FULL: Especially The Ladies

Caitlin’s final show before her wedding turns into a hilarious deep dive into table cloth budgets, table seating positions and how much the team is actually meant to put in her card. 

Plus, Monday Winners and Losers, The Brightsiders check in, Things That Make You Go Grrr and listeners deliver wedding warnings.

Then it’s another round of unbelievable stories you truly couldn’t make up, before wrapping with a feast of Musical Meals puns. All as we send Producer Caitlin off to get married.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
iHeart podcasts. You can hear more Gold one I four
point three podcasts, playlist and listen live on the free
iHeart app.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Got anything Good?

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hey, this is.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
The Christian O'Connell show podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Hey this is Christian here. Thank you very much for
checking out today's show. Now, if you listen to our show,
you're already one of us. But why don't we take
it a step further? I invite you to join our
exclusive bright Siders Platinum Club. You might have noticed I'll
started calling the show the bright side of the Dial.
It's our way of letting you know what are shows about,
what we stand for, and the bright Side is Platinum

(00:47):
Club is our very own inner circle. So come and
join us. What do you get when you join the
bright Side is Platinum Club. You get your own membership card.
You can also get access to our private inner circle.
It's a private Facebook group. In there are first alert
early ideas before they become anything on the show, which
means you can outshape the show and also say no

(01:07):
before something becomes a bad idea on the show. You
get the time wasters the day before when Rie and
I come up with the ideas of the time wasters,
you'll hear them before anybody else. Also, every Friday, dropping
into your inbox a unique private message from me to
all the bright Siders, only the bright Siders, not on air.
So if you want to join us, the only thing

(01:28):
I need you to do is text the word bright
Siders to oh four seven five three one oh four three.
I look forward to seeing you in there and now
enjoy today's show. Welcome to the Christian O'Connor's show. Coome morning,
Pats Morning, Good morning, Alex morning, and good morning Rio,
good morning. So today's a very special show for us.
Our heir on the on the team doing this show,

(01:49):
one of us is leaving the show for a couple
of days a week and a half to go and
get married on Saturday, and that is producer Caitlin. So
this is the last time we're with you. The next
time we see you, you'll be married.

Speaker 4 (02:01):
I'll be married, walking in as a wife.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
Congratulations. Ahead of Saturday. Now, before that, we had our
pre show meeting, like Wes do, I found out that
I don't know if you knew this parts or it's it,
but just Kaitlin's only drinking coffee this week through a straw.
So not to stain her venirs. But yeah, I know,
I've never heard of that serious. Yeah, I know they are.

(02:25):
They are. They are beautiful por stain.

Speaker 5 (02:27):
Veneers, like almost only my sunglasses on there.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yeah yeah, well they'd be even brighter comes Saturday, no
coffee stains on them.

Speaker 6 (02:35):
Yes, it's one of my best friends, is my orthodontist.
And she got my teeth all nice and straight, and
then she sorted me out with some heavy duty whitening.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
What is that color bond? You know, even after you've
passed away, you know, if they dug your body up
two hundred yars now like cut down, he is still white. Yes,
shines off them.

Speaker 4 (03:01):
I literally have been doing it for maybe a week
and a half.

Speaker 6 (03:04):
And she said, once you are happy with the whiteness,
you do two days after which I'm kind of getting there,
but I reckon I need a couple more days.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
Well we The other thing is you paid a because
these days I feel so sorry for people getting married.
It's so expensive. Customer in crisis already then getting married,
and so many couples. I hope you guys haven't financially
ruined yourself because you got a whole life ahead of you.
For one day.

Speaker 4 (03:26):
No, we're actually we're fine.

Speaker 6 (03:28):
But also our parents did help us thankfully, So thank
you to our parents.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
You're not expecting us scares to like chip in towards
you know there's already been. There was a family meeting
Sunday about how much money we would be expected to
give to the Caitlin Empire. You must have had a
chat with Will about how much you're giving. Yes, can
we can't say on that. But she made a joke Friday.
Do you remember she made a joke Friday to me

(03:53):
about the exact amount. And I'm not sure whether there's
a joke. I'm being threatened.

Speaker 7 (03:58):
I think she's putting that number.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Do you know what's the worst thing? Because Carl and
Jackie o are They're in the news every day at
the moment, and I hope everything wants itself out there.
I think people just presume that we're all on that
kind of coin. I keep having people, but I'm not.
They see me, they see car and they go, well,
they're all the same. No, no, no, no, I'm not king Christian.

(04:25):
I'm not even a duke. I'm serve Christians.

Speaker 5 (04:28):
That make us. I never know what to give it
a wedding. It's always the.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
Conundrum, very stressful, going to go for the two.

Speaker 5 (04:37):
Of US five hundred.

Speaker 1 (04:39):
You're not, my wife said to me. She said, ask rio,
but not on air. You don't talk about it on air.

Speaker 7 (04:44):
That's so that's a standard of this is horrible.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
Already a poor Caitlin. I know that the teeth is mining.
I can only see the teeth, not the face.

Speaker 5 (04:54):
Pay for that dental bill.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
That's probably the biggest part of the overheading of the
whole wedding. Caitlin's veneers No eight hundred dollars tablecloth.

Speaker 4 (05:04):
Invoice eight hundred dollars.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
I notice this spoken to this they repeat an amount,
but very slow an.

Speaker 6 (05:18):
Read it up you green, But she goes, oh, we've
just got the last bill we have to pay.

Speaker 4 (05:23):
It's just for the table costs.

Speaker 6 (05:24):
So I'll just send to you if you can just
pay it off. And so you no worries thinking you
know a table costs, how much.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
Can I that's from the joint bank account or you
just off yourself your last single lady bill. You want
to get that one?

Speaker 4 (05:35):
Pay for this? She sent it through eight hundred dollars eight.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
Dollars you sounds like Trump does that end dollars?

Speaker 4 (05:44):
When the hell did we agree to eight hundred dollars?

Speaker 1 (05:47):
Welcome to married life table costs?

Speaker 5 (05:50):
What are they tell you?

Speaker 1 (05:51):
What's already clear here? Already in any marriage, you know
that you're entering into the institution of marriage. It is
bill talk about well, I married my equal that is BS.
I'm yet to see any married couple who there's any
kind of equality there. It's a sea saw and so
one's up in the air, and I know and it
isn't me and my marriage. Okay, so already I'm working

(06:13):
out you're on the bottom end of that sea saw,
my friend, and doubt. Why just go a Bunnings and
get those you know, those drop sheets you put down
the past when you're painting. No, you can spill drink
on them and that you're fine.

Speaker 6 (06:25):
You guys better make a mess of those. Those people
really have to, you know, get them clean.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
I'm going to take into trying to what my ass
with that. I'll get my money's worth out of it.
Don't worry. How easy is it to print off counterfeit money.
I'm just asking for a friend.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
Every Tuesday morning on the show, we ask you about
your Monday. How did you start the week? Are you
a Monday winner or loser? Someone's just messaging Christians. At
least get to keep those eight hundred dollars nine hundred
dollars because a good question put Caitlind. You get to
keep them.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
Absolutely not. They're hired.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
No, I mean, what are we We're coming at five?
What is that an hourny rate? We're leaving at eleven
two hundred bucks an hour to hide the sheets.

Speaker 4 (07:08):
This is why I'm discussing canceling.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
I'll see you money about we go to Bunnings, get
some cloths. I agree, spot like, get some far Felt.

Speaker 6 (07:15):
You know what Zem said to me, She said, well,
we've already paid the down payment, so we'll lose that
if we go elsewhere.

Speaker 7 (07:22):
Don't even keep them.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
This crazy, you know what I'm starting to see you here.
We're funding the wedding, right you know. You know he's
paying for those tablecloths. Therefore, if we're stakeholders in this
business of Katelin, we should have had to say this.

Speaker 7 (07:42):
The board meeting.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
Yeah, you have a picnic here at work.

Speaker 5 (07:45):
I would have gone to Camar and got some table.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
Exactly, some nice anchor gear, you get a red rooster.
You know they do those big things, gravy chicken for everyone,
some nice little tables here. We could have put a nice,
as they say, spread for you guys.

Speaker 6 (08:01):
Guys, I agree, But just so you know, Saturday night
will be an experience at every element of the night,
so you will be having well.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Pats, the table we're and I've already just found out
now is restricted viewing.

Speaker 5 (08:14):
What do you mean it's restricted?

Speaker 1 (08:15):
There's some kind of shenanigans going on halfway through it,
and you and I and anyone sat with us, which
is about twelve people. It's not the last supper. We
won't we won't be seeing it.

Speaker 5 (08:25):
Oh, we'll be seeing it.

Speaker 4 (08:28):
We'll just have to move you closer to.

Speaker 5 (08:30):
Us to watch it.

Speaker 7 (08:32):
You have to move from someone's lap taking it.

Speaker 8 (08:39):
No kind of makes me rethink my money envelope a
bit exactly.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
Oh no, no, no, you're right. If if you go
to ticket take with that and it's restrictive viewing, that's okay.
No that if I'm not on the top table, then
it's top table money.

Speaker 9 (08:53):
Patsy, I asked Caitlin on the weekend. I said, do
you want something sentimental like a gift from the heart?
And she looked at me and she went.

Speaker 7 (09:00):
Money, I want money? Wow?

Speaker 1 (09:05):
And do you accept? After pay, give you my gift
and install.

Speaker 4 (09:12):
Your presence is your present, So just come as you are.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
Oh cool, so a lot cheaper the whole Patsy are
you at Monday and winter? How was your day yesterday?

Speaker 5 (09:23):
I reckon I am a winner.

Speaker 8 (09:25):
I went and had a pair of cure yesterday and
I do try to go every month, but I hadn't
been since about Christmas time. So you know, there was
about eight kilos of skin that sheet, which is fantastic
twenty four to seven, you know, if you're tucking into
your wheat pis. But it is a fantastic experience. I
don't know if you guys ever had it with.

Speaker 1 (09:45):
A shave you because there's no reason for me at
the wedding suddenly round about nine o'clock just to start
thinking with shoga socks of rolling up my trousers.

Speaker 8 (09:54):
I'm not going to get my hawks done for the wedding.
But it is just the best experience. And they just
about put you up in stirrups and shave.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
Your feet, won't you go.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
No, I go all the all.

Speaker 5 (10:07):
The salons to doing it.

Speaker 8 (10:08):
It's car service like a It's like rebirthing your feet exactly, Alex.
It's like a brand new set of feet and I
feel about eight kilos lighter at the bottom of the body.

Speaker 5 (10:19):
It's fantastic.

Speaker 9 (10:20):
What are they used to send just a little just
like Walt.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
Oh god, she's not been since last year. Go and
get the go and get the big old and Maikita
polase Hans Yeah, not the battery one as well. Yeah, yeah, no,
we're going to need four stroke for her feet.

Speaker 7 (10:38):
It's great.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
The Christian O'Connell show podcast.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
How did you start the week? Yesterday? Monday Winner or Loser?
Christian of My Monday Winner, I got seven hours sleep
for the first time in weeks. I felt like a
new woman. I didn't know as this is possible to
fill this a week and clear minded and turning. Now
someone is to invents a single one tablet called seven hours,
it would be huge. I'm talking a billion dollar franchise

(11:05):
just simply called seven hours. I didn't know as a
kid how problematic sleep was going to become as a
grown up. It's a big part of my everyday life
is like getting ready for bedtime, that sort of approach sequence,
you know that when a plane's landing and the pilots
must have all their sequence, like the wheels get lowered
four k away from the landing and they have to

(11:26):
That's what it's like at bedtime. For me.

Speaker 9 (11:28):
I start actually getting ready for bed as soon as
I get through the door. When I get home, I
already start getting my clothes ready before bed and putting
all my toiletries in order as soon as I get home,
because I don't want to be thinking, because you know
what you're doing.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
You're gifting future rio maybe only twelve or fourteen hours ahead,
but it's a gift, isn't it. I I'm arranging toilet trees.
The tooth bush is already there, the tooth bas is
really there, deodorant there, Okay, it's all there. So that
future of me is high finding me in the now.

Speaker 9 (11:59):
I'm constantly thinking about sleep a second where I'm not
planning for it.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
If you look at my algorithm, it's mainly action movies
and it's start about sleep sat packs. So at the
moment i'm my stack, my sleep stack is magnesium elfianine,
and then my new one is a tablespoon of honey.

Speaker 7 (12:20):
Oh what does that do?

Speaker 1 (12:21):
Because apparently what happens is, you know, when you wake
up right about one or two in the morning and
you're like, God, damn it, and then it's that's the
stress point, isn't he trying to get back to sleep
and think do I need to be you know, and
then you move and you try and stay as close
to sleep as possibility of moving slowly, but you don't.
You start to wake up when you go to the toilet.
Apparently what hammers is your glycogen stores and quartersole levels

(12:44):
start to drop, and so quarters ole goes up and
it starts to wake you up. Your blood sugar gets
too low. So if you put something like honey in
your system, the blood sugar maintains lower. That's the theory.

Speaker 7 (12:57):
That's a good one.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
Well, I don't know if it's true, but anyone, I'm
just jealous when someone says that seven hours not eight,
that's never coming back in mind, the only time and
getting a solid eight is when I'm dead. That is
the next time I'll get a holiday. Our sleep is
when I'm dead.

Speaker 10 (13:10):
Mostlee Britain is like a jungle with three small lines,
and I've got to try and tame everything.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
It's just a nightmare. Forget it. You just have to
be you just have to get used to be in
jet lag perman It's just an operating state, is jet
leg I've yawned about three times already. Six was at
the Pats store about her feet. I'll get it. I
have to try and eat them. I'll become a pro
at like sucking that yawning. You know, no real, are

(13:35):
you a Monday winter or a loser?

Speaker 9 (13:37):
I have a big time Monday winner. I came back
from the dead yesterday. I was in big trouble with
my partner Will. He put out all our wedding clothes
out on the line yesterday, and I said, I'll bring.

Speaker 1 (13:46):
Him in up raining.

Speaker 7 (13:48):
Yeah, never, We've got that was exactly the problem.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
Not a suit. You're not hanging a suit out on
the line.

Speaker 7 (13:53):
But the the shirt and the pants.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
Not what we sh You're right, you're lucky. You know.
We don't have proper jobs, right.

Speaker 7 (14:05):
Never wear anything with a button. And I didn't do it.
I didn't bring it in and then it started bucketing down.
He was working from home.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
He was filthy with me, so.

Speaker 9 (14:14):
He went and had a sulk in his study where
he was working from home, and then I hear ding dong.
The postman came and I forgot another gift from past rio.
I bought Will a little surprise present. He's been really
getting into knitting lately, so I got him a bassinette
blanket kit to knit for his upcoming nephew.

Speaker 1 (14:33):
Because he said he was going to knit himself a
shirt for the weekend. Because I'm meeting Will for the
first time, and I'm nervous if you tell me he's
going to be in a knitted suit like a little
tea caddy tec.

Speaker 7 (14:44):
He's in a woolen suit. I believe not.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
He's knitted himself.

Speaker 9 (14:50):
And so the postman came with this present that I
forgot about. And then I answered the door, had the
present given to me by the postman, walked straight into Will,
gave him this present, and I was back.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
I was back in the game. At the drop of
the sea, saw that's the relationship. I'm a Monday lucy. Yesterday,
I thought it was gifting Future. It should a gift
by making him a sandwich for day. It's a busy
day today, so I thought I'd have a sandwich midshow
at eight hur and the News and sport. They're going
to have a little time for me. However, you put that,
you make that sandwich and it's it was quite I

(15:22):
guess there's too many ingredients. So I've got sliced turkey,
cost lettuce, tomato or mayonnaise. You put it all together.
You put it in his sandwich bag, but it's not
structurally together.

Speaker 7 (15:34):
And the tomatoes soggy.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
So what's happened is in the bag coming in this morning?
It's now it's a mess. Yeah, no, it's now. Basically
the sandwich bag is the breakfast. Just reach in, got Dorito's.
It's a snack back all it's all jumbled up. It's
like closed after a spin cycle for twenty minutes.

Speaker 9 (15:53):
Are you doing that because yesterday you tried to have
peanut butter toast in between his song and then couldn't speak.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Because I had to do a whole break.

Speaker 5 (16:03):
I need to wrap it in some wax paper.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah, but then how do you keep that from unraveling.

Speaker 5 (16:09):
Nice and firm and then put it in a sandwich bag?

Speaker 1 (16:12):
You know what I need to get Your boyfriend will
to knit me something that I can wrap my sandwiches
in a knitted sandwich bag. Could you please, thank you
and bring it Saturday.

Speaker 3 (16:25):
The Christian O'Connell Show.

Speaker 1 (16:27):
Podcast, Christian, I also make a sandwich the night before,
put it in a sandwich bag, zip it up. Then
I need the little opening and I suck the air
out like a mini vacuum bag. You know when you're
sawing clothing, you've done that. Those things are brilliant. Zero
movement in transportation to the work site. You're welcome, Lee,

(16:49):
I use this tonight as a gift to future Christian
you're passing on. I love this so you because those
vacuum seal bags you have, you usedones you get.

Speaker 7 (17:00):
A hair dryer and for like the big doners and stuff.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
Yeah yeah, yeah, they're great, aren't they? So is Lee
our correspondent here? Is he sucking out the air himself?

Speaker 7 (17:10):
Yes? I imagine? So who else is going.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
To be doing it? Hey?

Speaker 3 (17:13):
Right?

Speaker 1 (17:13):
It's a stretch thing to say to your partner, can
you suck the air out of my sandwiches? But it's
too passive aggressive, isn't it? What do you say? I'm
going to play something that really lit me in the
team up yesterday. I actually watched it and I was
tearing up. I must have watched this back over ten
times and I shared it with the team. It was

(17:35):
so big in America. It was the Screen Actors Guild
Big Awards, so ahead of the forthcoming Oscars. You've got
all the actors, producers, directors in one room. But it's
a very, very high accolade. It's some people that's revered
more than the Oscars in a way because the way
it's voted anyway. Getting a Lifetime Achievement Award yesterday was
Harrison Ford. Now, Harrison Ford. I can't think of another

(17:58):
actor in my lifetime whose work has spanned all of
my life, from when I was like seven or eight
just seeing him as hand solo and being in aree
of him. Then when I was a teenager Indiana Jones
and wanting to be that sort of wise cracking adventurer
even when he was facing his own death at that
funny one line, it's not that great it to be
that person in life. And then in Shrinking that TV

(18:21):
show for me, I can never recommend enough. You know,
if you're Friday on the show, we do double thumbs up.
Shrinking to me is one of the best TV shows
the last ten years. It's like an emotional support blanket
to me and my family. It's an incredible show. Harrison
Ford is eighty three and this work that he's doing
right now in Shrinking, where he's being more vulnerable than
hand solo or he and Janna Jones, she's seeing a

(18:42):
real human being still with that pithy, funny wise one liner.
It's still that there and that twinkly's got his eye,
but he's showing us what it's like to grow old gracefully.
It's an incredible TV show. And it's not just Harrison
Ford's great in that show either. But anyway, yesterday he
does this speech and it was the brit Awards over

(19:03):
the weekend, and it really bugs me out. These days
you see a lot of these celebrities go up there
with their iPhone, they read a prepared speech from their phones.
I don't get it. It's like, what are you so
frightened of speaking from the heart? Maybe you stumble or
something like that. We need more realness, we need authenticity
in the world. We don't need more creative, prepared, filtered,

(19:24):
inauthentic speeches. So what Harrison Ford did yesterday, he spoke
from the heart. I'm going to play a minute of it.
I heard you today. Go watch the full eight and
a half minutes. It will just give you something. Yesterday
I saw a speech of that was heart. It had vulnerability.
Most importantly, it had gratitude of a life well lived.
Listen to this from the one and only, the Great
Harrison Ford.

Speaker 11 (19:44):
I was failing at school. I felt isolated along and
then I found the company of people putting on please storytellers.
People I once thought were misfits and geeks turned out
to be my people. I found a calling, a life

(20:05):
in storytelling, and an identity in pretending to be other people.
The stories we tell have a unique capacity to create
moments of emotional connection. They bring us together. So while
we're all at different stages of our lives and careers,
in this room, we all share something fundamental. We share

(20:29):
the privilege of working in the world of ideas, of empathy,
of imagination. Sometimes we make entertainment, sometimes we make art.
Sometimes we're lucky we make them both at the same time.
And if we're really fortunate, we also get to make
a living doing it.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
Is that incredible speech eighty three years of age when
the camera pans around. You see the next generation of Howisonce.
You know you got Manti Supreme, Timothy Shamane's there, and
you go all the other great acts as well. They're
all literally mouth agape. They're hanging on every single word
in room. I'll watch it online House and Forward getting
his Lifetime Achievement Award.

Speaker 3 (21:10):
The Christian O'Connell show podcast.

Speaker 1 (21:13):
Your partners will message you during the show whilst you're
doing a very very very very very very very very
tricky thing. Just messed me going. The cat's making a
strange noise. What do you want me to do? Leave
the show?

Speaker 7 (21:28):
That dog on fire right now?

Speaker 1 (21:30):
Maybe Larry the cat knows whe's it?

Speaker 7 (21:33):
Incessant?

Speaker 9 (21:33):
I got one on Friday about hey, when was the
last time you worded the red spiky plant?

Speaker 7 (21:38):
I think we're overwater.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Deal with this later after nine. Oh my god, we're
up in the air and a spacecraft speaking to all
of Australia. Just Chris content to you and question.

Speaker 5 (21:49):
It's usually I can't find this or I can't find that.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
What is it?

Speaker 5 (21:52):
Sports to day for it? Today?

Speaker 1 (21:57):
The roles a reverse Chris is getting already ready for school,
isn't he?

Speaker 5 (22:01):
It's a great job, but don't text.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
Me to you relieve though I was always every day
closing that door until you do. We call this work
because actually, for these precious few hours, even though it's
all unpredictable, it can be anything, it's still so much
easier and your time is controlled. Compared to when you're

(22:24):
a mom and dad getting already for school run it's.

Speaker 5 (22:26):
Chaos, especially now she's a teenager.

Speaker 8 (22:28):
I think I've got the best end of the stick
most definitely, because you know they're a bit grouchy in
the morning, and.

Speaker 10 (22:33):
Poor Bonnie, she's got three little tigers morning on one, Lenk.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
How does she deal with the a recovery?

Speaker 10 (22:38):
It's going well, yeah, it's getting She walked downstairs for
the first time a few days ago, which is great.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
You make it sound of that movie Misery Escaped. And
so how is it going. She she's getting better. She
is getting better. It's great.

Speaker 10 (22:53):
It's it's just such a load off everyone, including herself
and me and the kids, because it's it's a big
deal when you when your partner gets surgery and it
was on her meniscous surgery to her miniscus and she's
walking around and it's good yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
But it's hard.

Speaker 10 (23:05):
It's been really hard, especially that morning school run. Something
as simple as that. You know, it's I think I've
done the school on probably ten times. Yeah, seriously, and
the kids will always go.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
Dad, well, daddad is it's so calm, and he always
gets us to earlier. My wife, you to see the red.
I'd be like, guys, this is what you call one hit.
Wonder if this was five days a week, very grumpy
dad suddenly hero turning up, washed and shaved, ready for
a victory lap, essentially knowing he's never going to have
to do this for another year or two. You're going
to get the best version of me. But that's not

(23:36):
real me, or that's not sustainable. Yes, it's a mirage.
All right. Welcome to the bright side of the dial, and.

Speaker 9 (23:45):
Always look on the bright the dial.

Speaker 7 (23:53):
The Christian car show, well make.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
It, I'll show we call the bright side of the dial.
So if you're tuning into the bright sild dial, you
might be a new listener, you might be someone who's
been with us for a while. You are the bright side.
But it's now the first time ever we really want
to build a community and in a circle with all
of us bright Siders. And so if you join the

(24:17):
bright Siders and become a bright Sider Platinum Club member,
you get private access to our inner circle. This private
Facebook group we put up the daily time wasters the
day before, you get first alerts abound, a lot of
things we're thinking about doing on the show. You get
us in there, and you get each other as well.
Every Friday you get a message from me straight into
your inbox. I'm now because the best acoustics, because now

(24:41):
this is every Thursday, I record the message and it
gets emailed out to the bright Side. It's automatic on
the Friday. The best acoustics in the house now is
in our walking wardrobe. Okay, it's literally the closet cast.
I go in there with a cup of tea and
I'm in there. My wife is like, you're doing that
thing again. The bright Side is the lighthouse thing. And
then we get me go into the wardrobe and speak
to myself in there. I reckon I could do a

(25:01):
show in there because you got all the clothes. Oh
wife's stresses. It's like, I fact, if we added some
sits into the studio, we'd trust me, we'd have better
soundproof and in a few shoes, I bring some in,
I bring some racks in tomorrow. Amongst the racks the
rat cast and you also get your own membership card
as well. So this morning we're giving away memberships to

(25:23):
our inner circle, the bright Siders. This morning, all you
have to do, you don't need to call in. You
could just text in the word bright Side to our
text number, our show text number oh four seven five
O three one oh four three. Caitlin, Is that right?
They just got a text bright Side and they get
a private link return to them.

Speaker 6 (25:41):
Yes, so they will get a text message that will
send them to go and sign up and then they
get into our Facebook group as easy as that.

Speaker 4 (25:47):
Just text bright Siders.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
Right Siders oh four seven five three one oh four three.
This morning, though, I'm only giving away memberships two three
types of human beings, trade ees, single parents, and triple
zero workers. So whether you're an ambo, a paramedic, a
five fighter, you work for the police and all the

(26:11):
other people that work with them behind the scenes, invisible
but very much visible and appreciated by all of us.
You as well, please text now bright Siders two O
four seven five three one oh four three.

Speaker 3 (26:23):
Welcome the Christian O'Connell show podcast.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
If you want to come and join and become a
Plantnum club member for our bright Siders. We call the
show the bright Side or the Dial. All you have
to do this morning. If you are a trade you
work for triples zero, any of the supports staff, and
you're also a single parent, you just text the word Brightsiders,
just bright Siders too, oh four seven five O three

(26:49):
one oh four three and the Inner Circle doors will
be opened and the greatest party on Earth. You'll be
invited to come join us and our inner sanctum. Christian Tyson,
the Corker, has just become a bright Sider. One exciting moment. Welcome,
the Caucers are here. Welcome to listen to us in Sydney.

(27:10):
Warren Holman, who is a paramedic and a chaplain, thank
you for what you do. Are incredible work. Christian. I'd
love to become a bright Side. A single parent. Work
in the labs doing test results, and I'm recovering from
tongue cancer but back at work working hard, so I
hope you're recovering really well. We'd love to have you
in the bright Siders all right time, Now, talk about

(27:33):
your pet peeves.

Speaker 8 (27:34):
Ease to make you go even get me started today,
ease to make you go, do not go to work?

Speaker 1 (27:42):
Man, get it off your chest now with things that
make you go, goir your pet Peeves, Patsy, what is
it for you? Let me get something to do with
driving parking?

Speaker 5 (27:50):
No, not this week.

Speaker 8 (27:51):
I thought i'd changed it up a bit. What is
it with glass shopping boards? I don't like them. I
don't get them. I will never own one.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
They're all for you only ever see them in airbnbs
and straight away. I don't know what They're cheaper than
the respected, wouldn't one that horrible clang as the blade
hits the glass.

Speaker 8 (28:11):
It's just the whole sensory experience is way off for me.

Speaker 5 (28:16):
The ground of it, the feel of it, everything.

Speaker 8 (28:18):
I don't like. Pitching and stupid pictures in them. I
don't like them.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
You never see them at homes. It's only.

Speaker 7 (28:27):
Terrible, terrible for your knives as well.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Blunting the blade.

Speaker 9 (28:31):
Yeah, it seems dangerous. I'm always worried it's going to
slip off as well.

Speaker 8 (28:34):
I think they're hygienically better than wood, big wood.

Speaker 5 (28:39):
You know, we've got like a big slab I'm not.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
Sure about that. We need to Can we find out?
Are they better or more hygienic? As long as you're
watching that wooden board? What is it? As long as
you're sterilizing?

Speaker 7 (28:50):
Especially?

Speaker 1 (28:51):
Do you know I do boil the kettle and just
chuck it over it enough?

Speaker 7 (28:57):
I think it does about some no dishwashing liquidor and
check that.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
On first, so it's too hold. You know, it's epic fury.
I go epic fury on that shop on board. It's
too prong attack And I said, the US has yet
to come.

Speaker 8 (29:10):
Do you find though? Are you the like me, the
only one in your family that cleans it properly? Everyone
else just leaves scraps on it, which I really dislike.

Speaker 9 (29:18):
But how do you get Does anyone know how to
get stains out of a wooden shopping board?

Speaker 7 (29:21):
I would love to know. I've still got some red
tumoric stage.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
Certain certain spices and powders will stain it.

Speaker 5 (29:29):
I think comes Chef's use bleach.

Speaker 1 (29:31):
Don't they yet to sat Chef rams at the end
of an episode, just bleach chucking bleach that join me
next week? Full each everything? Right now? They set fire
to the kitchen.

Speaker 9 (29:42):
See put that guy messaging yesterday told us to stop
making stuff up.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
Make it up if you don't know about it.

Speaker 5 (29:51):
Pretty sure they do well.

Speaker 1 (29:52):
Yeah, and you think about that that glass chopping board
you've never seen actually a TV cookie show with where
they've got that horrible clanging. We hate watching it. You
turn it off. Wouldn't you be a rating skinner? Ria?
What's the thing that makes you go? Girl?

Speaker 9 (30:06):
The new phenomenon of concert major conscience, big artists doing
concerts during the week day on school nights. I hated
it used to always be on weekends, and now I'm
trying to go tame in power that only on a
Wednesday was a Sunday.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
This was a Sunday where you know you're going to
be tired tomorrow, but I want to live my life.

Speaker 9 (30:25):
I went to block party on a Sunday and it
was They were great, but the vibe was off because
everyone knows you're raining.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
You're not bringing out Frank the Tank on a Sunday
night exactly, because must be.

Speaker 9 (30:37):
Everyone was just sort of bobbing around. You're not exerting
yourself on a Sunday night.

Speaker 1 (30:42):
Friend of mine went a couple of months ago. They
went to see Keith Urban and it was a Sunday
night and he comes out and it's just deadly quiet,
and he goes, all right, it sucks. I'm angry. I
didn't realize we had a Sunday night talking until last
week and I kicked off. So let's just talk about
the lef of the room. No one wants to be
in on a Sunday, but I'm here, the bandit here.
We're going to put on a show for you guys.

(31:03):
And then it just he was He was incredible, but
everyone was like, oh, he gets does he know as
rock stars. I don't think they have a calendar. It's
all just whatever day. He knows it's Sunday. It sucks
the bats he gets us. Yes, he's going to go
and do a shift. Alex, what's it for you when
you feel like your car at the servo?

Speaker 10 (31:19):
You get back in the car, you know, I've just
I've just put some nice cheap fuel on the car.

Speaker 1 (31:22):
You get in the car, you drive down, you say cheap.
If you're at the.

Speaker 5 (31:25):
Next servo, like one cent, Alex said, annoy, No.

Speaker 10 (31:30):
This one was two dollars. Third end yesterday. I drive
in the car and it's a dollar ninety nine at
makes servo.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
Oh my god, oh my word, that adds up over you.
It's about what thirteen bucks? I guess fourteen dollars every
dollar count, Yeah, says a guy with two jobs, Yeah,
two banning radio and TV exactly. Get all right? What
is it for you? What is your pet? Peeves? The
thing that makes you go grou.

Speaker 3 (31:56):
The Christian O'Connell show podcast.

Speaker 1 (31:59):
Your pet peeves ey Tuesday on the show Things will
make you goog for me yesterday? Windscreen wipers that it's
like sixteen settings? Are that one which is too slow?
Like if you need this BS one it can't be rainy?
You know that one where it's five minutes? Not number one?

(32:20):
This ain't new in anything.

Speaker 7 (32:21):
When would you ever need Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 1 (32:23):
Have this is not an option. You only need this.
It isn't raining, okay? And then that what's that one
where it's like too quick? I can't say this is hazardous,
so stressful. Just take up the sixteen even white pro settings.

Speaker 5 (32:40):
Here, set them on the don't you have it on
automatic where they just come on?

Speaker 1 (32:44):
I don't trust that? Really? No? How does it really?

Speaker 6 (32:48):
No?

Speaker 1 (32:50):
No? No, no, no no, no deep fakes yeah, exactly
on the Chinese known how wet it is here in Australia,
accept the cockies. Yesterday I needed to get into my daughters.
Can't need a driver, okame mine had broken down again.

(33:11):
I think there's something wrong with it. It's the second time.
So I just stole my daughter's car, even though actually
would have mean stole it. I actually it's my car.
It is her car, but it's my car. So I
drove off and she called me about five minutes later.
Have you just taken my car? Went? I have, but
you don't need it right now. Anyway. I had to
call her back because suddenly I was on a freeway

(33:31):
and it was one hundred and trying to get the
right wiper setting, and I suddenly didn't panic pulled a lever.
Suddenly it set a limiter for thirty three k's and
I'm on a hundred right and I'm going I'm boring it.
It's like drupping miss stasy. I started to really pan
it go on my people by me angry trades and

(33:51):
I get it, guys, I'd be fuming right now. And
it was like four o'clock. It's that people just want
to get home and there's some dotted old get you
know who's in the car. It would only go it's
like a reverse speed. I couldn't get it over thirty three.
So I ring there and go why do you turn
the limitter off? She's like, well, how do you turn
the limit off? I'm on the freeway.

Speaker 7 (34:12):
It's one hundred.

Speaker 1 (34:14):
For somebody say it's only thirty. Why would you said
it to thirty three? She had to talk me how
to do it. It's if I was in charge of
your plane. She's at a traffic control at nineteen.

Speaker 7 (34:24):
That is not good for the bread.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
So frightened. I was very, very frightened. The other thing
that really annoys me, my giant pet peeve is people
who suddenly they get to the front of the counter
and then they start to look at the menu. Oh god,
I'm not so sure actually, oh, and I started questioning it.
Oh does this one come with you?

Speaker 8 (34:45):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (34:46):
Now you had minutes to be doing that. Yes.

Speaker 9 (34:49):
What do you think about people at ice cream shops
trying the ice cream before you get out?

Speaker 7 (34:53):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (34:54):
Great, get out, and do you know what, walk into
the sea. Get in the sea. You're not adding to society.

Speaker 9 (34:59):
Yes, you've got to be bold enough at least have
the courage to make a decision about ice cream.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
Come on, do you know who? I just want to
take a moment of the show today to thank the
unsung heroes that take photos of menus and then upload
them onto Google reviews. I've just suddenly thought about this.
I'm always grateful that someone does that. Yes, and I
appreciate because they never get thanked. There should be an
awards just like the Oscars. Yes, who are those people

(35:28):
that upload photos of menus? Because you know, you don't
want to go to the website and leave like Google
reviews and stuff like that. And it's never I always appreciate.
It's never a very good photo. It's always like a
slight tilt or there's a flash because it's a bit
shiny and maybe the rushing. But if you've ever done that,
thank you.

Speaker 7 (35:46):
It's a true selfless thing.

Speaker 1 (35:47):
You never get thanked in this life, but I'm thanking you.
There's nothing in it for The unsung heroes of societies
are the people that actually take photos of post them
on Google of menus. If that's you, thank you. We
see your work.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
Christian following on from your ice cream conversation, I once
saw a French guy come into a surf shopping manly
tray out all the tests of sunscreens and then just
walks straight back out to the beach. Who does that? Hey,
frendy non call?

Speaker 7 (36:21):
Can you just get my back?

Speaker 1 (36:23):
Is that right in the middle of the rongboards, Christian?
There is a free fuel app called fuel Spy topping
your postcode and it will crunch all the numbers for
you tell you the cheapest bang for buck if you're
filling up your tank. Ohy, fuel Spy, and a lot
of people are also fuel Finder, same kind of service

(36:44):
as well, but the most common one I'm seeing at
the moment that a lot of people are texting at
the moment is fuel Spy. It's a free app and
we'll tell you where you get the most bang for
buck when you're filling up. Which is a great idea. Now,
what an exciting moment for our team and one of us,
Producer Caitlin. Today's our last show with producer Caitlin. She

(37:04):
gets married this weekend on Saturday, and I need your stories.
These are not wedding fowls. It's not about doom and gloom,
not at all. What I need are our stories just
to warn young excitable Caitlin ahead of the big day.
She's planning to go and do a gym workout on
the morning of her wedding, and I'm saying that in

(37:27):
the morning of the wedding, you just got one job.
Do all the preparations, get in the dress, get to
the venue, enjoy a great day and party about you guys.
You don't want to take any it's the risks because
like anything happen. You got a gym, one of the
big lads there drop so a dumbbell on you or
kettell on your foot, You pull a hamstring, You're not
probably warned up. You could because you're all so excited.

(37:50):
You trip over your laces, lie out a bicep. Yes,
can tear something too easily, and then they're start drinking
at ten am. So we need wedding warning stories as
a friendly intervention.

Speaker 9 (38:04):
It's an interesting way to start the day with, you know, something.

Speaker 12 (38:08):
Really good for you, but also drinking strength after yees. Yeah,
I'd love to know the logical long day high emotions.
So there's already a fire, the passionate fire, Embrace of love.
Don't be pouring champagne on that too soon to get selling.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
That fight could burn out of control. And at seven
o'clock you're just a weeping mess. You've got the old
cure like the musca running around your face. You know
you're Robert Smith. I love you guys with the old
prosecco books in family members faces and your boss me
a lot. It's a long day, Kate, in a long

(38:46):
day yesterday, even talking about the speech, you're in tears
and we get it. It's a long day. My friend pays.

Speaker 4 (38:51):
Yourself, it is, and I will pace myself. I'm going
to take it easy. We've chosen a lower style of alcohol.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
Blo oh no, these are like clip clip this. I'm
playing it out. Yeah from MIDDI. I'm yet to see
MIDI champagne. What do you want to learn something blocked
the monk from the champagne regentcer or Australia where the
mid one is in the can? Or? Can I have you?
Do you do a goon champagne bag?

Speaker 4 (39:19):
No, only fancy stuff in the box for you? Yeah yeah, no,
I would never good quality.

Speaker 6 (39:26):
So that will help us kind of last through the
day when it's good quality champagne doesn't give you a headache.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
Who's got that? Yeah, I'm yet to experience that.

Speaker 4 (39:37):
Going to have two in the celebratory.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
Yesterday it was one yesterday you told me one. Now
it's two. By Friday it's six. It's the model was
open another one. That one's gone so easy, you will
know that. Let's go with tipsy. You just go work out.
Let's have a tipsy workout.

Speaker 4 (39:56):
No, we are going to work out early in the morning,
eight am. And is in our run sheet? We are
doing run sheet?

Speaker 1 (40:01):
What are you producing your own wedding? You've got a
better run sheet than the one you give me. Bs
about the show, none of it up.

Speaker 6 (40:09):
It even has the night before, the dinner we're having,
where it is which.

Speaker 1 (40:13):
Rooster you go into?

Speaker 6 (40:16):
And then the morning, what we're eating, what time we're
going to the gym, what's the free gym meal.

Speaker 4 (40:21):
That we're having.

Speaker 1 (40:22):
Hurry IV and just get kids and have a normal life.
It's too optimized.

Speaker 6 (40:26):
It is the biggest day of our lives, so we
want to ensure that we all sorted.

Speaker 1 (40:30):
Yeah, please save it all. It goes so quickly. Mac
enjoy or it's an amazing day. So we need wedding
warning stories because things and that's me touching wood listener.
Hopefully nothing is going to go wrong on your day,
which is where you stay indoors. If anything, stay under,

(40:52):
get under the bed, get under the bed. For all
we know, Old Trump, you might stop bombing Carlton, you know,
stay under the bed, get changed, under the bed, rolled
out from under the bed, get in the car, meet
your old man, sign your vows and all that you're married.
Job done, jump done, don't don't roll the dice. Don't

(41:14):
many more years are you to go and do? Workout?
Am on a Saturday parting that day? Wedding warnings and
these are warnings. It's not doom and glue. It's warnings.
It's a friendly intervention. So we need your stories. Now,
look what am I asking for? These our wedding fell stories.
Let's be honest, but these are wedding warning stories as well.

(41:34):
It's the hot it's the champagne glass half full of empty?
Or is it just been dropped on your foot and
he now needs to go to an emergency department to
need stitches? Perhaps, have you got a wedding warning story?

Speaker 8 (41:43):
Yes, I am from the bush from country Victoria and
one of my cousins got married.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
Every day we pay a heavy price, don't we and radio.

Speaker 5 (41:53):
Listening and you will with it.

Speaker 8 (41:55):
No, she had her reception at the local hall, you know,
well just about it was.

Speaker 5 (42:00):
It was pretty basic. But anyway, all my aunts.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
Everyone got a complimentary technic shop.

Speaker 5 (42:06):
All my aunts did the catering. They're amazing cooks.

Speaker 8 (42:09):
And in there was this big one thing spam fret mom,
big dresser in the middle of the room with all
their beautiful crockery, you know, all their china and crystal
that brought out all the good stuff. Only one of
the legs suddenly collapsed on the trestle.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
I thought meant from one of the answers. We all
know a family member that when their legs gives water in.

Speaker 8 (42:31):
The night, and all the food just slid down theres
onto the floor.

Speaker 5 (42:37):
Fruit salad with your ham salad, with.

Speaker 1 (42:40):
The ham salad. But come one hamming fruit salad.

Speaker 7 (42:46):
Mixed. They might have done your favorite exactly.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
I reckon someone took that on purpose. Why is that, uncle,
they're soaring one of the legs. You saw nothing.

Speaker 5 (42:55):
It was disastrous.

Speaker 8 (42:57):
And my uncle, who was the bride's father, had to
go and do a KFC run because.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
There's no But I don't think everyone's there was no food.
I don't learn some monkey judging non a food. You
don't know what hygiene level. Well, you've got glass chopping
board on it.

Speaker 5 (43:12):
So he came back with all these buggers the chicken.

Speaker 13 (43:16):
Very class.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
That's what we should be doing Saturday. Save their money,
all right. Wedding warning stories, What bad thing happened on
the good day?

Speaker 3 (43:23):
The Christian O'Connell show podcast.

Speaker 1 (43:27):
I'm looking for your wedding warning stories participated leaves our
show today. She's getting married this weekend. Punish she needs
three days to sleep in. It's just that generation, you know,
you're just like, yeah, whatever.

Speaker 7 (43:39):
Don't forget the week after.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
Oh yeah, carry on the sleeping Christian wedding warning story.
In the morning. My wedding, I wanted to get rid
of nervous energy. I went mountain biking in the Blue Mountains.
I've been there. It's just like, that's extreme. That is extreme.
Guess what happened? He went over the handlebars on his
wedding day. There was no wedding for him. He was

(44:02):
an emergency. Oh Christian, I was bored out with my brain.
On my wedding day. Ceremony was at three pm, drags
in the morning, everyone else getting their head unorganizing wedding cars.
I was stuck at home waiting for my hand test
to turn out. When she did, my mum wrote to her
and to do my younger sister first hair before mine.

(44:23):
So ended up being an hour eight to the ceremony.
My husband thought I had changed my mind and left
them standing at the altar for an hour. Of course
she's going to just presume and not think that everyone
would have done. Everyone has started leaving. How long do
you wait?

Speaker 7 (44:37):
Yeah, half an hour.

Speaker 1 (44:39):
I am done after ten minutes.

Speaker 7 (44:41):
Just start going.

Speaker 1 (44:42):
I'm really sorry. All right, So your wedding warning story
is Steve, good morning.

Speaker 13 (44:48):
Good morning everybody.

Speaker 1 (44:49):
Morning.

Speaker 13 (44:50):
Congratulations to Kaitlin. One thing you've just got to remember,
particularly for the ladies. I know, it's all a great
fun time. And have a couple of champagne, which is awesome,
and you've got your breakfast planing that you must eat
throughout the day.

Speaker 1 (45:04):
The ladies.

Speaker 13 (45:05):
There's particularly the ladies. Otherwise two glasses of champagne will.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
Feel like ladies, classic ladies.

Speaker 13 (45:10):
And like my daughter's wedding after two glasses of champagne.
She's a lady. She had a couple of glasses champagne
with all the rest of them, and they almost get
a hangover because I haven't eaten. We had to do
a drive through run for maccas to get over them up.

Speaker 1 (45:28):
I know that kissing your Brian West of a nugget
coming through.

Speaker 13 (45:33):
It was just one of those seeds.

Speaker 1 (45:35):
Just remember to eat, ladies. Ladies, one glass of champagne.
He's going to five to a man. You know. Please
know the ratio, ladies, if you're listening right now, are
just everything because you're a lady.

Speaker 7 (45:49):
He obviously hasn't met Pats with that ratio.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
What are you saying she drinks a lot of champagne.

Speaker 5 (45:55):
I do have a good constitution.

Speaker 1 (45:57):
Yes, you've got constipation.

Speaker 5 (45:59):
I've got a good institution.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
Issues off the microphone.

Speaker 8 (46:02):
And Caitlin go like wine then a water. I was
very dehydrated on my wedding day. I didn't drink enough water.
It's just like, yeah, no drink it.

Speaker 1 (46:10):
Feels like the press release from it between Jones hadn't
had enough water. What's the other side of that? What
had she had too much? For every reaction, every reaction, Eileen,
you got a wedding warning story for us.

Speaker 14 (46:27):
I certainly do be careful who you book your transport through.
My limousine never showed up?

Speaker 1 (46:33):
Oh no, what do you mean?

Speaker 14 (46:35):
Yeah, yeah, well I booked it through like just online
and it was one hundred and fifty dollars a post
and you paid the rest on arrival and they never
showed up.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
Oh my, so what happened? How did you get there?

Speaker 14 (46:48):
So my niece who was on her peas had to
come back.

Speaker 15 (46:51):
From the ceremony.

Speaker 14 (46:52):
They were all waiting and had her and her partner
had to come back in two cars and in a
Mazda and a miss and Patrol and we all had.

Speaker 1 (47:01):
Classy. That is so funny.

Speaker 14 (47:04):
The ironic thing was probably about an hour before that,
I had actually said we had one car at home,
which was a little clear rio, and I actually laughed
and said, imagine if the transport didn't show up, we'd all.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
Wow, wow, incredible, great story. I mean, thank you very
much to call on the show now, Pittus Kate, and
I've actually got you a gift. I brought this last
week when I heard there was rumors of having a
glass of Bubbly on the big day. I bought it
last week and I took it into our meet room
and hit it because I was worried that a disconuntled
team member of which all of you are, might steal

(47:41):
from from me. And I'll tell you all morning where
have I hidden it? It was behind the couch. I've
now just found it, but I forgot the wedding bag,
so all I can find is one of those office
mininner envelopes. Oh no, My message on here is Kitan.
Please consume slowly. Thanks all of your guests, Rio if
you could take that to Kate and please that is
your first wedding gift from me to you.

Speaker 4 (48:03):
Enjoy your big day.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
And if you're going to have a glass champagne, have
a decent one.

Speaker 4 (48:08):
It now like as he loves to fish the show.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
No no, no, no no, that's a Saturday morning. Okay,
what ballunchin.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
Much?

Speaker 1 (48:18):
You weren't meant to read it out on air.

Speaker 5 (48:20):
This is Saty.

Speaker 1 (48:23):
You're a fancy lady. Okay, please drink it slowly. I
shall all right enjoy your special day. You deserve it.

Speaker 3 (48:30):
The Christian O'Connell show podcast, All right.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
Yesterday I was talking about this incredible story that one
of you told me. Over the weekend, I met an
American listener to the show, Dennis with one n told
me a wild story. At the end of it said
Christian whouldn't make it up. And it was one of
those stories. It was a true story of a very
quiet suburb in Los Angeles. A one day, nine year
old girl was on the school bus. She's on a
school run. She looks outside the window. She sees a

(48:57):
tiger licking, an actual tiger licking its paws behind the
Target store. Incredible on there a dad who happened to
be a game warden didn't believe her, thought it was
obviously a very fertile aagination as daughter. But then it
turns out there really was an escaped tiger. In LA
You've got a lot of very crazy rich people. We've
got a lot of actors and producers and stuff like this.

(49:17):
They have these private zoos. It's okay to have a
private zoo, and sometimes they're not very well run. And
someone just hadn't shut the tiger in. It just wandered off.
We've all been went down to Target in the South.
So anyway, I'm now on a search. That's a great
story in America. There must be an amazing wild story
we can find this week right here in Australia. We're

(49:39):
calling it. You couldn't make it up, the best most
wild story we get from one of you this week.
By the end of the week, wherever you are listen
to the show to combant on the show, we will
fly you here and I'll take you out for lunch.
You can hang out on the show, do the show
with us, meet the whole team. But I really want
to meet you whoever has got the story. Now, a
lot of stories have come in the last twenty four hours.

(50:00):
I'm not looking for a story that involves an animal.
I'm being overwhelmed at the moment with stories that involve
an animal because you heard the tiger story. Just any
story it's not related to animals, Okay, there's some. Jane
Krishna was sitting on my dinner table having dinner, and
all of a sudden I had a commotion outside the bankyard,
looked up and saw an eagle land of killer rabbit.
That isn't going to win it. This is good, though,

(50:21):
wrong Win Christian. This is a real life You couldn't
make it up story. I'm a retired cop, but I
tended a job where the head chef in a kitchen
just dropped dead cutting up lobsters for the one hundred
and eighty wedding guests that were about to arrive. He
was dead on the kitchen floor, with the other chef
still working around him plating up seafood. This mind you,

(50:45):
sue the boss if I if I hit the deck,
someone else would just replace me while I'm still here,
probably for a couple of days, Ai voice, Probably a
plan for this right now, chilling. I was working with
a young female constable with three weeks into job where

(51:07):
we had to drag got one hundred and twenty kilo
dead chef out the kitchen into the boardroom before one
hundred and eighty wedding guests arrive. Come on, This is
like a dark comedy scene, isn't it? Funeral? Actually Fell
was trying to drag him through the dining room and
fell on top of him at one point, and all
I could do was laugh. Somehow we got him into

(51:30):
the boardroom and down a goods lift before the wedding
guests arrived. Come on, Come on, Oh.

Speaker 9 (51:37):
Nohing sacred, no no, and you count till the wedding either.

Speaker 1 (51:41):
No, no, no ye. Funny story, funny story just happened.
You couldn't make it up? Is this thing on? Brenton? Christian?
I heard your story about the line next door, Line
next door. The story is about a family. My partner
was dating someone. His parents had a baby chimpanzee living
in the house. They were professors and they were writing
a paper about chimpanzees being brought up as a child

(52:04):
in a family of humans. That's I'm not sure about this.
What kind of Australian research fellowships that raising a chim
so her boyfriend became chimp boy? Okay, that's the story.
You ain't being flown too.

Speaker 7 (52:26):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (52:27):
This is enough. And then look, I don't even what
to do with this story, you know, the one I'm
talking about.

Speaker 7 (52:33):
I'm scared.

Speaker 1 (52:34):
Should I read down?

Speaker 7 (52:36):
Come on?

Speaker 1 (52:36):
This story ends with sadly someone losing their life to.

Speaker 7 (52:39):
Crocodile and we don't think that's funny.

Speaker 1 (52:41):
That's not funny. It's not funny, but it's an incredible story.
It is an incredible story. If I lose my life
to a crocodile, tell about story. Okay, you have my permission,
Thank you, Christian. I was meant to getting married. My
fiance didn't turn up. Sorry to hear that this is
now quite a few years ago. Peter's okay. Now we'd
already paid for everything, including the photographer keyword here. The

(53:05):
photographer also no longer around. You probably put the piece
of story together. They promised to do family photos anyway
whilst the guests were there. You've really got to fake
it to make it a photo where the pork groom
has been stood up. But oh paid for this. I say,
we just go outside in the sunshine bit of a
day like this, let's not waste it. Take some happy

(53:26):
family snaps.

Speaker 9 (53:27):
Big smiles, everyone, big smile, Maybe not the groom.

Speaker 1 (53:30):
You sit this one out, mate. This incredible what happens
in real life, isn't it. The first delay was a
photographer then went on holiday to Darwin and said when
they got back, they'd send these family photos anyway, Sandy,
they lost their life to crocodile. They never came back
from Darwin, Christian and I never got the photos. Yeah,

(53:50):
I mean, it's not like you can turn up to
the wake and go, hey, is there any like Hard
Drive did they leave a laptop a sad day, you know,
you know, and to pay more respects, but also just
get my photos. You couldn't make it up? What's your story?

Speaker 3 (54:08):
The Christian O'Connell show podcast.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
Got an email here. We're looking for incredible stories this week.
You couldn't make it up, Christian. Many years ago, I
was a kindergarten teacher. One day when the kids brought
in a big Lego pirate ship for show and tell.
This was a big ticket item. Everything was fascinated, so
we really paid it up, using our best pirate voices,
improving some stories. I was talking about talking about the
little Lego plank and started planting about a little mini

(54:35):
figure walking the plank and getting eaten by shots. At
this point, one the mom's present ran out of the
room sobbing. Hang and I'm just gonna I'm not reading
out the next two nights. What why would you send
that to us? Like, I know, yeah, we know where
it's going. All right, let's go to a caller right now.

(54:55):
This slimp goes Donna.

Speaker 15 (54:58):
Good morning, Good morning, Christian, Good.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
Morning, Donna. Welcome to the show. Now, what is your
incredible story for us? You couldn't make it up.

Speaker 15 (55:05):
Don My late father got his soul. He was in
his early nineties and he ran over himself in his
own car while my mother was sitting in the passenger
beat well his needed He got out to ask somebody

(55:36):
to move so he could park it where he wanted
to park it at the shopping center. He realized after
he got out that the car was still in gear
and tried to stop it himself. Ran over. His foot
fell to the ground. People were yelling out to my
mum to pull on the handbrake. She was screaming back,

(55:58):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (55:59):
Where it is.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
Knew they drove themselves home. She rang my sister to
say he drove himself home. They rang my sister to say,
I'm really sorry we couldn't get the chickens for Christmas
Day because Dad just ran over himself with the car.

Speaker 15 (56:23):
My sister raced over there to see what was happening.
My mother already had his pants off and washing them
in the laundry since because they had black tie marker
or when they took him. My sister took him to
the doctor. They X rayed him. Not one broken bone,

(56:46):
not a mark, not a scratch.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
His head.

Speaker 7 (56:50):
There's no brain in it.

Speaker 1 (56:53):
It's just twitty birds and rainbows. Wow, weething, Okay, everything
was fine. What a great story, though, Donna, this is
exactly the kind of because you actually couldn't make it up.
Couldn't make it up, us can say you've run over yourself.
It's impressive. None of us ever get to say that.

(57:13):
Don a brilliant story. You are the contender at the moment.
Well done. Ah, thank you, She's in pole position. Not
that pirate story. Let's just forget it, Kareem, don't email that.

Speaker 3 (57:26):
The Christian O'Connell show.

Speaker 1 (57:28):
Podcast, Christian the lady who's dad run over himself? I've
done that to myself. Wait this more of you. Janel
Berner pulled into my driveways, stopped at my letterbox as
so mail in the box, hadn't left it in part,
hadn't put the handbrake on. Also run over my foot.
It's a car roll back taking me out.

Speaker 7 (57:50):
Well, at least they're only a danger to themselves.

Speaker 1 (57:55):
All right to down the time waster for grabs again.
You and three mates off too, gold class. That's the
best in show today for your time wasters. Today's time wasters.
We're looking for your music. Cool meals songs as foods.
What is on the menu? Raspberry parfeber a silver. It's

(58:18):
a prince theme, wouldn't it be rice? Gold, red basket case.
That's gold, Sweet, Peas of mine silver. I bet you
like peas pets.

Speaker 8 (58:29):
I don't mind it, especially with its if it's a
bit of you know, with a bit of gravy and
you're having like a roast chicken, and you can all into.

Speaker 9 (58:36):
Kid what you do for kids, vegetables, that's what you do.

Speaker 1 (58:43):
Rick Assie is a little bit stingy if you come
around for a late night evening meal. Never going to
give you sup. He's never going to give you sup supper.
He's never going to give you supper. Don't go maunder
Assi's place. Silver plus Phil Connins, you can't curry love
oh gold, just another little pizza, My hearts Silver and
sex Bon Alaska plus Tom Jones is serving up good

(59:06):
pleasurely to like just on toast sex bomb Alaska. Real.

Speaker 9 (59:12):
What have you got at the Greek tavern? Yeah, they're
saying thank you for the mussaka.

Speaker 1 (59:17):
Oh very good. I like it.

Speaker 7 (59:19):
Yes, please Gold knock knocky on Heaven's door.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
Also gold.

Speaker 7 (59:24):
The kinkser are getting their daily fiber in today.

Speaker 9 (59:27):
Yeah, granola, yes, yes, silver and the heater is on.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
Oh that's very good as well. Silver. All right, what
have you got then? Songs as foods.

Speaker 3 (59:41):
The Christian o'connall Show podcast.

Speaker 1 (59:44):
Christian O'Connell Show. This week it's a national search who's
got the most incredible, barely believable story. I'm calling this.
You couldn't make it up, Christian, You couldn't make it up. Now,
the Golden Rulers, it must have happened to you. How
some of these are still good. So I'm gonna bend
the rules for this one. You don't believe it. My
brother is an insurance claim assessor. He had this job recently.

(01:00:09):
Guy was making an insurance claim, got out the shower,
he's naked, walks through the lounge room just to turn
the TV on. As he bends over to sort the
TV out, at that precise moment, the cat leaps up
and grabs his testicle and it gives as such a fright,
he put his head through the TV.

Speaker 7 (01:00:30):
They paid the insurance claim.

Speaker 1 (01:00:33):
What even is that? Why do you label that else?
Everything these days has to be filed and up at
the under a testicular feline accident.

Speaker 5 (01:00:43):
Was stuck in the telly.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
Still the cat would have thought someone sort of cat
speedbag the bag.

Speaker 7 (01:00:55):
You wouldn't make it up if.

Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
It No, you could make that up. Incredible scenes. Who's
that Ronald Ronald Weaver? Great name itself, have a prize
name like Ronald Weaver.

Speaker 7 (01:01:10):
I can see it's so clearly.

Speaker 1 (01:01:12):
To the TV. The head goes to the TV anyway,
were work with? That's right, we're on here and I'm
doing the time? Was so now?

Speaker 7 (01:01:19):
Which is musical meal?

Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
You got it? My friend sitting on a dock of Mornee.

Speaker 7 (01:01:25):
Oh clever. Silver Plus.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
The Eagles make it greasy, make kid greasy. See come on,
it's a radio add it's a movement. Luck be a
lady finger tonight. We will walk you.

Speaker 7 (01:01:43):
Silver Plus.

Speaker 1 (01:01:44):
That's a restaurant somewhere Australia. I touched my snacks. Bronson,
baby got back Lava.

Speaker 7 (01:01:51):
We love as Silver Plus.

Speaker 1 (01:01:54):
We like to parfe the younger boys. Gold on Jim.
She's got the Chuck Rock set. We are the Champagnels.
Oh my god, very good. Kate Krock and mooch Kate
Mush running up that hill up those Profoster, Roleste Crock

(01:02:15):
and Bush, silver Foot, Moose, Nicole very good. I want
that Narn, I want that gold up the granola up there.
Granola doesn't work until baby's got back ribs Silver Elvis
Viva Lasagna and I'm gonna start singing that now next

(01:02:38):
time I'm doing a lasagna whenever that might be. I
don't know. Ramusius Studio Silver plus, who fed the dog's trout?
Non enter Sanger Man often never never, Phil Connon's easy Pavlova,
silver case Sandwich Gold, that's very good, Sammy Boyd, the

(01:03:04):
parmer Man, Billy Johel sing me is so my man Gold,
the salad of John and Yoko Gold as well, Total
Luis Sonya Bronx, you know who it is? All right?
Who is today's winner?

Speaker 7 (01:03:21):
Sammi boy with Ky said witch.

Speaker 1 (01:03:25):
Really all right now, very special moment on the show.
Team is a great moment for Particiicatelyn. It's also a
win for us and we get a couple of days
keeping it bright and breeze in a little bits calm,
a little bit quieter around here. Partisic Caaitlyn is about

(01:03:47):
to leave the show for ten is it ten months?
She's got off for this wedding. She's about to leave
the show to go and get prepared to get married.
This weekend Partisicailyn. We will miss you deeply.

Speaker 3 (01:03:59):
Thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:04:00):
I am actually going to miss you as well.

Speaker 1 (01:04:02):
Hopefully not too much.

Speaker 4 (01:04:03):
No, I mean enough.

Speaker 1 (01:04:06):
It's going to missus enough now, so well leave you
to go and drink coffee through a straw for the
next couple days so you don't stain those pearly white veneers. Yes,
and have a lot of sleep.

Speaker 4 (01:04:16):
I will sleep a lot.

Speaker 6 (01:04:17):
I'll sleep past my three point fifty am alarm that
I ordinarily have. I will have a slow start to
my morning rather than the rush that I actually do
love of this morning, but just not in the lead
up to my wedding.

Speaker 4 (01:04:29):
And I will not be eating any curries.

Speaker 1 (01:04:31):
So the next time we see you, you'll be a
married lady.

Speaker 7 (01:04:34):
I really real issue.

Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
Hey, enjoy this week enjoy your special day as well,
and we will see you Saturday night for a big party.

Speaker 4 (01:04:43):
Thank you.

Speaker 5 (01:04:44):
I love you guys, so.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
You're so and good luck.

Speaker 3 (01:04:47):
Christian O'Connell show, go on podcast It's a chemist warehouse
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