June 26, 2025 • 6 mins
Every week, Britt & Laura take on your deepest, darkest dilemmas and unpack them (and HOPEFULLY come up with an answer for you).
Gabrielle joined us today with an EXTREMELY difficult situation - her husband has been cheating on her for the last 5 years. She doesn't know whether she should stay or go, or whether she should reach out to the Other Woman.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hihart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen live
on the Free iHeart app. Now, being that it is Thursday,
we have asked on cut, where you guys call up.
We answer your deepest, darkest burning questions and we do
our absolute best to answer them. Now, we've never had
a question quite like this one. We've got Gabrielle on
(00:31):
the line and she has just found out very recently
that her husband has been cheating on her or having
an affair. Gabrielle, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Hello, what's been going on?
Speaker 3 (00:44):
How long have you been with your husband? And how
long have you found out he's cheating on you?
Speaker 4 (00:48):
Okay, so we've been together relationship for twenty nine years, wow,
married three years, two kids, and apparently he has been
having an affair for five years.
Speaker 5 (01:02):
How did you find that out? Well?
Speaker 4 (01:05):
On story short, normally his phone has been attached to
him consistently. He happened to leave it in the kitchen
one night and I heard a ding go off, so
naturally I just picked it up, thinking nothing of it,
went to hand it to him and obviously discovered a
(01:26):
lovely naked woman on his phone.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
Oh my god, Gabrielle. So, is it been a five
year affair with the same woman? Yes? Wow? How long
ago did you find out all this information?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
Probably about four months ago.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
So you're still probably really in the thick of all
of it. Have you made any decisions? Are you wanting
to stay? Are you unsure? Like what is happening for you?
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Well, we are still living together, obviously. He claimed that
they haven't actually been intimate together, which is my burning question.
Do I believe that?
Speaker 5 (02:04):
No?
Speaker 4 (02:04):
And each morning I wake up, I guess and I
go I'd love to talk to her. Also, is that
the other question? I really have this craving to talk
to this woman, which is nautil strange.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
No, that's not I don't think that's strange at all.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Like this is someone that has infiltrated your life directly
and indirectly for five years.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
I mean, look, there are people who definitely have come
back from infidelity in relationships, but only if their partner
is really truthful and forthcoming about it all, Like if
you if you are actually feeling like, Okay, I know
I've got the information.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
Now we can go to therapy together.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Things have changed, Like if there's no action in changing anything,
then you're just and you're left with so many unanswered questions.
And also when you are seeking answers to those questions,
if you're being shut down or you're not getting closure
or any of this, like you can't heal because you're
expected to just believe what's being told to you from
the person who's been lying to you for five years
about something correct.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
So is he still talking to her? Has he blocked her? Like?
How is how where are things at now?
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Well, apparently it's all been blocked. We haven't heard from
her obviously. I think that the wall that blocks me
now is he does still get quite defensive if you
go to ask a question or talk about it and
sort of says you should not be over it, but
kind of be over it.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
If that main No, that is rubbish, And.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
I'm thinking the time frame for me is my biggest thing.
It hasn't just been a couple of months. It's actually
been five years. And yeah, we've been married, I've had
a baby.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
He was doing this at the same time that you
were getting married, that you were walking down the aisle,
or that you were choosing to have a baby together.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
But also he doesn't get to do this to you
and then tell you to get over it and move
on like sorry, that's not how this works. He either
has to be open and it's this goes now how
you want it to go. If you want access to
his phone and he wants to save the relationship, he
gives it to you if you want to contact her
and ask her if you want to know anything about
that situation. He has to be willing to be completed
(04:08):
open with you. He doesn't get to gaslight you and
now say you should be over this by now.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
Yeah, look I agree with this woman.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Yeah, with children and thinking that my soul.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
Yeah, GARYL I think I just yeah, yeah, I think.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
You're totally in your right if you want to to
reach out to this other woman to find out more
of the truth, if you think that you might get
more of the truth from her and that might give
you some sort of lidity enclosure, you are absolutely in
your right to do that. And I also don't think
that you're breaching anything in the relationship by doing so,
because at the moment, it sounds like one of the
(04:48):
big things that you can't get your head around is
whether you're being lied to as to whether or not
something physical happened or didn't happen, or whether it was
just text messages.
Speaker 5 (04:57):
You are not alone.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I think anyone who's in their car is listening to
this right now would absolutely be saying, Okay. If that
messaging has been going on back and forth, nude messages
for five years, it's probably unlikely that nothing more happened.
But you know what, even if nothing more did happen,
that's still such a huge infidelity that's happened in your
relationship for five years that you're allowed to navigate this
(05:21):
how is best for you.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
I think it's.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Been eating at me and I'm like, should I shouldn't
I because.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
I think I would call guys in this situation. What
would you do, Britt?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I mean I have been in that situation.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I'm not married with kids, but you know, I was
with someone for six years that had had a double life,
and I did contact her and we spoke for hours
and I got all the information. The difference was she
didn't know I existed either, so we were both sort
of in silo.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
So this woman might not want to talk to you.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
I think if you're going to go down that track,
I would take a really gentle approach with her and
just say, look, I just want to know.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I'm not going to have a go at you. There's
nothing that's going to happen. I just want the information, like.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
No, what's done is done at the end of the day. Yeah,
it still eates at me. Is he really like, yeah,
he's got a lot to lose, Gabrielle.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
If you do speak to her, though, please give us
a call and let us know what happens, because honestly,
if I was in your situation, I would be calling.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
That's where I would be at.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
And you don't even need to tell your husband you're calling.
To be honest, just just do it.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
Just do it.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Yeah, I definitely wouldn't devolve information.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
That's yeah, Please let us know how it goes.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
We're all thank you very much. We're so sorry you're
in this situation.
Hihart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen live
on the Free iHeart app. Now, being that it is Thursday,
we have asked on cut, where you guys call up.
We answer your deepest, darkest burning questions and we do
our absolute best to answer them. Now, we've never had
a question quite like this one. We've got Gabrielle on
(00:31):
the line and she has just found out very recently
that her husband has been cheating on her or having
an affair. Gabrielle, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Hello, what's been going on?
Speaker 3 (00:44):
How long have you been with your husband? And how
long have you found out he's cheating on you?
Speaker 4 (00:48):
Okay, so we've been together relationship for twenty nine years, wow,
married three years, two kids, and apparently he has been
having an affair for five years.
Speaker 5 (01:02):
How did you find that out? Well?
Speaker 4 (01:05):
On story short, normally his phone has been attached to
him consistently. He happened to leave it in the kitchen
one night and I heard a ding go off, so
naturally I just picked it up, thinking nothing of it,
went to hand it to him and obviously discovered a
(01:26):
lovely naked woman on his phone.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
Oh my god, Gabrielle. So, is it been a five
year affair with the same woman? Yes? Wow? How long
ago did you find out all this information?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
Probably about four months ago.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
So you're still probably really in the thick of all
of it. Have you made any decisions? Are you wanting
to stay? Are you unsure? Like what is happening for you?
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Well, we are still living together, obviously. He claimed that
they haven't actually been intimate together, which is my burning question.
Do I believe that?
Speaker 5 (02:04):
No?
Speaker 4 (02:04):
And each morning I wake up, I guess and I
go I'd love to talk to her. Also, is that
the other question? I really have this craving to talk
to this woman, which is nautil strange.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
No, that's not I don't think that's strange at all.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Like this is someone that has infiltrated your life directly
and indirectly for five years.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
I mean, look, there are people who definitely have come
back from infidelity in relationships, but only if their partner
is really truthful and forthcoming about it all, Like if
you if you are actually feeling like, Okay, I know
I've got the information.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
Now we can go to therapy together.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Things have changed, Like if there's no action in changing anything,
then you're just and you're left with so many unanswered questions.
And also when you are seeking answers to those questions,
if you're being shut down or you're not getting closure
or any of this, like you can't heal because you're
expected to just believe what's being told to you from
the person who's been lying to you for five years
about something correct.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
So is he still talking to her? Has he blocked her? Like?
How is how where are things at now?
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Well, apparently it's all been blocked. We haven't heard from
her obviously. I think that the wall that blocks me
now is he does still get quite defensive if you
go to ask a question or talk about it and
sort of says you should not be over it, but
kind of be over it.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
If that main No, that is rubbish, And.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
I'm thinking the time frame for me is my biggest thing.
It hasn't just been a couple of months. It's actually
been five years. And yeah, we've been married, I've had
a baby.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
He was doing this at the same time that you
were getting married, that you were walking down the aisle,
or that you were choosing to have a baby together.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
But also he doesn't get to do this to you
and then tell you to get over it and move
on like sorry, that's not how this works. He either
has to be open and it's this goes now how
you want it to go. If you want access to
his phone and he wants to save the relationship, he
gives it to you if you want to contact her
and ask her if you want to know anything about
that situation. He has to be willing to be completed
(04:08):
open with you. He doesn't get to gaslight you and
now say you should be over this by now.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
Yeah, look I agree with this woman.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Yeah, with children and thinking that my soul.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
Yeah, GARYL I think I just yeah, yeah, I think.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
You're totally in your right if you want to to
reach out to this other woman to find out more
of the truth, if you think that you might get
more of the truth from her and that might give
you some sort of lidity enclosure, you are absolutely in
your right to do that. And I also don't think
that you're breaching anything in the relationship by doing so,
because at the moment, it sounds like one of the
(04:48):
big things that you can't get your head around is
whether you're being lied to as to whether or not
something physical happened or didn't happen, or whether it was
just text messages.
Speaker 5 (04:57):
You are not alone.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I think anyone who's in their car is listening to
this right now would absolutely be saying, Okay. If that
messaging has been going on back and forth, nude messages
for five years, it's probably unlikely that nothing more happened.
But you know what, even if nothing more did happen,
that's still such a huge infidelity that's happened in your
relationship for five years that you're allowed to navigate this
(05:21):
how is best for you.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
I think it's.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Been eating at me and I'm like, should I shouldn't
I because.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
I think I would call guys in this situation. What
would you do, Britt?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I mean I have been in that situation.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I'm not married with kids, but you know, I was
with someone for six years that had had a double life,
and I did contact her and we spoke for hours
and I got all the information. The difference was she
didn't know I existed either, so we were both sort
of in silo.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
So this woman might not want to talk to you.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
I think if you're going to go down that track,
I would take a really gentle approach with her and
just say, look, I just want to know.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I'm not going to have a go at you. There's
nothing that's going to happen. I just want the information, like.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
No, what's done is done at the end of the day. Yeah,
it still eates at me. Is he really like, yeah,
he's got a lot to lose, Gabrielle.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
If you do speak to her, though, please give us
a call and let us know what happens, because honestly,
if I was in your situation, I would be calling.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
That's where I would be at.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
And you don't even need to tell your husband you're calling.
To be honest, just just do it.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
Just do it.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Yeah, I definitely wouldn't devolve information.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
That's yeah, Please let us know how it goes.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
We're all thank you very much. We're so sorry you're
in this situation.
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