August 31, 2026 • 7 mins
We’ve all been there. Patsy ordered something online and got a surprise she definitely wasn’t expecting.
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
I Heart Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hear more gold podcast playlists and listen live on the
free I Heart app.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Got anything good?
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Hey, this is the Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Patsy, please tell us about the thing that you ordered
that is not what you ordered.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
Don't you hate it when you're really pumped for something,
like you're really looking for it? You make an online
purchase and you think, this is going to be so good.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
This is me virtually every week where I think, oh,
my God, my life is going to be better.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
You open it up and you're like, oh, my God.
I know.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
This is what happened to me. So my podcast, Rage
Against the Menopause, I just thought it would be really
good for the videos this season if I had specially
designed microphone poppers, which is the foam that goes over.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Branding.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
You know. Mr. Beast can't do it all. I'm not
saying you're Mrs. Beast. I'm just saying his production values
are high level. You all right? Anyway, I saw these.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Just, you know, like in the algorithm sort of popped up,
you know, get your own microphone.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I've never had that. No. Weird, isn't it? So niche.
Really weird. KSI, you and the Logans. I mean, how
many of those days? About 80 years? Bespoke microphone covers.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
That was weird.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I've never seen that come up in the algorithm.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
You could get mugs and all sorts. And I thought,
My covers look really good. I'll order a couple of those.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah, because we've got them. I'm talking into one right now.
It's just the name of the show, the Christian O'Connell show.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
They look nice. You're right. I'm on the video now.
They look good. Yeah, it's really good branding. So what
have you got, Rage Against the Menopause ones?
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Yeah, so it's just like the tile that you would see,
you know, if you bring up the iHeart app and
you see there's my podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
It's a photo of me. Oh, so it's like your face? Yeah,
it's just like my logo. I've never seen them with
the host's face on. So you go from face to face. Wow.
Face here, face there. Wow. I love it. I've never
seen that before. Anyway, they've come.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
I'll let Howard Stern and all the other big DJs know, guys,
we've been getting it wrong.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
It's not your name. You're talking to your own face.
I often think that when I'm looking at you, it's
like it's not enough Christian face. I need a bit
more Christian. So how about a face on this? Wall-to-wall Christian.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
And then also might as well get some T-shirts with
my own face on as well. So Patsy on a T-shirt,
on the mic cover, on screen.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Everywhere you look.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Double threat.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Anyway, they've come, but they're like ridiculously small.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
They're like a thimble.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
They're like a thimble size.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Rio's got one.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Microsoft.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
I've just seen it's tiny.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
It's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
It's like a beef eater's hat for a mouse. It's
so small.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
The Meister, Gard, Buckingham Palace would wear that on top
of their heads.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
It's for a toy kid's microphone. It really is.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Yeah, like a Fisher, you know, price little plastic.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
You know what that whiffs off? Yes. Do you order these? No,
it wasn't.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
It actually wasn't.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
No. It whips of Timu. No, I've never ordered a Timu.
Straight off a boat from China.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
No.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
No, it's all flaky. It's sort of stretched as well.
It's terrible. It is awful. It says very cheaply done.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
The A and the I in against are sort of
squished over, so it's just rage against the menopause.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Asian against the menopause.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
It's not even square.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
The square isn't square. Big market, actually. Maybe rebrand it.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
30 bucks I'd pay for this.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
But then the visual doesn't match up the title of
the show. She's not Asian at all. You're a fake Asian.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
But I paid 15 bucks each and it is the.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Worst 30 bucks I've ever spent. I'm not joking. I
could draw you better than that.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
No.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
It is awful.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I wouldn't pay $ 1.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
15.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
No, seriously, Pat, you would be 15 bucks each.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Yes, and they took like six weeks to get here.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
So you can imagine the anticipation.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, that's because like five Norweys are then laughing at
who would want such a thing.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yeah. So that is a massive amount. How many have
you got of them? Just two.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
One for me, one.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
For the guest.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
The guest is going to be sat opposite you, looking
at you, talking into your face.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
It's the scariest show ever.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Aren't they awful? 30 bucks down the drain.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
No, no, no. We're going to give them away this
week on the show. These are the star prizes, Pats.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
We've all done what Pats has done. You get very
excited about ordering something online. You're counting down.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
It arrives. You open it up. Oh, God. That's not
what I ordered. It's too big. It's too small. It's
too crap.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Bizarrely, my recent one that arrived last week from America,
I opened it up, and my wife said, my God,
what the hell have you ordered? I hear this a
lot in my house. She goes, oh, my God, it
looks so bad.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
What is it? I said, it's a microphone lamp. Oh, no,
Christian O'Connell.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
What do you mean, like a ring light?
Speaker 1 (04:59):
No, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
This is a lamp that looks exactly like one of
those old steel microphones, like an old-fashioned.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Because you work in radio. I work in radio. Oh,
and it's a lamp.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
That's so adorable. That's like having that, like, yeah, Patsy
has that. Sorry, Patsy, no offense, but your on-ear sign. Yeah,
I love it.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
It means I'm in the house.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
In the house.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
This lamp right here. Not what I ordered. It just
looks terrible. Not just that, it doesn't work. So I
didn't realize, because it's from America, it's got like an
American plug.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
So I go out and buy an adapter. I plug
it in.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
It short-circuits the entire house.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Oh, no.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Sweats of God. You just heard this, and everything went off.
The fridge has gone off. I had a freezer. What
is it? I went, microphone lamp.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Oh, no.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
It's so bad. I need to see it. Someone can
have it.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
You can short-circuit your house with this terrible bogan lamp
that's a microphone lamp.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
And again, I don't even know. You know when you're
looking at it, you go, I don't know, what are
these for? Were you drunk?
Speaker 2 (06:05):
No, I was sober, which is sadder in a way.
Sadder in a way. Christian, my brother-in-law bought a frying
pan from Amazon. He was so excited to cook steaks
on it. He was pumped. It rocked up, could barely
fit half an egg on it. He was crushed. Lorraine,
that's not what I ordered.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Good morning, Lorraine. What is it for you?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
I got tea mood.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
I got tea mood. It's because it's so bloody cheap
on there.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Well, most things I've ordered were really good, but this
time I actually ordered a pack of 10 kitchen tea towels.
And when they arrived, they were the size of a
face washer.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Like a child's potence or tea ceremony.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
So I came up with a solution. I work in
a pub. So I took them to work, and I
got my money back from work through petty cash, and
we used them to polish glasses.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah, you could polish, you're right, polish the bar top.
Use them as coasters for the beers.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
We actually, we don't have tea towels at our work
anymore because everyone kept stealing them because we had really
nice tea towels.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I took one home. I took one home. No, they're
like pro-grade.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
They're really thick. Yeah, the ones I've got are really like,
they're too porous. So yeah, that one here, I took
one home.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
It's a beautiful tea towel. Yeah, the green and white ones.
That's why we don't have any anymore. Yeah, that's good.
They're very nice. The Christian O'Connell Show.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Go on.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Podcast.
I Heart Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hear more gold podcast playlists and listen live on the
free I Heart app.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Got anything good?
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Hey, this is the Christian O'Connell Show podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Patsy, please tell us about the thing that you ordered
that is not what you ordered.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
Don't you hate it when you're really pumped for something,
like you're really looking for it? You make an online
purchase and you think, this is going to be so good.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
This is me virtually every week where I think, oh,
my God, my life is going to be better.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
You open it up and you're like, oh, my God.
I know.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
This is what happened to me. So my podcast, Rage
Against the Menopause, I just thought it would be really
good for the videos this season if I had specially
designed microphone poppers, which is the foam that goes over.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Branding.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
You know. Mr. Beast can't do it all. I'm not
saying you're Mrs. Beast. I'm just saying his production values
are high level. You all right? Anyway, I saw these.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
Just, you know, like in the algorithm sort of popped up,
you know, get your own microphone.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I've never had that. No. Weird, isn't it? So niche.
Really weird. KSI, you and the Logans. I mean, how
many of those days? About 80 years? Bespoke microphone covers.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
That was weird.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I've never seen that come up in the algorithm.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
You could get mugs and all sorts. And I thought,
My covers look really good. I'll order a couple of those.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah, because we've got them. I'm talking into one right now.
It's just the name of the show, the Christian O'Connell show.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
They look nice. You're right. I'm on the video now.
They look good. Yeah, it's really good branding. So what
have you got, Rage Against the Menopause ones?
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Yeah, so it's just like the tile that you would see,
you know, if you bring up the iHeart app and
you see there's my podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
It's a photo of me. Oh, so it's like your face? Yeah,
it's just like my logo. I've never seen them with
the host's face on. So you go from face to face. Wow.
Face here, face there. Wow. I love it. I've never
seen that before. Anyway, they've come.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
I'll let Howard Stern and all the other big DJs know, guys,
we've been getting it wrong.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
It's not your name. You're talking to your own face.
I often think that when I'm looking at you, it's
like it's not enough Christian face. I need a bit
more Christian. So how about a face on this? Wall-to-wall Christian.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
And then also might as well get some T-shirts with
my own face on as well. So Patsy on a T-shirt,
on the mic cover, on screen.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Everywhere you look.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Double threat.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Anyway, they've come, but they're like ridiculously small.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
They're like a thimble.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
They're like a thimble size.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Rio's got one.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Microsoft.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
I've just seen it's tiny.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
It's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
It's like a beef eater's hat for a mouse. It's
so small.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
The Meister, Gard, Buckingham Palace would wear that on top
of their heads.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
It's for a toy kid's microphone. It really is.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Yeah, like a Fisher, you know, price little plastic.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
You know what that whiffs off? Yes. Do you order these? No,
it wasn't.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
It actually wasn't.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
No. It whips of Timu. No, I've never ordered a Timu.
Straight off a boat from China.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
No.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
No, it's all flaky. It's sort of stretched as well.
It's terrible. It is awful. It says very cheaply done.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
The A and the I in against are sort of
squished over, so it's just rage against the menopause.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Asian against the menopause.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
It's not even square.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
The square isn't square. Big market, actually. Maybe rebrand it.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
30 bucks I'd pay for this.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
But then the visual doesn't match up the title of
the show. She's not Asian at all. You're a fake Asian.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
But I paid 15 bucks each and it is the.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Worst 30 bucks I've ever spent. I'm not joking. I
could draw you better than that.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
No.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
It is awful.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I wouldn't pay $ 1.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
15.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
No, seriously, Pat, you would be 15 bucks each.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Yes, and they took like six weeks to get here.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
So you can imagine the anticipation.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, that's because like five Norweys are then laughing at
who would want such a thing.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yeah. So that is a massive amount. How many have
you got of them? Just two.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
One for me, one.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
For the guest.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
The guest is going to be sat opposite you, looking
at you, talking into your face.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
It's the scariest show ever.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Aren't they awful? 30 bucks down the drain.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
No, no, no. We're going to give them away this
week on the show. These are the star prizes, Pats.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
We've all done what Pats has done. You get very
excited about ordering something online. You're counting down.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
It arrives. You open it up. Oh, God. That's not
what I ordered. It's too big. It's too small. It's
too crap.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Bizarrely, my recent one that arrived last week from America,
I opened it up, and my wife said, my God,
what the hell have you ordered? I hear this a
lot in my house. She goes, oh, my God, it
looks so bad.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
What is it? I said, it's a microphone lamp. Oh, no,
Christian O'Connell.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
What do you mean, like a ring light?
Speaker 1 (04:59):
No, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
This is a lamp that looks exactly like one of
those old steel microphones, like an old-fashioned.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Because you work in radio. I work in radio. Oh,
and it's a lamp.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
That's so adorable. That's like having that, like, yeah, Patsy
has that. Sorry, Patsy, no offense, but your on-ear sign. Yeah,
I love it.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
It means I'm in the house.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
In the house.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
This lamp right here. Not what I ordered. It just
looks terrible. Not just that, it doesn't work. So I
didn't realize, because it's from America, it's got like an
American plug.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
So I go out and buy an adapter. I plug
it in.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
It short-circuits the entire house.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Oh, no.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Sweats of God. You just heard this, and everything went off.
The fridge has gone off. I had a freezer. What
is it? I went, microphone lamp.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Oh, no.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
It's so bad. I need to see it. Someone can
have it.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
You can short-circuit your house with this terrible bogan lamp
that's a microphone lamp.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
And again, I don't even know. You know when you're
looking at it, you go, I don't know, what are
these for? Were you drunk?
Speaker 2 (06:05):
No, I was sober, which is sadder in a way.
Sadder in a way. Christian, my brother-in-law bought a frying
pan from Amazon. He was so excited to cook steaks
on it. He was pumped. It rocked up, could barely
fit half an egg on it. He was crushed. Lorraine,
that's not what I ordered.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Good morning, Lorraine. What is it for you?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
I got tea mood.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
I got tea mood. It's because it's so bloody cheap
on there.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Well, most things I've ordered were really good, but this
time I actually ordered a pack of 10 kitchen tea towels.
And when they arrived, they were the size of a
face washer.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Like a child's potence or tea ceremony.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
So I came up with a solution. I work in
a pub. So I took them to work, and I
got my money back from work through petty cash, and
we used them to polish glasses.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Yeah, you could polish, you're right, polish the bar top.
Use them as coasters for the beers.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
We actually, we don't have tea towels at our work
anymore because everyone kept stealing them because we had really
nice tea towels.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I took one home. I took one home. No, they're
like pro-grade.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
They're really thick. Yeah, the ones I've got are really like,
they're too porous. So yeah, that one here, I took
one home.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
It's a beautiful tea towel. Yeah, the green and white ones.
That's why we don't have any anymore. Yeah, that's good.
They're very nice. The Christian O'Connell Show.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Go on.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Podcast.
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