September 6, 2026 • 48 mins
At 18, this week’s Money Diarist was approached at work by a man who told her she could make serious money at a club. Plot twist: it was a strip club.
She went from earning almost nothing to making hundreds of dollars an hour, and at one point tracked nearly $200,000 in cash earnings over a relatively short period. The problem? She was spending almost as quickly as she could earn it. Then life changed completely. She left the industry, became a mum in her early twenties and went from being fiercely financially independent to relying almost entirely on her partner. When that relationship eventually ended, she realised she had no savings, barely any super, very little career history and, at one point, just $11 to her name.Now 32, remarried with three children, she’s rebuilt things very differently. She earns $120,000 across two jobs, has helped turn her husband’s sole trader business into a company, started her own business, bought land for their future home and completely overhauled the way they manage money. It’s chaotic, incredibly candid and a pretty fascinating look at what happens when you’ve experienced both extremes of money, from earning thousands in a night to having almost nothing of your own. And perhaps the biggest lesson? Making a lot of money and actually building financial security are two very different things.
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Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is Natasha Bamblett. I'm a proud First Nations
woman and I'm here to acknowledge country. Hello, beautiful friends.
We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank,
acknowledge and respect the Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering
on today.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Take pleasure in.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
All the land and respect all that you see. She's
On The Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community, and connections,
bringing you the tools, knowledge, and resources for you to thrive.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Hello and welcome to She's On The Money, the podcast
that lets you be pervy about other people's money stories
for educational purposes.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Of course.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Welcome back to another one of our Money Diaries brought
to you by our friends from Sky Wealth, where I
get the absolute privilege of sitting down with one of
our incredible She's On The Money community members and talking
all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it because
this week I got a message and it sounded exactly
like this. Hi, She's On The Money. I went from
being raised wealthy, but strict, to being a stripper earning
(01:22):
thousands a night, to a mom who depended on her
partner she met at the club, to leaving him and
living on $ 11.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I wish this was an exaggeration. To meeting my now
husband working boring retail.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
But depending on a man again, to finding she's on
the money, leaving retail, starting with my husband's company, and
then creating my own business, outsourcing my services to other trades,
using Coursera, just like she's on the money mentioned, and
learnt everything on my mat leave. I overhauled our finances
since January and our super and we just settled on land.
(01:54):
I would love to share my story. Money, Doris, this
is a wild ride.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I'm excited. Yeah, it's a bit of a roller coaster
when you hear it like that.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
But like a super fun one, like I already know
just from that, I'm like, I want to be your friend.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
What do you mean?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
You were really rich, like raised rich. now a stripper,
like now you're a mom, then you weren't a mom.
And then off air, you were like, oh, I have
two kids who are like approaching their teenage years. And
also I just had another baby. Like you are just
so fun and I know it.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Some would say chaotic, but I like fun. Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Before we jump in, Money Dress, I need to know
if I asked you to give your money habits a
grade from A through to F, what would you grade them? F.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Think like a B minus or maybe a C. A
B minus, but then like an A plus for fun.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
A plus for fun and chaos, B minus for money. Love, love.
All right. Can we learn a bit more about your
money story, please? So I started off by being adopted
and I got adopted by my now parents when I
was three months old. I am not from this country.
And so my parents are from here and I didn't
have a concept of that they were wealthy. I just
(03:00):
grew up in a three and a half story home with,
you know, hot rods and beautiful things. And I just
kind of thought, I thought everyone had that. But also like,
why wouldn't you? You were adopted when you were three
months old. You literally know no different. Yeah, it didn't
click to me that that was like wealth or that
they were rich. And I just kind of thought that
everyone lived like this and I think if you were
to ask my parents they would tell you they weren't
(03:21):
rich but they actively were sorry you've got a three-story
house immediate rich in my head did you grow up
with a double door fridge by chance no because my
parents are the type of rich where their wealth was
kind of all very pared back except for the cars
and it was never flaunted like the house was huge
and the holidays were huge and the cars were very
impressive and but there was never like our TV still
(03:43):
has a back to it. Like there was no, there
was no plasmas. And again, hence why I didn't think
anything of it. I was just like, cool, this is
just normal. This is how all people get adopted into families, right?
I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Like I've never experienced adoption, but if I was, and
if I was going to volunteer for it, like it
would have to be into a rich family. Yeah, and
I think I felt pretty lucky. Like I got to
go on holidays. I got to do Disneyland. I got
to do all of those things and got to go
to a nice school. I did all of the dance programs.
Like I never had to miss out on anything in life,
I don't feel. But money was also never talked about.
(04:17):
So my dad was really strict on never speaking about
how much you earn. You're not meant to talk about
how much money you have. And because of that, I
didn't really learn anything. I was just told, get money,
save it. That was all. And like my work ethic
was also hugely important to my parents. I think I
had a job at like for dad when I was
like 12, he would pay me to go do cast
(04:38):
stuff with him and I'd get $ 5 a day. And
so I always knew I had to work. And then
I started at McDonald's and had to give some of
my paycheck to my parents and And always got charged
like rent, like higher than everyone else. Like if I
wanted a box of barbecue shapes, I had to pay
them $ 2.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
50.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
So I actually got charged more. What? Yeah, just because
I think they wanted me to understand that I don't
need these barbecue shapes. So if I want them, there's
a surcharge. Oh, they're like basically the uber bit parents. Yeah.
This is convenience.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
You could go get it yourself, but you're not going to.
So we are going to do a delivery fee.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
100%.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
So I was always just like, oh, they're so strict.
Like if I wanted $ 10 to go to the movies
when it used to cost that much, I had to
do a lot of things for it where I had
friends who would just be like, hey, I want to
go to the movies. And I would watch their parents
just give them cash. And that would never happen in
my household. I always had to earn everything I got.
So again, I think they were trying to teach me
the value of money, but it almost did the opposite
(05:35):
where I just went, no, I need to have my
own money so that they can't have any control over
what I can and can't do kind of thing. It's
interesting how money conversations in households can create I don't
want to use the word resentment because the way you're
talking about your parents, I don't think that's the case
at all. But it kind of, as a teenager who
doesn't necessarily understand everything, they didn't go, hey, cool. So
(05:59):
this is what we're going to be doing with money
with you. Other kids are going to have it really differently.
But the reason we're doing this money diarist is because,
you know, we really want to teach you the value
of the dollar. And you go, oh, okay, well, I
still don't like it, but at least I understand where
this is coming from. Whereas you might've just at that
point in time been like, wow, they're really restrictive and
(06:19):
they don't want me to live a good life. Yeah.
I honestly sometimes thought it was a bit of a
punishment and like, oh, I don't get to have these
things or I'm not deserving of these like access to money.
And so it did make me really like desperate to
make my own money and And I think they just
saw that as like, great, she has a great work ethic.
Like I always did over time. I would always do
the double shifts at McDonald's. Like any way I could
(06:41):
make more money, I wanted to do so. And I
think they were like, great, she'll save all this money.
They actually always had that policy that whatever you save
for your car, we'll put in. and we'll match it.
And then I never saved anything. Right.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
And so this was during school, you worked at Macca's,
then what happens? You're 18 and you finish school or like,
what's the story there?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
I actually got expelled because I was very rebellious and
my parents really struggled with that because they were very
like proper, strict, highly religious. I am on the other hand,
the opposite and And so I really fought against everything
that they wanted for me. I was like, no, absolutely not.
And I ended up actually doing one of those jobs
where you have to stand in the middle of a
(07:24):
shopping center and ask people if they want to sign
up to a charity. And they only pay you if
you get signups, but they sell you the dream of like,
you can make $ 20, 000 a month and you'll get all
of this money. But then you still have to drive
everywhere and go into the office every day. You get
to do like the dances in the morning. And it
(07:45):
was such a like, I was like, I'm going to
work in the corporate world. It felt like multi-level marketing.
It is literally like a more corporate version of that.
Like sell a dream, tell you that your commissions are
really uncapped, but then also I'm going to make it
really hard for you to make money because the product
you're selling is not something people want to buy. So
good luck.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
And like, obviously you get rejected by so many people. Like,
and now I know that those people are just working
for money, not because I care about the charities. Yeah.
And so now when I'm in the middle of the shops,
I'm like, no, thank you. I know how much you're
getting paid if I say yes. I'd rather just give
it to the charity directly. Yes, that's crazy work. And
then that lost me money. I actually lost money doing
that job because I was having to drive into the
(08:26):
city every day. And if you didn't sell anything that day,
there was no base wage. It was just commissions. Wow.
I didn't know that that's how it works. Yeah, I
think it was like $ 80 per sign up. So if
you do like six or seven of those in one day, hey, amazing.
But the average was like maybe one. And in my head,
I wasn't computing that $ 80 for one day of work
(08:46):
was horrible. And so instead, I was like, oh, okay,
I just have to find a new job eventually. And
this man approached me and was like, hey, you know,
have you ever thought about working in a club? And
I remember being like, oh, yeah, for sure. What kind
of club? I love going clubbing. Like I was 18.
I was a baby. I probably was three weeks into
being 18. Oh, my God. Wait. So a man, I
(09:08):
have to backtrack, a man approached you on the street
while you were working or like when, where, how? Yes. Well,
I was doing one of those stands and he was like, oh,
has anyone ever told you you're like beautiful? And I
was very much raised by traditional parents who my mom
had always like that was her main compliment was like,
you're really beautiful. Don't worry. Like someone will marry you.
You're really beautiful. And that was always really emphasized in
(09:30):
my whole life. So looks became such an important thing
to me that they then eventually became my entire career.
And so when he did, I was kind of just like, yeah,
of course, what do you mean? Like I'm 18. I'm like, yeah,
thank you. And he was like, you could make this
much money. And again, I was working a job that
I was losing money in. Yeah, it sounds like a
great opportunity. And as you said, I love clubs. Yeah,
(09:52):
I was like, how bad could this be? And then
I get there and it's a strip club. Like it's
a full blown old school movie. like strip club. And
I'm like, okay, cool. I can dance. My parents paid
me to all of these amazing dance classes. I can
still do the splits and I'm a pretty confident bubbly person.
(10:14):
And so I was like, Hell yeah. Why not? On paper,
you are going to thrive there. Absolutely. And they get
you to choose your name and all of those ridiculous things.
And you kind of go, okay. Oh, how do you
choose your name? That's fun. Is it like first street
and first pet name? Because that's how I've always picked
my names based on social media posts. It's not nearly
as cool as that. They literally said, what name do
(10:35):
you pick? And I went, oh. um okay and I
chose because I could see behind the bar a bottle
of alcohol and I just chose the name of that
bottle of alcohol and that's what worked for me and
so I was like great let's go with that it
kind of suits the way I look and we'll just
hope for the best and you know how bad can
this be and then I went there and then that
(10:57):
first night I made like a lot of money like
I made a I think my first customer gave me
$ 500 just for being like a baby stripper is what
they would call it, which now that I'm an adult goes, ew. Yeah, totally.
But at the time you had no idea. And yeah,
so I remember being like, oh my God, I didn't
make this much in this whole time I was at
(11:18):
this other job. And I've just made that in half
an hour with a three minute lap dance. And you're like,
I'm fine to do this.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
And I mean, everybody is going to have different like
tolerance levels and be like, oh, I never, or I
would or whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
But like, who kind of cares what your personal preferences are?
I'm finding this so interesting. So you went in and
I feel like if somebody blindsided me and said, oh,
you're coming to work at a club, then it was
a strip club. I'd kind of be taken aback and
be like, oh, I don't know. But were you like, yeah, whatever.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
I'll take my clothes off. Like I've got no qualms
about this. Or were you a bit like, oh, I've
got reservations, but I should try it. Like, how did
that work?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
I think my personality at that point in my life
was just like, excuse my French, but like, that was
just how I thought about doing things. And I think
I was very confident in who I was. And, you know,
everyone likes to think when you're 18, you know, everything.
And I'm like, how bad could this industry be? Like
I've watched, I mean, I watched Coyote Ugly and I
was like, I want to do that. And that's essentially
(12:19):
what I thought I was doing was just Coyote Ugly,
but like less clothes and, And I was like, I
can do this. It's a different kind of performing, I guess.
And I just really fell in love with the money,
but I actually fell in love with the job for
a portion of time. But I love that.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
I think we should all enjoy what we do. And
I'm actually glad that you did. Were you still living
at home at this point?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I did live at home for maybe two weeks of it.
And then because I'd made so much money, I moved
immediately into a share house and And was just like,
I don't need them for anything. Look at me now.
I have that freedom I wanted. I can do whatever.
And I really became like, I don't know, the wolf
of Wall Street. I was just like, I'll buy this
and I can do this. And I was just going
(13:05):
to buy everything I've ever wanted. And all of a
sudden I could live by myself. I didn't need anybody.
And I moved into a share house with the best,
funnest people ever who were the opposite of my lifestyle.
They all worked in IT. And I obviously was a stripper.
So I got to live. It was very big bang
theory of me. I was the penny and they were
(13:25):
all so beautiful and loving, but I was paying $ 600
a month for bills, rent and everything. And I was
making $ 600 in an hour. Yeah, that's so crazy. So crazy.
Did your parents know? No, they definitely were told that
I worked at a bar and I just never discussed it. Again,
them being so strict and conservative, I think that we
(13:46):
really just had a don't ask, don't tell policy. But
in saying that, probably three years in, my mum did
make some outfits for me and I think she just
must have thought that that's what I was wearing at
the bar. They also knew how much money I was
bringing in because I had like Louis Vuitton suitcases. And
all of a sudden I was, you know, living this
quite over the top life. And they didn't question it.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Like I'm telling you right now, if my daughter comes
home with a Louis Vuitton suitcase that I didn't purchase
for her, I'm going to be like, girlfriend, what were
you doing?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
I think they really were like... uh, what's that saying?
Like just it's best not to know. Turning a blind eye. Yeah.
They were turning a blind eye and just hoping for
the best. I think they'd had such a rollercoaster of
teenage me and they're really those kind of parents that
just love you no matter what. Oh, that's sweet though.
But like, do you think they kind of knew, but
they were like, whatever, like she seems fine. We're not
(14:36):
going to ask about it. I think they kind of
knew and it would be easier to go to church
every week if they just didn't know. I think that's
how it went down. And for them, they were just like, okay,
no worries. And it was all great until obviously it
wasn't great. It wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Totally understood. So you live in that life. You said
it was great until it wasn't. What does that look like?
Because did you meet.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Like, I guess there's a very stereotypical experience when someone
becomes a stripper, right? And we've seen it online. It's
a slippery slope. And often it filters into, you know,
a few more untowards things, which, you know, if it's consensual, like,
and it's happening between consenting adults, like it's none of
my business. But like, is that your experience? Because I
(15:25):
feel like you said, I met my husband at work.
I think I actually had like a really great experience
considering until the end. But like, I do believe that
I watched all those movies thinking, okay, every girl's going
to be on drugs or they're going to, you know,
where that wasn't the truth. I actually met a lot
of women who were studying to be nurses. There was
one who was going to work in the Navy, but
(15:45):
she just needed to be able to pay off her
house first. The most successful girl I ever worked with,
who is now like a really big lawyer, was just
paying for law school and didn't drink at all, you know,
drove to work every night and drove home. And I
think I lived kind of like both of those lives.
At that time, I didn't use any drugs, but I
did drink a lot. And I think that that was
(16:07):
probably what I used as a coping mechanism to deal
with the negative side of that industry. But God, does
the positive side feed your ego? Like, I think... Like
all things, people have their preferences and it's a sexual job,
so people have their sexual preferences. And if guys wanted
a certain look that wasn't me, I wasn't going to
be for them. And sometimes they would be really clear
(16:28):
and let you know that. And that takes a toll.
But then you would have another client who would come in,
who would see you every single week, who would pay
your rent, pay my bills, have my phone direct debited
to him, even though he didn't even know my real
name because they care about you or they really like
your personality or your looks just alone. And so... that
(16:49):
side kind of feeds that ego of like, I'm incredible
and I'm making so much money. But, you know, there
is obviously that dark side of it can take a
really big toll. It's really exhausting. It's not nearly as
easy money as I thought it was. It does. require
a lot of like one physicality and two like you
have to have thick skin because people will come and
put a dollar on your stage and you just have
(17:10):
to keep going like that hasn't crushed your soul or
you know people will tell you to lose weight and
as an 18 year old you're so impressionable and I
think now like the world is so different I don't
think when I could be wrong but I don't think
you make as much money in clubs anymore because only
fans exist But I think that's also so dangerous in
so many ways but so great in other ways because
I think if you want to do that, amazing power
(17:31):
to you. Like I believe in doing whatever you want
with your body. At the end of the day, I
wasn't ashamed of what I did for a job but
I wish that someone had told me like, hey, this
is what you'll be known for. People are going to come.
People are going to know. And now it's even worse
because they don't have to see me in person. They could,
you know, just view you online. Yeah, I feel like
that's such a good point. And I have a really
(17:53):
good girlfriend who works was a stripper and an escort
and did that all through uni. I knew that's what
she was up to. And she now is so wealthy.
It's not funny, but she's also a lawyer. And one
of the things she says is I would never recommend
in 25, 26, somebody to do that anymore because she's like,
(18:13):
you cannot find any evidence of what I did. She's like,
I am not, not proud of it. I talk about it.
It's not a secret.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Like everyone around me knew, but like future employers, they
can't find it. Like there's no photos of her. There's
no like ongoing trail. She's like, if they find out great,
but there's no like photos to circulate in a group text.
And so I think that that's a really important consideration
these days because so many people They go, oh, I'll
just do OnlyFans. Like people have been, you know, making
(18:41):
money off sex work for so long. And I get it.
If that's aligned to your values, like more power to you.
I've done so many episodes with people who have made
millions from OnlyFans and pop off queens. But also if
that's not what.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Your long-term goal is, you do have to sit down
and think about like, well, how would this potentially impact
the life I do want to lead? And what would
that look like?
Speaker 3 (19:06):
And if you're happy taking that risk and you feel
happy taking on that load, like great. But for some people,
it's not going to work out in that way.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
And I still look at it like I'm the same
where I was from that era. I'm a little bit
old now, but I was from that era where there
is no evidence of what I did. Everything's deleted off
the internet. I still have the photos of what I
look like just to remember that that's what I once
looked like. But apart from that, the only thing that
exists from that is my ex and the children that
I have. And pop off. You'd love that. Yeah. Like
(19:36):
for me, that was the good thing that came out
of all of it as toxic as that industry is.
And there's how, you know, much it can change your life.
I did also get to meet someone in the club,
which was like, I just gave this person a lap
dance and they were really young and I was also
really young and they kept coming back and I ended
up making a lot of money. I accidentally took a
(19:58):
lot of their savings and before we dated, which my
ex-mother-in-law did not love. But yeah, so then we met
and it all happened quite quickly. And he actually let
me work in the industry for like at least a
year and a half post us meeting. He used to
drive me to any of my private functions. I was
really quite accepting of everything. When I left the industry,
(20:20):
then it was a conversation of us having children eventually.
And then I got told I have endometriosis. So they
were like, if you want to have children, we don't
even know if it's possible, but you should probably try sooner.
And he was like, okay, we're 21. sure how hard
can it be oh my goodness you were a baby
and i should have done the math so you said
before i'm getting old baby you're 32 like and you
(20:43):
don't look 32 and i'm sitting here and i'm 35
and i'm like what do you mean you're getting old
sit down I think for the adult industry, 32 is old. Oh,
she's getting on. People are like, oh, would you ever
go back to doing that? I'm like, no, no. Even
if I look 10 out of 10 in my head,
I don't need, no one needs to see that. It's
(21:04):
too old now. No, no. And I feel like there's like,
you know, you don't want to regress to like a
previous life that you had that clearly was not aligned
to the values that you currently have. So- you're 21,
you decide to have your first kid. How does that go?
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Like, what does life look like going from, and can
we just ask how much on average do you think
you were making when you were working as a stripper?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Minimum per week would have been three and a half thousand.
I think I tracked for a good six month portion
from 19 to almost 20. And I had made around
$ 195, 000 worth of cash. of cash. And I had spent
almost that same amount.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Cause like, let's be honest and this is going to
stay anonymous, but like, I'm assuming the ATO didn't know
about a lot of that cash. Yeah. A huge amount.
I did actually claim some because I wanted to claim
my makeup and my big giant stilettos and some of
those things. So I claimed to portion, but yeah, obviously
when you're dealing in that industry, this was before you could,
you know, add a tap and pay to your phone.
(22:09):
So it was an old school ATM that they'd have
to go to, to get more cash out for you.
And there was no transferring to my personal names or anything.
It was, if you want it, you got to pay
me cash. And yeah, I made a lot of it.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
And like, that's just good context, but how do you
go from earning that amount to going, okay, I'm 21.
And like my partner and I have decided to have
a child. because you, I don't know, can you work
as a pregnant stripper? You probably can.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
There would probably be a niche for it now in OnlyFans,
but unfortunately that wasn't my niche. No. I think one,
the industry had played me out so poorly that I
was just done with it. So there was like in
my brain, I'd switch that off. So I just wasn't
able to do that anymore. And I was no longer
wanting to make that money anyway. So it was quite
(22:57):
easy for me to turn it off from that aspect.
But going from being the breadwinner, I made the most
amount of money I paid for all my life to
then having to go to a man and outsource my
financial health to him was tricky. But back then we
were quite fortunate. He actually got paid like a, I
think it was like two grand with overtime every single week.
And I think we paid maybe $ 400 of rent. So
(23:22):
we weren't struggling. I never felt like we were struggling.
We actually have conversations now about like, oh my gosh,
I feel like his wages went so much further than
he feels like they do now. But we were lucky
that he was fully qualified and that we had this life.
And I also never felt like we were going to
be left abandoned. We both had families that were willing
to help us and bought most of our stuff. So
(23:44):
we really didn't have to buy much, even house furniture.
When we moved into our own place, it was just like,
I think his mom bought our whole entire house furnished
from Focus On. So we were like, okay, great.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
And you touched on something before that I thought was
really interesting. You said a lot of his savings went
to me before we were in a relationship, which his
mother didn't like. So did his mother know that he'd
like taken a stripper home.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
From the club? Yeah, he'd literally done the cliche song.
He'd fallen in love with a stripper. I believe T-Pain
said that. Yeah, quote T-Pain. I was his first ever girlfriend,
the poor man. So he really threw himself into the
deep end. Well, I think I may have pushed him
into the deep end and just held him there. But yeah,
she wasn't too happy. They were actually pretty accepting of
(24:33):
what I did for a job. I think it was
the fact that I'd left their son without as much
money that they didn't love. And that I was very
like credit card positive. I was like, heck yeah, let's
get personal loans. Let's get credit cards. And I didn't
have a job that we could do that in. So
he had the job that had the, you know, pay slips.
So I had no qualms, you know, kind of being like,
(24:55):
let's do this. I can be a very persuasive person.
I mean, look what I did for a job. I'm
very good. I was about to say it's in your nature.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
I think like a scary thing is how good I
am at manipulating men and still to this day have
to actively make sure I don't do that. I think
that's always been a talent of mine and I built
an entire career out of it and, you know, have
met my ex that way. And so I really did
have a knack for just being like, cool. you know,
let's just get a credit card. I remember being like, oh,
I really want this thing, but I just don't want
(25:22):
to have, you know, I don't have the cash right
now because I would spend my cash as quickly as
it came in. And it would be a Monday where
I didn't work. And so we would just figure it out.
Do you know what I mean? Like latitude and us
were besties. We were tight. Right.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
So you get pregnant and you're relying heavily on credit
cards and personal loans and, you know, cash is coming
in the door. But tell me, How does your life change?
Speaker 2 (25:46):
I think it changed very little because we didn't do
anything either. We went from having like I worked predominantly
weekends and nighttimes and he was a homebody. So we
just went into our home and had our baby and
we were young and I was very lucky that I
have still my best friend today who also had a child.
And kind of gave me the confidence to be like, ah,
you've got this. How about we can all, we'll burn together.
(26:08):
It'll be fine. And so she would come over and
my other best friend would help me out every other day.
But he would work long hours and I would be
at home with the kids and I fell in love
with it. I have a very addictive personality. So I
actively threw it all, like everything I had into being
a mom to the point where I did my early
education just so that I could understand his developmental and
(26:28):
all of that. Stop. I can never do anything by halves,
hence what's brought me to Shoes on the Money because
I can't listen to a podcast by halves. And so
I think it's definitely that thing where it seemed actually
really easy. Having our first two children was a breeze.
I think staying together was less easy because we were babies. Yeah.
But having the kids portion was actually kind of the
fun part. Like I found it really easy. I love
(26:51):
that that's the experience you got of motherhood. Cause sometimes
when you have kids really young, you're not like emotionally
equipped to deal with that. Even though you think you
might be like, Oh, I feel like I'm missing out.
You're like, no, that was the fun bit. I love this.
So what happened next? Like, your relationship doesn't work out? Well,
COVID happened and we were meant to get married and
(27:13):
we had actually got a loan out for our wedding.
And I remember being like, okay, well, we know that
COVID's happening. We should postpone it. And I think that
neither of us were sad that we had to postpone it.
And like the best thing about us was that we
had become best friends, that we were really, you know,
like content, I think, but we maybe weren't happy. And
(27:33):
there were a lot of little fights and a lot
of little changes in our life that happened. And yeah,
we had to cancel our wedding. And then I think
we realized we should probably cancel our our relationship and
again I was quite like I was so young I
can own that I was pretty toxic in that environment
as well because I just was like we have kids
and we were both such great parents he's such a
great father we just weren't each other's people by that
(27:55):
point anymore I was no longer the same person that
he met and he was still to me the similar
person to what I'd met and I think motherhood obviously
changes you in such a deep way and I feel
like I had changed in a something different. And I
think he absolutely needed something different. That's honestly so refreshing.
(28:17):
I feel like there's always like, oh, he cheated, she cheated.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
You know, we fell out of love. We're arguing all
the time. Like, it seems like you still have a
very positive view and relationship of the person you now
co-parent with. Is that an accurate representation of what I'm
picking up?
Speaker 2 (28:33):
A hundred percent. Like we obviously have our times where
it's usually me who has an attitude and like we
have our little fights, but for the majority, like... Old
habits die hard.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I still have to pull myself up or my now
husband has to pull me up and be like, hey,
let's be a little bit nicer in the most loving way.
And I'm like, oh, fine.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Right.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
I'm like, am I the problem? That's often what I'm
asking myself. Well, I mean, that's really good self-reflection that
you're able to be like, I seem to be the
common denominator here. And my parents also really love to
point that out as well. They're like, hey, just maybe
that's a you thing. That could be you. And I'm like,
how dare you not just take my side and blindly
like say. You are my parents. But yeah, no, I
(29:16):
think like we are really lucky. I think we co-parent
really well. Our kids and I still do Christmas all together.
We do all matching pajamas. We're both now remarried and
both have new children. And I think we put in
a really big effort to get along. and try and
make sure that for our kids, you know, who are
still figuring it all out and still trying to understand
why mum and dad aren't together, I think we do
(29:37):
a pretty good job of staying, you know, friendly. And also, like,
I think it's really important to state that, like, I've
never seen him so in love and him so happy.
I love that. And, like, I think I'm the same.
I think we both... I think he got the wife
that he really needed and he gets treated the way
he deserves to be treated. And I think I also
get treated the way I deserve to be treated. And
(29:59):
I just think we weren't each other's people. And now
our kids are so lucky because they get to see
both their parents in actual love, not just in a
relationship for the sake of being with the children. I
am obsessed with that. And who would have thought the
stripper story was going to become so wholesome? Yeah, you
wouldn't believe the amount of people. I forget that that's
where you both started. And I was like, yeah, I
(30:19):
was in a strip club.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
So at what point did your parents find out or
did they not find out? You're talking so openly about
this at the moment that I feel like it had
to have come up in every other aspect of your
life at some point. When I left the industry, unfortunately,
something bad did happen to me that made me leave
the industry. And because of the police's involvement with that,
my parents did find out that way.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Which was obviously horrible. But at the same time, they
couldn't be mad at me because, you know, I was
dealing with so much already. But it kind of took
that like, hey, sorry, no, totally, for sure, for sure.
But we have to just scan over that and help me.
And so, yeah, because of that, it kind of took
away that conversation. And I mean, it's 11 years post
me leaving and we've never had that conversation. Oh, you
(31:02):
still haven't spoken about it. Like it came up in
a super traumatic and triggering way. You couldn't talk at,
you were like, Hey, but we have to actually focus
on this other thing that's going on. So don't ask
me about that. Cause like right now I'm a little
bit too obviously fragile. And then they just never brought
it up again. Well, yeah, then I gave them grandchildren
and they were just like obsessed and they just now
(31:25):
are so thankful that I gave them these grandchildren that
I think that it's best if we just never. And
that is how we deal with conflict in that family
is 100%. I'm a talker. I love talking stuff out.
They are not that way. So I'm like, hey, that's cool.
We just never have to do that. And they don't
drink or anything. So it doesn't really come up in
like drunken conversations or anything. It's just like, We never
(31:46):
need to talk about it. That's so interesting. But also
just like so much part of that journey. Do you
think your kids will ever know what type of work
you were involved in at some point? I have no issue,
especially I have one daughter. I have no issue talking
about it because I think it's really important to talk
about easy money. And I say that with air quotes
because I don't think easy money exists. That job took
(32:08):
a huge toll on my life for the rest of
my life. And it also gave me a huge amount
of money at that point in my life. But when
I look back and think, was it worth it? I
would probably say no. So I think it's important to
have those conversations with my children to say, there are
so many jobs that are going to come and are
going to be like, you could make X, Y, and
Z so quickly. But really think about, as you would say,
(32:31):
it doesn't align with your values or is it going
to be worth it in the end?
Speaker 4 (32:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
And I think that that's a really important conversation to have,
obviously at an age appropriate level. Like, I don't know
if your kid's eight, I'm probably not going, mommy was
a stripper. Like that's, that's not it. But like, I
think once they get to an age where it's like.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Oh, well, actually, did you know your mom was up
to this? Like, I think it can actually be really
constructive for your relationship as well. And like, could even
build it in a really positive way. Cause you're kind
of like, well, actually mom did this. So like, this
ain't my first rodeo. Like, Oh, you think you're good?
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Well, I think I'm so open to, and I have
no shame in what I did. So I'm like, I
also want to teach them that, Hey, you can do whatever.
And if you want to work in this industry, or
if you want to work for this, I'm going to
be supportive no matter what we choose to do, because
there is no shame here. Yeah. No love. And yeah,
Now fast forward, you're married to the love of your
(33:27):
life and you have another baby 10 plus years later. Yeah.
So I went through that period of being a single
parent as well that I had, you know, next to
no money and had to learn how to struggle and
had to do all of that. And I really said, okay,
I never want to put all my money based off
a man's income again. When I separated from my ex,
(33:48):
I didn't get anything. I realized I hadn't had super
for 10 years. I hadn't had any of my own savings.
I have nothing to show for even on a resume,
let alone a bank account or credit history because everything
was in his name. And so I was like, okay,
but I also... I'm living off $ 11. So what am
(34:08):
I going to do? And I actively only went out
and dated wealthy men. Again, this was that mentality of like, hey, well,
what am I good at doing? And I'll go and
I'll find someone that's maybe okay with not being in love. And,
you know, I'll just, we'll figure out a way that
I can survive because I feel like I'm very good
at just surviving and And then I realized that I
(34:28):
absolutely can't do this. And I was so bored sitting
in Nobu, not wanting to eat my raw fish. And
I was just like, actually, I can't. I don't want
this life for me or for my children. And I
just won't date. And then I met my partner and
he was actively just meant to be for fun. He
was not the most financially smart person. In fact, he
(34:50):
He was, you know, quite wild for a 30 year
old man. Like he had his own business, but I
don't think he was, you know, thinking about saving. He'd
already traveled a lot of the world. So for him,
that was kind of his priority. And I remember thinking,
this is not a stable like person that you could
as a person with three or two children could be with.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
And you were kind of like of the mentality and
like rightly or wrongly, you were like, I'm only going
to date wealthy men. And I'm only going to be
doing X, Y, and Z. And then how did you meet?
Speaker 2 (35:20):
Like, how do you meet someone that's out of that
wheelhouse and then end up dating them? Because obviously you
clearly had a strategy in your head. You're like, girl,
I'm going to marry rich.
Speaker 4 (35:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
I think I was like, okay, well, I can't work
because I have two kids at home. So I need
to marry like money. I, can't afford a mortgage so
I'm gonna have to marry someone I said I would
only date someone with a home they had to have
owned a home and bless my partner he had like
a man cave that he rented um and we met
on tinder so good old-fashioned tinder I met my husband
on tinder yeah I feel like it's like common these
(35:51):
days and again it was just meant to be fun
I was never meant to see him again and we
actually ended up really getting along and then the new
wave of COVID because it's obviously year post separating uh
the new wave of COVID came and we got put
in lockdowns and my ex and I shared custody and
I would have one of the weekends he would have
you know the other and so I was like well
there's nothing better to do you make them come and
(36:13):
hang out and then we just ended up getting along
like a house on fire and I had to kind
of pretend that I was like it's fine everything's fine
that you've fallen in love with this person it's so
fine I'll figure it out. How bad can it be?
But I then learned that he had like an amazing
work ethic. He'd built a really cool company and that
he had drive. And I think with a little education
(36:33):
or maybe some manipulation, I could help him get there.
You're killing me. You're killing me. But also this is great.
And become like financially stable. And I also learned that
he is a lot more financially stable than I thought
he was. It was just that because we weren't intending
to date there didn't need to be those kind of
deep conversations about like, hey, what's your goals in life?
It was kind of just like, hi, come over at 3am.
(36:56):
And so it didn't really matter how much he earned.
And yeah, so he was just a sole trader. And
then him and I started dating. And I was like,
are you sure? Because like, I come with two tiny humans.
And at this point of my life, I had full custody.
So I was like, like he sees them every other
time or when he can, but like it's me and them.
So what are you going to do? We're a package deal.
(37:18):
What's up? And he looked at our chaos and said, yeah, okay, let's,
let's do it. Oh, I love him. But we did
enter into that relationship saying we will, I'm never having
another child again. I've done this. And he was so
supportive of that. Unfortunately, he decided to be a phenomenal
step parent. And I had to be like, I love this.
(37:38):
We were talking about this off air. I was like,
you said you would never have children again. So was
it an accident? You were like, no, no, this was
not an accident. I just saw how great he was
at being a dad and wanted to do it again.
We very much intended to do that. And now we
have a one-year-old son. So we're very, very happy. I'm
obsessed and that's just so lovely like I was saying
(38:02):
to you that one thing when I met my husband
I was like oh damn like this is something that
historically in all of my relationships I was like oh
I don't know if I want children and then I
met my husband and I.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Was like I really want your babies like I cannot
wait to see you be a dad and like that's
such a nice thing right Does that mean you're only
going to have one?
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Or is there like another one in the future? Yes,
we're done. He's been to the doctors. Never again. Okay.
But like you said that the first time. Well, thankfully
this time vasectomies exist and... They can be reversed. Like
science is amazing. Not a money win though. Not a
money win to reverse them. They do cost a lot
(38:45):
of money. And no, I just don't think I could
do that again. I'm so tired. Do you know what?
I love that. So... Now you have a one-year-old, you
are married to the love of your life. What do
you do for work? How much money do you earn?
I make $ 120, 000 a year. Pop off queen. I work
two jobs. So my first job is that I work
for my husband's company, which is now a company. We're
(39:06):
no longer sole traders. And I am the operations manager
and all of the back end. And then my other
job is like a company, well, that I've kind of
started and I am a virtual assistant in creating AI
startup processes for other trade companies to help them get
that ball rolling. That's incredible. So she's smart and pretty. Well,
(39:29):
she wasn't smart. up until she went on mat leave
and then decided I should start listening to a podcast.
And that podcast suggested I should take some free courses online.
And I was like, hey, I could do that. And
then I learned about AI. Oh, my God. How good.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
I need to get on that Coursera stuff because there's
just so much stuff online that you can learn for free.
Tell me, how did you pick what you were going
to learn? Because for those of you playing along at
home who maybe are like, what is Coursera? It is
a website that you can go to and lots of
universities and educational institutions around the world upload courses that
(40:04):
you can do for free. And yes, you can pay
at the end to get the proper certificate, but like
you can upskill yourself without having to pay for the
certificate at the end that the course is free.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
So how did you pick, well, what am I going
to learn? Literally TikTok. I was on TikTok and people
would talk about things like Claude and I was like, well,
what is Claude? Like, I don't know what that is.
And they were like free course on anthropic. And then
there would be extended courses on course AR. And then
It was like, oh, I could do an Excel. So
I did a little Excel one because I never really
learned how to use it. And then I would do
(40:36):
more and I was learning about different things. And I
was like, hey, like I could learn about Salesforce and
you know, further my CRM experience because I did have
some working in retail and I was like, I know
what a CRM is. I've actually got a lot of
experience doing that because I'd always just been in, I guess, sales.
It was either sales or my body and then I
switched to sales in retail. So I was like, okay, well,
(40:56):
I don't want to go back to that after my
mat leads done. I had listened to She's On The
Money and I'd listened to so many inspiring women where
I was like, I actually want my own career and
I want to have something that I can do and
not just, again, outsource my financial resources health to a
man I was like as much as I love my
husband I'm married you just never know I think I've
lived proof that you think you're with your person and
(41:17):
you never know and you have children that doesn't cement
anything and I really wanted to know that if something
god forbid happened that I'm now able to leave and
be okay and work and have a career and yeah
I just kind of went on there and picked random
courses and I was like I could do that how
hard could that be and then by the end of
the course I'm like I can do that I even
went to the point of trying to do like financial
(41:38):
courses because I was like maybe I could be a
financial planner and then I was like no this is
hard this requires like an actual degree and I'm gonna
have to sit down and like go back to school
but also how good, like, I just, I love it.
Like how hard could it be? Boys do this stuff
all the time. And I'm very much that person. I'm like,
I know if someone else could do it, like if
I know a man who can do that, you better
(41:59):
damn believe I can do that.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
We can do it better. Like it's proven. So tell
me what is your big money goal? What are you
currently working towards?
Speaker 2 (42:07):
We are trying to finalize our building loan as we
have just settled on our land. So finalizing our building
mortgage and being able to pay that down a lot quicker,
I want to have as much money in our offset
as we can. I also want to have like an
excess of savings in our emergency account. We're pretty lucky
(42:27):
we have a good amount. My husband earns quite a
lot of money. So we are earning it, but I
want to really be able to see where all of
our money is and really understand it all. I'm obsessed.
I love this.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
Let's go to a really quick break. And on the
flip side, I'm going to ask you about your debts,
personal insurance, your best and worst money habits. Guys, do
not go anywhere. Money Diarist, we are back. Tell me
about your investing journey.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
So I have downloaded Sharesies and I have used the
code and I'm ready to go, but I'm just trying
to decide. I also have three children and I really
want to be able to set them up with their
own like shares essentially. So I'm trying to choose like
three different investments. and then put money into them. I
have money set aside to start investing, but we're just
(43:15):
not there yet. Yeah. Fair. Love that. Tell me about debt.
You just settled on your land. So what does that
situation look like? The only personal debt that we have
is our mortgage. So we have $ 660, 000 worth of debt
for our land. Unfortunately, where we live, land is not cheap.
So That's a lot. I'm excited to learn off air
(43:36):
where you live. And then finalize our building. So once
our building contract is done, our total loan will probably
be around the $ 1. 2 million mark. And that will be
our only debt. We do have cars in our company,
but they only have $ 20, 000 left to pay. And it's
actually more beneficial right now for us to keep them.
Speaker 3 (43:56):
To leave the loan on that, especially because of like
depreciation and being able to claim it. I totally understand that.
Are you taking on more debt to do a big build?
Speaker 2 (44:07):
Yes, because I like expensive things still. And like we
absolutely could have saved and, you know, move further out
and done all of the things. But I kind of
wasn't willing to give up where we wanted to live
and the kind of home that we wanted to have.
But other than that, no, we're lucky that we won't
need to take out any more money after our build
(44:27):
is done, though, to finish it. Yeah perfect. Now tell
me about personal insurances. How are you protecting this lifestyle
that you have created? So my husband's actually still in
the process with Sky Wealth now getting his sorted. Oh
you are? Yes so we joined full cult. We're full
cult members. I love this. And so he is yeah
in the process of getting his sorted and then we'll
(44:48):
get mine sorted once our all of our building and
everything loans and sorted so that we know how much
we have to have covered. So tell me, what do
you think your best money habit is? I feel like
you've probably got a few and they're probably a little
bit crafty these days. I think probably my ability to
sort through numbers when you have a company and you
(45:09):
also have another sole trading business, it's quite confusing. I
think my ability to, you know, save when I'm quite stubborn.
And like I said, I have an addictive personality. So
since listening to finance podcasts, all of a sudden my
whole life has become about saving money and not spending it.
So tracking everything, I'm using the budget. sheet. I bought
the budget thing. I bought all the things. Oh, I
(45:29):
love you. To be able to do all of that.
So probably saving is my biggest thing only when I
decide to. Adore. And what is your worst money habit?
At the moment, it's probably our takeaway and impulse like food,
alcohol decisions. Both of us are quite stressed and we're
both incredibly busy. So we do tend to kind of
(45:50):
go Let's just get takeaway. And then all of a
sudden with three children and us, it's like $ 150 later
when we absolutely had food at home. There was absolutely
food in the fridge. We just needed to cook it.
But neither of us have the mental capacity. So that's
our absolute worst money habit. I hate how much we
spend on takeaway. it's actually becoming astronomical. We had some
(46:11):
friends over the other night and we were like, let's
get Indian. And like for us that, I don't know,
and maybe my brain is just not keeping up, but
10 years ago, Indian is like 40 bucks and we
get some really nice curries, some rice, everything. it was
nearly $ 200 on Uber Eats. And yes, it was probably
more expensive on Uber Eats, but what are you talking about?
Like that's to me dining out amounts. And like, I'm
(46:33):
not mad. Thankfully, I'm in the very fortunate position where
we could afford that. But I remember being like, wasn't
like takeout meant to be the easy, quick, like, you know,
it's not that expensive way. Like we used to get
fish and chips as kids on Friday nights. And like,
I remember that being like real cheap, minimum chips, right?
Minimum chips isn't a thing anymore. Yeah. Our fish and
(46:55):
chips is now like $ 65 minimum. And I want to
cry about it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.
That's just not for me. Not for fish and chips.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
If I've got $ 60, you sure as hell, I am
buying Atlantic salmon from the supermarket and cooking it myself.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
Where I say that, that I'm like, no, it won't happen.
I actively know that tonight's dinner is takeaway. Yeah. And
that's fine. I feel like we just need to be
aware of it, right? Now, Money Dirst, at the start
of this episode, you gave yourself a pretty good rating.
But now that we've spoken today, what grade would you
give your money habits? Like, would you change it? Are
you keeping it? I feel like vocalizing things sometimes makes
(47:30):
things different. I think I would keep it at a
B minus just because we're not investing yet. I feel
like once we're investing and once our personal insurances are done,
I'd be happy with like a B or an A minus.
Speaker 3 (47:40):
I love that I've loved this episode I've loved everything
about it thank you for being so candid and open
and fun to talk about but also just sharing that
like life is life and that is genuinely so wholesome
so I wish we had so much more time to
chat I wish we could hang out in person which
I don't know we can work that out but I
just know that the community has gotten a lot out
(48:01):
of this episode and I am very grateful.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
For it thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 4 (48:10):
The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Advice tailored towards your needs.
Speaker 4 (48:31):
Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives
of MoneySherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.
My name is Natasha Bamblett. I'm a proud First Nations
woman and I'm here to acknowledge country. Hello, beautiful friends.
We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank,
acknowledge and respect the Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering
on today.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Take pleasure in.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
All the land and respect all that you see. She's
On The Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community, and connections,
bringing you the tools, knowledge, and resources for you to thrive.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Hello and welcome to She's On The Money, the podcast
that lets you be pervy about other people's money stories
for educational purposes.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Of course.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Welcome back to another one of our Money Diaries brought
to you by our friends from Sky Wealth, where I
get the absolute privilege of sitting down with one of
our incredible She's On The Money community members and talking
all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it because
this week I got a message and it sounded exactly
like this. Hi, She's On The Money. I went from
being raised wealthy, but strict, to being a stripper earning
(01:22):
thousands a night, to a mom who depended on her
partner she met at the club, to leaving him and
living on $ 11.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
I wish this was an exaggeration. To meeting my now
husband working boring retail.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
But depending on a man again, to finding she's on
the money, leaving retail, starting with my husband's company, and
then creating my own business, outsourcing my services to other trades,
using Coursera, just like she's on the money mentioned, and
learnt everything on my mat leave. I overhauled our finances
since January and our super and we just settled on land.
(01:54):
I would love to share my story. Money, Doris, this
is a wild ride.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I'm excited. Yeah, it's a bit of a roller coaster
when you hear it like that.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
But like a super fun one, like I already know
just from that, I'm like, I want to be your friend.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
What do you mean?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
You were really rich, like raised rich. now a stripper,
like now you're a mom, then you weren't a mom.
And then off air, you were like, oh, I have
two kids who are like approaching their teenage years. And
also I just had another baby. Like you are just
so fun and I know it.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Some would say chaotic, but I like fun. Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Before we jump in, Money Dress, I need to know
if I asked you to give your money habits a
grade from A through to F, what would you grade them? F.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Think like a B minus or maybe a C. A
B minus, but then like an A plus for fun.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
A plus for fun and chaos, B minus for money. Love, love.
All right. Can we learn a bit more about your
money story, please? So I started off by being adopted
and I got adopted by my now parents when I
was three months old. I am not from this country.
And so my parents are from here and I didn't
have a concept of that they were wealthy. I just
(03:00):
grew up in a three and a half story home with,
you know, hot rods and beautiful things. And I just
kind of thought, I thought everyone had that. But also like,
why wouldn't you? You were adopted when you were three
months old. You literally know no different. Yeah, it didn't
click to me that that was like wealth or that
they were rich. And I just kind of thought that
everyone lived like this and I think if you were
to ask my parents they would tell you they weren't
(03:21):
rich but they actively were sorry you've got a three-story
house immediate rich in my head did you grow up
with a double door fridge by chance no because my
parents are the type of rich where their wealth was
kind of all very pared back except for the cars
and it was never flaunted like the house was huge
and the holidays were huge and the cars were very
impressive and but there was never like our TV still
(03:43):
has a back to it. Like there was no, there
was no plasmas. And again, hence why I didn't think
anything of it. I was just like, cool, this is
just normal. This is how all people get adopted into families, right?
I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Like I've never experienced adoption, but if I was, and
if I was going to volunteer for it, like it
would have to be into a rich family. Yeah, and
I think I felt pretty lucky. Like I got to
go on holidays. I got to do Disneyland. I got
to do all of those things and got to go
to a nice school. I did all of the dance programs.
Like I never had to miss out on anything in life,
I don't feel. But money was also never talked about.
(04:17):
So my dad was really strict on never speaking about
how much you earn. You're not meant to talk about
how much money you have. And because of that, I
didn't really learn anything. I was just told, get money,
save it. That was all. And like my work ethic
was also hugely important to my parents. I think I
had a job at like for dad when I was
like 12, he would pay me to go do cast
(04:38):
stuff with him and I'd get $ 5 a day. And
so I always knew I had to work. And then
I started at McDonald's and had to give some of
my paycheck to my parents and And always got charged
like rent, like higher than everyone else. Like if I
wanted a box of barbecue shapes, I had to pay
them $ 2.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
50.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
So I actually got charged more. What? Yeah, just because
I think they wanted me to understand that I don't
need these barbecue shapes. So if I want them, there's
a surcharge. Oh, they're like basically the uber bit parents. Yeah.
This is convenience.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
You could go get it yourself, but you're not going to.
So we are going to do a delivery fee.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
100%.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
So I was always just like, oh, they're so strict.
Like if I wanted $ 10 to go to the movies
when it used to cost that much, I had to
do a lot of things for it where I had
friends who would just be like, hey, I want to
go to the movies. And I would watch their parents
just give them cash. And that would never happen in
my household. I always had to earn everything I got.
So again, I think they were trying to teach me
the value of money, but it almost did the opposite
(05:35):
where I just went, no, I need to have my
own money so that they can't have any control over
what I can and can't do kind of thing. It's
interesting how money conversations in households can create I don't
want to use the word resentment because the way you're
talking about your parents, I don't think that's the case
at all. But it kind of, as a teenager who
doesn't necessarily understand everything, they didn't go, hey, cool. So
(05:59):
this is what we're going to be doing with money
with you. Other kids are going to have it really differently.
But the reason we're doing this money diarist is because,
you know, we really want to teach you the value
of the dollar. And you go, oh, okay, well, I
still don't like it, but at least I understand where
this is coming from. Whereas you might've just at that
point in time been like, wow, they're really restrictive and
(06:19):
they don't want me to live a good life. Yeah.
I honestly sometimes thought it was a bit of a
punishment and like, oh, I don't get to have these
things or I'm not deserving of these like access to money.
And so it did make me really like desperate to
make my own money and And I think they just
saw that as like, great, she has a great work ethic.
Like I always did over time. I would always do
the double shifts at McDonald's. Like any way I could
(06:41):
make more money, I wanted to do so. And I
think they were like, great, she'll save all this money.
They actually always had that policy that whatever you save
for your car, we'll put in. and we'll match it.
And then I never saved anything. Right.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
And so this was during school, you worked at Macca's,
then what happens? You're 18 and you finish school or like,
what's the story there?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
I actually got expelled because I was very rebellious and
my parents really struggled with that because they were very
like proper, strict, highly religious. I am on the other hand,
the opposite and And so I really fought against everything
that they wanted for me. I was like, no, absolutely not.
And I ended up actually doing one of those jobs
where you have to stand in the middle of a
(07:24):
shopping center and ask people if they want to sign
up to a charity. And they only pay you if
you get signups, but they sell you the dream of like,
you can make $ 20, 000 a month and you'll get all
of this money. But then you still have to drive
everywhere and go into the office every day. You get
to do like the dances in the morning. And it
(07:45):
was such a like, I was like, I'm going to
work in the corporate world. It felt like multi-level marketing.
It is literally like a more corporate version of that.
Like sell a dream, tell you that your commissions are
really uncapped, but then also I'm going to make it
really hard for you to make money because the product
you're selling is not something people want to buy. So
good luck.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
And like, obviously you get rejected by so many people. Like,
and now I know that those people are just working
for money, not because I care about the charities. Yeah.
And so now when I'm in the middle of the shops,
I'm like, no, thank you. I know how much you're
getting paid if I say yes. I'd rather just give
it to the charity directly. Yes, that's crazy work. And
then that lost me money. I actually lost money doing
that job because I was having to drive into the
(08:26):
city every day. And if you didn't sell anything that day,
there was no base wage. It was just commissions. Wow.
I didn't know that that's how it works. Yeah, I
think it was like $ 80 per sign up. So if
you do like six or seven of those in one day, hey, amazing.
But the average was like maybe one. And in my head,
I wasn't computing that $ 80 for one day of work
(08:46):
was horrible. And so instead, I was like, oh, okay,
I just have to find a new job eventually. And
this man approached me and was like, hey, you know,
have you ever thought about working in a club? And
I remember being like, oh, yeah, for sure. What kind
of club? I love going clubbing. Like I was 18.
I was a baby. I probably was three weeks into
being 18. Oh, my God. Wait. So a man, I
(09:08):
have to backtrack, a man approached you on the street
while you were working or like when, where, how? Yes. Well,
I was doing one of those stands and he was like, oh,
has anyone ever told you you're like beautiful? And I
was very much raised by traditional parents who my mom
had always like that was her main compliment was like,
you're really beautiful. Don't worry. Like someone will marry you.
You're really beautiful. And that was always really emphasized in
(09:30):
my whole life. So looks became such an important thing
to me that they then eventually became my entire career.
And so when he did, I was kind of just like, yeah,
of course, what do you mean? Like I'm 18. I'm like, yeah,
thank you. And he was like, you could make this
much money. And again, I was working a job that
I was losing money in. Yeah, it sounds like a
great opportunity. And as you said, I love clubs. Yeah,
(09:52):
I was like, how bad could this be? And then
I get there and it's a strip club. Like it's
a full blown old school movie. like strip club. And
I'm like, okay, cool. I can dance. My parents paid
me to all of these amazing dance classes. I can
still do the splits and I'm a pretty confident bubbly person.
(10:14):
And so I was like, Hell yeah. Why not? On paper,
you are going to thrive there. Absolutely. And they get
you to choose your name and all of those ridiculous things.
And you kind of go, okay. Oh, how do you
choose your name? That's fun. Is it like first street
and first pet name? Because that's how I've always picked
my names based on social media posts. It's not nearly
as cool as that. They literally said, what name do
(10:35):
you pick? And I went, oh. um okay and I
chose because I could see behind the bar a bottle
of alcohol and I just chose the name of that
bottle of alcohol and that's what worked for me and
so I was like great let's go with that it
kind of suits the way I look and we'll just
hope for the best and you know how bad can
this be and then I went there and then that
(10:57):
first night I made like a lot of money like
I made a I think my first customer gave me
$ 500 just for being like a baby stripper is what
they would call it, which now that I'm an adult goes, ew. Yeah, totally.
But at the time you had no idea. And yeah,
so I remember being like, oh my God, I didn't
make this much in this whole time I was at
(11:18):
this other job. And I've just made that in half
an hour with a three minute lap dance. And you're like,
I'm fine to do this.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
And I mean, everybody is going to have different like
tolerance levels and be like, oh, I never, or I
would or whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
But like, who kind of cares what your personal preferences are?
I'm finding this so interesting. So you went in and
I feel like if somebody blindsided me and said, oh,
you're coming to work at a club, then it was
a strip club. I'd kind of be taken aback and
be like, oh, I don't know. But were you like, yeah, whatever.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
I'll take my clothes off. Like I've got no qualms
about this. Or were you a bit like, oh, I've
got reservations, but I should try it. Like, how did
that work?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
I think my personality at that point in my life
was just like, excuse my French, but like, that was
just how I thought about doing things. And I think
I was very confident in who I was. And, you know,
everyone likes to think when you're 18, you know, everything.
And I'm like, how bad could this industry be? Like
I've watched, I mean, I watched Coyote Ugly and I
was like, I want to do that. And that's essentially
(12:19):
what I thought I was doing was just Coyote Ugly,
but like less clothes and, And I was like, I
can do this. It's a different kind of performing, I guess.
And I just really fell in love with the money,
but I actually fell in love with the job for
a portion of time. But I love that.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
I think we should all enjoy what we do. And
I'm actually glad that you did. Were you still living
at home at this point?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I did live at home for maybe two weeks of it.
And then because I'd made so much money, I moved
immediately into a share house and And was just like,
I don't need them for anything. Look at me now.
I have that freedom I wanted. I can do whatever.
And I really became like, I don't know, the wolf
of Wall Street. I was just like, I'll buy this
and I can do this. And I was just going
(13:05):
to buy everything I've ever wanted. And all of a
sudden I could live by myself. I didn't need anybody.
And I moved into a share house with the best,
funnest people ever who were the opposite of my lifestyle.
They all worked in IT. And I obviously was a stripper.
So I got to live. It was very big bang
theory of me. I was the penny and they were
(13:25):
all so beautiful and loving, but I was paying $ 600
a month for bills, rent and everything. And I was
making $ 600 in an hour. Yeah, that's so crazy. So crazy.
Did your parents know? No, they definitely were told that
I worked at a bar and I just never discussed it. Again,
them being so strict and conservative, I think that we
(13:46):
really just had a don't ask, don't tell policy. But
in saying that, probably three years in, my mum did
make some outfits for me and I think she just
must have thought that that's what I was wearing at
the bar. They also knew how much money I was
bringing in because I had like Louis Vuitton suitcases. And
all of a sudden I was, you know, living this
quite over the top life. And they didn't question it.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Like I'm telling you right now, if my daughter comes
home with a Louis Vuitton suitcase that I didn't purchase
for her, I'm going to be like, girlfriend, what were
you doing?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
I think they really were like... uh, what's that saying?
Like just it's best not to know. Turning a blind eye. Yeah.
They were turning a blind eye and just hoping for
the best. I think they'd had such a rollercoaster of
teenage me and they're really those kind of parents that
just love you no matter what. Oh, that's sweet though.
But like, do you think they kind of knew, but
they were like, whatever, like she seems fine. We're not
(14:36):
going to ask about it. I think they kind of
knew and it would be easier to go to church
every week if they just didn't know. I think that's
how it went down. And for them, they were just like, okay,
no worries. And it was all great until obviously it
wasn't great. It wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Totally understood. So you live in that life. You said
it was great until it wasn't. What does that look like?
Because did you meet.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Like, I guess there's a very stereotypical experience when someone
becomes a stripper, right? And we've seen it online. It's
a slippery slope. And often it filters into, you know,
a few more untowards things, which, you know, if it's consensual, like,
and it's happening between consenting adults, like it's none of
my business. But like, is that your experience? Because I
(15:25):
feel like you said, I met my husband at work.
I think I actually had like a really great experience
considering until the end. But like, I do believe that
I watched all those movies thinking, okay, every girl's going
to be on drugs or they're going to, you know,
where that wasn't the truth. I actually met a lot
of women who were studying to be nurses. There was
one who was going to work in the Navy, but
(15:45):
she just needed to be able to pay off her
house first. The most successful girl I ever worked with,
who is now like a really big lawyer, was just
paying for law school and didn't drink at all, you know,
drove to work every night and drove home. And I
think I lived kind of like both of those lives.
At that time, I didn't use any drugs, but I
did drink a lot. And I think that that was
(16:07):
probably what I used as a coping mechanism to deal
with the negative side of that industry. But God, does
the positive side feed your ego? Like, I think... Like
all things, people have their preferences and it's a sexual job,
so people have their sexual preferences. And if guys wanted
a certain look that wasn't me, I wasn't going to
be for them. And sometimes they would be really clear
(16:28):
and let you know that. And that takes a toll.
But then you would have another client who would come in,
who would see you every single week, who would pay
your rent, pay my bills, have my phone direct debited
to him, even though he didn't even know my real
name because they care about you or they really like
your personality or your looks just alone. And so... that
(16:49):
side kind of feeds that ego of like, I'm incredible
and I'm making so much money. But, you know, there
is obviously that dark side of it can take a
really big toll. It's really exhausting. It's not nearly as
easy money as I thought it was. It does. require
a lot of like one physicality and two like you
have to have thick skin because people will come and
put a dollar on your stage and you just have
(17:10):
to keep going like that hasn't crushed your soul or
you know people will tell you to lose weight and
as an 18 year old you're so impressionable and I
think now like the world is so different I don't
think when I could be wrong but I don't think
you make as much money in clubs anymore because only
fans exist But I think that's also so dangerous in
so many ways but so great in other ways because
I think if you want to do that, amazing power
(17:31):
to you. Like I believe in doing whatever you want
with your body. At the end of the day, I
wasn't ashamed of what I did for a job but
I wish that someone had told me like, hey, this
is what you'll be known for. People are going to come.
People are going to know. And now it's even worse
because they don't have to see me in person. They could,
you know, just view you online. Yeah, I feel like
that's such a good point. And I have a really
(17:53):
good girlfriend who works was a stripper and an escort
and did that all through uni. I knew that's what
she was up to. And she now is so wealthy.
It's not funny, but she's also a lawyer. And one
of the things she says is I would never recommend
in 25, 26, somebody to do that anymore because she's like,
(18:13):
you cannot find any evidence of what I did. She's like,
I am not, not proud of it. I talk about it.
It's not a secret.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Like everyone around me knew, but like future employers, they
can't find it. Like there's no photos of her. There's
no like ongoing trail. She's like, if they find out great,
but there's no like photos to circulate in a group text.
And so I think that that's a really important consideration
these days because so many people They go, oh, I'll
just do OnlyFans. Like people have been, you know, making
(18:41):
money off sex work for so long. And I get it.
If that's aligned to your values, like more power to you.
I've done so many episodes with people who have made
millions from OnlyFans and pop off queens. But also if
that's not what.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Your long-term goal is, you do have to sit down
and think about like, well, how would this potentially impact
the life I do want to lead? And what would
that look like?
Speaker 3 (19:06):
And if you're happy taking that risk and you feel
happy taking on that load, like great. But for some people,
it's not going to work out in that way.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
And I still look at it like I'm the same
where I was from that era. I'm a little bit
old now, but I was from that era where there
is no evidence of what I did. Everything's deleted off
the internet. I still have the photos of what I
look like just to remember that that's what I once
looked like. But apart from that, the only thing that
exists from that is my ex and the children that
I have. And pop off. You'd love that. Yeah. Like
(19:36):
for me, that was the good thing that came out
of all of it as toxic as that industry is.
And there's how, you know, much it can change your life.
I did also get to meet someone in the club,
which was like, I just gave this person a lap
dance and they were really young and I was also
really young and they kept coming back and I ended
up making a lot of money. I accidentally took a
(19:58):
lot of their savings and before we dated, which my
ex-mother-in-law did not love. But yeah, so then we met
and it all happened quite quickly. And he actually let
me work in the industry for like at least a
year and a half post us meeting. He used to
drive me to any of my private functions. I was
really quite accepting of everything. When I left the industry,
(20:20):
then it was a conversation of us having children eventually.
And then I got told I have endometriosis. So they
were like, if you want to have children, we don't
even know if it's possible, but you should probably try sooner.
And he was like, okay, we're 21. sure how hard
can it be oh my goodness you were a baby
and i should have done the math so you said
before i'm getting old baby you're 32 like and you
(20:43):
don't look 32 and i'm sitting here and i'm 35
and i'm like what do you mean you're getting old
sit down I think for the adult industry, 32 is old. Oh,
she's getting on. People are like, oh, would you ever
go back to doing that? I'm like, no, no. Even
if I look 10 out of 10 in my head,
I don't need, no one needs to see that. It's
(21:04):
too old now. No, no. And I feel like there's like,
you know, you don't want to regress to like a
previous life that you had that clearly was not aligned
to the values that you currently have. So- you're 21,
you decide to have your first kid. How does that go?
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Like, what does life look like going from, and can
we just ask how much on average do you think
you were making when you were working as a stripper?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Minimum per week would have been three and a half thousand.
I think I tracked for a good six month portion
from 19 to almost 20. And I had made around
$ 195, 000 worth of cash. of cash. And I had spent
almost that same amount.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Cause like, let's be honest and this is going to
stay anonymous, but like, I'm assuming the ATO didn't know
about a lot of that cash. Yeah. A huge amount.
I did actually claim some because I wanted to claim
my makeup and my big giant stilettos and some of
those things. So I claimed to portion, but yeah, obviously
when you're dealing in that industry, this was before you could,
you know, add a tap and pay to your phone.
(22:09):
So it was an old school ATM that they'd have
to go to, to get more cash out for you.
And there was no transferring to my personal names or anything.
It was, if you want it, you got to pay
me cash. And yeah, I made a lot of it.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
And like, that's just good context, but how do you
go from earning that amount to going, okay, I'm 21.
And like my partner and I have decided to have
a child. because you, I don't know, can you work
as a pregnant stripper? You probably can.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
There would probably be a niche for it now in OnlyFans,
but unfortunately that wasn't my niche. No. I think one,
the industry had played me out so poorly that I
was just done with it. So there was like in
my brain, I'd switch that off. So I just wasn't
able to do that anymore. And I was no longer
wanting to make that money anyway. So it was quite
(22:57):
easy for me to turn it off from that aspect.
But going from being the breadwinner, I made the most
amount of money I paid for all my life to
then having to go to a man and outsource my
financial health to him was tricky. But back then we
were quite fortunate. He actually got paid like a, I
think it was like two grand with overtime every single week.
And I think we paid maybe $ 400 of rent. So
(23:22):
we weren't struggling. I never felt like we were struggling.
We actually have conversations now about like, oh my gosh,
I feel like his wages went so much further than
he feels like they do now. But we were lucky
that he was fully qualified and that we had this life.
And I also never felt like we were going to
be left abandoned. We both had families that were willing
to help us and bought most of our stuff. So
(23:44):
we really didn't have to buy much, even house furniture.
When we moved into our own place, it was just like,
I think his mom bought our whole entire house furnished
from Focus On. So we were like, okay, great.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
And you touched on something before that I thought was
really interesting. You said a lot of his savings went
to me before we were in a relationship, which his
mother didn't like. So did his mother know that he'd
like taken a stripper home.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
From the club? Yeah, he'd literally done the cliche song.
He'd fallen in love with a stripper. I believe T-Pain
said that. Yeah, quote T-Pain. I was his first ever girlfriend,
the poor man. So he really threw himself into the
deep end. Well, I think I may have pushed him
into the deep end and just held him there. But yeah,
she wasn't too happy. They were actually pretty accepting of
(24:33):
what I did for a job. I think it was
the fact that I'd left their son without as much
money that they didn't love. And that I was very
like credit card positive. I was like, heck yeah, let's
get personal loans. Let's get credit cards. And I didn't
have a job that we could do that in. So
he had the job that had the, you know, pay slips.
So I had no qualms, you know, kind of being like,
(24:55):
let's do this. I can be a very persuasive person.
I mean, look what I did for a job. I'm
very good. I was about to say it's in your nature.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
I think like a scary thing is how good I
am at manipulating men and still to this day have
to actively make sure I don't do that. I think
that's always been a talent of mine and I built
an entire career out of it and, you know, have
met my ex that way. And so I really did
have a knack for just being like, cool. you know,
let's just get a credit card. I remember being like, oh,
I really want this thing, but I just don't want
(25:22):
to have, you know, I don't have the cash right
now because I would spend my cash as quickly as
it came in. And it would be a Monday where
I didn't work. And so we would just figure it out.
Do you know what I mean? Like latitude and us
were besties. We were tight. Right.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
So you get pregnant and you're relying heavily on credit
cards and personal loans and, you know, cash is coming
in the door. But tell me, How does your life change?
Speaker 2 (25:46):
I think it changed very little because we didn't do
anything either. We went from having like I worked predominantly
weekends and nighttimes and he was a homebody. So we
just went into our home and had our baby and
we were young and I was very lucky that I
have still my best friend today who also had a child.
And kind of gave me the confidence to be like, ah,
you've got this. How about we can all, we'll burn together.
(26:08):
It'll be fine. And so she would come over and
my other best friend would help me out every other day.
But he would work long hours and I would be
at home with the kids and I fell in love
with it. I have a very addictive personality. So I
actively threw it all, like everything I had into being
a mom to the point where I did my early
education just so that I could understand his developmental and
(26:28):
all of that. Stop. I can never do anything by halves,
hence what's brought me to Shoes on the Money because
I can't listen to a podcast by halves. And so
I think it's definitely that thing where it seemed actually
really easy. Having our first two children was a breeze.
I think staying together was less easy because we were babies. Yeah.
But having the kids portion was actually kind of the
fun part. Like I found it really easy. I love
(26:51):
that that's the experience you got of motherhood. Cause sometimes
when you have kids really young, you're not like emotionally
equipped to deal with that. Even though you think you
might be like, Oh, I feel like I'm missing out.
You're like, no, that was the fun bit. I love this.
So what happened next? Like, your relationship doesn't work out? Well,
COVID happened and we were meant to get married and
(27:13):
we had actually got a loan out for our wedding.
And I remember being like, okay, well, we know that
COVID's happening. We should postpone it. And I think that
neither of us were sad that we had to postpone it.
And like the best thing about us was that we
had become best friends, that we were really, you know,
like content, I think, but we maybe weren't happy. And
(27:33):
there were a lot of little fights and a lot
of little changes in our life that happened. And yeah,
we had to cancel our wedding. And then I think
we realized we should probably cancel our our relationship and
again I was quite like I was so young I
can own that I was pretty toxic in that environment
as well because I just was like we have kids
and we were both such great parents he's such a
great father we just weren't each other's people by that
(27:55):
point anymore I was no longer the same person that
he met and he was still to me the similar
person to what I'd met and I think motherhood obviously
changes you in such a deep way and I feel
like I had changed in a something different. And I
think he absolutely needed something different. That's honestly so refreshing.
(28:17):
I feel like there's always like, oh, he cheated, she cheated.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
You know, we fell out of love. We're arguing all
the time. Like, it seems like you still have a
very positive view and relationship of the person you now
co-parent with. Is that an accurate representation of what I'm
picking up?
Speaker 2 (28:33):
A hundred percent. Like we obviously have our times where
it's usually me who has an attitude and like we
have our little fights, but for the majority, like... Old
habits die hard.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I still have to pull myself up or my now
husband has to pull me up and be like, hey,
let's be a little bit nicer in the most loving way.
And I'm like, oh, fine.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Right.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
I'm like, am I the problem? That's often what I'm
asking myself. Well, I mean, that's really good self-reflection that
you're able to be like, I seem to be the
common denominator here. And my parents also really love to
point that out as well. They're like, hey, just maybe
that's a you thing. That could be you. And I'm like,
how dare you not just take my side and blindly
like say. You are my parents. But yeah, no, I
(29:16):
think like we are really lucky. I think we co-parent
really well. Our kids and I still do Christmas all together.
We do all matching pajamas. We're both now remarried and
both have new children. And I think we put in
a really big effort to get along. and try and
make sure that for our kids, you know, who are
still figuring it all out and still trying to understand
why mum and dad aren't together, I think we do
(29:37):
a pretty good job of staying, you know, friendly. And also, like,
I think it's really important to state that, like, I've
never seen him so in love and him so happy.
I love that. And, like, I think I'm the same.
I think we both... I think he got the wife
that he really needed and he gets treated the way
he deserves to be treated. And I think I also
get treated the way I deserve to be treated. And
(29:59):
I just think we weren't each other's people. And now
our kids are so lucky because they get to see
both their parents in actual love, not just in a
relationship for the sake of being with the children. I
am obsessed with that. And who would have thought the
stripper story was going to become so wholesome? Yeah, you
wouldn't believe the amount of people. I forget that that's
where you both started. And I was like, yeah, I
(30:19):
was in a strip club.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
So at what point did your parents find out or
did they not find out? You're talking so openly about
this at the moment that I feel like it had
to have come up in every other aspect of your
life at some point. When I left the industry, unfortunately,
something bad did happen to me that made me leave
the industry. And because of the police's involvement with that,
my parents did find out that way.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Which was obviously horrible. But at the same time, they
couldn't be mad at me because, you know, I was
dealing with so much already. But it kind of took
that like, hey, sorry, no, totally, for sure, for sure.
But we have to just scan over that and help me.
And so, yeah, because of that, it kind of took
away that conversation. And I mean, it's 11 years post
me leaving and we've never had that conversation. Oh, you
(31:02):
still haven't spoken about it. Like it came up in
a super traumatic and triggering way. You couldn't talk at,
you were like, Hey, but we have to actually focus
on this other thing that's going on. So don't ask
me about that. Cause like right now I'm a little
bit too obviously fragile. And then they just never brought
it up again. Well, yeah, then I gave them grandchildren
and they were just like obsessed and they just now
(31:25):
are so thankful that I gave them these grandchildren that
I think that it's best if we just never. And
that is how we deal with conflict in that family
is 100%. I'm a talker. I love talking stuff out.
They are not that way. So I'm like, hey, that's cool.
We just never have to do that. And they don't
drink or anything. So it doesn't really come up in
like drunken conversations or anything. It's just like, We never
(31:46):
need to talk about it. That's so interesting. But also
just like so much part of that journey. Do you
think your kids will ever know what type of work
you were involved in at some point? I have no issue,
especially I have one daughter. I have no issue talking
about it because I think it's really important to talk
about easy money. And I say that with air quotes
because I don't think easy money exists. That job took
(32:08):
a huge toll on my life for the rest of
my life. And it also gave me a huge amount
of money at that point in my life. But when
I look back and think, was it worth it? I
would probably say no. So I think it's important to
have those conversations with my children to say, there are
so many jobs that are going to come and are
going to be like, you could make X, Y, and
Z so quickly. But really think about, as you would say,
(32:31):
it doesn't align with your values or is it going
to be worth it in the end?
Speaker 4 (32:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
And I think that that's a really important conversation to have,
obviously at an age appropriate level. Like, I don't know
if your kid's eight, I'm probably not going, mommy was
a stripper. Like that's, that's not it. But like, I
think once they get to an age where it's like.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Oh, well, actually, did you know your mom was up
to this? Like, I think it can actually be really
constructive for your relationship as well. And like, could even
build it in a really positive way. Cause you're kind
of like, well, actually mom did this. So like, this
ain't my first rodeo. Like, Oh, you think you're good?
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Well, I think I'm so open to, and I have
no shame in what I did. So I'm like, I
also want to teach them that, Hey, you can do whatever.
And if you want to work in this industry, or
if you want to work for this, I'm going to
be supportive no matter what we choose to do, because
there is no shame here. Yeah. No love. And yeah,
Now fast forward, you're married to the love of your
(33:27):
life and you have another baby 10 plus years later. Yeah.
So I went through that period of being a single
parent as well that I had, you know, next to
no money and had to learn how to struggle and
had to do all of that. And I really said, okay,
I never want to put all my money based off
a man's income again. When I separated from my ex,
(33:48):
I didn't get anything. I realized I hadn't had super
for 10 years. I hadn't had any of my own savings.
I have nothing to show for even on a resume,
let alone a bank account or credit history because everything
was in his name. And so I was like, okay,
but I also... I'm living off $ 11. So what am
(34:08):
I going to do? And I actively only went out
and dated wealthy men. Again, this was that mentality of like, hey, well,
what am I good at doing? And I'll go and
I'll find someone that's maybe okay with not being in love. And,
you know, I'll just, we'll figure out a way that
I can survive because I feel like I'm very good
at just surviving and And then I realized that I
(34:28):
absolutely can't do this. And I was so bored sitting
in Nobu, not wanting to eat my raw fish. And
I was just like, actually, I can't. I don't want
this life for me or for my children. And I
just won't date. And then I met my partner and
he was actively just meant to be for fun. He
was not the most financially smart person. In fact, he
(34:50):
He was, you know, quite wild for a 30 year
old man. Like he had his own business, but I
don't think he was, you know, thinking about saving. He'd
already traveled a lot of the world. So for him,
that was kind of his priority. And I remember thinking,
this is not a stable like person that you could
as a person with three or two children could be with.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
And you were kind of like of the mentality and
like rightly or wrongly, you were like, I'm only going
to date wealthy men. And I'm only going to be
doing X, Y, and Z. And then how did you meet?
Speaker 2 (35:20):
Like, how do you meet someone that's out of that
wheelhouse and then end up dating them? Because obviously you
clearly had a strategy in your head. You're like, girl,
I'm going to marry rich.
Speaker 4 (35:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
I think I was like, okay, well, I can't work
because I have two kids at home. So I need
to marry like money. I, can't afford a mortgage so
I'm gonna have to marry someone I said I would
only date someone with a home they had to have
owned a home and bless my partner he had like
a man cave that he rented um and we met
on tinder so good old-fashioned tinder I met my husband
on tinder yeah I feel like it's like common these
(35:51):
days and again it was just meant to be fun
I was never meant to see him again and we
actually ended up really getting along and then the new
wave of COVID because it's obviously year post separating uh
the new wave of COVID came and we got put
in lockdowns and my ex and I shared custody and
I would have one of the weekends he would have
you know the other and so I was like well
there's nothing better to do you make them come and
(36:13):
hang out and then we just ended up getting along
like a house on fire and I had to kind
of pretend that I was like it's fine everything's fine
that you've fallen in love with this person it's so
fine I'll figure it out. How bad can it be?
But I then learned that he had like an amazing
work ethic. He'd built a really cool company and that
he had drive. And I think with a little education
(36:33):
or maybe some manipulation, I could help him get there.
You're killing me. You're killing me. But also this is great.
And become like financially stable. And I also learned that
he is a lot more financially stable than I thought
he was. It was just that because we weren't intending
to date there didn't need to be those kind of
deep conversations about like, hey, what's your goals in life?
It was kind of just like, hi, come over at 3am.
(36:56):
And so it didn't really matter how much he earned.
And yeah, so he was just a sole trader. And
then him and I started dating. And I was like,
are you sure? Because like, I come with two tiny humans.
And at this point of my life, I had full custody.
So I was like, like he sees them every other
time or when he can, but like it's me and them.
So what are you going to do? We're a package deal.
(37:18):
What's up? And he looked at our chaos and said, yeah, okay, let's,
let's do it. Oh, I love him. But we did
enter into that relationship saying we will, I'm never having
another child again. I've done this. And he was so
supportive of that. Unfortunately, he decided to be a phenomenal
step parent. And I had to be like, I love this.
(37:38):
We were talking about this off air. I was like,
you said you would never have children again. So was
it an accident? You were like, no, no, this was
not an accident. I just saw how great he was
at being a dad and wanted to do it again.
We very much intended to do that. And now we
have a one-year-old son. So we're very, very happy. I'm
obsessed and that's just so lovely like I was saying
(38:02):
to you that one thing when I met my husband
I was like oh damn like this is something that
historically in all of my relationships I was like oh
I don't know if I want children and then I
met my husband and I.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Was like I really want your babies like I cannot
wait to see you be a dad and like that's
such a nice thing right Does that mean you're only
going to have one?
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Or is there like another one in the future? Yes,
we're done. He's been to the doctors. Never again. Okay.
But like you said that the first time. Well, thankfully
this time vasectomies exist and... They can be reversed. Like
science is amazing. Not a money win though. Not a
money win to reverse them. They do cost a lot
(38:45):
of money. And no, I just don't think I could
do that again. I'm so tired. Do you know what?
I love that. So... Now you have a one-year-old, you
are married to the love of your life. What do
you do for work? How much money do you earn?
I make $ 120, 000 a year. Pop off queen. I work
two jobs. So my first job is that I work
for my husband's company, which is now a company. We're
(39:06):
no longer sole traders. And I am the operations manager
and all of the back end. And then my other
job is like a company, well, that I've kind of
started and I am a virtual assistant in creating AI
startup processes for other trade companies to help them get
that ball rolling. That's incredible. So she's smart and pretty. Well,
(39:29):
she wasn't smart. up until she went on mat leave
and then decided I should start listening to a podcast.
And that podcast suggested I should take some free courses online.
And I was like, hey, I could do that. And
then I learned about AI. Oh, my God. How good.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
I need to get on that Coursera stuff because there's
just so much stuff online that you can learn for free.
Tell me, how did you pick what you were going
to learn? Because for those of you playing along at
home who maybe are like, what is Coursera? It is
a website that you can go to and lots of
universities and educational institutions around the world upload courses that
(40:04):
you can do for free. And yes, you can pay
at the end to get the proper certificate, but like
you can upskill yourself without having to pay for the
certificate at the end that the course is free.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
So how did you pick, well, what am I going
to learn? Literally TikTok. I was on TikTok and people
would talk about things like Claude and I was like, well,
what is Claude? Like, I don't know what that is.
And they were like free course on anthropic. And then
there would be extended courses on course AR. And then
It was like, oh, I could do an Excel. So
I did a little Excel one because I never really
learned how to use it. And then I would do
(40:36):
more and I was learning about different things. And I
was like, hey, like I could learn about Salesforce and
you know, further my CRM experience because I did have
some working in retail and I was like, I know
what a CRM is. I've actually got a lot of
experience doing that because I'd always just been in, I guess, sales.
It was either sales or my body and then I
switched to sales in retail. So I was like, okay, well,
(40:56):
I don't want to go back to that after my
mat leads done. I had listened to She's On The
Money and I'd listened to so many inspiring women where
I was like, I actually want my own career and
I want to have something that I can do and
not just, again, outsource my financial resources health to a
man I was like as much as I love my
husband I'm married you just never know I think I've
lived proof that you think you're with your person and
(41:17):
you never know and you have children that doesn't cement
anything and I really wanted to know that if something
god forbid happened that I'm now able to leave and
be okay and work and have a career and yeah
I just kind of went on there and picked random
courses and I was like I could do that how
hard could that be and then by the end of
the course I'm like I can do that I even
went to the point of trying to do like financial
(41:38):
courses because I was like maybe I could be a
financial planner and then I was like no this is
hard this requires like an actual degree and I'm gonna
have to sit down and like go back to school
but also how good, like, I just, I love it.
Like how hard could it be? Boys do this stuff
all the time. And I'm very much that person. I'm like,
I know if someone else could do it, like if
I know a man who can do that, you better
(41:59):
damn believe I can do that.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
We can do it better. Like it's proven. So tell
me what is your big money goal? What are you
currently working towards?
Speaker 2 (42:07):
We are trying to finalize our building loan as we
have just settled on our land. So finalizing our building
mortgage and being able to pay that down a lot quicker,
I want to have as much money in our offset
as we can. I also want to have like an
excess of savings in our emergency account. We're pretty lucky
(42:27):
we have a good amount. My husband earns quite a
lot of money. So we are earning it, but I
want to really be able to see where all of
our money is and really understand it all. I'm obsessed.
I love this.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
Let's go to a really quick break. And on the
flip side, I'm going to ask you about your debts,
personal insurance, your best and worst money habits. Guys, do
not go anywhere. Money Diarist, we are back. Tell me
about your investing journey.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
So I have downloaded Sharesies and I have used the
code and I'm ready to go, but I'm just trying
to decide. I also have three children and I really
want to be able to set them up with their
own like shares essentially. So I'm trying to choose like
three different investments. and then put money into them. I
have money set aside to start investing, but we're just
(43:15):
not there yet. Yeah. Fair. Love that. Tell me about debt.
You just settled on your land. So what does that
situation look like? The only personal debt that we have
is our mortgage. So we have $ 660, 000 worth of debt
for our land. Unfortunately, where we live, land is not cheap.
So That's a lot. I'm excited to learn off air
(43:36):
where you live. And then finalize our building. So once
our building contract is done, our total loan will probably
be around the $ 1. 2 million mark. And that will be
our only debt. We do have cars in our company,
but they only have $ 20, 000 left to pay. And it's
actually more beneficial right now for us to keep them.
Speaker 3 (43:56):
To leave the loan on that, especially because of like
depreciation and being able to claim it. I totally understand that.
Are you taking on more debt to do a big build?
Speaker 2 (44:07):
Yes, because I like expensive things still. And like we
absolutely could have saved and, you know, move further out
and done all of the things. But I kind of
wasn't willing to give up where we wanted to live
and the kind of home that we wanted to have.
But other than that, no, we're lucky that we won't
need to take out any more money after our build
(44:27):
is done, though, to finish it. Yeah perfect. Now tell
me about personal insurances. How are you protecting this lifestyle
that you have created? So my husband's actually still in
the process with Sky Wealth now getting his sorted. Oh
you are? Yes so we joined full cult. We're full
cult members. I love this. And so he is yeah
in the process of getting his sorted and then we'll
(44:48):
get mine sorted once our all of our building and
everything loans and sorted so that we know how much
we have to have covered. So tell me, what do
you think your best money habit is? I feel like
you've probably got a few and they're probably a little
bit crafty these days. I think probably my ability to
sort through numbers when you have a company and you
(45:09):
also have another sole trading business, it's quite confusing. I
think my ability to, you know, save when I'm quite stubborn.
And like I said, I have an addictive personality. So
since listening to finance podcasts, all of a sudden my
whole life has become about saving money and not spending it.
So tracking everything, I'm using the budget. sheet. I bought
the budget thing. I bought all the things. Oh, I
(45:29):
love you. To be able to do all of that.
So probably saving is my biggest thing only when I
decide to. Adore. And what is your worst money habit?
At the moment, it's probably our takeaway and impulse like food,
alcohol decisions. Both of us are quite stressed and we're
both incredibly busy. So we do tend to kind of
(45:50):
go Let's just get takeaway. And then all of a
sudden with three children and us, it's like $ 150 later
when we absolutely had food at home. There was absolutely
food in the fridge. We just needed to cook it.
But neither of us have the mental capacity. So that's
our absolute worst money habit. I hate how much we
spend on takeaway. it's actually becoming astronomical. We had some
(46:11):
friends over the other night and we were like, let's
get Indian. And like for us that, I don't know,
and maybe my brain is just not keeping up, but
10 years ago, Indian is like 40 bucks and we
get some really nice curries, some rice, everything. it was
nearly $ 200 on Uber Eats. And yes, it was probably
more expensive on Uber Eats, but what are you talking about?
Like that's to me dining out amounts. And like, I'm
(46:33):
not mad. Thankfully, I'm in the very fortunate position where
we could afford that. But I remember being like, wasn't
like takeout meant to be the easy, quick, like, you know,
it's not that expensive way. Like we used to get
fish and chips as kids on Friday nights. And like,
I remember that being like real cheap, minimum chips, right?
Minimum chips isn't a thing anymore. Yeah. Our fish and
(46:55):
chips is now like $ 65 minimum. And I want to
cry about it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.
That's just not for me. Not for fish and chips.
Speaker 3 (47:03):
If I've got $ 60, you sure as hell, I am
buying Atlantic salmon from the supermarket and cooking it myself.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
Where I say that, that I'm like, no, it won't happen.
I actively know that tonight's dinner is takeaway. Yeah. And
that's fine. I feel like we just need to be
aware of it, right? Now, Money Dirst, at the start
of this episode, you gave yourself a pretty good rating.
But now that we've spoken today, what grade would you
give your money habits? Like, would you change it? Are
you keeping it? I feel like vocalizing things sometimes makes
(47:30):
things different. I think I would keep it at a
B minus just because we're not investing yet. I feel
like once we're investing and once our personal insurances are done,
I'd be happy with like a B or an A minus.
Speaker 3 (47:40):
I love that I've loved this episode I've loved everything
about it thank you for being so candid and open
and fun to talk about but also just sharing that
like life is life and that is genuinely so wholesome
so I wish we had so much more time to
chat I wish we could hang out in person which
I don't know we can work that out but I
just know that the community has gotten a lot out
(48:01):
of this episode and I am very grateful.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
For it thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 4 (48:10):
The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Advice tailored towards your needs.
Speaker 4 (48:31):
Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives
of MoneySherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.
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