10):
you can get a Maca's coffee at the same time,
and that sometimes if I'm working really early mornings, that's
like my treat for like getting up and going to
podcast recordings at seven am to get stuff done. Fair enough,
I know, right, but also not fair enough.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
No.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
No, I've got a coffee machine at home, and we're
trying to talk ourselves out of this stuff, right, So
we're going to track our spending. I need you to
understand exactly how much this emotional habit is costing you.
Let's talk about why you're buying. Is there a more
affordable way to support yourself through these moments? Like, I
get it, I get sad, Like I think it's important
(27:48):
that our community knows that I'm on antidepressants and anti
anxiety medication because I'm not God. And you know what,
I've tried to take myself off them before because I'm like,
I don't need this. Life's good again, It's just my brain. Yeah, Like,
if I am not medicated, I am sad and that
(28:08):
is okay, and I'm dealing with it. But my spending
was really reflective of my mental health early on and
every time I've gone off my medication. I'm not promoting medication,
but I think you guys deserve transparency in these spaces,
not me going Beckett's It's not good that you're sad, yeah,
and move on, Like, I get it. You know what
(28:31):
makes me feel good spending. You know what makes me
feel better knowing that I'm going to be really rich
one day. True, and like we need to look at
the bigger picture. Yea, And sometimes the bigger picture is
as blunt as that. Yeah, Like we're not going Beck,
reframe it. You'll get a bigger one later, Like, Beck,
do you want to be rich as f exactly how
(28:53):
do we work towards that? So let's unpack it, but
also let's work out why are you sad? What's going on?
Is there something that we could help you with? Like
could you call up a friend and just have a chat?
And sometimes something that really helped me. I hated being told, oh,
just call a friend because I thought it meant that
I'd have to call back up and be like, hey, Beck,
(29:13):
I feel sad. You don't yeh, call and check on
your friend because like o'h call up and be like, hey, Beck,
how are you? Just what was thinking of? You want
to have a chat? And all of a sudden we're
having the conversation that I needed to have to boost
my serotonin and my dopenine Like I'm feeling good because
I just checked in with a friend. Yeah, we don't
have to talk about it if you don't want to.
(29:35):
Could you go for a walk or are you only
getting Maca's breakfast and shopping when you're with a particular friend.
Do we need to identify that and potentially change the
way that we interact with that friend. I also again
need to remind you ask yourself these questions. Is it
in your budget? Do you actually need it? Have you
factored it into your budget? If not, maybe we need
(29:58):
it later, Maybe we need it next month. Revisit your
money goals again, remember what you are aiming for and
stay focused. And how do we make it more affordable
for you? Could we go to macas less? Could we
find a more cost effective way to self sue out
ourselves totally? Like what does that mean? Like for a walk?
(30:18):
Maybe we reframe it and the game is you go
to Chadsten and the goal is to not buy anything,
but we can look and we can take notes on
everything that you want. You could take pictures of stuff
so that you can file them away for when you
achieve something that you go I really do want those genes.
I'm going to go back and get them because I
deserve them.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Also, this obviously doesn't apply to like clinical impressions. Just
like if you feel if you're feeling low like this,
this really could work and ethnically going for a walk.
It's like so like when I feel sad and people
tell me that, I'm like, I want to catch your walk,
but I will lay down forever and then and then
I'm like, well, reluctantly, I won't walk.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I actually hate being told but it is crazy, kind
of is crazy, and like I hate to say it,
but my mum was right, Yeah, sometimes you need to
get out of bed. Yeah, and even if you're not
enjoying this, because I get it. Sometimes just get out
of bed, have a shower, go for a walk, make
sure you've had some water and eaten something, and then
(31:17):
we can talk about how you're feeling.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Yes, And I'd be like, fine, yes, exactly, exactly. Okay.
The sex one comes from Steph. So Steph says that
they've been spending too much on gifts. I've spent two
thousand dollars in the last three months alone. Help.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Oh my goodness, that's so much money.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Very generous. I wish I was Steph's fread.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Okay, we're gonna have to ask ourselves a few questions
here is it just a bit of a busy like
birthday gifting season? Like you know, I know the time
that I asked this wasn't Christmas. But is it like
every single family member's birthday ever? Or is something else happening?
I want you to unpack why you're spending this much?
(31:56):
Comparison culture sucks fixed ideas around gifting? Do you have
fixed ideas around gifting or generosity? Are you feeling maybe
like you're obliged to spend certain amounts? And why revisit
your budget? I said this time and time again. For
me at Christmas time, I require a budget, like I
(32:18):
have a specific Christmas budget, Beck, You're on it, because
otherwise I could go ham like. Gifting is my love language,
So I need to write down all of the people.
Are like, there is a free gifting spreadsheet on the
sheets on the money website for Christmas spending. I gave
you mine, but I write down every single person and
(32:39):
I'll go like, Beck, yes, Brook, you know what I mean.
And then I go how much do I want to
spend on each person? And I might go fifty dollars
And in my head, fifty dollars is not that bad
for a gift, So I go, oh, that's not too bad,
no worries. But then I've got Beck, yes, Brooke, And
all of a sudden, I can see the tally and
I haven't spent anything yet, but I'm just allocating how
(33:00):
much I want to spend on you, h And I
realize I'm at one hundred and fifty bucks already. Yeah,
And then I go, is that reasonable? Is that feasible?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
No?
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Maybe I want to spend thirty dollars per gift, or
maybe it's different, maybe I want to spend one hundred
dollars per gift. Whatever your number is, it doesn't actually matter.
But sometimes when we can like write down what our
gift spending is, that will make us reassess. And I
think it's more thoughtful. So don't get me wrong, i
might be stripping money off your gift. But I'm now
(33:30):
going to go, oh, actually, I cut the budget. Now
I've only got forty bucks for Beck. Now I'm deeply
thinking about what I can buy for Beck. Instead of going,
I'm just going to go shopping and see what I
can find and just pick a random thing that I
think fits Beck. Yeah, Like, and then you're going to go, oh, actually, Beck. Really,
she's like quite a generous person but loves like experiences
(33:51):
over things like what could I do for Beck? Like,
I'm thinking a little bit more deeply about that person,
and I think that that's really nice. But revisiting your budget,
you could do this for birthdays. You could do this
for the rest of the year as well, so you know,
write down all the people that you buy birthday gifts
for and set yourself an annual budget. Yeah, so that
you go, Okay, every birthday, I can only spend X.
(34:13):
But I'm gonna think about this all year. Keep a
list in your phone of ideas. Mine's creepy. I love it.
I've got a list of ideas for you. I've got
a list of ideas for Jess. I got a list
of ideas for my husband. As things come up and
I'm like, oh, I know that Beck never has X
y Z. Maybe I could put that into a gift
for her at some point. Think about that person. Are
(34:36):
they an acts of service person? Write a really nice
letter to them, bake someone their favorite dessert or make
them something. And then also create a buffer, like wait
a day before purchasing to create friction and give yourself
some consideration time. And if you say, Victoria, I can't
create a buffer because I buy the gift on the day.
(34:56):
That's a recipe for blowing your budget every single time.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
If it's helpful at all, because I know that I've
When I was with my girlfriend, we kind of had
a lot of discussions about like I would spend a
lot of money on gifts, but it was only because
I would like see things and just like immediately want
to buy her. I'd see her favorite chocolates, I'd want
to buy it immediately, like I'm not even thinking, and
same with my friends and stuff. And so what I
did instead was I created albums in my phone and
(35:23):
it would be labeled all the things that me think
of you or all the things that I wanted to
buy you, and then you just put like, and it
could be like for all these friends, like say something
they really like, have a friend that loves minions randomly,
I'll see that. I would take a photo put in
that album the albums for her, and she would see
all the things that made ME think of her in
that day or in that week or whatever. And so
(35:43):
if it's satisfied that need for you to let your
friend or your partner or someone know that you've thought
about them. Seeing something they're like, you can send it
to them via photo, and I feel like that's just
as satisfying sometimes, So try that.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
If that's really cute, You're going to make someone so happy,
And I hope that they're in the She's on the
one community like sweet maybe just like a little a
little like a reminder if anyone wants to slide into.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
Vaccinem freshly single.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Who's next?
Speaker 3 (36:13):
Who's next? Okay, Rachel? Oh maybe it's Rachel. Next is Rachel?
Rachel says, I use PayPal pay in four Thankfully I
don't have any other buy now, pay later, but I
keep justifying bigger purchases with PayPal pretty slope. I totally
get it.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
It's just what would you do?
Speaker 3 (36:30):
I unfortunately do the same, and I use it a lot.
But I the other thing, Rebecca, So I know, I know,
but I'm Ableete have talked about that. I know, I know,
but I want you know. I'm so like because I've
gone to a point where I'm so scared of debt
now that I pay it off and it feels so satisfying.
I'll pay off each thing one by one. I don't
do a bolk pay. I'll see the satisfaction of being
like seven dollars twenty three here and like you know,
(36:51):
and so I think that it's not good.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Maybe I've been trying to reframe this. You know, when
you sign up to these things that you like Victorias.
In my head, you.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
Absolutely are absolutely sorry.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I'm so sorry. You are a grown woman with will.
You can make your own decisions. No, I just care
about you and one what's best for you. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
I think I've just impressed that because I was bankrupt,
I couldn't get after pay or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
So now you have it, you're like shiny and now
it's like.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
Kind of cool. But you are in my head. I
want you to know at all times.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Especially when you do wordle. Especially when you do wordle. Anyway,
both of us have the same word all start word,
which is audio. Yep, I reckon that we're not the
only ones. Anyway, my friend, Rachel, track your spending. I
need you to understand how much you're actually spending and
how much you actually owe, because it's very likely that
you have your head buried in the sand. Because if
(37:44):
you're doing by now, pay later on any platform, because
PayPal buy in four is a buy now, pay later
as well. You probably don't have a really good understanding
of how much you can actually afford, because like, if
you've got the cash in your bank and you can
actually afford it, you wouldn't have needed that service. So
we're probably shooting ourself in the foot a little bit
(38:06):
there and letting it enable you. Now, I would add
a buffer. I would literally put a day between my
spending at least to make sure that we're curbing that
present bias and really understanding that the anticipation of the
purchase is usually better than the other thing. Also, let's
reframe it. Instead of buy now, pay later and you
(38:27):
get the item right now, Beck, what if I said
to you, hey, Beck, you can have this item in
a month. I need you every week to give me
twenty bucks and then at the end of the month,
I'll give it to you. Yeah, Like, Lebi, do you
still want it?
Speaker 3 (38:42):
Probably not.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Cool because you're not going to wait for it. Yeah,
So ask yourself, would you be willing to wait for
this item? Like, hypothetically, if this item was out of
stock and it said delivery shipment is the first of
next month, would you go worry about it. Probably you
don't need it.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
Yeah, probably not.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
You don't need it, don't need to stop it, Like
tap you on the wrist.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
Stop this.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
The other thing I want you to do is set
really clear financial goals and budget accordingly. If it's not
in the budget, sorry you can't afford it. I'm sorry. Like,
I don't want to be that person, but I think
sometimes I have to be like, beck, stop it, you
can't afford this, and you go, yeah, you're right, Like
and that's okay, make your own decisions, but like I
(39:34):
don't want to enable you. Also, just like a final
little note on by now pay laters. It is the
second most common form of debt in Australia at the moment,
right behind credit cards. In twenty twenty five, the Australian
Financial Securities Authority found that forty eight point nine percent
of all debtors had at least one by now pay
(39:55):
later debt, with the average balance creeping up from eight
hundred and twenty dollars per person in twenty twenty four
to eleven hundred and ten dollars in March this year.
So it's not the seven dollars that you were quoting.
Before most of us actually have more than one thousand
dollars of debt. If we are using this, why is
that important to our community, you might ask me, because
(40:18):
women are still outspending men when it comes to buy now,
pay later, and gen why and gen z are leading
adoption rates at fifty nine and fifty seven percent, respectively. Okay,
whilst it might seem like a really good idea at
the time, it is truly only a disguise of a
deeper issue, my friends, that maybe you can't actually afford
(40:39):
what you're buying, or that it's time to adjust your
budget and your financial goals to actually reflect your lifestyle.
Just because you've got the cash right in your account
in that moment does not mean you can afford it.
Another rule that I saw one of my friends mentioned
the other day. She was like, Victoria, I have started
telling myself that if I couldn't buy the idea three
(41:00):
or four times, I can't afford it. M Yeah, And
I'm like, oh, that's a good one.
Speaker 3 (41:05):
So three, like times three or four the actually let's
say something, something's one hundred dollars. Yeah, if you can't
buy four of them.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Yeah, if you don't have the cash in your account
to buy four of them. Oh you should buying it.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
Hell yeah, okay, I like that.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
And like, there's just different things. And I share this
not because I'm like, oh, that's the perfect strategy, but like,
sometimes a little thing sticks in your brain and that's
the thing that helps make a change totally. So let's
throw so many of them at your wall and see
what sticks, and see what works for you, because you
might go, You're right, that little strategy works for me.
Cash flow systems might work for somebody else. Adding up
(41:40):
how much every single coffee is costing you every month
or every year might work for another person. Someone else
might add it up and be like, map, I don't
notice it, so I don't mind. Yeah, Like everything is
going to look different for different people. Yes, okay, something's
got a stick, surely exactly. And my friend, I think
we're going to wrap it there. Friends don't let make
(42:00):
terrible money decisions back.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
That's true, they just don't.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
And that's all. Unfortunately we have time for today. If
you have felt a little bit confronted by this episode,
just know that I would hug you if I saw
you in person, and maybe you also learn something new.
I hope you learned something new, tell us about it.
You can hear us up in our DMS, or you
can leave us a comment or a review. Or you
can join our She's on the Money Facebook group to
(42:24):
share your stories of reckless spending and recovery in our
next money Wins post. Otherwise, my friends, thank you for
tuning in and being part of our community. We'll catch
you later in the week for another episode of Friday Drinks.
Take care of yourselves out of each other? Bye did buy?
Speaker 4 (42:45):
Shared on She's on the Money is generally nature and
does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money
exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied
upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you
do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS
TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
Tailored towards your needs.
Speaker 4 (43:05):
Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives
of Money sherper P T y L t D A
B N three two one six, four nine, two seven
seven
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Zero eight a F s L four five one two
eight nine
She's on the Money. She's on the Money. My name's
Tatasha Bamblet.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I'm a proud First Nations woman and I'm here to
acknowledge country. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather on the lands
of the Aboriginal people. We thank acknowledge and respect the
Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take pleasure
in all the land and respect all that you see.
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Speaker 1 (00:32):
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
that helps you feel more in control of your financial future.
You've joined us for a deep dive. We're going to
do just that, Beck. We're diving headfirst into a subject
from the world of money and mindset so that our
community can come out with a deeper understanding of it all.
As I mentioned today, I am being joined by none
(00:55):
other than miss Beck sayed Hi and Beck, I can't
wait to hear your take on this topic. I feel
like I've blindsided you, but you are ready. I promise,
I'm ready.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I'm ready. Thank you so much for having me. I'm
excited to dive into things, So why do I have
the feelings sweek? Subject is going to be a little
bit polarizing because it is okay cool.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I have been jumping up and down for the last
couple of weeks telling people because I think people sometimes
want to hear what they want to hear, not what
they need to hear. And sometimes when it comes from me,
you go back, Victoria, you were my friend, and I go, yes,
I am, but I actually care deeply about you, and
sometimes I need to tell you things that are going
(01:37):
to put you in the best possible position. Like sometimes
I'm not your best friend. Sometimes I'm your big sister,
like I still love you. You think I'm annoying sometimes, but
I really do deeply want the best for you. Scary,
So let's just preface it with this episode might get
a little bit uncomfortable for you. We're talking about something
that thrives in group chats and open tabs every week.
(02:00):
I would say they're the financial decisions that are killing
your cash flow. You know exactly what I'm talking about, Beck,
and our community knows as well. It's that impulse by
It's the little sweet treat that gets you through a
hard week or maybe it's the regular expense with the
more long term consequences, whether my friend, you are in
(02:21):
denial or you've become quite skilled at defending questionable money
decisions with excuses like h victoria, but you should see
my cost per use this week. Unfortunately, I step up
to call you out, wow, and kindly call you out
obviously and hopefully call you into reconsidering your spending behavior, because,
(02:45):
as I said, I just genuinely want what's best for you.
To walk you through it. We're going to be sharing
some of the psychology behind these behaviors, some of the
more common yet questionable money decisions both we and our
community have defended before, and finally habits that will actually
help you build wealth. But before we get their, miss
Beec say ed, let's go to a really short break.
(03:08):
Don't go anywhere, my friends, welcome back. I know that
you aren't going to be surprised by this, but humans
don't always make the most rational decisions when it comes
to our financial behaviors.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Beck, that's crazy. I can't understand why. I just I
want to know why we're like this. I mean, I
can understand that, you know, people have different upbringings and stuff,
like that. But I know that there are plenty of
people who seem to do well and can manage their money.
But why do so many of us still make questionable
choices when, like in most situations, we do know better technically.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
We know better technically. Well, if we have a little
bit of a step back, we can look at the
neuroscience of it all. And there's actually a lot more
a play now for those of you playing along, I'm
not just googling some neuroscience. I'm not a neuroscientist, but
I actually do. Beck have two psychology degrees. Go figure
that's grad Your girl is an overachiever at best. Seriously,
(04:04):
I try very hard. But also that's what I thought
I used to want to do before I discovered finance,
and then I realized I could marry psychology and finance
and impact your behavior. Yeah, that's sick.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
They kind of go hand in hand.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
They to me, they do, and like, I love it,
But I think that you deserve that. I guess background
on me if we haven't met before. So while you
might Beck think that as adults we're pretty good at
cost based analysis, in reality, most of our consumer purchasing decisions. Literally,
research tells us that it's ninety percent of them are
(04:39):
driven by our limbic system, which is the lizard part
of our brain that controls our drive and our emotions.
I love her, So, beck you get to blame your
lizard brain. And this isn't because we are purely emotional creatures.
It's because the systems actually work completely subconsciously, and they
actually take less of a told to use on our
(05:01):
mental loads and rational decision making. Okay, okay, that's why
we'd be a little impulsive totally.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
I think it's really good to know. So it's like
kind of like not my fault. I enjoy impulse buyers.
It's my system, big system.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
It is your olympic system. It is your brain. Okay,
your fould.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
I can work with that.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
That and there's a whole bunch of things like dopamine
and all of the psychological levers that are pulled when
we make financial decisions. While there is, beck As, you
probably know a lot of information out there about shopping
and how it has the ability to release dopamine in us.
You know this idea of like retail therapy, it's actually
(05:41):
really about the anticipation, not the actual ownership of that item.
That thrills us.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Is that right?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, so like you just want to do the thing. Yeah, impulsive,
We want the impulse, but it doesn't mean that we
need to own the boots.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
That's so true.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Actually, Okay, once we've got it, that's why we're chasing
the next tie. Huh so boots, Okay, what's next?
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Yes, that is so true. What you're saying is anything
rewards based has the potential to deliver that DoPT mean hit,
but there's a bigger payoff in the moment before you
buy something that makes.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
It feel so good exactly. Okay, it's like drugs. Literally,
we just keep going back for that dopamine here, and
it's really good, like at the end of the day.
That's why it happens. That's why addictions form, and that's
why a retail shopping addiction is actually a genuine addiction.
Like and I think some people just flip it off
(06:31):
and be like, oh, this isn't legitimate. Oh she's just
justifying her spending. Like it is legitimate. It is a
feeling inside of you that you can sometimes not control.
So I think it's really important to point that out
as well. And as we've seen, this has actually been
proven throughout the rise of South Korea. So there are
dopamine sites that they have developed, which are basically be
(06:55):
get There's fake online stores that are created in order
to simulate that feeling of shopping. You've got fake items,
fake carts, fake delivery trackers that they give you, and
it purely fuels this behavior because you're like, I'm gonna
do the fake things send me are tracking, Oh it's coming.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Oh my god, that's genius.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I mean it never arrives, that's okay. But what's most
interesting is even these sites use a whole bunch of
different psychological strategies to make us want to buy things
even more.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Oh okay, dirty like dogs.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah, they're like gammifying the fake shopping. Yeah, I see,
which I think is really interesting.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
Do you mean like sales offers or dark design tactics
or like how they do you go somewhere else to purchase?
Or it's like on the website? Why not both?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Why not both?
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Why not both?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
And once I start reeling them off, you're going to
know exactly what I'm talking about. So there's this whole
thing called present bias, where we often overvalue immediate rewards
relative to the ones that we might receive in the future.
So an example of this is the free shipping threshold. Yes,
so how often have you bought an extra thing that
you actually didn't meet just to meet the free delivery
(08:07):
threshold or have it upgraded to express? Like I do
that too, and I always have to catch myself. Like
the other day, I bought a jacket online and I'd
been looking at this jacket for a really long time,
and I knew once it came in stock, I wanted
to purchase it. So I've been a bit, I don't know,
creeping on the website and I was checking if they
had it in stock yet they didn't, And like I
(08:29):
do this like every week. I don't know if that's
crazy behavior or if I just really knew I wanted it.
I get it anyway, the second it came in stock,
super excited at it to my cart. The second the
cart said another ninety dollars until free shipping, I was like,
I better check the rest of the store.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Yes, yes, yes, no, ninety dollars is quite a jump, but.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Anyway, I checked myself and spent my six dollars on shipping.
And it is what it is, So wasn't great, but
I did what I did.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
That's okay, You're allowed. And like, because the what is immediate,
it seems like a better deal than it actually might be.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Yeah, because like obviously they're getting an extra ninety bucks
out of me for covering my six dollars shipping. Yeah,
like that's that's not a good deal. That's me spending
more money. Totally in my head, it makes sense.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, And it's like, oh, I wonder what other items
you could enjoy. But I'm like, well, that's silly. That's
the I'm just wait as victim to the victim to
the system.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
So the system exactly, our little lizard brains can't deal
with it. And I want to come back to this
point of the conversation a little bit later. But this
is also a strategy that many buy now, pay later
platforms actually completely exploit. Think about it, The immediate reward
of getting that thing that you want now completely outweighs
(09:46):
the ongoing pain of the purchase once you have it
and having to pay it back, even if it is
like better or more financially responsible for you to wait
until you can afford it. You just want to buy
it in the moment because you're like, but I want
it now totally. Even if technically, Beck, do you need it?
You'll be like no, but like I need it like
I want it like, And it's so crazy how we
(10:09):
can individually confuse needs for needs yeah, and once for
wants like once for needs and needs for once you
know what I mean, And I'll go, Beck, do you
need it? And you go yeah, and I'll go yes,
is it crucial and critical to your survival? And you're
going to go, yes, I need another brown jumper, Yes
(10:30):
I do, and like, but we get confused with our
own feelings because like, internally you deeply want want that
right totally, so it feels like a need. So I
don't want you guys thinking I don't get it, like
I too. I'm just a girl, like I do suffer
from this and it's something that I have to consistently
check myself on.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
That's very comforting. So that even you have a lizard brain,
you have a lizard brain, so okay, sneaky, sneaky, sneaky.
What other tricks he use to take advantage of our
limbic brain?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Okay, So lots of businesses like to use our lizard brain,
and heaps of businesses will appeal to our sense of
loss of version and our perceptions of the status quo.
So this might actually be a little bit more common
than you think, and it probably affects you in ways
that you hadn't considered before. This isn't just that feeling
that you get when you miss out on a really
(11:22):
good sale a gift with purchase. Maybe you're and you
might not resonate with this, but lots of my friends
are going to resonate with this your next mecca beauty
loop box. These might be the reason why you haven't
switched banks or insurance providers like Yes, because the idea
here is that somewhere deep down you are reluctant to
(11:44):
lose the consistency or the comfort of what you're currently receiving.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Yeah, you really like it.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
I get it. We like we're humans. We like being comfortable,
and change is deeply uncomfortable, even if it's not financially
benefiting you. The idea of switching or you having to
inconvenience yourself back it triggers this loss of version, and
you put it off and it ultimately costs you more
(12:12):
in long term. Yes, how many times have you thought
I could probably get a better phone plan. Mm, can't
be bothered though I don't want to do it, like
it's going to put me out. Yeah, inconvenienced. That's actually
triggering your loss of version, and you feel like that's
a loss, even though it's actually going to be a game. Yes,
but your body is telling you I'm losing something, like
(12:36):
you're not. Your lizard brain's not articulating that, but you're
getting that feeling of loss with the idea that you
would have to do some work to achieve that.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, true, rude. I know. So it's not
just because the process is painful. You're seeing that deep
down somewhere, I would rather maintain the status quo, even
if it costs me more, just to avoid change, or
you're kind of like losing that. Yeah, the familiarity, the
comfort of it all that it does cut it kind
of sucks.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Humans inherently hate change. Yes, we hate it. We don't
like it.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
It's scary.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Yeah, And like this could be like small things like
if you caught the train to work and there was
like it went down a different train line, you inherently
wouldn't have liked that, even if it got you to
the same place. Same time. You just don't like that
it took a different route because that's not the route
you would drive. It's why when we're in the car
with our friends and they're the driver, and you're driving
(13:28):
to somewhere that you know and they go with different route,
is it a bad thing back. No, necessarily, because you
still got to the same location.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
That's stressful.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
But you didn't like it because they turned left when
you would usually like turn right, and you deeply don't
like that because your lizard brain likes consistency. Yes, that
makes so your lizard brain is like, no, this is
not the same I want the same same, same sense.
So I want you to think also of cognitive overload,
so that decision fatigue that comes with shopping around. You know,
(14:00):
I thought it was just me, but it's actually no
coincidence that you instantly thought of how painful it might
be to change providers or get a better deal or
go a different route. Well, your mates driving like that
makes me annoyed. Yeah, you know, other people might go
that doesn't annoy me. Yeah, you're probably better than me.
(14:20):
Your lizard's probably smarter. That's fine. But this is something
called prospect theory, and it shows us that we also
feel the pain of losses roughly twice as intensely as
the pleasure of receiving gains.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
Wow, isn't that route That's really annoying.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
So like the little scale goes up a little bit
if we're happy, and then down twice as low if
we don't. Oh cool, exactly.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Cool cool cool.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
So it's not again I want to remind you, it's
your lizard brain, not you.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
And research shows us that even if we know about
these strategies, even if I teach you, even if I go, Beck,
study this, tell me what is that strategy? You go, yep,
got it on paper?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
There's no guarantee that we're going to be less susceptible
to them, totally, like you're still got to get it.
And so many of them are about operating on this
subconscious level or falling back to our limbic lizard brain.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
It's like evolutionarily, we're before even the economy or any
kind of like trade, whether it's money or whatever. It's
like we're just we were built for this. We're built
to be victims to yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
And it's so annoying because like how many times Beck
do I say, well, if you know better, you can
do better, and like I always say that, and it's
like about me personally, Like I'm like cool, if I
learn I can do better. Yeah, well maybe not, maybe
maybe not. Maybe we can learn and know better and
then not do better exactly.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
So like do we send a chairs and are there
any hacks to making more financially responsible decisions?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Yes, there are. I didn't do this episode to make
us feel bad about ourselves exactly. I think what might
be most helpful is if we work on a case
by case basis, using examples from our community. Beck, and
we're going to sink our teeth in right after this break.
All right, miss Beck sayed, we are back with another
(16:22):
deep dive episode devoted to the psychology of spending. We're
just about to unpack some of your most unhinged financial decisions. Recently,
we asked our community to share some of the money
habits that you just can't quit. Now. I say this lovingly.
I say this like your your big sister scared. Sometimes
(16:45):
some of you are making hectic money choices, and I
am here to kindly remind you that there are plenty
of others, sometimes better choices you could be making so
that you can actually afford the life lifestyle you want
and the lifestyle I believe you deserve, like you do deserve,
(17:06):
just be financially well off. Back, so does everybody in
our community. We've got to find a way for you
do not work against yourself.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Yeah, okay, help me, help.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
You, help me, help you, help me help you.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
So I've got a few messages and comments from our community,
and I thought you could go through. I've given you
some screenshots.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
You could go through and read some of the questions
from our community, and I can tell you what interventions
or things I would suggest as a response.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Perfect, Okay, I love this. I love this. It feels
like a game. So that's when we have it is
from Emmy. If it's on sale in big signs and
stickers and bright lights and whatever other marketing ploy they try,
it gets me nearly every time. So what would you
do in this situation?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Just get you two? Because like same, It's almost like
if they put sale on it, I'm paying attention even
if I didn't want it, I'm like, oh, but what
is on sale? I mean?
Speaker 3 (18:02):
And you know the back rat knives always set off.
I'm like I got, well, I gotta buy one.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Why are they always I have questions?
Speaker 3 (18:10):
I know?
Speaker 1 (18:11):
And then is this right exactly? All right?
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Emmy?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
This sounds a little bit like framing, where offers might
not actually be as good as they seem. Like, let's
have a think about why they might need the big
red sign to sell something to you, right right right,
Like if it was so good, wouldn't it sell without
the big red sign and the bright lights and the
flashy things. It's so true, But they're getting my attention
in another way, and you know what, this lizard loves flashy,
(18:36):
shiny things. What I would be doing is investigating that offer.
So is it actually a competitive deal or is it
just marketing? I also want you to revisit your money goals.
Let's remember what you're aiming for and stay focused because
even if it is cheap and you know what gets me,
(18:56):
sometimes I will justify it to myself literally there in
the I'll be like knowing full well, I don't need
the new top. Wow it's on sale, And then I
look at the like fabric and I'm like, wow, that's
like woolen cotton, Like that's really good construction. Beck, Yeah,
that's not fake, Like, that's good. Do you know what
fifty bucks for this good deal?
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:15):
I might have to pick one up. Yeah, but I
get it. We need to remind ourselves was this actually
in my budget? Was I planning to purchase this? Could
I potentially put twenty four hours between me and my
spending on this item? And maybe let's add a buffer
present bias like it causes us to overvalue immediate rewards.
(19:38):
So maybe that twenty four hours between you and your
spending is going to mean that the sale tomorrow looks
a little bit dimmer. Yeah, and that's what we're hoping for.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Right totally. You know, you could do if something's fifty dollars,
you could be like, instead of buying it, you say,
oh my god, I found fifty bucks on the ground
and you've just put it into your bank account.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, that's about a deal, you know what I mean?
And you know what, every day I would prefer to
f fifty bucks on the ground. Yeah, that's a good
way to put it.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Hey, thank you.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Now the next one, okay, it was common. What is it?
Speaker 2 (20:07):
So?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
This one comes from Lizzy and.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
You're reading this holding your paper coffee cup.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
I need to get a keep cup.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
I do, but yeah, I'm not attacking the coffee cup.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Okay, okay. Now, so Lizzie says take away coffee.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
O what did T say?
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Perfectly good machine at home just doesn't hit the spot.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
I understand, I really get it. Mine hits the spot.
Come to my house. I'm gonna make you an at
home coffee and I think you'll be like Victoria, that
is it. I've got it down.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
What do you do?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
And then we've got a brevel. It's a brevelvel, not
a hay thing. But like, as you know, I'm in
love with my brevel and I will tell everybody.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Well I personally, I've started adding things like I'll put
milo in mind, like something to make it delicious, and
so I look forward to it. But we have a
few of these. So T said what Tea said, coffee
at work? Even though I bought a coffee machine that
I have at home so I wouldn't need it one
at work, I just drink more coffe. I think it
is the social aspect of it all. Totally just said
a dollar ice latte.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Oh my god, isn't that astronomical?
Speaker 3 (21:08):
It is I've seen ten dollar ones, so rude Taneka said,
coffee every day, piano trees, beautiful name my a doll
iced oat latte that briefly gives me the will to
live each morning one hundred percent fair. And Susie says,
my daily coffee. So these are very common.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Yeah, I guess like we're all got done.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
We get it and we are all on the same boat.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
And do you know what, beck I did this literally yesterday.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Yeah, I got up.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I had a coffee with my husband at home. I
even have been like practicing my latte art Gorge coffee.
And historically, beck, I've only needed one coffee in the
morning and then maybe I'll like crave one at like
three pm. Fine, that's my that's my Like I don't know,
Little Rosta had my coffee. Got to the office, Alicia goes,
(21:55):
anyone want a coffee? Immediately me yep, yep, I do
I want a coffee?
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Why did I need it? No? I just wanted to
join in.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
I know, I know. Sometimes it's like you're having a tea.
Sometimes the I.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Don't want to tea.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
I want a coffee totally. But you know, its like
do you want a tea and you're like the energy
of it all like popping the kettle on, it's so cozy,
but the actual drinking of the tea or the coffee
is like, well, I could have gone without.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I do need an oat latte. But let's talk about
interventions for this, because my queen's I get it. I
want you to track your spending. So I'm not saying
don't get the coffee, because I've said time and time again,
if coffee is something that you really deeply value and
you want to keep it in your budget, you will.
But what you will do is understand what it actually
costs you, so you won't just go, oh, but I
(22:41):
can't get rid of it. You'll go Victoria. I know,
on average, I spend X per year on coffee, and
I'm actually pretty comfortable with that because it gives me
enough value, Whereas on the flip side, I might turn
around and be like, beck, hey, did you know you
spend two thousand dollars a year on takeaway coffees? And
you're going to go, oh, that makes me deeply uncomfortable.
I don't want to do that, and that's when we
(23:03):
can start to facilitate some change. So track your spending,
understand exactly how much that is costing you. Also, let's
unpack while we're buying it. For me, more often than not,
a takeaway coffee out is social. Yeah, it's not, because
I'm on my own and I'm like, I just feel
like a coffee. I can easily walk past a coffee shop.
But Beck, if you and I are together and you
(23:25):
say i'd love a coffee, I got me too.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Yes? Why yes, So.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
You need to understand why you're buying. Is it social,
is it situational? Is it something else? Let's revisit our
money goals. Remember what you're aiming for and stay focused,
my friend, then remind yourself was this in your budget?
If not, and you keep doing it, do we need
to factor it in? Like life? Unfortunately, I'm really sorry.
(23:52):
For most people, life is about compromise. You cannot have everything,
or you cannot have everything at all at once at least,
So if you're going to prioritize your coffee, what else
are we going to get rid of?
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Like?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
What are we going to change in the background so
you can still live your best life? Because like, I
am not subscribed to this idea of fire at all,
and I know some of our listeners are, and I
adore that for you. I really wish I could, but like,
I want to enjoy the journey and I think that
most people in our community are also journey girls. Lately
the destination sexy, but also day to day I want
(24:29):
to feel like I'm live love, laughing. Absolutely, So let's
just talk about whether we need to factor that ink. Also,
how do we make this more affordable? Do we join
loyalty programs? Do we reframe and go I'm just going
to buy my coffee at BP or at seven eleven
in the morning when I'm going past, because sorry, it's
twenty twenty six. That coffee is actually good now, it's
(24:52):
really good. It used to be bad, right, yeah, I
get it, Like I'm not saying, oh it used to
be that. But if you haven't tried a seven eleven
coffee ras, I think you would be pleasantly surprised for
two dollars delicious, right, like good beans often most of
them have oat milk options, heaps of them. Just they're good,
they're good like and this isn't promotional, this is just
(25:13):
me going stop being a snob. And like Beck, we
from Melbourne, we're inherently coffee snobs.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Absolutely and that's.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Okay, and we love a seven eleven coffee exactly. So
that leans into the how do we make it more affordable?
Or do we go, okay, we're going to take away
one coffee a week?
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Sure, boy?
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Is it two? So you can have them still, don't worry.
But instead of having five, do we do three? So
you do have tea on two of the other days?
But have you calculated what that might mean for you
and how that could benefit you? And you might go
that's worth it?
Speaker 3 (25:48):
Like, that's good.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Also, can we add some friction? How hard can I
make this for myself?
Speaker 4 (25:54):
Right?
Speaker 1 (25:55):
So? Do I take my Apple pay off my phone?
Every time I need to get a coffee, I have
to dig through my bag, get my card out, tap
it that way? Or do I make a rule where
I can only buy coffee if I have cash? Right? Like?
Because that would change it a little bit. It makes
it harder. And then whole of a sudden, when things
aren't as easy, you're kind of like, I can't be bothered.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
Yes, that's so true, and then you're like relieved that
you have to do it because you can't be bothered.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Yeah, You're like, oh yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
That's kind of nic it's actually so this one's from
cass shopping when I'm sad did that last week. I'm
trying to break that habit and Maca's Breakfast. I'm trying
to break that habit as well. Maca's Breakfast I do
love and I get it. That's hard beg Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Aim something better than a crispy, perfectly cooked Maca's hash brown.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Oh my god, I don't think there's anything.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
No, No, there's a reason they added that to the
all day menu. Yeah, there's a reason.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
They know, they know they get it.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
And do you know what I really love? Yeah, the
macas Brecky wraps. Oh yeah, you had those. I don't
want to promote them because like you shouldn't go and
spend more money on Maca's breakfast. But like the egg,
the bacon. They have a really nice sauce. I really
like the spicy one. They put a hash brown in there.
It is so good and it is warm, and then
(27:10):
you can get a Maca's coffee at the same time,
and that sometimes if I'm working really early mornings, that's
like my treat for like getting up and going to
podcast recordings at seven am to get stuff done. Fair enough,
I know, right, but also not fair enough.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
No.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
No, I've got a coffee machine at home, and we're
trying to talk ourselves out of this stuff, right, So
we're going to track our spending. I need you to
understand exactly how much this emotional habit is costing you.
Let's talk about why you're buying. Is there a more
affordable way to support yourself through these moments? Like, I
get it, I get sad, Like I think it's important
(27:48):
that our community knows that I'm on antidepressants and anti
anxiety medication because I'm not God. And you know what,
I've tried to take myself off them before because I'm like,
I don't need this. Life's good again, It's just my brain. Yeah, Like,
if I am not medicated, I am sad and that
(28:08):
is okay, and I'm dealing with it. But my spending
was really reflective of my mental health early on and
every time I've gone off my medication. I'm not promoting medication,
but I think you guys deserve transparency in these spaces,
not me going Beckett's It's not good that you're sad, yeah,
and move on, Like, I get it. You know what
(28:31):
makes me feel good spending. You know what makes me
feel better knowing that I'm going to be really rich
one day. True, and like we need to look at
the bigger picture. Yea, And sometimes the bigger picture is
as blunt as that. Yeah, Like we're not going Beck,
reframe it. You'll get a bigger one later, Like, Beck,
do you want to be rich as f exactly how
(28:53):
do we work towards that? So let's unpack it, but
also let's work out why are you sad? What's going on?
Is there something that we could help you with? Like
could you call up a friend and just have a chat?
And sometimes something that really helped me. I hated being told, oh,
just call a friend because I thought it meant that
I'd have to call back up and be like, hey, Beck,
(29:13):
I feel sad. You don't yeh, call and check on
your friend because like o'h call up and be like, hey, Beck,
how are you? Just what was thinking of? You want
to have a chat? And all of a sudden we're
having the conversation that I needed to have to boost
my serotonin and my dopenine Like I'm feeling good because
I just checked in with a friend. Yeah, we don't
have to talk about it if you don't want to.
(29:35):
Could you go for a walk or are you only
getting Maca's breakfast and shopping when you're with a particular friend.
Do we need to identify that and potentially change the
way that we interact with that friend. I also again
need to remind you ask yourself these questions. Is it
in your budget? Do you actually need it? Have you
factored it into your budget? If not, maybe we need
(29:58):
it later, Maybe we need it next month. Revisit your
money goals again, remember what you are aiming for and
stay focused. And how do we make it more affordable
for you? Could we go to macas less? Could we
find a more cost effective way to self sue out
ourselves totally? Like what does that mean? Like for a walk?
(30:18):
Maybe we reframe it and the game is you go
to Chadsten and the goal is to not buy anything,
but we can look and we can take notes on
everything that you want. You could take pictures of stuff
so that you can file them away for when you
achieve something that you go I really do want those genes.
I'm going to go back and get them because I
deserve them.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Also, this obviously doesn't apply to like clinical impressions. Just
like if you feel if you're feeling low like this,
this really could work and ethnically going for a walk.
It's like so like when I feel sad and people
tell me that, I'm like, I want to catch your walk,
but I will lay down forever and then and then
I'm like, well, reluctantly, I won't walk.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I actually hate being told but it is crazy, kind
of is crazy, and like I hate to say it,
but my mum was right, Yeah, sometimes you need to
get out of bed. Yeah, and even if you're not
enjoying this, because I get it. Sometimes just get out
of bed, have a shower, go for a walk, make
sure you've had some water and eaten something, and then
(31:17):
we can talk about how you're feeling.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Yes, And I'd be like, fine, yes, exactly, exactly. Okay.
The sex one comes from Steph. So Steph says that
they've been spending too much on gifts. I've spent two
thousand dollars in the last three months alone. Help.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Oh my goodness, that's so much money.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Very generous. I wish I was Steph's fread.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Okay, we're gonna have to ask ourselves a few questions
here is it just a bit of a busy like
birthday gifting season? Like you know, I know the time
that I asked this wasn't Christmas. But is it like
every single family member's birthday ever? Or is something else happening?
I want you to unpack why you're spending this much?
(31:56):
Comparison culture sucks fixed ideas around gifting? Do you have
fixed ideas around gifting or generosity? Are you feeling maybe
like you're obliged to spend certain amounts? And why revisit
your budget? I said this time and time again. For
me at Christmas time, I require a budget, like I
(32:18):
have a specific Christmas budget, Beck, You're on it, because
otherwise I could go ham like. Gifting is my love language,
So I need to write down all of the people.
Are like, there is a free gifting spreadsheet on the
sheets on the money website for Christmas spending. I gave
you mine, but I write down every single person and
(32:39):
I'll go like, Beck, yes, Brook, you know what I mean.
And then I go how much do I want to
spend on each person? And I might go fifty dollars
And in my head, fifty dollars is not that bad
for a gift, So I go, oh, that's not too bad,
no worries. But then I've got Beck, yes, Brooke, And
all of a sudden, I can see the tally and
I haven't spent anything yet, but I'm just allocating how
(33:00):
much I want to spend on you, h And I
realize I'm at one hundred and fifty bucks already. Yeah,
And then I go, is that reasonable? Is that feasible?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
No?
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Maybe I want to spend thirty dollars per gift, or
maybe it's different, maybe I want to spend one hundred
dollars per gift. Whatever your number is, it doesn't actually matter.
But sometimes when we can like write down what our
gift spending is, that will make us reassess. And I
think it's more thoughtful. So don't get me wrong, i
might be stripping money off your gift. But I'm now
(33:30):
going to go, oh, actually, I cut the budget. Now
I've only got forty bucks for Beck. Now I'm deeply
thinking about what I can buy for Beck. Instead of going,
I'm just going to go shopping and see what I
can find and just pick a random thing that I
think fits Beck. Yeah, Like, and then you're going to go, oh, actually, Beck. Really,
she's like quite a generous person but loves like experiences
(33:51):
over things like what could I do for Beck? Like,
I'm thinking a little bit more deeply about that person,
and I think that that's really nice. But revisiting your budget,
you could do this for birthdays. You could do this
for the rest of the year as well, so you know,
write down all the people that you buy birthday gifts
for and set yourself an annual budget. Yeah, so that
you go, Okay, every birthday, I can only spend X.
(34:13):
But I'm gonna think about this all year. Keep a
list in your phone of ideas. Mine's creepy. I love it.
I've got a list of ideas for you. I've got
a list of ideas for Jess. I got a list
of ideas for my husband. As things come up and
I'm like, oh, I know that Beck never has X
y Z. Maybe I could put that into a gift
for her at some point. Think about that person. Are
(34:36):
they an acts of service person? Write a really nice
letter to them, bake someone their favorite dessert or make
them something. And then also create a buffer, like wait
a day before purchasing to create friction and give yourself
some consideration time. And if you say, Victoria, I can't
create a buffer because I buy the gift on the day.
(34:56):
That's a recipe for blowing your budget every single time.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
If it's helpful at all, because I know that I've
When I was with my girlfriend, we kind of had
a lot of discussions about like I would spend a
lot of money on gifts, but it was only because
I would like see things and just like immediately want
to buy her. I'd see her favorite chocolates, I'd want
to buy it immediately, like I'm not even thinking, and
same with my friends and stuff. And so what I
did instead was I created albums in my phone and
(35:23):
it would be labeled all the things that me think
of you or all the things that I wanted to
buy you, and then you just put like, and it
could be like for all these friends, like say something
they really like, have a friend that loves minions randomly,
I'll see that. I would take a photo put in
that album the albums for her, and she would see
all the things that made ME think of her in
that day or in that week or whatever. And so
(35:43):
if it's satisfied that need for you to let your
friend or your partner or someone know that you've thought
about them. Seeing something they're like, you can send it
to them via photo, and I feel like that's just
as satisfying sometimes, So try that.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
If that's really cute, You're going to make someone so happy,
And I hope that they're in the She's on the
one community like sweet maybe just like a little a
little like a reminder if anyone wants to slide into.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
Vaccinem freshly single.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Who's next?
Speaker 3 (36:13):
Who's next? Okay, Rachel? Oh maybe it's Rachel. Next is Rachel?
Rachel says, I use PayPal pay in four Thankfully I
don't have any other buy now, pay later, but I
keep justifying bigger purchases with PayPal pretty slope. I totally
get it.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
It's just what would you do?
Speaker 3 (36:30):
I unfortunately do the same, and I use it a lot.
But I the other thing, Rebecca, So I know, I know,
but I'm Ableete have talked about that. I know, I know,
but I want you know. I'm so like because I've
gone to a point where I'm so scared of debt
now that I pay it off and it feels so satisfying.
I'll pay off each thing one by one. I don't
do a bolk pay. I'll see the satisfaction of being
like seven dollars twenty three here and like you know,
(36:51):
and so I think that it's not good.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Maybe I've been trying to reframe this. You know, when
you sign up to these things that you like Victorias.
In my head, you.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
Absolutely are absolutely sorry.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I'm so sorry. You are a grown woman with will.
You can make your own decisions. No, I just care
about you and one what's best for you. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
I think I've just impressed that because I was bankrupt,
I couldn't get after pay or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
So now you have it, you're like shiny and now
it's like.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
Kind of cool. But you are in my head. I
want you to know at all times.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Especially when you do wordle. Especially when you do wordle. Anyway,
both of us have the same word all start word,
which is audio. Yep, I reckon that we're not the
only ones. Anyway, my friend, Rachel, track your spending. I
need you to understand how much you're actually spending and
how much you actually owe, because it's very likely that
you have your head buried in the sand. Because if
(37:44):
you're doing by now, pay later on any platform, because
PayPal buy in four is a buy now, pay later
as well. You probably don't have a really good understanding
of how much you can actually afford, because like, if
you've got the cash in your bank and you can
actually afford it, you wouldn't have needed that service. So
we're probably shooting ourself in the foot a little bit
(38:06):
there and letting it enable you. Now, I would add
a buffer. I would literally put a day between my
spending at least to make sure that we're curbing that
present bias and really understanding that the anticipation of the
purchase is usually better than the other thing. Also, let's
reframe it. Instead of buy now, pay later and you
(38:27):
get the item right now, Beck, what if I said
to you, hey, Beck, you can have this item in
a month. I need you every week to give me
twenty bucks and then at the end of the month,
I'll give it to you. Yeah, Like, Lebi, do you
still want it?
Speaker 3 (38:42):
Probably not.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Cool because you're not going to wait for it. Yeah,
So ask yourself, would you be willing to wait for
this item? Like, hypothetically, if this item was out of
stock and it said delivery shipment is the first of
next month, would you go worry about it. Probably you
don't need it.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
Yeah, probably not.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
You don't need it, don't need to stop it, Like
tap you on the wrist.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
Stop this.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
The other thing I want you to do is set
really clear financial goals and budget accordingly. If it's not
in the budget, sorry you can't afford it. I'm sorry. Like,
I don't want to be that person, but I think
sometimes I have to be like, beck, stop it, you
can't afford this, and you go, yeah, you're right, Like
and that's okay, make your own decisions, but like I
(39:34):
don't want to enable you. Also, just like a final
little note on by now pay laters. It is the
second most common form of debt in Australia at the moment,
right behind credit cards. In twenty twenty five, the Australian
Financial Securities Authority found that forty eight point nine percent
of all debtors had at least one by now pay
(39:55):
later debt, with the average balance creeping up from eight
hundred and twenty dollars per person in twenty twenty four
to eleven hundred and ten dollars in March this year.
So it's not the seven dollars that you were quoting.
Before most of us actually have more than one thousand
dollars of debt. If we are using this, why is
that important to our community, you might ask me, because
(40:18):
women are still outspending men when it comes to buy now,
pay later, and gen why and gen z are leading
adoption rates at fifty nine and fifty seven percent, respectively. Okay,
whilst it might seem like a really good idea at
the time, it is truly only a disguise of a
deeper issue, my friends, that maybe you can't actually afford
(40:39):
what you're buying, or that it's time to adjust your
budget and your financial goals to actually reflect your lifestyle.
Just because you've got the cash right in your account
in that moment does not mean you can afford it.
Another rule that I saw one of my friends mentioned
the other day. She was like, Victoria, I have started
telling myself that if I couldn't buy the idea three
(41:00):
or four times, I can't afford it. M Yeah, And
I'm like, oh, that's a good one.
Speaker 3 (41:05):
So three, like times three or four the actually let's
say something, something's one hundred dollars. Yeah, if you can't
buy four of them.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Yeah, if you don't have the cash in your account
to buy four of them. Oh you should buying it.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
Hell yeah, okay, I like that.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
And like, there's just different things. And I share this
not because I'm like, oh, that's the perfect strategy, but like,
sometimes a little thing sticks in your brain and that's
the thing that helps make a change totally. So let's
throw so many of them at your wall and see
what sticks, and see what works for you, because you
might go, You're right, that little strategy works for me.
Cash flow systems might work for somebody else. Adding up
(41:40):
how much every single coffee is costing you every month
or every year might work for another person. Someone else
might add it up and be like, map, I don't
notice it, so I don't mind. Yeah, Like everything is
going to look different for different people. Yes, okay, something's
got a stick, surely exactly. And my friend, I think
we're going to wrap it there. Friends don't let make
(42:00):
terrible money decisions back.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
That's true, they just don't.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
And that's all. Unfortunately we have time for today. If
you have felt a little bit confronted by this episode,
just know that I would hug you if I saw
you in person, and maybe you also learn something new.
I hope you learned something new, tell us about it.
You can hear us up in our DMS, or you
can leave us a comment or a review. Or you
can join our She's on the Money Facebook group to
(42:24):
share your stories of reckless spending and recovery in our
next money Wins post. Otherwise, my friends, thank you for
tuning in and being part of our community. We'll catch
you later in the week for another episode of Friday Drinks.
Take care of yourselves out of each other? Bye did buy?
Speaker 4 (42:45):
Shared on She's on the Money is generally nature and
does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money
exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied
upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you
do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS
TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
Tailored towards your needs.
Speaker 4 (43:05):
Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives
of Money sherper P T y L t D A
B N three two one six, four nine, two seven
seven
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Zero eight a F s L four five one two
eight nine
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