FULL: How Bout Them Puppies

The show begins with Tombstone Texts leading to a deep dive into eco‑friendly dishwashing sheets, before shifting to the World Cup drama at Fed Square in Melbourne.

Then it’s a huge round of Small Thing, Big Joy, Caught With Your Pants Down moments and Clothing Movies for At Work Time Waster! 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:09):
iHeart podcasts.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
You can hear more Gold one I four point three podcasts,
playlist and listen live on the free iHeart app.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
Got anything Good? Hey?

Speaker 4 (00:20):
This is the Christian O'Connell show podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Hey this is Christian here. Thank you very much for
checking out today's show. Now, if you listen to our show,
you're already one of us. But why don't we take
it a step further? I invite you to join our
exclusive bright Siders Platinum Club. I'll started calling the show
the bright side of the Dial. It's our way of
letting you know what are shows about, what we stand for,

(00:44):
And the bright side is Platinum Club is our very
own inner circle. So come and join us. What do
you get when you join the bright Side is Platinum Club.
You get your own membership card. You can also get
access to our private inner circle. It's a private Facebook group.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
In there. Our first alerts early ideas.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
Before they become anything on the show, which means you
can outshape the show and also say no before something
becomes a bad idea on the show. You get the
time wasters the day before when Rie and I come
up with the ideas of the time wasters, you'll hear
them before anybody else. Also every Friday, dropping into your
inbox a unique private message from me to all the

(01:22):
bright Siders, only the bright Siders, not for on air.
So if you want to join us, the only thing
I need you to do is text the word bright
Siders to oh four seven five o three one oh
four three.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
I look forward to seeing you in there. And now
enjoy today's show.

Speaker 4 (01:38):
A Christian O'Connell show podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
Goome on in Rio.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
Good morning, good morning Alex, good morning, and good morning Patsy.
Now on a Thursday, we do a thing called tombstone
text as will we ask you to get your phone
out and what is the most recent text message at
the top of your phone, fling it over to me
on four seven five o three one oh four three,
and imagine now that whatever it says, that is your

(02:03):
tombstone forever, Patsy.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
What is you'll say?

Speaker 5 (02:06):
Yes from my husband last night, don't you mean dishwasher tablets?
So Chris had to go to the supermarket for me
because we're out of dishwasher stuff to put it through
and I am a convert to dishwasher sheets.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Oh yeah, my wife has got this recently.

Speaker 5 (02:23):
They're amazing so what we found more eco friendly? Yeah, yeah,
that is working.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
I've just got like a little tissue, isn't it.

Speaker 5 (02:30):
It really is like a tiny little tissue that you
think that couldn't possibly clean my Lazagnia dish, But oh
no it does, and you sort.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
Of fine advert there isn't it?

Speaker 2 (02:40):
Very very I always surprised if you see that advert
with pantsy on TV.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
Within but weeks that's right, but oh no.

Speaker 5 (02:47):
Oh but oh no it does and you're roasting dish, those.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
Greasy roasts biodegradable.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yeah, they're pretty the environment, you know, it doesn't clog
up the rivers and the oceans. And also it's it's
so small it won't ever bun up a dolphins blowhole. No,
And I said that to the supermarket, this isn't going
to blog up, blog up a bung up a dolphins bunghole.

Speaker 6 (03:07):
You're always worried about it, that's top of mindstantly always
think of them.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
In the environment. Brilliant.

Speaker 5 (03:12):
We were finding with the pods that they were leaving
a bit of a residue on some of the play streaking.
Well not only that, but you could kind of taste
it some days, And I thought this can't be good before.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
This is why we had to do it. My wife
seems to think she's got the most powerful smell.

Speaker 5 (03:25):
In the universe, but women do that.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
So she would get out, I'd make tea. She go
start to sticking her schnoz in the cut. Gup, don't
tell me you can't smell the I can't smell dishwasher residue.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
What are we detectives?

Speaker 6 (03:40):
You what a powerful schnotch?

Speaker 1 (03:41):
Yeah, no, no, no, you're gonna have to rinse it for
me three times.

Speaker 5 (03:44):
I know. Well that's what this was like. And we
were putting cycles back through and I thought, I've seen
these sheets, just knew at my local Willies. I'm going
to try them, and they're fantastic. I don't think I'll
ever go back. So you feel pretty smug, yes, because
you know you're doing good.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
These I kind of think that I'm sort of saying
to Sir David Attenborough, I've been watching and I'm acting.
It's taking quite a while, I mean, start changing some
my behavior. But yeah, they because I think a lot
of people worried that dude, because you don't get that
eco friendly washing up liquid.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
Yeah, but it's a bit like Cordial for plates.

Speaker 5 (04:16):
It's like it kind of runs out of patha.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
You then have to use like their entire litera just
to clean up after Patsy's the Sanya dish.

Speaker 5 (04:23):
But these aren't like it. It's brilliant. So the love
God was a little confused because I said, get tishwasher stuff.
So do you mean the pods that we've been using.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
To come back with bed sheets?

Speaker 5 (04:31):
No? No, you did come on to adairs.

Speaker 1 (04:32):
We've got bed sheets. Is that what you mean? We're
going to put them in a dish washer.

Speaker 5 (04:35):
I had to see him a photo of the box
under the sink, so I knew what to get because
it was only our local wallers. Anyway, there's only one
brand of these dish washing.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
You often see men just holding up their fine like
a cave man.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
Some way's low intelligence.

Speaker 5 (04:52):
You do or on Facebook or on FaceTime? Thank you?

Speaker 1 (04:57):
Not on Facebook, there we go nan.

Speaker 5 (05:00):
On FaceTime wives my face Pace tick face. But if
you are looking for try and they're fantastic. It's almost
a double thumbs this week. It's so good these sheep.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
All right, we emerge into I actually thought part halfway through,
perhaps he thinks we're doing.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
That Sherry Hard last night.

Speaker 4 (05:20):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Tombstone text is what we're doing right now. You send
to me the textus at the top of your phone
right now to four seventy five three one o four three.
Imagine that as your tombstone. What is it saying, Frank's tombstone?
How am I going to get to my car? What's
it that someone's stolen his shoes or his legs?

Speaker 6 (05:42):
Maybe it's the heavy rain in some states at the moment,
he's worried he's gonna have to run out to the car.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
Do you guys have a designated area where your brollys are?
We don't. It is chaos.

Speaker 6 (05:53):
My partner does it just inside the front door, and
I hate it.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
That's a smart place, buying the door outside the door,
inside the door is a smart place.

Speaker 6 (06:01):
He drives it out here unfold which I think he's
bad luck in a lot of culture, undry it.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
In the seven years seven years, bad luck.

Speaker 6 (06:12):
Explains a lot we have.

Speaker 5 (06:14):
We're quite fancy. We've got a hatstand, like an old
fashioned hatstand.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
Nice.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
So you know, we downsized a couple of months ago,
and so where the coats are and Brolli's and shoes
is in one of those tiny understairs cupboards.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
The door is tiny.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
I must be about three and a half foot to
open this door that's angled because the stairs HALFE can
imagine one of those like Harry Potter sell of Potter's
in there. So I opened up today and I had
to You can't walk in, Oh, you have to either
bend over. Today I had to go in on all fours,
rummaging around half forward, and I said, today, need to

(06:54):
get better trying to find a brolly.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
We need a brody place. This can't be under the stairs.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
Half the morning there's no light on in there, and
so I had to get my phone.

Speaker 6 (07:05):
Now.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
It was like doing some kind of plank workout because
there then they're only only three contacts with the grounds,
you know, an arm and two knees. I was setting
bear crawls in there. It's a vigorous workout. I just
got off the pedalton this. This is too much to
start telling this rummaging around for a bloody bronnie. We
need a better bronnie place a hat stand? Need a
hat stand?

Speaker 1 (07:26):
Yeah, all right, ro what's your tombstone? Text?

Speaker 6 (07:29):
Mine would be lightweight aluminum low back. I know it's Thursday,
but I am yet.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
To have I thought it's some grinder.

Speaker 6 (07:40):
I'm impressed you rinder. Anyway, I haven't yet got my
mom's mother's day prison. I know it's Thursday what we are,
but express post exists. I think hopefully you might be
able to get there.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
It's Thursday.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
The straight of horle Moves is not fully open, and
that's that's all that team of stuff the other side
of the straight.

Speaker 6 (08:06):
I'm getting a good quality local, it'll be fine. She
wants a beach chair.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
Oh, perfect, telling you to get one now we're in
winter low back. She obviously needs some umbrella on the
top of it. And one of our beach cabaners who's
getting at the I guess that dirt cheap right now?

Speaker 6 (08:24):
It's true.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
We'll find them all on sell.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
They'll be going someone's someone's mama's right, where do they live?

Speaker 1 (08:31):
To buy? Oh?

Speaker 2 (08:36):
A lovely winter beach chair. Just what mommy didn't ask for.

Speaker 6 (08:41):
But she's very picky. My mom, Alison Lee, very picky
about her gift her things, so I've been trying to
pry information out of her what she wants.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
In a why if you landed on this out of
the myriadle things that you could treat your mom too.

Speaker 6 (08:54):
My mom is seventy seven. She has she has everything
you could need or want or and she also doesn't
like too much stuff.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
So you have to be very specific with just got
to be practical, and you should be very functionality for
old people.

Speaker 6 (09:08):
Yeah, and so I don't know what quality she wants.

Speaker 7 (09:11):
What about a hat stand, umbrellas everywhere in the house,
And so try to like sort of surreptitiously pry the
information out of her what she wants in a beach chair.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
Listen, your mum's smart. Okay, she's raised three kids. She's
going to know what you're up to. Yes, right now,
she'll smell that lazy ass.

Speaker 6 (09:33):
Well, I tried to bury it. I had other parts
of conversation in the day.

Speaker 1 (09:36):
They know, and I was like, hey, what they smell?

Speaker 2 (09:41):
Bs and squirmy wormy behavior, less time hanging out and
fruit and vegetables are a random Wednesday, it's weird, and
more time shopping for mom.

Speaker 6 (09:51):
Yes, well I could have done that a bit earlier.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
See what do you think, By the way, Pats, I
was thinking today we could because I think There'll be
a lot of people who haven't got their Mother's Day
gift yet and actually, like, what do we get mum? Okay,
maybe you could help people out be some kind of
mum whispers.

Speaker 5 (10:05):
I'd love that.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
Now, let's try it now. So what would you recommend
for real to get his mom?

Speaker 5 (10:09):
Well, look, you're gonna have to get her a voucher,
get her what she really wants.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
It's like, whisper, get us something called.

Speaker 5 (10:20):
Cash that's she can get exactly what.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
These holes in a wall called are you writing this
out a GM?

Speaker 1 (10:27):
Let's not do the gift whisper, You're fired.

Speaker 4 (10:31):
Christian Connell Show podcast.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
We're doing tombstone text. What's the most recent message at
the top of your phone? Fling it over to me
on four seven five three one o four three. It's
called two stone text. You imagine that that Now that
message on your phone is your tombstone.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
Maries is now just saying cash is fine? Please? Cash
is always fine? Isn't it? Preferred option is cash?

Speaker 5 (10:56):
That's a Facebook market place right there?

Speaker 2 (10:59):
Oh yeah, is that when you got the hat stands No,
I got it out of anti anti shop.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yeah, love her good?

Speaker 2 (11:09):
Yet that's another sign you're an adult, you appreciate a
good antique shop.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
I now want to get a Hatstand, what color is it?

Speaker 5 (11:16):
When you got dark mahogany, it's like a blackwater. It's
a thirty nineteen thirty star. I went through this whole
phase of antiques once. Now I'm kind of sick of them.
But yeah, thirty on the weekends, I love trawling through
old shops and you know, in country areas and just
finding real little pieces of.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yeah, my wife does that.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
We drive by someone. I'm not hope she hasn't seen it,
but she has. Suddenly there's a U turner. Oh my god,
fast furious antiques roadchook.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
We're coming in those anteach shop as well.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
They're always run by no one is under the age
of nine thousand.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
Always a married couple.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
They had sex in about one hundred years now they
just hate each other. No, no, no, no, you know
the couple and they got that radioble clanging bell when
the door walk in.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
Oh god, oh god, happy.

Speaker 6 (12:09):
Were just browsing and so awkward to leave?

Speaker 2 (12:12):
Are There are always a couple of paces behind you.
Even if you say are just browsing whatever. There you
start to have a look at they've got some comments
on it. Oh, I can see sir has got good taste.

Speaker 1 (12:23):
All right, and never take some more children in there.
No no dogs either.

Speaker 6 (12:29):
You break it, you buy it exactly.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
Christian, my tombstone would say, who ate the last of
the Viennetta?

Speaker 1 (12:37):
I got off the radio? Michael, who ate the last
year of you? Insidetcy you Michael bezik.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
Chrish on my tombstone message, my toasters slipped off my
bowbile phone and onto the ground.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
But Peter did it go.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
Butter side up as it's supposed to do, Alex, what's
your tombstone text?

Speaker 8 (12:58):
So my wife is a proper journalist, and this tombstone says, hey,
my interview is running late, so please don't come in
front door.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
I'm a prisoner. I can't even get in my house
those ones. Someone's on zoom. Yeah, you have to stay
out the house the house, don't come in.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
It's a very modern thing now is you can do
everything online and you can do zoom interviews and stay
out the house.

Speaker 8 (13:18):
Yes, yet a story in the phone.

Speaker 6 (13:20):
Make any noise, I've got a phone call coming. You
gotta stay out.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
Don't let the kids come in. I'm like what I've
got to go to get my clothes in that room.

Speaker 8 (13:29):
Come on, the joys of working from home.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
I remember once I said, a wife, don't come in.
This is a really important zoom thing. My wife ignored that.
Suddenly I could see the camera my wife crawling. Come on, crawling,
and there's there's eight people and they all see it
as well.

Speaker 1 (13:45):
And I went just stand up and say, she carries
or don't mind me. It's odd. And now you're crawling
on the floor. This is my Benjamins. Well they can
the bed.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
It looks odd now like I've sent you a message
get ready on the bed, but just crawling so they
don't see you. I said, it's now just a whole
side scene is now main scene of cruism. I got
some clothes out my tombstone. Texts actually comes from Higgo.
Higgo is a brilliant present. He does a show after us.

(14:18):
He often messaged me during the show. He's listened to
the show. He's always got a funny line about it.
Yesterday's messages from Higgo. After your story that you sold
to me about a bad time for power cut But
it's really just an incredible story.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
It was.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
It's a brilliant story. Yesterday had so many emails about it.
If you missed it, get yesterday's podcast. Rio story about
coming out to his family is one for the ages
there's in life. We always have these movie scenes how
we think it's going to go. It never goes like that.
That's what the story was about. Anyway, we're also in
that story mentioned the phrase Thrupple. Had a cool with

(14:55):
senior management about that yesterday, by the way, But anyway,
that's another text message on this phone actually from my boss,
Boss Boss saying when you can give me a call.

Speaker 1 (15:03):
We talked about that break as well.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
AnyWho, this is from Higo Higo after it yesterday at
seven forty five. I'm going to cool my car Thrupple
because it sees my mechanic as much as me.

Speaker 4 (15:14):
A Christian O'Connell show gone podcast.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
Time Now for our chemist Warehouse products of the week,
and of course friends always read the label parts.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
What's it for you?

Speaker 5 (15:27):
Yeah, my mum got me onto This is olive leaf
extract and you can get all different forms of it,
but I prefer the actual liquid, so you give yourself
just a shot each day. It's a really powerful antioxidant.
And I've got all the family on it coming up
to winter. It's just like a little defense system.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
So maybe it's the time of the year, maybe it's playing.
But this the algorithm hit me with this just yesterday.
I did it as a woman talking about these shots
of olive ore parts, swearing about it. This woman had
a can't believe I watch the whole rul This woman
had amazing skin as well. She said it was a
huge benefit and if your immunity, but for your skin now,
she was recommended taking on an empty stomach first thing
in the morning.

Speaker 5 (16:02):
Yeah, I do it way what a greasy shot, isn't it.
It's beside my bed. But it's some it's brilliant.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
That's a shot.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
Something else that's much empty. That is not coldgate. You
always say it's that. That that minty freshness that is
zambuka ani CD smell is not Colgate.

Speaker 5 (16:19):
I find it's really good for energy. It does help
my energies.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
And have you taken it this morning?

Speaker 6 (16:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (16:25):
I take it every morning.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
Yeah, when they kick.

Speaker 5 (16:28):
Him, you can get tablet, you can get tablets. But
I found that they repeated on me a bit, so
I just went back to the mixture. But it's brilliant.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
It's not need that detail.

Speaker 5 (16:41):
Go back to the liquid it is.

Speaker 2 (16:43):
Paul Higger has to use that Patsy's microphone after her
extra virginia oil must today must have been a repeater.

Speaker 5 (16:52):
Look, it's not like an oily sort of substance. It's
more like a liquidy sort of like you know.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
And I watched chemic House off the week.

Speaker 6 (17:01):
Shout out to Bonella who saved my old side. Could
feel a nasty little one.

Speaker 2 (17:06):
Sorry, have we been at sea in the fifteen hundred?

Speaker 1 (17:09):
Mind's something to get over.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
Rickets repeating, Excuse I bit my lip and then if
you do that, you're very vulnerable to an ulcer.

Speaker 6 (17:20):
I had one coming, put the bond, Gella on it.

Speaker 1 (17:22):
They vicious things.

Speaker 6 (17:24):
They ruined your entire week, constantly aware of it.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yes, infectious speech whole around it.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
Internal weather system is disrupted with a manky old and
Someddenly you get those big ones sometimes horrible, aren't they.

Speaker 6 (17:37):
Yeah, you want to get it before they crater around it.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
You gotta once that crater opens, get in there with thee.

Speaker 6 (17:45):
We'll get there before the crater opens with the bond
and Jella and I've got no crater right now.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
Free mouth.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
Proud of you, buddy, Proud of you, buddy.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
My Kims Warehouse put it the week again, probably the
time of year. Is this nasal spray first defense. Anytime
you hear someone sneezing near you, or you're worried about
you might pick up some germs, spray this up your
nose and every couple of hours. It's fantastic. Whenever got
on a flight or anything like that, I always use this.
It's absolute brilliance called first events. Also this week been

(18:14):
talking about brands you trust, I also get this one
called first defense.

Speaker 1 (18:18):
Vix. Oh yes, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
I know in Vix, I trust Vix ain't gonna let
me down there looking after my nasal cavity. Vix have
got that guard had and my soft feet as well.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
Ah.

Speaker 5 (18:31):
Do you use it on those souls of your feet
every night to go to bed?

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Yep, yeah, really love it it.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
Socks on, wake no, no, no, no, no, wake up,
and those feet are soft, my socks glide on.

Speaker 4 (18:42):
I've really lose the Christian O'Connell show podcast.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
Now we're going to talk about the World Cup, and
I know some of you might not be a big
soccer fan. To me, the World Cup isn't about that.
It's about something bigger. It's not just about the game
and whether your team is winning or losing. Like sport generally,
it's a chance for people to get together. And especially
in this world how we are now, we're becoming more
and more divided. And when I moved to Australia, I
couldn't believe they're even the states are divided in what

(19:11):
kind of sport they like in Victoria, so I never
mentioned NRL on the radio, Christian. If you want to
win Melbourne in Sydney's up, we don't care about that support.
It's all about NRL here and so soccer. Look what
happened with the Matieldas and in twenty twenty two with Australia.
The soccer is making it until a final sixteen for
the only the second time whole country gets swept up.

(19:32):
It's national pride, all coming together. Outside of the what
the Olympics, there's no other really opportunity for Australians to
put aside state differences. Whether you're AFL, don't care for
either of the egg shaped sports, to actually get around
each other and come together and sport support each other
and your country in a world tournament. The reason why

(19:54):
we're talking about this is yesterday they're now said in Melbourne.
You'd have seen these and the footages so many times
over the years of fed Square in Melbourne, of fans
watching games celebrating They're not going to do it next
month for the World Cup. Think it's a real shame.
It's a big wing for Darling Harbor twenty twenty two.
Incredible scenes there as well at the pavilion. You saw

(20:15):
the scenes there. How don't listened to this from twenty
twenty two to so much passion and really speaks to
what I think. I think Melbourn's is going to miss
out this year with the World Cup in us getting
around each other and together.

Speaker 9 (20:26):
The team that qualified by the skin of their teeth,
the team that qualified with the dancing goalkeeper has just
equal our greatest ever record of this tournament, our first
claint sing in thirty six years. An entire country believing
again that we can match it with the world in
the world's game.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
You're telling me this go to us in our football.

Speaker 9 (20:46):
It is four in the morning on of tours that
but look at this in a crowd so young. Half
of them aren't even born last time you made the
knockout stages.

Speaker 6 (20:54):
This is football in Australia.

Speaker 10 (20:56):
It's growing with a diverse crowd that looks like the
real Australia, with a diverse squad that looks like the
real Australia, that celebrates like the rest of the world,
with flares and an emotion that only this game and
only this time we can.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
Give you that. That's what we're not going to get
in Melbourne. I think it's a real shame. And so Alex,
you'll know more about this. Yeah, Alex, what is it.
They're worried about safety.

Speaker 8 (21:22):
Yeah, so the Melbourne Arts Precinct. So they're in charge
of Federation Square, very famous part of Melbourne where everyone
goes to watch sport. They're saying that no, we're not
going to show the games because of flares and there
were some injuries last year and they're worried that people
are going to get hurt again. I say absolutely, boohoo,
that's absolute rubbish. Of course we should be there. Of

(21:42):
course fans should go to Fed Square. Fed Square is
the place to watch the soccers, the Matilda's, any other
sporting game. I can't believe this. It's like saying to
the great people of Lei like Art, Norton Street and
Sydney where everyone goes to watch.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
The World Cup.

Speaker 8 (21:55):
During the World Cup, you can't show games at your
cafes on Norton Street. There would be an absolute rite
in Sydney of that happened. So fed square, Come on,
wake up to yourselves, arts precinct, Let's get soccer, Let's
get all the sport back there at feed.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
Well said, and also just likely think about how many
people are at the MCG every weekend. They could be
smuggling in flares and stuff like that. Can't they do
searching or something? Can't they search people or do something
to guarantee I don't want anyone getting injured, or the
police or the people staffing it to be injured. But
it feels like Melbourne's so prized itself on being the
capital of sport in Australia. Yes, and for it not

(22:30):
to have a public space where they've been doing their
every World Cup for so many tournaments genuinely heartbreaking. I
can't believe that it won't It won't look right as
we're going around seeing cities jumping up and down rejoicing
as we progress through to the tournament and I really
think we can make it into the final sixteen and
beyond again as well, that you're not going to see
that in Melbourne, but nothing in Melbourne. Sydney's got it,

(22:52):
Perth or other and ben Brisbane as well, and Adelaide,
but nothing in Melbourne.

Speaker 6 (22:56):
Yeah, you think, like when I think of the World
Cup and because it's obviously never in Australia except for
the Women's World Cup, that's our only connection to it.
Otherwise we're just isolated in our own.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
Reason as well.

Speaker 2 (23:08):
You know in that there people in the middle of
the night four am. You know, it's just there's something
we don't get enough chances to come together and support
Australia on a global stage, not just here in the country.
I just can't believe it's not going to be so alenge.
Do you think it's a proper final decision? No.

Speaker 8 (23:25):
I think the Football Australi is really urging them to
reverse this. There's a huge ground swell of support to
get football back on the screen at Fit Square. I
think it'll turn around. I think it'll happen. You cannot
deny the great people of Melbourne. This wonderful, wonderful facility
for sports. So I think common sense will provide.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
The other thing is we've got a big empty radio
station in the morning here, I'm happy to turn it
into a fan zone.

Speaker 1 (23:53):
Awesome.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
Just now, Rio said the hooligan's in. You're part of
the problem. You're lucky in five thousand is a hooligan.

Speaker 4 (24:03):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
Last Chance of the Sorting sh for mums to do
your jokes. Tomorrow is Stand Up Mums Live. The winning
mum wins a ultimate five star luxury pampering weekend. Right now,
Small Thing, Big Joy. We do this every week on
the show. What is a small thing that gives you
Big joy?

Speaker 11 (24:27):
Small thing, Big joy? Six class spot You enjoy like
finding five bucks in your jeans or buying the soft
fan of your dream.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
Yep, you heard him, buying the saucepan of your dreams.

Speaker 1 (24:44):
Small thing, Big joy.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
When blet Us talk about peak enlightenment, it's that it's
the pan moment.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
It really is. Non stick on.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
Small thing, big joy for me this week yesterday I
was making an omna one two three, four crack crack
crack four eggs. Yeah, my friend roadte, my friend crack, crack, crack,
all four in a row. Forget about green lights, the
perfect crack, no tiny bits in you.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
It's so hard, lord, and you know it's in there.
You got to try and.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
Scoop it out. Then all that gloopy bit comes to
your hands. Do you a spider's web?

Speaker 1 (25:25):
Isn't it? Can't get it off for days days?

Speaker 6 (25:29):
Do you do it on the bench?

Speaker 2 (25:30):
Stop?

Speaker 1 (25:30):
Did you do it on the side of the pan,
side of the pans.

Speaker 6 (25:32):
That is playing?

Speaker 2 (25:34):
And it drives my wife man because it creates so
much mess. Yes, all over there. There's always residue there.
The Eggman's been here. That's what she said to the kids.
Oh God, that's been cracking eggs in gloop everywhere that
chicken coop.

Speaker 6 (25:49):
Do it on the pan, get a much clean.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
That's Ramsey, does it?

Speaker 2 (25:53):
I want to be that Ramsey and the other Yesterday
was bin Day and my family, I'm the bin guy
in our family. You know, we all have designated jobs.
I'm apparently it's just that it's my job. No one
else can do this, and they just cram cram cram
cram any thought. But you're truly the min guy who's
then gotta uncram that, knowing full well high chance of

(26:17):
a split. Bin makers, please make the linings thicker, the
weakest membrane.

Speaker 1 (26:25):
In the world. It's bit nice. They are wafer wayfer
gossamer thing.

Speaker 6 (26:32):
It's like an egg white.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
It's an egg white. And so anyway, this is cram Bimberg.
Yesterday I thought this is gonna split. Someone's like cuddling
it like a newborn. And it didn't split.

Speaker 6 (26:43):
Wow, wow, gentle touch you has.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
I know, I know. But the moment I threw it
in the bin, it split wide open.

Speaker 6 (26:50):
That's the bins problem anymore.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
It couldn't hold it in anymore. Alex, what's it for you?
Small thing? Big joint?

Speaker 8 (26:57):
When the tupperway container is just big enough to contain
the leftovers, meaning you have judged the volume perfectly, it's.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
It's it's it's winning, isn't it? That is gonna be snugly?

Speaker 8 (27:09):
Yes, it's just there. It's right at the top of
the tupway container. The lid fits on.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
You're like, yeah, I judged it, and I don't like it.

Speaker 2 (27:15):
When actually you've pitched a container that's too big, you
can't be bothered to scoop it back out, but it's
not a quarter fall. The annoys you every time on
the fridge. Yeah, I misjudged that bad eyeballing.

Speaker 1 (27:26):
That's that's on me. I don't like that, but I'll
wear it, but I don't like it.

Speaker 8 (27:29):
And also like i'm dog names on harnesses, you know
when you can see your dog's name, Oh that's Henry,
Well that's you know.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
My kids do this.

Speaker 2 (27:39):
But they because I mainly walked the dog, they thought
it'd be funny to put just bitch.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
Right. The dog is not.

Speaker 2 (27:46):
She was not called that, and it was just aggressive,
and they just thought it was funny for me to
be walking around with the dog.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
Right, I'm getting angry now. That dog passed away a
two years ago. It stood upsets me.

Speaker 11 (27:59):
Now.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
I'm pretty sure the dog didn't like it either, and
I did not like it walking and people actually judged me.
It was like it was a statement that you know,
someone like me had put on there.

Speaker 8 (28:10):
What's funny you say that because this dog we saw
the other day had anxious written on the harness.

Speaker 2 (28:14):
So was it a dog who was being trained by
someone who is anxious?

Speaker 1 (28:19):
You know, have those Cara dogs?

Speaker 8 (28:20):
No, I think it was just anxious because the dog
was really anxious. But then someone said, this girl goes,
can I can I pad anxious character?

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Dog?

Speaker 2 (28:31):
I like Inside Out, but for dogs, I watched that
safe what goes on in their heads?

Speaker 1 (28:36):
Not much.

Speaker 2 (28:36):
They haven't got many characters. You know, when inside Out
there's about ten different emotions. Dogs has got this this
one lone guy in there.

Speaker 8 (28:41):
And it was really anxious dog like, it was really
anxious and and and the owner was like, oh, yeah,
you can pat anxious. And I'm like and Bonnie was like, no, no, no,
that's not the dog's name.

Speaker 1 (28:49):
That's that's it just is anxious.

Speaker 8 (28:51):
I'm like, well, no, Well why did the person say,
can I pad anxious?

Speaker 6 (28:54):
I guess the dog's name.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
It sounds like it's a dog's name. I think it's
the dog's name.

Speaker 6 (28:59):
An anxious dog. Don't call it anxious.

Speaker 1 (29:02):
That's gonna make it worse.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
It reinforces its whole life is humans approaching it and
making it feel nervous. Anyway, got that poor dog, and
it was like we were just labeled with a collar
with one emotion.

Speaker 6 (29:16):
Our most vulnerable traits.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
Perhatsy, what's it? What's it for you? Small thing, big.

Speaker 5 (29:23):
Joint talking dogs. Our big maremma. Presley loves to jump
in autumn leaves. So I was taking him for a
walk the other day and a neighbor had piled up
their leaves in the front garden, and he might have
just run through it, but the joy on his face
as he does it. I'm sure it's his favorite season.
And he just loves to.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Just soggy, aren't they?

Speaker 5 (29:44):
And he loves sticks to his feet.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
Sometimes there's fox sort of pee in those leaves, and
then it gets on the coat of the dog.

Speaker 1 (29:52):
Horrible smell. That's why they love they.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
I don't know what it is about the fox scent urine,
but dogs rub their like back of the cat bow
to us.

Speaker 5 (30:04):
So he's putting all that.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
After them washed him with ketchup in the shower.

Speaker 5 (30:08):
Are you serious?

Speaker 1 (30:09):
Yep? It gets rid of the smell. It's the only
thing I found ye reddit readit for It's a reddit
for for everything, my friends, everything in life?

Speaker 2 (30:20):
Is I just random more than any other experts? Events said,
no use this? Okay, all right, I've been paid by
big farmer to recommend it. Ketch Up's all right for me,
my friend, Come on, Reggie, in the showers, catch up,
t me roll on that field, better ketch up in
your coat, now a fountain.

Speaker 5 (30:40):
He don't need a bucket of the stuff for him, yea.

Speaker 4 (30:44):
Christian Connell Show podcast.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
Christian, A little bit worried about your receiving videos of
listeners puppies. They're a lovely young pair as well. She's
training them at the moment. It's an innocent thing between
me and listener Julie. Okay, it's an innocent thing. When
you test the show. You can also send me a video.
And if you've got young puppies right now, I'm happy

(31:07):
to have a look at them.

Speaker 1 (31:09):
It's an innocent thing.

Speaker 11 (31:13):
Small thing, big joy, take sass spot you enjoy like
finding five bots in your jeans or buying the stuffman
off your dreams.

Speaker 6 (31:26):
Of spending up exactly?

Speaker 2 (31:30):
Yes, so that one that dull line about han handle Christian,
small thing, big joy. When I asked the Blue Flairy, please,
blue Fairy find me a parking spot, and she does
just that. Hey, listen, whatever gets you do today right now.
If your chat for the fairies trying to have your
part your car, so be it.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
Higher power, find your own higher power.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
Small thing, big joy, coming home and smelling cleaning products
and knowing the cleaning ladies that day. Oh love that
industrial gray Pino clean.

Speaker 5 (32:03):
Even better on a Friday, and you know you don't
have to clean or wakened?

Speaker 6 (32:07):
Do you have your your cleaner away.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
Found Patsy's poor cleaner. Literally imagine being that reign of
terror the Iron Lady home. I been the kind of
person that runs your finger at the top of the door.

Speaker 5 (32:24):
No, I don't need to with Cynthia, she's brilliant.

Speaker 1 (32:26):
Cynthia.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
Well, Cynthia once rang the show. Do you remember during
the news because she's I'm not making this up. Perhaps
cleaner rang the show once because she'd rang her master
and couldn't get hold of and then so rang Us
had got hold of Petrina. She'd come in and the
shower door been.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
Ripped off its head.

Speaker 5 (32:48):
The shower door. Remember I slipped on one morning, and
it's not been the same since I didn't hit my head.
But she's now Mary Poppins. She's made she.

Speaker 1 (32:58):
Fates a story about moving to America.

Speaker 5 (33:00):
No, she was going to move up north and then
the sale fell through, so she's stayed put.

Speaker 1 (33:05):
More o all things, she's back cleaning as she did
you say get out, Cynthia.

Speaker 2 (33:15):
Twice Cynthia being held against your will hashtag cleaning for freedom.

Speaker 1 (33:20):
We're coming for you, Cynthia. You've got rights anyway. That's
someone small thing, big joy, Christian.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
I've just done my small thing, big joy, doing a
you turn into an angled parking spot, nailing the angle
precisely centered and straight. I'm now going to have a
good day at work. Hope you will do as well, Lydia.
Thank you very much, Christian. When you get that broken eggshell,
you use the shell to scoop out the broken bits.
It's magnetic. It doesn't get the tiny, tiny fragments though

(33:50):
they swim away.

Speaker 6 (33:52):
Well, ye's why you've got to be cracking on the
bench top.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
No, you can't crack. That will create mess.

Speaker 6 (33:57):
No no, no, no, it doesn't nice and clean. You're
doing it on the edge of the pant he's asking for.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
Surely the angle of the lip, the lip of the pad,
the lip will be a nice sharp edge.

Speaker 6 (34:07):
No, what's the hands do you have?

Speaker 2 (34:11):
Just motor around my pants? Mum, Donna, Christian? What's worse
than a girl guide in your pocket? A brownie in
your pants? Listen, we can only handle so many of
these mum jokes, don't start to just do them, Willy
neary throughout the show, waiting till the light.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
How about them puppies, Julie.

Speaker 4 (34:32):
Christian O'Connell show go on podcast.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
Christian, Small Thing, Big Joy getting into the car in
the morning after my daughter you said the night before
the radio station has stole locked on Gold not a
second rate station. Bliss, Thank you, Mark, greatest listener ever. Mum,
Christy used to send me a joke. What's worse than
a dead dog on your piano? A dead pussy cat
on your organ? Come on, guys, Christian, Small Thing, Big Joy.

(34:59):
When you're twenty five year old, some messages you to
ask you for your recipe for your famous.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
Sticky date pudding. Oh riceless? Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
Don't be shy with that, Kim Matron, send it to us, Christian,
Small Thing, Big Joy. When you are wrapping the paper
on the Deli meat and the label lined up, Leah,
I know what you mean.

Speaker 1 (35:23):
Is that the perfect sink? Yes, Christian.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
Yesterday on the show you were saying how you're going
to take stories about caught with your pants down.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
We are, We're literally about to do it. Right now.

Speaker 2 (35:34):
We are locked and loaded for your pants down, Stories down.
This is a great one from Helen literally literally just
sent it to me. We were just during that song
talking about what we're going to do next here, and
we've decided to go for pants down.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
If you ever.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
Life throws up a path between being stuck stories or
caught with your pants down, always go with pants down.

Speaker 1 (35:56):
This radio Lesson five hundred and fifty two.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
All right, music is queued up. Let's get the story down.
Helen is camping. Okay, you can run a kind of
amasion this scenario already here.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
We haven't quite cut it in the picture yet.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
Let's do it now. Christian, you mentioned caught with your
pants down. I've got a story for you. It's almost
forty years ago, but I can still feel the shame.
My now husband and I early day we went camping.
It was beautiful, no one was around, empty campsite, stunning,
but I did need to answer the cord of nature.

Speaker 1 (36:28):
My asband said, just go down to the river. No
one can see you, there's no one here. Question. I
went down there, I dropped my pants. I'm that down
there squatting.

Speaker 2 (36:38):
I suddenly hear this put put of a motor boat
with two old men fall. But unfortunately, question, you know
the point where there's no there's no point of no return.
There's no return for my business, or I'm guessing Helen,
the two old men in the boat as well. I

(36:58):
had no choice but to just chuck my head in
and hope i'd never ever seen them again. Helen, that's
a great one. The reason why we're doing this. We
got a story yesterday from Janine. We were talking about
bad time for power cut. What happened to Janine when
she was in one of those fits and automated toilets.

(37:20):
When I pushed the toilet paper button, the door opened. Yes,
I was caught with.

Speaker 4 (37:25):
My the Christian O'Connell show podcast.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
Looking for your Stories Courts with your pants down. Years ago, Christian,
my stepfather went for a prostate check up at the doctors.
This was for the very inconvenient blood tests you could
do now. While he was bent across the surgery bench
pants down, her exceptionist came bursting in without knocking.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
In shock.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
He turned round to be greeted with mister Smith. Brackets
name change to protect the vulnerable. It was one of
his past students at a very popular high school.

Speaker 5 (38:02):
God I die.

Speaker 6 (38:04):
After Motown.

Speaker 1 (38:06):
Wow, gosh, oh, holy MOI what a story.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
Though Particicateden has got one for us, but uicicating more shores.

Speaker 12 (38:18):
I was on my honeymoon and we do we need
to know this, Yes, it's a very important part. So
it was on my honeymoon in a beautiful island resort.
And we had a very private room.

Speaker 1 (38:31):
So you wentn't sharing with strangers. You went in a
youth hostel.

Speaker 12 (38:34):
No, we had our own pool and stuff like that
that was very secluded that we could lay out in
the sun naked. And so my partner and I we
did that for majority of the trip until one day.
I was walking back inside the room and we had
it put and do not disturb on and one of
the cleaning ladies walked in two our room. She must

(38:55):
have been knocking.

Speaker 5 (38:56):
I just didn't hear it.

Speaker 12 (38:57):
And I'm standing there fully nude with a sun hat on.

Speaker 1 (39:01):
What a look?

Speaker 6 (39:03):
Interesting to go sun hat first as you're getting ready.

Speaker 2 (39:10):
Down A years ago, I was in a clothes shop.
You know those changing rooms, and it was a Saturday afternoons.
It's very busy, and those changing rooms there's people waiting
to use the changing rooms. There's also like people advising
as other people come out of the changing rooms. It
was a mixed sex one and so they're coming out,

(39:30):
so it was very busy. I go in with a
pair of pants. I've got a dinner that night. I
need to get a smarter pair of pants or going
And there's that moment. Any gentleman's been in this where
you have to commit to the move. You've got one
leg that you're pushing in the trousers. I also have
to add I was very hungover, so coordination, I wasn't
quite filling myself and so I didn't really have a

(39:53):
great center of balance about me. And so I've got
one leg in the trousers and suddenly you know, you're like,
I'm falling. I'm falling and there's no way I'm not falling.
And to try and sort of cushing my fall, I
just panic because both the hands were obviously on the
trousers trying to pull them up, and now have to

(40:13):
release one hand in half a second.

Speaker 1 (40:15):
Grab the curtain.

Speaker 2 (40:17):
The curtain because it's cheap, you know, that flimsy. It's
not really a curtain. It's it's not it's not a handbrake.
It's coming with me. It comes with you, not just
that the momentum and the forces. I'm just clawing at
it like a cat. It rips the rod out of
the holding the curtain of the rod. As I come
crashing to the ground in a very compromised position, legs

(40:41):
a kimbo, legs akimbo, wrapped in some kind of toga
that I've ripped off. It's carnage there, and there's people,
there's people seeing it all. No, you had people have
to help me. I said, no, no, don't worry about it.
But there I actually.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
Needed I needed assistance.

Speaker 6 (41:03):
How do you get up?

Speaker 2 (41:04):
An elderly lady went to trump on my pants. I
went and I've got that bit. But I was like
wrapped in the curtain rod and there's like bits of
masonry that had come out on the road. I just
destroyed the changing room. That's why I moved to Australia.
Have to not just leave the hemisphere. Uh, Dominic's got
a story for us. It is a great one too.

(41:25):
Good morning, Dominic, Good morning, how are you. I'm good, Dominic.
Thanks for calling the show so I'd love you to
share your story.

Speaker 13 (41:32):
Yep, No, problem. A few years ago, I had an operation.
It was actually in my bum crack. I had a
scoop cut out, and daily a nurse had to come
in and pack this hole in my bum crack. It
was quite it was quite painful. Yeah, it was more
like a.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
Job for a nurse as well to pack someone. What
training can you do for that to get ready for
that packing? One day you're going to have to pack
someone's ass after you've taken a scoop out. You may
describe it like you're going to an ice cream barter
of a bum crp.

Speaker 1 (42:09):
Please you get one of those cold mentality in a
scoop out.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
Yeah, look, we're not laughing at your backside, we're laughing
with your backside.

Speaker 13 (42:19):
So the process was rollover, bury your head in the pillow,
and put your bum up in the air so she
could practice thing in the process. He says to me, Look,
I'm having a bit of trouble seeing the bottom of
the hole there. Can you reach around with your hands
spread your bum cheeks for me?

Speaker 1 (42:33):
What what a moment in life has led to that?

Speaker 6 (42:38):
Spread your cheeks?

Speaker 13 (42:39):
Yeah, so I'm feeling fantastic at this point. It's very
painful as well, so it all happened, It got done,
and it was horrible, and she said, she pad me
on the headset. It's all done. Laugh when you got
them innut, just you know, just take your time and
roll over.

Speaker 1 (42:56):
So when you stop crying, can you? Yeah?

Speaker 13 (42:59):
When I stopped crying, I still got my bum cheeks spread.
I rolled over and it was visiting hours at the hospital.
The curtains are being flung wide open. There's about ten
people in the room looking at my bump.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
So what did you do, Dominic?

Speaker 2 (43:13):
I just just roll back, just wait for all to stop. Well,
please swallow me up right now. Oh, that is one
of the best stories of the year, Dominic. That is
an incredible story. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant story. I'm going to

(43:34):
send you two hundred and fifty dollars voucher at Chemists Warehouse.
That's get you some more cream for your bump.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
Crack.

Speaker 2 (43:43):
Awesome story, really really funny. Thank you very much for
give us a call.

Speaker 13 (43:47):
Thank you, Thank you, Bob bye.

Speaker 4 (43:49):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
Tomorrow on the show stand Up Mums sharing their jokes
trying to win the Ultimate five Star Pampering Weekend Mom's.

Speaker 11 (44:00):
Gonna tell the joke, Mama, don't make you laugh, selly
Mary on the pool.

Speaker 2 (44:07):
They're gonna make you. What a prize that awaits the winner,
incredible prize, winning mom tomorrow and right now is the
last chance to join the mums tomorrow. Stand up, mums
with your jokes. Give us Gill thirteen fifty five twenty two.
What are weekend that awaits to winning mom this tom
tomorrow rear?

Speaker 1 (44:27):
What's the price?

Speaker 6 (44:28):
The Ultimate Mother's Day Langam Melbourne package includes a two
nights day at the Wonderful, Glorious Langa Melbourne for you
and a friend.

Speaker 1 (44:35):
It's a beautiful hotel, it is funny.

Speaker 6 (44:39):
A lunch at the Langham's Melbourne restaurant. Of course, who
could forget the Twana.

Speaker 14 (44:47):
Oh you say Schwan, I say twine twig.

Speaker 6 (44:53):
Access to the Langan Club which includes evening cannipes and cocktails.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
Oh my word, he doesn't love an evening cannope, My
bloody loved one murderer.

Speaker 1 (45:03):
Tray them right now.

Speaker 2 (45:04):
They come in trades, slab of them and just a
slab of these waiter metro d whatever you call guts on.

Speaker 1 (45:12):
That is the winning mum.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
Moms call us now with your jokes thirteen fifty five
twenty two. But just again, have we got some mums
ready to jump on air now with a joke? We
have Mum Cary, Mum Carey, come on down.

Speaker 4 (45:29):
Good morning Christian and everyone, Good morning Mum Carey.

Speaker 1 (45:32):
So how many kids you got, Kerry? I've got two, two?
And how old are they carry?

Speaker 13 (45:37):
One is twenty two and the other is nineteen.

Speaker 2 (45:40):
Oh wait, okay, and what are you doing for Mother's Day?
They're taking you out for lunch for dinner. How are
they looking after you?

Speaker 13 (45:46):
I actually have no idea, but I hope it's something impressive.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
Hingers cross Kerry. All right, let's say you joke oky dog.

Speaker 3 (45:56):
So what's the difference between people in Dubai and people
in Abu Debbi?

Speaker 1 (46:04):
What a time said? I don't know what is the difference.

Speaker 3 (46:09):
People in Dubai don't like the fling stones, but the
people in every Debbie.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
I was a bit worry.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
There we're going to hear some ethnic voices. It was
all okay, but I had a finger on the dumb butt.

Speaker 6 (46:25):
It wasn't topical.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
Oh the relief.

Speaker 6 (46:32):
So close to me last week?

Speaker 1 (46:36):
Thank you, Kerry. Uh that's a great one. Carry let's
take some more. Have we got some more here, Caitlin?
We have?

Speaker 11 (46:43):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
It's good to hear carries one again, are we Tanya? Tanya,
welcome to the show.

Speaker 3 (46:49):
Good morning, Hell are you?

Speaker 2 (46:51):
I'm good, Tanya? So sound like you're on the school run.
There sounds busy in the background.

Speaker 3 (46:55):
No, I've actually got the radio on listening to you guys,
but I've walked away from it.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
Ah, right, many do and well now and now now
you're with us, Tany, You're on the show.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
How good is that? That's the best. I've been waiting
all morning for Tanya to.

Speaker 3 (47:12):
Get I've been waiting for you to pick up.

Speaker 1 (47:15):
I picked up, Tony. What's your joke for?

Speaker 3 (47:19):
Excuse me? It's a difference between a company car and
a four wheel drive.

Speaker 1 (47:25):
I don't know what's a doing between a company car
and a four wheel drive.

Speaker 3 (47:27):
This just some places you wouldn't take the four wheel drive.

Speaker 4 (47:40):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (47:42):
It's an anti joke in a way that is a belter.
Mama just made us, Tony, Tony, what does your joke mean?

Speaker 3 (48:02):
Take the company car anyway? Darlin?

Speaker 6 (48:06):
I got it? Don't get it because it's like a bugger.
I'll just take the company car wherever.

Speaker 1 (48:16):
It's like it makes away.

Speaker 6 (48:19):
He's other company money.

Speaker 1 (48:20):
Ah say god yeah, your old company joke. Charny love it.
We'll send your price. Thank you very much, thank you.

Speaker 2 (48:30):
She had the goods. She had puppies, Karen, good morning,
Good morning. She's a dog trainer.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
Karen.

Speaker 3 (48:39):
Yes, is that you?

Speaker 1 (48:41):
Yes? It is all right, mamma Karen.

Speaker 12 (48:44):
You want to hear my joke?

Speaker 1 (48:45):
I love to Mamma Karen.

Speaker 3 (48:47):
What did the builders say when he finished building his house?

Speaker 1 (48:50):
I don't know what did the bill to say when
he finished building his house?

Speaker 2 (48:54):
Nailed it?

Speaker 1 (49:04):
Karen? Thank you? Are we running out of road for
this tomorrow?

Speaker 2 (49:11):
I know we should have some production here, Lockie, get
it ready, always have it ready at any moment where
you know, at some moment you're on the radio and
it's like in any conversation, it just it just ends.

Speaker 14 (49:20):
We need we need boys to men. It's the end
of the road. When a bit has just it's just ended.
Come towards natural conclusion. Doctors do when they call it
time of death.

Speaker 4 (49:32):
Christian Connell Show podcast.

Speaker 1 (49:35):
That's can I ask you a question?

Speaker 5 (49:36):
Of course?

Speaker 2 (49:38):
This is actually on safety I've got my yogurt with
me right when he's protein yogurts. But it's been out
not it's been outside of fish since half five this morning,
three hours.

Speaker 1 (49:50):
Is it safe my yo gets here?

Speaker 5 (49:52):
It's been here since about four point thirty, So I
would say, yes, would you.

Speaker 1 (49:57):
Meet this Nothing that's going to happen to it in
three hours?

Speaker 6 (50:01):
You keep the studio about negative sixty's frozen like a
Morgan man.

Speaker 2 (50:05):
Yes, Christian and the corpses. Christian, I got a pants
down story for you, Thank you very much. Down.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
This is from Chaha and Christian.

Speaker 2 (50:19):
I was at a large shopping center and I was
in a beauty salon having a bikini wax. The lady
went out put the wax on. The next thing, the
sliding door opens and another beautitian is in the doorway yelling.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Fire aller, we have to get out now.

Speaker 2 (50:34):
The beautician attending me said nothing, dropped her tools and
left me lying there. I jumped up, stole waxed, and
put my undies and skirt back on. No time for shoes.
I literally had to run and they were pulling the
store gate down. I had to do a little limbo
dance stop them locking me in the shop. I followed
the crowd and up on the main road outside this

(50:54):
shopping center. The whole thing has been evacuated.

Speaker 11 (50:58):
Me.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
No shoes are my undy stuck to me with the wax?
Oh no, and no, Christian, I wasn't parano.

Speaker 1 (51:06):
I don't need The staff were gathering around pointing at me,
disgusting me in giggling. They knew what I had on
under my clothes.

Speaker 2 (51:12):
When we left back in, I know the beauticians would
have a good old laughs, so I said to her,
go and have a laugh. No discount, though I had
that burn slash rash for nearly two months. You really
suffered for this story, but thank you so much for
sharing it with us. Joe Am Brown take about brilliant story, Christian.

(51:38):
Do you and the team want to hear an old
nursing joke? Colleen is a nurse of many years. She's
got an old nursing joke for us.

Speaker 1 (51:46):
Do you want to hear it? Of course? And it's
on you guys.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a backside one?

Speaker 1 (51:54):
The Taste.

Speaker 4 (51:57):
Christian O'Connell show podcast.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
Time for today's time waster. Today we're looking for your
clothing movies. It is World Fashion Week. Did you see
what they were wearing at the met Garla? And that
really is just the idiot parade, isn't it. Do they
think we care you look stupid at a time like this,

(52:24):
No one's impressed.

Speaker 1 (52:25):
Even without the.

Speaker 2 (52:26):
Cost of living in fuel crisis. You just look an idiot.

Speaker 1 (52:30):
I swirling around. Look at this idiots.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
I'd like to go up there with my own or
terms of concountry.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
Look at this jerk jay joke day Travis Cows, you
have dumb I love the podcast.

Speaker 2 (52:44):
So all right, what do we think are in the
top five most fashionable countries this year? Don't worry about Australia.
They't even going to be the top one thousand. It's
a smart occasion. I wear board shorts and a Bintang
T shirt.

Speaker 6 (53:00):
I did see a Hawaiian shirt at a wedding recently,
so I didn't that.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
Was her dress.

Speaker 5 (53:07):
Italy's got to be number one, number two.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
You'll be stunned with the number one.

Speaker 6 (53:14):
Japan No.

Speaker 2 (53:15):
Number four and number five the Yanks no gains stuff,
get out of it. France it's number three, number two.
Italy career, I've not been there. I can't speak the stylishness. Yes,
they're very fashioned forward.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
What does that even mean? Get yourself on the red
carpet of the met Gala, not North Korea's.

Speaker 2 (53:36):
Yeah, well, this is one outfit. It makes it easy
getting ready in the morning. Just that one outfit. All right,
we're looking for your clothing movies, sylves.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
Socky Balboa.

Speaker 6 (54:00):
That's golden ruined.

Speaker 1 (54:01):
I just sat here for a while. I didn't know
what to do, like a little baby having a poop.

Speaker 2 (54:06):
School of Crocs Silver plus reservoir Fox Silver, very different
kind of Taranty movie.

Speaker 1 (54:13):
You want a remake?

Speaker 2 (54:14):
I'd watched that newsical actually, God now in this country,
of course. One thing I will say is very stylish
that you love the famed acubra.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
You ready for the movie with the gubra Akubra.

Speaker 2 (54:30):
Hamley, You know what that's gone bonus to anyone who
can wheedle in a cubra. And I didn't need another
rugg Ones, but you got one anyway.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
Theist, Oh my lord, haunted pair of ugs.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
You'll hear that one again at Halloween when we do
Halloween movies. So I just foul that one there for now,
eyot putting it in the bin the Xist. Not the
last time we've heard that one wheeled out Ria. What
have you got clothing?

Speaker 1 (54:59):
Movies?

Speaker 6 (55:00):
Some cruises looking a bit fruity.

Speaker 1 (55:01):
Yeah, krop top gun.

Speaker 6 (55:05):
Bronze by big Mamma's blouse.

Speaker 2 (55:10):
Yes, certain phrases make me a laugh. Blowns is one
of them. Nika's another one.

Speaker 1 (55:17):
It's just funny.

Speaker 6 (55:19):
Jackie Chan very sun safe at the beach today it's
Rashi hour.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
We call it like fashion or we can't go. Met
gan on a rash Guard of Australia.

Speaker 6 (55:29):
So yeah, okay, Gold and Rambos just wanted into our
surf diving ski and what he do hes getting to mambo.

Speaker 1 (55:38):
What sucky moc suck. It's comedy, it's not comedy. Facing
his comedy.

Speaker 4 (55:43):
Backwards the Christian O'Connell show podcast.

Speaker 1 (55:48):
A correction is needed.

Speaker 2 (55:50):
One of my family members have said, hey, someone's told
us that you were talking about the dog collar we
got for our dog that passed away two years ago.
Nisha loved Jrummy shed Dong and I said, they thought
it was funny because I walked the dog.

Speaker 1 (56:02):
It was really my dog. The collar said bitch that
actually said.

Speaker 2 (56:05):
Fabulous bitch, which is even stranger to see me walking
a dog with a dog collar.

Speaker 1 (56:10):
That says fabulous bitch.

Speaker 6 (56:12):
My mug that I use every single day says fabulous
bitch on it. I don't know, I've just got it.

Speaker 1 (56:18):
Maybe we start our own brats. I don't know why my.

Speaker 2 (56:25):
Daughter thinks that I need to clear that that in
case anyone's still confused.

Speaker 1 (56:29):
All right, is it really that?

Speaker 6 (56:30):
What it said is you can add anything to that
of all the things to correct.

Speaker 1 (56:33):
On the show.

Speaker 6 (56:35):
All right.

Speaker 2 (56:36):
Today we're looking for your clothing movies on the time
waister five hundred dollars to spend online at Cogan dot
com for the Western Show clothing movies.

Speaker 1 (56:44):
Paul has got scarf Face.

Speaker 6 (56:46):
Clever silver plus c.

Speaker 1 (56:50):
Fabulous riches of Eastwick. Are those breeches silver?

Speaker 11 (56:57):
What on?

Speaker 1 (56:58):
Kim Zanoni?

Speaker 9 (57:00):
What?

Speaker 6 (57:01):
And here's a shoe gold gold gold.

Speaker 1 (57:05):
Well done, Joel Beanie like Beckham gold as well? Forest
pumps silver.

Speaker 2 (57:14):
Now I did ask for a bonus one for anyone
who can wheedle in a Cubra and a kubra.

Speaker 6 (57:20):
Oh very good, that's very very good.

Speaker 2 (57:23):
Keith not Joe dirt Poncho dirt ye silver plus Save
the Last Pants Silver My best Friend's Wedding silver plus,
Daniel Jimmankini gold horrific, Well, horrific kids, Maybe that way,
Jamankini Jap Black in a Mankini Powerful King Thong gold Dude,

(57:46):
Where's my Kubra Bronze?

Speaker 1 (57:49):
The Dark Nightie very different, Christian Beale movie.

Speaker 2 (57:53):
It's just him in a ninety fighting crime Fighting Baine
in the ninety oh Trackies to the Future Silver Iron,
Mankini Silver Minister at Coats, Puffer the Magic Dragon silver plus.

Speaker 1 (58:08):
As of one Clogs.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
Clogs didn't get a call obviously a Dutch friend. Uh,
Paul wolfsh well done for that one.

Speaker 1 (58:18):
Nappy Gilmore, Oh, very good clothing idea.

Speaker 2 (58:22):
What you're saying, Nappy is clothing? It is technically well
if he thought that's questionable? What about this one? You
remember the movie Someone's Gotta Give. Oh yeah, what about
Someone's got a gimp mask? I meant cothing? Why is
that on top of someone's mind this morning at five tonight?
And I don't know what goes on their heads?

Speaker 1 (58:41):
Sometimes? Hashtag listeners Someone's got a gimp mask? Wow? Wow? Sorry, okay,
the great hat speed, great hats, It's great. I hope
there's a hat shot somewhere Australia got the great.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
Hat speed if not going to open one next Monday. Dude,
where's my cardigan silver? Donnye Akubrasco. They really tried some'th
like to Crocodile Undi.

Speaker 1 (59:11):
Or quite on the wife front.

Speaker 2 (59:14):
What a great war movie and like a virgin Oh
very uh that's from Neil Okay, who is best in
show this morning.

Speaker 6 (59:23):
I loved the Great Hatsby, The Great Hatsby.

Speaker 2 (59:25):
You are today's winning You win five hundred dollars to
spend at Coogan dot com.

Speaker 1 (59:31):
Now that is clicking.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
Awesome and once more, Wow, we are back tomorrow morning
Stand Up Mums Live.

Speaker 1 (59:39):
Wow, we've heard the mums on the phone.

Speaker 2 (59:43):
Now they're here at the radio station live tomorrow morning.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
I'm actually nervous.

Speaker 2 (59:49):
No, no, no, you can't organize mums when they get
together on more than one, they got a big energy.
They would organize us, one pointing they'd be organizing me.

Speaker 6 (59:59):
That'd be nice for a change.

Speaker 4 (01:00:02):
Christian O'Connell show on podcast.

Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
Harry into Chemnist warehouse for their mess Mother's Day Fragrance
sale Get coach by Coach thirty mil for thirty nine
ninety nine in store and online.

Speaker 4 (01:00:14):
Now Chemist Warehouse is Fragrance