September 2, 2026 • 42 mins
Christian is off sick, so we've put together some of our favourite moments from the show.
From the great Tim Tam debate to listeners' lineup confessions, unforgettable wardrobe malfunctions, and Monkey Movies for AWTW.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
iHeart Podcasts. Hear more gold podcasts, playlists, and listen live
on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Got anything good?
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Hey, this is the Christian O'Connell Show Podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Spoil Dad This Father's Day with the Chemist Warehouse Fragrance Sale.
Shop a huge range of big brand fragrances at the
lowest prices. Chemist Warehouse, helping you spoil dad this father's day. Hey,
pod squad. My new book, Unscript, The Radical Act of
Being Yourself, is now actually out, which actually means you
can buy online or in your good independent bookshops, and
(00:48):
also the audiobook, which is voiced by me, and also
you can get the Kindle as well. So please, As
you're reading it in the book, you'll realize I've got
my personal email in there. Please let me know how
you get on with it as well. I hope you
really enjoy it. Please check it out. Unscript, The Radical
Act of Being Yourself. And now today's show. Enjoy.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Now, I have had food poisoning for the last couple
of days. And if you've ever had severe food poisoning,
it's awful. But also your whole body gets inflamed. And
so I think that's why this morning, I'm also now
in a lot of pain. I put my back out.
And the way I did it, I was feeding the
cat this morning, and I just bent down to feed
the bloody cat, Larry, at like 5 a.m., and I
(01:34):
felt my back go straight away. I had to actually
take a knee, grab the kitchen top, and claw my
way up. And that cat didn't even look in my
distressed way. Eyes down, nose in that bowl. Like he
hadn't been fed in like 12 hours ago, Larry. You
are not a man's best friend. Larry, I'm struggling here. Straining,
(01:55):
straining to claw back up to the upright position and
then slowly make my way to try and find some painkillers. Oh,
my God. I know. Just too much. The Uber driver
had to help me out of the car this morning.
Did you have to ask him to help you or
did he? It was clear that he went, you're all right, man.
I went, I've actually got my back this morning. He went,
let me come and just help get the bag out,
(02:16):
which is a polite way to a man, you know,
to say I'll help you get out as well.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
That's very kind.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Yeah, which is a great start to the day. Well,
welcome to Showbiz. All right, so what I want to
do this morning is I want to take an inventory
of all of our listeners right now. I'm willing to
bet that quite a few of our listeners are injured
right now. And I want to know how you've done it.
Because actually, you don't have to be doing anything too
strenuous these days to injure yourself. It can be something
(02:43):
quite minor, like feeding a cat. I've fed that cat
thousands of times. why this morning ping the back's gone
and you feel that immediately like lock up and they're
like how book a physio session yeah that's what is
the time and the effort it's just like it's not
it's worse than the pain it's a thought of all
future time and effort.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
And the physio fees oh god all of that.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
And not just that it's when you've hurt your back
and you're going to see them they go i'll just
give you a couple of minutes you need more time
because your back's screwed you can't get the old Reg
Grundy's and that. You can't get them off easily.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Why are you getting your undies off?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
It's just the thing I always like to do. And
they said, don't do that in reception.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
Mr.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
O'Connell, you're here for your shoulder. We've told you about
getting stripped down in reception. It isn't a good look.
It's scaring people.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Who is injured right now? What's wrong with you? Now, Leanne,
what's up with you?
Speaker 6 (03:39):
Christian, it's terrible. I turned 57 last Monday.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Well, happy birthday, first of all. Belated happy birthday.
Speaker 6 (03:47):
Thank you. So I'm already feeling down and out at
turning 57. And then on Friday, I'm sitting at work
on my chair, which is on wheels, and I pushed
my chair away from the desk. and did my entire back,
I am now seeing a chiropractor. I have heat packs,
cold packs, everything going on. I can't turn my neck
when I'm driving, all from pushing my chair out from
(04:09):
my desk.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Oh my God, you've really wrecked yourself.
Speaker 6 (04:13):
To go with that 3057 was terrible for me.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
No that's not that old I mean you poor thing
you must be.
Speaker 6 (04:19):
In agony I am in agony Christian it.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Feels like you did one of those movies you know
you see on that what's that Pilates bed of torch
they got the recliner or the reformer reformer yeah that's
what you kind of turned your office into one of
those who knew it was so dangerous those slidey chairs
right from wheelie chair to wheelchair.
Speaker 6 (04:39):
That could be nearly nearly that's.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Something It's something. Leanne, lovely to hear from you. Thanks
for cheering us up. Have a good day. Hope you
feel better as well.
Speaker 6 (04:50):
Thank you. Have a good day.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Thank you. Who have we got here now? Karina.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Hello, Christian.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Good morning, Karina. Welcome to the show. How have you
hurt yourself?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Well, last night I was doing some late night vacuuming
and didn't realize I actually left the vacuum out. So
I tripped over my vacuum last night and I possibly
have a broken toe.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Oh no. Oh God, that's what a pain. Is it
what you saw this morning? I know.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
It is swollen and I've taped it up, but I'm
not going to look at it today because it's just
going to give me anxiety. So unfortunately, I won't be
doing much day at work, but sitting down and making
orders for everyone to bring my lunch today because I
won't be getting up at all.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
That's great. So basically, it's that great adult thing of
I will process and deal with that later. That's right.
And you can't even kick it down the road because
you've hurt your toes.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
No, I can't. So thankfully it's my left toe and
not my right foot because otherwise I won't be driving
at all and my poor husband will have to take
me to work as well this morning.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Okay, well listen, thank you very much for calling the show.
I hope you feel better soon.
Speaker 7 (05:56):
Thank you, Christian.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Take care. Have a good day. Thanks for calling.
Speaker 8 (05:59):
Thank you.
Speaker 9 (05:59):
Bye-bye.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
And Mark, how have you injured yourself, Mark? Welcome to
the show.
Speaker 10 (06:04):
Good morning. How are you?
Speaker 4 (06:07):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Where do I even start? I've been attacked by prawns.
I've had my back feed the cat, Mark. I'm in
a bit of a mess today, Mark.
Speaker 10 (06:15):
Yeah, no, I hurt my back today getting out of
the shower and drying myself and getting ready for work
and put the socks on, bent down, slipped halfway, caught
myself and jarred the back and got up this morning.
The wife said, get out of bed because, you know, you've.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Got to work.
Speaker 10 (06:33):
You can't have any more days off. And so, yeah,
this morning I had to sit down on the toilet
just to put the underwear on.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Mark, it's a terrible way when you've hurt your back
to start the day like that. And even just getting
changed to get out the door feels like too much work. Well, listen, Mark,
I hope you're right at work today. Thanks for calling
the show.
Speaker 10 (06:53):
No worries.
Speaker 7 (06:54):
Thanks, guys.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Now, I was about to go into something new and
start something new, a different conversation with you guys, but
I cannot move on. Earlier on this morning, about 20
minutes ago, Rio and I were chatting and I thought
it was just, it wasn't a topic for discussion. It
was very clear cut. And especially in a country with
climate like Australia, we all love our Tim Tams. They
belong in the fridge. Yes. They last longer. And I
(07:21):
think chocolate coming out the fridge just tastes, it does
taste different, but it tastes better. The chocolateness is preserved.
It's going to meet the mild. And then as we
get into the summer, warmer temperatures of Australia, The chocolate integrity,
the CI, if you will, is going to be compromised.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
You're so right.
Speaker 11 (07:41):
I've never heard the phrase chocolate integrity, but now I
can't stop thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
No, no, no. But the producers are up in arms.
The Chuckle Sisters, you vehemently disagree.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
Like, I cannot.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
We can't even say the word. There's nothing I disagree.
Speaker 12 (07:56):
With more than this in the world. Chocolate in the
fridge is a hard no, and scientifically... Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
You printed off some what I call fake facts.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
They're not fake facts.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
They're fake facts.
Speaker 8 (08:08):
Scientific facts.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
That's me tearing out your little fake facts. Putting chocolate
in the fridge. Your school project's on the floor.
Speaker 7 (08:14):
Changes the taste.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Run and tell your mummy.
Speaker 12 (08:16):
According to actual scientifics.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Yes, but actual scientifics.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
God damn it! But it improves the taste.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Oh, I love scientific. Scientific. Oh, yes.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
The facts.
Speaker 12 (08:29):
Cold temperature dulls the flavour.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Get out of there.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Fake facts. Fake facts.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
The texture changes.
Speaker 12 (08:38):
Chocolate is designed.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
To melt just below body temperature.
Speaker 12 (08:42):
So when you pop it in the fridge, it stays
harder longer and you don't get that smooth melt in
the mouth feeling.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
No, I don't want premature melting. Otherwise, it's all gone
too soon.
Speaker 12 (08:51):
Also, it can absorb other odours from the fridge, which
changes the taste of the chocolate. Yeah, I'm happy for that.
Speaker 7 (08:57):
That's terrible.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Yeah, I like to have a bit of chocolate with it.
A taint of a bit of cheddar there. Or some
just about to sour milk. Mmm. Has this got an
innocence of mould here? High notes of mould. And a
little bit of feta there as well. And a red
onion that's been in there too long.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Like red wine, you would take out and you would
open the lid.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yes. It's called the lid. A cork. Commonly known for lids.
Speaker 11 (09:20):
And it changes the flavour, but it improves the flavour.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
That's right, yes.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
It grows.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Oxidisation is happening.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Yes.
Speaker 12 (09:28):
But red wine also is outside of the fridge. You
shouldn't put red wine in the fridge.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Depends what country, and sometimes they stick a pinot in
the fridge. There's a thing called... Fridge coolers and wine coolers.
A chilled red. Ever heard of it?
Speaker 4 (09:39):
For whites. No, there's chilled reds.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Look it up.
Speaker 13 (09:41):
No, there's reds as well.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Thank you. Patsy would know. Now, Patsy. Patsy, Patsy, Patsy.
Where would you put a Tim Tam?
Speaker 4 (09:46):
In the fridge, absolutely. Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
The single most, the mother of Australia, on this show,
I will bow down to Patsy. Asterix occasionally.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
Simple maths.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Yes, simple maths. Science meets maths, and maths puts a
beat down on scientific sass. That's what's happening right now, Australia.
Grab Gabby popcorn. All right, so it's a simple question.
Tim Tams, in or out? In the fridge or out
the fridge? It's in.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
It's in.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Surely you're with us on this one, Australia.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
The Christian O'Connell Show.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Go on.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Podcast.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Are we a divided nation this morning? I fear we are.
It's all come down to this moment. Tim Tams, in
or out of the fridge? Where are you on this
great divide? Rio and I and Patsy united for once
in the fridge. It is going off today in this
show and also now on the lines. When two Tams
(10:48):
go to war. Good morning to Cardi Christian. Tim Tams 100%
out of the fridge. Can't have cold ones for the
Tim Tams lamps. Christian, Tim Tam's definitely in the fridge. Toblerone, however, no,
you break your jaw. We're not talking about Toblerone. That
lives in an area all by itself. Christian, I'm from
(11:11):
the Blue Mountains. Congratulations. What do you want, a badge?
When medicine is yucky, you put it in the fridge
so it won't taste as much. Normal chocolate out of
the fridge, but Tim Tam's in the fridge so they
don't melt on your fingers.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I hate that tacky gooeyness. You're losing 30% to your fingers.
They're getting more of it than you. And then it's
all gooey and you've got to wipe them somewhere. Yep. No, no, no. No, no, no. Cleaner.
And also, like steaks, you put those in the fridge.
Then you can raise it up if there are some
guests who are savages or feral. you can raise it
(11:49):
to room temperature for them. Exactly. Take it out of
the fridge two hours before guests come round if you're
serving as a vol-au-vent. All right, let's take some calls
here this morning. Claire, good morning.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
For the love of God, you've got to be kidding me.
They have to be out of the fridge.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Christian Patz, I'm... Sorry, sounds like there's a problem with
your line there, Claire. Hello, Claire? Claire? Claire? Claire? Claire?
Speaker 4 (12:12):
She's run away.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Oh, no. Claire, Claire, Claire, Claire, are you there? Claire? Oh, no, okay.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
We have to move on.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Let's try Chris here. Good morning, Chris.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Yes, good morning. Love your work, Christian. Tim Tams and
red wine in the fridge in Australia on the kitchen
bench in England.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Now, look, I agree with the Tim Tams in the fridge,
but I can't stand any wine that's been anywhere near
a fridge. Red wine should not be in the fridge.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Even a nice chilled wine on a summer's day?
Speaker 1 (12:42):
No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. It
doesn't get... that warm where it's like tea yeah that's
true no come on oh so you don't leave out
in the baking sun do you no no we don't
it's not on the barbecue being warmed up uh but
yeah chris i'm with you in the fridge for the
tim tams let's go to tommy now morning tommy.
Speaker 14 (13:02):
G'day there definitely ttc temperature touch control gotta be in
the fridge gotta be.
Speaker 9 (13:08):
In the fridge Oh, the wife.
Speaker 5 (13:10):
The wife will know clearly because there's drip marks everywhere.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
In and out. Yes.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
This is it. It starts. If you've got hot hands
like you and I, it melts to touch.
Speaker 15 (13:21):
Mate, and when you've got tradie hands as well.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Same here.
Speaker 14 (13:23):
All to do with the respect. Yeah, the wife will
go to town on you.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
She'll know straight away. Absolutely. My wife goes to town
on me only once a year on my birthday.
Speaker 12 (13:32):
Oh, no.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
No, no, I mean takes me to town. Will take
me into town, do some shopping, go and get some
new Deez merch or something like that. Or a new
pair of sneaks for the new school year. All right, Tommy,
thank you very much. It's good to clear up that misunderstanding. Nicky,
good morning, Nicky.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
Good morning.
Speaker 10 (13:49):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I'm good, Nicky. So, in or out? Tim Tams, in
or out of the fridge?
Speaker 3 (13:53):
In!
Speaker 1 (13:53):
In, do you say?
Speaker 3 (13:55):
In!
Speaker 4 (13:56):
In!
Speaker 1 (13:58):
In! Nicky said in. Who have we got here? We're
just annoying people today. Christy, good morning.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Hello.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Hi, Christy. In or out of the fridge for Tim Tams?
Speaker 15 (14:07):
Well, weather dependent for me. So summertime, I would keep
them in the fridge because you don't want meltage. But
any other time of the year, 100% in the cupboard
in the biscuit barrel.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Now, intern Pete is with us. Yes, hello. You have
heard from the CEO. This goes right to the top
of Arnott's.
Speaker 16 (14:28):
It feels like election night.
Speaker 8 (14:29):
I've got paperwork going on everywhere. The question is, before
we get to the official answer, is how did we
get there? Let's just remind everyone. A lot of people
might not know this. Ian Norris, he invented the Tim Tam.
I reached out for a statement to him first. He
invented it.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
He was a food technologist. It would be an English
guy called Ian.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 16 (14:47):
He's dead. He's no longer with us, which is very sad.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Oh, God, too soon.
Speaker 12 (14:50):
R.I.P.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Ian Norris.
Speaker 16 (14:51):
Sorry, I probably said that a bit bluntly.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Yeah, you did.
Speaker 16 (14:52):
But I reached out to family members.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Unfortunately, no. Well, they don't need bothered by some crazy
Australian on the radio, a middle-aged intern. When did he pass?
Speaker 16 (15:01):
Well, he passed away in 2014. Very, very sad.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
And they kept him in a fridge?
Speaker 4 (15:05):
Well, no, I'm not sure.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
On the bench.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
I'm not sure.
Speaker 8 (15:08):
But I just thought maybe he had a conversation at
some stage with.
Speaker 16 (15:12):
A family member and said, yeah, you've got to keep
them in the fridge or not in the fridge.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
I think his last words were, please come closer. Marie,
come closer.
Speaker 16 (15:19):
Rest in peace, Ian. George is the CEO.
Speaker 8 (15:24):
Now, one of his team members has worked tirelessly to
give us an official statement. Now, I'm going to say
this is a little bit wordy, so hear me out.
For clarity as well, back in the.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Have they actually given us a statement this early? Like
the first thing the CEO of Arnott's has been forced
to do?
Speaker 16 (15:39):
Pretty much, pretty much.
Speaker 8 (15:40):
Basically, also, just remember, in 2025, they actually did a
partnership with Woolworths where they offered on the shelf or
in the fridge.
Speaker 16 (15:47):
So they were having both options there.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, a big.
Speaker 16 (15:50):
Campaign with Woolworths, which was just fantastic. So this is
the statement from Arnott's. Nearly half of Aussies prefer a cool.
Speaker 8 (15:56):
Tim Tam with 40% stating they choose to store it
in the fridge. And just 35% in the pantry, with
a further 15% of Tim Tams prefer both.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
So both. It's a hung state.
Speaker 16 (16:10):
It's a very diplomatic state.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
But what would the CEO do?
Speaker 16 (16:15):
Well, I've had to analyse what he has said there,
and it basically... Oh, the pantry wins. No, it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
No, it doesn't. No, listen. Get George on the line.
Call George.
Speaker 16 (16:29):
Call George now.
Speaker 11 (16:30):
How can 40% say they're in the fridge, 35% in
the pantry, and you think pantry wins?
Speaker 1 (16:34):
No. Based on what? That doesn't add up.
Speaker 16 (16:37):
That's people. That's simple maths, as.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Patty would say. Well, simple maths are simple.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
Don't get me involved in this.
Speaker 13 (16:43):
I was agreeing with you.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
No, we're agreeing with you. Pete Maths doesn't, Peteonomics does
not wash.
Speaker 16 (16:47):
Sorry, wait, I've got some more.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Why are you waving a small laptop at me?
Speaker 16 (16:50):
Oh, because I've just got another email from Arnott.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
It's okay, one second.
Speaker 16 (16:53):
We will send you guys just heaps of Tim Tams.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Okay, that's good. I need George on the line now.
I want to know, what does George do? If we
go around George to CEO's house, where are the Tim Tams, George?
If I'm going into the pantry, I ain't happy, George.
Or if I'm going in George's fridge, and I'm guessing
it's a Fisher and Paykel, or a Westinghouse, I'm going
to see the Tim Tams in the crisper. I hope so. George0421.
Speaker 16 (17:16):
Sorry, I can't read his mobile number.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
That's fine.
Speaker 16 (17:18):
We'll try him now.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Back in.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
We had an amazing email from Vanessa. This is for
What Are The Odds? Where every Wednesday we look for
your stories of coincidence and chance. She told this incredible
story that when she was in primary school, her friends
and her used to walk to school together and on
the way they'd pick some lemons. We did it so
often that they started taking sugar and spoons every morning
to make them taste even better. Those were the days, kids,
for four apps. There's no Snapchatting. The old lady that
(17:48):
lived up there ended up catching us taking her lemons.
She went to school and picked us out one by one,
pointing at us with her walking stick. This is an
incredible scene, right? I think you said yesterday, actually, off air,
shame on the school for indulging that lady. You can't
just wander up to school and go, hey, can you
sort up a line-up for me, please?
Speaker 4 (18:09):
Oh, they're in the middle of class.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Do you know who did it?
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
So you've got to sort them in a line-up. Well,
just tell us now. Yes, yeah. You've got to make
them terrifying experience of in a line-up as a young'un.
That stays with you for ages. That fear of an
old lady walking up, tapping it like a stick. You know,
like a jailer in prison dragging it along the ground.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
You had no rights back in the day, it seemed,
as a child.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
No, no.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
You forfeited all rights.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yes, you forfeited all rights the moment you were born.
So today on the show, we're looking for anyone who
has been in a line-up. Obviously, young Vanessa, at the
age of eight, was in the Lemon Tree line-up. You know,
it's a case I'm sure is known as now. Have
you ever been in a line-up?
Speaker 3 (18:46):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Ever been in a line-up? Lee Masterson's got an incredible story. Christine,
many years ago, I was selected to do jury duty,
and as I was waiting to be selected, the accused
lawyer rejected me because I look too much like the deceased. Oh, wow. Wow.
(19:10):
That is incredible. Uh, Patty, have you just called? Now
the tumor told me you called someone to find out
information about how they, find people.
Speaker 13 (19:19):
How they seek them.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yes.
Speaker 13 (19:20):
So my cousin is an acting inspector at the moment, Jess.
Thank you, Jess, for taking my call.
Speaker 16 (19:25):
Because she's on the job.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Thank you, Detective Inspector Jess.
Speaker 13 (19:28):
And she has been in the force 20 years now.
She said she has never actually done one. They're very,
very rare. But how they work is if you've got
a description of a crook, for example, blonde hair, blue eyes,
they will go out onto the street literally or into
a shopping centre, look at like Looking people. So similar
looking features.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
I guess that was how it worked.
Speaker 7 (19:50):
Yes.
Speaker 13 (19:51):
And go up to them and say, would you be
prepared to be in a police lineup? You have to
seek their permission.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
Can I just grab them?
Speaker 8 (19:58):
No.
Speaker 13 (19:58):
You just have to, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
She said, I'm not going to sign. Blondie, get in
the van.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
Yeah, you look sus. You look sus. But that's how
it works.
Speaker 13 (20:06):
As simple as that.
Speaker 15 (20:08):
But she said they're very rare.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
I thought they just might have asked people out in
the office. just to make up the numbers.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
They have to look a bit like them, I guess.
Do you get paid, though?
Speaker 7 (20:18):
Do you know?
Speaker 15 (20:19):
No, you don't.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
I've never got the money for that. It's not like
extra work, is it?
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Well, take a time out of my day to stay alive.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Toadfish is in between projects at the moment. He's back
in yet another line-up. He's getting some head shots while
he's there.
Speaker 13 (20:31):
And she said quite commonly people will say no.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Yeah, I bet.
Speaker 13 (20:35):
Of course, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
All right, well, do thank Detective Inspectors. Coming on a
job right now as well. I'd imagine they're hiding behind
a hedge somewhere. And her mobile goes off. She didn't
put it on. Who the hell is that? Hang on.
Just buy a crook right now. Actually, Patsy is the
only person I know under the age of 900 who
uses the word crook.
Speaker 15 (20:53):
It's a great old word.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
It is, it is, it is. All right, Lisa. Good morning, Lisa.
Speaker 7 (20:59):
Good morning, Christian.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Lisa, welcome to the show. So have you been in
line up? This is a different kind of line up.
Speaker 7 (21:06):
I haven't personally been in a lineup, but my husband's
been in what you might call an audio lineup.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Oh, I love the sound of this. An audio lineup.
How did that work?
Speaker 7 (21:14):
Well, he was in Darwin. He was going to school
in Darwin. He was about 13 years old. Just started
high school. And him and his mate wagged school, wagged
a couple of lessons, went down to the milk bar
playing Battlestar Galactica.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Good times. And.
Speaker 7 (21:32):
During that time, somebody has done a bomb scare at
the school, at his school. And so they were trying
to sneak back into school after their 20 cents had
run out and looking pretty guilty. So trying to sneak
back into school and they got caught and they had
to go into the office and talk on a phone,
(21:55):
the old dial-up, and say over the phone... there's a
bomb in the club.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Oh, wow. Are you kidding? This is a voice lineup. Yeah.
Speaker 7 (22:05):
A voice lineup. And so then the old receptionist is like, yep,
that's them.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
That's so Lindsay. Yeah, it is. That's not admissible in court,
is it?
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Oh, yeah, it sounds about right. Yeah, it sounds like, what,
a kid's voice? They all sounded a bit squeaky at
that age.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
And surely if you're the kid, you're putting on a
bit of a.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Voice or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 7 (22:25):
Bomb!
Speaker 4 (22:26):
There's a bomb there.
Speaker 7 (22:29):
And no offence, but my husband still, at 58, has
a very high-pitched voice.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
He's terrified to reveal his true voice unless that receptionist goes,
it is him!
Speaker 16 (22:41):
It is them.
Speaker 7 (22:45):
So nothing really big deal happened, but the police were there.
Speaker 14 (22:48):
Police were called.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Police came.
Speaker 7 (22:50):
There was no bomb in the school.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
No, of course not. Wow. Lisa, incredible story.
Speaker 7 (22:54):
But that was just the way we got out of
school in those days.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Yeah. Lisa, thank you very much for the story. Brilliant one.
Speaker 7 (22:58):
It was.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah. That's incredible.
Speaker 7 (23:01):
Nick.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Good morning, Nick.
Speaker 14 (23:03):
Good morning, Christian.
Speaker 10 (23:04):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
I'm good, Nick. And welcome to the show. So have
you been in a line-up?
Speaker 14 (23:08):
Yes, picture the scene. It was the mid-1990s in the UK,
impoverished first-year uni student just walking the streets of the
city centre and approached by a policeman and asked to
accompany him to the station. and did a line-up and,
unlike what Patsy said, did do it for money. So
I was paid £ 10, which puts a whole new meaning
(23:29):
on £ 10 POM. Then actually went on to make a
career of it. Did about six across my university years.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Suspicious ass face.
Speaker 14 (23:41):
The issue after the first one was I left with
my £ 10 and walking the streets to get back to
university accommodation, somebody tried to mug me for the £ 10.
You're joking.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
So now you're back in the line-up, but you're not
in the line-up. You're working the line-up.
Speaker 14 (23:58):
Working the line-up.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
You must have had, like, a loyalty card at that
cop shop in London. Absolutely. Oh, mate, Nick's back. Better
call Nick.
Speaker 14 (24:07):
It was about the last one I did where the
alleged perpetrator between doing the offence and the line-up had
grown a moustache, so had to mow. So all of
us in the line-up were asked to wear duct tape
on our pockets.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
No.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Nick, this is one of the funniest stories I've ever heard.
Can you point out Hitler from this line-up, please? You
think he was up to no good. Oh, wow. Wow. Nick,
one of the funniest stories of the year. We're sending
some prizes. Really, really funny stuff, Nick. Thank you for sharing.
Speaker 14 (24:39):
Great. No problem. Thanks, Christian.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
My God, what stories.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Christian, talk about shortest time on a job. You've got
to be talking about Mal Meninger's political career. Of course.
Speaker 7 (24:51):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Right there. That press conference. Good on him. He's like,
I don't know how to do this.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
You've got to find the audio for that.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yes. How long was it?
Speaker 4 (25:01):
It's so long.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Before he said, I'm going to have my ass on this. Bye.
See you later, guys. If only more politicians had that
kind of honesty.
Speaker 11 (25:07):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Do you know what? I can't. I can't actually. It
turns out I can't lie for a living. All right.
We're talking about shortest time in a job. We've had
some great stories so far. Keep them going. Christian, I
may have the shortest one for you. I went to
my interview on a Thursday. Everything went well. I was
adorable and I got the job. Signed the contracts, ready
to start the following Monday. Next afternoon, I got a
call saying they'd restructured my department and my position is
(25:30):
no longer required. So don't bother coming in. I'm fine.
But because I'd signed the contract, they had to give
me six months severance pay. Imagine getting paid for no work.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
That is the dream.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
That's Steph.
Speaker 9 (25:44):
Great.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Christian, I remember a guy that got a job before
Christmas to start in January. Come the Christmas party, he
had his free meal and drinks. We never saw him
ever again. Didn't even do the job. Didn't even do
the job. Just had the welcome drinks. That's all he wanted. Christian,
my shorts were half a day in the early 90s.
The office was below ground, so there was no windows.
I was the only female. The men chain smoked, so
(26:11):
you guessed it, at lunchtime. I emerged into the fresh daylight,
took off, fresh air, and never went back. Who have
we got here? Mark. Good morning, Mark. G'day, Christian. How
are you, buddy? I'm good. Welcome to the show, Mark.
What's your story about shortest time in a job?
Speaker 5 (26:26):
Mate, a couple of years ago, I found myself unemployed,
so I applied for a job as a welder. And
the bloke said, mate, we've got a couple of people.
Can you get here at 6.30 in the morning?
Speaker 3 (26:35):
I said, sure.
Speaker 5 (26:36):
I'll get there in a few days. Well, you can
go first. And I done me a welder test. He goes, mate,
just take a seat out there while I test the
other bloke. Well, I'm sitting outside, the phone rings, and
I've got off for another job. The bloke comes back out,
he goes, when can you start? I said, I was
not interested and got up and walked out.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Mark, thank you very much for giving us a call.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
No problem, thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Did we miss something?
Speaker 4 (26:59):
I think we missed a crucial part of that story.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Yeah, yeah, because Patricia Kane took me through it beforehand
and we missed the most important part. He got another
job offer, didn't he?
Speaker 16 (27:06):
He got another job offer that was paying more.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I think he forgot it. I think Mark still had
that welding mask on while he was calling us, you know?
Speaker 16 (27:12):
And the bloke walked out, said to him, Mark, you
got the job. And he said, I'm not taking it.
I'm taking the other one.
Speaker 7 (27:18):
And he quit on the spot.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Great. Thank you. I like kind of like the translation.
Sometimes we go to the translator on the show, Caitlin,
for some of the rougher callers. Also, how incredible that
to get that job, you had to prove you were
a welder. Who is lying? that they can weld. It's
such a very specific job. They must have installed that
(27:39):
because someone one day turned up to weld a ship
or something. Did they work on the Titanic? And we
can't have that. We can't have lies again. You must
prove that you're a welder. Who have we got here? Meredith.
Good morning, Meredith.
Speaker 17 (27:52):
Good morning, team.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
How are you all?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
We're good, Meredith. What's your story for us?
Speaker 17 (27:57):
I was working in the mid-80s for an insurance company,
and it was back in the days before computers when
everything was done by paper.
Speaker 6 (28:05):
And we had a.
Speaker 17 (28:06):
Bright, sparkly new team leader fresh out of the box
who arrived on a Monday morning, got introduced to everybody,
got himself settled behind his desk, looked around at the
massive mountains of paperwork on.
Speaker 6 (28:21):
Every desk in the office.
Speaker 17 (28:24):
And very quietly took off at lunchtime, and we never
saw him again.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 17 (28:29):
We didn't hear from him.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
Nothing.
Speaker 6 (28:31):
He was gone.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Yeah, it was... No. Bugger this. No. I'm not doing this.
I haven't got it in me. I'm not the man.
Screw this.
Speaker 6 (28:39):
Look, we had to face it, but he couldn't. It
was crazy.
Speaker 9 (28:45):
Crazy.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Yeah, it's crazy. Meredith, thank you very much for the
crazy story. You're welcome.
Speaker 7 (28:49):
Have a great day, everyone.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
And you keep it crazy. Max, good morning. Hey, we're here.
Speaker 10 (28:55):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Max, what's your story?
Speaker 10 (28:57):
Good, good, good.
Speaker 9 (28:57):
So a few years ago, I decided I needed some
extra coins. So I started working in a removalist company
at the Old Man with a Van down in Melbourne.
And well, long story short, I was pretty busy on
the safety induction day. So I decided to skip it,
but I figured, you know, how hard could it be?
So first down the job, I was actually allocated to
drive one of the large trucks. And I kind of
(29:20):
just dived headfirst in and we're at a storage container facility.
And I didn't really know I had to do these
special mirror checks and sort of hand signals with my
partner on the day. And so I started reversing and
the truck seemed to suddenly stop. So I kept putting
in reverse and kept going and kept pushing. And then
I hear this kind of faint scream and I'm like,
(29:41):
oh my God. And I jumped out and I've been
ramming this car, this storage container, uh, not knowing this
over and over.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
That was a key part of that onboarding module. No ramming,
no ramming cars. You ram, you lose.
Speaker 9 (29:57):
Anyway, I had to call the kind of, you know,
center like in that morning. And I was like, I'm so, so,
so sorry, guys. So sorry.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
My goodness.
Speaker 9 (30:05):
Um, Anyway, they sent us to the next job, big
insurance claim, yada, yada, yada. And at the next job,
I grabbed a cupboard and my teammate goes, all right, mate,
we're just doing a diamond carry on this one. So
I said, yep, no worries. I grabbed the cupboard and
the whole thing split in half.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Oh. It's the world's worst removalist. You got it, Ted.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
The old diamond carry.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Say no more.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Got it in the training.
Speaker 9 (30:32):
A lot of respect for removalists. It's actually quite an
art form.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Yeah, I bet.
Speaker 9 (30:38):
Didn't last too long.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Yes. Max, very funny story. Thanks for calling, mate.
Speaker 9 (30:43):
Cheers, guys.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
These stories are gold.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
The Christian O'Connell Show.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Go on.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Podcast.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
All right, so on today's show then, producer Ria, what
happened to these jeans you got from Korea?
Speaker 11 (30:56):
Yeah, I bought these beautiful new Korean jeans, but they
were an ambitious 32, so I reckon I'm more of
a 33, 34, but I thought I would squeeze sort
of back into them when I got back from Korea. Sadly,
the opposite has happened. I've expanded in the waist, and
they literally flung off my pants.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
What, the buttons? Yeah, it was like.
Speaker 11 (31:17):
Blew off as I was getting ready for work. So
I've had to make a late pants switch. And I've
been very humbled by this development.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
All right. We're looking for your stories in about wardrobe
malfunctions on 135522. There is never, ever a good time
for something to split, tear or rip. I remember years ago,
this security guard that worked at one of London's maximum
security guards. And he was on a wing where it
was lifers. And he was getting in a tussle with
(31:46):
one of the inmates. And they went to the ground.
And he said, the prison guard uniforms are very tight. Suddenly,
he's grappling with an actual killer. And he said, they
go to the ground. And all of a sudden, you
hear this. And it's his backside. It's his backside has actually.
(32:06):
And he said. The inmate and him, just because they
just start laughing. It actually de-escalated the situation. He was like,
please can you go back in your cell? You split
my pants. He was like, I'm very sorry about that.
Speaker 4 (32:17):
That is awesome.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Right now, last few stories. Clothing malfunctions, rips and tears.
Good morning, Hayley. This comes in from Hayley Melder. Christian,
I was heading out to local shops. I grabbed my
good pair of trackies. Only in Australia. They have, wait
for it, a good pair of trackies, the posh ones,
(32:44):
you know, for weddings and days in court. I grabbed
my good pair of trackies out fresh from the dryer
and hurriedly put them on whilst they were toasty warm.
Pulled down my shoes and off I went. When I
was in Coles in the cold cheese aisle, I was
unnaturally cold around my lower half. I looked down. Eventually... Tomorrow,
(33:06):
I discovered my dog had chewed the crutch out of
my pants. Front to back.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Oh, my God. All around the old Dandenong Rangers. How
very unfortunate. Hayley, that is tough. Christian, at my wedding,
this is from Alexis, the photographer squatted down to take
the obligatory shot of the bridesmaids, only to stop dead
and go bright red. He had split his pants. front
(33:33):
to back. You've got to take a knee. You're taking
a knee, aren't you? His wife had to help him
back up. Poor guy. Poor guy. But get the photos,
won't you, there. Christian Wayne, my brother was at a
function wearing a brand new suit. After a belly full
of beer, he was walking to get some Maccas. Again,
(33:54):
classy behaviour. He needed to go bad. He saw a
construction site with a port-a-loo. He climbed the fence and...
He completely ripped his pants to pieces at the barbed wire.
But he made it to the toilet. Phew, thank God.
Mission accomplished. And then had to walk to the cab
rank to go home with no pants on.
Speaker 13 (34:13):
Oh, no.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Who's getting that lucky customer? In fact, I'm retiring. It's
my last one. Lauren's on the line. Good morning, Lauren.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 10 (34:24):
Morning, Christian.
Speaker 7 (34:24):
How are you going?
Speaker 5 (34:25):
I'm good, Lauren.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
I hope you're having a good morning. Now, Lauren, what's
your story?
Speaker 7 (34:29):
It was about 10 years ago, and I'll never forget it.
It was a ripper, and it was a wedding. It
was my husband's friend's wedding, and I don't know what
it is, but it's something about the song from Top Gun,
that loving feeling.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
We all know the one, yeah.
Speaker 7 (34:53):
It just brings out something in men. I don't know
what it is, but when it comes on, they all
get together on the dance floor, as many men would know,
after a few beers, and they're arm in arm singing
and dancing to this song. And there was one gentleman
in particular that was extremely enthusiastic. And was in full
(35:14):
character and was holding the pretend microphone, jumping up on,
you know, the stage and then back down again. And
then right at the end of the song, went into
the middle of the circle with a full like slide
on his knees into the centre and ripped his pants.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Yeah, we didn't see, Mav did not do that. Unfortunately
for a lot of women and men, Mav did not
do that.
Speaker 7 (35:40):
We were all in shock and horror and laughing and crying.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
It's a power finish, though. It's a power finish. He
should have bowed like, oh, it's meant to happen. Practicing
that for weeks.
Speaker 7 (35:52):
And he calmly just got himself up. walked off the
dance floor.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
That's the way to do it.
Speaker 7 (35:56):
Didn't say a single word to anybody. Just exited the building.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Yeah, of course he did. And never to be seen since.
Speaker 11 (36:03):
No.
Speaker 6 (36:04):
Incorrect.
Speaker 15 (36:05):
Incorrect.
Speaker 7 (36:06):
He actually, we found out later, he called his mum.
Speaker 15 (36:08):
He called his mum?
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Oh, me. My panty is split.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
He called his mum.
Speaker 7 (36:16):
He said, Mum, my suit's ripped. You need to take
me back to the hired suit shop, which was down
the road. It was an afternoon wedding.
Speaker 14 (36:22):
They were open.
Speaker 7 (36:23):
He went to the suit shop, got fitted out with
a new suit and returned back to the wedding, back on.
Speaker 9 (36:28):
The dance floor.
Speaker 7 (36:28):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Second round of applause for this show today. We're starting
a trend now. That is good behaviour. Just like it
never happened. Lauren, thank you very much for your story, mate.
Have a good day. Thanks for calling the show.
Speaker 7 (36:41):
You too.
Speaker 9 (36:42):
Thanks.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Time for this morning's time waster. Today on International Monkey Day,
we're looking for your monkey movies. The producers have handed
me the top five most famous monkeys of all time. Oh,
good list. Hot topic. I like it. Who do you
think is in there? Pats and Rio. Famous monkeys of
all time. Who comes to mind?
Speaker 13 (37:08):
What was that monkey of the Clint Eastwood movie?
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Clyde. Yes, Clyde. Big orangutan, isn't it? Right-hand turn Clyde.
I love those movies. Any which way but loose. Not
in The Power Five.
Speaker 4 (37:20):
The first monkey in space.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Yes, boom, number one. Albert II.
Speaker 4 (37:25):
Great name for an astronaut monkey.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Great name but terrible job. Oh, yeah, I guess. Number two, Bubbles.
Speaker 13 (37:32):
Michael Jackson's monkey.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
One of the three, Harambe at number four. Harambe! I know.
They just made these up. At four, a fictional one, Marcel,
Ross's pet monkey in French. And at number five, Congo
the painting chimp. I'm not familiar. No, never heard of him.
Created over 400 abstract paintings. Even sold one to Picasso.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
He sold a painting to Picasso. He's impressive.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
That should be at number one. If you're that good
at art, Picasso goes, bloody, I mean, I'm good, but
there's levels to this. What's your name? Congo. I'll buy
it off you. That should be about Ross's one in France,
who just did nothing other than sit on his shoulder. Anyway,
I didn't know I cared that much about the top
five power rankings of tunes, but I really do, turns out.
(38:25):
All right, we're looking for your monkey movies. Be careful
with monkeys. No laughing business. Ripped face off. Oh, no.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Silver. The big baboonski. Gold. Throw caca off on the train.
Silver plus. Gone gorilla. Not gone girl. Gone gorilla. Mystery
surrounds this story. Silver plus. Ape fear. Gold. No Donkey
Kong Country for old men.
Speaker 4 (38:51):
Silver plus.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Saving primate, Ryan.
Speaker 13 (38:54):
Gold.
Speaker 10 (38:54):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
And Seven was a chilling old.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
Movie, wasn't it?
Speaker 3 (38:58):
Oh, I hate that.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
That movie actually gives me nightmares. Don't worry, I've got
a better one. Seven Monkeys Jumping on the Bed.
Speaker 4 (39:02):
That is a much better movie.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
No more monkeys jumping on the bed. You heard what
the doctor said. Mamas has called him.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
Oh, I hate that movie.
Speaker 16 (39:09):
I still have nightmares about it.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
That box. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Genuinely.
We should have realized then, Spacey.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
The clues were pretty straight in front of us.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Hiding in plain sight. Anyway.
Speaker 4 (39:24):
Much nicer movie, though.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Yeah, what you got?
Speaker 4 (39:26):
Deep Chimp Act. Little Albert II.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Up in space. Now we know his name. Yeah, right. Silver.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
Have you seen that movie about the mafia monkeys?
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
Baboon Doxa.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Oh, that's actually really good. Bronze.
Speaker 4 (39:45):
This gorilla's got to do a big talk during wartime.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:49):
It's King Kong speech.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
No, that's good.
Speaker 4 (39:51):
He won an Oscar for it.
Speaker 11 (39:53):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
King Kong speech.
Speaker 11 (39:55):
And RIP, she did a lot of good work, but
her best work was Goodall hunting.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
To Jane Goodall. Yes, very smart. All right, gold for that.
What have you got there? Monkey movies.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
Today's time waster on International Monkey Day. We're looking for
your monkey movies. Rio, you're primed and ready to mark.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
I'm primate and ready to mark.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Oh, my God. This guy's got the zingers. A baboon
with a view.
Speaker 10 (40:23):
Gold.
Speaker 4 (40:23):
Well done, Tracy.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
King Kong and I.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
Not forgiven. Great Western, that. Unforgiven.
Speaker 4 (40:32):
Silver.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Monkey Largo. Silver. I know what you did with the
last banana.
Speaker 4 (40:39):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
She's the mandrill. Silver. Any given Sunday.
Speaker 4 (40:44):
Silver plus.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Chimps playing American football. Great. I'd watch that. Hunt for
the red ass, Toba.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
That's gold.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Well done, Corey. I rung a tango in cash. Silver plus.
The Curious Georgia Benjamin Button. Silver. Almost. Pretty in pink bum. Silver.
Come on. Primates of the Caribbean.
Speaker 4 (41:08):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
When Harry met Sally.
Speaker 9 (41:10):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Well done, Steve. Haunting things of poo. Come on now, bro.
I thought that was gold. It's smart.
Speaker 4 (41:18):
I guess it's smart.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Chimpanzee lander. Silver. Tough luck, Mitch. Silverback mountain.
Speaker 13 (41:26):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
There's simian about Mary. Gold. That's very good, Mark. There's
simian about Mary. Iron mandrill.
Speaker 16 (41:34):
Silver plus.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
What about old Capuchin Phillips?
Speaker 11 (41:36):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Gold. Steve, that's very good. Steve Harmon did that one.
Capuchin Phillips. Diary of a Chimpy Kid. Gold. Well done, Adam.
Monkey Magic Mike. A strip of chimp.
Speaker 4 (41:51):
Oh, now you're talking.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Oh, yeah?
Speaker 4 (41:53):
I don't wonder why I said that.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Gave a little bit too much away there, my friend. Hey,
whatever floats your boat, my friend. You want to pay
cash to a chimp that strips, gives you a little
lap dance? That's your business. Good for you. It's not
exactly what I said. That's what I'm interpreting it as. Anyway,
where were we? I'll tell you where we were.
Speaker 16 (42:11):
Trying to defend myself.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
We're on the radio. Kong in 60 seconds.
Speaker 16 (42:15):
So far.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
What about Big Mamaset's house?
Speaker 7 (42:17):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
What about old monkey magic mic? Oh, he's falling to
pieces over there. Focus, Rio. He's getting all giggly.
Speaker 16 (42:27):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Big Mamaset's house.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
Yeah, still gold.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
Oh, sorry. Macaque to the future. All right. Who is
today's Albert II?
Speaker 4 (42:40):
It's Capuchin Phillips.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Capuchin. You, Dan, give it to Monkey Magic, Mike. You
fall to pieces with excitement. He's salivating at the mouth. Accusations.
The headline. All right. We are back tomorrow. Have a
great day. Thank you very much for joining us.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
The Christian O'Connell Show.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Go on.
Speaker 3 (43:00):
Podcast.
iHeart Podcasts. Hear more gold podcasts, playlists, and listen live
on the free iHeart app.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Got anything good?
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Hey, this is the Christian O'Connell Show Podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Spoil Dad This Father's Day with the Chemist Warehouse Fragrance Sale.
Shop a huge range of big brand fragrances at the
lowest prices. Chemist Warehouse, helping you spoil dad this father's day. Hey,
pod squad. My new book, Unscript, The Radical Act of
Being Yourself, is now actually out, which actually means you
can buy online or in your good independent bookshops, and
(00:48):
also the audiobook, which is voiced by me, and also
you can get the Kindle as well. So please, As
you're reading it in the book, you'll realize I've got
my personal email in there. Please let me know how
you get on with it as well. I hope you
really enjoy it. Please check it out. Unscript, The Radical
Act of Being Yourself. And now today's show. Enjoy.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Now, I have had food poisoning for the last couple
of days. And if you've ever had severe food poisoning,
it's awful. But also your whole body gets inflamed. And
so I think that's why this morning, I'm also now
in a lot of pain. I put my back out.
And the way I did it, I was feeding the
cat this morning, and I just bent down to feed
the bloody cat, Larry, at like 5 a.m., and I
(01:34):
felt my back go straight away. I had to actually
take a knee, grab the kitchen top, and claw my
way up. And that cat didn't even look in my
distressed way. Eyes down, nose in that bowl. Like he
hadn't been fed in like 12 hours ago, Larry. You
are not a man's best friend. Larry, I'm struggling here. Straining,
(01:55):
straining to claw back up to the upright position and
then slowly make my way to try and find some painkillers. Oh,
my God. I know. Just too much. The Uber driver
had to help me out of the car this morning.
Did you have to ask him to help you or
did he? It was clear that he went, you're all right, man.
I went, I've actually got my back this morning. He went,
let me come and just help get the bag out,
(02:16):
which is a polite way to a man, you know,
to say I'll help you get out as well.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
That's very kind.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Yeah, which is a great start to the day. Well,
welcome to Showbiz. All right, so what I want to
do this morning is I want to take an inventory
of all of our listeners right now. I'm willing to
bet that quite a few of our listeners are injured
right now. And I want to know how you've done it.
Because actually, you don't have to be doing anything too
strenuous these days to injure yourself. It can be something
(02:43):
quite minor, like feeding a cat. I've fed that cat
thousands of times. why this morning ping the back's gone
and you feel that immediately like lock up and they're
like how book a physio session yeah that's what is
the time and the effort it's just like it's not
it's worse than the pain it's a thought of all
future time and effort.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
And the physio fees oh god all of that.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
And not just that it's when you've hurt your back
and you're going to see them they go i'll just
give you a couple of minutes you need more time
because your back's screwed you can't get the old Reg
Grundy's and that. You can't get them off easily.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Why are you getting your undies off?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
It's just the thing I always like to do. And
they said, don't do that in reception.
Speaker 5 (03:22):
Mr.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
O'Connell, you're here for your shoulder. We've told you about
getting stripped down in reception. It isn't a good look.
It's scaring people.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Who is injured right now? What's wrong with you? Now, Leanne,
what's up with you?
Speaker 6 (03:39):
Christian, it's terrible. I turned 57 last Monday.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Well, happy birthday, first of all. Belated happy birthday.
Speaker 6 (03:47):
Thank you. So I'm already feeling down and out at
turning 57. And then on Friday, I'm sitting at work
on my chair, which is on wheels, and I pushed
my chair away from the desk. and did my entire back,
I am now seeing a chiropractor. I have heat packs,
cold packs, everything going on. I can't turn my neck
when I'm driving, all from pushing my chair out from
(04:09):
my desk.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Oh my God, you've really wrecked yourself.
Speaker 6 (04:13):
To go with that 3057 was terrible for me.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
No that's not that old I mean you poor thing
you must be.
Speaker 6 (04:19):
In agony I am in agony Christian it.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Feels like you did one of those movies you know
you see on that what's that Pilates bed of torch
they got the recliner or the reformer reformer yeah that's
what you kind of turned your office into one of
those who knew it was so dangerous those slidey chairs
right from wheelie chair to wheelchair.
Speaker 6 (04:39):
That could be nearly nearly that's.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Something It's something. Leanne, lovely to hear from you. Thanks
for cheering us up. Have a good day. Hope you
feel better as well.
Speaker 6 (04:50):
Thank you. Have a good day.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Thank you. Who have we got here now? Karina.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Hello, Christian.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Good morning, Karina. Welcome to the show. How have you
hurt yourself?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Well, last night I was doing some late night vacuuming
and didn't realize I actually left the vacuum out. So
I tripped over my vacuum last night and I possibly
have a broken toe.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Oh no. Oh God, that's what a pain. Is it
what you saw this morning? I know.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
It is swollen and I've taped it up, but I'm
not going to look at it today because it's just
going to give me anxiety. So unfortunately, I won't be
doing much day at work, but sitting down and making
orders for everyone to bring my lunch today because I
won't be getting up at all.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
That's great. So basically, it's that great adult thing of
I will process and deal with that later. That's right.
And you can't even kick it down the road because
you've hurt your toes.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
No, I can't. So thankfully it's my left toe and
not my right foot because otherwise I won't be driving
at all and my poor husband will have to take
me to work as well this morning.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Okay, well listen, thank you very much for calling the show.
I hope you feel better soon.
Speaker 7 (05:56):
Thank you, Christian.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Take care. Have a good day. Thanks for calling.
Speaker 8 (05:59):
Thank you.
Speaker 9 (05:59):
Bye-bye.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
And Mark, how have you injured yourself, Mark? Welcome to
the show.
Speaker 10 (06:04):
Good morning. How are you?
Speaker 4 (06:07):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Where do I even start? I've been attacked by prawns.
I've had my back feed the cat, Mark. I'm in
a bit of a mess today, Mark.
Speaker 10 (06:15):
Yeah, no, I hurt my back today getting out of
the shower and drying myself and getting ready for work
and put the socks on, bent down, slipped halfway, caught
myself and jarred the back and got up this morning.
The wife said, get out of bed because, you know, you've.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Got to work.
Speaker 10 (06:33):
You can't have any more days off. And so, yeah,
this morning I had to sit down on the toilet
just to put the underwear on.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Mark, it's a terrible way when you've hurt your back
to start the day like that. And even just getting
changed to get out the door feels like too much work. Well, listen, Mark,
I hope you're right at work today. Thanks for calling
the show.
Speaker 10 (06:53):
No worries.
Speaker 7 (06:54):
Thanks, guys.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Now, I was about to go into something new and
start something new, a different conversation with you guys, but
I cannot move on. Earlier on this morning, about 20
minutes ago, Rio and I were chatting and I thought
it was just, it wasn't a topic for discussion. It
was very clear cut. And especially in a country with
climate like Australia, we all love our Tim Tams. They
belong in the fridge. Yes. They last longer. And I
(07:21):
think chocolate coming out the fridge just tastes, it does
taste different, but it tastes better. The chocolateness is preserved.
It's going to meet the mild. And then as we
get into the summer, warmer temperatures of Australia, The chocolate integrity,
the CI, if you will, is going to be compromised.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
You're so right.
Speaker 11 (07:41):
I've never heard the phrase chocolate integrity, but now I
can't stop thinking about it.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
No, no, no. But the producers are up in arms.
The Chuckle Sisters, you vehemently disagree.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
Like, I cannot.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
We can't even say the word. There's nothing I disagree.
Speaker 12 (07:56):
With more than this in the world. Chocolate in the
fridge is a hard no, and scientifically... Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
You printed off some what I call fake facts.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
They're not fake facts.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
They're fake facts.
Speaker 8 (08:08):
Scientific facts.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
That's me tearing out your little fake facts. Putting chocolate
in the fridge. Your school project's on the floor.
Speaker 7 (08:14):
Changes the taste.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Run and tell your mummy.
Speaker 12 (08:16):
According to actual scientifics.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Yes, but actual scientifics.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
God damn it! But it improves the taste.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Oh, I love scientific. Scientific. Oh, yes.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
The facts.
Speaker 12 (08:29):
Cold temperature dulls the flavour.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Get out of there.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Fake facts. Fake facts.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
The texture changes.
Speaker 12 (08:38):
Chocolate is designed.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
To melt just below body temperature.
Speaker 12 (08:42):
So when you pop it in the fridge, it stays
harder longer and you don't get that smooth melt in
the mouth feeling.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
No, I don't want premature melting. Otherwise, it's all gone
too soon.
Speaker 12 (08:51):
Also, it can absorb other odours from the fridge, which
changes the taste of the chocolate. Yeah, I'm happy for that.
Speaker 7 (08:57):
That's terrible.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Yeah, I like to have a bit of chocolate with it.
A taint of a bit of cheddar there. Or some
just about to sour milk. Mmm. Has this got an
innocence of mould here? High notes of mould. And a
little bit of feta there as well. And a red
onion that's been in there too long.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Like red wine, you would take out and you would
open the lid.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yes. It's called the lid. A cork. Commonly known for lids.
Speaker 11 (09:20):
And it changes the flavour, but it improves the flavour.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
That's right, yes.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
It grows.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Oxidisation is happening.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Yes.
Speaker 12 (09:28):
But red wine also is outside of the fridge. You
shouldn't put red wine in the fridge.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Depends what country, and sometimes they stick a pinot in
the fridge. There's a thing called... Fridge coolers and wine coolers.
A chilled red. Ever heard of it?
Speaker 4 (09:39):
For whites. No, there's chilled reds.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Look it up.
Speaker 13 (09:41):
No, there's reds as well.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Thank you. Patsy would know. Now, Patsy. Patsy, Patsy, Patsy.
Where would you put a Tim Tam?
Speaker 4 (09:46):
In the fridge, absolutely. Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
The single most, the mother of Australia, on this show,
I will bow down to Patsy. Asterix occasionally.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
Simple maths.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Yes, simple maths. Science meets maths, and maths puts a
beat down on scientific sass. That's what's happening right now, Australia.
Grab Gabby popcorn. All right, so it's a simple question.
Tim Tams, in or out? In the fridge or out
the fridge? It's in.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
It's in.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Surely you're with us on this one, Australia.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
The Christian O'Connell Show.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Go on.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Podcast.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Are we a divided nation this morning? I fear we are.
It's all come down to this moment. Tim Tams, in
or out of the fridge? Where are you on this
great divide? Rio and I and Patsy united for once
in the fridge. It is going off today in this
show and also now on the lines. When two Tams
(10:48):
go to war. Good morning to Cardi Christian. Tim Tams 100%
out of the fridge. Can't have cold ones for the
Tim Tams lamps. Christian, Tim Tam's definitely in the fridge. Toblerone, however, no,
you break your jaw. We're not talking about Toblerone. That
lives in an area all by itself. Christian, I'm from
(11:11):
the Blue Mountains. Congratulations. What do you want, a badge?
When medicine is yucky, you put it in the fridge
so it won't taste as much. Normal chocolate out of
the fridge, but Tim Tam's in the fridge so they
don't melt on your fingers.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I hate that tacky gooeyness. You're losing 30% to your fingers.
They're getting more of it than you. And then it's
all gooey and you've got to wipe them somewhere. Yep. No, no, no. No, no, no. Cleaner.
And also, like steaks, you put those in the fridge.
Then you can raise it up if there are some
guests who are savages or feral. you can raise it
(11:49):
to room temperature for them. Exactly. Take it out of
the fridge two hours before guests come round if you're
serving as a vol-au-vent. All right, let's take some calls
here this morning. Claire, good morning.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
For the love of God, you've got to be kidding me.
They have to be out of the fridge.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Christian Patz, I'm... Sorry, sounds like there's a problem with
your line there, Claire. Hello, Claire? Claire? Claire? Claire? Claire?
Speaker 4 (12:12):
She's run away.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Oh, no. Claire, Claire, Claire, Claire, are you there? Claire? Oh, no, okay.
Speaker 4 (12:17):
We have to move on.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Let's try Chris here. Good morning, Chris.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Yes, good morning. Love your work, Christian. Tim Tams and
red wine in the fridge in Australia on the kitchen
bench in England.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Now, look, I agree with the Tim Tams in the fridge,
but I can't stand any wine that's been anywhere near
a fridge. Red wine should not be in the fridge.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Even a nice chilled wine on a summer's day?
Speaker 1 (12:42):
No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. It
doesn't get... that warm where it's like tea yeah that's
true no come on oh so you don't leave out
in the baking sun do you no no we don't
it's not on the barbecue being warmed up uh but
yeah chris i'm with you in the fridge for the
tim tams let's go to tommy now morning tommy.
Speaker 14 (13:02):
G'day there definitely ttc temperature touch control gotta be in
the fridge gotta be.
Speaker 9 (13:08):
In the fridge Oh, the wife.
Speaker 5 (13:10):
The wife will know clearly because there's drip marks everywhere.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
In and out. Yes.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
This is it. It starts. If you've got hot hands
like you and I, it melts to touch.
Speaker 15 (13:21):
Mate, and when you've got tradie hands as well.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Same here.
Speaker 14 (13:23):
All to do with the respect. Yeah, the wife will
go to town on you.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
She'll know straight away. Absolutely. My wife goes to town
on me only once a year on my birthday.
Speaker 12 (13:32):
Oh, no.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
No, no, I mean takes me to town. Will take
me into town, do some shopping, go and get some
new Deez merch or something like that. Or a new
pair of sneaks for the new school year. All right, Tommy,
thank you very much. It's good to clear up that misunderstanding. Nicky,
good morning, Nicky.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
Good morning.
Speaker 10 (13:49):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I'm good, Nicky. So, in or out? Tim Tams, in
or out of the fridge?
Speaker 3 (13:53):
In!
Speaker 1 (13:53):
In, do you say?
Speaker 3 (13:55):
In!
Speaker 4 (13:56):
In!
Speaker 1 (13:58):
In! Nicky said in. Who have we got here? We're
just annoying people today. Christy, good morning.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Hello.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Hi, Christy. In or out of the fridge for Tim Tams?
Speaker 15 (14:07):
Well, weather dependent for me. So summertime, I would keep
them in the fridge because you don't want meltage. But
any other time of the year, 100% in the cupboard
in the biscuit barrel.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Now, intern Pete is with us. Yes, hello. You have
heard from the CEO. This goes right to the top
of Arnott's.
Speaker 16 (14:28):
It feels like election night.
Speaker 8 (14:29):
I've got paperwork going on everywhere. The question is, before
we get to the official answer, is how did we
get there? Let's just remind everyone. A lot of people
might not know this. Ian Norris, he invented the Tim Tam.
I reached out for a statement to him first. He
invented it.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
He was a food technologist. It would be an English
guy called Ian.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 16 (14:47):
He's dead. He's no longer with us, which is very sad.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Oh, God, too soon.
Speaker 12 (14:50):
R.I.P.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Ian Norris.
Speaker 16 (14:51):
Sorry, I probably said that a bit bluntly.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Yeah, you did.
Speaker 16 (14:52):
But I reached out to family members.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Unfortunately, no. Well, they don't need bothered by some crazy
Australian on the radio, a middle-aged intern. When did he pass?
Speaker 16 (15:01):
Well, he passed away in 2014. Very, very sad.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
And they kept him in a fridge?
Speaker 4 (15:05):
Well, no, I'm not sure.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
On the bench.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
I'm not sure.
Speaker 8 (15:08):
But I just thought maybe he had a conversation at
some stage with.
Speaker 16 (15:12):
A family member and said, yeah, you've got to keep
them in the fridge or not in the fridge.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
I think his last words were, please come closer. Marie,
come closer.
Speaker 16 (15:19):
Rest in peace, Ian. George is the CEO.
Speaker 8 (15:24):
Now, one of his team members has worked tirelessly to
give us an official statement. Now, I'm going to say
this is a little bit wordy, so hear me out.
For clarity as well, back in the.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Have they actually given us a statement this early? Like
the first thing the CEO of Arnott's has been forced
to do?
Speaker 16 (15:39):
Pretty much, pretty much.
Speaker 8 (15:40):
Basically, also, just remember, in 2025, they actually did a
partnership with Woolworths where they offered on the shelf or
in the fridge.
Speaker 16 (15:47):
So they were having both options there.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, a big.
Speaker 16 (15:50):
Campaign with Woolworths, which was just fantastic. So this is
the statement from Arnott's. Nearly half of Aussies prefer a cool.
Speaker 8 (15:56):
Tim Tam with 40% stating they choose to store it
in the fridge. And just 35% in the pantry, with
a further 15% of Tim Tams prefer both.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
So both. It's a hung state.
Speaker 16 (16:10):
It's a very diplomatic state.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
But what would the CEO do?
Speaker 16 (16:15):
Well, I've had to analyse what he has said there,
and it basically... Oh, the pantry wins. No, it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
No, it doesn't. No, listen. Get George on the line.
Call George.
Speaker 16 (16:29):
Call George now.
Speaker 11 (16:30):
How can 40% say they're in the fridge, 35% in
the pantry, and you think pantry wins?
Speaker 1 (16:34):
No. Based on what? That doesn't add up.
Speaker 16 (16:37):
That's people. That's simple maths, as.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Patty would say. Well, simple maths are simple.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
Don't get me involved in this.
Speaker 13 (16:43):
I was agreeing with you.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
No, we're agreeing with you. Pete Maths doesn't, Peteonomics does
not wash.
Speaker 16 (16:47):
Sorry, wait, I've got some more.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Why are you waving a small laptop at me?
Speaker 16 (16:50):
Oh, because I've just got another email from Arnott.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
It's okay, one second.
Speaker 16 (16:53):
We will send you guys just heaps of Tim Tams.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Okay, that's good. I need George on the line now.
I want to know, what does George do? If we
go around George to CEO's house, where are the Tim Tams, George?
If I'm going into the pantry, I ain't happy, George.
Or if I'm going in George's fridge, and I'm guessing
it's a Fisher and Paykel, or a Westinghouse, I'm going
to see the Tim Tams in the crisper. I hope so. George0421.
Speaker 16 (17:16):
Sorry, I can't read his mobile number.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
That's fine.
Speaker 16 (17:18):
We'll try him now.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Back in.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
We had an amazing email from Vanessa. This is for
What Are The Odds? Where every Wednesday we look for
your stories of coincidence and chance. She told this incredible
story that when she was in primary school, her friends
and her used to walk to school together and on
the way they'd pick some lemons. We did it so
often that they started taking sugar and spoons every morning
to make them taste even better. Those were the days, kids,
for four apps. There's no Snapchatting. The old lady that
(17:48):
lived up there ended up catching us taking her lemons.
She went to school and picked us out one by one,
pointing at us with her walking stick. This is an
incredible scene, right? I think you said yesterday, actually, off air,
shame on the school for indulging that lady. You can't
just wander up to school and go, hey, can you
sort up a line-up for me, please?
Speaker 4 (18:09):
Oh, they're in the middle of class.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Do you know who did it?
Speaker 5 (18:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
So you've got to sort them in a line-up. Well,
just tell us now. Yes, yeah. You've got to make
them terrifying experience of in a line-up as a young'un.
That stays with you for ages. That fear of an
old lady walking up, tapping it like a stick. You know,
like a jailer in prison dragging it along the ground.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
You had no rights back in the day, it seemed,
as a child.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
No, no.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
You forfeited all rights.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yes, you forfeited all rights the moment you were born.
So today on the show, we're looking for anyone who
has been in a line-up. Obviously, young Vanessa, at the
age of eight, was in the Lemon Tree line-up. You know,
it's a case I'm sure is known as now. Have
you ever been in a line-up?
Speaker 3 (18:46):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Ever been in a line-up? Lee Masterson's got an incredible story. Christine,
many years ago, I was selected to do jury duty,
and as I was waiting to be selected, the accused
lawyer rejected me because I look too much like the deceased. Oh, wow. Wow.
(19:10):
That is incredible. Uh, Patty, have you just called? Now
the tumor told me you called someone to find out
information about how they, find people.
Speaker 13 (19:19):
How they seek them.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yes.
Speaker 13 (19:20):
So my cousin is an acting inspector at the moment, Jess.
Thank you, Jess, for taking my call.
Speaker 16 (19:25):
Because she's on the job.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Thank you, Detective Inspector Jess.
Speaker 13 (19:28):
And she has been in the force 20 years now.
She said she has never actually done one. They're very,
very rare. But how they work is if you've got
a description of a crook, for example, blonde hair, blue eyes,
they will go out onto the street literally or into
a shopping centre, look at like Looking people. So similar
looking features.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
I guess that was how it worked.
Speaker 7 (19:50):
Yes.
Speaker 13 (19:51):
And go up to them and say, would you be
prepared to be in a police lineup? You have to
seek their permission.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
Can I just grab them?
Speaker 8 (19:58):
No.
Speaker 13 (19:58):
You just have to, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
She said, I'm not going to sign. Blondie, get in
the van.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
Yeah, you look sus. You look sus. But that's how
it works.
Speaker 13 (20:06):
As simple as that.
Speaker 15 (20:08):
But she said they're very rare.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
I thought they just might have asked people out in
the office. just to make up the numbers.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
They have to look a bit like them, I guess.
Do you get paid, though?
Speaker 7 (20:18):
Do you know?
Speaker 15 (20:19):
No, you don't.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
I've never got the money for that. It's not like
extra work, is it?
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Well, take a time out of my day to stay alive.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Toadfish is in between projects at the moment. He's back
in yet another line-up. He's getting some head shots while
he's there.
Speaker 13 (20:31):
And she said quite commonly people will say no.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Yeah, I bet.
Speaker 13 (20:35):
Of course, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
All right, well, do thank Detective Inspectors. Coming on a
job right now as well. I'd imagine they're hiding behind
a hedge somewhere. And her mobile goes off. She didn't
put it on. Who the hell is that? Hang on.
Just buy a crook right now. Actually, Patsy is the
only person I know under the age of 900 who
uses the word crook.
Speaker 15 (20:53):
It's a great old word.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
It is, it is, it is. All right, Lisa. Good morning, Lisa.
Speaker 7 (20:59):
Good morning, Christian.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Lisa, welcome to the show. So have you been in
line up? This is a different kind of line up.
Speaker 7 (21:06):
I haven't personally been in a lineup, but my husband's
been in what you might call an audio lineup.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Oh, I love the sound of this. An audio lineup.
How did that work?
Speaker 7 (21:14):
Well, he was in Darwin. He was going to school
in Darwin. He was about 13 years old. Just started
high school. And him and his mate wagged school, wagged
a couple of lessons, went down to the milk bar
playing Battlestar Galactica.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Good times. And.
Speaker 7 (21:32):
During that time, somebody has done a bomb scare at
the school, at his school. And so they were trying
to sneak back into school after their 20 cents had
run out and looking pretty guilty. So trying to sneak
back into school and they got caught and they had
to go into the office and talk on a phone,
(21:55):
the old dial-up, and say over the phone... there's a
bomb in the club.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Oh, wow. Are you kidding? This is a voice lineup. Yeah.
Speaker 7 (22:05):
A voice lineup. And so then the old receptionist is like, yep,
that's them.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
That's so Lindsay. Yeah, it is. That's not admissible in court,
is it?
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Oh, yeah, it sounds about right. Yeah, it sounds like, what,
a kid's voice? They all sounded a bit squeaky at
that age.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
And surely if you're the kid, you're putting on a
bit of a.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Voice or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 7 (22:25):
Bomb!
Speaker 4 (22:26):
There's a bomb there.
Speaker 7 (22:29):
And no offence, but my husband still, at 58, has
a very high-pitched voice.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
He's terrified to reveal his true voice unless that receptionist goes,
it is him!
Speaker 16 (22:41):
It is them.
Speaker 7 (22:45):
So nothing really big deal happened, but the police were there.
Speaker 14 (22:48):
Police were called.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Police came.
Speaker 7 (22:50):
There was no bomb in the school.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
No, of course not. Wow. Lisa, incredible story.
Speaker 7 (22:54):
But that was just the way we got out of
school in those days.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Yeah. Lisa, thank you very much for the story. Brilliant one.
Speaker 7 (22:58):
It was.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah. That's incredible.
Speaker 7 (23:01):
Nick.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
Good morning, Nick.
Speaker 14 (23:03):
Good morning, Christian.
Speaker 10 (23:04):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
I'm good, Nick. And welcome to the show. So have
you been in a line-up?
Speaker 14 (23:08):
Yes, picture the scene. It was the mid-1990s in the UK,
impoverished first-year uni student just walking the streets of the
city centre and approached by a policeman and asked to
accompany him to the station. and did a line-up and,
unlike what Patsy said, did do it for money. So
I was paid £ 10, which puts a whole new meaning
(23:29):
on £ 10 POM. Then actually went on to make a
career of it. Did about six across my university years.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Suspicious ass face.
Speaker 14 (23:41):
The issue after the first one was I left with
my £ 10 and walking the streets to get back to
university accommodation, somebody tried to mug me for the £ 10.
You're joking.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
So now you're back in the line-up, but you're not
in the line-up. You're working the line-up.
Speaker 14 (23:58):
Working the line-up.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
You must have had, like, a loyalty card at that
cop shop in London. Absolutely. Oh, mate, Nick's back. Better
call Nick.
Speaker 14 (24:07):
It was about the last one I did where the
alleged perpetrator between doing the offence and the line-up had
grown a moustache, so had to mow. So all of
us in the line-up were asked to wear duct tape
on our pockets.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
No.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Nick, this is one of the funniest stories I've ever heard.
Can you point out Hitler from this line-up, please? You
think he was up to no good. Oh, wow. Wow. Nick,
one of the funniest stories of the year. We're sending
some prizes. Really, really funny stuff, Nick. Thank you for sharing.
Speaker 14 (24:39):
Great. No problem. Thanks, Christian.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
My God, what stories.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Christian, talk about shortest time on a job. You've got
to be talking about Mal Meninger's political career. Of course.
Speaker 7 (24:51):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Right there. That press conference. Good on him. He's like,
I don't know how to do this.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
You've got to find the audio for that.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yes. How long was it?
Speaker 4 (25:01):
It's so long.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Before he said, I'm going to have my ass on this. Bye.
See you later, guys. If only more politicians had that
kind of honesty.
Speaker 11 (25:07):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Do you know what? I can't. I can't actually. It
turns out I can't lie for a living. All right.
We're talking about shortest time in a job. We've had
some great stories so far. Keep them going. Christian, I
may have the shortest one for you. I went to
my interview on a Thursday. Everything went well. I was
adorable and I got the job. Signed the contracts, ready
to start the following Monday. Next afternoon, I got a
call saying they'd restructured my department and my position is
(25:30):
no longer required. So don't bother coming in. I'm fine.
But because I'd signed the contract, they had to give
me six months severance pay. Imagine getting paid for no work.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
That is the dream.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
That's Steph.
Speaker 9 (25:44):
Great.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Christian, I remember a guy that got a job before
Christmas to start in January. Come the Christmas party, he
had his free meal and drinks. We never saw him
ever again. Didn't even do the job. Didn't even do
the job. Just had the welcome drinks. That's all he wanted. Christian,
my shorts were half a day in the early 90s.
The office was below ground, so there was no windows.
I was the only female. The men chain smoked, so
(26:11):
you guessed it, at lunchtime. I emerged into the fresh daylight,
took off, fresh air, and never went back. Who have
we got here? Mark. Good morning, Mark. G'day, Christian. How
are you, buddy? I'm good. Welcome to the show, Mark.
What's your story about shortest time in a job?
Speaker 5 (26:26):
Mate, a couple of years ago, I found myself unemployed,
so I applied for a job as a welder. And
the bloke said, mate, we've got a couple of people.
Can you get here at 6.30 in the morning?
Speaker 3 (26:35):
I said, sure.
Speaker 5 (26:36):
I'll get there in a few days. Well, you can
go first. And I done me a welder test. He goes, mate,
just take a seat out there while I test the
other bloke. Well, I'm sitting outside, the phone rings, and
I've got off for another job. The bloke comes back out,
he goes, when can you start? I said, I was
not interested and got up and walked out.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Mark, thank you very much for giving us a call.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
No problem, thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Did we miss something?
Speaker 4 (26:59):
I think we missed a crucial part of that story.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Yeah, yeah, because Patricia Kane took me through it beforehand
and we missed the most important part. He got another
job offer, didn't he?
Speaker 16 (27:06):
He got another job offer that was paying more.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I think he forgot it. I think Mark still had
that welding mask on while he was calling us, you know?
Speaker 16 (27:12):
And the bloke walked out, said to him, Mark, you
got the job. And he said, I'm not taking it.
I'm taking the other one.
Speaker 7 (27:18):
And he quit on the spot.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Great. Thank you. I like kind of like the translation.
Sometimes we go to the translator on the show, Caitlin,
for some of the rougher callers. Also, how incredible that
to get that job, you had to prove you were
a welder. Who is lying? that they can weld. It's
such a very specific job. They must have installed that
(27:39):
because someone one day turned up to weld a ship
or something. Did they work on the Titanic? And we
can't have that. We can't have lies again. You must
prove that you're a welder. Who have we got here? Meredith.
Good morning, Meredith.
Speaker 17 (27:52):
Good morning, team.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
How are you all?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
We're good, Meredith. What's your story for us?
Speaker 17 (27:57):
I was working in the mid-80s for an insurance company,
and it was back in the days before computers when
everything was done by paper.
Speaker 6 (28:05):
And we had a.
Speaker 17 (28:06):
Bright, sparkly new team leader fresh out of the box
who arrived on a Monday morning, got introduced to everybody,
got himself settled behind his desk, looked around at the
massive mountains of paperwork on.
Speaker 6 (28:21):
Every desk in the office.
Speaker 17 (28:24):
And very quietly took off at lunchtime, and we never
saw him again.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 17 (28:29):
We didn't hear from him.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
Nothing.
Speaker 6 (28:31):
He was gone.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Yeah, it was... No. Bugger this. No. I'm not doing this.
I haven't got it in me. I'm not the man.
Screw this.
Speaker 6 (28:39):
Look, we had to face it, but he couldn't. It
was crazy.
Speaker 9 (28:45):
Crazy.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Yeah, it's crazy. Meredith, thank you very much for the
crazy story. You're welcome.
Speaker 7 (28:49):
Have a great day, everyone.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
And you keep it crazy. Max, good morning. Hey, we're here.
Speaker 10 (28:55):
How are you?
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Max, what's your story?
Speaker 10 (28:57):
Good, good, good.
Speaker 9 (28:57):
So a few years ago, I decided I needed some
extra coins. So I started working in a removalist company
at the Old Man with a Van down in Melbourne.
And well, long story short, I was pretty busy on
the safety induction day. So I decided to skip it,
but I figured, you know, how hard could it be?
So first down the job, I was actually allocated to
drive one of the large trucks. And I kind of
(29:20):
just dived headfirst in and we're at a storage container facility.
And I didn't really know I had to do these
special mirror checks and sort of hand signals with my
partner on the day. And so I started reversing and
the truck seemed to suddenly stop. So I kept putting
in reverse and kept going and kept pushing. And then
I hear this kind of faint scream and I'm like,
(29:41):
oh my God. And I jumped out and I've been
ramming this car, this storage container, uh, not knowing this
over and over.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
That was a key part of that onboarding module. No ramming,
no ramming cars. You ram, you lose.
Speaker 9 (29:57):
Anyway, I had to call the kind of, you know,
center like in that morning. And I was like, I'm so, so,
so sorry, guys. So sorry.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
My goodness.
Speaker 9 (30:05):
Um, Anyway, they sent us to the next job, big
insurance claim, yada, yada, yada. And at the next job,
I grabbed a cupboard and my teammate goes, all right, mate,
we're just doing a diamond carry on this one. So
I said, yep, no worries. I grabbed the cupboard and
the whole thing split in half.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Oh. It's the world's worst removalist. You got it, Ted.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
The old diamond carry.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Say no more.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Got it in the training.
Speaker 9 (30:32):
A lot of respect for removalists. It's actually quite an
art form.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Yeah, I bet.
Speaker 9 (30:38):
Didn't last too long.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Yes. Max, very funny story. Thanks for calling, mate.
Speaker 9 (30:43):
Cheers, guys.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
These stories are gold.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
The Christian O'Connell Show.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Go on.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Podcast.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
All right, so on today's show then, producer Ria, what
happened to these jeans you got from Korea?
Speaker 11 (30:56):
Yeah, I bought these beautiful new Korean jeans, but they
were an ambitious 32, so I reckon I'm more of
a 33, 34, but I thought I would squeeze sort
of back into them when I got back from Korea. Sadly,
the opposite has happened. I've expanded in the waist, and
they literally flung off my pants.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
What, the buttons? Yeah, it was like.
Speaker 11 (31:17):
Blew off as I was getting ready for work. So
I've had to make a late pants switch. And I've
been very humbled by this development.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
All right. We're looking for your stories in about wardrobe
malfunctions on 135522. There is never, ever a good time
for something to split, tear or rip. I remember years ago,
this security guard that worked at one of London's maximum
security guards. And he was on a wing where it
was lifers. And he was getting in a tussle with
(31:46):
one of the inmates. And they went to the ground.
And he said, the prison guard uniforms are very tight. Suddenly,
he's grappling with an actual killer. And he said, they
go to the ground. And all of a sudden, you
hear this. And it's his backside. It's his backside has actually.
(32:06):
And he said. The inmate and him, just because they
just start laughing. It actually de-escalated the situation. He was like,
please can you go back in your cell? You split
my pants. He was like, I'm very sorry about that.
Speaker 4 (32:17):
That is awesome.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Right now, last few stories. Clothing malfunctions, rips and tears.
Good morning, Hayley. This comes in from Hayley Melder. Christian,
I was heading out to local shops. I grabbed my
good pair of trackies. Only in Australia. They have, wait
for it, a good pair of trackies, the posh ones,
(32:44):
you know, for weddings and days in court. I grabbed
my good pair of trackies out fresh from the dryer
and hurriedly put them on whilst they were toasty warm.
Pulled down my shoes and off I went. When I
was in Coles in the cold cheese aisle, I was
unnaturally cold around my lower half. I looked down. Eventually... Tomorrow,
(33:06):
I discovered my dog had chewed the crutch out of
my pants. Front to back.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Oh, my God. All around the old Dandenong Rangers. How
very unfortunate. Hayley, that is tough. Christian, at my wedding,
this is from Alexis, the photographer squatted down to take
the obligatory shot of the bridesmaids, only to stop dead
and go bright red. He had split his pants. front
(33:33):
to back. You've got to take a knee. You're taking
a knee, aren't you? His wife had to help him
back up. Poor guy. Poor guy. But get the photos,
won't you, there. Christian Wayne, my brother was at a
function wearing a brand new suit. After a belly full
of beer, he was walking to get some Maccas. Again,
(33:54):
classy behaviour. He needed to go bad. He saw a
construction site with a port-a-loo. He climbed the fence and...
He completely ripped his pants to pieces at the barbed wire.
But he made it to the toilet. Phew, thank God.
Mission accomplished. And then had to walk to the cab
rank to go home with no pants on.
Speaker 13 (34:13):
Oh, no.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Who's getting that lucky customer? In fact, I'm retiring. It's
my last one. Lauren's on the line. Good morning, Lauren.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 10 (34:24):
Morning, Christian.
Speaker 7 (34:24):
How are you going?
Speaker 5 (34:25):
I'm good, Lauren.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
I hope you're having a good morning. Now, Lauren, what's
your story?
Speaker 7 (34:29):
It was about 10 years ago, and I'll never forget it.
It was a ripper, and it was a wedding. It
was my husband's friend's wedding, and I don't know what
it is, but it's something about the song from Top Gun,
that loving feeling.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
We all know the one, yeah.
Speaker 7 (34:53):
It just brings out something in men. I don't know
what it is, but when it comes on, they all
get together on the dance floor, as many men would know,
after a few beers, and they're arm in arm singing
and dancing to this song. And there was one gentleman
in particular that was extremely enthusiastic. And was in full
(35:14):
character and was holding the pretend microphone, jumping up on,
you know, the stage and then back down again. And
then right at the end of the song, went into
the middle of the circle with a full like slide
on his knees into the centre and ripped his pants.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Yeah, we didn't see, Mav did not do that. Unfortunately
for a lot of women and men, Mav did not
do that.
Speaker 7 (35:40):
We were all in shock and horror and laughing and crying.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
It's a power finish, though. It's a power finish. He
should have bowed like, oh, it's meant to happen. Practicing
that for weeks.
Speaker 7 (35:52):
And he calmly just got himself up. walked off the
dance floor.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
That's the way to do it.
Speaker 7 (35:56):
Didn't say a single word to anybody. Just exited the building.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Yeah, of course he did. And never to be seen since.
Speaker 11 (36:03):
No.
Speaker 6 (36:04):
Incorrect.
Speaker 15 (36:05):
Incorrect.
Speaker 7 (36:06):
He actually, we found out later, he called his mum.
Speaker 15 (36:08):
He called his mum?
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Oh, me. My panty is split.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
He called his mum.
Speaker 7 (36:16):
He said, Mum, my suit's ripped. You need to take
me back to the hired suit shop, which was down
the road. It was an afternoon wedding.
Speaker 14 (36:22):
They were open.
Speaker 7 (36:23):
He went to the suit shop, got fitted out with
a new suit and returned back to the wedding, back on.
Speaker 9 (36:28):
The dance floor.
Speaker 7 (36:28):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Second round of applause for this show today. We're starting
a trend now. That is good behaviour. Just like it
never happened. Lauren, thank you very much for your story, mate.
Have a good day. Thanks for calling the show.
Speaker 7 (36:41):
You too.
Speaker 9 (36:42):
Thanks.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Time for this morning's time waster. Today on International Monkey Day,
we're looking for your monkey movies. The producers have handed
me the top five most famous monkeys of all time. Oh,
good list. Hot topic. I like it. Who do you
think is in there? Pats and Rio. Famous monkeys of
all time. Who comes to mind?
Speaker 13 (37:08):
What was that monkey of the Clint Eastwood movie?
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Clyde. Yes, Clyde. Big orangutan, isn't it? Right-hand turn Clyde.
I love those movies. Any which way but loose. Not
in The Power Five.
Speaker 4 (37:20):
The first monkey in space.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Yes, boom, number one. Albert II.
Speaker 4 (37:25):
Great name for an astronaut monkey.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Great name but terrible job. Oh, yeah, I guess. Number two, Bubbles.
Speaker 13 (37:32):
Michael Jackson's monkey.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
One of the three, Harambe at number four. Harambe! I know.
They just made these up. At four, a fictional one, Marcel,
Ross's pet monkey in French. And at number five, Congo
the painting chimp. I'm not familiar. No, never heard of him.
Created over 400 abstract paintings. Even sold one to Picasso.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
He sold a painting to Picasso. He's impressive.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
That should be at number one. If you're that good
at art, Picasso goes, bloody, I mean, I'm good, but
there's levels to this. What's your name? Congo. I'll buy
it off you. That should be about Ross's one in France,
who just did nothing other than sit on his shoulder. Anyway,
I didn't know I cared that much about the top
five power rankings of tunes, but I really do, turns out.
(38:25):
All right, we're looking for your monkey movies. Be careful
with monkeys. No laughing business. Ripped face off. Oh, no.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Silver. The big baboonski. Gold. Throw caca off on the train.
Silver plus. Gone gorilla. Not gone girl. Gone gorilla. Mystery
surrounds this story. Silver plus. Ape fear. Gold. No Donkey
Kong Country for old men.
Speaker 4 (38:51):
Silver plus.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Saving primate, Ryan.
Speaker 13 (38:54):
Gold.
Speaker 10 (38:54):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
And Seven was a chilling old.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
Movie, wasn't it?
Speaker 3 (38:58):
Oh, I hate that.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
That movie actually gives me nightmares. Don't worry, I've got
a better one. Seven Monkeys Jumping on the Bed.
Speaker 4 (39:02):
That is a much better movie.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
No more monkeys jumping on the bed. You heard what
the doctor said. Mamas has called him.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
Oh, I hate that movie.
Speaker 16 (39:09):
I still have nightmares about it.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
That box. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Genuinely.
We should have realized then, Spacey.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
The clues were pretty straight in front of us.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Hiding in plain sight. Anyway.
Speaker 4 (39:24):
Much nicer movie, though.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Yeah, what you got?
Speaker 4 (39:26):
Deep Chimp Act. Little Albert II.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Up in space. Now we know his name. Yeah, right. Silver.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
Have you seen that movie about the mafia monkeys?
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
Baboon Doxa.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Oh, that's actually really good. Bronze.
Speaker 4 (39:45):
This gorilla's got to do a big talk during wartime.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 4 (39:49):
It's King Kong speech.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
No, that's good.
Speaker 4 (39:51):
He won an Oscar for it.
Speaker 11 (39:53):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
King Kong speech.
Speaker 11 (39:55):
And RIP, she did a lot of good work, but
her best work was Goodall hunting.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
To Jane Goodall. Yes, very smart. All right, gold for that.
What have you got there? Monkey movies.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
The Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
Today's time waster on International Monkey Day. We're looking for
your monkey movies. Rio, you're primed and ready to mark.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
I'm primate and ready to mark.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Oh, my God. This guy's got the zingers. A baboon
with a view.
Speaker 10 (40:23):
Gold.
Speaker 4 (40:23):
Well done, Tracy.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
King Kong and I.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
Not forgiven. Great Western, that. Unforgiven.
Speaker 4 (40:32):
Silver.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Monkey Largo. Silver. I know what you did with the
last banana.
Speaker 4 (40:39):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
She's the mandrill. Silver. Any given Sunday.
Speaker 4 (40:44):
Silver plus.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
Chimps playing American football. Great. I'd watch that. Hunt for
the red ass, Toba.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
That's gold.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Well done, Corey. I rung a tango in cash. Silver plus.
The Curious Georgia Benjamin Button. Silver. Almost. Pretty in pink bum. Silver.
Come on. Primates of the Caribbean.
Speaker 4 (41:08):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
When Harry met Sally.
Speaker 9 (41:10):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
Well done, Steve. Haunting things of poo. Come on now, bro.
I thought that was gold. It's smart.
Speaker 4 (41:18):
I guess it's smart.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Chimpanzee lander. Silver. Tough luck, Mitch. Silverback mountain.
Speaker 13 (41:26):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
There's simian about Mary. Gold. That's very good, Mark. There's
simian about Mary. Iron mandrill.
Speaker 16 (41:34):
Silver plus.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
What about old Capuchin Phillips?
Speaker 11 (41:36):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Gold. Steve, that's very good. Steve Harmon did that one.
Capuchin Phillips. Diary of a Chimpy Kid. Gold. Well done, Adam.
Monkey Magic Mike. A strip of chimp.
Speaker 4 (41:51):
Oh, now you're talking.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Oh, yeah?
Speaker 4 (41:53):
I don't wonder why I said that.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Gave a little bit too much away there, my friend. Hey,
whatever floats your boat, my friend. You want to pay
cash to a chimp that strips, gives you a little
lap dance? That's your business. Good for you. It's not
exactly what I said. That's what I'm interpreting it as. Anyway,
where were we? I'll tell you where we were.
Speaker 16 (42:11):
Trying to defend myself.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
We're on the radio. Kong in 60 seconds.
Speaker 16 (42:15):
So far.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
What about Big Mamaset's house?
Speaker 7 (42:17):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
What about old monkey magic mic? Oh, he's falling to
pieces over there. Focus, Rio. He's getting all giggly.
Speaker 16 (42:27):
Gold.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Big Mamaset's house.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
Yeah, still gold.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
Oh, sorry. Macaque to the future. All right. Who is
today's Albert II?
Speaker 4 (42:40):
It's Capuchin Phillips.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Capuchin. You, Dan, give it to Monkey Magic, Mike. You
fall to pieces with excitement. He's salivating at the mouth. Accusations.
The headline. All right. We are back tomorrow. Have a
great day. Thank you very much for joining us.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
The Christian O'Connell Show.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Go on.
Speaker 3 (43:00):
Podcast.
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