July 9, 2026 • 32 mins
POV: You outearn your partner. Should you be contributing more to things like shared costs, savings and goals because your income is higher? Or is there a more equitable way to split things?
This week on Friday Drinks, Victoria, Bec and Jess discuss the ins and outs of relationship finances, especially when you have different attitudes towards money. From honest communication to the heavy money stories we carry, the gang explores how to build healthier financial behaviours while upholding the values of your partnership.
Oh and we finally learn which of the Powerpuff Girls V, Jess and Bec would be if they could choose. This episode is for you if you ever felt heavy or ashamed for having debt, and want a way to overcome this feeling.
Update: This episode was recorded before the Fuel Excise extension was announced. While the initial discount was higher (E.g. Rather than being taxed 52.6 cents/L we were paying 26.3 c/L in tax), we will now be seeing a 16 cent discount and paying 36.6 c/L in tax; saving around $11 per 65-litre tank.
TRUSTED HOUSESITTERS: This platform was mentioned during Bec’s Broke Tips, check it out if you plan on making some extra coin while you travel – or finding a reputable sitter!
A PLAYLIST FOR PAYING DEBT DOWN: Destroy that debt, baby. Here’s a playlist to help you learn how.
HAVING DEBT DOESN’T MAKE YOU A FAILURE: And we’ve got a blog to prove it.
New here? Follow us on Instagram (@shesonthemoneyaus) for Q&As, bite-sized advice, daily money inspo... and relatable money memes that just get you.
Acknowledgement of Country By Nartarsha Bamblett (nartarshabamblett.com.au)
The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708, AFSL - 4451289
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name's Tatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations woman
and I'm here to acknowledge country. Te Glenn Young Ganya Niana,
kaka ya Ya Binahwaka nian Arka In Nimbini, yakarum Jar,
Dominyamiga Umaga, Ithawakawaman, damon Immalan, Bumba bang Gadaboma in and
now in Waka Ghana and yak rum Jar Watanadaa. Hello,
(00:22):
beautiful friends, we gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people.
We thank acknowledge and respect the Aboriginal people's land that
we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the land
and respect all that you see. She's on the Money
podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing you the tools,
knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
that makes personal finance is fun, especially on Fridays. Thank
you for joining us for another episode of Friday Drinks,
which is the time of the week where we get
together to rejoice in our faculous community from their money
dilemmas right through to their money wins. I'm Victoria Divine
and with me today is the brilliant Beck Sayed and
(01:11):
the joyful Jesse Rici. Okay, if we are doing alliterative introductions, okay,
welcome and as per usual, we are bringing you the
best broke tips of the week plus money wins worth celebrating.
And let's just say that there are definitely a few
things to celebrate, like a money dilemma where one listener
is maximizing their money goals and out earning their partner. Sorry,
(01:35):
what's the dilemma? And we'll also be discussing a dm
about the money shame that's often passed on through our families.
I would say it's a tough one and we are
definitely here to help you through it. My friend, if
you'd like your money dilemma answered on the pod, what
you're going to do is leave us a message by
visiting the podcast page when she's on the Money dot Com.
There's a little tab where you can leave us a voicemail.
(01:56):
And we love listening back to them all, even the
ones where you're just leaving us of war and there
are no questions like I listened to all of them.
It is very, very cute. But speaking of listening back,
would you guys like to listen to a five star review?
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
We have recently run through all of our podcast reporting,
and while it's really nice to see the charts and
the numbers and the graphs of all of it, not
one thing beats hearing from you guys in person and
reading your reviews. This one comes from our friend Teresa. Hi, guys,
love the show. I'm a teacher and was given a
set of boring generic slides to teach students about money, credit,
(02:34):
and banking. I scrapped the slides and I used all
of my shoes on the money knowledge to teach my
students about how to open a bank account, how interest works,
and the importance of budgeting. My student said it was
extremely useful, and they didn't even move when the bell
went for the next class. They I know, right, like,
do you remember packing up?
Speaker 4 (02:53):
I was airborne before the bell.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
But she said, these are such useful life skills. So
thank you for all the knowledge that helps me to
make a difference to the next generation.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
My queen, you're the one making the difference to the
next generation.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
If someone had done that for me when I was
in school, that's really cool And how often have we
actually thought why weren't we taught this at school? Well,
you're out here doing it and supercharging the cellabus with
practical examples.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Hell yeah, I'm obsessed to hear it. If you've found
our podcast helpful, insightful, or educational, even my friends, we
implore you, could you pretty please with a dollar on top?
Leave us a five star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
You can even email them to me. That's happened before.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
I'll take them however you are willing to give them anyway.
We've done it, guys, we've hit the classroom. You can
tell my economics teacher now that she's made a big
that's huge and she was a nasty pasty.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
So, oh, my friends, are you ready for a question
yes the week?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
This is a little bit of a change of pace
because the question of the week is exciting. And can
I just tell you that the team and I have
been sitting on this one for the two of you,
saving it for when we were able to answer it.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
And here is why. Okay, Jessica asks great name.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
If Vic, Jess and Beck were an iconic group of three,
aside from the finance angels that they are.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Would you be the Charmed Sisters?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Would you be Mean Girls?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Would you be Charlie's Angels, the powder Puff Girls or
something completely different?
Speaker 5 (04:36):
Powerpuff Girls did jump into my mind when you said
iconic trio, shock Gun bubbles obviously.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yeah, like all yours, bab Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Would you be what's the green one?
Speaker 5 (04:46):
Blossom, butter Cup, butter cups and blossom, but the red one?
Speaker 6 (04:50):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Okay, okay, it would be the red one. I feel
like it would be too. Yeah, you've got a red
earring always.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Yeah, I feel like that feels right. I'm thinking Power
Up Girls as well.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
But who else would we be?
Speaker 5 (05:01):
I did also love Charmed, Charmed the Iconic show. I
had the DVD box set of Charmed.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Someone in our DMS the other day said that our
deep dives feel like Pinky in the brain with like
beck can I, And I was like, that is awesome,
because like pinky is so much fun and the brain
is a loser. That's not true, yeah, but also like
that dynamic is fun. I can't think of any trios.
I can only think of duos.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
I think that with trios there's always one that everyone forgets,
like Destiny's child is always like the other one, you
know what I mean. So I'm like, we would be
a trio.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yeah, no one cares about Buttercup in the powder Buttually
it's like everyone and the Red One.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
So but I think with our trio we would all
be known.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Yeah, exactly. Guess what what? She's on the money?
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Yes, that's true. I'm gonna go Charmed or Powerpuff Girls
or she's in the money.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
I don't want to be mean girls. No, we could
do it, though, No, No, I just.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Wait, which one is Damien the guy who gives the pick?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
I want my picture back.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
Seeing a lot of the movies, I'm Glenn, Coco, you
go Coco. I would be the obviously the lesbian one
at the very end of Janice, Yeah you're Janus, I'm Janis.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
No one's allowed to be Regina George's she's too mean. Yeah, yeah,
she's too mean? Yea, I endorse that. Can I be
Regina George's mom? Though? Oh hell yeah, oh my god,
iconic woman. I'm not a regular mom. I'm a cool mum.
You guys need anything, all right? So what are we
settling on?
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
I'm going Tom Powerpuff Girls. All right, all right, my
iconic behavior.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Really we love your questions, my friends, so please please
please keep them coming, send them on to us via
our socials, slip into our d ms. Just honestly make
it interesting, just like Jennifer did.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
That's a great question, thank you. All right. Moving on
from that, we need a more meant for our money wins.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Miss Jesse Gourici every single week gathers the best moments
worth sharing on our main Jess, where's our community winning
at this week?
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Alrighty?
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Firstly, Monique said her daughter's laptop died right before study period.
She obviously needs it for UNI eighteen hundred dollars to
replace it lack for like, but she's decided she likes
the MacBook Neo because it's lighter to carry. They offer
a student discount, so it was only seven hundred and
forty nine dollars and then she also got two percent
cash back as well.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
That's pretty good for a laptop I know.
Speaker 5 (07:31):
And that's the one that comes in the really cute
pink color I've seen online. So double money win.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
For a new work laptop. Give it a hold. Second,
it's going to need to.
Speaker 5 (07:39):
Be pink next I've got money in from Jade, who said,
I've managed to revamp my living room and dining room
with floor to ceiling shears from Kmar and it cost
me less than five hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Excuse me, came out of doing shes I don't, And
they look really good, like Jade popp a photo in.
They look great.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
My goodness, someone who's in the market.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
I knew that Freedom was doing them. I didn't know that,
you know, the bigger do were playing this game as well.
Speaker 5 (08:02):
And under five hundred dollars seems like compared to the
quotes I've heard quite good. Next, I've got money in
from Natasha, who said I was looking at the Q
sale page and I was about to drop one hundred
and fifty bucks on new pants for work. But I
jumped on eBay and I got myself a brand new
pair that still had the tags attached for forty five
dollars including shipping.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
A great funny win. God, we love a second hand bargain,
especially if you're looking for something specific and then you
find it on eBay.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
There is truly no better feeling when you find exactly
what you want, exactly your size.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yep, and the color you want.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
I just bought a pair of Lululemon tights brand new
with the tags a color that they don't have in
stock anymore, from like two seasons ago, because I wanted
this specific pink.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
If you know, you know, eBay, I agree muddy.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
Samaria said, Glue Stories closing down, so she got three
hundred dollars worth of nude lucy jeans for eighty money win,
and then Haley said, money loss. We've just re located
from one rental to another because they were selling within
a month. This one where in is selling as well.
Oh no, which is just the worst luck in the world.
But she did have a money win. She said, I
did our grocery shop for a family of five for
(09:07):
under a hundred dollars this week. We shopped our cupboard,
our fridge, and our freezer and got creative with the
help of AI and freed up approximately two hundred and
fifty dollars to go into our savings this week.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Wow, stop it. That's phenomenal, really well done.
Speaker 5 (09:20):
And last one for this week is from Jamie who
said money win over the weekend. My recently started cleaning
business side hustle has now just broken even and I
am officially in the green.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Nothing like a bit of Elberg grease paying off. I
love that.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
That's very exciting money wins. I'm always in that thread.
I'm always looking, i love reading, I'm always snooping And
do you know what the worst thing about money winds
thread is sometimes it makes me a little bit impulsive
because people are like, oh, this is on sale or
I just got this cheir and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
I want that too. Yeah, So like read with caution
my friends.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
As you guys also know, our community is exceptional at
sharing their broke tips. Beck, you've got a pick of
the litter this week. What tips do you have for
us that you are willing to share and pass on?
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Okay, so this week I've got one from Georgia who
says that she had her car service to caut my
Car and earned Flybys points as well. So I don't
know if you guys know this, but she says after
the service, I received an email with details of a
promotion between came Up my Car and Shell already expressed
servos where I can get seventeen cents off per lita
(10:24):
once a week for eight weeks.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
It gets better.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
The promotion can also be stacked with fuel discounts I
earned through doing my groceries and calls, so I say,
twenty one cents per liter and was still able to
earn Flybys points.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Excuse me, she's like a point stacking hacking queen. Hell yeah,
isn't that amazing? Twenty one cent a leader.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
That's astronomical totally, And when I mean the petrol's okay now,
which means it's even cheaper. But when it was like hectic,
it's like you, it barely would have like touched her,
you know.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
And I'm a little bit scared because I think that
it's gonna get worse real soon.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Nah.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Sorry, I see our peel x is lifting.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Oh okay, that we're not going to get that discount
passed on to us, and so it's going to get
a little bit spicy CeNSE off a leader sounds might
yps Stash it in your back pocket and start using
it now.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
Great idea, good idea. Okay. The next one comes from Danny,
who says joining Queensland Country Bank smart budget was the
best decision I've ever made. We're able to transfer a
set amount every week slash fortnite to cover literally every
single bill throughout the year with one hundred percent full
confidence all our bills are covered. They also put a
ten percent contingency on top of every bill, which then
(11:37):
goes into your rainy day account. It's called Queensland Country
Bank Smart Budget, so that's the full name of it.
It's quite a mouthful. So if you're in Queensland, I'm
assuming just like check it out. It sounds like I
don't know what the hell they're doing, but to be
able to cover every single bill with one hundred percent
full confidence, I'm like, I've never ever made life.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
That is what that kind of budgeting is going to
do for you.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
It is, but it's also this ten percent and contingency
on top of every bill, which I have no idea
what that means, but it just means.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
That they're adding ten percent to every bill.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
They are or the bank is no, no, no, Like
they're budgeting and they're being told put an extra ten
percent aside because if something goes wrong, you'll have a
contingency plan and you'll be okay.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
And that is what good budgeting is going to do
for you. My friend, God, yeah, I love it.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
And then my one for this week my friends went
to I think Argentina or something like that. Okay, nice,
Actually they didn't be europe trip, I should say, but
that doesn't sound like a money I don't know, it doesn't,
it doesn't. But they said that they barely paid for
accommodation because they just like looked up. There's a few
of them, but Trusted house Sitters is the one that
they used, and they just like genius went around the
(12:42):
world and the house sat Maybe they had to like
feed a dog here or there, but for the most
part they were just like living in people's houses or
that's my dream.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
So cool.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
So when I travel and I think you're the same jest,
we just missed our pets. Like you go away and
you're like I cannot wait for a two week holiday,
And then I'm on the holiday and I'm like, I
wonder what Lucy's doing. Yeah, she's having a good time,
and I know she's fine. But imagine getting a pet
while you're overseas. I know, el'st call me up. If
you live in London and you've got a bougie apartment,
(13:12):
I'm come live with you and pat your dog.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
And sometimes you don't need to even take care of
a pet because people just want someone in their house,
like make sure everything's okay in the world. So you
might not even have any responsibility except for, like, I don't.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Know, not breaking their stuff. I think it's a great idea.
I love that.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
All right, Well, we're about to take a really quick break,
but when we get back, we'll be discussing a pretty
pleasant money dilemma about earning well and wanting to know
just how much to commit to as a money goal
without overstretching.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
So guys, stay tuned.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
money dilemma.
Speaker 7 (13:52):
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
can't solve? That She's on the Money team is here
to help. Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big
and small, to answer your most burning money, career and
life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website
and leave us a short voice recording and you might
just find yourself on the show.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Have your friend to the girls that she's on the money.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
I've tried to do this recording a few times.
Speaker 6 (14:19):
It's actually quite hard.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Just looking for some advice.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
My partner and I have her just a.
Speaker 6 (14:24):
Property together using his equity and my cash. I do
have a bit more spendable income than heed us, so
I'm struggling a little bit trying to find balance between
wanting to knock down these goals as quick as possible,
but also not trying to over extend myself where I
(14:45):
feel like I'm contributing significantly more than his. We both
do have our own offset accounts. But just looking at
any other advice on how to balance this, what's still
tackling these goals?
Speaker 3 (15:00):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
I love this question. This queen has more money than
her partner, big money win.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
But also I just feel like it's it's a flex
to be the female in the relationship earning more Like
don't get me wrong, I want a relationship built on
equity and like what's mine is yours and what's yours
is mine like in my household, right yeah, but low
key in the background, just knowing that like the women.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Are now becoming the breadwinners, like pop off queen.
Speaker 7 (15:28):
I love this.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
What do you reckon, Jess?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
When it comes to maybe over extending yourself and not
wanting to spend more on goals than your partner is.
Speaker 5 (15:36):
I think for most people there's going to be a
situation where one partner is out earning the other. Like
I think it's it's just like the way of the world.
Who that is either way. But I think it's going
to be very rare that you're both in a position
where contributing the same exact amount makes the most sense financially.
I would maybe look at doing it as a percentage
of income, so you know, you each contribute twenty percent
(15:57):
of your income.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Towards the goals or whatever.
Speaker 5 (15:59):
I think it is going to depend on how you
approach finances. Like you've said, ved for you and your partner,
everything is it's our money, right, it doesn't matter who
earns it or how much it is.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
It belongs to both of you.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
I understand that when you are you know, not everybody
chooses to manage their money that way. That's not how
my partner and I do it.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
It's not always the smartest decision.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
Yeah, And there's all these different factors that can come
into it. So I think percentage base makes it feel
a bit more fair because you do have to acknowledge
that the person who earns more money is in a
more comfortable position, like it's just the nature of the beast,
and so finding a way that you can contribute equal
feeling amounts I think is important so nobody feels uncomfortable.
But also, you know, if you are working towards shared goals,
(16:40):
I'm of the mindset of, well, if you can get
there faster, like why not, and you can put protections
in place. I think it's important to think about worst
case scenario. We all know me, I'm a catastrophizer. So really,
if we're saving for a house deposit and you know
you're putting in double what your partner's putting in, can
we put something in place to say that God forbid everything?
You know when a shape that you're getting back what
(17:01):
you put in. So making sure you have those conversations.
You can formalize things in writing or speak to your
legal counsel and stuff like that. But I think ultimately
percentages to me, feels like a much more fair way
to approach it.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
But again, it's totally up to you guys.
Speaker 5 (17:16):
In the way that you handle money.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
There's really no right or wrong.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
Yeah, I think like if it's renting or if it's
any other like you know, groceries and stuff like that.
I feel like equity is so fine, like maybe you
can like pay most of the utility bills, spend most
on the groceries, whatever, whatever equity looks like in your relationship.
But when it comes to this house, I would do
the same. I'd be like, oh, maybe I'll put like
two thousand dollars and you put one thousand dollars per month.
But I think just keeping track of that, and like
you're having something in writing so that if you do
(17:41):
separate in the future and you need to like sell
the house, then it's just like even if they turn
to a really mean person and they you know, fighting
for you know more of it. It's like you have
it in writing. No matter what happens, you will get
at least you know what you've put in. I think.
So I think that just just that part of it,
just that portion of it, have it in writing the
rest of your life, equity, whatever, whatever you know, Do
(18:04):
it feels good?
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Do it feels good? What do you think? I think
what you think? And that's really hard.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
And I know that this is, you know, a money
dilemma because you're like, how do I balance my money
goals without overextending, Well, I think you need to step
back and have some conversations without your partner, just with yourself,
like what are your money goals? What are you trying
to commit to? What do you mean by over extending?
Like what does that actually look like? Are you saying
that you're worried you'll commit too much to these goals
(18:32):
and you've got other goals? Well, then those other goals
are important as well, So like, what do you mean
by over extending?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Like, let's have a chat with ourselves and then take
that knowledge into the conversations that we're having with our partner.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Because if I'm just having conversations with my.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Partner, right he wants to go on golf trips, he
wants to do things that I'm not that interested in
in that aspect. I mean, he'll probably say, oh, I
want to go on a family holiday. Great, I'm interested
in yeah. But if I'm not coming to that conversation
with other things that I want to achieve, well, then
we're just looking at the budget and divving it up
amongst the goals. And then you know, a year from now,
(19:09):
I'll be like, oh, but we haven't done anything for
me well, whose fault is that? Like, and we're not
playing a blame game, but like, come to the conversation
being like, oh, I would really like to achieve a
B or C or like, your goals might look completely different.
You might say, well, actually, I really want to save
up and I want to buy a bike, I want
to get into cycling, and you know, this is what
(19:29):
I'm budgeting. Like, it doesn't matter what it is. But
come to the conversation with an understanding of what overextending
might look like, because more often than not, from my experience,
when people say they don't want to overextend themselves, they
might not actually have a specific goal in mind either.
They might just be like, I just don't want to
feel like I can't seize an opportunity Victoria, which is
(19:50):
all great, fair, we just need some wiggle room in
our budget. That means that we'll you know, top up
a savings fund for something in the future. We don't
know what that means. We don't know what that's for,
but it just means that instead of budgeting. You know,
you said before you do a thousand dollars a month, Well, great,
maybe we do nine hundred dollars a month. And I'm
putting some aside for you know, me to be spontaneous.
(20:12):
So for me, when people have always historically said, oh,
I don't want to overextend, it's usually I don't want
to commit to something because I don't know what else
I might want to do.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
And that's okay, that's all right.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Let's just make sure we've got some wiggle room in
our budget so that you know, the entire budget isn't
your mortgage to repayment, and yeah, you can't do anything.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah, does that make sense? So good abye?
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Thanks, I made it up myself. Look, we stan a voicemail.
I love hearing your voices in my ear holes, but
we also accept your dilemmas in DM form. And this
one comes from one of our followers who writes, Hi, guys,
my mummy dilemma is how do I become more comfortable
with talking about my finances with my partner. We've been
(20:57):
together for eighteen months and we are planning to get
married next year. My partner is very open about his
finances and wants to have a relationship discussion about our finances.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
For the future.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
I have twelve thousand dollars in savings, but I have
ten thousand dollars in credit card debt from a European holiday,
and I know I can hear Victoria's voice saying, well, actually,
you don't have savings if you have debt, which I
totally get. That's so funny because that's what I was thinking.
But I've read your book and have been making double
the minimum payments each month and I make extra when
(21:30):
I can. It was originally a fifteen thousand dollar debt,
and I feel a lot of shame around telling my
partner about this, as I'm embarrassed. I even got a
credit card because my mum had multiple growing up, and
I actually had to declare bankruptcy when I was sixteen.
Money talk makes me so uncomfortable due to the upbringing
that I've had. I still can't speak about money out loud,
and I feel so much shame.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
What do I do? Do I want to hug you?
I know I want to hug you. Do you know
what relatable? Feel like?
Speaker 4 (22:00):
I relate to this person because I really crashed out
the other day at my friends because I was trying
to say that I'm in this position financially, not purely
because of the upbringing, but that's certainly some of it
the same way you like have your mannerisms or the
way you view the world or every single thing. I mean,
some things are what is it nature, but a lot
of things are nurture. And so I feel like when
(22:20):
you're talking to someone who can't or won't or you're
worried that they won't fully understand where you've come from
and your journey and your relationship with money, and you
feel like they'll be dismissive or just not take everything
into consideration or just not even be able to understand
where you're coming from, then it is really scary. But
I think that having an honest, open conversation about like
your relationship with money before I suppose even talking about
(22:42):
money might help.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
For me.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
It's like the anxiety of knowing that the person won't
really get it, the feeling of feeling like sickness or
something like or yeah, just knowing that you might be misunderstood.
It's really not the money even, it's just like hoping
that they see all of you and your full story
while talking about money, you know, and so I forget
(23:06):
that yeah, yeah, And it's like hopefully, like if you're
planning to get married with this person. I'm sure they're
quite understanding and empathetic and hopefully have the emotional intelligence
enough to yeah, kind of see you and see all
of you and see your whole money story. But I
think talking about that first and then talking about money,
because that will really help I think along the way
I feel like when I was in this situation, and
(23:28):
maybe you'll resonate with this beck and maybe even you
just because you've been in debt before as well. I
don't want to be judged, but I also don't want
to be dismissed, so like I want to be able
to have a conversation and be like, oh, this is
really hard for me. But I don't want someone to say, oh, Jess,
it's not that deep, don't worry about it, because to me,
it is that deep. Like to me, my debt carried
(23:50):
so much shame and so much like wait, like I
was up and I always say flippantly, oh yeah, it'll
keep you off at three am, like yeah, most nights crying, upset, stressed,
feeling sick to the bottom of my stomach, like not
being able to function in some conversations because I felt
so sick about money and was so distracted by those
(24:11):
like thoughts that when I finally talk about it, how
do how do I tell someone that? How do I go, Oh,
this doesn't just stress me out, it's like all consuming
and overwhelming, And then I'm worried or I remember being worried,
not only that somebody would judge me and be like, oh,
I can't believe you do that.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
But on the flip side, someone would be like, it's
not that deep just got out of debt, and you go, oh,
it's not that there's so much more to it, Like
it's not that I'm there, it's also that I still
have these mindsets and I don't think I can pull
myself out of this, Like it's the lack of self belief,
and so you're kind of like are hoping and this
was me maybe that that conversation wasn't just met with
(24:49):
like no judgment, but it was met with like a
help and a step up for like my own self confidence.
Like I wanted to walk away feeling empowered from those conversations,
but you can't just say, hey, Mola, talk to you
about my debt, and this is how I want to
feel walking away from this conversation, Like it's hard to
open up about those things, and I think it is
(25:11):
really common for people who grow up around financial stress
to then avoid it because usually financial stress created conflict.
We don't want conflict, right, Yeah, so jess what are
your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (25:24):
I think, like to flip the narrow over around a
little bit.
Speaker 5 (25:26):
Your partner is doing exactly what we would recommend anybody
do when planning to join your finances.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Congratulations on the upcoming wedding. By the way, green flag,
very exciting, huge green flag. Where's the green flag? Man
running around the giant flag? Like this is great? Like
this is such a positive thing.
Speaker 5 (25:41):
I think the fact that he wants to have this
conversation is like something that you should feel really good about,
Like it means he wants to be on the same page,
he wants.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
To open the door.
Speaker 5 (25:50):
He might have noticed maybe that there's a lack of
comfort with having those conversations sometimes, you know, I think
the three of us, because of what we do, like
where those people who are always very comfortable having these converses.
Sometimes you can tell when you try and have a
conversation or money comes up colloquially with somebody, you can
sense a little bit of discomfort. So maybe this is
even like he's sensed a little bit of your discomfort
(26:10):
and he's trying to open the door, like this is
the step for that, which I think is awesome and
that's really great. I think exactly that you guys were saying,
like your feelings are valid and totally understandable, but at
the same time, if this is the person you're going
to spend the rest of your life with, like they're
going to see you in some compromising positions.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
You know, across the course of your relationship. They are
really going to see it all.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Like I wish someone had said that to me when
I was trying to disclose to Steve that I had
debt and I just like ruminated on it.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Yeah, that man's gone to see me give birth.
Speaker 5 (26:41):
Literally, they're probably going to see you go to the
bathroom like all my boyfriend's held my hair, Will I
vomit it?
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Like they say it all right, yeah, like you're going
to see you.
Speaker 5 (26:50):
In much worse situations than bearing your soul, I think.
And so if we can temper your emotions with the
feelings of love that you feel for your partner and
the sense of safety and security that I hope that
they give you I hope that that will just help
you feel a bit more confident going because.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
You have nothing to be embarrassed about.
Speaker 5 (27:09):
You're also doing amazing, like you're paying down your debt,
you have a plan, you have savings, like you're in
a really good position, honestly, and having this conversation will
allow you to look at that and maybe you might
want to consider whether you use a portion of your
savings to pay off a chunk of debt, or you
might want to have a plan because you, guys, might
have shared goals for the wedding or the honeymoon or
(27:30):
whatever comes next for you. Guys. I think only positive
things can come from having this conversation. And you're getting married,
You found your person, and I just hope that they
give you that sense of support and love that you
need to be able to lift this weight.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
A little bit.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Exactly exactly let everyone else say so.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
I asked the community, is it common for people who
grew up around financial stress to avoid talking about money
out loud? Eighty nine percent of you said yes, yeh unsurprising.
Then we asked, would you feel hurt if your partner
hid debt from you?
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Ninety four percent of you said yes.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Then we asked, have you ever hidden debt from a
partner because you felt ashamed? This was not what I expected.
So twenty six percent of you said yes, seventy four
percent of you said no. I thought that that would
be a little bit higher, not from a place of judgment,
but more from a place of flirt.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
I did it, don't doesn't everybody do this?
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Ye?
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Maybe I was just looking for some self validation there
and I didn't find debt. But then we went to
the community and we said, all right, guys, what is
your two cents? First person said, explain it to your
partner like you just did hear? Yeah, genuinely, they will
get it, They will understand. Another person said, talking about
it makes you take accountability, and that's the first step
(28:47):
towards getting out of this situation. Another person said, good
debt and bad debt are very different. Debt of a
car is okay debt due to gambling? No, I think
it would depend on the situation, which is so true.
Like you're not going into this conversation being like, hey,
I've fritted away all of this, and I mean, you
could frame it however you want, but like it sounds
(29:08):
like you really wanted to experience a life event that
you couldn't afford at the time, and you took all
the tools and resources that you had and decided, I'm
going to go into debt for that, and I'm really
happy to pay that off later and that's all good
for me. Yeah, Like, you don't have to go into
this and be like, oh my god, I have credit
card debt. No, because like, entering the conversation that way
(29:28):
is going to purposefully position it to your partner that
this is shameful. Yeah, let's position it as I had
a holiday, I'm still paying off and I've got this
amount in the bank.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
What should we do? How are you going to fund life? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Like approach it how you want him to maybe approach it.
The next is definitely talk to Victoria about just paying
off your credit card debt from your savings.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
I didn't even mention it.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
You know what I think, But I also know that
money is not inherently black and white. I need an
emergency fun Yeah, you might need lots of things, and yes,
on paper, the idea is to pay off that debt.
You said You've got twelve thousand dollars worth of savings
and ten thousand dollars worth of debt to me, you
have two thousand dollars worth of savings, pay off your debt.
(30:12):
We're a clean slate, We're good to go. That's exactly
what I would recommend. But your emotions are layered over that,
and that's okay, And maybe you're not ready for that
decision to be made, and maybe that's not something you
want to do. I get it, Like, I am not
going to pretend that real life doesn't get overlaid over
textbook perfection. Yeah, but textbook perfection would say that you
(30:33):
just wipe out that debt and start from a clean slate,
And I would question why you're not doing that. So
maybe have a chat to yourself about, Yeah, why aren't
you doing that? What's going on here? Why are you
holding back? The next person said, I have two thoughts.
I don't think it's shameful if you're prioritizing payments and
addressing it.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
You're tackling this right.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Now and traveling while you're young was worth the debt
for me. I wish I had done more of it.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
There you go. The person said, if they are a.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
Loving and supporting partner, they would want to work towards
a shared solution and then someone else and this will
be my last one said. Telling my partner in the
end was actually the best thing. He helped me make
a debt free plan and now we are thriving, gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
The future is bright.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
The future is very bright, and it's exactly what you
want to make of it. And my friend, we hear you,
we see you, and you know what sucks. Debt shame
sucks even more so, my friends. Unfortunately, that is all
we have time for today. If you enjoyed this episode,
please send it around, because the more friends we have,
the better when it comes to She's on the Money.
Also have a little think about sending us a money dilemma,
(31:38):
or a question of the week, or even a little
cheeky review. My friends, take care of yourselves and of
each other. We'll see you on Monday with a fresh money.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Diary by Guy Bye.
Speaker 7 (31:51):
The Bye shared on Shees on the Money is general
in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
on the Money exists purely for edge occational purposes and
should not be relied upon to make an investment or
financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product,
read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored
towards your needs. Victoria Divine and Sheese on the Money
(32:14):
are authorized representatives of Money.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Sheerfer Pty Ltd
Speaker 7 (32:18):
A BN three two one six four nine two seven
seven zero eight AFSL four five one two eight nine
My name's Tatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations woman
and I'm here to acknowledge country. Te Glenn Young Ganya Niana,
kaka ya Ya Binahwaka nian Arka In Nimbini, yakarum Jar,
Dominyamiga Umaga, Ithawakawaman, damon Immalan, Bumba bang Gadaboma in and
now in Waka Ghana and yak rum Jar Watanadaa. Hello,
(00:22):
beautiful friends, we gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people.
We thank acknowledge and respect the Aboriginal people's land that
we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the land
and respect all that you see. She's on the Money
podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing you the tools,
knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
that makes personal finance is fun, especially on Fridays. Thank
you for joining us for another episode of Friday Drinks,
which is the time of the week where we get
together to rejoice in our faculous community from their money
dilemmas right through to their money wins. I'm Victoria Divine
and with me today is the brilliant Beck Sayed and
(01:11):
the joyful Jesse Rici. Okay, if we are doing alliterative introductions, okay,
welcome and as per usual, we are bringing you the
best broke tips of the week plus money wins worth celebrating.
And let's just say that there are definitely a few
things to celebrate, like a money dilemma where one listener
is maximizing their money goals and out earning their partner. Sorry,
(01:35):
what's the dilemma? And we'll also be discussing a dm
about the money shame that's often passed on through our families.
I would say it's a tough one and we are
definitely here to help you through it. My friend, if
you'd like your money dilemma answered on the pod, what
you're going to do is leave us a message by
visiting the podcast page when she's on the Money dot Com.
There's a little tab where you can leave us a voicemail.
(01:56):
And we love listening back to them all, even the
ones where you're just leaving us of war and there
are no questions like I listened to all of them.
It is very, very cute. But speaking of listening back,
would you guys like to listen to a five star review?
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
We have recently run through all of our podcast reporting,
and while it's really nice to see the charts and
the numbers and the graphs of all of it, not
one thing beats hearing from you guys in person and
reading your reviews. This one comes from our friend Teresa. Hi, guys,
love the show. I'm a teacher and was given a
set of boring generic slides to teach students about money, credit,
(02:34):
and banking. I scrapped the slides and I used all
of my shoes on the money knowledge to teach my
students about how to open a bank account, how interest works,
and the importance of budgeting. My student said it was
extremely useful, and they didn't even move when the bell
went for the next class. They I know, right, like,
do you remember packing up?
Speaker 4 (02:53):
I was airborne before the bell.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
But she said, these are such useful life skills. So
thank you for all the knowledge that helps me to
make a difference to the next generation.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
My queen, you're the one making the difference to the
next generation.
Speaker 5 (03:10):
If someone had done that for me when I was
in school, that's really cool And how often have we
actually thought why weren't we taught this at school? Well,
you're out here doing it and supercharging the cellabus with
practical examples.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Hell yeah, I'm obsessed to hear it. If you've found
our podcast helpful, insightful, or educational, even my friends, we
implore you, could you pretty please with a dollar on top?
Leave us a five star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
You can even email them to me. That's happened before.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
I'll take them however you are willing to give them anyway.
We've done it, guys, we've hit the classroom. You can
tell my economics teacher now that she's made a big
that's huge and she was a nasty pasty.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
So, oh, my friends, are you ready for a question
yes the week?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
This is a little bit of a change of pace
because the question of the week is exciting. And can
I just tell you that the team and I have
been sitting on this one for the two of you,
saving it for when we were able to answer it.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
And here is why. Okay, Jessica asks great name.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
If Vic, Jess and Beck were an iconic group of three,
aside from the finance angels that they are.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Would you be the Charmed Sisters?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Would you be Mean Girls?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Would you be Charlie's Angels, the powder Puff Girls or
something completely different?
Speaker 5 (04:36):
Powerpuff Girls did jump into my mind when you said
iconic trio, shock Gun bubbles obviously.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yeah, like all yours, bab Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Would you be what's the green one?
Speaker 5 (04:46):
Blossom, butter Cup, butter cups and blossom, but the red one?
Speaker 6 (04:50):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Okay, okay, it would be the red one. I feel
like it would be too. Yeah, you've got a red
earring always.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Yeah, I feel like that feels right. I'm thinking Power
Up Girls as well.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
But who else would we be?
Speaker 5 (05:01):
I did also love Charmed, Charmed the Iconic show. I
had the DVD box set of Charmed.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Someone in our DMS the other day said that our
deep dives feel like Pinky in the brain with like
beck can I, And I was like, that is awesome,
because like pinky is so much fun and the brain
is a loser. That's not true, yeah, but also like
that dynamic is fun. I can't think of any trios.
I can only think of duos.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
I think that with trios there's always one that everyone forgets,
like Destiny's child is always like the other one, you
know what I mean. So I'm like, we would be
a trio.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yeah, no one cares about Buttercup in the powder Buttually
it's like everyone and the Red One.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
So but I think with our trio we would all
be known.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Yeah, exactly. Guess what what? She's on the money?
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Yes, that's true. I'm gonna go Charmed or Powerpuff Girls
or she's in the money.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
I don't want to be mean girls. No, we could
do it, though, No, No, I just.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Wait, which one is Damien the guy who gives the pick?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
I want my picture back.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
Seeing a lot of the movies, I'm Glenn, Coco, you
go Coco. I would be the obviously the lesbian one
at the very end of Janice, Yeah you're Janus, I'm Janis.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
No one's allowed to be Regina George's she's too mean. Yeah, yeah,
she's too mean? Yea, I endorse that. Can I be
Regina George's mom? Though? Oh hell yeah, oh my god,
iconic woman. I'm not a regular mom. I'm a cool mum.
You guys need anything, all right? So what are we
settling on?
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
I'm going Tom Powerpuff Girls. All right, all right, my
iconic behavior.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Really we love your questions, my friends, so please please
please keep them coming, send them on to us via
our socials, slip into our d ms. Just honestly make
it interesting, just like Jennifer did.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
That's a great question, thank you. All right. Moving on
from that, we need a more meant for our money wins.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Miss Jesse Gourici every single week gathers the best moments
worth sharing on our main Jess, where's our community winning
at this week?
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Alrighty?
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Firstly, Monique said her daughter's laptop died right before study period.
She obviously needs it for UNI eighteen hundred dollars to
replace it lack for like, but she's decided she likes
the MacBook Neo because it's lighter to carry. They offer
a student discount, so it was only seven hundred and
forty nine dollars and then she also got two percent
cash back as well.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
That's pretty good for a laptop I know.
Speaker 5 (07:31):
And that's the one that comes in the really cute
pink color I've seen online. So double money win.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
For a new work laptop. Give it a hold. Second,
it's going to need to.
Speaker 5 (07:39):
Be pink next I've got money in from Jade, who said,
I've managed to revamp my living room and dining room
with floor to ceiling shears from Kmar and it cost
me less than five hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Excuse me, came out of doing shes I don't, And
they look really good, like Jade popp a photo in.
They look great.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
My goodness, someone who's in the market.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
I knew that Freedom was doing them. I didn't know that,
you know, the bigger do were playing this game as well.
Speaker 5 (08:02):
And under five hundred dollars seems like compared to the
quotes I've heard quite good. Next, I've got money in
from Natasha, who said I was looking at the Q
sale page and I was about to drop one hundred
and fifty bucks on new pants for work. But I
jumped on eBay and I got myself a brand new
pair that still had the tags attached for forty five
dollars including shipping.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
A great funny win. God, we love a second hand bargain,
especially if you're looking for something specific and then you
find it on eBay.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
There is truly no better feeling when you find exactly
what you want, exactly your size.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yep, and the color you want.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
I just bought a pair of Lululemon tights brand new
with the tags a color that they don't have in
stock anymore, from like two seasons ago, because I wanted
this specific pink.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
If you know, you know, eBay, I agree muddy.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
Samaria said, Glue Stories closing down, so she got three
hundred dollars worth of nude lucy jeans for eighty money win,
and then Haley said, money loss. We've just re located
from one rental to another because they were selling within
a month. This one where in is selling as well.
Oh no, which is just the worst luck in the world.
But she did have a money win. She said, I
did our grocery shop for a family of five for
(09:07):
under a hundred dollars this week. We shopped our cupboard,
our fridge, and our freezer and got creative with the
help of AI and freed up approximately two hundred and
fifty dollars to go into our savings this week.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Wow, stop it. That's phenomenal, really well done.
Speaker 5 (09:20):
And last one for this week is from Jamie who
said money win over the weekend. My recently started cleaning
business side hustle has now just broken even and I
am officially in the green.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Nothing like a bit of Elberg grease paying off. I
love that.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
That's very exciting money wins. I'm always in that thread.
I'm always looking, i love reading, I'm always snooping And
do you know what the worst thing about money winds
thread is sometimes it makes me a little bit impulsive
because people are like, oh, this is on sale or
I just got this cheir and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
I want that too. Yeah, So like read with caution
my friends.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
As you guys also know, our community is exceptional at
sharing their broke tips. Beck, you've got a pick of
the litter this week. What tips do you have for
us that you are willing to share and pass on?
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Okay, so this week I've got one from Georgia who
says that she had her car service to caut my
Car and earned Flybys points as well. So I don't
know if you guys know this, but she says after
the service, I received an email with details of a
promotion between came Up my Car and Shell already expressed
servos where I can get seventeen cents off per lita
(10:24):
once a week for eight weeks.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
It gets better.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
The promotion can also be stacked with fuel discounts I
earned through doing my groceries and calls, so I say,
twenty one cents per liter and was still able to
earn Flybys points.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Excuse me, she's like a point stacking hacking queen. Hell yeah,
isn't that amazing? Twenty one cent a leader.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
That's astronomical totally, And when I mean the petrol's okay now,
which means it's even cheaper. But when it was like hectic,
it's like you, it barely would have like touched her,
you know.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
And I'm a little bit scared because I think that
it's gonna get worse real soon.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Nah.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Sorry, I see our peel x is lifting.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Oh okay, that we're not going to get that discount
passed on to us, and so it's going to get
a little bit spicy CeNSE off a leader sounds might
yps Stash it in your back pocket and start using
it now.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
Great idea, good idea. Okay. The next one comes from Danny,
who says joining Queensland Country Bank smart budget was the
best decision I've ever made. We're able to transfer a
set amount every week slash fortnite to cover literally every
single bill throughout the year with one hundred percent full
confidence all our bills are covered. They also put a
ten percent contingency on top of every bill, which then
(11:37):
goes into your rainy day account. It's called Queensland Country
Bank Smart Budget, so that's the full name of it.
It's quite a mouthful. So if you're in Queensland, I'm
assuming just like check it out. It sounds like I
don't know what the hell they're doing, but to be
able to cover every single bill with one hundred percent
full confidence, I'm like, I've never ever made life.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
That is what that kind of budgeting is going to
do for you.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
It is, but it's also this ten percent and contingency
on top of every bill, which I have no idea
what that means, but it just means.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
That they're adding ten percent to every bill.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
They are or the bank is no, no, no, Like
they're budgeting and they're being told put an extra ten
percent aside because if something goes wrong, you'll have a
contingency plan and you'll be okay.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
And that is what good budgeting is going to do
for you. My friend, God, yeah, I love it.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
And then my one for this week my friends went
to I think Argentina or something like that. Okay, nice,
Actually they didn't be europe trip, I should say, but
that doesn't sound like a money I don't know, it doesn't,
it doesn't. But they said that they barely paid for
accommodation because they just like looked up. There's a few
of them, but Trusted house Sitters is the one that
they used, and they just like genius went around the
(12:42):
world and the house sat Maybe they had to like
feed a dog here or there, but for the most
part they were just like living in people's houses or
that's my dream.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
So cool.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
So when I travel and I think you're the same jest,
we just missed our pets. Like you go away and
you're like I cannot wait for a two week holiday,
And then I'm on the holiday and I'm like, I
wonder what Lucy's doing. Yeah, she's having a good time,
and I know she's fine. But imagine getting a pet
while you're overseas. I know, el'st call me up. If
you live in London and you've got a bougie apartment,
(13:12):
I'm come live with you and pat your dog.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
And sometimes you don't need to even take care of
a pet because people just want someone in their house,
like make sure everything's okay in the world. So you
might not even have any responsibility except for, like, I don't.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Know, not breaking their stuff. I think it's a great idea.
I love that.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
All right, Well, we're about to take a really quick break,
but when we get back, we'll be discussing a pretty
pleasant money dilemma about earning well and wanting to know
just how much to commit to as a money goal
without overstretching.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
So guys, stay tuned.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
money dilemma.
Speaker 7 (13:52):
Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
can't solve? That She's on the Money team is here
to help. Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big
and small, to answer your most burning money, career and
life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website
and leave us a short voice recording and you might
just find yourself on the show.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Have your friend to the girls that she's on the money.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
I've tried to do this recording a few times.
Speaker 6 (14:19):
It's actually quite hard.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Just looking for some advice.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
My partner and I have her just a.
Speaker 6 (14:24):
Property together using his equity and my cash. I do
have a bit more spendable income than heed us, so
I'm struggling a little bit trying to find balance between
wanting to knock down these goals as quick as possible,
but also not trying to over extend myself where I
(14:45):
feel like I'm contributing significantly more than his. We both
do have our own offset accounts. But just looking at
any other advice on how to balance this, what's still
tackling these goals?
Speaker 3 (15:00):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
I love this question. This queen has more money than
her partner, big money win.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
But also I just feel like it's it's a flex
to be the female in the relationship earning more Like
don't get me wrong, I want a relationship built on
equity and like what's mine is yours and what's yours
is mine like in my household, right yeah, but low
key in the background, just knowing that like the women.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Are now becoming the breadwinners, like pop off queen.
Speaker 7 (15:28):
I love this.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
What do you reckon, Jess?
Speaker 3 (15:30):
When it comes to maybe over extending yourself and not
wanting to spend more on goals than your partner is.
Speaker 5 (15:36):
I think for most people there's going to be a
situation where one partner is out earning the other. Like
I think it's it's just like the way of the world.
Who that is either way. But I think it's going
to be very rare that you're both in a position
where contributing the same exact amount makes the most sense financially.
I would maybe look at doing it as a percentage
of income, so you know, you each contribute twenty percent
(15:57):
of your income.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Towards the goals or whatever.
Speaker 5 (15:59):
I think it is going to depend on how you
approach finances. Like you've said, ved for you and your partner,
everything is it's our money, right, it doesn't matter who
earns it or how much it is.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
It belongs to both of you.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
I understand that when you are you know, not everybody
chooses to manage their money that way. That's not how
my partner and I do it.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
It's not always the smartest decision.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
Yeah, And there's all these different factors that can come
into it. So I think percentage base makes it feel
a bit more fair because you do have to acknowledge
that the person who earns more money is in a
more comfortable position, like it's just the nature of the beast,
and so finding a way that you can contribute equal
feeling amounts I think is important so nobody feels uncomfortable.
But also, you know, if you are working towards shared goals,
(16:40):
I'm of the mindset of, well, if you can get
there faster, like why not, and you can put protections
in place. I think it's important to think about worst
case scenario. We all know me, I'm a catastrophizer. So really,
if we're saving for a house deposit and you know
you're putting in double what your partner's putting in, can
we put something in place to say that God forbid everything?
You know when a shape that you're getting back what
(17:01):
you put in. So making sure you have those conversations.
You can formalize things in writing or speak to your
legal counsel and stuff like that. But I think ultimately
percentages to me, feels like a much more fair way
to approach it.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
But again, it's totally up to you guys.
Speaker 5 (17:16):
In the way that you handle money.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
There's really no right or wrong.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
Yeah, I think like if it's renting or if it's
any other like you know, groceries and stuff like that.
I feel like equity is so fine, like maybe you
can like pay most of the utility bills, spend most
on the groceries, whatever, whatever equity looks like in your relationship.
But when it comes to this house, I would do
the same. I'd be like, oh, maybe I'll put like
two thousand dollars and you put one thousand dollars per month.
But I think just keeping track of that, and like
you're having something in writing so that if you do
(17:41):
separate in the future and you need to like sell
the house, then it's just like even if they turn
to a really mean person and they you know, fighting
for you know more of it. It's like you have
it in writing. No matter what happens, you will get
at least you know what you've put in. I think.
So I think that just just that part of it,
just that portion of it, have it in writing the
rest of your life, equity, whatever, whatever you know, Do
(18:04):
it feels good?
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Do it feels good? What do you think? I think
what you think? And that's really hard.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
And I know that this is, you know, a money
dilemma because you're like, how do I balance my money
goals without overextending, Well, I think you need to step
back and have some conversations without your partner, just with yourself,
like what are your money goals? What are you trying
to commit to? What do you mean by over extending?
Like what does that actually look like? Are you saying
that you're worried you'll commit too much to these goals
(18:32):
and you've got other goals? Well, then those other goals
are important as well, So like, what do you mean
by over extending?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Like, let's have a chat with ourselves and then take
that knowledge into the conversations that we're having with our partner.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Because if I'm just having conversations with my.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Partner, right he wants to go on golf trips, he
wants to do things that I'm not that interested in
in that aspect. I mean, he'll probably say, oh, I
want to go on a family holiday. Great, I'm interested
in yeah. But if I'm not coming to that conversation
with other things that I want to achieve, well, then
we're just looking at the budget and divving it up
amongst the goals. And then you know, a year from now,
(19:09):
I'll be like, oh, but we haven't done anything for
me well, whose fault is that? Like, and we're not
playing a blame game, but like, come to the conversation
being like, oh, I would really like to achieve a
B or C or like, your goals might look completely different.
You might say, well, actually, I really want to save
up and I want to buy a bike, I want
to get into cycling, and you know, this is what
(19:29):
I'm budgeting. Like, it doesn't matter what it is. But
come to the conversation with an understanding of what overextending
might look like, because more often than not, from my experience,
when people say they don't want to overextend themselves, they
might not actually have a specific goal in mind either.
They might just be like, I just don't want to
feel like I can't seize an opportunity Victoria, which is
(19:50):
all great, fair, we just need some wiggle room in
our budget. That means that we'll you know, top up
a savings fund for something in the future. We don't
know what that means. We don't know what that's for,
but it just means that instead of budgeting. You know,
you said before you do a thousand dollars a month, Well, great,
maybe we do nine hundred dollars a month. And I'm
putting some aside for you know, me to be spontaneous.
(20:12):
So for me, when people have always historically said, oh,
I don't want to overextend, it's usually I don't want
to commit to something because I don't know what else
I might want to do.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
And that's okay, that's all right.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Let's just make sure we've got some wiggle room in
our budget so that you know, the entire budget isn't
your mortgage to repayment, and yeah, you can't do anything.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah, does that make sense? So good abye?
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Thanks, I made it up myself. Look, we stan a voicemail.
I love hearing your voices in my ear holes, but
we also accept your dilemmas in DM form. And this
one comes from one of our followers who writes, Hi, guys,
my mummy dilemma is how do I become more comfortable
with talking about my finances with my partner. We've been
(20:57):
together for eighteen months and we are planning to get
married next year. My partner is very open about his
finances and wants to have a relationship discussion about our finances.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
For the future.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
I have twelve thousand dollars in savings, but I have
ten thousand dollars in credit card debt from a European holiday,
and I know I can hear Victoria's voice saying, well, actually,
you don't have savings if you have debt, which I
totally get. That's so funny because that's what I was thinking.
But I've read your book and have been making double
the minimum payments each month and I make extra when
(21:30):
I can. It was originally a fifteen thousand dollar debt,
and I feel a lot of shame around telling my
partner about this, as I'm embarrassed. I even got a
credit card because my mum had multiple growing up, and
I actually had to declare bankruptcy when I was sixteen.
Money talk makes me so uncomfortable due to the upbringing
that I've had. I still can't speak about money out loud,
and I feel so much shame.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
What do I do? Do I want to hug you?
I know I want to hug you. Do you know
what relatable? Feel like?
Speaker 4 (22:00):
I relate to this person because I really crashed out
the other day at my friends because I was trying
to say that I'm in this position financially, not purely
because of the upbringing, but that's certainly some of it
the same way you like have your mannerisms or the
way you view the world or every single thing. I mean,
some things are what is it nature, but a lot
of things are nurture. And so I feel like when
(22:20):
you're talking to someone who can't or won't or you're
worried that they won't fully understand where you've come from
and your journey and your relationship with money, and you
feel like they'll be dismissive or just not take everything
into consideration or just not even be able to understand
where you're coming from, then it is really scary. But
I think that having an honest, open conversation about like
your relationship with money before I suppose even talking about
(22:42):
money might help.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
For me.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
It's like the anxiety of knowing that the person won't
really get it, the feeling of feeling like sickness or
something like or yeah, just knowing that you might be misunderstood.
It's really not the money even, it's just like hoping
that they see all of you and your full story
while talking about money, you know, and so I forget
(23:06):
that yeah, yeah, And it's like hopefully, like if you're
planning to get married with this person. I'm sure they're
quite understanding and empathetic and hopefully have the emotional intelligence
enough to yeah, kind of see you and see all
of you and see your whole money story. But I
think talking about that first and then talking about money,
because that will really help I think along the way
I feel like when I was in this situation, and
(23:28):
maybe you'll resonate with this beck and maybe even you
just because you've been in debt before as well. I
don't want to be judged, but I also don't want
to be dismissed, so like I want to be able
to have a conversation and be like, oh, this is
really hard for me. But I don't want someone to say, oh, Jess,
it's not that deep, don't worry about it, because to me,
it is that deep. Like to me, my debt carried
(23:50):
so much shame and so much like wait, like I
was up and I always say flippantly, oh yeah, it'll
keep you off at three am, like yeah, most nights crying, upset, stressed,
feeling sick to the bottom of my stomach, like not
being able to function in some conversations because I felt
so sick about money and was so distracted by those
(24:11):
like thoughts that when I finally talk about it, how
do how do I tell someone that? How do I go, Oh,
this doesn't just stress me out, it's like all consuming
and overwhelming, And then I'm worried or I remember being worried,
not only that somebody would judge me and be like, oh,
I can't believe you do that.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
But on the flip side, someone would be like, it's
not that deep just got out of debt, and you go, oh,
it's not that there's so much more to it, Like
it's not that I'm there, it's also that I still
have these mindsets and I don't think I can pull
myself out of this, Like it's the lack of self belief,
and so you're kind of like are hoping and this
was me maybe that that conversation wasn't just met with
(24:49):
like no judgment, but it was met with like a
help and a step up for like my own self confidence.
Like I wanted to walk away feeling empowered from those conversations,
but you can't just say, hey, Mola, talk to you
about my debt, and this is how I want to
feel walking away from this conversation, Like it's hard to
open up about those things, and I think it is
(25:11):
really common for people who grow up around financial stress
to then avoid it because usually financial stress created conflict.
We don't want conflict, right, Yeah, so jess what are
your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (25:24):
I think, like to flip the narrow over around a
little bit.
Speaker 5 (25:26):
Your partner is doing exactly what we would recommend anybody
do when planning to join your finances.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Congratulations on the upcoming wedding. By the way, green flag,
very exciting, huge green flag. Where's the green flag? Man
running around the giant flag? Like this is great? Like
this is such a positive thing.
Speaker 5 (25:41):
I think the fact that he wants to have this
conversation is like something that you should feel really good about,
Like it means he wants to be on the same page,
he wants.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
To open the door.
Speaker 5 (25:50):
He might have noticed maybe that there's a lack of
comfort with having those conversations sometimes, you know, I think
the three of us, because of what we do, like
where those people who are always very comfortable having these converses.
Sometimes you can tell when you try and have a
conversation or money comes up colloquially with somebody, you can
sense a little bit of discomfort. So maybe this is
even like he's sensed a little bit of your discomfort
(26:10):
and he's trying to open the door, like this is
the step for that, which I think is awesome and
that's really great. I think exactly that you guys were saying,
like your feelings are valid and totally understandable, but at
the same time, if this is the person you're going
to spend the rest of your life with, like they're
going to see you in some compromising positions.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
You know, across the course of your relationship. They are
really going to see it all.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Like I wish someone had said that to me when
I was trying to disclose to Steve that I had
debt and I just like ruminated on it.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Yeah, that man's gone to see me give birth.
Speaker 5 (26:41):
Literally, they're probably going to see you go to the
bathroom like all my boyfriend's held my hair, Will I
vomit it?
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Like they say it all right, yeah, like you're going
to see you.
Speaker 5 (26:50):
In much worse situations than bearing your soul, I think.
And so if we can temper your emotions with the
feelings of love that you feel for your partner and
the sense of safety and security that I hope that
they give you I hope that that will just help
you feel a bit more confident going because.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
You have nothing to be embarrassed about.
Speaker 5 (27:09):
You're also doing amazing, like you're paying down your debt,
you have a plan, you have savings, like you're in
a really good position, honestly, and having this conversation will
allow you to look at that and maybe you might
want to consider whether you use a portion of your
savings to pay off a chunk of debt, or you
might want to have a plan because you, guys, might
have shared goals for the wedding or the honeymoon or
(27:30):
whatever comes next for you. Guys. I think only positive
things can come from having this conversation. And you're getting married,
You found your person, and I just hope that they
give you that sense of support and love that you
need to be able to lift this weight.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
A little bit.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Exactly exactly let everyone else say so.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
I asked the community, is it common for people who
grew up around financial stress to avoid talking about money
out loud? Eighty nine percent of you said yes, yeh unsurprising.
Then we asked, would you feel hurt if your partner
hid debt from you?
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Ninety four percent of you said yes.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Then we asked, have you ever hidden debt from a
partner because you felt ashamed? This was not what I expected.
So twenty six percent of you said yes, seventy four
percent of you said no. I thought that that would
be a little bit higher, not from a place of judgment,
but more from a place of flirt.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
I did it, don't doesn't everybody do this?
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Ye?
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Maybe I was just looking for some self validation there
and I didn't find debt. But then we went to
the community and we said, all right, guys, what is
your two cents? First person said, explain it to your
partner like you just did hear? Yeah, genuinely, they will
get it, They will understand. Another person said, talking about
it makes you take accountability, and that's the first step
(28:47):
towards getting out of this situation. Another person said, good
debt and bad debt are very different. Debt of a
car is okay debt due to gambling? No, I think
it would depend on the situation, which is so true.
Like you're not going into this conversation being like, hey,
I've fritted away all of this, and I mean, you
could frame it however you want, but like it sounds
(29:08):
like you really wanted to experience a life event that
you couldn't afford at the time, and you took all
the tools and resources that you had and decided, I'm
going to go into debt for that, and I'm really
happy to pay that off later and that's all good
for me. Yeah, Like, you don't have to go into
this and be like, oh my god, I have credit
card debt. No, because like, entering the conversation that way
(29:28):
is going to purposefully position it to your partner that
this is shameful. Yeah, let's position it as I had
a holiday, I'm still paying off and I've got this
amount in the bank.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
What should we do? How are you going to fund life? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Like approach it how you want him to maybe approach it.
The next is definitely talk to Victoria about just paying
off your credit card debt from your savings.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
I didn't even mention it.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
You know what I think, But I also know that
money is not inherently black and white. I need an
emergency fun Yeah, you might need lots of things, and yes,
on paper, the idea is to pay off that debt.
You said You've got twelve thousand dollars worth of savings
and ten thousand dollars worth of debt to me, you
have two thousand dollars worth of savings, pay off your debt.
(30:12):
We're a clean slate, We're good to go. That's exactly
what I would recommend. But your emotions are layered over that,
and that's okay, And maybe you're not ready for that
decision to be made, and maybe that's not something you
want to do. I get it, Like, I am not
going to pretend that real life doesn't get overlaid over
textbook perfection. Yeah, but textbook perfection would say that you
(30:33):
just wipe out that debt and start from a clean slate,
And I would question why you're not doing that. So
maybe have a chat to yourself about, Yeah, why aren't
you doing that? What's going on here? Why are you
holding back? The next person said, I have two thoughts.
I don't think it's shameful if you're prioritizing payments and
addressing it.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
You're tackling this right.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Now and traveling while you're young was worth the debt
for me. I wish I had done more of it.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
There you go. The person said, if they are a.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
Loving and supporting partner, they would want to work towards
a shared solution and then someone else and this will
be my last one said. Telling my partner in the
end was actually the best thing. He helped me make
a debt free plan and now we are thriving, gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
The future is bright.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
The future is very bright, and it's exactly what you
want to make of it. And my friend, we hear you,
we see you, and you know what sucks. Debt shame
sucks even more so, my friends. Unfortunately, that is all
we have time for today. If you enjoyed this episode,
please send it around, because the more friends we have,
the better when it comes to She's on the Money.
Also have a little think about sending us a money dilemma,
(31:38):
or a question of the week, or even a little
cheeky review. My friends, take care of yourselves and of
each other. We'll see you on Monday with a fresh money.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Diary by Guy Bye.
Speaker 7 (31:51):
The Bye shared on Shees on the Money is general
in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
on the Money exists purely for edge occational purposes and
should not be relied upon to make an investment or
financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product,
read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored
towards your needs. Victoria Divine and Sheese on the Money
(32:14):
are authorized representatives of Money.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Sheerfer Pty Ltd
Speaker 7 (32:18):
A BN three two one six four nine two seven
seven zero eight AFSL four five one two eight nine
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