Hour 3 - Just In Time

Ben Maller talks about MLB divorcing from ESPN with Rob Manfred saying they were upset with the minimal coverage, Vlad Guerrero Jr. liking a photoshop of him in a Yankees uniform, Lame Jokes of the Week, and more!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Omaha, oh maha. We call it audible. It's our name.
Birth three hour three is piping hot on this twenty
first day of February, and a happy Friday to you.
Major League Baseball is divorcing itself from ESPN or is
it ESPN saying goodbye to Major League Baseball? Well, Rob
Manford says it was upset or baseball was upset with

(00:24):
the minimal coverage. So who looks worse in this deal?
Who looks worse? Also, Vladimir Guerrero Junior liked a photoshop
of him in a Yankee uniform, even though in the
past he said he never wanted to play for New
York what's that about? And Aaron Boone given a contract
extension with the Bronx Bombers. What's his secret? As the

(00:44):
Yankees were fundamentally flawed in the World Series loss to
the Dodgers. And Justin Verlander wants Major League Baseball to
put rules in to save starting pitching. Is there a
chance of that happening? We'll talk about that as well.
All of it's coming your way right now and including
lame jokes. It's our number three, just in time, just

(01:07):
in time for the start of spring training, Major League
Baseball getting some really bad news, really bad news financially.
Welcome in the beginning of another hour of the Ben
Malor Show. We are in the air avare as we sculpt,

(01:31):
our takes we do, and we know there's definitely something
in it. We don't know what it is, but there's
something there. Coast to coast, border to border and beyond.
On the vast and muscularly powerful microphones of fs are
amminating live from frogs croaking in the lagoon, which means
rain will come real soon. We're broadcasting live from the

(01:52):
tyraq dot com studios tyract dot com. We'll help you
get there and unmatched, unmatched selection and fast, free shipping,
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tyrack dot com. The Way Tire Buying show b Yeah,

(02:13):
big number there, ten thousand. It's the way to go,
absolutely and I know that Clug a big fan, big
fan of that, our guy, Clug, So our lead this
hour is from baseball. We'll get back to the hockey talk.
Canada beat tam USA in overtime. Connor McDavid, the greatest

(02:35):
player in hockey with the game winning kill shot as
Canada wins the Four Nations tournament there and the crowd
goes wild, but not in Boston. So our lead this
hour is from baseball. Some big news out of spring training,
not involving the Dodgers and Cubs and that new replay
thing they're experimenting with in the Cactus League in the

(02:55):
Great Fruit League. But if you have not heard yet,
we learned that Major League Baseball and ESPN are dun
skies as partners as business partners. Now. The reporting says
that ESPN and Major League Baseball mutually agreed to opt
out of their rights deal. Now they're doing this three

(03:16):
years early. And this is a relationship depending how old
you are. If you're like thirty five years old or younger,
your entire life, Major League Baseball has been on the
Entertainment and Sports Network out of Bristol, Connecticut, So this
goes back a minute thirty five years now. In a
memo to team owners, the Weasley Commissioner, Rob Manford said

(03:38):
the league has not been pleased with the minimal coverage
Major League Baseball receives on the Entertainment and Sports Network
outside of live game coverage. So Baseball is attempting to say, hey,
we don't like your coverage, and so this is what
we're doing. So let us discuss the question. We know
there's a divorce taking place here and Baseball and the

(04:02):
entertainment and sports network are going their separate ways. Rob
Manford claiming he's upset because of the coverage, But what's
really going on here? And who looks worse in all
of this? So I have pink, artificial sweetener, and jet blue,
and we will combine all of these things together and

(04:24):
we will do a seance. We'll do a reading, a
table reading seance. So, first of all, to answer the question,
who looks worse than this? The arrow is clearly pointing
at the Commissioner's office in midtown Manhattan, Rob Manford, and
he's out there complaining about the minimal coverage. And he's said, well,

(04:45):
they cover over there, they cover the NFL and the
NBA a lot more than they cover us. Now, while
that is true, While that is true, it is also irrelevant.
It's spin, spin, spin. Rob Manford's trying to position this
as a good thing for Major League Baseball. It's damage control.
Major League Baseball's marketing people have done a crap job

(05:08):
at creating stars who are interesting. There are plenty of
stars in Major League Baseball. They just don't carry over
to sports talk radio and they don't carry over to
sports television because they're dull. All Right, that's the ugly
part that nobody wants to talk about, right, we're saying
the quiet part out loud. And so Aaron Judge is

(05:29):
amazing for the Yankees, and show Hail Tani's outstanding for
the Dodgers. They're both great stars, but there's nothing they
do that is mildly interesting away from the field. Nothing Right, Like,
the other day there was a story Otani ended up
on TMZ because he couldn't parallel park. That's the kind
of stuff that we're getting. Okay, that's not a lot

(05:51):
of meat on the bone. It's not. And so that's
part of the problem. Now, regardless of that, you think
about the people over there in Bristol, Connecticut, and that
network pretty much exists at this point for some kind
of like woke propaganda and live sports. That's it. And yet,
if you take a couple of steps back and you

(06:11):
look across the Serengetti, what's really going on here is
ESPN essentially has given Major League Baseball a metaphorical pink slip.
You're fired, your fired, right, something they would never ever consider.
Could you imagine if any other broadcast network said, you know,
we want to get out of this NFL contract three
years early, or we want to get out of this

(06:33):
NBA contract three years early. No, no one would ever
do that. That would be blasphemy. You couldn't possibly do it.
So instead they're doing it with Baseball, and Baseball is
doing the walk of shame, and so they're trying to
spin spin, spin there. There's nothing mutual about this. There's
nothing because Major League Baseball is taking it in the

(06:53):
shorts on this. ESPN was overpaying five hundred and fifty
million dollars year for baseball rights, and they actually undercut
major League Baseball, undercut that contract because they sold separate
media rights deals to the streamers like Apple and Roku,
which are worth a fraction of what they're getting from

(07:19):
the entertainment and sports network, so thus devaluing with inflation
the deal that was not. And so despite the changing landscape,
and I have experienced that the last couple of years,
with people cutting the cord and television in general, it's
a much a different world than when I grew up.
So everything's changed, right, There's not as many people paying

(07:40):
for television. It's not readily available, and so the numbers
you can make go down. But Rob Manford and the
people in baseball, they were unwilling to work with Bally's
sports people. They are unwilling to negotiate a lower deal
with the people in Connecticut, and so now they're going

(08:03):
to find themselves having to scrambled. We'll see how much
money they get. I would be stunned if they get
anywhere close to five hundred and fifty million dollars per year.
Now I realized that Amazon's got money to burn, and
then the Netflix and all these different places. But that's
a ton of dough when you look at the numbers
and who's actually watching these games. Now, Secondly, we go

(08:26):
to Toronto, where the baseball is bad, but the drama
is somewhat good. Here, Blue Jays star Vladimir Guerrero Junior,
he made some headlines, went viral. Now why did he
go viral? Because he clicked the like button on the
gram He liked an Instagram photo of himself in a
New York Yankee road uniform. So, Vladier Guerrero randomly, randomly

(08:51):
liking a photoshop of him in the Yankee laundry. Yankee laundry,
What is that all about? So this is a business decision.
That is my answer. Business decision. Vladdie famously said a
couple of years back that he would never sign with
the Yankees, not even dead. Of course, no one's signing

(09:12):
with the Yankees when they're dead, because you're dead. You
can't sign when you're dead. You're dead. Dead doesn't sign
that dead votes. And we learned this week that dead
also collects Social Security, but you can't sign anything. So
what changed? So Vladdy Guerrero told reporters this week that
he and the jays men we're talking about the other day,
they didn't reach an agreement. He made an artificial self

(09:35):
imposed deadline spring training. No deal was done. So that
means he's going to hit the market in twenty twenty
five after the World Series. So that makes this part
of the story. The clicking of the like button on
the Yankee uniform. It makes it an artificial sweetener, is
what it makes like. He's fanning the flames to artificially

(09:58):
sweeten market. And you want a bidding war and Vladi
Guerrero needs the Yankees to drive up the price with
the Mets and the Dodgers and the Red Sox, and
I had just explained to me years ago, and they're like, well,
you know, if you're a big ticket item in baseball,

(10:22):
even if you hate New York and everything New York's about,
and you just can't handle the volume of people that
are in Manhattan and in that area in general, you
have to play the game of pretending that you like
it to get them to big And there's a famous
story of a guy for the Red Sox who hated

(10:45):
playing in Boston, didn't like Finway Park, but they offered
him a ton of money, so he signed the contract
and he just kind of bit his tongue and did
his time and made his money and then that's it
all right now. Meanwhile, speaking of the Yankees, as we
were in Boone, Aaron Boone was given a contract extension.
I saw big Greg and Iowa wanted some hot takes

(11:07):
on this Yankees signing Aaron Boone to a two year extension.
So what is Aaron Boone's secret? He said, well, they're
in the World Series, but then won the World Series.
They were in the World Series, and I would see
one of the most embarrassing moments in Yankee history in
my lifetime was in Game five of the World Series
when it looked like the Yankees were a little league team,

(11:29):
that was a poorly coached baseball team by Aaron Boone.
And you're rewarding Aaron Boone with another contract extension. So
there's a couple of things that Aaron Boone has going
for him. The biggest one is he follows directions. He's
also a smooth talker with the media, and that's important. However,

(11:49):
the biggest thing is that Aaron Boone. It's like he's
a puppet, a sock puppet, and he just does that's
whatever Brian Cashman and his army of nerds tell him
to do. He's got his little three ring binder and
that's it. He files along all right, now, final fut

(12:09):
to the Bay Area. We go the Bay Area. That
is where Giant Starter and former cheating as one one
thousand and two, one thousand hole Justin Verlander. Verlander is
now in the Bay Area. He's I believe, forty two
years young and about as old as Methusela. So Justin
Verlander publicly calling for a rule change in Major League Baseball. Verlandrew,

(12:35):
who has a shot if he pitches till he's fifty
to win five hundred games. I think he's at four
to sixty two. But he'd have to pitch at least
three more years to get to to five hundred and
stay somewhat healthy. But anyway, Verlander's calling for a rule
change in Major League Baseball that would force starting pitchers
to pitch longer into games and decrease the increased reliant

(13:00):
on bullpens. Berlanders said, quote, he told Bob Knight and go,
I think there needs to be rules put in place.
He now hygante pitchers said, it's the only way that
you can put the gen back in the bottle. Yet
you want to have some marquee pitchers who last more
than five years, You're going to have to change the rules.

(13:21):
You got to make the teams adjust. It's going to
get worse. Both quote all right, So question for the
esteem panel. Justin Verlander he wants Major League Baseball to
put rules into save starting pitching. Is there a chance
of that happening? So there are two chances of that happening.

(13:44):
There's there's slim and none and if you look over
at the Jet Blue counter at the airport, there Slim's
waiting on standby to say bye bye. And here's why.
The most important thing is, there's no financial incentive devaluing
starting pitching. You keep pitching salaries artificially down, and that's

(14:06):
good for the business of baseball. You don't have to
pay that front line above the marquee starting pitcher big
time money, which is important. There's something else going on here,
like what would the rule be? Like a number of
people have said that from in on. What I've heard
scuttle butt is if you were to put a rule in,
it would be the starting pitcher has to go at

(14:26):
least five innings, and if your starting pitcher comes out
prior to that, you lose access to the designated hitter.
So if you had Aaron Judge as your designated hitter
and dhing that day and then the Yankee pitcher Garrett Cole,

(14:47):
went like three and two thirds innings or something like that,
and you took Cole out, Judge would have to come
out of the game. Now, the counter argument is, well,
people pay money to watch Aaron Judge. They don't pay
money to watch hit a pitcher hit, and then if
pitchers start hitting, it becomes a problem. And then the
counter to that is, well, pitchers would never actually hit.
You just have to run through your pinch hitters, and
you'd have to move players around and all that. And

(15:08):
the other thing to remember is that the people who
have a choke hold on the game outside of the
ownership class, they all reside from the same little village.
It's Dorksville, USA. And these are the people responsible for
bastardizing starting pitching in baseball. And it's all analytics. And

(15:29):
because you can always say anything goes wrong in baseball.
In the old days, if you made a decision based
on a gut feel and it didn't work out, you
would be called out. Oh my god, it's the worst thing.
If you make a decision in modern baseball and it
doesn't work out, there were these idiots that will sympathize

(15:49):
with you so well. They followed the analytics. They did
the right thing right, And analytics tells you what has happened,
not what's going to happen, and it discounts the human
element to arrive at a decision. And that's a big
part of the problem with the arithmetic. It is the
Ben Mahlor Show as we are working our way through

(16:11):
the overnight hours. If you'd like to join us, it's
a line open for you at eight seven seven ninety
nine on Fox. That's eight seven seven nine nine six
sixty three sixty nine. Also on the X Machine at
Ben Mahlor. That's at Ben Mahler. If you want to
be part of a said program, that's right. I know,

(16:33):
I know you're excited. Well. Time now for the Malor
Riddle of the Day. That's right, the Mallar Riddle of
the day, and it actually involves baseball. So here it is.
You can answer this appropriately. On X Aaron Boone said
the Yankees had an ice cream truck visit spring training
and guys were playing blank Again. Early spring training, Aaron

(16:56):
Boone said, the Yankees had an ice cream truck come
by and visit the camp for the players, and the
guys were playing blank. That is the Mailor Riddle of
the day. The answer, We'll get to it and we
will do it next.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Mallor
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
Bill Miller and you. It is the Ben Mahler Show
up all night, every night podcast every day even on
the weekends. The Fifth Hour podcast will be going up
later today. And as a listener to the Overnight Hours Live,
you have an advantage. What is that advantage? You can
actually participate. It is an interactive, all inclusive experience. Now

(17:49):
how do you interact? You can call in and have
your voice heard on hundreds of radio stations around North
America and the world on the American Forces Network. Send
a message in on the phones at eight seven, seven
ninety nine on Fox. Also on X that's right on Act.
You can say hello there at Ben Maller. That's at

(18:11):
Ben Mallard. Follow Ben on there and Lorraine Ah gets
more male than Santa Claus, FSR tech, Queen FSR Tech,
Queen Cooper loop Ah, Bronco fan, that's uh, Bronco fan.
Lame jokes coming up later this hour. But now back
to Benny Blabermouth. Well are we are blabbering Bill? And

(18:36):
right now it is time for the always popular, always
stimulating Riddle of the Day. Manager Aaron Boone said the
Yankees had an ice cream truck visit spring training and
the the guys were able to play blank. That is
the riddle of the day. What is the answer to

(18:59):
the riddle of the day? Where about to find out?
And we'll go to the great Unwashed here to see
what they have to say. Johnny Q says, play doctor.
Who else do you have? Page down? Checkers? From legally
blind Christopher Naked twister tossed out by mister irrigation. That'd
be quite the spring training. Yeah. Mark in Santa Monica

(19:19):
says they were playing who could eat the most sprinkles?
Oh yeah, hopscotch from JT the wing Man trekor Joe
must think that we are doing a podcast only and
not on the radio if he thinks I can say
that on the air. Who else do we have? Page down?
The guys were playing practologists with Stevie meatballs. Timothy from

(19:43):
Northern Kentucky says chasing each other trying to shove ice
cream in each other's noses. Eke in Roseville, Minnesota says
they were playing grab ass is what they were doing?
Hopscotch from Dante? Who else do we have? Page down?
The grill sergeant says the boys were playing automatic baseball
inside that new barber shop they have at the Yankee

(20:05):
Spring Training Facility. Sig Newton's from King Rory playing marbles
tossed out by Jeremy and Minnesota, and we have Andy
and Lino Lakes, Minnesota, says Tittley Winks. Is the answer
page down page. Kicked the can from Milkman Mike in Colorado.

(20:27):
Pin the tail on the Fudgie the whale. That's from
Fudgie in Boston. Play Hide and Seek with Jed who
fled from Alf. That's that's a good photo of Jed.
I don't know how you found that Alf gets out
by you. I always find interesting things. Clam rights In says,
which family member looks like a cookie or something like that?

(20:49):
Playing cribbage for five cents a hole from William h
Q Trivia tossed out by late night drug tester for dog.
I don't think we can say that. Asher says they
were playing Frogger. He's back for the Sony PlayStation. All right,
enough of that, Lorena, you're very good at these questions.

(21:11):
Do you have an answer, Loraina? Yeah, one of my
favorite games hide and go Seek in the dark. Ben
Hi didn't go seek in the dark? Is that correct?
Let's find out. No, the boys were playing competitive cornhole,
competitive cornhole. I am the owner of a corn hole

(21:37):
set that you can play cornhole at the Mallord mansion.
You never saw that, Loraina, because you did not go
in the back. But we did have cornhole set up.
But cornhole not as popular as beer pong, much more
popular than cornhole. I'm a cornhole guy though. I like
the corn hole I do. It's a fun game.

Speaker 3 (21:55):
I like corn on the cob.

Speaker 1 (21:58):
You've never played corn hole. It's an easy game.

Speaker 4 (21:59):
I'm just not good at getting it in.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
Ben.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
Okay, that's the problem. I got you, all right. Well, anyway,
it is the Ben malersh We're gonna have lame jokes
of the week coming up here in a couple of minutes,
and we'll go back to the calls right now, and
let's see any medie miney mo. Let's say hello to
Jason in Calgary. Hello, Jason, welcome, Hey Ben.

Speaker 3 (22:20):
A nice monologue there. That's like the first first hockey
monologue since last spring.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
I think, yeah. And let me point out, Jason, snobby
hockey fans, you shooting talking about hockey. You're not a
hockey guy. They're upset with me. They're upset with me
for talking hockey. They're yelling at me and the and
the messages. They said, what are you doing talking about it?
So I can't win? You guys call up and complain
I don't talk hockey, and then when I talk hockey,

(22:47):
you're complaining I'm talking about hockey. So what am I
supposed to do?

Speaker 3 (22:52):
No? I mean, you put the time in, you practice
their names. You got Connor Hellibuck, right, So no, I
don't counter.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
Know hell Buck. Come on, that's a fun name to say.
That's a great name.

Speaker 3 (23:04):
It is. He's a good one. He's a good one.
But you know, I could and ask you a question.
I don't think this is gonna make Americans start watching
hockey anymore than they are right now. I think it
is definitely the national national team thing. But you know,
I think the biggest thing was the uh the three

(23:24):
fights that they had on Saturday night in the first game.
I think that got everybody excited.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
Oh absolutely, and if you loved it, and and it's
really a lesson for Gary Bettman in hockey. I know
why they got rid of fighting as much as they
could because of liability. But you know, that's what the
customers want, right, that's what they want. They want that
so well yeah.

Speaker 3 (23:48):
I mean yeah, you know, the two things that make
cocky found to get up out of their seats as
a goal and a kind a fight. So you know,
it's just a game. Is so fast now that you
can't really answer that, you know, of those dans and
bears on the sitting on the bench waiting to fitting
to drop the gloves once it came.

Speaker 1 (24:06):
So all right, where's the parade? Jason? Do you have
a parade? Is it going to come through Calgary?

Speaker 3 (24:12):
No, it wasn't that big of a deal. I mean,
I don't think it was that big. We needed it,
we needed it, you know, that Trump, you know, he's
really bringing us down. We're like the Canada's like the enemy.

Speaker 5 (24:22):
Now.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
No, I don't know where that came from and that
yeah Thatt the end, you don't. It's it's all political theater, right,
all political theater, it is, in my opinion, I don't know.
I don't know who knows. Maybe maybe I.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
Think, yeah, well maybe they'll get you know, we got
some Milan Olympics coming up in twelve months, so you know,
hopefully that would get everybody fired up to watch a
little bit of hockey, you know, twelve months from now.
But I do think this tournament, I think it's kind
of winter.

Speaker 1 (24:50):
You know. You know, you can't you got it. You
can't do it every year. It's like one. If you
do what every you're a cheap is that you got
to pick and obviously they're not doing it next year.
You got to pick your spots. So we'll see, we'll
see when how often they do it. But he had
worked with the timing was perfect. Everything lined up in
a row for them, So it's good. Yeah, thank you.
All right, boy, there you go. I'll do another. I'll

(25:10):
do another hockey monologue during the Olympics. Okay, yeah, all right,
get out of here. Let's go to John, who's in Seattle.
What's going on? John? Welcome? John is sleepless in Seattle.

Speaker 5 (25:25):
Listen, please don't hang up.

Speaker 3 (25:27):
Uh, this is James from Edmonton.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
Oh this is not This is not John in Seattle.
This is James. But well, Edmonton and Seattle very close,
unless they're not.

Speaker 4 (25:38):
I hung up on him because he'd lied to me
to get on the air again.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
No, okay, Uh, let's go to Brad who's in Minnesota. Hello,
Brad welcome. Hey, how you doing, Ben Brad? If I
was any better, I would be shocked, but not shakiev
O'Neill because he said he tested positive for cocaine back
in nineteen ninety six, which is fascinating over it.

Speaker 5 (26:03):
I can I can defend the guy. I mean, you know,
he's a big enough guy, can probably defend himself. But
this was actually twenty two years ago. On Wednesday, I
got caught with some flintstone invite him into my pocket,
and so then the courts made me come in and
you know, give samples periodically, and I had been following

(26:25):
the rules. One yeah, I'm going to test you. And
we had to pay for him, and so I did.
I come in there and that morning at seven o'clock.
That morning, I had had two of the chuck Wagon sandwiches,
you know, the great kind you get from the gas
station cooler.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
Sure in the top.

Speaker 5 (26:45):
At eleven o'clock, I tested and get my test. Didn't
think anything of it. Come back in that Monday and
they said you gotta come with us. They go why,
and they go, well, you tested positive for opiates. I go,
what the threshold? What the threshold was? Two hundred was
that two nine and hopey, it's only staying your system
for about four hours?

Speaker 1 (27:04):
Is that right front of judge?

Speaker 5 (27:06):
And I We're in front of the judge, and I says,
I go, I told him, what did happen? He goes,
you would have to eat so many fopy. I go,
you got me in a in a control environment. Now
go get me two chuck Wagon sandwiches and tests me
four hours later. I picked you off. And they would
not do it. I mean, I swear on all the
biking super Bowl you don't have any Super Bowl trophies,
but what if we had any?

Speaker 1 (27:28):
Yeah, I swear to God that.

Speaker 5 (27:29):
I mean, I was playing by the rules.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
And I got, well that's all. That's all right. Well
you see you're Minnesota, nice guy, right, the damn chuck
the chuck Wagons, they took advantage of the chuck Wagon
sandwiches took advantage of you. It's not right, all right?
So you think, well listen, so we have Now I
want you to know we have conflicting reports here because
again that people are saying that you know, the shack's wrong,

(27:53):
and now you're saying, well, this happened to me, so
he's not wrong. And I decide size either.

Speaker 5 (28:01):
But I'm you know, I'm six one twenty probably at
the time I was, and so I mean I'm not
nearly Steck size, you know, eat more.

Speaker 1 (28:09):
But uh yeah, maybe Shaq was eating the chuck Wagon.
Yeah he said he was poppy seed muffins. But I
maybe he went to the gas station in Atlanta and
picked up some some chuck Wagon sandwiches. All right, well,
thank you, you've defended Shaquill O'Neil. Thank you, and uh
there you go. That's funny. And they would not allow
him to to eat the chuck Wagon sandwiches and come back,

(28:30):
would not. All right, let's see who else do we
have pay out about? That is weed Man there by
the way for lame jokes. Do we have him ready
to go or oh he is? All right, he is there,
very nice. I want to bring him on right now.
We'll get that party started. Ello weed Man in Miami.
Yeahs up, weed Man? A're you okay? So like you're busy,

(28:53):
you're futting around with the phone everything? All right? No, boy,
weed Man, you're I wanted to start the segment earlier.
You're not ready to start with I feel like you're
not ready. I feel like you're you're you sure about that?

Speaker 3 (29:13):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (29:14):
You outside? Yeah? How many people do you have? His roommates?

Speaker 5 (29:20):
Oh, get me out of here, Ben, please get me
no place to live?

Speaker 1 (29:26):
What do you got three, three or four people you
live with?

Speaker 2 (29:28):
Well?

Speaker 1 (29:29):
Sure, I can't stand this.

Speaker 5 (29:31):
One guy is here. I just can't stand you.

Speaker 2 (29:33):
Just get me out of you. Get me a place
to live.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
No, that's easy, Sure, no problem, all right, h let's uh,
let's get the parties. We'll do some lizo jokes. Hit
the button in.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
Knock knock, who's there? Blame we blame we too.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
It's Big Ben's lame joke of the week. Then away
we go on lame jokes of the week with weed
Man hippies in Miami. His your name is Billy Blanks,
but he goes by weed Man Hippie. Is that correct
weed Man?

Speaker 2 (30:00):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (30:01):
Yes, because years ago there was this workout guy named
Billy Blanks who became very famous. Yeah, he stole your name. Yeah,
And I did get some messages on social media that
I get this. Every so often. There's a company that
does garden care called weed Man, and people they love it.

(30:24):
They think of you when they see the weed Man logo.
In the back of the truck. Yeah, all right, here
we go.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
These are actual jokes by actual listeners. First one from
Frank and Fargo. He says, what did Lizzo's new boyfriend
get her for Valentine's Day? What a certified truck scale? Well,
a lot of people don't know this. But why is
Luca Donzig a big fan of Lizzo? Why well, he

(30:56):
actually gained all the weight that she lost, so big news. No,
that's George, Georgie and Uvaldi. What Eastern European country did
Lizzo trace her ancestors too? What bulge area? I thought

(31:19):
it was hungry. No, well that's that's Chip. That was
Chip and Mane. What nickname does Lizzo give to the bathroom?
What the Department of Labor? That's Drew. Why was Lizzo
disappointed her new boyfriend could not actually cook? Why well,

(31:42):
it turns out on his dating profile it said he
was pan sexual. That's Eric in Camp.

Speaker 3 (31:51):
All right.

Speaker 1 (31:52):
Why is Disney changing the lyrics to the song It's
a small world after all? Why so they can be
more inclusive and hire Lizzo to write and perform the
news song. It's a fat world after all? That's Benny.
Benny Brightside set that one in how much weight has

(32:13):
Lizzo lost? How much she's lost so much that she
is now known as less so ekeon Roseville, Minnesota. Got
any jokes over there, Coop?

Speaker 4 (32:28):
What do Ben Maller in a toilet have in common?
H okay, ferd dog drops his pants for both?

Speaker 1 (32:41):
Was a loser from Australia? That's something.

Speaker 4 (32:44):
Wally and Tulsa.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
A loser? Wally, you schmuck. I'm gonna find you, Wally,
I'm gonna track you down. Did you hear the judge
throughout Hefty Destroit rapper Dank Demo's lawsuit against Lyft No, Yeah,
lifts lawyers told the judge if she doesn't fit, you
must have quit and worked out. So that's Joe and

(33:08):
Virginia Beach. Thank you Joe. All right, we'll pause for
the cause. Are you Are you still okay? Weed Man,
We'll do another segment of jokes, right, this is your
dream come true. We got a bunch of weed Man
jokes other random jokes as well. These are actual jokes
in and my actual listeners. If you would like to
send a joke in for a future episode of the show.
You can do that care of Benmahler's show at gmail

(33:29):
dot com. That's Benmahlor Show at gmail dot com. Lame
jokes of the week. The comedy club is still open
open mic night. We'll get to it. We'll do it next.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.

Speaker 1 (33:46):
Lie the Lie, Today's Friday, Today's Friday, Today's Friday. Man,
that's a plump pussy right there. Jerk yourself away. Give
me a little taste of that dick. I love you.
Don't worry.

Speaker 3 (34:05):
Don't worry. It's just tay the top.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
Oh yes, yes, yes, that's our path. That's twenty five
thousand dollars our pack. Ben Mallard, the show is over. Goodbye,
Bill Miller and you. It is the Ben Maler Show,
up all night, every single night. And don't forget about

(34:31):
the podcast. That's right. Every little morsel, every little morsel
of this show is available via the podcast to be
going up shortly after we get done. If you missed
any of the latest episode, be sure to check out
the podcast to search mallor wherever you get your pods
and be sure to follow, rate and review the podcast again.

(34:52):
Just search mallord m A L L E R. Wherever
you get your podcast. You'll see the latest episode posted
right after we get off the air. All right, it's
Bill's bed and we bet you there weed Man, weed Man, hippie.

(35:12):
All right, what's your line? Weed Man? That's his line.
We should put that on T shirts. We man, we'd
do it. We need a drawing of you and then
we need that on the shirt. People will buy that.
They'd sell a ton of those things, right, make me laugh.
Remember that drawing you had on on X of you?
That would be perfect, right, yeah, cartoon weed Man. But

(35:35):
you're not on X anymore?

Speaker 5 (35:36):
Right, No, which I gotta get back on.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
You could start a new account. They're free. All right,
here we go. What does Doc Mike yell when he
sees Luka doncic in Laker gold? What he yells?

Speaker 3 (35:53):
Kool aid?

Speaker 1 (35:54):
That's Tony in the Bay Did you hear after his
religious Super Bowl prediction, weed Man has a new nickname.
I what, Yes, you're now known as crack pipe Hippie.
That's from Tony in the Bay Area. What happened the

(36:15):
last time someone told weed Man to pump the brakes.
What weed Man ended up with? Skid marks? Skid marks,
that's a surfer Todd. We gotta get surfer Todd back
in studio. I love Server Time's wife, good people, and
he's a comedian. He goes around and performs. He's a
surfing he's a surfing comedian. Thus the nickname. What is

(36:37):
the only ring that weed Man can't seem to lose?
What the ring around the bathtub? That's chip in ringworms.
He's already he's already got that. But no, this guy,

(36:59):
mister irrigations the ring benefactor and we've been got worn
and they lost it.

Speaker 4 (37:04):
Yeah, I'm supposed to tell you Ben to keep an
eye out for an email from him.

Speaker 1 (37:10):
By the way, Okay, why did all right, why did
weed Man hip it's not about you? Why did we
Man hipp Ea cheer when his old boss yelled at him?
Why because your old boss said you'll never work in
this town again. And you said, yeah, that's right, that's
Eric in Kansas, and you'd hear the laugh track. But

(37:32):
for some reason, you know, did you hear that weed
Man was given an award?

Speaker 5 (37:36):
Why?

Speaker 1 (37:37):
Yeah, yeah, apparently you repurposed your old science projects into
a home. That's true in Minnesota to the laugh track there,
it is all right, but it broke there for seeing
these jokes are so funny. The laugh track broke. What
stamp collection is bigger than the US Postal Service stamp collection?

(37:58):
What weed Man hippie's food stamp collection? That's a that's
a good joke. That's a that's a solid joke from
But Gordon's been sending me jokes. Jordan in Tacoma for
so many years. What a great support of the show.
He is, all right? Dion Sanders said he doesn't need
to visit recruits and have a meal at their home

(38:20):
to get them to come to Colorado. How about that one? Really? Yeah?
He said the food doesn't go to waste. Dion said
he's offered, Uh, he's offered to help. But weed Man
is offered to help the recruits. So you're gonna go
refruit for Colorado? Weed Man? Is that right?

Speaker 5 (38:36):
Definitely right?

Speaker 1 (38:38):
As George in Rochester, Minnesota, I may or may not
have screwed that up. Did you hear about the joke?
Shut up? All right, it's overnight radio. What do you want?
Did did you hear about Luca and his new endorsement deal.
No what yes, Big News here were the only show
that has this. According to George and Ubaldi, Pillsburray has

(38:58):
hired him as the new Doble. So he's the new
Doe boy. That's kind of cute. Actually, did you hear
that weed Man is starting a new nonprofit What? Yeah,
it's called non Workaholics Anonymous. That's a good joke. That's

(39:21):
our buddy Eric in Kansas. So it has also been
with the show for many, many years. Just live in
Iowa's get ties to La? What did Luca? What did
Lucas say after hearing Robbie the Mariner fans pizza order?
What Lucas said, hold my beer is what he said.
That's Tony and the Bar. Who did judge Judy Fank

(39:45):
for watching her show over the NBA All Star Game?

Speaker 3 (39:49):
Who?

Speaker 1 (39:50):
Eddie Garcia? That's a chip in Maine? Well, this is
an offensive joke. Levart Ball had his right foot amputated
sadly recent that crazy? Yeah, so what what what genre
of music does he credit for a successful rehab?

Speaker 3 (40:06):
What?

Speaker 1 (40:07):
Hip hop?

Speaker 3 (40:11):
There?

Speaker 1 (40:11):
It is lame jokes? So how's Betty Bryside. Lame jokes
of the Week