May 12, 2023 • 38 mins
Ben Maller talks about San Diego Padres manager Bob Melvin ripping into his team, where the Padres are on the Concern-O-Meter, Lame Jokes of the Week, and much more!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, and welcome. It's our name, Birthree talking bays Ball,
major League Baseball or Baseball hour. A man who is
very subdued, Bob Melvin. Bob Melvin not good for my job.
He doesn't say interesting things almost ever. This is the
(00:21):
rare and appropriate exception Bob Melvin ripping the pod squad.
What does Bob Melvin's rant about the pathetic podres tell us?
And where is the concern O meter Mather's concern O
meter for the twenty twenty three podreys. Is there a
lesson from San Diego and the Mets also both getting
(00:43):
off to very slow starts here in twenty twenty three.
We'll talk about that as well. Here it is and
lame jokes. What an hour it's free? I should charge
for this? Here it is. Don't give you any ideas
Our number three, the odd Squad, a fraud, says the headline.
(01:04):
Welcome in the beginning of another hour of the Benmatherer Show.
We are in the air everywhere, a word buffet, all
the words you could possibly want. As we have a
seat at the table, not a good seat because it's
(01:25):
overnight the upper balcony, but we're hanging out coast to coast, border,
the border and beyond on the mast and wonderfully powerful
microphones of fsr M monating live from the stump. As
in the stump speech, we are broadcasting live from the
tire rack dot com studios. Tire raq dot com will
(01:48):
help you get there in unmatched selection, fast free shipping,
free road hazard protection, and over ten thousand recommended installers.
Tire rack dot com the way tie they are buying
should be. I had to move my microphone. You might
have heard that my mic it did. I think the
poltergeist attacked and it kind of moved out of the way.
(02:09):
I think that guy Hayes in Minnesota was messing with
my microphone. Bad job by you, Hayes, Bad job by you.
We have met our quota on pro bouncy ball talk.
We'll get back to that a little more later, but
right now our league comes from baseball and we talk
about a little bit of this, a little bit of that.
We try to have a balanced diet of sports talk
(02:29):
this time of the year. Now, during football, we do
not have a balanced diet. We pig out. We are hawsers.
We absolutely pig out on football. But when it's not
football season, we believe that everything in moderation is the
way to go, even moderation. So the story that caught
my attention, and I want to thank I'm so proud
(02:50):
when I when I wake up and people who listen
to the show say, hey, you got a rant about
this or did you see this? I think I'd like
to hear your rid and this is one of those stories.
I had several listeners who said, did you see this?
You got to talk about this. I was like, you
know what, that is a really wonderful story, and I
went thumbs up, I'm all in on that. And I
(03:12):
did not right back to everyone, but we had several
people that sent this to me, So I do thank
you for that. But I probably would have seen it anyway.
But the fact that you took time out of your
life to send that to me, that that does help.
That does help, because sometimes I miss stuff it happens.
So this is wild. It involves the struggles of the Podreys,
(03:36):
not the Mets. Are different and people have sending me
stories about the Mets. We'll get to that maybe next week.
But a couple of heavyweight teams, the Mets and Podreys,
who right now are playing like lightweights but the Podreys
lost to the Minnesota Twins, did not play well in
that series, and they are back at five hundred. The
buzz here is all about the pod squad. So if
(03:57):
you didn't hear about this, or didn't didn't see thee
or anything like that, we'll get you caught up. It
involves manager Bob Melvin, who laid in to the floundering
baseball team that he is overseeing and he went on
a rant. Now rather than me, just sit here and
(04:17):
read the quote of Bob Melvin, as Warner Wolf used
to say back in his day as a Hall of
Fame broadcaster, let's go to the audio tape.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Time to quit just talking about it. It's time to
go out there and do it.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
So another frustrating game for us, underperformed. It's got to
fight a little harder and expect a little bit more
of ourselves, all of us, myself included. So we have
not done that to this point. These stretches happen, but
it's going on too long. We got to break through
here at some point. I don't think there's enough enough
tenacity throughout the course of the game. We show signs
(04:53):
of it, we show spurts of it, we come out
like we should, and then we don't sustain it for
the entire game.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
There you go, all right, So that's there's some big
words as we parse the words of Bob Melvin. So
let's get into it. It is mid May and the
Padres are a five hundred team, so let's discuss what
you just heard. What does Bob Melvin's rant about the
Padres tell us? So I've got ding dong lagoon and
(05:21):
authentication or verification, actually the verification. So we will combine
all of these things together and we are going to
make fish tacos, which you can get at Padre games
at least back in the day when I used to
go to Padre games when I was working in San Diego.
Did the fish tacos stand right there? So Bob Melvin
some big words here, some big words. He used the
(05:41):
U word underperforming. That's a big one, right, underperformed. He
used tenacity as a lack of tenacity. That's also a
big word. That's also a big word to use. So
my first thought on this, Bob Melvin is a vanilla
person in sports. If you were to compile a master
(06:04):
list of people that give great content to sports media,
Bob Melvin would be a last tier type of coach.
Very vanilla, very vanilla. This is a guy who puts
the capitol B in the word bland about almost everything.
It's his public persona and for him by Bob Melvin
(06:28):
standards to take the gloves off and Bob and weave
when talking about the padres and go with that underperforming
word man. My thought is this that that was not
who Bob Melvin is. That's not how Bob Melvin's operators
been a manager for a long time in the big leagues.
That the doorbell, somebody was at the door, somebody rang
(06:49):
the doorbell, and Bob Melvin heard the dangdong from upstairs.
And I forget the general manager. I think this goes
all the way to the top. Peter Seidler, who is
a baller. As an owner, every fan would want a
guy like this guy to own their team. Peter Seidler
owns what has always been a small market team boxed
(07:10):
in San Diego, po dunk San Diego, off the grid,
surrounded by the Pacific Ocean, the desert and Mexico, and
then you've got La. It's a little bubble in south
South southern California, and Peter Sidler's gone down there and
he's thrown money around. He's burning money on this team,
(07:31):
the Padres. When you include the competitive balance tax, the
Padres payrolls almost two hundred and seventy five million. The
only teams that are spending more are the Mets and
the Yankees, the Mets and the Yankees. And so the
way I read the room here, and I'm never wrong
about these things, Peter Seidler got the message whether down
(07:52):
to Melvin, whether he did it directly or indirectly, and
Bob Melvin was read the Riot Act and that was
the inspiration for that lecture that Bob Melvin gave. Now, secondly,
when you take a couple of steps back, where is
the Malard concern O meter for the twenty twenty three Podres.
(08:12):
So the Malor concern O meter one to ten, with
ten being cataclysmic. I'm only at a five point five.
I wish I was higher. I'd rather I'd like to
be at an eight point five or nine. I'd like
a nine and a half. I'd love a ten. But
I'm only at a five point five on the Mallard
concern ometer for the podrais I'll tell you why. It's
(08:35):
like going to Churchill Downs for the Kentucky Derby. And
just because your horse is losing at the quarter pole
of the Kentucky Derby does not mean that your your
horse is not going to rally by the time they
come down the stretch and end up in the winners circle.
And San Diego they play twenty three percent of the schedule.
(08:56):
They have over one hundred and twenty games go or
something like that. I mean, they got a bunch of games.
There's tons of games here to go, and so who's
the most guilty?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Though?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
I like to play the blame game, And even though
the Padres have plenty of opportunity to rally, back the
blame game on this one. Simple You've got the offense
which has been offensive, not in a good way, and
the bullpen which has been bursting at the seams. Here
the Padres werening twenty fourth in run scored. Look at
that lineup. How is that lineup twenty fourth in run scored?
(09:30):
The Royals have scored more runs. Kansas City is a
minor league team and they've scored more runs. The Giants
are a minor league team and they've scored more runs.
Then I look at the bullpen. Now, the bullpen is
not the worst in baseball, there's sixteenth in the big leagues,
but they have performed much worse than that number of late,
like we saw Mookie Bets go deep in a game
(09:53):
against the Padres recently, and the Padres Josh Hater blew
it as an example. So a lot of players are
in the lagoon, the lazy lagoon. They're floating on the
inner tube on the lazy lagoon. Among them, you gotta
start with Juan Soto. I was told by people that
are smarter than me. They tell me they're smarter than me,
(10:15):
that one Soda is a top five player in baseball,
that one Soda is gonna get one of those nice,
sexy four hundred million dollar contracts. And he's coming up
on free agency year shortly. And Juan Soto has batted
so far this year two fifty six. He is unpaced,
hit twenty six home runs, which is fine, and eighty
one RBIs that's okay, but not if you're one of
(10:37):
the top five players in baseball, it's not. Then You've
got Manny Machado, good old many coasting along. Where have
we seen this before? Many's also hitting two fifty and
he's on pace to driving less than eighty runs and
hit less than twenty five home runs. And the former
Red Sox Andrew bogarts This is the latest big free
agent pickup for the Pod squad. Xander bogarts Is is
(11:00):
not making the kind of impact that the Padres thought.
He's another guy who's gonna hit about twenty. He's on
pace about twenty five home runs. He's on pace to
drive in less than sixty five runs. But wait, there's more.
You've got that steroid chet Fernando Tatis, who's on pace again.
He missed the first month of the year, but he's
on pacee about twenty home runs around fifty RBIs and
(11:23):
he needs I think his entire team in San Diego
needs more that ringworm medication. There's a pharmacy in Tijuana.
They can go down and get that if they need it.
But overall, this concoction needs more seasoning. The cheese fondue
is a little nasty right now in that locker room.
But the reason I'm at a five and a half
is time. There's plenty of time, and I know for
(11:48):
a fact, I will bet you that Peter Sidler, the
owner in San Diego is not just gonna sit there
on his hands and say, okay, well, just let the
season play out. See how we do now. If the
Podres suck at the trade deadline, then there will be
plenty of moving and shaking and the musical chairs will start.
(12:10):
That's what a good owner does. That's what a good
leadership group does. If the team's underperforming, you make changes.
It doesn't work, it doesn't fit all right? Final five?
Is there a lesson from Sunday ago being five hundred
and the New York Metropolitans with the highest payroll in
baseball being under five hundred as we sit here in
(12:33):
mid May, both getting off the slow starts. So yes, yes,
this is a teachable moment. There are several takeaways from this.
The first obvious one is that the big name player
does not guarantee global domination. We all knew that, every man,
woman and child should know that that you can talk
to talk, but you've got to walk the walk and
all of the regular season, all of it, though, is subterfuge.
(13:00):
You clean the chalkboard and you start fresh in the postseason.
We saw a bit of that last year with the Padres,
who were not particularly great during the regular season and
then got a couple of fluke things go their way
in the playoffs and they ended up in the Final
four of Major League Baseball. So this is also a
refresher course, though, like to go back in the DeLorean,
(13:24):
We're gonna set the year to twenty twenty, and what
we've seen from the Padres and the Mets is a reminder.
It is verification that the Los Angeles Dodgers won the
hardest World Series of all time because baseball and the
Padres are proving this and the Mets are proving it.
It's a marathon. You take your time, you don't really
(13:45):
worry that much at the beginning, and then you know,
you figure it out. It's okay, you got twenty six
point two miles, and if you're not doing that well
at the mile three marker, the mile four marker, it's okay.
But it was a sprint. It was only a sixty
game season. There was no margin for error to get
(14:06):
into the playoffs, and the Dodgers that World Series win
should be worth like three World Series wins because it
was fundamentally different, fundamentally different in a harder way than
the way the sport is normally played. Whereas basketball was
much easier. They had five months off and they were
at a resort in Florida, much easier. But man was
(14:30):
looking at the Padres and Mets this year, teams that
were both expected to do well that are not doing
well right now, and they're like, well, we have plenty
of time. But it's it's crazy that you know. That's
that's how the sport is normally played. Man, it is
the Ben Malord Show. You want to comment on that
or anything else, you can join us here at eighty
seven seven ninety nine on Fox eight seven seven nine
(14:53):
nine six six three six nine if you would like
to be part of the radio program. We got lame
jokes of the week coming up a little bit later
in the but time now for the Mallard Riddle of
the day. You can answer this on Twitter at Ben
Mahller and here's the Mallor Riddle of the day. Then
the Nuggets have a rookie name Christian Braun. Oh that's
(15:13):
actually a pretty good name. Doesn't that sound like a
like a villain in a movie. He should be teammates
with Desmond Baine. You could put Christian Braun and Desmond
Baines side by said that'd be a good dynamic doo anyway,
get to the point please, So here's the riddle of
the day. Nuggets rookie Christian Braun said he was fined
fifteen thousand dollars by the team for blank before he
(15:37):
had even received his first NBA paycheck. Again, Christian Braun
of the Nuggets said he was fined fifteen thousand dollars
for blank prior to even receiving his very first NBA paycheck.
That is the Malor riddle of the day. The answer,
We'll get to it. We will do it next.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
Oh yeah, chicken and move your mind.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
You gotta do it, you gotta do it.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Mallor
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Malam Militia. Turn on your radio. It's time to listen
to the Ben Mai Show. S in the air.
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And everywhere, So don't be name.
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I'm man alongst.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
Comments Soon when Man begins to blow, be eight the
show stars being Man Mallory.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Join the curious world of The Ben Malo Show Online
it is painfree and easy to do. Just follow your
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Rob twenty four.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Ben spend the most lives in end Like Paradise and.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
He likes to sing from from time to time and
out live from the tire Rock dot Com, Fox Sports
Radio Studios. It's Ben Mauer.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
Rather Kids Wiz.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Last Hour off Big Bang's lame jokes of the Weed.
I spoke the weed Man hippie off the air. He
told me that his phone is not working, but he's
going to try to call in, but he says it's
not working. I said, how is it not? You're talking
to me on the phone. How is it not working?
He's it's not lighting up. He said, maybe the rats
ate his phone.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Wait a minute, he was talking to you on the
phone but his phone wasn't working.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yes, yes, I spoke to him on the phone. He
then informed me he cannot call in because his phone's
not working, and I said, well, you're talking to me,
I can I can hear you, and you can hear me.
And he said, yeah. But the things he's got one
of those Obama phones and it's not lit up, you know,
a smartphone, but it's not it's not working, so I
don't know. He said, he's gonna try to call in,
(18:07):
so who knows. But we'll just goof on him anyway.
If he doesn't call it, it doesn't matter. We got to
pay off the malar riddle of the day, the malar
riddle of the day, and here it is. Nuggets rookie
Christian Braun was fined fifteen thousand dollars for blank by
the team prior to even receiving his first NBA paycheck.
(18:28):
He got fined fifteen thousand dollars. Gus says he was
fine because he didn't know what Taco Tuesday was. Courtesy.
Flusher says, not courtesy Flushing. Fer Dog not tipping the
team limo driver was the problem. Bean boot maker Bob
says taking home the good locker room towels that is
(18:50):
that is taboo. That is a no no. Late night
drug tester says not wearing a proper hairnet was the problem.
Donkey Sausage says gain Signs was the issue. Who else
do we have? Page down? Page down? The Sawman says
for telling Steve Baumer there is no such thing as
(19:11):
not winning a championship, because you are going to win
a championship. Let's see, who else do we have? Page down,
page down? Kevin said Kevin and Florides is leaving a
toilet seat up was the answer. Pizza in your face,
not compete. Completing the team rookie laundry list, including jockstraps
was the answer. J Dot in Utah says that he
(19:35):
was fined fifteen thousand dollars for buying Queen Roxanne's OnlyFans account.
How dare you? How dare you take a shot at
our friend, the Great Queen Roxanne alf the alien o
Piner in Springfield, mass home of the Pro Basketball Hall
of Fame, where Muffett McGraw's and Shrine said was fine
for stinking up the practice facility is the answer. Page down,
(20:00):
page down. Calligan Tim and Michigan says he was fined
for fifteen thousand for stealing weed man Hippi's teeth. Double wow.
Mexican just went with a random answer. Instagram booty model
went in doubt go with the Instagram booty model. Scott
in Rhode Island says this guy was fine for showing
up to practice naked eddie the answer to the malrilla day.
(20:23):
Do you have the answer? Nuggets rookie Christian Brawn was
fined fifteen thousand dollars by the team for blank prior
to receiving his first NBA paycheck.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
He was fine for being late to a team meeting.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Late to a team meeting? Is that correct? No, that
is not correct. He says. He was fined fifteen thousand
dollars because he parked sideways across owners Stan Kronkes designated
parking spots at the Nuggets team facility. He said he
only did it for two and a half minutes, but
a security camera caught him. They find him for each
(21:00):
parking space of stan Kronki's he parked in and the
total was fifteen grand. Later on, though the team did
rescind most of it, he ended up having to be
He paid a twenty five hundred dollars fine for illegally parking,
but originally it was fifteen thousand dollars fifteen grand. He
got fined for parking in stan Kronki's location. Let's go
(21:22):
to the phones and cashing a golden ticket? Is sir
scratch off? Hello, sir scratch off.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
Hey, Ben, I got a question for you, man, Are
you serious about August? Because I found out my wife
and Eddie? Eddie, don't your birthday fell in August?
Speaker 2 (21:38):
No?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
I don't hear my watch kept say Eggie's birthday. But anyway,
oh man, y'all serous about August? You would call if
I would pay for these tickets.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
You're not gonna pay for us to go there?
Speaker 4 (21:52):
I will be. You don't have no idea about me
being you know.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Come, man, Eddie.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Don't you don't give me time? Tell you about me?
Speaker 1 (21:58):
All right, calm down, I'm down. You don't need to
brag here, Eddie.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
No, I'm not bragging. I'm just telling you, buddy, I
got a lot of friends, got a lot of places.
But here's the stipulation. You gotta bring one person, which
if you come, you gotta break Coop.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Get you why, just funny, Just pay for Coop and
then he can go there you go, you can hang
out with Coop.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
I want you guys in Memphis, Man, big guy, you
come over with that mind and we get old taboy
fan down from from Texas. Ups. Maybe we may may
can't bring his rout to Tennessee, but that'd be fun.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Dude, we'll Eddie. You want to go hang out with
Sir scratch Off. He's gonna pay for our travel to
go there in August to Memphis. Yeah, he just said
he Well.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
This is good. I thought he was from Arkansas.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Well, it's right across the way there, it's not.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
I'm forty five minutes from Big Daddy. Man. I know
where big guy's at because I had to take a
test years ago before I started driving to go to
work with, you know, be a manager with Kroger. And
I passed and I said hell with that, and I
got out start driving, So I know where he's at.
Members I believe it's the same Kroger.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
All right, well, all right, listen, Well we'll consider it.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
You know, Eddie's adeve over there, so he might have
some demands. I don't know what he's got, but man, we'll.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
Get over money wise down here. We'll get autographs on
y'all have good time.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Oh boy, Coop, that sounds like they want to do
a like a liar, liar event or something there. Coop,
you want to go to Arkansas in August? Coop, I'm good.
Coop says he doesn't want to go. He says he's
not interested.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
I'm not lockout him on the phone. Guys, I'm a
good nuture dude.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
It's not that. Uh okay, Well, I'm down. I'll go.
I'd love to go. That being said, I do have
a close friend that did move to Arkansas for some reason,
so we're probably a little cheaper there. You're your friends
with Sir scratcherw No, all right, listen, I'm down. You
got to convince Eddie. I'm I'm good. I would do it.
I don't think I haven't.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Oh yeah, that's definitely more where my son moves.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Oh there, you got Coop. Your buddy could be friends
with Sir scratch Ow's son.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
He draws he draws out, you know, and then also
play softball all weekend. But like I said, we have
a great time.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
We would have a good time. I think it would
be fun. I'd love to do it. I'm going to
Minnesota next week. I'll be there next Saturday. We're doing
a meet and greet for those that don't know about
it yet in Minnesota, it's all on social media.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Ticket sports Jones Burrow and why are you introduced some wrestlers?
And there's a couple of runs of the radio station
over you know, works during nighttime. So Randy Hales and
Jimmy Hart we have a good time. Brother.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Oh Jimmy, Now, Jimmy Hart. That's a name that resonates.
Jimmy Hart.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
Well, I've known him for a while. Man, I've known
him for probably about ten years.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
And even even Eddie knows, you know, j Mouthcolm South Yeah, yeah,
the megaphone. All right, thank you? How old do you think, Jimmy?
He's got to be. He was old when I was
a kid. He's got to be old now I'm old
now he must be he's old. Sixties, I think seventies.
I gotta think seventies. He's seventy nine years old. Oh
(24:54):
my god, God, we're getting old. Holy crap, how did
that happen?
Speaker 2 (24:58):
All right, man, old, We're not getting We're not getting old.
Speaker 5 (25:03):
Old.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
That sucks, man. Anyway, that beats the alternative. We got
to convince you, Eddie, We got to convince you go
eat some Arkansas barbecue, Memphis barbecue. Hang out.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
I've been to Memphis before. He didn't like it.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
I was almost arrested at the Memphis airport years ago.
So I could I could go back. No, they double booked.
I had uh the I was flying for work and
we stopped. There was no direct flights. It was when
Cleveland was playing Miami in the World Series. There were
no direct flights, so I had to stop in Memphis.
And the company had paid for a first class ticket,
(25:38):
but they double booked the first class ticket and I
was in the seat, and so then there were the
flight attendants like, you got to get out of the seat.
And I'm like, I'm not getting I have the ticket,
there's the ticket. I'm in the right seat, and they said, no,
you gotta get they they double booked it, and I said,
I'm not getting out of the seat. And then some big,
you know, means police guy got out on the plane.
(25:59):
So I got out of this. Why'd you get to
but why did you have to get on the seat?
If you have to guess the guy was a I
don't know. He must have they knew who the guy was.
He must traveled a lot more than I was a
kid at the time, so I don't. I don't really know.
He must have worked for the airline or somebody. That's
my theory on it, because why, yeah, I was in
there first. It's like first come, first serve, I thought,
(26:20):
But you should have sued. Yeah, I missed out a
lot of money.
Speaker 5 (26:24):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Hey, it's Ben, host of The Fifth Hour with Ben
Maller along with my trustee sidekick David Gascon. Would mean
a lot to have you join us on our weekly
auditory journey. You're asking, what in God's name is the
Fifth Hour? I'll tell you it's a spin off of
The Ben Maler Show, a cult hit overnights on FSR.
Why should you listen? Picture if you will a world will.
We chat with captains of industry in media, sports, and
(26:52):
more every week explore some amazing facts about human nature
and more. Listen to The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get
your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
In the NHL, we actually had a couple of suspensions
handed down from the Vegas series going on against Edmonton.
Alex Petrangelo of Vegas received a one game suspension for
a two headed slash to the arm of Eiler star
Leon dry Saddle. Then afterwards there was a fight involving
Edmondson defenseman Darneell Nurse, and he got suspended because he
(27:23):
instigated a fight in the final few minutes of the game.
That's it's a rule they put in a few years
back in the NHL to try and prevent those, you know,
those staged fights they used to call him back in
the wall.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Yeah, I love those. When I covered hockey, like a
minute in they dropped.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
The gloves and yeah, yeah, yeah. But the thing is
he got actually got challenged to the fight, if you
believe some of the reports. So he was just, you know,
kind of got screwed over there. So a couple of
key players not going to play in the next game
of game five of that series.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
All right, fun fact, you're in the Mets. I love
I love flogging a dead horse, or in this case,
a dead Met. So the that's last season were shut
out eight times all season. It is Friday, May twelfth,
and the Mets have been shut out seven times already
this season, seven times. And I saw on sny they
(28:14):
interviewed Francisco, then Door, the big player they got a
couple of years ago Late of Cleveland, and Lindor was
asked why the Mets keep getting shut out? And he said,
hats off to all the teams that shut us out.
That's all I got. I wish I had an answer
for that one. I bet you do. I bet you do.
And since we're piling on Mets, how about former Mets
(28:36):
where Jacob Degram. Even though the Rangers are having a
surprisingly good season, Jacob de Gram he on for at
least another couple of weeks, probably another month with elbow inflammation.
De Gram is up to his altars. He's in mid
season form, mid season form for the Rangers. Let's go
(28:58):
to Jed who fled Hell. Hello Jed who fled in Florida?
Hello Jay.
Speaker 6 (29:05):
I'm not sure you're still looking for Amanda from the
first hour, But how about there They used to ask me,
like what to do with that page Thomas Lear Thomas
like he's a man. Oh no, that is like an
answer worretiking for and the scratch out forced to buy
me a ticket, dude, he can buy me a ticket
at Florida's Department of corrections, probation, season fines, and I
could get all the information in the East to buy
me a ticket there perfectly.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
You're not allowed to cross state lines though, Is that correct?
You're not allowed to cross state lines?
Speaker 6 (29:31):
Dude, I'm already a criminal because I'm willing to break
these walls. Dude, Warrior, you're you're an idiot anyway.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
Listen.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Oh, by the way, big news here, sir, scratch up
big news. A salsa, the legendary salsa says that we
should go to Memphis. It's chill. You gotta have the barbecue,
all right, I going hour really like going.
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Listen, listen if we ment hippies now that head of
this ready, man, I love you.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Oh you want to you want to play the you
want to play the wet. You want to be in
the weed man's here. You want to be pretend to
be weed man.
Speaker 6 (30:00):
I'm saying I've not obliterated as many weeks weeks since
Branch as he is, as I say my way through
the statement, So I mean it makes a point.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
Yeah, all right, hold.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
On, say hey, hold on, if he's not there, you'll
be my weed man. Okay, I'm serious.
Speaker 6 (30:16):
I've never show I'm saying it all the time. You
know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
All right, hold on, sake, hold on, I'll put you on. No,
I'll put you on hold. And then I don't know
if weed Man's called in or not. I don't think
he's gonna call it. And he told me his phone
wasn't working on the phone, which is which is just wonderful.
My phone does not working. You're talking on the phone, dummy. Anyway,
all right, it is the Bean Mallards Show and we're
gonna have the aforementioned Big Bend's Lame Jokes of the Week.
(30:42):
This portion of the show brought to you by Progressive Insurance.
Progressive makes bundling easy and affordable. Get a multi policy
discount by combining your motorcycle, RV, boat, a TV, and
more all your protection in one place, wonder Land save
at Progressive dot Com. Big Ben's Lame Jokes of the Week.
We get to that for the rest of the hour,
and we'll do it it.
Speaker 5 (31:01):
Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
the nation. Catch all of our shows at Foxsports Radio
dot com and within the iHeartRadio app. Search FSR to
listen live.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Calling all Malur Militia foot soldiers. We need your helping
hand to gain new recruits By posting and tagging Malar
Show related content on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and all social networks.
You are the special ingredient needed to influence others to
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(31:33):
It's Ben Maller.
Speaker 5 (31:38):
Knock knock, who's there? Blame week? Blame week too. It's
Big Ben's lame joke of the week.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
We can not afford to get that s added on.
It's lame jokes of the week. These are actual jokes
sending by actual listeners of the show like yourself, and
you can send your jokes care of benmahlorshow at gmail
dot com. Ben Malors at gmail dot com. Make sure
you put jokes in the headline. That way I know
(32:05):
to read this email with the jokes in them and
prepare them. You gotta get the jokes in by early
in the day on on Thursday, as we do the
show Thursday night in a Friday morning, which he is
right now. So here we go. Let's go lame jokes.
Do we have weed? Man is he there, Cooper Loop, No,
he is not. He is not there. All right, we
have a weed man replacement. We have Jed who fled?
(32:27):
Are you there? Jed? Make me laugh?
Speaker 2 (32:34):
All right, here we go.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
What did Lizzo say when asked what she had planned
for dinner?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Eddie, I don't know what.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
She said, everything is on the table. She said, everything
is on the table. That's a surfer Todd the comedian.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
You're a filling weed man.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
A little late, Yeah, timing, that's surfer Todd the comedian
who said he's traveling through Baja California and it will
either be the greatest time of his life or he
will be decapitated. He said, either one. He's okay with
story number two. What do you call Lizzo standing on
a table?
Speaker 2 (33:12):
I don't know what. Do you call it?
Speaker 1 (33:13):
A counterweight?
Speaker 6 (33:16):
Well?
Speaker 1 (33:16):
No, see that you were too soon on that one.
You were you jumped again? A counterweight? That's from just
Josh in Cincinnati. Did you hear that Lizzo is excited
to meet the King and the Queen?
Speaker 6 (33:29):
No?
Speaker 2 (33:29):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Yeah, she said. Since she's a little girl, she's always
loved burger King and dairy Queen She's always loved them.
Speaker 6 (33:35):
That's Brendan ben I love Darry Queen.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Brendan from Boston sent that one in weed Man sounds
a little different this week. I don't know why. How
do you get Lizzo to rise up for an occasion?
Speaker 2 (33:50):
I don't know how you preheat to.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Four hundred degrees and goes to golden brown there, apparently
from just Josh. I don't know what tell that is?
And Cincinnati? How kind is Lizzo? I don't know how
kinds is Lisa there? Weed Man? Is Lisa there? Okay?
Hi Lisa? How kind is Lizzo? She she'll give you, well,
(34:21):
this is a disaster. She will give you the shirt
off her back, which you can use as a car cover.
Eddie as a car cover in Roseville, Minnesota. This is
from Tony in the Bay, so everyone needs to laugh
at it. Why should Lizzo open a produce market?
Speaker 2 (34:39):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Whoopie Pie Blair says she's got great melons according to
Whoopie Pie Blair. Okay, do you ever find your teeth there?
Weed Man? Okay?
Speaker 6 (34:55):
What?
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Why doesn't weed Man have to walk far to use
the toilet? I don't know why Oh, his pants are
right there, eddie. Why would he want to walk to retire?
So surfer Todd the comedian, Oh, I'm sorry about that.
Did you know that sometimes weed Man gets a meal
that really sticks to his ribs?
Speaker 2 (35:18):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Yeah, those are the mice that he pulls out of
the glue traps. They're really fimming the Hillbilly Mike and
he jokes over there, Koper loop. No, no, you're just
laughing at us drowning here. No, no life preserver, You're
just watching me drown here with the fiat. Okay. Why
(35:42):
why does weed Man hippie love weddings?
Speaker 2 (35:45):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Two words eddie free rice, free rice Eddie. That's Chris
in des Moines. Apparently weed Man is living in a
really old home.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
Oh is that right?
Speaker 6 (36:00):
And then why a his fleet as a mess?
Speaker 4 (36:04):
Scared shadows.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
The answer? A right, Well, I think we're good. Thank you,
thank you, fake we man. Uh yeah, even the mice
there are a little long in the tooth, Eddie. That's
the answer to the joke's course of Big Ben's lame
jokes of the week. Why was weed Man happy that
they found his teeth clogging the toilet drain.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
I don't know. Why was he happy?
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Because they were cleaner than when he lost them, Eddie,
they were cleaner than when he lost them. That's from
our pal Chip in Maine, who sent that one in.
It's Big Ben's lame jokes of the week. And why
was weed Man upset after he received free tickets to
a Marlins game?
Speaker 2 (36:46):
I don't know why would be upset by that?
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Well, he's offended because they gave him box seats, Eddie,
and he had PTSD. He got upset by that, I said,
Just Josh who sent that one in. It's Big Ben's
lame jokes of the week. Did you know that weed
Man is a huge fan of carnivals?
Speaker 2 (37:03):
I didn't. I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Yes, his his favorite Eddy is well Fair. He's a
big thing, enjoys it very much. That's from just Josh
in Cincinnati. Any jokes over there, Coop anything? No? All right?
Why is weed Man moving to Oakland?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Plenty of room for him there?
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Yeah, well here the coliseum will soon be empty. So
he thought he might even earth in Kansas? Who sent
that one in? I'd see page enough weed Man jokes.
He's not even here? Uh can't read that on the air.
We'll skip over that. What's the difference between Roberto cooking
and blind Scott cooking.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
I don't know what's the difference.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Well, Roberto can actually look up his recipes. See that's
the difference.
Speaker 5 (37:49):
That's Kurt.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Kurt from Earth sent that one in and all right, police,
here's a here's a story we didn't talk about. Police
arrested four people for Jose Altuve on opening day and
apologized for taking so long.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Is that right?
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Yeah, they were busy investigating the jewelry theft Altuve and
the Astros committed at the World Series. That's from George
in Rochester, Minnesota. And I think that's it there. It is.
Lame jokes of the week. Thank you all. Send them
in again next week, same time, same station, but better jokes.
Hello, and welcome. It's our name, Birthree talking bays Ball,
major League Baseball or Baseball hour. A man who is
very subdued, Bob Melvin. Bob Melvin not good for my job.
He doesn't say interesting things almost ever. This is the
(00:21):
rare and appropriate exception Bob Melvin ripping the pod squad.
What does Bob Melvin's rant about the pathetic podres tell us?
And where is the concern O meter Mather's concern O
meter for the twenty twenty three podreys. Is there a
lesson from San Diego and the Mets also both getting
(00:43):
off to very slow starts here in twenty twenty three.
We'll talk about that as well. Here it is and
lame jokes. What an hour it's free? I should charge
for this? Here it is. Don't give you any ideas
Our number three, the odd Squad, a fraud, says the headline.
(01:04):
Welcome in the beginning of another hour of the Benmatherer Show.
We are in the air everywhere, a word buffet, all
the words you could possibly want. As we have a
seat at the table, not a good seat because it's
(01:25):
overnight the upper balcony, but we're hanging out coast to coast, border,
the border and beyond on the mast and wonderfully powerful
microphones of fsr M monating live from the stump. As
in the stump speech, we are broadcasting live from the
tire rack dot com studios. Tire raq dot com will
(01:48):
help you get there in unmatched selection, fast free shipping,
free road hazard protection, and over ten thousand recommended installers.
Tire rack dot com the way tie they are buying
should be. I had to move my microphone. You might
have heard that my mic it did. I think the
poltergeist attacked and it kind of moved out of the way.
(02:09):
I think that guy Hayes in Minnesota was messing with
my microphone. Bad job by you, Hayes, Bad job by you.
We have met our quota on pro bouncy ball talk.
We'll get back to that a little more later, but
right now our league comes from baseball and we talk
about a little bit of this, a little bit of that.
We try to have a balanced diet of sports talk
(02:29):
this time of the year. Now, during football, we do
not have a balanced diet. We pig out. We are hawsers.
We absolutely pig out on football. But when it's not
football season, we believe that everything in moderation is the
way to go, even moderation. So the story that caught
my attention, and I want to thank I'm so proud
(02:50):
when I when I wake up and people who listen
to the show say, hey, you got a rant about
this or did you see this? I think I'd like
to hear your rid and this is one of those stories.
I had several listeners who said, did you see this?
You got to talk about this. I was like, you
know what, that is a really wonderful story, and I
went thumbs up, I'm all in on that. And I
(03:12):
did not right back to everyone, but we had several
people that sent this to me, So I do thank
you for that. But I probably would have seen it anyway.
But the fact that you took time out of your
life to send that to me, that that does help.
That does help, because sometimes I miss stuff it happens.
So this is wild. It involves the struggles of the Podreys,
(03:36):
not the Mets. Are different and people have sending me
stories about the Mets. We'll get to that maybe next week.
But a couple of heavyweight teams, the Mets and Podreys,
who right now are playing like lightweights but the Podreys
lost to the Minnesota Twins, did not play well in
that series, and they are back at five hundred. The
buzz here is all about the pod squad. So if
(03:57):
you didn't hear about this, or didn't didn't see thee
or anything like that, we'll get you caught up. It
involves manager Bob Melvin, who laid in to the floundering
baseball team that he is overseeing and he went on
a rant. Now rather than me, just sit here and
(04:17):
read the quote of Bob Melvin, as Warner Wolf used
to say back in his day as a Hall of
Fame broadcaster, let's go to the audio tape.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Time to quit just talking about it. It's time to
go out there and do it.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
So another frustrating game for us, underperformed. It's got to
fight a little harder and expect a little bit more
of ourselves, all of us, myself included. So we have
not done that to this point. These stretches happen, but
it's going on too long. We got to break through
here at some point. I don't think there's enough enough
tenacity throughout the course of the game. We show signs
(04:53):
of it, we show spurts of it, we come out
like we should, and then we don't sustain it for
the entire game.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
There you go, all right, So that's there's some big
words as we parse the words of Bob Melvin. So
let's get into it. It is mid May and the
Padres are a five hundred team, so let's discuss what
you just heard. What does Bob Melvin's rant about the
Padres tell us? So I've got ding dong lagoon and
(05:21):
authentication or verification, actually the verification. So we will combine
all of these things together and we are going to
make fish tacos, which you can get at Padre games
at least back in the day when I used to
go to Padre games when I was working in San Diego.
Did the fish tacos stand right there? So Bob Melvin
some big words here, some big words. He used the
(05:41):
U word underperforming. That's a big one, right, underperformed. He
used tenacity as a lack of tenacity. That's also a
big word. That's also a big word to use. So
my first thought on this, Bob Melvin is a vanilla
person in sports. If you were to compile a master
(06:04):
list of people that give great content to sports media,
Bob Melvin would be a last tier type of coach.
Very vanilla, very vanilla. This is a guy who puts
the capitol B in the word bland about almost everything.
It's his public persona and for him by Bob Melvin
(06:28):
standards to take the gloves off and Bob and weave
when talking about the padres and go with that underperforming
word man. My thought is this that that was not
who Bob Melvin is. That's not how Bob Melvin's operators
been a manager for a long time in the big leagues.
That the doorbell, somebody was at the door, somebody rang
(06:49):
the doorbell, and Bob Melvin heard the dangdong from upstairs.
And I forget the general manager. I think this goes
all the way to the top. Peter Seidler, who is
a baller. As an owner, every fan would want a
guy like this guy to own their team. Peter Seidler
owns what has always been a small market team boxed
(07:10):
in San Diego, po dunk San Diego, off the grid,
surrounded by the Pacific Ocean, the desert and Mexico, and
then you've got La. It's a little bubble in south
South southern California, and Peter Sidler's gone down there and
he's thrown money around. He's burning money on this team,
(07:31):
the Padres. When you include the competitive balance tax, the
Padres payrolls almost two hundred and seventy five million. The
only teams that are spending more are the Mets and
the Yankees, the Mets and the Yankees. And so the
way I read the room here, and I'm never wrong
about these things, Peter Seidler got the message whether down
(07:52):
to Melvin, whether he did it directly or indirectly, and
Bob Melvin was read the Riot Act and that was
the inspiration for that lecture that Bob Melvin gave. Now, secondly,
when you take a couple of steps back, where is
the Malard concern O meter for the twenty twenty three Podres.
(08:12):
So the Malor concern O meter one to ten, with
ten being cataclysmic. I'm only at a five point five.
I wish I was higher. I'd rather I'd like to
be at an eight point five or nine. I'd like
a nine and a half. I'd love a ten. But
I'm only at a five point five on the Mallard
concern ometer for the podrais I'll tell you why. It's
(08:35):
like going to Churchill Downs for the Kentucky Derby. And
just because your horse is losing at the quarter pole
of the Kentucky Derby does not mean that your your
horse is not going to rally by the time they
come down the stretch and end up in the winners circle.
And San Diego they play twenty three percent of the schedule.
(08:56):
They have over one hundred and twenty games go or
something like that. I mean, they got a bunch of games.
There's tons of games here to go, and so who's
the most guilty?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Though?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
I like to play the blame game, And even though
the Padres have plenty of opportunity to rally, back the
blame game on this one. Simple You've got the offense
which has been offensive, not in a good way, and
the bullpen which has been bursting at the seams. Here
the Padres werening twenty fourth in run scored. Look at
that lineup. How is that lineup twenty fourth in run scored?
(09:30):
The Royals have scored more runs. Kansas City is a
minor league team and they've scored more runs. The Giants
are a minor league team and they've scored more runs.
Then I look at the bullpen. Now, the bullpen is
not the worst in baseball, there's sixteenth in the big leagues,
but they have performed much worse than that number of late,
like we saw Mookie Bets go deep in a game
(09:53):
against the Padres recently, and the Padres Josh Hater blew
it as an example. So a lot of players are
in the lagoon, the lazy lagoon. They're floating on the
inner tube on the lazy lagoon. Among them, you gotta
start with Juan Soto. I was told by people that
are smarter than me. They tell me they're smarter than me,
(10:15):
that one Soda is a top five player in baseball,
that one Soda is gonna get one of those nice,
sexy four hundred million dollar contracts. And he's coming up
on free agency year shortly. And Juan Soto has batted
so far this year two fifty six. He is unpaced,
hit twenty six home runs, which is fine, and eighty
one RBIs that's okay, but not if you're one of
(10:37):
the top five players in baseball, it's not. Then You've
got Manny Machado, good old many coasting along. Where have
we seen this before? Many's also hitting two fifty and
he's on pace to driving less than eighty runs and
hit less than twenty five home runs. And the former
Red Sox Andrew bogarts This is the latest big free
agent pickup for the Pod squad. Xander bogarts Is is
(11:00):
not making the kind of impact that the Padres thought.
He's another guy who's gonna hit about twenty. He's on
pace about twenty five home runs. He's on pace to
drive in less than sixty five runs. But wait, there's more.
You've got that steroid chet Fernando Tatis, who's on pace again.
He missed the first month of the year, but he's
on pacee about twenty home runs around fifty RBIs and
(11:23):
he needs I think his entire team in San Diego
needs more that ringworm medication. There's a pharmacy in Tijuana.
They can go down and get that if they need it.
But overall, this concoction needs more seasoning. The cheese fondue
is a little nasty right now in that locker room.
But the reason I'm at a five and a half
is time. There's plenty of time, and I know for
(11:48):
a fact, I will bet you that Peter Sidler, the
owner in San Diego is not just gonna sit there
on his hands and say, okay, well, just let the
season play out. See how we do now. If the
Podres suck at the trade deadline, then there will be
plenty of moving and shaking and the musical chairs will start.
(12:10):
That's what a good owner does. That's what a good
leadership group does. If the team's underperforming, you make changes.
It doesn't work, it doesn't fit all right? Final five?
Is there a lesson from Sunday ago being five hundred
and the New York Metropolitans with the highest payroll in
baseball being under five hundred as we sit here in
(12:33):
mid May, both getting off the slow starts. So yes, yes,
this is a teachable moment. There are several takeaways from this.
The first obvious one is that the big name player
does not guarantee global domination. We all knew that, every man,
woman and child should know that that you can talk
to talk, but you've got to walk the walk and
all of the regular season, all of it, though, is subterfuge.
(13:00):
You clean the chalkboard and you start fresh in the postseason.
We saw a bit of that last year with the Padres,
who were not particularly great during the regular season and
then got a couple of fluke things go their way
in the playoffs and they ended up in the Final
four of Major League Baseball. So this is also a
refresher course, though, like to go back in the DeLorean,
(13:24):
We're gonna set the year to twenty twenty, and what
we've seen from the Padres and the Mets is a reminder.
It is verification that the Los Angeles Dodgers won the
hardest World Series of all time because baseball and the
Padres are proving this and the Mets are proving it.
It's a marathon. You take your time, you don't really
(13:45):
worry that much at the beginning, and then you know,
you figure it out. It's okay, you got twenty six
point two miles, and if you're not doing that well
at the mile three marker, the mile four marker, it's okay.
But it was a sprint. It was only a sixty
game season. There was no margin for error to get
(14:06):
into the playoffs, and the Dodgers that World Series win
should be worth like three World Series wins because it
was fundamentally different, fundamentally different in a harder way than
the way the sport is normally played. Whereas basketball was
much easier. They had five months off and they were
at a resort in Florida, much easier. But man was
(14:30):
looking at the Padres and Mets this year, teams that
were both expected to do well that are not doing
well right now, and they're like, well, we have plenty
of time. But it's it's crazy that you know. That's
that's how the sport is normally played. Man, it is
the Ben Malord Show. You want to comment on that
or anything else, you can join us here at eighty
seven seven ninety nine on Fox eight seven seven nine
(14:53):
nine six six three six nine if you would like
to be part of the radio program. We got lame
jokes of the week coming up a little bit later
in the but time now for the Mallard Riddle of
the day. You can answer this on Twitter at Ben
Mahller and here's the Mallor Riddle of the day. Then
the Nuggets have a rookie name Christian Braun. Oh that's
(15:13):
actually a pretty good name. Doesn't that sound like a
like a villain in a movie. He should be teammates
with Desmond Baine. You could put Christian Braun and Desmond
Baines side by said that'd be a good dynamic doo anyway,
get to the point please, So here's the riddle of
the day. Nuggets rookie Christian Braun said he was fined
fifteen thousand dollars by the team for blank before he
(15:37):
had even received his first NBA paycheck. Again, Christian Braun
of the Nuggets said he was fined fifteen thousand dollars
for blank prior to even receiving his very first NBA paycheck.
That is the Malor riddle of the day. The answer,
We'll get to it. We will do it next.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
Oh yeah, chicken and move your mind.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
You gotta do it, you gotta do it.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Mallor
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Malam Militia. Turn on your radio. It's time to listen
to the Ben Mai Show. S in the air.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
And everywhere, So don't be name.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
I'm man alongst.
Speaker 5 (16:40):
Comments Soon when Man begins to blow, be eight the
show stars being Man Mallory.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Join the curious world of The Ben Malo Show Online
it is painfree and easy to do. Just follow your
host on Twitter. He's at Ben Mallord and you can
tweet that and follow our technical producer. He plays all
the music. Get most funny sound bites of the Ben
Bler Show. His first name is Roberto, his last name
is Flora as you can follow me a Raider Underscore
Rob twenty four.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
Ben spend the most lives in end Like Paradise and.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
He likes to sing from from time to time and
out live from the tire Rock dot Com, Fox Sports
Radio Studios. It's Ben Mauer.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
Rather Kids Wiz.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Last Hour off Big Bang's lame jokes of the Weed.
I spoke the weed Man hippie off the air. He
told me that his phone is not working, but he's
going to try to call in, but he says it's
not working. I said, how is it not? You're talking
to me on the phone. How is it not working?
He's it's not lighting up. He said, maybe the rats
ate his phone.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Wait a minute, he was talking to you on the
phone but his phone wasn't working.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yes, yes, I spoke to him on the phone. He
then informed me he cannot call in because his phone's
not working, and I said, well, you're talking to me,
I can I can hear you, and you can hear me.
And he said, yeah. But the things he's got one
of those Obama phones and it's not lit up, you know,
a smartphone, but it's not it's not working, so I
don't know. He said, he's gonna try to call in,
(18:07):
so who knows. But we'll just goof on him anyway.
If he doesn't call it, it doesn't matter. We got to
pay off the malar riddle of the day, the malar
riddle of the day, and here it is. Nuggets rookie
Christian Braun was fined fifteen thousand dollars for blank by
the team prior to even receiving his first NBA paycheck.
(18:28):
He got fined fifteen thousand dollars. Gus says he was
fine because he didn't know what Taco Tuesday was. Courtesy.
Flusher says, not courtesy Flushing. Fer Dog not tipping the
team limo driver was the problem. Bean boot maker Bob
says taking home the good locker room towels that is
(18:50):
that is taboo. That is a no no. Late night
drug tester says not wearing a proper hairnet was the problem.
Donkey Sausage says gain Signs was the issue. Who else
do we have? Page down? Page down? The Sawman says
for telling Steve Baumer there is no such thing as
(19:11):
not winning a championship, because you are going to win
a championship. Let's see, who else do we have? Page down,
page down? Kevin said Kevin and Florides is leaving a
toilet seat up was the answer. Pizza in your face,
not compete. Completing the team rookie laundry list, including jockstraps
was the answer. J Dot in Utah says that he
(19:35):
was fined fifteen thousand dollars for buying Queen Roxanne's OnlyFans account.
How dare you? How dare you take a shot at
our friend, the Great Queen Roxanne alf the alien o
Piner in Springfield, mass home of the Pro Basketball Hall
of Fame, where Muffett McGraw's and Shrine said was fine
for stinking up the practice facility is the answer. Page down,
(20:00):
page down. Calligan Tim and Michigan says he was fined
for fifteen thousand for stealing weed man Hippi's teeth. Double wow.
Mexican just went with a random answer. Instagram booty model
went in doubt go with the Instagram booty model. Scott
in Rhode Island says this guy was fine for showing
up to practice naked eddie the answer to the malrilla day.
(20:23):
Do you have the answer? Nuggets rookie Christian Brawn was
fined fifteen thousand dollars by the team for blank prior
to receiving his first NBA paycheck.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
He was fine for being late to a team meeting.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Late to a team meeting? Is that correct? No, that
is not correct. He says. He was fined fifteen thousand
dollars because he parked sideways across owners Stan Kronkes designated
parking spots at the Nuggets team facility. He said he
only did it for two and a half minutes, but
a security camera caught him. They find him for each
(21:00):
parking space of stan Kronki's he parked in and the
total was fifteen grand. Later on, though the team did
rescind most of it, he ended up having to be
He paid a twenty five hundred dollars fine for illegally parking,
but originally it was fifteen thousand dollars fifteen grand. He
got fined for parking in stan Kronki's location. Let's go
(21:22):
to the phones and cashing a golden ticket? Is sir
scratch off? Hello, sir scratch off.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
Hey, Ben, I got a question for you, man, Are
you serious about August? Because I found out my wife
and Eddie? Eddie, don't your birthday fell in August?
Speaker 2 (21:38):
No?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
I don't hear my watch kept say Eggie's birthday. But anyway,
oh man, y'all serous about August? You would call if
I would pay for these tickets.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
You're not gonna pay for us to go there?
Speaker 4 (21:52):
I will be. You don't have no idea about me
being you know.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Come, man, Eddie.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Don't you don't give me time? Tell you about me?
Speaker 1 (21:58):
All right, calm down, I'm down. You don't need to
brag here, Eddie.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
No, I'm not bragging. I'm just telling you, buddy, I
got a lot of friends, got a lot of places.
But here's the stipulation. You gotta bring one person, which
if you come, you gotta break Coop.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Get you why, just funny, Just pay for Coop and
then he can go there you go, you can hang
out with Coop.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
I want you guys in Memphis, Man, big guy, you
come over with that mind and we get old taboy
fan down from from Texas. Ups. Maybe we may may
can't bring his rout to Tennessee, but that'd be fun.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Dude, we'll Eddie. You want to go hang out with
Sir scratch Off. He's gonna pay for our travel to
go there in August to Memphis. Yeah, he just said
he Well.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
This is good. I thought he was from Arkansas.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Well, it's right across the way there, it's not.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
I'm forty five minutes from Big Daddy. Man. I know
where big guy's at because I had to take a
test years ago before I started driving to go to
work with, you know, be a manager with Kroger. And
I passed and I said hell with that, and I
got out start driving, So I know where he's at.
Members I believe it's the same Kroger.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
All right, well, all right, listen, Well we'll consider it.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
You know, Eddie's adeve over there, so he might have
some demands. I don't know what he's got, but man, we'll.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
Get over money wise down here. We'll get autographs on
y'all have good time.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Oh boy, Coop, that sounds like they want to do
a like a liar, liar event or something there. Coop,
you want to go to Arkansas in August? Coop, I'm good.
Coop says he doesn't want to go. He says he's
not interested.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
I'm not lockout him on the phone. Guys, I'm a
good nuture dude.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
It's not that. Uh okay, Well, I'm down. I'll go.
I'd love to go. That being said, I do have
a close friend that did move to Arkansas for some reason,
so we're probably a little cheaper there. You're your friends
with Sir scratcherw No, all right, listen, I'm down. You
got to convince Eddie. I'm I'm good. I would do it.
I don't think I haven't.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
Oh yeah, that's definitely more where my son moves.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Oh there, you got Coop. Your buddy could be friends
with Sir scratch Ow's son.
Speaker 4 (23:57):
He draws he draws out, you know, and then also
play softball all weekend. But like I said, we have
a great time.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
We would have a good time. I think it would
be fun. I'd love to do it. I'm going to
Minnesota next week. I'll be there next Saturday. We're doing
a meet and greet for those that don't know about
it yet in Minnesota, it's all on social media.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Ticket sports Jones Burrow and why are you introduced some wrestlers?
And there's a couple of runs of the radio station
over you know, works during nighttime. So Randy Hales and
Jimmy Hart we have a good time. Brother.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Oh Jimmy, Now, Jimmy Hart. That's a name that resonates.
Jimmy Hart.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
Well, I've known him for a while. Man, I've known
him for probably about ten years.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
And even even Eddie knows, you know, j Mouthcolm South Yeah, yeah,
the megaphone. All right, thank you? How old do you think, Jimmy?
He's got to be. He was old when I was
a kid. He's got to be old now I'm old
now he must be he's old. Sixties, I think seventies.
I gotta think seventies. He's seventy nine years old. Oh
(24:54):
my god, God, we're getting old. Holy crap, how did
that happen?
Speaker 2 (24:58):
All right, man, old, We're not getting We're not getting old.
Speaker 5 (25:03):
Old.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
That sucks, man. Anyway, that beats the alternative. We got
to convince you, Eddie, We got to convince you go
eat some Arkansas barbecue, Memphis barbecue. Hang out.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
I've been to Memphis before. He didn't like it.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
I was almost arrested at the Memphis airport years ago.
So I could I could go back. No, they double booked.
I had uh the I was flying for work and
we stopped. There was no direct flights. It was when
Cleveland was playing Miami in the World Series. There were
no direct flights, so I had to stop in Memphis.
And the company had paid for a first class ticket,
(25:38):
but they double booked the first class ticket and I
was in the seat, and so then there were the
flight attendants like, you got to get out of the seat.
And I'm like, I'm not getting I have the ticket,
there's the ticket. I'm in the right seat, and they said, no,
you gotta get they they double booked it, and I said,
I'm not getting out of the seat. And then some big,
you know, means police guy got out on the plane.
(25:59):
So I got out of this. Why'd you get to
but why did you have to get on the seat?
If you have to guess the guy was a I
don't know. He must have they knew who the guy was.
He must traveled a lot more than I was a
kid at the time, so I don't. I don't really know.
He must have worked for the airline or somebody. That's
my theory on it, because why, yeah, I was in
there first. It's like first come, first serve, I thought,
(26:20):
But you should have sued. Yeah, I missed out a
lot of money.
Speaker 5 (26:24):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Hey, it's Ben, host of The Fifth Hour with Ben
Maller along with my trustee sidekick David Gascon. Would mean
a lot to have you join us on our weekly
auditory journey. You're asking, what in God's name is the
Fifth Hour? I'll tell you it's a spin off of
The Ben Maler Show, a cult hit overnights on FSR.
Why should you listen? Picture if you will a world will.
We chat with captains of industry in media, sports, and
(26:52):
more every week explore some amazing facts about human nature
and more. Listen to The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get
your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
In the NHL, we actually had a couple of suspensions
handed down from the Vegas series going on against Edmonton.
Alex Petrangelo of Vegas received a one game suspension for
a two headed slash to the arm of Eiler star
Leon dry Saddle. Then afterwards there was a fight involving
Edmondson defenseman Darneell Nurse, and he got suspended because he
(27:23):
instigated a fight in the final few minutes of the game.
That's it's a rule they put in a few years
back in the NHL to try and prevent those, you know,
those staged fights they used to call him back in
the wall.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Yeah, I love those. When I covered hockey, like a
minute in they dropped.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
The gloves and yeah, yeah, yeah. But the thing is
he got actually got challenged to the fight, if you
believe some of the reports. So he was just, you know,
kind of got screwed over there. So a couple of
key players not going to play in the next game
of game five of that series.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
All right, fun fact, you're in the Mets. I love
I love flogging a dead horse, or in this case,
a dead Met. So the that's last season were shut
out eight times all season. It is Friday, May twelfth,
and the Mets have been shut out seven times already
this season, seven times. And I saw on sny they
(28:14):
interviewed Francisco, then Door, the big player they got a
couple of years ago Late of Cleveland, and Lindor was
asked why the Mets keep getting shut out? And he said,
hats off to all the teams that shut us out.
That's all I got. I wish I had an answer
for that one. I bet you do. I bet you do.
And since we're piling on Mets, how about former Mets
(28:36):
where Jacob Degram. Even though the Rangers are having a
surprisingly good season, Jacob de Gram he on for at
least another couple of weeks, probably another month with elbow inflammation.
De Gram is up to his altars. He's in mid
season form, mid season form for the Rangers. Let's go
(28:58):
to Jed who fled Hell. Hello Jed who fled in Florida?
Hello Jay.
Speaker 6 (29:05):
I'm not sure you're still looking for Amanda from the
first hour, But how about there They used to ask me,
like what to do with that page Thomas Lear Thomas
like he's a man. Oh no, that is like an
answer worretiking for and the scratch out forced to buy
me a ticket, dude, he can buy me a ticket
at Florida's Department of corrections, probation, season fines, and I
could get all the information in the East to buy
me a ticket there perfectly.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
You're not allowed to cross state lines though, Is that correct?
You're not allowed to cross state lines?
Speaker 6 (29:31):
Dude, I'm already a criminal because I'm willing to break
these walls. Dude, Warrior, you're you're an idiot anyway.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
Listen.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Oh, by the way, big news here, sir, scratch up
big news. A salsa, the legendary salsa says that we
should go to Memphis. It's chill. You gotta have the barbecue,
all right, I going hour really like going.
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Listen, listen if we ment hippies now that head of
this ready, man, I love you.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Oh you want to you want to play the you
want to play the wet. You want to be in
the weed man's here. You want to be pretend to
be weed man.
Speaker 6 (30:00):
I'm saying I've not obliterated as many weeks weeks since
Branch as he is, as I say my way through
the statement, So I mean it makes a point.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
Yeah, all right, hold.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
On, say hey, hold on, if he's not there, you'll
be my weed man. Okay, I'm serious.
Speaker 6 (30:16):
I've never show I'm saying it all the time. You
know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
All right, hold on, sake, hold on, I'll put you on. No,
I'll put you on hold. And then I don't know
if weed Man's called in or not. I don't think
he's gonna call it. And he told me his phone
wasn't working on the phone, which is which is just wonderful.
My phone does not working. You're talking on the phone, dummy. Anyway,
all right, it is the Bean Mallards Show and we're
gonna have the aforementioned Big Bend's Lame Jokes of the Week.
(30:42):
This portion of the show brought to you by Progressive Insurance.
Progressive makes bundling easy and affordable. Get a multi policy
discount by combining your motorcycle, RV, boat, a TV, and
more all your protection in one place, wonder Land save
at Progressive dot Com. Big Ben's Lame Jokes of the Week.
We get to that for the rest of the hour,
and we'll do it it.
Speaker 5 (31:01):
Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
the nation. Catch all of our shows at Foxsports Radio
dot com and within the iHeartRadio app. Search FSR to
listen live.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Calling all Malur Militia foot soldiers. We need your helping
hand to gain new recruits By posting and tagging Malar
Show related content on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and all social networks.
You are the special ingredient needed to influence others to
join our mysterious nocturnal platoon known as the Benmallor Show
at al Live, letyrac dot com, Fox Sports Radio Studios.
(31:33):
It's Ben Maller.
Speaker 5 (31:38):
Knock knock, who's there? Blame week? Blame week too. It's
Big Ben's lame joke of the week.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
We can not afford to get that s added on.
It's lame jokes of the week. These are actual jokes
sending by actual listeners of the show like yourself, and
you can send your jokes care of benmahlorshow at gmail
dot com. Ben Malors at gmail dot com. Make sure
you put jokes in the headline. That way I know
(32:05):
to read this email with the jokes in them and
prepare them. You gotta get the jokes in by early
in the day on on Thursday, as we do the
show Thursday night in a Friday morning, which he is
right now. So here we go. Let's go lame jokes.
Do we have weed? Man is he there, Cooper Loop, No,
he is not. He is not there. All right, we
have a weed man replacement. We have Jed who fled?
(32:27):
Are you there? Jed? Make me laugh?
Speaker 2 (32:34):
All right, here we go.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
What did Lizzo say when asked what she had planned
for dinner?
Speaker 2 (32:40):
Eddie, I don't know what.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
She said, everything is on the table. She said, everything
is on the table. That's a surfer Todd the comedian.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
You're a filling weed man.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
A little late, Yeah, timing, that's surfer Todd the comedian
who said he's traveling through Baja California and it will
either be the greatest time of his life or he
will be decapitated. He said, either one. He's okay with
story number two. What do you call Lizzo standing on
a table?
Speaker 2 (33:12):
I don't know what. Do you call it?
Speaker 1 (33:13):
A counterweight?
Speaker 6 (33:16):
Well?
Speaker 1 (33:16):
No, see that you were too soon on that one.
You were you jumped again? A counterweight? That's from just
Josh in Cincinnati. Did you hear that Lizzo is excited
to meet the King and the Queen?
Speaker 6 (33:29):
No?
Speaker 2 (33:29):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Yeah, she said. Since she's a little girl, she's always
loved burger King and dairy Queen She's always loved them.
Speaker 6 (33:35):
That's Brendan ben I love Darry Queen.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Brendan from Boston sent that one in weed Man sounds
a little different this week. I don't know why. How
do you get Lizzo to rise up for an occasion?
Speaker 2 (33:50):
I don't know how you preheat to.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Four hundred degrees and goes to golden brown there, apparently
from just Josh. I don't know what tell that is?
And Cincinnati? How kind is Lizzo? I don't know how
kinds is Lisa there? Weed Man? Is Lisa there? Okay?
Hi Lisa? How kind is Lizzo? She she'll give you, well,
(34:21):
this is a disaster. She will give you the shirt
off her back, which you can use as a car cover.
Eddie as a car cover in Roseville, Minnesota. This is
from Tony in the Bay, so everyone needs to laugh
at it. Why should Lizzo open a produce market?
Speaker 2 (34:39):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Whoopie Pie Blair says she's got great melons according to
Whoopie Pie Blair. Okay, do you ever find your teeth there?
Weed Man? Okay?
Speaker 6 (34:55):
What?
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Why doesn't weed Man have to walk far to use
the toilet? I don't know why Oh, his pants are
right there, eddie. Why would he want to walk to retire?
So surfer Todd the comedian, Oh, I'm sorry about that.
Did you know that sometimes weed Man gets a meal
that really sticks to his ribs?
Speaker 2 (35:18):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Yeah, those are the mice that he pulls out of
the glue traps. They're really fimming the Hillbilly Mike and
he jokes over there, Koper loop. No, no, you're just
laughing at us drowning here. No, no life preserver, You're
just watching me drown here with the fiat. Okay. Why
(35:42):
why does weed Man hippie love weddings?
Speaker 2 (35:45):
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Two words eddie free rice, free rice Eddie. That's Chris
in des Moines. Apparently weed Man is living in a
really old home.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
Oh is that right?
Speaker 6 (36:00):
And then why a his fleet as a mess?
Speaker 4 (36:04):
Scared shadows.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
The answer? A right, Well, I think we're good. Thank you,
thank you, fake we man. Uh yeah, even the mice
there are a little long in the tooth, Eddie. That's
the answer to the joke's course of Big Ben's lame
jokes of the week. Why was weed Man happy that
they found his teeth clogging the toilet drain.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
I don't know. Why was he happy?
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Because they were cleaner than when he lost them, Eddie,
they were cleaner than when he lost them. That's from
our pal Chip in Maine, who sent that one in.
It's Big Ben's lame jokes of the week. And why
was weed Man upset after he received free tickets to
a Marlins game?
Speaker 2 (36:46):
I don't know why would be upset by that?
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Well, he's offended because they gave him box seats, Eddie,
and he had PTSD. He got upset by that, I said,
Just Josh who sent that one in. It's Big Ben's
lame jokes of the week. Did you know that weed
Man is a huge fan of carnivals?
Speaker 2 (37:03):
I didn't. I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Yes, his his favorite Eddy is well Fair. He's a
big thing, enjoys it very much. That's from just Josh
in Cincinnati. Any jokes over there, Coop anything? No? All right?
Why is weed Man moving to Oakland?
Speaker 2 (37:20):
Plenty of room for him there?
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Yeah, well here the coliseum will soon be empty. So
he thought he might even earth in Kansas? Who sent
that one in? I'd see page enough weed Man jokes.
He's not even here? Uh can't read that on the air.
We'll skip over that. What's the difference between Roberto cooking
and blind Scott cooking.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
I don't know what's the difference.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Well, Roberto can actually look up his recipes. See that's
the difference.
Speaker 5 (37:49):
That's Kurt.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Kurt from Earth sent that one in and all right, police,
here's a here's a story we didn't talk about. Police
arrested four people for Jose Altuve on opening day and
apologized for taking so long.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Is that right?
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Yeah, they were busy investigating the jewelry theft Altuve and
the Astros committed at the World Series. That's from George
in Rochester, Minnesota. And I think that's it there. It is.
Lame jokes of the week. Thank you all. Send them
in again next week, same time, same station, but better jokes.
Host
Ben Maller
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