July 23, 2026 • 41 mins
Who among us has spotted a friend who was skint? Who among us has *been* that friend? Okay, but what if the situation was more complex, and that friend is also tackling long term mental illness and physical disability?
On this week’s episode of Friday Drinks, Victoria, Bec and Jess discuss a spicy Money Dilemma concerning friendships and finances, specifically what happens when you’re financially supporting a friend and their money choices don’t align with your values. They also cover whether economic downturns are a good time to switch supers, and what you might look out for if you’re considering a change.
Tune in for the usual Money Wins, Broke Tips and what the team would really want in a dream gift hamper. Spoiler: It’s wholesome af.
STRUGGLING WITH DEBT? You aren’t alone and we’ve created a whole playlist to help you out of it at https://open.spotify.com/playlist/02sw2NObvt18jd0ayvIHn3?si=EfpDAWlzRkyU0IVaU5elHw
SORT OUT YOUR SUPER: Here’s a blog to help you do it. Search for ‘super 101’ on the shesonthemoney.com/blog
APPLY FOR THE REGO REBATE (BY 31 JULY 2026): Calling all Victorian listeners: if you haven’t already, here’s your last call to apply for the rego rebate before Fri 31st July to get money back on your rego! Visit service.vic.gov.au/services/registration-rebate to apply!
New here? Follow us on Instagram (@shesonthemoneyaus) for Q&As, bite-sized advice, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you.
Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements (queenacknowledgements.com)
The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708, AFSL - 4451289
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is Satasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations
woman and I'm here to acknowledge country. Te Glenn Young
Ganya Niana, Kaka yah Ya Binahwaka nian urka in Nimbini,
yakarum Jar, Dominyagumika Umaga, Ihowaka, Nile Waman damon Immalan Bumba
bang Gadabama in and now in Waka ghana on yak
rum Jar Watanadaa. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather on the
(00:24):
lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank, acknowledge and respect
the Abiginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take
pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see.
She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,
bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
She's on the Money. She's on the Money. Hello, friends,
and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that
makes personal finances fun, especially on a Friday, that grand
old time of the week where we gather around the
recording studio to celebrate and commiserate with you our wonderful community.
(01:06):
I'm Victoria Devine and joining me for Friday Drinks is
none other than our friend Beck Sayed and miss Jesse Garci.
They've got money wins, they've got broke tips, and they've
got nothing but love for you guys. On today's episode,
we're covering, I would say, a pretty timely money dilemma
about superannuation, and honestly, there's no better time to take
a very close look at yours. We're also going to
(01:28):
be discussing a very spusy DM that involves gently pairing
back on your financial support that you've been giving to
a friend. Oh, this sounds like it might sting a
little at the same time, the good, the bad, and
the taxing. We do love a money dilemma, so please
my friends send them our way by visiting the She's
on the Money website and then tapping the little link
(01:50):
to record a message. Right there, we play all of
your voicemails out in the office and we might just
answer yours on our next episode. Also, guys, you ready,
this is something that we never skip. Oh my god,
I'm so excited. You know, you know it's a five
star review. It's five star review time where we seek
out your sweet little words of support across the potosphere
(02:11):
and gather them for safe keeping like a sweet little
I don't know written trinket. If you would like to
share your trinkets with us, my friends, please go rate
the podcast wherever you are tuning in from Apple Podcasts,
Spotify comments wherever. Guys we have a review. It is
from our friend deb Y. Deb says, guys, do I
(02:32):
have a five star review for you? I started listening
to the podcast randomly a few years ago, but at
the end of last year, I found myself in financial difficulty,
facing uncertainty with paying my mortgage, and hitting absolute rock
bottom with my mental health. That's when I started binging
Cheese on the Money. I'm now investing, have a growing
savings account, and feel more financially stable than I ever
(02:55):
have before. Five stars just isn't enough for the life
saving inspiration and empowerment that the team gives to the
Sheese on the Money community. From the bottom of my
heart and my bank account, Thank you, Oh, that's so
cute you.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Can help, and happy that you're out of that stressful
period as well.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
I know it's amazing. I don't know if it makes
me sad or proud or excited or upset. I don't know.
I just it makes me sad that so many of
our community find us when they're at their rock bottom.
But also like how lucky are we to be? Like
hopefully that like, come in, come in, We've got you.
That's cool, Like we'll give you the tips and the tricks,
and we don't have any judgment whatsoever, and we'll put
(03:35):
you in the best possible position. So thank you for
thanking us from the bottom of your heart and your
bank account. I thought that was really cute. Thank you,
dam that's so sweet, it's soact. I love it all right.
So that one was a good one, I think, really wholesome.
But you know what else is kind of wholesome. It's
our question of the week. This community member's question goes
exactly like this. Oh my god, beautiful people, I have
(03:58):
a Friday drinks question that I have been meaning to
ask and want to know the answer to so desperately.
If you could receive this is so Jessica richie, if
you could perceive a homemade goodie basket or hamper, what
would you want someone to put.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
In it for you?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Oh, that's a very cute question. It is very's wholesome
and also just for those of you following along who
might not know jessic Ricci as well as we do.
She's the Queen of the hamper.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Yes, I do love a good hamper.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
You do love a good bite, but we're talking like
curated for you in a pretty box, Like she gifts
the best gifts, so straight under the bus, jest, what
do you want in your hamper?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
I love a little homemade, handmade gift. I feel like
a sweet treat is always winning with me because I'm
a big sweet tooth. Something preferably chocolatey based for.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
A Roches, do love one? I would put a whole
boxer for a Roches?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
I do, yes, my favorite because I can't buy them
for myself.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Is we all know not in this economy. I'm so sorry,
absolutely not, absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
I should say it's like a home mate, so like
they're making the gifts to go in the basket. So
I would love you know what I would love? Yeah,
something knitted, but I also know that like knitting a
garment is very very time consuming, but like there's I
have lots of knits pinned on my Pinterest that are
like obviously people have made themselves and they look so
beautiful and such good quality, but also like I know
(05:21):
that that would take somebody a long time. So maybe
a scarf if not a jumper or something like that
would be really cool to get, okay, or oh you
know what, our friend Michelle, she made us a few
years ago, these little shower steamer things that you like,
put them in your shower and they make it smell
really good. Oh yeah, they were really nice.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
There are lots of.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Fun little things you can make to put in a hamper,
anything made with love.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
I love.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
I didn't take the homemade aspect and so that will
make me, I guess, like change my decision, but.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Right, don't What do you want in your hamper?
Speaker 4 (05:54):
But what I really want is just like a lot,
maybe two or three packets of chocolate Scotch fingers.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Ideally you do a scott I do love a scotchyter
all together. Now, I would like some tea bags to
go with that. I kind of want like in my hamper.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
I wanted to be like, I want the person to
curate my night for me, so I want them to
like tell me what I'm doing via hamper, And so
it's gonna be tea bags gonna be I know I
was gonna be a cut in a bond Soy and
then it's gonna be so I'm like, okay, I know
that they want me to have.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Tea and they want me to eat Scotch fingers. He
still on the bon Soy train. I am not the happy,
happy Soy boy so sweet that you remember that. Yeah,
I thought you to rich that I do.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
But there's something about bon Soy, but no, I actually.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Like oat milk and my tea.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
To take that back, the alternative milkoat oat.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Milk will be in my hamper, Okay, I can because
I ordered that online even like it's my oat milk
choice and I have to have it in my coffees
at home. Oh my god, totally you can't buy it
at the supermarket. Yeah, what the hell? I can be
your oat milk dealer. Thank you, yours coming from you?
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. It would have Jeska Ricki's sneaker
doodle what I we can both have because I'll update,
(07:06):
I'll update. I don't want those anyway. And then there's
gonna be some sort of I like a shower steamer.
Speaker 4 (07:12):
I think there's also gonna be like a DVD in
there that's like, you don't have to think about what
movie you're gonna watch.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
There's here's a DVD.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
You just pop it on and school.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Yeah, well I have no idea and no way to
play it, but I'll know that that's what they intended.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
I love it all right. Well, I don't want Jessica
cookies because I want her pecan toffee once. Yeah, okay,
so I would argue even better? They were so no
you did you? Did you remember the ones? They were
like kind of friends giving. I don't know if you
had them. Didn't you bring them into the studio because
(07:48):
we made you make them again? Maybe? Anyway, they are
like this cinnamony like caramely biscuit and that like is
pressed like into like a dip, right, and they like
felt like they had the coating, correct me if I'm wrong,
jess the coating of like a cinnamon donut on the
outside of the cookie. Don't remember these? And then they
(08:10):
were like the caramelized peacans sitting in the top. Yes,
oh filthy. I loved it. So I want basically a
whole hamper of those. I wouldn't mind a new wheat pack.
Oh that's a good one, yea. I wouldn't find a
new wheat pack. We're going into winter, and I just
pulled mine out and I was like, well, I've definitely
been using this and it's obvious for the last fifteen years.
(08:32):
And the knitted thing sounds really cute, right, So like
one of my friends CC, her mom has been knitting
her kids jumpers cute, and prior to having kids, I
was like, cool, what a nana like activity. And now
I'm like, that is so wholesome. I wish my mom
doesn't knit like Judy step off, like, why are you knitting?
(08:55):
Don't knit, Judy, That's fine, but it's so cute. But yes,
I lean into the like knitted thing and like maybe
like a knitted pair of like bed socks or something
really wholesome, right, and like one of those fluffy materials. Yeah,
so that's what I want in my homemade hamper. I
actually thought that Beck was going to say, I want
a whole hamper a visa gift cards is what I
(09:18):
thought you And I was like, that would be so smart,
genius for cookies and songs. Anyway, I feel like I
feel like we could go on and on forever about
what we want, but I do love a hamper and
I loved that question even more. That was really sweet.
Now for something that you'll hopefully love even more than that,
(09:40):
Money wins Where Miss Jessic Gricci. She's scoured the comments section,
our DMS and general mail to find out what you
guys have been celebrating this week. Miss Jessic Gricci. What
have you got?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Right?
Speaker 3 (09:51):
A start off this week with one from it?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Hold On, hold on? Don't you have a money win
this week? Oh? I do have a money win? Can
we start at the top the for sure? I'm so sorry.
I was like, hold on, I know that community is important,
but our team group chat has been popping off over this.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Tell me this is your sign to enter those dumb
little online competitions that you don't think anyone wins. Because
I entered one this week and I won.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
What did you win?
Speaker 3 (10:17):
I wanted Doctor Dennis gross alid Mass, which is one
hundred dollars light mask and the crazy.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
The one that I spent an exorbitant amount of money on,
and I great it. I love it, got it for free.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
I'm so excited. It was like a shopping center. It
was high point anyone on the West Side, and it
wasn't even in person. It was one that like popped
up on Facebook. They were obviously doing like data collection,
you know, popping your email answer in twenty five words
or less, like why you come to the shopping center?
And I was like, obviously it's Sizara and the big
Mecca and it's.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Been good at that. You would have scripted something really nice. Yeah,
didn't take very long.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Didn't think twice about it, to be honest. And then
last night literally I got an email and I sent
it in the group slack because I was like, guys,
this is amazing.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
So you like, now you have an LED mask and
I feel like you've been talking about one for ages
but you were like they're so expensive, absolutely not, maybe
they won't work. The universe has provided you arguably the
best one on market. I am so grateful.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
I'm so excited, and yeah, so this is your sign.
Everybody just like, what's the worst that could happen?
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Take plun But I also really like what this means
for this. She's on the Money team aesthetic not because
we're all going to get hotter because we're using a
LED mask, but Brooke and I like to turn up
to our team meetings with our masks on. It's all
going to look like we're out of Star Wars. Yeah,
hell yeah, yeah, I can't wait.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
So it's so stay tuned. Photos coming Soon's I'm sure
all right. This week, I'll start with one from Tiffany
who said, I went to the laundrette on Friday as
it was my thirtieth visit. I got two loads for free.
Oh the money I saved when straightened my savings account,
and I feel like every dollar really counts these days.
So true, absolutely, so true. Then am I said money Win.
(12:01):
Don't forget you can apply for the twenty percent rebate
on your Redgo if you're in Vixoy.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I forgot about that completely.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
I did it yesterday.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Do not do it for everybody.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
It's for literally everybody. If you've paid your redo, even
if you only paid part I believe they'll pro rata it.
They work it all out for you, which is awesome.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Yeah, done again.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
So download the services up so it literally is like
two clicks. It's so easy. And then they email me
back within twenty four hours and said, yep, confirmed you
getting two hundred and twenty dollars back.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Isn't that crazy that it's just not automatic? Like it's
smart from them to not make it automatic because it
means they're going to save money because so many people
are going to either miss this or just like not
do their life admins. So like from a budget perspective,
it doesn't make sense for them to automate it. Yeah,
but like yueens, go and do your life admin and
(12:49):
tell a body money.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
I messaged my friend group chat immediately said, guys, don't
forget today's the day, so.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Tell the people you know.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Anyone who's got a car.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
You're also had a great witch, got two hundred and
twenty bucks back, got it defaced us. I'm in there,
You're sorry.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Next, I've got a money in from Caitlin who said
she went to cancel her paramount. Plus they've given her
two months at ninety nine cents social cuep but for
two more months, watch a few more things, then probably
get rid of it after that.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
That is so funny because I've been doing a little
bit of a sponsorship audit recently, and I threatened my
New York Times subscription because like, if you're in my team,
you know I love a word. I love a saduko.
Oh yeah, I do it every day, like every day
over coffee. My husband and I this is so lame.
(13:36):
We do connections, we do wordle, we do the strands together,
and then I do my Saduco quietly and if our
baby christ that's on him. I'm busy doing my suduco.
But I threatened my subscription by being like cancel and
it gave me fifty percent off and I was like
thank you. So then I went through and I've been
like threatening all of my other subscriptions and like going
(13:57):
through to like the cancel before you hear like confirm,
just to see if they give me a discount offering.
A few of them did amazing. So this week, yes,
we're gonna threaten our subscriptions. Yeah, get on the cancel store.
Push it towards the edge. See what happens. I mean,
you can back off if you want the subscription still,
but you didn't get a discount, you'd be like fine,
I'm gonna keep you by least you tried literally no harm.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Next, I've got money win from Jamie who said money
and chocolate win. Williz didn't have the side of Cabri
Favorites that she had ordered, so they gave her three
small boxes to make up for the missing big one.
She ended up with more chocolate and it cost her
the same amount. That's a good money, great, great money win.
We love a chocolate money.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
We So you just got two presents for like other people.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
I reckon genuinely. And then last of this week, I've
got one from Jackie who said it's my birthday today,
so I've been getting my freebies all day. Money win Jackie.
And this is my reminder because all three of our
birthdays are coming up. Last year, we all said we're
gonna get all our subscriptions. I was like, I'm going
to film a video. I forgot you need to be
signed up for things two weeks ahead. So this year, okay,
(15:00):
I've waited a whole yeah to film this video of
like all the things that you can get for your birthday.
Love this And he's my remind for both of you
to like sign up for everything because your birthdays so
we're also close together.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
And also if you're in our Facebook group, go to
the search bar and type in birthday freebies because there
is a whole thread that people have been contributing to
of places that you can get free stuff. Yeah, free boost, juice,
free movie, chickets free like everything, but for your birthday,
So go and sign them up. And also if you
want to sign up your friends, you could definitely do
(15:31):
that and then send them a little cute birthday message
and be like, hey, by the way, I signed you
up for your birthday stuff, so you'll have a free
ABC and d imagine that if you didn't have any
cash to give them a gift.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
That's really fae.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
That's a great idea, thinks I came up with it myself.
Miss Beck, have you got some broke tips? I sure do.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
That one comes from Nora, who says, cancel all your
subscriptions and borrow DVDs from the library and call it
movie nights. I think it's a really cut idea of you, like,
grab some really cheapn go to the library. I didn't
even know you could get DVDs from a library, but like,
pretend it's like a Blockbuster. This is more for like,
if you have children, you can trick them into thinking
into Blockbuster. But it also works if you're an adult.
(16:11):
And it isn't that funny that DVDs a hot theme
in this episode, So I think it's a great idea.
This next one comes from Mona, who says vacuum sealing foods,
particularly freezer foods, make them last so much longer. The
next one is for myself, and I tried, well, I
didn't do this intentionally, but I didn't take a cart
or a trolley into the shops, and I just realized
you really end up buying what you need and nothing more.
(16:33):
So I'm my breakdip for this week is to not
take any sort of like anything that will help you
carry things around, because you end up putting so much
more on your basket or your trolley. If you go
in knowing like, oh, I need to get three things
and that's literally physically all you can carry, you end
up really not overspending.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
If you can't carry, you can't buy. You can't carry
people do It's like you've got sixty seconds. You can
as many books as you can pick up in the bookstore.
You can like buy, Yeah, but with groceries exactly exactly.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
You don't polls by, so I think that, Yeah, just
challenge yourself to try not to take anything in with you.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I ask you and Fate that the other day. I
was forced to do that because when you become a mom,
you got to buy annoying things you got to buy
or I do formula and nappies.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
It's cylindrical, it's hard to get it and bulky.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Yeah, the box of nappy I'm not gonna buy, like
the little cute pack of nappies, Like that's a waste
of money. We buy bulk boxes. And I got to
the supermarket and it wasn't my regular supermarket which has
free trolleys. It was the supermarket that needed the coin
for the trolleys. I don't even have a coin. Yeah,
And so I looked like a complete potato and I
(17:39):
basically got rid of everything else that I was planning
on buying. I was like, right, I can only walk
out of here with formula, nappies and a couple of tomatoes.
I'm calling it. Yeah, saved so much, I know, do
I not have things I need? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
But also saved so much absolutely on the money branded
trolley token.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
May I say, do you know what I've been talking
about that and we've been brainstorming it. Imagine a she's
on the money trolley token on your keys. That would
be very sure because it was like a two dollar shape.
Looks cute, But I save you. Also, you wouldn't want
to leave that accidentally in the trolley. No, I reckon
it's worth more than two dollars. Okay, shit true anyway
(18:22):
pay for itself though? Yeah, will you say that? I reckon?
That's a good example of you know, it's not about
the destination, but it's about the broke tips that you
collect along the way. We're just about to take a
quick break, but when we are back, we are diving
headfirst into this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
money dilemma.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here
to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big
and small, to answer your most burning money, career and
life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website
and leave us short voice recording and you might just
find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen
to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
High Season the Money. I have a question about my
super Thanks to your pod, I've been looking into how
well my super fund is performing. While it passes all
of the appro tests, I think I can find a
better performing fund with lower fees and would like to
move my entire balance for better growth. I don't have
any pre existing medical conditions, and so insurance isn't an issue.
I don't want to try and time the market, but
(19:30):
I'm wondering if I should hold off moving my superbalance
until the market recovers from the current volatility, as my
super's taken a bit of a dip this year. I
have about seventy five thousand in my account and I'm
thirty three, so have plenty of time to realize better returns.
Should I transfer my balance now or wait a little
bit longer?
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
What was you guys? Do?
Speaker 4 (19:50):
I guess, like, first of all, make sure there's no
exit fees. I think I would just like check like
for like, like if the next super fund had the
exact same portfolio in terms of what that super would
be invested in, then I guess it would be the
same money right now, like worth the same the shares
or the investment, and so transferring it over now would
(20:13):
kind of be like whatever. It really depends on, like
where the money is going and how it's being invested,
and if it's pretty much exactly the same and they're
both valued at the same amount if that makes sense,
which I know sounds it's hard to explain because it's
like they're not really shares. It's like super if you're
investing in the same thing valued at the same amount. Roughly,
I'm like sure, especially if it's like that is spot on.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yeah, like that's what a financial advisor would say. Yeah,
oh my god. Ah, I was just like watching you
being like, oh my god, I got a finger on
the pulse. So seek that's crazy. Yeah, because you're buying
and selling in the same market and.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Same market, and then if the fees are less in
this new fund, then you're also maybe saving money.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Yeah, how likely is it that true? Different super funds
would have very comp makeups, because it sounds like she's
my understanding what she said is she wants to move
to a more favorable like I'm imagining maybe she wants
to move from like a lower risk to a higher
risk because she feels like she's got time, in which
case would there be a lot of similar like crossover
(21:16):
the crop And it really depends.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
So if you're going from like one industry fund to
another industry fund, it's very likely that they hold very
similar things. You can kind of think of it like ETFs,
where you know, you've got a beta shares and then
you've got a vanguard and they might have top two hundreds,
and they both invest in that slightly differently, you know,
different fees, different triggers. That's all good, but they're kind
(21:39):
of comparable products. Whereas if she's changing because she's like
the I want to take it to a completely different
platform where you know, they only have ethical investments, or
they only have you know, a different range, or I'm
going from as you said before, like a balanced portfolio
to a high growth. That's where you're going to have
to think about this a little bit deeper, just changing
(22:00):
because you're like, oh, I would prefer to go to
Australian super and I'm with you know, host plus or
I'm with rest or whatever. I would say that kind
of like for like, if you're going to a similar portfolio,
they'll be offended that I've said that, by the way,
because you know, they're definitely different. They're all so different.
But in the grand scheme of things, yes, they all
have different investment methodologies, but at the ground, they're often
(22:25):
all investing in blue chip stocks and that's why it's
so important to look at your investments inside your super
to make sure that you're comfortable with it. But usually
know you don't need to wait for the market to
recover to switch super funds. And it's exactly what Beck said,
you're trading in exactly the same market. It's kind of
(22:45):
like when people are like, oh, my goodness, like, is
now a good time to buy or sell? And if
you're selling a house and then buying a house in
the same market, it's kind of left pocket, right pocket,
because if it's a good market and your house is
valued at all, you'll be selling for a lot more,
and then you're going to be buying in a market
where property is value at a hire. But that's okay
(23:06):
because you've got a bit more for your last property
and you put it into the next property. Because we
don't know when the market's get to tank. No one
comes knocking on your door and says, hey, JS, just
so now now's a perfect time to buy. Market's about
to go up. Never happens in a million years. And
if someone can do that, let me know, because I'll
start investing a lot more aggressively. Now. It does change.
(23:26):
If you're going to like a different portfolio construction. But
the one thing that I would be doing superannuation is
for the long term, so like I would be zooming
out and going all right, well, there's never going to
be a perfect time to change. And if the market
is a bit off right now, yes, you're selling your
assets for less, but when you purchase again, you're probably
going to get more shares that are going to increase
(23:48):
in value. Again, you're trading in exactly the same market.
For example, if you're going to sell in super FUNDA,
and let's just make it really simple, in super fund
A you have ten BHP, you do a transfer to
your new asset and they also are going to hold
ten BHP shares. You're probably going to have the cash
to transfer over and hold the same exact assets again,
(24:10):
which is fine. But the big questions here are is
the new fund cheaper, does it have good long term performance,
does it align with your values? Does it offer the
investment options that you actually want? Are there any insurance
policies inside your currency branuation that you would forego or
(24:30):
lose by switching to me. That's a really really big question,
and the insurance one is one that catches a lot
of people out because they don't realize that they have
a default policy for life income or TPD and they
kind of go, oh, it will be in the next one.
Everyone has it. But that's not necessarily the case anymore.
You don't just get given an insurance policy anymore. So
(24:53):
please please please check it. And I mean at the
age of thirty three. I'm not allowed to give financial advice,
not because we're right, just in general, I'm not allowed
to give anything further than general financial advice. But thirty three,
with the balance of you said seventy five thousand dollars,
I'd really be focusing on finding a fund that is
right for you for the next thirty years than trying
(25:15):
to time the market over the next few years. Great point,
like get shit done, Like just get it done, get
it in, make it a priority. Make sure you're making
regular contributions, make sure your employer has been paying your
super make sure that you know everything is set up
the way that you want, because that's what's going to
drive long term performance. Not you know, I switched at
the right time and now I'm a millionaire. That's not
(25:35):
going to happen. Otherwise I'd be waiting for a switch
as well. Yeah, yeah, Will exactly speaks juicy DM. Oh
my goodness, I'm so ready this, I guess DM since
putting together like well, we're going to talk on this
episode has been living rent free in my mind since
I opened it. And look, even the person writing it
said that it would be spicy, So I mean that
(25:57):
piqued my interest to be given. So you're ready ready? Hi,
she's on the money. I have a spicy question, girl,
you got me hook line and sinker. I have a
friend with long term mental health struggles who is also
now physically disabled and on the NDIS. I've financially supported
them in the past several times and they always say
they will pay me back, but they never have. But
(26:18):
last year they chose to go through IVF in order
to have a child, and now I get a request
for financial aid every other month. I don't actually know
them very well. We've hung out a handful of times. However,
I'm also very aware that I'm privileged to be on
top of my own mental health and I'm very financially secure.
How do I gently disentangle myself without feeling guilty for
(26:41):
technically being able to help without going broke. I get
a pit in my stomach every time I see a
message from them, And to be honest, I can't stop
myself from judging them for choosing to have a child
knowing that they couldn't afford to and they weren't mentally
recovered either, what do I do? God, this is so complicated?
Or so she wasn't wrong, that was spicy.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
Yeah, I am a little bit confused by because isn't
I feel really really.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Expensive not to say like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
So I'm like I wonder where that.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I mean, it's like this right, like so many times
we see people making decisions, and maybe she spent all
of the money that she had on IVF. Like people
make and I'm not saying confusing money decisions because I'm
saying they're bad. But people are going to spend their
money in line with their values. And they might not
be paying rent, but they might be paying for something else,
you know what. It's like, It's just it can be
(27:33):
really confusing, and that's where it's so important to not
judge people for the decisions they're making, because you could
have looked at that and been like, well, you're financially secure,
you did if that might mean that who knows, she
went and got a person alone and then spent it
all in IVF and she's even further up the deck crate.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
Yeah, that's so treading to actually, and thank you for
picking up on that. I think that also the confusion
comes from it is a friend, but you don't know
them that well even hung out that much. And it
kind of like there have been time my life where
you know, I've certainly I haven't been very rich at all,
and I have not had that much money, but I've
helped friends, friends that I know, and I feel a
(28:09):
warmth in my belly and I feel love in my
heart for them. And then even if I don't know
them that well, but I still know their energy and
I still know that they're like a trustworthy person. But
I remember I worked at this place and I barely
knew this woman and she asked me for money very soon,
and oh really, She's like, oh can I just borrow
like one hundred bucks until payday? And I was like,
the weird thing And the thing I think might be
(28:30):
symptomatic of a bigger problem is that you have what
it looks like to be like many friends, many family members.
Why are you asking me out of everyone in the world,
And so I'm like, maybe there's something dodgy going on,
but who knows. It's hard to say, Maybe it's even
impossible to say. But the fact that you haven't hung
out that much, I'm like, they could have not that
many people in their life, so maybe they feel like
they're close to you. So maybe ignore that. But that's
(28:51):
something to consider if you think it feels off. But
if you don't think it feels off, then it is
a really tricky one. You don't have to be living
this life where like you feel sickly anxious every time
the message. I know that feeling. It's the worst feeling.
I think, just like generally telling them you can even
like lie a little bit if you want to, just
be like I think, financially right now the best position.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I'm really sorry.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
They might just be able to figure it out on
their own if they don't have you to fall back
on anymore. So I think, try not feel gooidty because
you've helped them so much. But yeah, just the anxiety
you feel when they message, you don't need to be
living like that.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
You've done all you can do.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
You're more than welcome to be like I can't help anymore.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
It's really hard. Like I fear, I don't even want
to touch the having the child while struggling financially because
I think that is such a complex, sure topic and
one we don't have the time to delve into one
that I don't think I have the emotional capacity and
shelve into if I want to today. But what I
want to look at is what can you do to
get yourself out of this situation? Because what's putting you
(29:52):
here is kindness, and I think that that is a
really fantastic thing. I think the instinct to help others
is really important and it's really one fool that you
have that, But it also is really challenging when it
then puts pressure back on you when you're you know,
you're feeling more and more entangled in this person's life.
You're feeling like they're not making good financial decisions, and
(30:12):
you maybe feel like by supporting them financially, you're enabling
those poor choices, which is totally understandable. I would lean
into pointing them towards resources. I'm with you. I think
you know, we say no is a full sentence, But
also I think it's very reasonable to say to them
next time somebody keeps you up with this, Hey, can
I get a hundred bucks to get me through the payday?
Just saying I'm so sorry cost of living at the moment,
(30:35):
I don't have the money to give you. And that
in itself is enough of a conversation, absolutely, and that
kind of gets you out of the position, hopefully and
breaks the circle by saying, hey, like with everything that
I'm doing, I just don't have the capacity to help you.
You can then supplement that, or I would supplement that
with here are some resources that you could look at,
(30:56):
you know, for ndis, do you have a case worker
or somebody you can talk to. Can she maybe reach
out to our friends the National Debt Helpline and they
can help, you know, get her budget together, or look
at other resources maybe to provide her. I think all
you can do is give somebody the tools to succeed.
But it isn't your responsibility. And I know that that's
really hard. When you're somebody who feels the need to
(31:18):
help others and feel the need to fix things, you go, well,
if it's within my means, why wouldn't I, Like, why
shouldn't I? But also, you can't put yourself on the
back foot if the money's not coming back to you.
Do also have a right to look after yourself as well.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
And like as somebody who likes to do those things
as well, like I love looking after other people if
it's within my means, like I'm very likely to be like,
oh here, let me help you. But then there has
been situations where I've felt like I've been taken advantage
of because someone's asked for something repeatedly and they either
don't show the gratitude that I had anticipated, or you know,
(31:58):
they haven't paid it back or something, and you do
leave feeling a little bit like they've taken advantage of
a situation. And I think that's where you also need
to step back and go, well, why did I do
that in the first place, And for me, I didn't
do it, so like I think you need to approach it.
And this is coming from privilege, so I do acknowledge that,
but you need to approach it with I don't lend
(32:18):
people money, like I've just I have a blanket rule.
I don't lend you money. If you came to me
and you said I need money for something great, I'll
give it to you. There's no expectation. I hope that
one day you're able to, you know, pass that on
and do something for somebody else, because I don't want
to change the friendship dynamics or even relationship that I
have with anybody to be like, oh, you own me,
(32:42):
like I don't know, Jess, you know me well enough
to know that. It just gives me the ear clay.
I don't even like other people paying for my coffees
like it just there's something about my money story that
means that I just want to be fiercely independent, and
I desperately want that for other people. But for me,
going back to this question, it's not about the IVF.
It's not about their choice to have a child. Those
(33:04):
are life choices, and those are deeply personal, and those
are theirs, They're not yours. You don't get to have
a conversation about that. From my perspective. But you have
repeatedly given financial assistance to this person and been let down,
like you've repeatedly not been repaid, which is left you
(33:24):
feeling a little bit used. And I think it's very
fair to your point. Just your financial security doesn't create
an obligation to support other people. That's your financial security.
You worked hard for that, and you can care deeply
about someone and still decide that lending the money is
no longer something that you're willing to do, and you
actually don't owe them an explanation. I mean, I would
(33:46):
address every situation with kindness, but a simple response like
I'm just so sorry. I'm not in a position to,
you know, provide financial assistance moving forward. That's it. Yeah,
you don't have to justify your bank balance, you don't
have to justify your goals. Like they can kind of
read between the lines and be like, wow, yeah, I
never paid them back and now I'm taking the mickey.
(34:06):
If they don't have that level of self reflection, it's
on them, not on you, Like I think that you
don't deserve. Do you have to put more emotional energy
into this than you clearly already are, Like, I think
a very simple response to be like, I'm just not
in that position anymore. It's not actually up for negotiation. Yeah,
I'm just letting you know, like, so sorry, Jess, I'm
(34:28):
not in the position to provide any financial assistance. What's
someone going to say to that, do you know what
I mean? Like, are you going to come back and
be like, well, actually you are. You don't know my situation.
And then I think for me, it's like the judging
of other people's choices. It's not a bad thing, but like,
I think that maybe your brain is just really trying
(34:49):
to make sense of the situation because it's left you
feeling taken advantage of. And I want you to reflect
on that a little bit more, because you need to
create a boundary regardless of what you're doing. Yeah, does
that make sense? Like you need to create a boundary
with this person because clearly you're saying you're not close
with them. They're asking you for things that you're not
comfortable with, whether they make these decisions or not. They
(35:09):
needs to be a boundary, Yeah, because you can't consistently
be lending money to somebody who's not valuing that and
not paying it back and not doing what they said
they would do. Yeah, so that would be with the top.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Yeah, sorry, that's happening. But what did everybody else think?
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (35:22):
They popped off in the comments section. So first question
we asked the community, have you ever financially supported a
friend and later regretted it? Thirty eight percent of you
said yes, and sixty two percent of you said no.
That's a lot of people. Yeah, And then we as
do you think it's okay to stop helping someone financially
even if you can afford to help me? Reckon, I
(35:45):
think you have.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
To look after yourself, But I also can like that
be the question of like, do we have a responsibility
to lift everybody up?
Speaker 2 (35:52):
I actually arising tired lifts of ships, poddies, nuance. Ninety
seven percent of you said yeah, it's okay to stop helping,
which validating, but also like I'm sorry at the crux
of that that person has said they would do something
and then they didn't do it. Yeah, you can't just
keep like for me once, for me twice. Yeah, Like
(36:14):
you can't keep throwing money at somebody who says they'll
pay you back. You wouldn't allow that with an investment. Yeah, yes,
Like I'm not going to be like, so, hey, if
I give es money, you've never seen it again. It's crazy,
do you know what I mean? Like in that case,
give me mummy. And then we asked is protecting your
(36:35):
own piece more important than avoiding someone else's disappointment? Ninety
eight percent of you said yes. We then asked, what's
your two cents my Queen's. A lot of people were responding, oh,
my goodness, like IVF can't believe they do that. There
was a lot of conversation around if they can't afford
to have a kid, they shouldn't be doing it. End
of story, Like such a complex it's such a complex situation,
(36:59):
and I think adds to the layers of us trying
to break down and understand this situation. But I think
we need to remove the nuance. I think we need
to remove that like narrative and just go, hey, a
friend is asking for consistent financial support from you. You've
just told me you're not that close. They're not somebody
that you want an ongoing relationship with, and they're not
(37:22):
repaying it when they said that they would. I think
it's a pretty terrible decision to continue that at the crux,
like they can layer on the sub stories, they can
layer on everything else, but at the crux of this decision,
like it's their personal circumstances. And I think if that
then gets brought up and they're like, oh, but I've
been going through this and this, you go, oh my goodness,
(37:42):
I know, and that must be so hard, but I'm
still just not in a position to be able to
support you moving forward, Like it's not your circus, it's
not your monkeys, And like I think there's a lot
less nuance. Yes, there's complications, but it's not like your
sister or you know someone that's really close or your
best mate, where you're just like sow far out. This
is more complicated because I do want to maintain this relationship. Yeah,
(38:04):
like my queen, you're allowed a boundary. Yeah. Other people
said I would never give anyone an amount of money.
I wouldn't be comfortable not getting back, which is kind
of where I like to land these days. I'm like,
if I need to land it out, I've got to
come to the determination that I might not get that back.
If I get it back, fantastic if I don't like
that was a gift. Yeah, And I think that you
(38:25):
do need to deeply think about if you're going to
give to some more money, what were your expectations around that?
Like for me, no, I never want to talk about
it again, Like that's done and dusted, like that happened,
because otherwise it was never for that person. It was
always for me and my own personal gain and some
kind of weird power play. Absolutely not. Someone else said,
(38:46):
if they're relying on you now for money, they absolutely
can't support themselves in the future. Maybe send them a
few resources to support themselves. A lot of people said boundaries.
They keep asking because you keep giving. They know what
your boundaries are. You need to reinforce what you expect
moving forward.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
I thought that was really smart because it's true, like
as you said before, back, someone comes to you, like
in a past job and asks for money because they
probably they can sense that. Yeah, yeah, you would be supportive.
Someone else said, sometimes it isn't helping because what you're
doing is enabling.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Yeah, it's a really good way to look at it.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Yeah. Another person said that scenario is wild, and there
are a few other people that said, even if it
doesn't end in financial ruin, you are still entitled to
your own money that you have worked really hard for.
And then there was a lot of people and I'll
leave it on this sharing resources like the Good Shepherd
and money smart websites and stuff like that that they
can get support and just you also touched on you know,
(39:47):
honing in on their NDIS stuff. Do you have enough support.
Is there a caseworker you could talk to, like, where
could you go to from here? And if you're on
the ndis you very likely have a contact that you
could reach out to and be like, what can I
do here? And Mayken point you in the right direction?
For sure, that's probably a really great place to leave
it and wrap it. My friends, thank you for spending
(40:07):
so much of your time with us on this. Hopefully
it's still Friday morning. Maybe you're on your hot walk,
you're doing your grocery shopping with no basket, you're on
your morning commute. We really appreciate you, and we will
be back next week and especially on Monday, with a
brand new shiny money Darry. Until then, my loves, please
take care of yourselves and of each other. And if
(40:28):
you've enjoyed this episode, tell literally everybody you've ever met
over the weekend. It's all I want to hear about
in cafes. Have a good weekend. I love you, goodbye,
my god Bi.
Speaker 6 (40:43):
The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
the Peace ds TMD and obtain appropriate financial.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
Advice tailored towards your needs.
Speaker 6 (41:04):
Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives
of Money sherper P, T y L t D A
b N three two one six four nine two seven
seven zero eight afs L four five one two eight
nine
My name is Satasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations
woman and I'm here to acknowledge country. Te Glenn Young
Ganya Niana, Kaka yah Ya Binahwaka nian urka in Nimbini,
yakarum Jar, Dominyagumika Umaga, Ihowaka, Nile Waman damon Immalan Bumba
bang Gadabama in and now in Waka ghana on yak
rum Jar Watanadaa. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather on the
(00:24):
lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank, acknowledge and respect
the Abiginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take
pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see.
She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,
bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
She's on the Money. She's on the Money. Hello, friends,
and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that
makes personal finances fun, especially on a Friday, that grand
old time of the week where we gather around the
recording studio to celebrate and commiserate with you our wonderful community.
(01:06):
I'm Victoria Devine and joining me for Friday Drinks is
none other than our friend Beck Sayed and miss Jesse Garci.
They've got money wins, they've got broke tips, and they've
got nothing but love for you guys. On today's episode,
we're covering, I would say, a pretty timely money dilemma
about superannuation, and honestly, there's no better time to take
a very close look at yours. We're also going to
(01:28):
be discussing a very spusy DM that involves gently pairing
back on your financial support that you've been giving to
a friend. Oh, this sounds like it might sting a
little at the same time, the good, the bad, and
the taxing. We do love a money dilemma, so please
my friends send them our way by visiting the She's
on the Money website and then tapping the little link
(01:50):
to record a message. Right there, we play all of
your voicemails out in the office and we might just
answer yours on our next episode. Also, guys, you ready,
this is something that we never skip. Oh my god,
I'm so excited. You know, you know it's a five
star review. It's five star review time where we seek
out your sweet little words of support across the potosphere
(02:11):
and gather them for safe keeping like a sweet little
I don't know written trinket. If you would like to
share your trinkets with us, my friends, please go rate
the podcast wherever you are tuning in from Apple Podcasts,
Spotify comments wherever. Guys we have a review. It is
from our friend deb Y. Deb says, guys, do I
(02:32):
have a five star review for you? I started listening
to the podcast randomly a few years ago, but at
the end of last year, I found myself in financial difficulty,
facing uncertainty with paying my mortgage, and hitting absolute rock
bottom with my mental health. That's when I started binging
Cheese on the Money. I'm now investing, have a growing
savings account, and feel more financially stable than I ever
(02:55):
have before. Five stars just isn't enough for the life
saving inspiration and empowerment that the team gives to the
Sheese on the Money community. From the bottom of my
heart and my bank account, Thank you, Oh, that's so
cute you.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Can help, and happy that you're out of that stressful
period as well.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
I know it's amazing. I don't know if it makes
me sad or proud or excited or upset. I don't know.
I just it makes me sad that so many of
our community find us when they're at their rock bottom.
But also like how lucky are we to be? Like
hopefully that like, come in, come in, We've got you.
That's cool, Like we'll give you the tips and the tricks,
and we don't have any judgment whatsoever, and we'll put
(03:35):
you in the best possible position. So thank you for
thanking us from the bottom of your heart and your
bank account. I thought that was really cute. Thank you,
dam that's so sweet, it's soact. I love it all right.
So that one was a good one, I think, really wholesome.
But you know what else is kind of wholesome. It's
our question of the week. This community member's question goes
exactly like this. Oh my god, beautiful people, I have
(03:58):
a Friday drinks question that I have been meaning to
ask and want to know the answer to so desperately.
If you could receive this is so Jessica richie, if
you could perceive a homemade goodie basket or hamper, what
would you want someone to put.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
In it for you?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Oh, that's a very cute question. It is very's wholesome
and also just for those of you following along who
might not know jessic Ricci as well as we do.
She's the Queen of the hamper.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Yes, I do love a good hamper.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
You do love a good bite, but we're talking like
curated for you in a pretty box, Like she gifts
the best gifts, so straight under the bus, jest, what
do you want in your hamper?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
I love a little homemade, handmade gift. I feel like
a sweet treat is always winning with me because I'm
a big sweet tooth. Something preferably chocolatey based for.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
A Roches, do love one? I would put a whole
boxer for a Roches?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
I do, yes, my favorite because I can't buy them
for myself.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Is we all know not in this economy. I'm so sorry,
absolutely not, absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
I should say it's like a home mate, so like
they're making the gifts to go in the basket. So
I would love you know what I would love? Yeah,
something knitted, but I also know that like knitting a
garment is very very time consuming, but like there's I
have lots of knits pinned on my Pinterest that are
like obviously people have made themselves and they look so
beautiful and such good quality, but also like I know
(05:21):
that that would take somebody a long time. So maybe
a scarf if not a jumper or something like that
would be really cool to get, okay, or oh you
know what, our friend Michelle, she made us a few
years ago, these little shower steamer things that you like,
put them in your shower and they make it smell
really good. Oh yeah, they were really nice.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
There are lots of.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Fun little things you can make to put in a hamper,
anything made with love.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
I love.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
I didn't take the homemade aspect and so that will
make me, I guess, like change my decision, but.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Right, don't What do you want in your hamper?
Speaker 4 (05:54):
But what I really want is just like a lot,
maybe two or three packets of chocolate Scotch fingers.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Ideally you do a scott I do love a scotchyter
all together. Now, I would like some tea bags to
go with that. I kind of want like in my hamper.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
I wanted to be like, I want the person to
curate my night for me, so I want them to
like tell me what I'm doing via hamper, And so
it's gonna be tea bags gonna be I know I
was gonna be a cut in a bond Soy and
then it's gonna be so I'm like, okay, I know
that they want me to have.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Tea and they want me to eat Scotch fingers. He
still on the bon Soy train. I am not the happy,
happy Soy boy so sweet that you remember that. Yeah,
I thought you to rich that I do.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
But there's something about bon Soy, but no, I actually.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Like oat milk and my tea.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
To take that back, the alternative milkoat oat.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Milk will be in my hamper, Okay, I can because
I ordered that online even like it's my oat milk
choice and I have to have it in my coffees
at home. Oh my god, totally you can't buy it
at the supermarket. Yeah, what the hell? I can be
your oat milk dealer. Thank you, yours coming from you?
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. It would have Jeska Ricki's sneaker
doodle what I we can both have because I'll update,
(07:06):
I'll update. I don't want those anyway. And then there's
gonna be some sort of I like a shower steamer.
Speaker 4 (07:12):
I think there's also gonna be like a DVD in
there that's like, you don't have to think about what
movie you're gonna watch.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
There's here's a DVD.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
You just pop it on and school.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Yeah, well I have no idea and no way to
play it, but I'll know that that's what they intended.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
I love it all right. Well, I don't want Jessica
cookies because I want her pecan toffee once. Yeah, okay,
so I would argue even better? They were so no
you did you? Did you remember the ones? They were
like kind of friends giving. I don't know if you
had them. Didn't you bring them into the studio because
(07:48):
we made you make them again? Maybe? Anyway, they are
like this cinnamony like caramely biscuit and that like is
pressed like into like a dip, right, and they like
felt like they had the coating, correct me if I'm wrong,
jess the coating of like a cinnamon donut on the
outside of the cookie. Don't remember these? And then they
(08:10):
were like the caramelized peacans sitting in the top. Yes,
oh filthy. I loved it. So I want basically a
whole hamper of those. I wouldn't mind a new wheat pack.
Oh that's a good one, yea. I wouldn't find a
new wheat pack. We're going into winter, and I just
pulled mine out and I was like, well, I've definitely
been using this and it's obvious for the last fifteen years.
(08:32):
And the knitted thing sounds really cute, right, So like
one of my friends CC, her mom has been knitting
her kids jumpers cute, and prior to having kids, I
was like, cool, what a nana like activity. And now
I'm like, that is so wholesome. I wish my mom
doesn't knit like Judy step off, like, why are you knitting?
(08:55):
Don't knit, Judy, That's fine, but it's so cute. But yes,
I lean into the like knitted thing and like maybe
like a knitted pair of like bed socks or something
really wholesome, right, and like one of those fluffy materials. Yeah,
so that's what I want in my homemade hamper. I
actually thought that Beck was going to say, I want
a whole hamper a visa gift cards is what I
(09:18):
thought you And I was like, that would be so smart,
genius for cookies and songs. Anyway, I feel like I
feel like we could go on and on forever about
what we want, but I do love a hamper and
I loved that question even more. That was really sweet.
Now for something that you'll hopefully love even more than that,
(09:40):
Money wins Where Miss Jessic Gricci. She's scoured the comments section,
our DMS and general mail to find out what you
guys have been celebrating this week. Miss Jessic Gricci. What
have you got?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Right?
Speaker 3 (09:51):
A start off this week with one from it?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Hold On, hold on? Don't you have a money win
this week? Oh? I do have a money win? Can
we start at the top the for sure? I'm so sorry.
I was like, hold on, I know that community is important,
but our team group chat has been popping off over this.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Tell me this is your sign to enter those dumb
little online competitions that you don't think anyone wins. Because
I entered one this week and I won.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
What did you win?
Speaker 3 (10:17):
I wanted Doctor Dennis gross alid Mass, which is one
hundred dollars light mask and the crazy.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
The one that I spent an exorbitant amount of money on,
and I great it. I love it, got it for free.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
I'm so excited. It was like a shopping center. It
was high point anyone on the West Side, and it
wasn't even in person. It was one that like popped
up on Facebook. They were obviously doing like data collection,
you know, popping your email answer in twenty five words
or less, like why you come to the shopping center?
And I was like, obviously it's Sizara and the big
Mecca and it's.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Been good at that. You would have scripted something really nice. Yeah,
didn't take very long.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Didn't think twice about it, to be honest. And then
last night literally I got an email and I sent
it in the group slack because I was like, guys,
this is amazing.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
So you like, now you have an LED mask and
I feel like you've been talking about one for ages
but you were like they're so expensive, absolutely not, maybe
they won't work. The universe has provided you arguably the
best one on market. I am so grateful.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
I'm so excited, and yeah, so this is your sign.
Everybody just like, what's the worst that could happen?
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Take plun But I also really like what this means
for this. She's on the Money team aesthetic not because
we're all going to get hotter because we're using a
LED mask, but Brooke and I like to turn up
to our team meetings with our masks on. It's all
going to look like we're out of Star Wars. Yeah,
hell yeah, yeah, I can't wait.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
So it's so stay tuned. Photos coming Soon's I'm sure
all right. This week, I'll start with one from Tiffany
who said, I went to the laundrette on Friday as
it was my thirtieth visit. I got two loads for free.
Oh the money I saved when straightened my savings account,
and I feel like every dollar really counts these days.
So true, absolutely, so true. Then am I said money Win.
(12:01):
Don't forget you can apply for the twenty percent rebate
on your Redgo if you're in Vixoy.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I forgot about that completely.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
I did it yesterday.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Do not do it for everybody.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
It's for literally everybody. If you've paid your redo, even
if you only paid part I believe they'll pro rata it.
They work it all out for you, which is awesome.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Yeah, done again.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
So download the services up so it literally is like
two clicks. It's so easy. And then they email me
back within twenty four hours and said, yep, confirmed you
getting two hundred and twenty dollars back.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Isn't that crazy that it's just not automatic? Like it's
smart from them to not make it automatic because it
means they're going to save money because so many people
are going to either miss this or just like not
do their life admins. So like from a budget perspective,
it doesn't make sense for them to automate it. Yeah,
but like yueens, go and do your life admin and
(12:49):
tell a body money.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
I messaged my friend group chat immediately said, guys, don't
forget today's the day, so.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Tell the people you know.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Anyone who's got a car.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
You're also had a great witch, got two hundred and
twenty bucks back, got it defaced us. I'm in there,
You're sorry.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Next, I've got a money in from Caitlin who said
she went to cancel her paramount. Plus they've given her
two months at ninety nine cents social cuep but for
two more months, watch a few more things, then probably
get rid of it after that.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
That is so funny because I've been doing a little
bit of a sponsorship audit recently, and I threatened my
New York Times subscription because like, if you're in my team,
you know I love a word. I love a saduko.
Oh yeah, I do it every day, like every day
over coffee. My husband and I this is so lame.
(13:36):
We do connections, we do wordle, we do the strands together,
and then I do my Saduco quietly and if our
baby christ that's on him. I'm busy doing my suduco.
But I threatened my subscription by being like cancel and
it gave me fifty percent off and I was like
thank you. So then I went through and I've been
like threatening all of my other subscriptions and like going
(13:57):
through to like the cancel before you hear like confirm,
just to see if they give me a discount offering.
A few of them did amazing. So this week, yes,
we're gonna threaten our subscriptions. Yeah, get on the cancel store.
Push it towards the edge. See what happens. I mean,
you can back off if you want the subscription still,
but you didn't get a discount, you'd be like fine,
I'm gonna keep you by least you tried literally no harm.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
Next, I've got money win from Jamie who said money
and chocolate win. Williz didn't have the side of Cabri
Favorites that she had ordered, so they gave her three
small boxes to make up for the missing big one.
She ended up with more chocolate and it cost her
the same amount. That's a good money, great, great money win.
We love a chocolate money.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
We So you just got two presents for like other people.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
I reckon genuinely. And then last of this week, I've
got one from Jackie who said it's my birthday today,
so I've been getting my freebies all day. Money win Jackie.
And this is my reminder because all three of our
birthdays are coming up. Last year, we all said we're
gonna get all our subscriptions. I was like, I'm going
to film a video. I forgot you need to be
signed up for things two weeks ahead. So this year, okay,
(15:00):
I've waited a whole yeah to film this video of
like all the things that you can get for your birthday.
Love this And he's my remind for both of you
to like sign up for everything because your birthdays so
we're also close together.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
And also if you're in our Facebook group, go to
the search bar and type in birthday freebies because there
is a whole thread that people have been contributing to
of places that you can get free stuff. Yeah, free boost, juice,
free movie, chickets free like everything, but for your birthday,
So go and sign them up. And also if you
want to sign up your friends, you could definitely do
(15:31):
that and then send them a little cute birthday message
and be like, hey, by the way, I signed you
up for your birthday stuff, so you'll have a free
ABC and d imagine that if you didn't have any
cash to give them a gift.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
That's really fae.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
That's a great idea, thinks I came up with it myself.
Miss Beck, have you got some broke tips? I sure do.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
That one comes from Nora, who says, cancel all your
subscriptions and borrow DVDs from the library and call it
movie nights. I think it's a really cut idea of you, like,
grab some really cheapn go to the library. I didn't
even know you could get DVDs from a library, but like,
pretend it's like a Blockbuster. This is more for like,
if you have children, you can trick them into thinking
into Blockbuster. But it also works if you're an adult.
(16:11):
And it isn't that funny that DVDs a hot theme
in this episode, So I think it's a great idea.
This next one comes from Mona, who says vacuum sealing foods,
particularly freezer foods, make them last so much longer. The
next one is for myself, and I tried, well, I
didn't do this intentionally, but I didn't take a cart
or a trolley into the shops, and I just realized
you really end up buying what you need and nothing more.
(16:33):
So I'm my breakdip for this week is to not
take any sort of like anything that will help you
carry things around, because you end up putting so much
more on your basket or your trolley. If you go
in knowing like, oh, I need to get three things
and that's literally physically all you can carry, you end
up really not overspending.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
If you can't carry, you can't buy. You can't carry
people do It's like you've got sixty seconds. You can
as many books as you can pick up in the bookstore.
You can like buy, Yeah, but with groceries exactly exactly.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
You don't polls by, so I think that, Yeah, just
challenge yourself to try not to take anything in with you.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I ask you and Fate that the other day. I
was forced to do that because when you become a mom,
you got to buy annoying things you got to buy
or I do formula and nappies.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
It's cylindrical, it's hard to get it and bulky.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Yeah, the box of nappy I'm not gonna buy, like
the little cute pack of nappies, Like that's a waste
of money. We buy bulk boxes. And I got to
the supermarket and it wasn't my regular supermarket which has
free trolleys. It was the supermarket that needed the coin
for the trolleys. I don't even have a coin. Yeah,
And so I looked like a complete potato and I
(17:39):
basically got rid of everything else that I was planning
on buying. I was like, right, I can only walk
out of here with formula, nappies and a couple of tomatoes.
I'm calling it. Yeah, saved so much, I know, do
I not have things I need? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
But also saved so much absolutely on the money branded
trolley token.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
May I say, do you know what I've been talking
about that and we've been brainstorming it. Imagine a she's
on the money trolley token on your keys. That would
be very sure because it was like a two dollar shape.
Looks cute, But I save you. Also, you wouldn't want
to leave that accidentally in the trolley. No, I reckon
it's worth more than two dollars. Okay, shit true anyway
(18:22):
pay for itself though? Yeah, will you say that? I reckon?
That's a good example of you know, it's not about
the destination, but it's about the broke tips that you
collect along the way. We're just about to take a
quick break, but when we are back, we are diving
headfirst into this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
money dilemma.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here
to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big
and small, to answer your most burning money, career and
life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website
and leave us short voice recording and you might just
find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen
to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
High Season the Money. I have a question about my
super Thanks to your pod, I've been looking into how
well my super fund is performing. While it passes all
of the appro tests, I think I can find a
better performing fund with lower fees and would like to
move my entire balance for better growth. I don't have
any pre existing medical conditions, and so insurance isn't an issue.
I don't want to try and time the market, but
(19:30):
I'm wondering if I should hold off moving my superbalance
until the market recovers from the current volatility, as my
super's taken a bit of a dip this year. I
have about seventy five thousand in my account and I'm
thirty three, so have plenty of time to realize better returns.
Should I transfer my balance now or wait a little
bit longer?
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
What was you guys? Do?
Speaker 4 (19:50):
I guess, like, first of all, make sure there's no
exit fees. I think I would just like check like
for like, like if the next super fund had the
exact same portfolio in terms of what that super would
be invested in, then I guess it would be the
same money right now, like worth the same the shares
or the investment, and so transferring it over now would
(20:13):
kind of be like whatever. It really depends on, like
where the money is going and how it's being invested,
and if it's pretty much exactly the same and they're
both valued at the same amount if that makes sense,
which I know sounds it's hard to explain because it's
like they're not really shares. It's like super if you're
investing in the same thing valued at the same amount. Roughly,
I'm like sure, especially if it's like that is spot on.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yeah, like that's what a financial advisor would say. Yeah,
oh my god. Ah, I was just like watching you
being like, oh my god, I got a finger on
the pulse. So seek that's crazy. Yeah, because you're buying
and selling in the same market and.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Same market, and then if the fees are less in
this new fund, then you're also maybe saving money.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Yeah, how likely is it that true? Different super funds
would have very comp makeups, because it sounds like she's
my understanding what she said is she wants to move
to a more favorable like I'm imagining maybe she wants
to move from like a lower risk to a higher
risk because she feels like she's got time, in which
case would there be a lot of similar like crossover
(21:16):
the crop And it really depends.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
So if you're going from like one industry fund to
another industry fund, it's very likely that they hold very
similar things. You can kind of think of it like ETFs,
where you know, you've got a beta shares and then
you've got a vanguard and they might have top two hundreds,
and they both invest in that slightly differently, you know,
different fees, different triggers. That's all good, but they're kind
(21:39):
of comparable products. Whereas if she's changing because she's like
the I want to take it to a completely different
platform where you know, they only have ethical investments, or
they only have you know, a different range, or I'm
going from as you said before, like a balanced portfolio
to a high growth. That's where you're going to have
to think about this a little bit deeper, just changing
(22:00):
because you're like, oh, I would prefer to go to
Australian super and I'm with you know, host plus or
I'm with rest or whatever. I would say that kind
of like for like, if you're going to a similar portfolio,
they'll be offended that I've said that, by the way,
because you know, they're definitely different. They're all so different.
But in the grand scheme of things, yes, they all
have different investment methodologies, but at the ground, they're often
(22:25):
all investing in blue chip stocks and that's why it's
so important to look at your investments inside your super
to make sure that you're comfortable with it. But usually
know you don't need to wait for the market to
recover to switch super funds. And it's exactly what Beck said,
you're trading in exactly the same market. It's kind of
(22:45):
like when people are like, oh, my goodness, like, is
now a good time to buy or sell? And if
you're selling a house and then buying a house in
the same market, it's kind of left pocket, right pocket,
because if it's a good market and your house is
valued at all, you'll be selling for a lot more,
and then you're going to be buying in a market
where property is value at a hire. But that's okay
(23:06):
because you've got a bit more for your last property
and you put it into the next property. Because we
don't know when the market's get to tank. No one
comes knocking on your door and says, hey, JS, just
so now now's a perfect time to buy. Market's about
to go up. Never happens in a million years. And
if someone can do that, let me know, because I'll
start investing a lot more aggressively. Now. It does change.
(23:26):
If you're going to like a different portfolio construction. But
the one thing that I would be doing superannuation is
for the long term, so like I would be zooming
out and going all right, well, there's never going to
be a perfect time to change. And if the market
is a bit off right now, yes, you're selling your
assets for less, but when you purchase again, you're probably
going to get more shares that are going to increase
(23:48):
in value. Again, you're trading in exactly the same market.
For example, if you're going to sell in super FUNDA,
and let's just make it really simple, in super fund
A you have ten BHP, you do a transfer to
your new asset and they also are going to hold
ten BHP shares. You're probably going to have the cash
to transfer over and hold the same exact assets again,
(24:10):
which is fine. But the big questions here are is
the new fund cheaper, does it have good long term performance,
does it align with your values? Does it offer the
investment options that you actually want? Are there any insurance
policies inside your currency branuation that you would forego or
(24:30):
lose by switching to me. That's a really really big question,
and the insurance one is one that catches a lot
of people out because they don't realize that they have
a default policy for life income or TPD and they
kind of go, oh, it will be in the next one.
Everyone has it. But that's not necessarily the case anymore.
You don't just get given an insurance policy anymore. So
(24:53):
please please please check it. And I mean at the
age of thirty three. I'm not allowed to give financial advice,
not because we're right, just in general, I'm not allowed
to give anything further than general financial advice. But thirty three,
with the balance of you said seventy five thousand dollars,
I'd really be focusing on finding a fund that is
right for you for the next thirty years than trying
(25:15):
to time the market over the next few years. Great point,
like get shit done, Like just get it done, get
it in, make it a priority. Make sure you're making
regular contributions, make sure your employer has been paying your
super make sure that you know everything is set up
the way that you want, because that's what's going to
drive long term performance. Not you know, I switched at
the right time and now I'm a millionaire. That's not
(25:35):
going to happen. Otherwise I'd be waiting for a switch
as well. Yeah, yeah, Will exactly speaks juicy DM. Oh
my goodness, I'm so ready this, I guess DM since
putting together like well, we're going to talk on this
episode has been living rent free in my mind since
I opened it. And look, even the person writing it
said that it would be spicy, So I mean that
(25:57):
piqued my interest to be given. So you're ready ready? Hi,
she's on the money. I have a spicy question, girl,
you got me hook line and sinker. I have a
friend with long term mental health struggles who is also
now physically disabled and on the NDIS. I've financially supported
them in the past several times and they always say
they will pay me back, but they never have. But
(26:18):
last year they chose to go through IVF in order
to have a child, and now I get a request
for financial aid every other month. I don't actually know
them very well. We've hung out a handful of times. However,
I'm also very aware that I'm privileged to be on
top of my own mental health and I'm very financially secure.
How do I gently disentangle myself without feeling guilty for
(26:41):
technically being able to help without going broke. I get
a pit in my stomach every time I see a
message from them, And to be honest, I can't stop
myself from judging them for choosing to have a child
knowing that they couldn't afford to and they weren't mentally
recovered either, what do I do? God, this is so complicated?
Or so she wasn't wrong, that was spicy.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
Yeah, I am a little bit confused by because isn't
I feel really really.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Expensive not to say like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
So I'm like I wonder where that.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I mean, it's like this right, like so many times
we see people making decisions, and maybe she spent all
of the money that she had on IVF. Like people
make and I'm not saying confusing money decisions because I'm
saying they're bad. But people are going to spend their
money in line with their values. And they might not
be paying rent, but they might be paying for something else,
you know what. It's like, It's just it can be
(27:33):
really confusing, and that's where it's so important to not
judge people for the decisions they're making, because you could
have looked at that and been like, well, you're financially secure,
you did if that might mean that who knows, she
went and got a person alone and then spent it
all in IVF and she's even further up the deck crate.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
Yeah, that's so treading to actually, and thank you for
picking up on that. I think that also the confusion
comes from it is a friend, but you don't know
them that well even hung out that much. And it
kind of like there have been time my life where
you know, I've certainly I haven't been very rich at all,
and I have not had that much money, but I've
helped friends, friends that I know, and I feel a
(28:09):
warmth in my belly and I feel love in my
heart for them. And then even if I don't know
them that well, but I still know their energy and
I still know that they're like a trustworthy person. But
I remember I worked at this place and I barely
knew this woman and she asked me for money very soon,
and oh really, She's like, oh can I just borrow
like one hundred bucks until payday? And I was like,
the weird thing And the thing I think might be
(28:30):
symptomatic of a bigger problem is that you have what
it looks like to be like many friends, many family members.
Why are you asking me out of everyone in the world,
And so I'm like, maybe there's something dodgy going on,
but who knows. It's hard to say, Maybe it's even
impossible to say. But the fact that you haven't hung
out that much, I'm like, they could have not that
many people in their life, so maybe they feel like
they're close to you. So maybe ignore that. But that's
(28:51):
something to consider if you think it feels off. But
if you don't think it feels off, then it is
a really tricky one. You don't have to be living
this life where like you feel sickly anxious every time
the message. I know that feeling. It's the worst feeling.
I think, just like generally telling them you can even
like lie a little bit if you want to, just
be like I think, financially right now the best position.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I'm really sorry.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
They might just be able to figure it out on
their own if they don't have you to fall back
on anymore. So I think, try not feel gooidty because
you've helped them so much. But yeah, just the anxiety
you feel when they message, you don't need to be
living like that.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
You've done all you can do.
Speaker 4 (29:26):
You're more than welcome to be like I can't help anymore.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
It's really hard. Like I fear, I don't even want
to touch the having the child while struggling financially because
I think that is such a complex, sure topic and
one we don't have the time to delve into one
that I don't think I have the emotional capacity and
shelve into if I want to today. But what I
want to look at is what can you do to
get yourself out of this situation? Because what's putting you
(29:52):
here is kindness, and I think that that is a
really fantastic thing. I think the instinct to help others
is really important and it's really one fool that you
have that, But it also is really challenging when it
then puts pressure back on you when you're you know,
you're feeling more and more entangled in this person's life.
You're feeling like they're not making good financial decisions, and
(30:12):
you maybe feel like by supporting them financially, you're enabling
those poor choices, which is totally understandable. I would lean
into pointing them towards resources. I'm with you. I think
you know, we say no is a full sentence, But
also I think it's very reasonable to say to them
next time somebody keeps you up with this, Hey, can
I get a hundred bucks to get me through the payday?
Just saying I'm so sorry cost of living at the moment,
(30:35):
I don't have the money to give you. And that
in itself is enough of a conversation, absolutely, and that
kind of gets you out of the position, hopefully and
breaks the circle by saying, hey, like with everything that
I'm doing, I just don't have the capacity to help you.
You can then supplement that, or I would supplement that
with here are some resources that you could look at,
(30:56):
you know, for ndis, do you have a case worker
or somebody you can talk to. Can she maybe reach
out to our friends the National Debt Helpline and they
can help, you know, get her budget together, or look
at other resources maybe to provide her. I think all
you can do is give somebody the tools to succeed.
But it isn't your responsibility. And I know that that's
really hard. When you're somebody who feels the need to
(31:18):
help others and feel the need to fix things, you go, well,
if it's within my means, why wouldn't I, Like, why
shouldn't I? But also, you can't put yourself on the
back foot if the money's not coming back to you.
Do also have a right to look after yourself as well.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
And like as somebody who likes to do those things
as well, like I love looking after other people if
it's within my means, like I'm very likely to be like,
oh here, let me help you. But then there has
been situations where I've felt like I've been taken advantage
of because someone's asked for something repeatedly and they either
don't show the gratitude that I had anticipated, or you know,
(31:58):
they haven't paid it back or something, and you do
leave feeling a little bit like they've taken advantage of
a situation. And I think that's where you also need
to step back and go, well, why did I do
that in the first place, And for me, I didn't
do it, so like I think you need to approach it.
And this is coming from privilege, so I do acknowledge that,
but you need to approach it with I don't lend
(32:18):
people money, like I've just I have a blanket rule.
I don't lend you money. If you came to me
and you said I need money for something great, I'll
give it to you. There's no expectation. I hope that
one day you're able to, you know, pass that on
and do something for somebody else, because I don't want
to change the friendship dynamics or even relationship that I
have with anybody to be like, oh, you own me,
(32:42):
like I don't know, Jess, you know me well enough
to know that. It just gives me the ear clay.
I don't even like other people paying for my coffees
like it just there's something about my money story that
means that I just want to be fiercely independent, and
I desperately want that for other people. But for me,
going back to this question, it's not about the IVF.
It's not about their choice to have a child. Those
(33:04):
are life choices, and those are deeply personal, and those
are theirs, They're not yours. You don't get to have
a conversation about that. From my perspective. But you have
repeatedly given financial assistance to this person and been let down,
like you've repeatedly not been repaid, which is left you
(33:24):
feeling a little bit used. And I think it's very
fair to your point. Just your financial security doesn't create
an obligation to support other people. That's your financial security.
You worked hard for that, and you can care deeply
about someone and still decide that lending the money is
no longer something that you're willing to do, and you
actually don't owe them an explanation. I mean, I would
(33:46):
address every situation with kindness, but a simple response like
I'm just so sorry. I'm not in a position to,
you know, provide financial assistance moving forward. That's it. Yeah,
you don't have to justify your bank balance, you don't
have to justify your goals. Like they can kind of
read between the lines and be like, wow, yeah, I
never paid them back and now I'm taking the mickey.
(34:06):
If they don't have that level of self reflection, it's
on them, not on you, Like I think that you
don't deserve. Do you have to put more emotional energy
into this than you clearly already are, Like, I think
a very simple response to be like, I'm just not
in that position anymore. It's not actually up for negotiation. Yeah,
I'm just letting you know, like, so sorry, Jess, I'm
(34:28):
not in the position to provide any financial assistance. What's
someone going to say to that, do you know what
I mean? Like, are you going to come back and
be like, well, actually you are. You don't know my situation.
And then I think for me, it's like the judging
of other people's choices. It's not a bad thing, but like,
I think that maybe your brain is just really trying
(34:49):
to make sense of the situation because it's left you
feeling taken advantage of. And I want you to reflect
on that a little bit more, because you need to
create a boundary regardless of what you're doing. Yeah, does
that make sense? Like you need to create a boundary
with this person because clearly you're saying you're not close
with them. They're asking you for things that you're not
comfortable with, whether they make these decisions or not. They
(35:09):
needs to be a boundary, Yeah, because you can't consistently
be lending money to somebody who's not valuing that and
not paying it back and not doing what they said
they would do. Yeah, so that would be with the top.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Yeah, sorry, that's happening. But what did everybody else think?
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (35:22):
They popped off in the comments section. So first question
we asked the community, have you ever financially supported a
friend and later regretted it? Thirty eight percent of you
said yes, and sixty two percent of you said no.
That's a lot of people. Yeah, And then we as
do you think it's okay to stop helping someone financially
even if you can afford to help me? Reckon, I
(35:45):
think you have.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
To look after yourself, But I also can like that
be the question of like, do we have a responsibility
to lift everybody up?
Speaker 2 (35:52):
I actually arising tired lifts of ships, poddies, nuance. Ninety
seven percent of you said yeah, it's okay to stop helping,
which validating, but also like I'm sorry at the crux
of that that person has said they would do something
and then they didn't do it. Yeah, you can't just
keep like for me once, for me twice. Yeah, Like
(36:14):
you can't keep throwing money at somebody who says they'll
pay you back. You wouldn't allow that with an investment. Yeah, yes,
Like I'm not going to be like, so, hey, if
I give es money, you've never seen it again. It's crazy,
do you know what I mean? Like in that case,
give me mummy. And then we asked is protecting your
(36:35):
own piece more important than avoiding someone else's disappointment? Ninety
eight percent of you said yes. We then asked, what's
your two cents my Queen's. A lot of people were responding, oh,
my goodness, like IVF can't believe they do that. There
was a lot of conversation around if they can't afford
to have a kid, they shouldn't be doing it. End
of story, Like such a complex it's such a complex situation,
(36:59):
and I think adds to the layers of us trying
to break down and understand this situation. But I think
we need to remove the nuance. I think we need
to remove that like narrative and just go, hey, a
friend is asking for consistent financial support from you. You've
just told me you're not that close. They're not somebody
that you want an ongoing relationship with, and they're not
(37:22):
repaying it when they said that they would. I think
it's a pretty terrible decision to continue that at the crux,
like they can layer on the sub stories, they can
layer on everything else, but at the crux of this decision,
like it's their personal circumstances. And I think if that
then gets brought up and they're like, oh, but I've
been going through this and this, you go, oh my goodness,
(37:42):
I know, and that must be so hard, but I'm
still just not in a position to be able to
support you moving forward, Like it's not your circus, it's
not your monkeys, And like I think there's a lot
less nuance. Yes, there's complications, but it's not like your
sister or you know someone that's really close or your
best mate, where you're just like sow far out. This
is more complicated because I do want to maintain this relationship. Yeah,
(38:04):
like my queen, you're allowed a boundary. Yeah. Other people
said I would never give anyone an amount of money.
I wouldn't be comfortable not getting back, which is kind
of where I like to land these days. I'm like,
if I need to land it out, I've got to
come to the determination that I might not get that back.
If I get it back, fantastic if I don't like
that was a gift. Yeah, And I think that you
(38:25):
do need to deeply think about if you're going to
give to some more money, what were your expectations around that?
Like for me, no, I never want to talk about
it again, Like that's done and dusted, like that happened,
because otherwise it was never for that person. It was
always for me and my own personal gain and some
kind of weird power play. Absolutely not. Someone else said,
(38:46):
if they're relying on you now for money, they absolutely
can't support themselves in the future. Maybe send them a
few resources to support themselves. A lot of people said boundaries.
They keep asking because you keep giving. They know what
your boundaries are. You need to reinforce what you expect
moving forward.
Speaker 3 (39:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
I thought that was really smart because it's true, like
as you said before, back, someone comes to you, like
in a past job and asks for money because they
probably they can sense that. Yeah, yeah, you would be supportive.
Someone else said, sometimes it isn't helping because what you're
doing is enabling.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Yeah, it's a really good way to look at it.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Yeah. Another person said that scenario is wild, and there
are a few other people that said, even if it
doesn't end in financial ruin, you are still entitled to
your own money that you have worked really hard for.
And then there was a lot of people and I'll
leave it on this sharing resources like the Good Shepherd
and money smart websites and stuff like that that they
can get support and just you also touched on you know,
(39:47):
honing in on their NDIS stuff. Do you have enough support.
Is there a caseworker you could talk to, like, where
could you go to from here? And if you're on
the ndis you very likely have a contact that you
could reach out to and be like, what can I
do here? And Mayken point you in the right direction?
For sure, that's probably a really great place to leave
it and wrap it. My friends, thank you for spending
(40:07):
so much of your time with us on this. Hopefully
it's still Friday morning. Maybe you're on your hot walk,
you're doing your grocery shopping with no basket, you're on
your morning commute. We really appreciate you, and we will
be back next week and especially on Monday, with a
brand new shiny money Darry. Until then, my loves, please
take care of yourselves and of each other. And if
(40:28):
you've enjoyed this episode, tell literally everybody you've ever met
over the weekend. It's all I want to hear about
in cafes. Have a good weekend. I love you, goodbye,
my god Bi.
Speaker 6 (40:43):
The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
the Peace ds TMD and obtain appropriate financial.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
Advice tailored towards your needs.
Speaker 6 (41:04):
Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives
of Money sherper P, T y L t D A
b N three two one six four nine two seven
seven zero eight afs L four five one two eight
nine
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Betrayal Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal Team by emailing them at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations, and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience, and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com