April 23, 2026 • 30 mins
Be honest… are you actually spending more, or does it just feel that way?
In this week’s Friday Drinks, we’re unpacking the very real confusion between lifestyle creep and the rising cost of literally everything. If you’ve looked at your bank account lately and thought “how am I spending this much when I’m not even doing anything outrageous?”… this one’s for you.
We’re also diving into a DM that hits a little close to home. What happens when you’re the one making all the financial decisions in your relationship… not because you want to control everything, but because your partner just isn’t interested? How do you get them involved without turning into the nag, and how do you stop carrying the guilt?
Plus, as always:
Jess brings the community money wins
Bec delivers broke tips that actually work (especially if you’re in your “survival week” era)
And we answer your Question of the Week, which might make you feel very seen…
💬 Want to be on the pod? Send us your dilemma via voice note on our website
📩 Got a question you’re dying to ask? Slide into our DMs
⭐️ And if you loved this episode… you know what to do
Plus, if you’ve ever had a money question you’ve been too scared to ask, this is your reminder that you can send it to us. Drop us a voice memo via our website and we might answer it on the show. You spill, we help. Beep.
Join our 400K+ She's on the Money community in our Facebook Group and on Instagram.
Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements.
The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708, AFSL - 451289
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name's Sasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations woman
and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young Ganya Niana,
Kaka ya Ya bin Ahaka Nian our gay In Mbini
yakarum Jar dominyamiga Umagahawaka Woman, Damon Imlan Bumba ban Gadabomba
in and now in wakah ghan On yak rum Jar
(00:20):
water Nadaa. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather on the lands
of the Aboriginal people. We thank, acknowledge and respect the
abigion people's land that we're gathering on today. Take pleasure
in all the land and respect all that you see.
She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,
(00:40):
bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
She's on the Money. Hello and welcome to She's on
(01:09):
the Money, the podcast that makes personal finance fun, especially
on Fridays. Friday is hands down my favorite day of
the week because as when we get our whole team
together and celebrate you our incredible She's on the Money
Community today, Miss Jesse Gri. She's going to be sharing
some of our favorite community money Wins. Miss besa Ed
is bringing broke tips that may genuinely change your life.
(01:30):
And we're diving into a money dilemma that I think
every single one of us has felt at some point.
Are you actually experiencing lifestyle creep? Or is it just
getting more expensive and you're just being way too hard
on yourself? That one, that's one, That one like, why
does it actually feel like we're spending more than ever
even though you're not being ridiculous, Like, we're not being ridiculous,
(01:52):
let's talk about it. And we also have a DM
that honestly, I think is going to hit a nerve
for a lot of people, not in a bad way,
but maybe also in a bad way. What happens when
you're the one in the relationship making all of the
financial decisions, not because you want to control something, but
because your partner just helps out. Annoying and also just
(02:12):
a little reminder if you also didn't already know, like
these dms are from people sliding into our dms, and
our money dilemma comes because on our website we have
a link where you can leave us voicemails, You can
leave us a little voice notes. Some of you this
is my favorite part of listening to all of the voicemails.
Some people just like are trialing it out on our website.
They're like, hey, She's on the Money, love you, and
(02:34):
then they hang out. You're like prank calling us. But
sometimes people prank call us and leave a full money dilemma.
And that's when you can hear yourself on the show.
So if you didn't know that, that's how you get
on the show, and you definitely should look it up.
So if you ever wanted to hear yourself on the podcast,
my friend, this is a sign, send me a voice note,
tell me what's going on, and you might just hear
yourself on the Friday Drinks episode. Now, before we dive
(02:57):
any deeper, do you know what time it is?
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Star review time?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
It is five star review time. And I love this.
We have an ego, so it does feed that. Now,
this is also a little nudge if you've been thinking, oh,
I probably should leave a five star review for She's
on the Money. Okay, stop thinking, start doing. It's all
about action. People. Actions speak louder than words. You can
leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or honestly, we
take them in any way, shape or form they come,
(03:23):
they have been emailed to us before you can DM
them to us on Instagram, and honestly, I would take
a scribbled piece of paper sent to us on a
carrier pigeon at this point, because we accept all forms
of ego stroking in this house agree. This week's five
star review comes from Sophie, and Sophie says, I heard
the other week that Jess got her whole own review,
(03:43):
so I felt compelled to leave one just for Beck.
Every single week I listened to the pod. She asks
the exact questions I'm thinking but wouldn't have the confidence
to say out loud. She somehow makes finance feel less intimidating,
less overwhelming, less shamey, as though I'm not behind, I'm
just learning with her and that is okay. She explains
(04:06):
things in a way that actually makes sense, and I
always finish episodes feeling a little bit calmer and a
little bit more in control of my money instead of
stressing about it as much as I usually do.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Bec.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
I don't know if you know this, but you are
my comfort person, and I think I speak for a
lot of people in the community. Five stars for Beck.
No notes, Oh my god, that so nice.
Speaker 5 (04:27):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
That is like, isn't that so cute? That is so funny.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
That's like the word I use when I'm at a
house party and someone doesn't know who someone, I'm like,
I want to be a comfort person.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
It's like, it's so thank you. No, it's just a
friend we haven't met yet.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
That is so sweet.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
Was it Sophie. It was Sophie, Sophie.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
I love you. I love Sophie, Thank you so much.
Disappointed she didn't send it via carrier pigeon, but we
will wait another day.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
Nobody's perfect.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Send to my hand next time.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Yeah, exactly clear. Moving on, I'm sorry. Egostroking is done.
It is now time for the part of Friday Drinks
where you guys get to ask us one question that
you are dying to know. It can be literally about anything.
Nothing is off limits, and this week's question came to
us by our Instagram DMS and Chanelle would like to
know what is something that used to feel completely normal
(05:18):
to buy it, but now feels like a bit of
a luxury. These two, very politely both just paused and
like pointed it at each other.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
I'll go I'll take you it. It came to be
straight away immediately it was chips like a bad brock
Deli or a yes, because it used to be that
you could get one on sale, you know, for half price,
for two dollars fifty and now it's like two for five,
right yeah, and now it's literally seven dollars back. And
I just, you know, it's probably quite good for my
(05:51):
health that I'm not consuming as many chips, sous, but
I love a chip, and.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
I feel like they're always on your grocery list.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
I literally never buy them anymore because it's just I
can't justify it is a luxury. Yeah, totally bonkers. Chippies
are a luxury cut out potato. Literally, chippies are a
bit like that.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
That's rude. Potatoes should not be a luxury.
Speaker 5 (06:12):
That is so so true.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
That's not giving Irish famine, is it.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (06:18):
But also there's something about you that looks like someone
who likes the chip, do you know what, Like, there's
some people that look like they and you also look
at condiments on your chips.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
I don't do you don't that's true source on the
side only, Oh.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
My god, it's just like a horoscope. What's mine?
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Okay, oh god, you dabble in an aoli not on,
but you have tomatoes on your hot chips?
Speaker 1 (06:45):
I do?
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Oh yeah. Like if it's tomato sauce, put it all over.
If it's I need a tipp What if it's to garlaki?
Speaker 5 (06:54):
Yes, I see that.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
I see that.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Oh my god, this is crazy, something weird having today?
Speaker 3 (06:59):
God, what's yours?
Speaker 6 (07:00):
Well?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
What came to me first?
Speaker 5 (07:01):
Obviously petrol, even though it's like it does feel like
it's always been a bit of a luxury, but it's
still kind of you didn't feel bad for buying it.
Now I feel bad for buying it. But also Milo,
I just really loved, my mind, I can.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Really buy that anymore. I just realized how much is Milo.
That's not something that I keep in the pantry. But
growing up, yes, that was Milo and ice cream, and
then you mix it really quick until it basically becomes
soft surf. Oh my god, delicious in every form.
Speaker 5 (07:28):
It is so good. Like the smallest when you can
buy I'm pretty sure for memories still like eight.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Or nine dollars, no, yeah, illegal, I.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Think even like the big ones, the ones that were
like probably max thirteen dollars and probably now.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Like twenty No, that's something like I'm going to call
the Prime minister up. It's crazy. I have I have
some clumps.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
I know, it's so sad you talk about this cost
of living crisis.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
I wish things went up and down like petrol. You know,
it's like, okay, it's not expendive anymore, let's put it
back down now. No, anyway, that's how well works, I suppose.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
And uve I was thinking about this when you guys
were talking, and the luxury thing kind of stuck with me,
Like what do I think is a luxury now? Lunch?
Like buying lunch out at work, like it used to
be for me, Like obviously it was always the more
expensive option. You could have always saved money by bringing
a sambo, right, But like in my head, lunch at
(08:27):
work used to be like ten or twelve dollars, Like
I'd walk down and just get some sushi, sushi, two
hand rolls and I'm done, sometimes three sometimes three and
a nice tea, like it just depends how hungry I was.
But like that never cost me more than like twelve bucks.
Why as sandwiches at the deli like twenty five to
twenty nine dollars.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
The costs.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I don't understand. That is not lunch. That is a
dining out experience, Like I just go. I'm still going
to seven to eleven for my sandwich, So that's like
not the luxury but even just popping to the cafe
for lunch, which historically in my head is like, yes,
it's the more expensive lunch option, but now it's like
super premium lucks.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
Yeah, that's so true.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Anyway, that's where I'm at. I hope that answered your question, Chanelle.
And if you've got a question that you want us
to answer on the show, please my friends send it through.
Literally nothing is too niche to random, more arguably too unhinged.
Those are arguably her favorite. Like that's what we want
to hear, all right, miss jesse Garici. Let's get into
the good stuff. What money wins or confessions have the
community had this week?
Speaker 4 (09:29):
All right? Starting off with what Lannie says. It's a
money lost, but in the best type of way. She
said she heard a colleague's friend had a surprise baby,
and she offered them all of their baby stuff, the catchull,
the pram, the cot, the mattress. Probably around six hundred
dollars worth of stuff that she'd purchased secondhand.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
So sweet.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
She said she was beyond happy to one not have
to do with Facebook marketplace and to be able to
help someone out that needs it. And then she said,
maybe this is their money win. I really think what
goes around comes around.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
That.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
I have questions. Did you have surprise baby in that
you fell pregnant by surprise or did you have a
surprise baby because you thought you had an appendicitis and
you went to the hospital and bam, you had a baby.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
I am curious. Let us know, lady, what happened to.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
You, because I've heard those stories.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
They terrify me, very very seriously.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
Next, I've got a money in from Marina, who said
a potentially petty money in arguably my personal favorite.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Yeah, they're my favorite. She said.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
She lives across from an oval and there's a person
who keeps golfing there and balls are landing too close
to her house. A fair few of landed right in
her front yard by the window.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
That's dangerous.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Well, on top of that, one day, this rude man
left all of his balls scattered all across the oval,
so Marina walked over collected them all and sold them
on Facebook marketplace.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Icon and I love that fair icon. You make sure
you take note of that man because if he ever
breaks your window, that's who you're gonna have to go to.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Next, Victoria said, I've been picking meals from Chelsea Goodwin's
book Ten Dollar Meals with Chelsea great money, and the
bonus recipes are super tasty. If you haven't already, Victoria,
we have a great episode with Chelsea. She's fantastic, and
a little ebook on my website as well. Next, I've
got a money win from Kate, who said my biggest
money win is my shift in mindset, the empowerment to
push through debt and see the light. I've been getting
(11:16):
dopamine now from delayed gratification instead of inst I love.
Speaker 5 (11:20):
Well, that's beautiful and I'm.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
A really big fan of that. I think it's amazing.
And then lastly this week I've got a money win
from Mea which you guys might have seen this, but
just in case you haven't, free public transport in Victoria
for April twenty twenty six. That is so good money.
If ever I've heard one God bless God, Bless God,
bless We love that.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
I love that, and I feel like there is literally
nothing better than a community that like hipes each other
up like sorry, we share like little money tips and
tricks with each other each week. So slyh, I love
it all right, Beck, hit us with your broke tips
for the week.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
What have you got so as per, I've got two
from the community. This first one comes from Chloe, who
says instead of doing a full grocery shop every week,
she now does a pantry shop where she has to
build at least three meals using what she's already got
at home before she's allowed to go to the supermarket.
She said it's cut her grocery bill almost in half
because she realized she already had so much random stuff
(12:11):
sitting in the cupboard, which is a great, great, great tip.
I know we've mentioned something similar before where you make
sure you check your pantry we have a home before
you do go grocery shopping, but this is takes it
a step further, I think, which is like, no, I.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Need to find three meals and what am I doing
with these lentils?
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Totally And also a reminder that there are websites you
just have to google. I don't know what they call it,
but listing your ingredients and it will generate a recipe
for you based on what you have at home. So
I yeah, i'd say just google that. I don't think
there's one specific one that I use. The next one
comes from Mia, who says that she started using her
notes app as a running wish list for anything she
(12:47):
wants to buy that isn't essential. She has to leave
it on the list for seven days before she can
actually purchase it.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
That's better than now in twenty four hour rule.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
Yeah, seven days, that's like, that's a lot.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
She said.
Speaker 5 (12:57):
About eighty percent of the time she completely FETs bout
or realize this, she doesn't actually want it, which is
so humbling but also very good for your bank account.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I love it, I do love it, And Beck say ed,
what is your broad tip?
Speaker 5 (13:08):
Okay, so as maybe everyone knows I cannot find a
goddamn job, and I really quickly this is not part
of the broke tip, but I want to quickly mention
that if you.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Want to hire Beck, message back yessually, I've got her details.
I've got a Beck for sale. How much, thank you
so much, thank you so much.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
I should say it's not because I'm a bad workouts
because unfortunately it's hard to.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Get a job right now in the job marketing, so cruent.
I think a lot of people listening to this are
going to be like, ah, yes, queen, we see you.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
Seriously, I cannot find a job anyway, But I decided
that I would rather just be broke than broke and
feel shame as well. So I am broke, but not shameful. Anyway.
I was talking to my friend who works in family violence,
who said that there is something called PRAP Private Rental
Assistance Program and basically this form is I'm going to
read out the form. This form is used to apply
(13:56):
for funding when you have been approved for a property
and need help with the first month's rent, or when
you are behind in your rent. Before applying, you need
some documents for too id income, all this kind of stuff,
but basically you don't need In my mind, you need
to be on sendling. But I don't think you need
to be on sendling for this one. You just need
to be that's cool in a position where you are
just struggling to pay your bills and need some help.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
So have a little Google.
Speaker 5 (14:21):
It's Unison PRP Private rental assistance program.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
If you are struggling, that's amazing. There are so many
good things in this world.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
I know.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
Isn't that incredible?
Speaker 1 (14:31):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
All Right, let's take a really quick break. But when
we come back, I am diving straight into this week's
money dilemma because I have a feeling it's going to
be very, very relatable.
Speaker 4 (14:43):
Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
money dilemma.
Speaker 6 (14:48):
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
can't solve? The Sheese on the Money team is here
to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big
and small, to answer your most burning money, career and
life I questions. To get involved, simply head to our
website and leave us a short voice recording and you
might just find yourself on the show.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma. Hey,
she'sing the money.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I have a quick question just regarding a lifestyle creep
and every day spending. So how do you know the
difference between a lifestyle creep and just everyday expenses increasing?
For example, I feel like I'm spending a lot more
money now than I was three years ago, but I'm
(15:35):
not spending money on unnecessary things. It's just more groceries
have increased, fuel is increased, and I have a few
more bills to pay than I did three years ago.
With of some help on how to navigate that and
not feel so guilty for spending more money just on
everyday life.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
And discuss I think that exactly what you say is
how you determine lifestyle creep refers specifically to not necessarily
spending more money, but spending more money on a more
luxurious lifestyle is the best fact can explain it. So
the example of Victoria always gives that I think is
a really great one. Is you know, when you're on
a lower income, you might have been purchasing your makeup
(16:17):
at the grocery store, like a Woolies or Coals, and
then you earn a bit more money, you've graduated to
like a price line or a camast warehouse, and then
once you earn a bit more money than that, you're
shopping it like your Mecca and your Sophora. And so
it's like you're buying the same products, but you're buying
more expensive versions of those products. And I think it's
particularly relevant if the product is not servicing you in
the same way. So like graduating from you know, a
(16:41):
home brand flower to a name brand flower, it's the
same thing. It's doing the same job. I think it's
a little bit different if you're looking at two things
and I'm trying to think of an example, like two
things that are different, but the more expensive.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
One jams tim jams have gone up. That's not lifestyle creep.
You still deserve your tymtams, but they're taking them. Absolutely, Niki, Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
I think like you can sometimes upgrading to a more
expensive thing it might work better. Like I'm thinking about
maybe an appliance from a Kmar. Like a lot of
my appliances that I bought when I was young from
Camar would break within twelve months.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Yeah, so I think buy it was buy it right.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
Yeah, So I think investing in a more expensive version,
I would not personally always consider that lifestyle creep. If
you're investing in a higher quality will last you longer.
But I think it's really about spending more on luxury items.
If the things you're already buying are increasing in price,
that's actually out of your control and it's almost like
reverse lifestyle creep. I feel like when you go, Okay,
well I have to cut those things because you mean,
(17:38):
like I don't buy chips anymore, and so it's like, well,
to me, it's like I'm moving backwards almost in terms
of the lifestyle creep in that aspect. In terms of
the guilt, I think you just need to give yourself grace,
like we're all doing the best we can. If the
things you buy regularly are getting more expensive, there's not
much you can do about that other than considering whether
or not there are things you can swap out. You know,
my red Rock Delli chips became the cold brands, and
(18:00):
you know, then it became what we only buy those
every so often that it's hard to feel like you're
just keeping yourself afloat. And I get that, but also
I think with everything that's going on at the moment,
we do sometimes just have to be kind to ourselves.
And you know, if you haven't already reviewed your budget,
make sure everything's in order that if you're doing the
best you can. Like that is completely okay.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
Yeah, I completely agree with you. And I have one
friend in particular who is always really hard on myself
because she's saying, I'm just spending so much money. I'm
just like buying silly things, and like, no, there's a
point where like the world is getting more expensive. You're
making the same money, things are just more expensive. Unfortunately
ND have as much left over at the end of
the month or at the end very pay cycle. So yeah,
(18:45):
it's sounding very much like not lifestyle creep and very
much like the world is getting more expensive. So I
think go easy on yourself, be kind to yourself exactly.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
You said, you're clearly quite self aware, like you're asking
this question and you're probably feeling bad about it because
money is hard at the moment, but economically, wage growth
is not keeping up with inflation. Like at the end
of the day, stuff is getting more expensive and we're
not getting paid more. Like that is the crux of
the whole story, and that is really trashy, Like that
(19:18):
doesn't feel good. And you know what, you haven't come
this far and you know gotten to this part in life.
You know, Chips is a great example. You're like, hold on,
hold on, where's the line? Because you have a good job,
you put in the same time, energy and effort, and
you're trying really hard and all of that other stuff
but you're like, stuff is just so expensive. So I
now feel like I'm not even living the same life
(19:40):
as I was before, but I'm maybe even putting in
more effort now or saving better or investing better, but
I still can't afford. Chibbi's like, what the hell is
going on? So I think, yes, lifestyle creep is something
to be aware of. And as you said, just my
favorite example is makeup. But not is that it's lifestyle creep.
(20:02):
Is not your life inflating. So I mean, if rent
is the problem, yes, that's not your fault. But I
mean if you've just upgraded to a three bedroom house
and you're a single dude, like, that's probably a different story.
That maybe is lifestyle creep. And then you just need
to look at it between the discretionary items that you're
purchasing and the essentials, and that's probably where your answer is.
(20:24):
All right, let's slide on into our own DMS this week.
You guys have been sending through some very juicy situations
and this one is absolutely no exception. Hey, she's on
the money. I hope you guys are doing well. I've
got a dilemma. I really need your advice on money
decisions in my marriage. I've heard on the podcast about
couples where one person makes all the money decisions without
(20:45):
consulting the other, and honestly, that's me. My husband doesn't
really have financial goals and isn't interested in looking at
the budget, so I end up taking it all on.
Do you guys have any tips for getting him more
involved and helping me feel less guilty about being the
one that makes all the decisions.
Speaker 5 (21:04):
Guilty, I'm thinking at the start of this, I was like,
do you feel do you feel overloaded? Do you feel
like you're taking on all the mental load?
Speaker 3 (21:13):
It's great?
Speaker 5 (21:14):
Do you feel angry? I would feel angry, but I
am hearing guilty at the end, and I.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
That see that resonated with me because, like on the
flip side, it's not how my relationship works. But I'm like,
so taype Ai, so like my way or the highway.
Sometimes that I'm like, oh, Steve, we want to do this,
and then I'm like, oh, I feel guilty. I've made
that decision without consulting him. This wasn't a partnership, Like
(21:41):
I need to backtrack, and that's why I feel guilty.
So when I heard her say Oh, basically, my husband's
letting me do all this stuff, and I feel kind
of guilty because whenever I try to get him involved,
he doesn't want to be involved.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
I wish there was a world where men thought this
when they're partners. I'm being very, very stereotypical here, but
when they're generally female partners, staying home with the kids
and not having any super all of these things, guilt
should be applied then in that situation, I would think.
But if like your husband, he's I'm sure he's got
a job, he's probably not sacrificing a whole ten twenty
(22:14):
years of his entire life where he could be making
money to take care of your shared children. I just
don't They shouldn't be a guilt, shouldn'tel bad about it
if he wants to be involved, If you're like keeping
him in the loop and in no way he's like
financially compromised, or he could be in a really bad
place in the future because of I guess, like not
(22:36):
really being open to or into or like part of
the financial decisions that you're making, then feel bad. But
I think if he's like chillin' he's got a job,
you're both working. You're both like, maybe I'm being too pessimistic,
but I'm like, I don't think it matters too much
unless one party is going to be very obviously financially
Like what's the word I'm looking for, impacted in the
(22:57):
future in like a negative way. I think it's so
fun unless you're tired of carrying the mental load, and
then you should not feel guilty angry.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
That's a different story, different story. That's a different story. Yes, yeah,
I agree.
Speaker 4 (23:08):
I think the key thing for me in that message
was that you said that he doesn't care to be
involved or he's not really interested. So I think you
that should absolve you of any guilt, Like if he's
not wanting to participate and you're going, okay, well one
of us has got to do it. I guess it's
going to be me. Good on you, queen, like, don't
feel bad about that. To Echobeck sentiment, I think that
it depends on how you feel. Like some people like
(23:30):
Victoria are really happy to take that load on. For others,
I think it's to me. Yeah, I think the load
might not be something you want to carry. It might
be something you at least want some interesting in which
case I think you should raise that with him. It's
very relevant. You're his partner, not his parent. It is
a partnership, and sometimes we have to do things you
don't like. I don't like going to the grocery store.
Do I do it? Sometimes? Absolutely? So it's like one
of those things. But I think if you are wanting
(23:51):
to raise the conversation, my advice would be sit him
down and kind of explain, you know, explain you feeling guilty.
I think that's important because I would never want my
partner to be feeling guilty about something because of a
choice that I've made, So I think that probably would
be quite impactful. And then explain like I'm packing a
little bit, Explain why I say I feel like I'm
making decisions without you, or I'm feeling stressed because I'm
(24:13):
carrying all of this by myself. Your partner theoretically like
loves you and they want you. Theoretically, Yeah, well, I
know I goes sweepy shabit, but you know, I mean
like you're together because you love each other and you
want to make each other's lives easier and you want
to build a great future together. If your goal oriented
and he's not that is okay, but you still need
to find a middle ground where you don't feel like
(24:34):
you're doing it all by yourself.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree. I don't have a lot
to add here because, as I said before, oh I
resonate with that, And historically what I've done is be like, hey, Steve,
I feel like I'm making all the decisions here, like
did you have anything to add, Like what are you thinking?
And most of the time, when it's about stuff like that,
he's like, oh, I don't care, and I'll be like, yeah,
(24:56):
but surely you care. He's like no, no, no, like
I think you're making good decisions, like I don't need
to get involved.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Like you should care because yeah, it packs you care more.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
And then I'm annoyed when he does care too much,
and I'm like, but I didn't want him pink, I
wanted it in blue. What are you talking about? Imagine?
But literally like I would as you said, yes, you're
absolved of any guilt if he doesn't want to be
involved and you've been like, hey, what's going on? And
then t Beck's comment, but do you feel anger because
that's different than guilt.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
And it's also valid, yes, very valid, Yes, but what
don't everybody else say?
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Oh my goodness. So first things first, I asked them
a few questions. First question was, how do you split
money management in your relationship. Fifty seven percent of you
said fifty to fifty. I love this, that's not very
nineteen fifties of us, thirty nine percent said I manage everything.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
That's a big amount.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
That's a big amount, and four percent said, my partner
manages everything.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
I feel like that tracks because the people who are
listening to this show.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Would be the people. Yeah, the people in our community
you care about money. I can't imagine people who are like,
I don't want anything to do with the family finances
is going to go you know what I'm going to
listen to.
Speaker 5 (26:06):
Yeah, they're the people I want to get. So that's true.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I'll work out a way. The next question I asked
was have you ever had to speak to your partner
about sharing the mental load when it comes to finances.
Thirty percent of you said yes, I have and it
went well. Twenty nine percent of you said I haven't good,
have gone better? And forty two percent of you, again,
I think this is reflective of our community, said thankfully,
I haven't.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
Yeah, that was a way better split than I thought
it would be.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
To be honest, Then, as always, we said community, what
is your two cents? First person says, my hubby's more
focused on an end goal how we get there. He
couldn't give two hoots, which is fair.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
If that's how you guys want to split things and
everybody's happy, that's not totally fine exactly.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
He's just like, babe, I'm happy to strap in. You
said that we're going here, you can drive. Thanks. Next
person said, honestly, I'd take it as a blessing that
you are the one in control. No arguing, no deceit,
just trusting your own instincts. Yeah, I think that's cute,
But I also want my husband to have an opinion.
Maybe I don't. Maybe I need to revisit this. Yeah,
maybe I want a whole new relationship dynamic.
Speaker 5 (27:11):
We gonna say relationship, Okay, not at this point.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Not at this point. Next person said, I really wouldn't
date someone, let alone marry someone who didn't want to
share my financial goals. Another person said they need a
He's on the Money podcast for this fellow who won't
pick up a book just because it's.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
Pink, doesn't mean he can't listen, That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Well, we have a lot of men in our community,
and I appreciate them, but they're allowed here because they
are our people, you know. Another person said, the person
or the people in the coupling that are more financially
in that mindset should be the one taking lead.
Speaker 5 (27:47):
Sure, sure lift each other agrees.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
Someone else said, I told my husband that he needs
to know where our money goes so he knows I'm
not embezzling our family.
Speaker 4 (27:55):
That's hilarious.
Speaker 5 (27:55):
I feel like that would be me.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Please sit down, because I don't want you to think
I'm stealing money from this household. Another person said, if
he wants his spending budget, he can be involved in
the budget. Yeah, she's withholding it. She's like, if you're
not involved in the budget, you get no budget.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
I don't hate that.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Take men who have to advocate for themselves.
Speaker 5 (28:18):
What manas God spending it on? Just sorry.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Another person said, we make the decisions together, and then
I just manage the whole thing because I'm controlling.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
I love you.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
And then someone else said, and this is going to
be the last one that I share, said, my partner
actually has ADHD. Trying to get him to pay a
bill when it comes to it is near impossible. So
I just take the lead and that's just how our
relationship works. Well, okay, I think that one's a good
one as well, because there are reasons why people might
not want to be super involved. Totally don't involve just
(28:50):
being like, oh, I'm scared of money or I don't
want to talk about our finances. They're like, baby, if
you give me the responsibility, that's terrible, Like I won't
do it, will be in more of a financial pickle,
and then yeah, you can work it out from there.
Speaker 4 (29:03):
Right, Every partnership is different. It's about finding what works
for you and making sure that you don't feel bad
about it. There's nothing wrong with your dynamic except for
the fact that you're feeling guilt.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Yes, exactly, and we don't want to do that. So
hopefully this has helped a little bit solve that. But
as no surprise to anybody, the key to this is communication.
Crazy All right, my friends, that is all we have
time for today. As always, thank you so much for
being a part of our beautiful community, whether you're listening
on your walk or in your car or you're pretending
to work. We do really appreciate you. Have the best weekend,
(29:35):
look after yourselves, and we will see you bright and
early on Monday morning for a brand new money diary.
Speaker 5 (29:40):
Bye guys, Bye bye.
Speaker 6 (29:48):
The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
not be relied upon to make an investment financial decision.
If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Tailored towards your needs.
Speaker 6 (30:09):
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(00:20):
water Nadaa. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather on the lands
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She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,
(00:40):
bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
She's on the Money.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
She's on the Money. Hello and welcome to She's on
(01:09):
the Money, the podcast that makes personal finance fun, especially
on Fridays. Friday is hands down my favorite day of
the week because as when we get our whole team
together and celebrate you our incredible She's on the Money
Community today, Miss Jesse Gri. She's going to be sharing
some of our favorite community money Wins. Miss besa Ed
is bringing broke tips that may genuinely change your life.
(01:30):
And we're diving into a money dilemma that I think
every single one of us has felt at some point.
Are you actually experiencing lifestyle creep? Or is it just
getting more expensive and you're just being way too hard
on yourself? That one, that's one, That one like, why
does it actually feel like we're spending more than ever
even though you're not being ridiculous, Like, we're not being ridiculous,
(01:52):
let's talk about it. And we also have a DM
that honestly, I think is going to hit a nerve
for a lot of people, not in a bad way,
but maybe also in a bad way. What happens when
you're the one in the relationship making all of the
financial decisions, not because you want to control something, but
because your partner just helps out. Annoying and also just
(02:12):
a little reminder if you also didn't already know, like
these dms are from people sliding into our dms, and
our money dilemma comes because on our website we have
a link where you can leave us voicemails, You can
leave us a little voice notes. Some of you this
is my favorite part of listening to all of the voicemails.
Some people just like are trialing it out on our website.
They're like, hey, She's on the Money, love you, and
(02:34):
then they hang out. You're like prank calling us. But
sometimes people prank call us and leave a full money dilemma.
And that's when you can hear yourself on the show.
So if you didn't know that, that's how you get
on the show, and you definitely should look it up.
So if you ever wanted to hear yourself on the podcast,
my friend, this is a sign, send me a voice note,
tell me what's going on, and you might just hear
yourself on the Friday Drinks episode. Now, before we dive
(02:57):
any deeper, do you know what time it is?
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Star review time?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
It is five star review time. And I love this.
We have an ego, so it does feed that. Now,
this is also a little nudge if you've been thinking, oh,
I probably should leave a five star review for She's
on the Money. Okay, stop thinking, start doing. It's all
about action. People. Actions speak louder than words. You can
leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or honestly, we
take them in any way, shape or form they come,
(03:23):
they have been emailed to us before you can DM
them to us on Instagram, and honestly, I would take
a scribbled piece of paper sent to us on a
carrier pigeon at this point, because we accept all forms
of ego stroking in this house agree. This week's five
star review comes from Sophie, and Sophie says, I heard
the other week that Jess got her whole own review,
(03:43):
so I felt compelled to leave one just for Beck.
Every single week I listened to the pod. She asks
the exact questions I'm thinking but wouldn't have the confidence
to say out loud. She somehow makes finance feel less intimidating,
less overwhelming, less shamey, as though I'm not behind, I'm
just learning with her and that is okay. She explains
(04:06):
things in a way that actually makes sense, and I
always finish episodes feeling a little bit calmer and a
little bit more in control of my money instead of
stressing about it as much as I usually do.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Bec.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
I don't know if you know this, but you are
my comfort person, and I think I speak for a
lot of people in the community. Five stars for Beck.
No notes, Oh my god, that so nice.
Speaker 5 (04:27):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
That is like, isn't that so cute? That is so funny.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
That's like the word I use when I'm at a
house party and someone doesn't know who someone, I'm like,
I want to be a comfort person.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
It's like, it's so thank you. No, it's just a
friend we haven't met yet.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
That is so sweet.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
Was it Sophie. It was Sophie, Sophie.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
I love you. I love Sophie, Thank you so much.
Disappointed she didn't send it via carrier pigeon, but we
will wait another day.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
Nobody's perfect.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
Send to my hand next time.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Yeah, exactly clear. Moving on, I'm sorry. Egostroking is done.
It is now time for the part of Friday Drinks
where you guys get to ask us one question that
you are dying to know. It can be literally about anything.
Nothing is off limits, and this week's question came to
us by our Instagram DMS and Chanelle would like to
know what is something that used to feel completely normal
(05:18):
to buy it, but now feels like a bit of
a luxury. These two, very politely both just paused and
like pointed it at each other.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
I'll go I'll take you it. It came to be
straight away immediately it was chips like a bad brock
Deli or a yes, because it used to be that
you could get one on sale, you know, for half price,
for two dollars fifty and now it's like two for five,
right yeah, and now it's literally seven dollars back. And
I just, you know, it's probably quite good for my
(05:51):
health that I'm not consuming as many chips, sous, but
I love a chip, and.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
I feel like they're always on your grocery list.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
I literally never buy them anymore because it's just I
can't justify it is a luxury. Yeah, totally bonkers. Chippies
are a luxury cut out potato. Literally, chippies are a
bit like that.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
That's rude. Potatoes should not be a luxury.
Speaker 5 (06:12):
That is so so true.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
That's not giving Irish famine, is it.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (06:18):
But also there's something about you that looks like someone
who likes the chip, do you know what, Like, there's
some people that look like they and you also look
at condiments on your chips.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
I don't do you don't that's true source on the
side only, Oh.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
My god, it's just like a horoscope. What's mine?
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Okay, oh god, you dabble in an aoli not on,
but you have tomatoes on your hot chips?
Speaker 1 (06:45):
I do?
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Oh yeah. Like if it's tomato sauce, put it all over.
If it's I need a tipp What if it's to garlaki?
Speaker 5 (06:54):
Yes, I see that.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
I see that.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Oh my god, this is crazy, something weird having today?
Speaker 3 (06:59):
God, what's yours?
Speaker 6 (07:00):
Well?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
What came to me first?
Speaker 5 (07:01):
Obviously petrol, even though it's like it does feel like
it's always been a bit of a luxury, but it's
still kind of you didn't feel bad for buying it.
Now I feel bad for buying it. But also Milo,
I just really loved, my mind, I can.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Really buy that anymore. I just realized how much is Milo.
That's not something that I keep in the pantry. But
growing up, yes, that was Milo and ice cream, and
then you mix it really quick until it basically becomes
soft surf. Oh my god, delicious in every form.
Speaker 5 (07:28):
It is so good. Like the smallest when you can
buy I'm pretty sure for memories still like eight.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Or nine dollars, no, yeah, illegal, I.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Think even like the big ones, the ones that were
like probably max thirteen dollars and probably now.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Like twenty No, that's something like I'm going to call
the Prime minister up. It's crazy. I have I have
some clumps.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
I know, it's so sad you talk about this cost
of living crisis.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
I wish things went up and down like petrol. You know,
it's like, okay, it's not expendive anymore, let's put it
back down now. No, anyway, that's how well works, I suppose.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
And uve I was thinking about this when you guys
were talking, and the luxury thing kind of stuck with me,
Like what do I think is a luxury now? Lunch?
Like buying lunch out at work, like it used to
be for me, Like obviously it was always the more
expensive option. You could have always saved money by bringing
a sambo, right, But like in my head, lunch at
(08:27):
work used to be like ten or twelve dollars, Like
I'd walk down and just get some sushi, sushi, two
hand rolls and I'm done, sometimes three sometimes three and
a nice tea, like it just depends how hungry I was.
But like that never cost me more than like twelve bucks.
Why as sandwiches at the deli like twenty five to
twenty nine dollars.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
The costs.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I don't understand. That is not lunch. That is a
dining out experience, Like I just go. I'm still going
to seven to eleven for my sandwich, So that's like
not the luxury but even just popping to the cafe
for lunch, which historically in my head is like, yes,
it's the more expensive lunch option, but now it's like
super premium lucks.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
Yeah, that's so true.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Anyway, that's where I'm at. I hope that answered your question, Chanelle.
And if you've got a question that you want us
to answer on the show, please my friends send it through.
Literally nothing is too niche to random, more arguably too unhinged.
Those are arguably her favorite. Like that's what we want
to hear, all right, miss jesse Garici. Let's get into
the good stuff. What money wins or confessions have the
community had this week?
Speaker 4 (09:29):
All right? Starting off with what Lannie says. It's a
money lost, but in the best type of way. She
said she heard a colleague's friend had a surprise baby,
and she offered them all of their baby stuff, the catchull,
the pram, the cot, the mattress. Probably around six hundred
dollars worth of stuff that she'd purchased secondhand.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
So sweet.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
She said she was beyond happy to one not have
to do with Facebook marketplace and to be able to
help someone out that needs it. And then she said,
maybe this is their money win. I really think what
goes around comes around.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
That.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
I have questions. Did you have surprise baby in that
you fell pregnant by surprise or did you have a
surprise baby because you thought you had an appendicitis and
you went to the hospital and bam, you had a baby.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
I am curious. Let us know, lady, what happened to.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
You, because I've heard those stories.
Speaker 5 (10:14):
They terrify me, very very seriously.
Speaker 4 (10:17):
Next, I've got a money in from Marina, who said
a potentially petty money in arguably my personal favorite.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Yeah, they're my favorite. She said.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
She lives across from an oval and there's a person
who keeps golfing there and balls are landing too close
to her house. A fair few of landed right in
her front yard by the window.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
That's dangerous.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Well, on top of that, one day, this rude man
left all of his balls scattered all across the oval,
so Marina walked over collected them all and sold them
on Facebook marketplace.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Icon and I love that fair icon. You make sure
you take note of that man because if he ever
breaks your window, that's who you're gonna have to go to.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Next, Victoria said, I've been picking meals from Chelsea Goodwin's
book Ten Dollar Meals with Chelsea great money, and the
bonus recipes are super tasty. If you haven't already, Victoria,
we have a great episode with Chelsea. She's fantastic, and
a little ebook on my website as well. Next, I've
got a money win from Kate, who said my biggest
money win is my shift in mindset, the empowerment to
push through debt and see the light. I've been getting
(11:16):
dopamine now from delayed gratification instead of inst I love.
Speaker 5 (11:20):
Well, that's beautiful and I'm.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
A really big fan of that. I think it's amazing.
And then lastly this week I've got a money win
from Mea which you guys might have seen this, but
just in case you haven't, free public transport in Victoria
for April twenty twenty six. That is so good money.
If ever I've heard one God bless God, Bless God,
bless We love that.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
I love that, and I feel like there is literally
nothing better than a community that like hipes each other
up like sorry, we share like little money tips and
tricks with each other each week. So slyh, I love
it all right, Beck, hit us with your broke tips
for the week.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
What have you got so as per, I've got two
from the community. This first one comes from Chloe, who
says instead of doing a full grocery shop every week,
she now does a pantry shop where she has to
build at least three meals using what she's already got
at home before she's allowed to go to the supermarket.
She said it's cut her grocery bill almost in half
because she realized she already had so much random stuff
(12:11):
sitting in the cupboard, which is a great, great, great tip.
I know we've mentioned something similar before where you make
sure you check your pantry we have a home before
you do go grocery shopping, but this is takes it
a step further, I think, which is like, no, I.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Need to find three meals and what am I doing
with these lentils?
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Totally And also a reminder that there are websites you
just have to google. I don't know what they call it,
but listing your ingredients and it will generate a recipe
for you based on what you have at home. So
I yeah, i'd say just google that. I don't think
there's one specific one that I use. The next one
comes from Mia, who says that she started using her
notes app as a running wish list for anything she
(12:47):
wants to buy that isn't essential. She has to leave
it on the list for seven days before she can
actually purchase it.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
That's better than now in twenty four hour rule.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
Yeah, seven days, that's like, that's a lot.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
She said.
Speaker 5 (12:57):
About eighty percent of the time she completely FETs bout
or realize this, she doesn't actually want it, which is
so humbling but also very good for your bank account.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I love it, I do love it, And Beck say ed,
what is your broad tip?
Speaker 5 (13:08):
Okay, so as maybe everyone knows I cannot find a
goddamn job, and I really quickly this is not part
of the broke tip, but I want to quickly mention
that if you.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Want to hire Beck, message back yessually, I've got her details.
I've got a Beck for sale. How much, thank you
so much, thank you so much.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
I should say it's not because I'm a bad workouts
because unfortunately it's hard to.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Get a job right now in the job marketing, so cruent.
I think a lot of people listening to this are
going to be like, ah, yes, queen, we see you.
Speaker 5 (13:35):
Seriously, I cannot find a job anyway, But I decided
that I would rather just be broke than broke and
feel shame as well. So I am broke, but not shameful. Anyway.
I was talking to my friend who works in family violence,
who said that there is something called PRAP Private Rental
Assistance Program and basically this form is I'm going to
read out the form. This form is used to apply
(13:56):
for funding when you have been approved for a property
and need help with the first month's rent, or when
you are behind in your rent. Before applying, you need
some documents for too id income, all this kind of stuff,
but basically you don't need In my mind, you need
to be on sendling. But I don't think you need
to be on sendling for this one. You just need
to be that's cool in a position where you are
just struggling to pay your bills and need some help.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
So have a little Google.
Speaker 5 (14:21):
It's Unison PRP Private rental assistance program.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
If you are struggling, that's amazing. There are so many
good things in this world.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
I know.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
Isn't that incredible?
Speaker 1 (14:31):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
All Right, let's take a really quick break. But when
we come back, I am diving straight into this week's
money dilemma because I have a feeling it's going to
be very, very relatable.
Speaker 4 (14:43):
Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
money dilemma.
Speaker 6 (14:48):
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
can't solve? The Sheese on the Money team is here
to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big
and small, to answer your most burning money, career and
life I questions. To get involved, simply head to our
website and leave us a short voice recording and you
might just find yourself on the show.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma. Hey,
she'sing the money.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I have a quick question just regarding a lifestyle creep
and every day spending. So how do you know the
difference between a lifestyle creep and just everyday expenses increasing?
For example, I feel like I'm spending a lot more
money now than I was three years ago, but I'm
(15:35):
not spending money on unnecessary things. It's just more groceries
have increased, fuel is increased, and I have a few
more bills to pay than I did three years ago.
With of some help on how to navigate that and
not feel so guilty for spending more money just on
everyday life.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
And discuss I think that exactly what you say is
how you determine lifestyle creep refers specifically to not necessarily
spending more money, but spending more money on a more
luxurious lifestyle is the best fact can explain it. So
the example of Victoria always gives that I think is
a really great one. Is you know, when you're on
a lower income, you might have been purchasing your makeup
(16:17):
at the grocery store, like a Woolies or Coals, and
then you earn a bit more money, you've graduated to
like a price line or a camast warehouse, and then
once you earn a bit more money than that, you're
shopping it like your Mecca and your Sophora. And so
it's like you're buying the same products, but you're buying
more expensive versions of those products. And I think it's
particularly relevant if the product is not servicing you in
the same way. So like graduating from you know, a
(16:41):
home brand flower to a name brand flower, it's the
same thing. It's doing the same job. I think it's
a little bit different if you're looking at two things
and I'm trying to think of an example, like two
things that are different, but the more expensive.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
One jams tim jams have gone up. That's not lifestyle creep.
You still deserve your tymtams, but they're taking them. Absolutely, Niki, Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (17:01):
I think like you can sometimes upgrading to a more
expensive thing it might work better. Like I'm thinking about
maybe an appliance from a Kmar. Like a lot of
my appliances that I bought when I was young from
Camar would break within twelve months.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Yeah, so I think buy it was buy it right.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
Yeah, So I think investing in a more expensive version,
I would not personally always consider that lifestyle creep. If
you're investing in a higher quality will last you longer.
But I think it's really about spending more on luxury items.
If the things you're already buying are increasing in price,
that's actually out of your control and it's almost like
reverse lifestyle creep. I feel like when you go, Okay,
well I have to cut those things because you mean,
(17:38):
like I don't buy chips anymore, and so it's like, well,
to me, it's like I'm moving backwards almost in terms
of the lifestyle creep in that aspect. In terms of
the guilt, I think you just need to give yourself grace,
like we're all doing the best we can. If the
things you buy regularly are getting more expensive, there's not
much you can do about that other than considering whether
or not there are things you can swap out. You know,
my red Rock Delli chips became the cold brands, and
(18:00):
you know, then it became what we only buy those
every so often that it's hard to feel like you're
just keeping yourself afloat. And I get that, but also
I think with everything that's going on at the moment,
we do sometimes just have to be kind to ourselves.
And you know, if you haven't already reviewed your budget,
make sure everything's in order that if you're doing the
best you can. Like that is completely okay.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
Yeah, I completely agree with you. And I have one
friend in particular who is always really hard on myself
because she's saying, I'm just spending so much money. I'm
just like buying silly things, and like, no, there's a
point where like the world is getting more expensive. You're
making the same money, things are just more expensive. Unfortunately
ND have as much left over at the end of
the month or at the end very pay cycle. So yeah,
(18:45):
it's sounding very much like not lifestyle creep and very
much like the world is getting more expensive. So I
think go easy on yourself, be kind to yourself exactly.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
You said, you're clearly quite self aware, like you're asking
this question and you're probably feeling bad about it because
money is hard at the moment, but economically, wage growth
is not keeping up with inflation. Like at the end
of the day, stuff is getting more expensive and we're
not getting paid more. Like that is the crux of
the whole story, and that is really trashy, Like that
(19:18):
doesn't feel good. And you know what, you haven't come
this far and you know gotten to this part in life.
You know, Chips is a great example. You're like, hold on,
hold on, where's the line? Because you have a good job,
you put in the same time, energy and effort, and
you're trying really hard and all of that other stuff
but you're like, stuff is just so expensive. So I
now feel like I'm not even living the same life
(19:40):
as I was before, but I'm maybe even putting in
more effort now or saving better or investing better, but
I still can't afford. Chibbi's like, what the hell is
going on? So I think, yes, lifestyle creep is something
to be aware of. And as you said, just my
favorite example is makeup. But not is that it's lifestyle creep.
(20:02):
Is not your life inflating. So I mean, if rent
is the problem, yes, that's not your fault. But I
mean if you've just upgraded to a three bedroom house
and you're a single dude, like, that's probably a different story.
That maybe is lifestyle creep. And then you just need
to look at it between the discretionary items that you're
purchasing and the essentials, and that's probably where your answer is.
(20:24):
All right, let's slide on into our own DMS this week.
You guys have been sending through some very juicy situations
and this one is absolutely no exception. Hey, she's on
the money. I hope you guys are doing well. I've
got a dilemma. I really need your advice on money
decisions in my marriage. I've heard on the podcast about
couples where one person makes all the money decisions without
(20:45):
consulting the other, and honestly, that's me. My husband doesn't
really have financial goals and isn't interested in looking at
the budget, so I end up taking it all on.
Do you guys have any tips for getting him more
involved and helping me feel less guilty about being the
one that makes all the decisions.
Speaker 5 (21:04):
Guilty, I'm thinking at the start of this, I was like,
do you feel do you feel overloaded? Do you feel
like you're taking on all the mental load?
Speaker 3 (21:13):
It's great?
Speaker 5 (21:14):
Do you feel angry? I would feel angry, but I
am hearing guilty at the end, and I.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
That see that resonated with me because, like on the
flip side, it's not how my relationship works. But I'm like,
so taype Ai, so like my way or the highway.
Sometimes that I'm like, oh, Steve, we want to do this,
and then I'm like, oh, I feel guilty. I've made
that decision without consulting him. This wasn't a partnership, Like
(21:41):
I need to backtrack, and that's why I feel guilty.
So when I heard her say Oh, basically, my husband's
letting me do all this stuff, and I feel kind
of guilty because whenever I try to get him involved,
he doesn't want to be involved.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
I wish there was a world where men thought this
when they're partners. I'm being very, very stereotypical here, but
when they're generally female partners, staying home with the kids
and not having any super all of these things, guilt
should be applied then in that situation, I would think.
But if like your husband, he's I'm sure he's got
a job, he's probably not sacrificing a whole ten twenty
(22:14):
years of his entire life where he could be making
money to take care of your shared children. I just
don't They shouldn't be a guilt, shouldn'tel bad about it
if he wants to be involved, If you're like keeping
him in the loop and in no way he's like
financially compromised, or he could be in a really bad
place in the future because of I guess, like not
(22:36):
really being open to or into or like part of
the financial decisions that you're making, then feel bad. But
I think if he's like chillin' he's got a job,
you're both working. You're both like, maybe I'm being too pessimistic,
but I'm like, I don't think it matters too much
unless one party is going to be very obviously financially
Like what's the word I'm looking for, impacted in the
(22:57):
future in like a negative way. I think it's so
fun unless you're tired of carrying the mental load, and
then you should not feel guilty angry.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
That's a different story, different story. That's a different story. Yes, yeah,
I agree.
Speaker 4 (23:08):
I think the key thing for me in that message
was that you said that he doesn't care to be
involved or he's not really interested. So I think you
that should absolve you of any guilt, Like if he's
not wanting to participate and you're going, okay, well one
of us has got to do it. I guess it's
going to be me. Good on you, queen, like, don't
feel bad about that. To Echobeck sentiment, I think that
it depends on how you feel. Like some people like
(23:30):
Victoria are really happy to take that load on. For others,
I think it's to me. Yeah, I think the load
might not be something you want to carry. It might
be something you at least want some interesting in which
case I think you should raise that with him. It's
very relevant. You're his partner, not his parent. It is
a partnership, and sometimes we have to do things you
don't like. I don't like going to the grocery store.
Do I do it? Sometimes? Absolutely? So it's like one
of those things. But I think if you are wanting
(23:51):
to raise the conversation, my advice would be sit him
down and kind of explain, you know, explain you feeling guilty.
I think that's important because I would never want my
partner to be feeling guilty about something because of a
choice that I've made, So I think that probably would
be quite impactful. And then explain like I'm packing a
little bit, Explain why I say I feel like I'm
making decisions without you, or I'm feeling stressed because I'm
(24:13):
carrying all of this by myself. Your partner theoretically like
loves you and they want you. Theoretically, Yeah, well, I
know I goes sweepy shabit, but you know, I mean
like you're together because you love each other and you
want to make each other's lives easier and you want
to build a great future together. If your goal oriented
and he's not that is okay, but you still need
to find a middle ground where you don't feel like
(24:34):
you're doing it all by yourself.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree. I don't have a lot
to add here because, as I said before, oh I
resonate with that, And historically what I've done is be like, hey, Steve,
I feel like I'm making all the decisions here, like
did you have anything to add, Like what are you thinking?
And most of the time, when it's about stuff like that,
he's like, oh, I don't care, and I'll be like, yeah,
(24:56):
but surely you care. He's like no, no, no, like
I think you're making good decisions, like I don't need
to get involved.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Like you should care because yeah, it packs you care more.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
And then I'm annoyed when he does care too much,
and I'm like, but I didn't want him pink, I
wanted it in blue. What are you talking about? Imagine?
But literally like I would as you said, yes, you're
absolved of any guilt if he doesn't want to be
involved and you've been like, hey, what's going on? And
then t Beck's comment, but do you feel anger because
that's different than guilt.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
And it's also valid, yes, very valid, Yes, but what
don't everybody else say?
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Oh my goodness. So first things first, I asked them
a few questions. First question was, how do you split
money management in your relationship. Fifty seven percent of you
said fifty to fifty. I love this, that's not very
nineteen fifties of us, thirty nine percent said I manage everything.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
That's a big amount.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
That's a big amount, and four percent said, my partner
manages everything.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
I feel like that tracks because the people who are
listening to this show.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Would be the people. Yeah, the people in our community
you care about money. I can't imagine people who are like,
I don't want anything to do with the family finances
is going to go you know what I'm going to
listen to.
Speaker 5 (26:06):
Yeah, they're the people I want to get. So that's true.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I'll work out a way. The next question I asked
was have you ever had to speak to your partner
about sharing the mental load when it comes to finances.
Thirty percent of you said yes, I have and it
went well. Twenty nine percent of you said I haven't good,
have gone better? And forty two percent of you, again,
I think this is reflective of our community, said thankfully,
I haven't.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
Yeah, that was a way better split than I thought
it would be.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
To be honest, Then, as always, we said community, what
is your two cents? First person says, my hubby's more
focused on an end goal how we get there. He
couldn't give two hoots, which is fair.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
If that's how you guys want to split things and
everybody's happy, that's not totally fine exactly.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
He's just like, babe, I'm happy to strap in. You
said that we're going here, you can drive. Thanks. Next
person said, honestly, I'd take it as a blessing that
you are the one in control. No arguing, no deceit,
just trusting your own instincts. Yeah, I think that's cute,
But I also want my husband to have an opinion.
Maybe I don't. Maybe I need to revisit this. Yeah,
maybe I want a whole new relationship dynamic.
Speaker 5 (27:11):
We gonna say relationship, Okay, not at this point.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Not at this point. Next person said, I really wouldn't
date someone, let alone marry someone who didn't want to
share my financial goals. Another person said they need a
He's on the Money podcast for this fellow who won't
pick up a book just because it's.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
Pink, doesn't mean he can't listen, That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
Well, we have a lot of men in our community,
and I appreciate them, but they're allowed here because they
are our people, you know. Another person said, the person
or the people in the coupling that are more financially
in that mindset should be the one taking lead.
Speaker 5 (27:47):
Sure, sure lift each other agrees.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
Someone else said, I told my husband that he needs
to know where our money goes so he knows I'm
not embezzling our family.
Speaker 4 (27:55):
That's hilarious.
Speaker 5 (27:55):
I feel like that would be me.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Please sit down, because I don't want you to think
I'm stealing money from this household. Another person said, if
he wants his spending budget, he can be involved in
the budget. Yeah, she's withholding it. She's like, if you're
not involved in the budget, you get no budget.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
I don't hate that.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Take men who have to advocate for themselves.
Speaker 5 (28:18):
What manas God spending it on? Just sorry.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Another person said, we make the decisions together, and then
I just manage the whole thing because I'm controlling.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
I love you.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
And then someone else said, and this is going to
be the last one that I share, said, my partner
actually has ADHD. Trying to get him to pay a
bill when it comes to it is near impossible. So
I just take the lead and that's just how our
relationship works. Well, okay, I think that one's a good
one as well, because there are reasons why people might
not want to be super involved. Totally don't involve just
(28:50):
being like, oh, I'm scared of money or I don't
want to talk about our finances. They're like, baby, if
you give me the responsibility, that's terrible, Like I won't
do it, will be in more of a financial pickle,
and then yeah, you can work it out from there.
Speaker 4 (29:03):
Right, Every partnership is different. It's about finding what works
for you and making sure that you don't feel bad
about it. There's nothing wrong with your dynamic except for
the fact that you're feeling guilt.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Yes, exactly, and we don't want to do that. So
hopefully this has helped a little bit solve that. But
as no surprise to anybody, the key to this is communication.
Crazy All right, my friends, that is all we have
time for today. As always, thank you so much for
being a part of our beautiful community, whether you're listening
on your walk or in your car or you're pretending
to work. We do really appreciate you. Have the best weekend,
(29:35):
look after yourselves, and we will see you bright and
early on Monday morning for a brand new money diary.
Speaker 5 (29:40):
Bye guys, Bye bye.
Speaker 6 (29:48):
The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
not be relied upon to make an investment financial decision.
If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Tailored towards your needs.
Speaker 6 (30:09):
Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives
of Money. Sheoper p t y lt D A b
N three two one six four nine two seven seven
zero eight AFS L four five one two eight nine
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