March 4, 2025 • 36 mins
Healing by Remembering: Overcoming Trauma and Sin
Join us today as we explore the importance of remembering our personal pain and triumphs, focusing on how past trauma and unwanted behaviors are connected. We will look at the Israelites and Peter to explore how God helps us remember and heal. A few key points for this episode include practical steps on dealing with trauma, the significance of community, and finding hope through suffering. Tune in for a journey toward deeper healing and understanding.
00:00 Introduction: Understanding Struggles
01:31 The Israelites' Journey and Forgetfulness
05:10 The Importance of Remembering Pain and Grief
09:16 Understanding Trauma and Its Impact
17:15 Healing Through Community and Faith
29:36 The Role of Sin and Redemption
33:45 Conclusion and Prayer
Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole
👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
James Craig (00:00):
Your sexual struggles are not accidental.
Your mental health strugglesare not random.
Your outcomes are not arbitrary.
Today I'm joined by AaronTaggart, one of our spiritual
coaches here at Regeneration.
Welcome, Aaron.
Aaron Tagart (00:17):
Hey, good to be on as usual.
James Craig (00:21):
Yeah, we're continuing this series.
We're in number three of ourRemember series.
This idea of God remembers us.
We remember things and Godremembers us.
He puts us back together.
If you're watching on YouTube,you'll see me putting my hands
together, and so we wanted totalk about this idea today,
(00:41):
related to especially ourunwanted sexual behavior, but
also all these other types ofstruggles sometimes mental
health or other outcomes withour behaviors that these things
aren't random, and the idea hereis that you are what you forget
, that our minds, our brainshold a lot, and if we are quick
(01:03):
to forget our past or thingswe've been through, it impacts
us.
So there are things going on.
In other words, there arethings going on that you might
not be aware of that areimpacting you.
It can be called implicitmemory.
I saw a podcast from Adam Young,who has an incredible podcast
called the Place we FindOurselves, about how implicit
(01:25):
memory has a significant impacton us, especially as we're
trying to get whole and heal.
So we want to start.
We've been looking some throughthe Old Testament as we've been
going through this, and we wantto start with the Israelites,
aaron.
It feels like the Israelitesare so quick to forget what they
(01:46):
had just been through wherethey were for hundreds of years
and the prayers they prayed toget out of there.
Aaron Tagart (01:53):
Yeah, yeah, man, so, so quick to forget, and it's
almost mind-bending how quicklythat they could forget, bending
how quickly that they couldforget.
You know, I mean in earlyexodus they are crying out, uh,
(02:14):
and the lord hears their cry,right, and I think it's exodus 3
, when god kind of commissionsmoses to go free his people, um
and so and so, and, and it saysin there that you know, I have
heard, you know the cries of mypeople Um and so, and so these
are the same people who end upin the wilderness, you know,
(02:38):
freed from Egypt's um rule, and,and you know, slavery and and
all of that, right, and so thereare actually about seven
different times where theIsraelites are grumbling, uh,
between Exodus, chapters 11 and21.
James Craig (02:57):
And that's like right after they got free, right
Didn't they get free?
And was it nine or 10 orsomewhere in there, somewhere
close?
Aaron Tagart (03:03):
Yeah, I mean, I think they cross the river and
there's like a complaint, likethey're scared, like something's
going to happen to them.
You know that Pharaoh's afterthem and and all of that, right,
and so it's.
It begins like you know, almostimmediately, um, and then it
hits you know some human kind ofneeds.
You know they, they're hungry,you know they, they're hungry,
(03:24):
you know they're tired, they'reall these things Right.
And I think, when I think aboutyou know, our, our listeners,
right, and the times where youknow, you know acting out might
take place because of we'rehungry or we're tired, or you
know, there's almost this kindof equation of we're forgetting.
You know, in those moments weit's so easy to forget because I
(03:44):
think of the human uh element,right, and so just really
interesting that you knowthere's this kind of idea of you
know they're, they're cryingout, um, and complaining, and
and sadly, as a result, you knowthat they didn't get to enter
the promised land.
You know the Lord freed themfrom slavery and the intention
(04:08):
was that they would become, theywould enter, you know, into the
promised land, but they had towait a generation, so that group
had to continue to live in thewilderness.
Because really I think what itboils down to is they weren't
trusting God, and they didn'ttrust him for the small things
(04:32):
and they didn't trust him forthe big things, and that lack of
trust in what the Lord wasdoing kind of kept them in the I
call it the in-between neitherhere nor there.
They remained kind of in thatwilderness in the in-between.
James Craig (04:52):
It's almost like they weren't ready, like just
knowing how merciful God is andI know sometimes when we read
the Old Testament it can seemlike God is pretty harsh with
them.
But knowing his character ismerciful, his character is
defined by love.
There undoubtedly had to be amercy in them not being ready.
So part of what happens is andwe talked about this last week
(05:13):
with Kyle God started teachingthem hey, make Ebenezers, make
these structures with stonesafter they finally did cross in
another generation later intothe promised land.
Make these things to remember.
And so one way we could say itis guys, remember your pain from
slavery, don't forget what youjust came out of.
Remember one way we could seethis as an application,
(05:35):
especially for those dealingwith unwanted sexual behavior
remember the despair you feltafter the last time you gave in.
Now I'm not saying becomedespairing, but remember it was
painful.
It was more painful thanwhatever pain we're struggling
to face that might lead us backinto it.
And also thinking aboutbetrayed wives, thinking about
(05:57):
future generations.
Remember them, remember thepain or betrayed husbands.
Remember the pain and rememberthe pain or betrayed husbands.
Remember the pain and rememberthe legacy you want to pass down
.
But the other thing that Ithink that they didn't remember.
They didn't remember to grieve.
Now, this is a little bit ofconjecture, we don't for sure
know this, but there seems to bethis idea of they're not taking
(06:22):
the time the way we see allthroughout the Psalms.
Most of them were not writtenin the time of the Exodus, most
of them were written under KingDavid.
There were a couple from Moses,but Moses actually, in his
amazing Psalm, psalm 90, he doestalk about remembering his
grief and pain.
But I wonder how much theIsraelites struggled to grieve,
to process, to lament theslavery, because if you're that
(06:45):
ready to jump right back into it, just like we are with
pornography or other sexualstruggles, it's.
It shows that maybe we haven'treally remembered or processed
or lamented, but we had just putourselves through yeah, yeah,
we spoke more in depth aboutgrief and lament.
Aaron Tagart (07:05):
To start the new year in complaining to the Lord
about and actually like that ispart of lament is complaining.
But I think the complainingthat the Israelites are doing is
(07:35):
more kind of trivial, more onthe human side, like hey, like
you know we're hungry, you knowwhat are we going to eat.
It would have been better forus to stay there and at least
have our these needs met andstill be in those conditions,
right, and it's like, are youkidding me?
Like you're the same peoplethat were crying out to to be
free from that and you want togo back over some bread, uh, or
(07:59):
you know, because of you'rehungry.
So you know, uh, you, you knowprocessing that through crying
out, through you know thatmovement, uh, of lament which
ends back on that trustingreally in god, um, and and maybe
that's the difference.
James Craig (08:15):
Maybe grumbling is this distrust, this despair,
it's lack of hope, this lack oflove.
Yeah, maybe lament has has somemixture of those ingredients
faith, hope and love mixed intoit to whatever degree.
And here's the thing, guys Godremembers the sins done against
us.
God remembers the trauma thatthese Israelites were put
(08:38):
through.
If you remember the story, notonly were they enslaved, not
only were they, I think, makingperhaps the pyramids or other
significant archaeological notarchaeological other structures,
but they also were worked extrahard when Moses started
intervening for them.
They were brutalized.
(08:59):
They were being treated sopoorly that Moses, who lived in
the house of Pharaoh and hadundoubtedly some of the
privileges of living in thathouse, was willing to murder
someone.
You know, kind of withoutthinking it through well, but he
was willing to murder someonebecause of how brutal his people
were being treated.
And so one thing we want totalk about today, friends, is
that trauma creates a wedgebetween our brains and our
(09:23):
bodies.
Trauma has a significant impacton the way we see the world.
There's two types of traumas Ijust want to highlight briefly
and we'll get to talk more aboutthis and how we see this in our
coaching but, broadly speaking,this is taken out of Living
from the Heart.
Jesus Gave you, a fantasticbook from Jim Wilder and several
other authors.
(09:43):
But type A traumas are absences.
These are often easier toremember because they're things
that we can realize.
Okay, my mom didn't give methis, my dad wasn't there for me
emotionally, whatever it is butwe're a lot less likely to give
type A traumas any significance.
We downplay them.
I don't know about you, aaron,with the guys you coach or the
(10:04):
guys you've led through Unwanted, but for so many of us we
completely downplay thesignificance of lacking, being
given what we needed, themalnutrition, emotionally
speaking or otherwise, orliterally malnutrition, whatever
it was.
We often downplay these absencesbecause we look at type B.
Type B are simply the badthings that happen to us.
(10:25):
They're the abuse or this orthat which do have more of an
impact, by the way, on ourmemory.
We'll talk about that in asecond.
It makes it harder to remember.
But we look at those and saythat's real trauma, but what
I've experienced is not realtrauma, and so we don't really
recognize.
Hey, this is actually having apretty significant impact on our
minds.
Aaron Tagart (10:47):
Yeah, yeah, and I think even within that, you know
, there are, you know, what'skind of referred to as the big T
traumas.
I think when you get into thatkind of that second trauma
you're talking about and thethings that, the bad things that
happen to us, but then there'salso the things that can be more
subtle, it seems a littlesmaller, um, exactly, yep,
(11:10):
that's what I was going to sayLittle T traumas and it's kind
of that idea of like death by athousand cuts.
You know it's these little tinythings like a paper cut.
You know it's like oh ah, youknow that hurt a little bit but
it's not really that big of adeal, you know.
But over and over and overagain, you know that that wound,
you know, becomes prettysignificant.
James Craig (11:33):
Um, like, imagine, imagine just a vitamin example.
I don't know why this is comingto mind.
Imagine being inside all day,no sunlight, so no vitamin D is
coming from the sun.
No milk, milk, whatever otherthings give vitamin d, like
that's actually.
They found a very significantuh correlation with that and
certain mental health outcomes.
So imagine your whole lifeyou're never getting vitamin d.
(11:54):
What that's going to do to your, your development, your, your
maturity, your health yeah it'sa it's, it's a it's, it's a lack
, right.
Aaron Tagart (12:05):
And you know, when we lack something, you know
either our body tries to makethat up or we we try to seek out
something in its absence.
Uh, you know addiction andthings like that, but it that's
(12:34):
kind of what comes to mind.
You know, we, we turn to thesepseudo things, whether it's
pornography or masturbation oracting out in other ways, and
and it's a large part becauseyou know there's we're lacking
something.
Maybe it's even just thoughtsabout ourself or um, you know,
some of these little, thesetraumas are coming in and and
(12:54):
we're trying to in some waysrewrite that story or forget
that this thing's happened or orwhatever.
And so you know, we try tosupplement and that's what you
know, I think of supplements inthe, in the kind of health world
, right or to kind of make upfor the lack of what you're not
(13:14):
getting, maybe in your diet.
So you need to take certainsupplements right, because you
need to make sure your bodystill needs that, and so then we
end up supplementing for thethings that we're lacking.
James Craig (13:29):
So let's say you're an infant and you need deep
care.
But that care either didn'tcome.
You need the nurture, you needthe gaze of your mother and of
your father, you need that deepsense of care.
But that either didn't come orit came with a price tag.
You know quid pro quo, a thingfor thing.
(13:50):
Mom or dad only gives us careto the extent that we're
behaving well, things like that.
It's not going to be thatsurprising to us as coaches or
others that you walk with inthis field.
That maybe part of, let's say,you're going to pornography,
part of what you're looking forin that place is care.
Now, does it actually reallysatisfy?
I mean, thankfully I don't knowabout you, aaron I take a
(14:12):
vitamin every day and I use, youknow, protein powder.
Those things actually do help.
Granted, if I got enoughthrough my food, you're right, I
wouldn't need them.
But what pornography does doesnot actually help.
It's a pseudo care.
It's like Christopher Westdescribes real eating versus
fast food and fast food.
You know, it might feel goodgoing down, but it is not
(14:34):
actually giving your body muchof what it really needs.
Aaron Tagart (14:39):
Yeah, sorry, I'm just starting to think of like
all the Taco Bell memes like inthe right.
Now I digress.
James Craig (14:46):
Yeah.
So just briefly, in Living fromthe Heart Jesus Gave you, they
outline three steps for type Atraumas One, recognizing the
extent of the wound.
Number two, facing the pain.
And number three, welcominglife-giving relationships that
satisfy the long-neglectedabsences.
And so when I think back to theIsraelites again, you know
(15:11):
there's plenty left unsaid.
Undoubtedly many conversationswere happening, but did they
recognize the extent of thewound?
Did they recognize the extentof the lack of freedom that they
had?
I just watched Braveheart lastweek and a friend is turning 34.
He had never seen it and heloved it.
It's one of those classicmovies for many men.
(15:31):
But there's that lack of truefreedom that they were
experiencing.
They didn't even have thefreedom, maybe, to worship God
in the way that eventually weknow God wanted them to worship
him, wanted them to live.
So they needed to recognize theextent of that, the extent of
their slavery, face that painand enter into these life-giving
(15:53):
relationships that can satisfythose long absences.
So in some ways, what I'msaying is, freedom didn't come
naturally, because they were sotrained out of freedom.
They were so trained to expectthe lack, to expect to not have
the nutrient, so they got usedto it, and maybe that's part of
why this generation wasn't readyto live free in the promised
(16:15):
land.
Aaron Tagart (16:17):
Yeah, yeah, that very well could be.
I mean, it makes a lot of sense, you know, especially when you
go from you know having all yourneeds met in a way, but the
conditions aren't so great toyou know.
Now, you know you're in somehard conditions, in the sense of
the wilderness, and your needsare provided in a way almost
(16:41):
relying, but you have to rely onGod in the midst of that.
And that is our story, isn't itLike the relying on God and the
need to turn to him and to relyon him.
We can't face the pain byourselves, you know, we can't
really recognize the extent ofthe wound by ourselves and we
(17:03):
can't really welcome life-givingrelationships and the fullness
of what God has intended inthose by ourselves.
You know, all that points backto him.
James Craig (17:17):
And doesn't it?
Isn't it so similar with somany of our clients here in that
they say, hey, I got threesquare meals a day.
My parents were both physicallypresent.
I should not be considered tohave trauma or I shouldn't, I
shouldn't be having thisaddiction at all, like what's
and obviously there are totallydifferent levels of you know,
some people didn't have threemeals a day, et cetera.
But we can't.
Actually, pain is not like azero-sum game, like, okay, Aaron
(17:41):
, you weren't fed as a child andtherefore I can't have pain
because I was fed.
That's just not how pain works.
Pain is completelyindividualized and so we need to
recognize that, like for somany of our clients, yeah, you
were fed three square meals aday, maybe in your slavery in
Egypt, but you still weren'tgetting everything you needed.
You still did not receive allthat you were made for.
Aaron Tagart (18:06):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that's the you know, it
makes me think of and this isprobably the number one thing I
think that comes up with clientswhen I, when I do some work
with them is is that concept ofhonor and honesty, uh, and being
able to name things in yourstory, um, and this comes from
from Jay uh Stringer and hiswork in unwanted, but to be able
(18:28):
to identify um and to be honestwith how you perceive something
, how you experience something,and also being able to
simultaneously honor theindividual.
So, by speaking that truth,it's not saying, oh, my mom's to
blame, my dad's to blame, thisperson's to blame, the
(18:51):
situation's to blame.
It's just simply stating thatI'm going to be honest with
myself and that I experienced alack here, but can fully
understand, maybe why, dependingon circumstance, and hold that
person still in honor, withoutblaming them.
(19:15):
You know for something, causeit's not about blaming them,
it's just about being able tohave the freedom to name
something in your story.
James Craig (19:23):
And this is the thing about trauma guys.
Um, we, we need to takeownership.
It doesn't mean we're the onewho brought it on, especially
for those of us who arewrestling with that.
I caused this abuse.
No, it's never.
You know, if you're in asituation of abuse it's not your
fault.
And yet we need to recognizethis did happen.
These things happen.
So let's talk about type Bbriefly.
(19:44):
They talk about again these arebad things that happen.
One we need to find the wound.
So if we can't remember many ofus struggle to because again
these kinds of type B traumasimpact our memory areas in our
brains we need to find the wound.
I'll talk about one way.
I do that with clients,actually in a moment.
Number two, though we need toopen that hurt feeling in the
(20:05):
presence of caring persons,enough to understand the effect
of the trauma.
So that might look like atrauma-informed Christian
therapist.
That might look like one of ourspiritual coaches here at Regen
.
Obviously, we know our limitsas non-clinicians, as
non-therapists, what we need torefer out for if the trauma is
significant enough or whatever,but nonetheless we can provide
(20:28):
that kind of caring place foryou to experience love and
acceptance in that, and then wecan actually pray for full
healing.
Notice I didn't uh, they didn'tactually add in prayer for the
first one, because so often withtype A traumas we get prayer,
we feel a little better.
But what we need the most isthose long, life-giving, healing
(20:49):
relationships With type Btraumas.
Once we do open those up, we wefind the wound, we open the
hurt feeling.
God does incredible work whenwe pray for that healing,
because we're inviting him theninto that wound.
We're saying there's a realwound here, it's really infected
.
I'm opening it back up so thatyou, god, can come in with your
healing.
Balm year.
(21:10):
Betrayed spouse.
Not only might there have been,not only was there likely a type
B trauma, this wound ofinfidelity or hidden and lied
about pornography for years butpart of what you might also be
experiencing even if some ofthat wound has already been
healed maybe you've been workingon this is that you also may
have experienced some of theseabsences, these type A traumas
(21:33):
in the sense of you weren'treally being loved, and traumas
in the sense of you weren'treally being loved and you
didn't know why you weren'treally being pursued.
Now, this is not to say we needto have perfectionistic
standards, and any spouse whobetrayed was also just
traumatizing you across theboard or trying to.
But there can be thisrealization of all that hidden
(21:54):
porn use, all of that hiddenbehavior.
A lot of their kind of energywas being funneled there, and so
I'm not actually crazy forhaving wanted more of that.
So it applies to those who haveexperienced betrayal and it
very much applies to thosedealing with the unwanted sexual
behavior, that there areundoubtedly at least type A
traumas and often type B traumasin your past that are, you know
(22:19):
, fueling this addiction withoutmaybe you realizing it.
Aaron Tagart (22:22):
Yeah, I think there's, you know, part of that
too.
Do we cling to, you know, thepast, the memory, the pain you
know, or are we you know, or arewe um, are we clinging to the
hope of the future and theredemption and the healing and
(22:43):
and those things that the, thefullness of restoration to the
lord, has uh for us, with thoseum, with those types of traumas?
So, you know, I think thatprocess of finding it, the wound
opening that hurt, in a, in asafe way, to be able to enter in
with, with others and alsoJesus, um, then to to pray for
healing, I think all of thatpoints forward, it points
(23:05):
towards hope, it points towards,uh, healing, um, and so I think
, just, you know,self-examination of you know,
what are we clinging to?
What you know?
What memory you know might makeyou cry or run?
What memory do you live withthat aren't healthy?
How are those memoriesimpacting you?
James Craig (23:32):
And how are they impacting others through you?
Yeah, and you know, some of itis we can't remember.
So if we can remember, there'sthis invitation to engage that
wound right to to, to open it ina safe place, in a safe way, in
a safe time.
But for many of us we can'tremember things well.
So one thing I'll use withclients sometimes I believe I
got this from drew bow athusband material is recognizing
(23:54):
where in their body they feltthe trigger that led to their
sexual behavior.
So I primarily coach mendealing with sexual sin and so
we might look back at the mostrecent time and say where was
that trigger and where did youfeel it in your body?
Then we ask the Holy Spirit tocome and show where that feeling
(24:15):
in their body connects to aprevious memory.
And I've been shocked, aaron,like this is something that it's
like really.
This thing works.
But because trauma is held inour bodies, our bodies keep the
score.
As Bessel van der Kolk taughtus, we can actually find
connections between where we'reholding in our body and the
trauma in our brain.
(24:35):
So I've had a client who we didthis together and he was
brought back to a verysignificant memory of the first
time he ever looked at porn, allthe feelings that came up in
his body, all the shame andexcitement and tension and fear
and desire.
It was such a messy place, youknow, because porn is trying to
(24:56):
grab onto all those things.
So we were able to find thewound, we were able to open up
some of the hurt and begin topray for some of the healing.
And so I just believe that,whether we kind of recognize it
in our body or we just beginthis process of praying Lord, I
don't really know where thistrigger is coming from.
I've been in recovery for awhile.
(25:16):
I'm still struggling.
Ask him and maybe he will leadyou to someone who can walk you
through this process of feelingin your body.
Maybe you could even do it now,but he will help over time, at
the right time, reveal theorigins of these wounds so that
we can begin this process ofdeeper healing.
Healing of that wound, yeah,yeah, and that process.
(25:38):
It reminds us of uh, romans 5,um, right, aaron, like this idea
that it's not suffering is not.
You know, trauma tries to makesuffering the end all be all.
It leads us to despair, ifnever.
But paul's saying actuallythere's a process and there's
something beyond the traumabeyond the suffering yeah,
(26:02):
absolutely.
Aaron Tagart (26:02):
I mean suffering in some ways, um, and I know
this can sound initially maybe alittle daunting or or or kind
of horrifying, but in some wayssuffering is kind of the
beginning.
Um, you know, cause, accordingto Romans, five, three through
five it says, you know, but wealso glory in our sufferings
(26:23):
because we know that sufferingproduces perseverance,
perseverance, character andcharacter, hope.
And hope does not put us toshame, because God's love has
been poured out into our heartsthrough the Holy Spirit who's
been given to us.
So the kind of, you know, itmight start with suffering, but
(26:47):
with Christ it can actually endin hope.
And to me, again, that's thatpointing forward, that walking
towards that hope in a future isa game changer.
And if you don't have that hope,maybe you're in that
perseverance, you're kind ofstill working in that
(27:10):
perseverance, you're stillworking out that perseverance
and the suffering producesperseverance or perseverance,
character, and all these thingscan make us sharper with the
Lord Again, kind of culminatingin that hope.
And it's not just like, oh man,I hope God, god's gonna do this
(27:31):
or I hope he shows up, it'slike a it's.
It's this knowing, like in ourheart of hearts, that that
things are different, things canbe different.
Uh, that he makes a differencein the midst of wherever we find
ourselves and sometimes we needto borrow that from a friend.
(27:51):
Oh yeah, I mean.
James Craig (27:53):
I recently found there in this translation called
the Y'all Translation, and it'swhat everyone's always dreamed
about.
Every most use in the NewTestament are y'all In the King
James, some people still likethat, because it says ye, which
actually means you, plural.
And so one of the missingingredients, friends, for so
many of us is people, it'scommunity, it's a team around us
(28:16):
.
Maybe it is a coach, Maybe itis a group, maybe it's our
pastor and our friends.
There's this assumption,there's this ingredient so often
missing from our culture.
So, in order to see sufferingnot just be this debilitating
trauma that keeps us away fromthe promised land, in order to
see it be like, in order to seeit like Kintsugi, like this bowl
(28:38):
that maybe originally was nice,broken, but now it's being put
together with glue that's madeof gold or looks like gold and
it's more beautiful than it everwas, we need community, we need
people around us, and we alsoneed a mindset, like Aaron's
kind of saying, to engageinstead of avoid.
This mindset is hey, I knowI've been stuck, I know I
(29:03):
haven't been able to figure outmy way around this, but in
community, with God's help, I'mgoing to engage my pain, I'm
going to engage my wounds, I'mgoing to engage my grief.
I'm going to engage my wounds,I'm going to engage my grief
instead of avoiding.
And a huge portion of this, ifyou mix in community and a
mindset to engage, with God'shelp, in that community, can
help us through that progressionof suffering, ultimately
(29:25):
leaving us with this resilienthope that we all long for.
And you know, friends, this istrue even with sin, and we're
going to kind of wrap up withthis God helps us remember our
sin.
You know, not just the sins thathave been done to us, the
traumas we've experienced, butalso the sins we've done.
(29:46):
And he doesn't do this out of aplace of punitiveness.
He does it because sin seeks todisintegrate us, to pull us
apart.
God helps us remember our sinbecause he wants to remember us,
he wants to put us backtogether, to reintegrate.
Aaron Tagart (30:02):
Yeah, yeah.
So Peter is a great example, Ithink, of this.
And Jesus even calls Peter outand says to him, before he is
crucified, right Before he'sarrested, that you know, before
you know the rooster crows, thatPeter's going to deny him three
times, um, and why is that abig deal?
(30:23):
Well, we also kind of see inscripture, too, that you know
that denying Jesus and his nameis actually a pretty big deal.
Um and uh.
So you know, in in, in a wayhere, you know, uh, paul, um,
peter is sinning, um, and thisis the guy who Jesus said like
(30:44):
I'm going to build my church,like on this guy, like he's
going to be the rock, right, andif you've seen the chosen, uh,
spoiler, if you're not into thatseason, yeah, I think it was
season four, but when jesuscalls him, that you know he gets
he kind of puffs up his chestand he's like, oh, hey, guys,
like, look at me like I'm, I'mthe guy, and.
And then yet he falls short,right, and then actually one of
(31:08):
the gospels says that hebasically runs away, you know,
weeping, because he realized, Ithink in that moment, the impact
After denying Jesus.
Yeah, after denying Jesus threetimes, and, and that the one
that the Lord said that he woulddo that, and two, that he
actually did that, thinking thatno man like I'm going to stand
with you.
Like all the way to death, andhe didn't Right, and so, shame,
(31:29):
different things enter in.
Like all the way to death andhe didn't right, and so, shame,
different things enter in.
But there's the full redemptionof that story is after jesus
resurrection in john 21.
Um, I think it's 21, yeah, um,you know, jesus, uh is cooking
fish up on the shore, uh, andthey see him, uh, you know, from
the boat and they're fishingand they come up and have
(31:50):
breakfast with him.
But then Jesus meets with Peterpersonally and then asks him
three times do you love me?
And you know, of course, youknow Peter's responses are yes,
you know.
And then Jesus is you know,feed my sheep, tend my sheep,
you know, feed my lamb, I thinkmy lambs is the first one, but,
(32:10):
you know, with some action.
So, and then he ends withfollow sheep, you know, uh, feed
my lamb, I think my lambs isthe first one, but, you know,
with some action.
So, and then he ends withfollow me, you know.
And so there's this beautifulrestoration of of Peter and
Jesus, knowing full well how hefell short and that he was going
to fall short and that yet heis still right there with him
(32:31):
and that Jesus believes in himjust as much as he did, you know
, before he actually denied him,and so I think that's just a
really beautiful you know thathe remembers our sin, but we
don't have to be afraid of that,this invitation to sit with him
(32:55):
in that, to be with him in thatand let him speak to us and
over us and help us to remember,you know who we are in him.
James Craig (33:02):
So there's something God does with all of
us that he wants us to rememberour past.
He helps us remember our past.
He's putting us back together.
He's remembering us in thepresent, but he also, because
he's outside of time, heremembers us as we will be.
It says in Ephesians that we'reseated with Christ in the
(33:22):
heavenlies.
He saw Peter as the great manthat God always intended him to
be, the man, ultimately, whowould be in glory with him, but
also the great leader of thechurch after Jesus did reinstate
him.
And so God remembers, friends,what has happened to you, he
remembers what will happen, andhe is remembering you, he's
putting you back together.
(33:43):
So we hope to leave you withthat hope.
Aaron, could you just pray overus as we close out today?
Aaron Tagart (33:47):
Yeah, I'd love to pray over us as we close out
today.
Yeah, I'd love to Abba.
Father, we thank you for thisconversation today, lord, we
thank you for the ways that youare present with us, lord, in
our traumas, big or small.
Lord in our healing.
(34:17):
Lord, on our journey.
Lord, in our sin, that youstill long to be with us and
that you speak a better wordover us, lord, that, despite our
shortcomings, you are the Godin which we hope, and you are
the God that speaks our trueidentity, and so may we walk in
the fullness of what you havefor us and the fullness of our
(34:40):
identities as sons and daughtersin a loving father.
We thank you, lord, for thisword and for this conversation.
We pray these things inChrist's name, amen.
James Craig (34:54):
Amen.
Your sexual struggles are not accidental.
Your mental health strugglesare not random.
Your outcomes are not arbitrary.
Today I'm joined by AaronTaggart, one of our spiritual
coaches here at Regeneration.
Welcome, Aaron.
Aaron Tagart (00:17):
Hey, good to be on as usual.
James Craig (00:21):
Yeah, we're continuing this series.
We're in number three of ourRemember series.
This idea of God remembers us.
We remember things and Godremembers us.
He puts us back together.
If you're watching on YouTube,you'll see me putting my hands
together, and so we wanted totalk about this idea today,
(00:41):
related to especially ourunwanted sexual behavior, but
also all these other types ofstruggles sometimes mental
health or other outcomes withour behaviors that these things
aren't random, and the idea hereis that you are what you forget
, that our minds, our brainshold a lot, and if we are quick
(01:03):
to forget our past or thingswe've been through, it impacts
us.
So there are things going on.
In other words, there arethings going on that you might
not be aware of that areimpacting you.
It can be called implicitmemory.
I saw a podcast from Adam Young,who has an incredible podcast
called the Place we FindOurselves, about how implicit
(01:25):
memory has a significant impacton us, especially as we're
trying to get whole and heal.
So we want to start.
We've been looking some throughthe Old Testament as we've been
going through this, and we wantto start with the Israelites,
aaron.
It feels like the Israelitesare so quick to forget what they
(01:46):
had just been through wherethey were for hundreds of years
and the prayers they prayed toget out of there.
Aaron Tagart (01:53):
Yeah, yeah, man, so, so quick to forget, and it's
almost mind-bending how quicklythat they could forget, bending
how quickly that they couldforget.
You know, I mean in earlyexodus they are crying out, uh,
(02:14):
and the lord hears their cry,right, and I think it's exodus 3
, when god kind of commissionsmoses to go free his people, um
and so and so, and, and it saysin there that you know, I have
heard, you know the cries of mypeople Um and so, and so these
are the same people who end upin the wilderness, you know,
(02:38):
freed from Egypt's um rule, and,and you know, slavery and and
all of that, right, and so thereare actually about seven
different times where theIsraelites are grumbling, uh,
between Exodus, chapters 11 and21.
James Craig (02:57):
And that's like right after they got free, right
Didn't they get free?
And was it nine or 10 orsomewhere in there, somewhere
close?
Aaron Tagart (03:03):
Yeah, I mean, I think they cross the river and
there's like a complaint, likethey're scared, like something's
going to happen to them.
You know that Pharaoh's afterthem and and all of that, right,
and so it's.
It begins like you know, almostimmediately, um, and then it
hits you know some human kind ofneeds.
You know they, they're hungry,you know they, they're hungry,
(03:24):
you know they're tired, they'reall these things Right.
And I think, when I think aboutyou know, our, our listeners,
right, and the times where youknow, you know acting out might
take place because of we'rehungry or we're tired, or you
know, there's almost this kindof equation of we're forgetting.
You know, in those moments weit's so easy to forget because I
(03:44):
think of the human uh element,right, and so just really
interesting that you knowthere's this kind of idea of you
know they're, they're cryingout, um, and complaining, and
and sadly, as a result, you knowthat they didn't get to enter
the promised land.
You know the Lord freed themfrom slavery and the intention
(04:08):
was that they would become, theywould enter, you know, into the
promised land, but they had towait a generation, so that group
had to continue to live in thewilderness.
Because really I think what itboils down to is they weren't
trusting God, and they didn'ttrust him for the small things
(04:32):
and they didn't trust him forthe big things, and that lack of
trust in what the Lord wasdoing kind of kept them in the I
call it the in-between neitherhere nor there.
They remained kind of in thatwilderness in the in-between.
James Craig (04:52):
It's almost like they weren't ready, like just
knowing how merciful God is andI know sometimes when we read
the Old Testament it can seemlike God is pretty harsh with
them.
But knowing his character ismerciful, his character is
defined by love.
There undoubtedly had to be amercy in them not being ready.
So part of what happens is andwe talked about this last week
(05:13):
with Kyle God started teachingthem hey, make Ebenezers, make
these structures with stonesafter they finally did cross in
another generation later intothe promised land.
Make these things to remember.
And so one way we could say itis guys, remember your pain from
slavery, don't forget what youjust came out of.
Remember one way we could seethis as an application,
(05:35):
especially for those dealingwith unwanted sexual behavior
remember the despair you feltafter the last time you gave in.
Now I'm not saying becomedespairing, but remember it was
painful.
It was more painful thanwhatever pain we're struggling
to face that might lead us backinto it.
And also thinking aboutbetrayed wives, thinking about
(05:57):
future generations.
Remember them, remember thepain or betrayed husbands.
Remember the pain and rememberthe pain or betrayed husbands.
Remember the pain and rememberthe legacy you want to pass down
.
But the other thing that Ithink that they didn't remember.
They didn't remember to grieve.
Now, this is a little bit ofconjecture, we don't for sure
know this, but there seems to bethis idea of they're not taking
(06:22):
the time the way we see allthroughout the Psalms.
Most of them were not writtenin the time of the Exodus, most
of them were written under KingDavid.
There were a couple from Moses,but Moses actually, in his
amazing Psalm, psalm 90, he doestalk about remembering his
grief and pain.
But I wonder how much theIsraelites struggled to grieve,
to process, to lament theslavery, because if you're that
(06:45):
ready to jump right back into it, just like we are with
pornography or other sexualstruggles, it's.
It shows that maybe we haven'treally remembered or processed
or lamented, but we had just putourselves through yeah, yeah,
we spoke more in depth aboutgrief and lament.
Aaron Tagart (07:05):
To start the new year in complaining to the Lord
about and actually like that ispart of lament is complaining.
But I think the complainingthat the Israelites are doing is
(07:35):
more kind of trivial, more onthe human side, like hey, like
you know we're hungry, you knowwhat are we going to eat.
It would have been better forus to stay there and at least
have our these needs met andstill be in those conditions,
right, and it's like, are youkidding me?
Like you're the same peoplethat were crying out to to be
free from that and you want togo back over some bread, uh, or
(07:59):
you know, because of you'rehungry.
So you know, uh, you, you knowprocessing that through crying
out, through you know thatmovement, uh, of lament which
ends back on that trustingreally in god, um, and and maybe
that's the difference.
James Craig (08:15):
Maybe grumbling is this distrust, this despair,
it's lack of hope, this lack oflove.
Yeah, maybe lament has has somemixture of those ingredients
faith, hope and love mixed intoit to whatever degree.
And here's the thing, guys Godremembers the sins done against
us.
God remembers the trauma thatthese Israelites were put
(08:38):
through.
If you remember the story, notonly were they enslaved, not
only were they, I think, makingperhaps the pyramids or other
significant archaeological notarchaeological other structures,
but they also were worked extrahard when Moses started
intervening for them.
They were brutalized.
(08:59):
They were being treated sopoorly that Moses, who lived in
the house of Pharaoh and hadundoubtedly some of the
privileges of living in thathouse, was willing to murder
someone.
You know, kind of withoutthinking it through well, but he
was willing to murder someonebecause of how brutal his people
were being treated.
And so one thing we want totalk about today, friends, is
that trauma creates a wedgebetween our brains and our
(09:23):
bodies.
Trauma has a significant impacton the way we see the world.
There's two types of traumas Ijust want to highlight briefly
and we'll get to talk more aboutthis and how we see this in our
coaching but, broadly speaking,this is taken out of Living
from the Heart.
Jesus Gave you, a fantasticbook from Jim Wilder and several
other authors.
(09:43):
But type A traumas are absences.
These are often easier toremember because they're things
that we can realize.
Okay, my mom didn't give methis, my dad wasn't there for me
emotionally, whatever it is butwe're a lot less likely to give
type A traumas any significance.
We downplay them.
I don't know about you, aaron,with the guys you coach or the
(10:04):
guys you've led through Unwanted, but for so many of us we
completely downplay thesignificance of lacking, being
given what we needed, themalnutrition, emotionally
speaking or otherwise, orliterally malnutrition, whatever
it was.
We often downplay these absencesbecause we look at type B.
Type B are simply the badthings that happen to us.
(10:25):
They're the abuse or this orthat which do have more of an
impact, by the way, on ourmemory.
We'll talk about that in asecond.
It makes it harder to remember.
But we look at those and saythat's real trauma, but what
I've experienced is not realtrauma, and so we don't really
recognize.
Hey, this is actually having apretty significant impact on our
minds.
Aaron Tagart (10:47):
Yeah, yeah, and I think even within that, you know
, there are, you know, what'skind of referred to as the big T
traumas.
I think when you get into thatkind of that second trauma
you're talking about and thethings that, the bad things that
happen to us, but then there'salso the things that can be more
subtle, it seems a littlesmaller, um, exactly, yep,
(11:10):
that's what I was going to sayLittle T traumas and it's kind
of that idea of like death by athousand cuts.
You know it's these little tinythings like a paper cut.
You know it's like oh ah, youknow that hurt a little bit but
it's not really that big of adeal, you know.
But over and over and overagain, you know that that wound,
you know, becomes prettysignificant.
James Craig (11:33):
Um, like, imagine, imagine just a vitamin example.
I don't know why this is comingto mind.
Imagine being inside all day,no sunlight, so no vitamin D is
coming from the sun.
No milk, milk, whatever otherthings give vitamin d, like
that's actually.
They found a very significantuh correlation with that and
certain mental health outcomes.
So imagine your whole lifeyou're never getting vitamin d.
(11:54):
What that's going to do to your, your development, your, your
maturity, your health yeah it'sa it's, it's a it's, it's a lack
, right.
Aaron Tagart (12:05):
And you know, when we lack something, you know
either our body tries to makethat up or we we try to seek out
something in its absence.
Uh, you know addiction andthings like that, but it that's
(12:34):
kind of what comes to mind.
You know, we, we turn to thesepseudo things, whether it's
pornography or masturbation oracting out in other ways, and
and it's a large part becauseyou know there's we're lacking
something.
Maybe it's even just thoughtsabout ourself or um, you know,
some of these little, thesetraumas are coming in and and
(12:54):
we're trying to in some waysrewrite that story or forget
that this thing's happened or orwhatever.
And so you know, we try tosupplement and that's what you
know, I think of supplements inthe, in the kind of health world
, right or to kind of make upfor the lack of what you're not
(13:14):
getting, maybe in your diet.
So you need to take certainsupplements right, because you
need to make sure your bodystill needs that, and so then we
end up supplementing for thethings that we're lacking.
James Craig (13:29):
So let's say you're an infant and you need deep
care.
But that care either didn'tcome.
You need the nurture, you needthe gaze of your mother and of
your father, you need that deepsense of care.
But that either didn't come orit came with a price tag.
You know quid pro quo, a thingfor thing.
(13:50):
Mom or dad only gives us careto the extent that we're
behaving well, things like that.
It's not going to be thatsurprising to us as coaches or
others that you walk with inthis field.
That maybe part of, let's say,you're going to pornography,
part of what you're looking forin that place is care.
Now, does it actually reallysatisfy?
I mean, thankfully I don't knowabout you, aaron I take a
(14:12):
vitamin every day and I use, youknow, protein powder.
Those things actually do help.
Granted, if I got enoughthrough my food, you're right, I
wouldn't need them.
But what pornography does doesnot actually help.
It's a pseudo care.
It's like Christopher Westdescribes real eating versus
fast food and fast food.
You know, it might feel goodgoing down, but it is not
(14:34):
actually giving your body muchof what it really needs.
Aaron Tagart (14:39):
Yeah, sorry, I'm just starting to think of like
all the Taco Bell memes like inthe right.
Now I digress.
James Craig (14:46):
Yeah.
So just briefly, in Living fromthe Heart Jesus Gave you, they
outline three steps for type Atraumas One, recognizing the
extent of the wound.
Number two, facing the pain.
And number three, welcominglife-giving relationships that
satisfy the long-neglectedabsences.
And so when I think back to theIsraelites again, you know
(15:11):
there's plenty left unsaid.
Undoubtedly many conversationswere happening, but did they
recognize the extent of thewound?
Did they recognize the extentof the lack of freedom that they
had?
I just watched Braveheart lastweek and a friend is turning 34.
He had never seen it and heloved it.
It's one of those classicmovies for many men.
(15:31):
But there's that lack of truefreedom that they were
experiencing.
They didn't even have thefreedom, maybe, to worship God
in the way that eventually weknow God wanted them to worship
him, wanted them to live.
So they needed to recognize theextent of that, the extent of
their slavery, face that painand enter into these life-giving
(15:53):
relationships that can satisfythose long absences.
So in some ways, what I'msaying is, freedom didn't come
naturally, because they were sotrained out of freedom.
They were so trained to expectthe lack, to expect to not have
the nutrient, so they got usedto it, and maybe that's part of
why this generation wasn't readyto live free in the promised
(16:15):
land.
Aaron Tagart (16:17):
Yeah, yeah, that very well could be.
I mean, it makes a lot of sense, you know, especially when you
go from you know having all yourneeds met in a way, but the
conditions aren't so great toyou know.
Now, you know you're in somehard conditions, in the sense of
the wilderness, and your needsare provided in a way almost
(16:41):
relying, but you have to rely onGod in the midst of that.
And that is our story, isn't itLike the relying on God and the
need to turn to him and to relyon him.
We can't face the pain byourselves, you know, we can't
really recognize the extent ofthe wound by ourselves and we
(17:03):
can't really welcome life-givingrelationships and the fullness
of what God has intended inthose by ourselves.
You know, all that points backto him.
James Craig (17:17):
And doesn't it?
Isn't it so similar with somany of our clients here in that
they say, hey, I got threesquare meals a day.
My parents were both physicallypresent.
I should not be considered tohave trauma or I shouldn't, I
shouldn't be having thisaddiction at all, like what's
and obviously there are totallydifferent levels of you know,
some people didn't have threemeals a day, et cetera.
But we can't.
Actually, pain is not like azero-sum game, like, okay, Aaron
(17:41):
, you weren't fed as a child andtherefore I can't have pain
because I was fed.
That's just not how pain works.
Pain is completelyindividualized and so we need to
recognize that, like for somany of our clients, yeah, you
were fed three square meals aday, maybe in your slavery in
Egypt, but you still weren'tgetting everything you needed.
You still did not receive allthat you were made for.
Aaron Tagart (18:06):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that's the you know, it
makes me think of and this isprobably the number one thing I
think that comes up with clientswhen I, when I do some work
with them is is that concept ofhonor and honesty, uh, and being
able to name things in yourstory, um, and this comes from
from Jay uh Stringer and hiswork in unwanted, but to be able
(18:28):
to identify um and to be honestwith how you perceive something
, how you experience something,and also being able to
simultaneously honor theindividual.
So, by speaking that truth,it's not saying, oh, my mom's to
blame, my dad's to blame, thisperson's to blame, the
(18:51):
situation's to blame.
It's just simply stating thatI'm going to be honest with
myself and that I experienced alack here, but can fully
understand, maybe why, dependingon circumstance, and hold that
person still in honor, withoutblaming them.
(19:15):
You know for something, causeit's not about blaming them,
it's just about being able tohave the freedom to name
something in your story.
James Craig (19:23):
And this is the thing about trauma guys.
Um, we, we need to takeownership.
It doesn't mean we're the onewho brought it on, especially
for those of us who arewrestling with that.
I caused this abuse.
No, it's never.
You know, if you're in asituation of abuse it's not your
fault.
And yet we need to recognizethis did happen.
These things happen.
So let's talk about type Bbriefly.
(19:44):
They talk about again these arebad things that happen.
One we need to find the wound.
So if we can't remember many ofus struggle to because again
these kinds of type B traumasimpact our memory areas in our
brains we need to find the wound.
I'll talk about one way.
I do that with clients,actually in a moment.
Number two, though we need toopen that hurt feeling in the
(20:05):
presence of caring persons,enough to understand the effect
of the trauma.
So that might look like atrauma-informed Christian
therapist.
That might look like one of ourspiritual coaches here at Regen
.
Obviously, we know our limitsas non-clinicians, as
non-therapists, what we need torefer out for if the trauma is
significant enough or whatever,but nonetheless we can provide
(20:28):
that kind of caring place foryou to experience love and
acceptance in that, and then wecan actually pray for full
healing.
Notice I didn't uh, they didn'tactually add in prayer for the
first one, because so often withtype A traumas we get prayer,
we feel a little better.
But what we need the most isthose long, life-giving, healing
(20:49):
relationships With type Btraumas.
Once we do open those up, we wefind the wound, we open the
hurt feeling.
God does incredible work whenwe pray for that healing,
because we're inviting him theninto that wound.
We're saying there's a realwound here, it's really infected
.
I'm opening it back up so thatyou, god, can come in with your
healing.
Balm year.
(21:10):
Betrayed spouse.
Not only might there have been,not only was there likely a type
B trauma, this wound ofinfidelity or hidden and lied
about pornography for years butpart of what you might also be
experiencing even if some ofthat wound has already been
healed maybe you've been workingon this is that you also may
have experienced some of theseabsences, these type A traumas
(21:33):
in the sense of you weren'treally being loved, and traumas
in the sense of you weren'treally being loved and you
didn't know why you weren'treally being pursued.
Now, this is not to say we needto have perfectionistic
standards, and any spouse whobetrayed was also just
traumatizing you across theboard or trying to.
But there can be thisrealization of all that hidden
(21:54):
porn use, all of that hiddenbehavior.
A lot of their kind of energywas being funneled there, and so
I'm not actually crazy forhaving wanted more of that.
So it applies to those who haveexperienced betrayal and it
very much applies to thosedealing with the unwanted sexual
behavior, that there areundoubtedly at least type A
traumas and often type B traumasin your past that are, you know
(22:19):
, fueling this addiction withoutmaybe you realizing it.
Aaron Tagart (22:22):
Yeah, I think there's, you know, part of that
too.
Do we cling to, you know, thepast, the memory, the pain you
know, or are we you know, or arewe um, are we clinging to the
hope of the future and theredemption and the healing and
(22:43):
and those things that the, thefullness of restoration to the
lord, has uh for us, with thoseum, with those types of traumas?
So, you know, I think thatprocess of finding it, the wound
opening that hurt, in a, in asafe way, to be able to enter in
with, with others and alsoJesus, um, then to to pray for
healing, I think all of thatpoints forward, it points
(23:05):
towards hope, it points towards,uh, healing, um, and so I think
, just, you know,self-examination of you know,
what are we clinging to?
What you know?
What memory you know might makeyou cry or run?
What memory do you live withthat aren't healthy?
How are those memoriesimpacting you?
James Craig (23:32):
And how are they impacting others through you?
Yeah, and you know, some of itis we can't remember.
So if we can remember, there'sthis invitation to engage that
wound right to to, to open it ina safe place, in a safe way, in
a safe time.
But for many of us we can'tremember things well.
So one thing I'll use withclients sometimes I believe I
got this from drew bow athusband material is recognizing
(23:54):
where in their body they feltthe trigger that led to their
sexual behavior.
So I primarily coach mendealing with sexual sin and so
we might look back at the mostrecent time and say where was
that trigger and where did youfeel it in your body?
Then we ask the Holy Spirit tocome and show where that feeling
(24:15):
in their body connects to aprevious memory.
And I've been shocked, aaron,like this is something that it's
like really.
This thing works.
But because trauma is held inour bodies, our bodies keep the
score.
As Bessel van der Kolk taughtus, we can actually find
connections between where we'reholding in our body and the
trauma in our brain.
(24:35):
So I've had a client who we didthis together and he was
brought back to a verysignificant memory of the first
time he ever looked at porn, allthe feelings that came up in
his body, all the shame andexcitement and tension and fear
and desire.
It was such a messy place, youknow, because porn is trying to
(24:56):
grab onto all those things.
So we were able to find thewound, we were able to open up
some of the hurt and begin topray for some of the healing.
And so I just believe that,whether we kind of recognize it
in our body or we just beginthis process of praying Lord, I
don't really know where thistrigger is coming from.
I've been in recovery for awhile.
(25:16):
I'm still struggling.
Ask him and maybe he will leadyou to someone who can walk you
through this process of feelingin your body.
Maybe you could even do it now,but he will help over time, at
the right time, reveal theorigins of these wounds so that
we can begin this process ofdeeper healing.
Healing of that wound, yeah,yeah, and that process.
(25:38):
It reminds us of uh, romans 5,um, right, aaron, like this idea
that it's not suffering is not.
You know, trauma tries to makesuffering the end all be all.
It leads us to despair, ifnever.
But paul's saying actuallythere's a process and there's
something beyond the traumabeyond the suffering yeah,
(26:02):
absolutely.
Aaron Tagart (26:02):
I mean suffering in some ways, um, and I know
this can sound initially maybe alittle daunting or or or kind
of horrifying, but in some wayssuffering is kind of the
beginning.
Um, you know, cause, accordingto Romans, five, three through
five it says, you know, but wealso glory in our sufferings
(26:23):
because we know that sufferingproduces perseverance,
perseverance, character andcharacter, hope.
And hope does not put us toshame, because God's love has
been poured out into our heartsthrough the Holy Spirit who's
been given to us.
So the kind of, you know, itmight start with suffering, but
(26:47):
with Christ it can actually endin hope.
And to me, again, that's thatpointing forward, that walking
towards that hope in a future isa game changer.
And if you don't have that hope,maybe you're in that
perseverance, you're kind ofstill working in that
(27:10):
perseverance, you're stillworking out that perseverance
and the suffering producesperseverance or perseverance,
character, and all these thingscan make us sharper with the
Lord Again, kind of culminatingin that hope.
And it's not just like, oh man,I hope God, god's gonna do this
(27:31):
or I hope he shows up, it'slike a it's.
It's this knowing, like in ourheart of hearts, that that
things are different, things canbe different.
Uh, that he makes a differencein the midst of wherever we find
ourselves and sometimes we needto borrow that from a friend.
(27:51):
Oh yeah, I mean.
James Craig (27:53):
I recently found there in this translation called
the Y'all Translation, and it'swhat everyone's always dreamed
about.
Every most use in the NewTestament are y'all In the King
James, some people still likethat, because it says ye, which
actually means you, plural.
And so one of the missingingredients, friends, for so
many of us is people, it'scommunity, it's a team around us
(28:16):
.
Maybe it is a coach, Maybe itis a group, maybe it's our
pastor and our friends.
There's this assumption,there's this ingredient so often
missing from our culture.
So, in order to see sufferingnot just be this debilitating
trauma that keeps us away fromthe promised land, in order to
see it be like, in order to seeit like Kintsugi, like this bowl
(28:38):
that maybe originally was nice,broken, but now it's being put
together with glue that's madeof gold or looks like gold and
it's more beautiful than it everwas, we need community, we need
people around us, and we alsoneed a mindset, like Aaron's
kind of saying, to engageinstead of avoid.
This mindset is hey, I knowI've been stuck, I know I
(29:03):
haven't been able to figure outmy way around this, but in
community, with God's help, I'mgoing to engage my pain, I'm
going to engage my wounds, I'mgoing to engage my grief.
I'm going to engage my wounds,I'm going to engage my grief
instead of avoiding.
And a huge portion of this, ifyou mix in community and a
mindset to engage, with God'shelp, in that community, can
help us through that progressionof suffering, ultimately
(29:25):
leaving us with this resilienthope that we all long for.
And you know, friends, this istrue even with sin, and we're
going to kind of wrap up withthis God helps us remember our
sin.
You know, not just the sins thathave been done to us, the
traumas we've experienced, butalso the sins we've done.
(29:46):
And he doesn't do this out of aplace of punitiveness.
He does it because sin seeks todisintegrate us, to pull us
apart.
God helps us remember our sinbecause he wants to remember us,
he wants to put us backtogether, to reintegrate.
Aaron Tagart (30:02):
Yeah, yeah.
So Peter is a great example, Ithink, of this.
And Jesus even calls Peter outand says to him, before he is
crucified, right Before he'sarrested, that you know, before
you know the rooster crows, thatPeter's going to deny him three
times, um, and why is that abig deal?
(30:23):
Well, we also kind of see inscripture, too, that you know
that denying Jesus and his nameis actually a pretty big deal.
Um and uh.
So you know, in in, in a wayhere, you know, uh, paul, um,
peter is sinning, um, and thisis the guy who Jesus said like
(30:44):
I'm going to build my church,like on this guy, like he's
going to be the rock, right, andif you've seen the chosen, uh,
spoiler, if you're not into thatseason, yeah, I think it was
season four, but when jesuscalls him, that you know he gets
he kind of puffs up his chestand he's like, oh, hey, guys,
like, look at me like I'm, I'mthe guy, and.
And then yet he falls short,right, and then actually one of
(31:08):
the gospels says that hebasically runs away, you know,
weeping, because he realized, Ithink in that moment, the impact
After denying Jesus.
Yeah, after denying Jesus threetimes, and, and that the one
that the Lord said that he woulddo that, and two, that he
actually did that, thinking thatno man like I'm going to stand
with you.
Like all the way to death, andhe didn't Right, and so, shame,
(31:29):
different things enter in.
Like all the way to death andhe didn't right, and so, shame,
different things enter in.
But there's the full redemptionof that story is after jesus
resurrection in john 21.
Um, I think it's 21, yeah, um,you know, jesus, uh is cooking
fish up on the shore, uh, andthey see him, uh, you know, from
the boat and they're fishingand they come up and have
(31:50):
breakfast with him.
But then Jesus meets with Peterpersonally and then asks him
three times do you love me?
And you know, of course, youknow Peter's responses are yes,
you know.
And then Jesus is you know,feed my sheep, tend my sheep,
you know, feed my lamb, I thinkmy lambs is the first one, but,
(32:10):
you know, with some action.
So, and then he ends withfollow sheep, you know, uh, feed
my lamb, I think my lambs isthe first one, but, you know,
with some action.
So, and then he ends withfollow me, you know.
And so there's this beautifulrestoration of of Peter and
Jesus, knowing full well how hefell short and that he was going
to fall short and that yet heis still right there with him
(32:31):
and that Jesus believes in himjust as much as he did, you know
, before he actually denied him,and so I think that's just a
really beautiful you know thathe remembers our sin, but we
don't have to be afraid of that,this invitation to sit with him
(32:55):
in that, to be with him in thatand let him speak to us and
over us and help us to remember,you know who we are in him.
James Craig (33:02):
So there's something God does with all of
us that he wants us to rememberour past.
He helps us remember our past.
He's putting us back together.
He's remembering us in thepresent, but he also, because
he's outside of time, heremembers us as we will be.
It says in Ephesians that we'reseated with Christ in the
(33:22):
heavenlies.
He saw Peter as the great manthat God always intended him to
be, the man, ultimately, whowould be in glory with him, but
also the great leader of thechurch after Jesus did reinstate
him.
And so God remembers, friends,what has happened to you, he
remembers what will happen, andhe is remembering you, he's
putting you back together.
(33:43):
So we hope to leave you withthat hope.
Aaron, could you just pray overus as we close out today?
Aaron Tagart (33:47):
Yeah, I'd love to pray over us as we close out
today.
Yeah, I'd love to Abba.
Father, we thank you for thisconversation today, lord, we
thank you for the ways that youare present with us, lord, in
our traumas, big or small.
Lord in our healing.
(34:17):
Lord, on our journey.
Lord, in our sin, that youstill long to be with us and
that you speak a better wordover us, lord, that, despite our
shortcomings, you are the Godin which we hope, and you are
the God that speaks our trueidentity, and so may we walk in
the fullness of what you havefor us and the fullness of our
(34:40):
identities as sons and daughtersin a loving father.
We thank you, lord, for thisword and for this conversation.
We pray these things inChrist's name, amen.
James Craig (34:54):
Amen.
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