November 23, 2025 • 19 mins
Why did Osher and James take so long to make their announcements on Australian Idol? It was to build tension, right? Well, not that's not the whole story - as Osher unveils during a recent Story Club Live show.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Thanks for dayloading the show. This is Better than Yesterday.
Useful tools and useful conversations to help make your day
to day better than yesterday. Every episode since twenty thirteen.
By Name's Osha Ginsburg. I'm very glad you're here. I'm
a podcast an author, a TV host.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I'm a dad, I'm a stepdad.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I am someone who has been Oh he used to
host television, but at the moment, I'm hosting a delightful
pathogen that I eldest brought back from her overseas adventures.
The whole house has gone through a gastro adventure. My
fucking god, man, but gastro is so bad. I had
to go to the doctor. Audrey don't want to look
(00:39):
at me yesterday. Who's like, just you're gonna have to
go go now. So I went and I sat down
in front of a doctor and I'm just a lot
like death warmed up. And he says the two worst
things about gastro is one you think you're gonna die,
and two you think you won't. And he's not wrong
because at you know, one point thirty in the morning,
when I'm oh, my god, feel like my soul has
(01:02):
been removed but I didn't leave. I didn't want to
leave you without a podcast today, and so it's a
bit of a treat. But it's also, I guess, in
alignment with the Mrahiano episode which we had on Wednesday.
We spoke a bit about her time on Australian Idol,
and so it's a bit of a treat today in
a bit of alignment with that. And to celebrate that
the story Club YouTube is finally live, I finally got
(01:24):
it up there. I'm going to share a story from
our most recent story Club show in November. The theme
was the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and
it's related to Mraciano because I first met her on
the TV show Australian Idol singing competition show. And if
you remember that show or any kind of show where
there's a moment where somebody reads a card to say
your name. On Idol, we take a long time to
(01:47):
say those names. For example, and the person leaving is.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Jonathan. You know, if you've ever wondered.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Why, Hopefully this will finally reveal the very true reason,
and also a few other things that I still can't
believe actually made it to air. Because we're very cheeky
about how we did things. If you want to watch
this story, I'll put it up on YouTube right now.
The link is in the show notes. Story Club returns
for live gigs in February. It's a monthly storytelling show
(02:18):
where there's only two rules. The story must be true
and the story must be less than fifteen hundred words.
So we're back in a moment with that, I do
need to play some ads, so just hold fire. I'll
be right back. All right, let's get into this. Going
(02:38):
to take you to the Factory Theater in Marrickville in
the inner west of Sydney. It's a Sunday night, the
ninth of November twenty twenty five. I'm sitting in a
big comfy armchair in a collared shirt covered in ibis,
feasting on willibins. I have a huge storybook in my lap.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
And if you did.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Get nostalgic listening to m Rociano talking about the Australian
idle times, I hope you enjoy this behind the scenes
peak and a bit of a revelation about some of
the chaos and cheekiness that we were getting up to.
But everyone was thankful, a little bit too busy to.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Notice unless you're about to find.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Out on what was at the time the most watched
television program in Australian history.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
We were very naughty. Boys. Enjoy.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
It's twenty past eight on a Monday night and I
am about to execute perfectly a downward Donahue right into
a Surgey book cup. We're about to eliminate one of
the finalists on Australian Idol, but not before they sing
as a group for one final time. It's live TV
(03:54):
and time is tied, so to avoid confusion, we use
shorthand names for the up to thirty camera moves and
camera positions that we will use across a two hour
television show. There's no time to say okay, everybody. In
thirty seconds, we're going to repod to a reverse shot
where g is walking down the staircase and then chat
on camera right to someone's mum in the aisle when
he's about halfway. And then while we wait while the
(04:16):
steady cam clears the shot, we're going to switch to
the jib, the camera on the big long arm, which
is already a motion to swing across the crowd, and
then we take the shot as the song starts. So
instead my floor manager says, Okaja thirty left on the
break and then we're down with Donnie here right to
a Sergey book. Cup book is in the Ukrainian pole,
Vaulter camera pole anyway, look anyway and Donna Hue being
(04:39):
filled on who the talk show host who would walk.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Down the island and talk to people.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
So the cameras in front of me are beaming live
pictures to over two million Australian homes. To my right
my friend and co host James Matheson, and to my
left three shit scared young Australians with naive dreams of
singing stardom in their eyes. And it was only as
we got here before the show I realized that one
of those people are sitting in the front row. So
(05:11):
these three people are here because after singing the night before,
the public voted for their favorite singer and as far
as Australia was concerned, these three weren't that good. Reality
television is sometimes called non scripted, but that is not
entirely true these shows. They will follow the same story
(05:31):
arc of any scripted show. There's an inciting incident, there
is a debate, there's some fun and games which quickly
turned into the elongated moment where all is last and
the character faces the dark Knight of the Soul right
before we resolve the dramatic tension with the reveal of
the final image. However, unlike in a scripted show where
you can build tension over an AD break with the
jeopardy of.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
A chase scene will they get away with?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Unscripted, to make sure you come back after the break,
we use a classic broadcast move of the hook. We
pose a huge question or we promise a high stakes reveal.
Then we line up the hopefuls downstage left. I slip
into my grim reaper voice and then absolutely take the
piss with how long I can stretch this moment out
(06:16):
in order to squeeze the maximum amount of emotion from
these contestants and the maximum amount of buying from the
audience to hook them through five full minutes.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Of ADS, I pull the result card out of my pocket.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
It's come down to this hold for the red lighting
effects that come down, and all the smoke comes out
and there's a drone sound. Oh, you've all come so
far after ten weeks of the public getting behind you.
This is the moment where you find out just how
much Australia believes in you. There can be only one winner,
(06:58):
But there are two of you here, two singers who've
put it all on the line and left nothing on
the table.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Now the song is over and there's no more you
can do.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Who will survive to sing again next week? Who will
be going home so close to the grand finale at
the Sydney Opera House, their dream of winning this competition
never becoming a reality.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
No matter what happens.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
When I read this card, you should both feel proud
of what you've done.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Australia has voted the person.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
With the least amount of votes and leaving the competition.
Tonight is.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Coming up after the break.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Oh God, that sad is so satisfying. I'm pretty sure
I'm an energy vampire. I get such delight from that.
During that commercial break, though, we leave these terrified hopefuls
at the front of the stage. No one comes near
them or tells them anything. We don't. We don't even
let them speak to each other, which really amplifies their
(08:32):
reactions when the name finally drops. Now, this may sound
kind of cruel, but it is for their own good.
Doesn't matter if they win or lose on camera they
have to look like they care, otherwise the public will
tear them to shreds. While they are in an ever
increasing state of anxiety. A camera crew run over to
me and James already rolling. You see, we are filming
(08:53):
a behind the scenes straight for Channel D and Jim
and I are in the habit of challenging each other
to do increasingly bonkers stuff during the broadcast. Later, these
setups will get cut together with the show that actually
goes to air. We're in control of a multimillion dollar
TV franchise and we're treating it like it's a prank
YouTube channel. But thankfully the network never watches our other show,
(09:16):
which is good because.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
We're being very, very naughty boys.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Notable instances include sneaking over to the AUTOQ desk during
a break to leave a surprise in the other's script,
which in one episode, if you watch quite closely during
the closing credits, you can clearly see on the AUTOCU
screen at the back of the studio go fuck Yourself.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Australia.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
In season four, the contestant Chris Murphy is about to
sing the Steedee Wrights song EV, a classic.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Of Australian rock and we challenge him to change.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
The lyrics of the opening line being the steelyyed son
of a Vietnam Vet.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
He doesn't even blink. Oh you're ron. This moment is
still on YouTube. I checked this.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Afternoon, and you can watch as Chris Murphy on live
national television fearlessly rises to our challenge as he hammers
his classic Gibson Les Paul Jr. He's playing guitar, he
plays the riff and he sings at the top of
his lungs.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I got some money in my pocket.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
No, no, I got my cuckets in my hand. It's
clear as day.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
He went to air. The shorthand.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Nicknames we have for everything extend to time, because in
television you often have to move a camera, or a
director needs a moment to get a reaction shot. Sometimes
you need a big pause, sometimes a little pause. We're
referred to these as polar bear and Koala. If you've
ever wondered why we waited so fucking long to read
(10:59):
the name of person who is eliminated, I'm grateful that
I can finally tell you The truth is that there
was a long running game of brinksmanship between James and I,
challenging each other to wait longer and longer to say
this name. But we had to wait anyway because our
director needs time. He's got to get single shot, single shot,
(11:20):
wide shot, tied two. It's about three or so seconds.
Now I know that I'm good to finally say the name.
When in my earpiece our director's assistant, Madeline, not the
Lily Allen one Maddie. She tells me we're clear by
using the surname of the runner up for season two,
(11:40):
Khalia James challenges me first six pandas sorry, six polar bears.
Each polar bear is about three seconds, which is an
ear in television time. I'm like, watch this, so I'm
holding the card, it's open in my hand, leaving the
competition is in my ear Maddie is screaming Khalia Khalia,
(12:08):
like it's some sort of magic spell that will make
me stop being an idiot.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
But I stand fast. We're on live national television. No
one can do anything.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
It's very cheeky and gosh, it's incredibly satisfying. Greg my
executive producer, wrestles a microphone off Maddie and says.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Jay, say the fucking name, Laura Chizzara.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
It's amazing during the absolute drubbing I get from the
execs after that episode, I fortify myself against the onslaught
by feasting on the delicious irony that I am getting
lectured about wasting time on a television show which only
exists to waste airtime.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
But that's it. I'm having my vengeance.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
The following week, I challenged James nine polar bears. Never
wanted to be afraid of a challenge his mate. I'm
all in, I'll do ten. Sure enough, the drum roll
hits big timpering roll book. I'm counting in my head
once we get past six. Our floor manager Kyle, he's
(13:18):
wildly signaling to Jimmy at the bottom of the stage.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Here at eight, Greg, the EP is now in my ears, screaming,
grab the cat and read the fucking names. Grab the cat.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
But no, no, Greg, I won't.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
This moment is just too delicious.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
And then the straightest of straight men to ever walk
the earth throws in an extra polar Bear for good measure,
and a full thirty seconds of primetime pre GFC TV
advertising time valued it well over one hundred and fifty
thousand dollars slips into the ether. Millie Edwards and the
(13:57):
crowd goes fucking wild at this point. What we do
in this show is we hand whoever's leading a microphone
and through traumatic snot bubble tears, make sure that probably
the last time they lever seeing on television is when
they're utterly humiliated and heartbroken.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Oh fuck off, you're not above it.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
This is the reason why reality television is so popular.
It's the reason why you slowed down at a car crash.
It makes you feel better because it's not happening to you.
It's why you watch maths. Trust me on that, I've
seen the research. No matter what your job, sometimes your
(14:41):
work will follow you home. My aunt, Sylvia, she was
a high school teacher and she couldn't leave her high
school teacher voice at work. My brother and I one
Saturday afternoon a fucking about while we visit them. We're
in there her swimming pool, just fucking about being idiots,
and she calls out from the kitchen with a Queensland
vowel that would just peel paint, but she.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Calls it with such ferocity. Freeze mid cannon balls, just
like mid air. And I'm no different.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Coming from a background of radio and television it affects
the way that I talk at home, and this utterly
infuriates my wife, My.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Wonderful wife, Audrey, who's here tonight.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
She will ask me, oh, did the babysitter get back
to you about Saturday? She did, and it's pretty obvious
that at this busy time of year, because with her UNI,
her touch fixtures and the volunteer work she's been, she's
been pretty hard to track down. I said a text
on Tuesday, but by Thursday she still hadn't replied. And look,
I've seen that the show we're going to, the tickets
(15:33):
are sold out, so I'm going to have to get
her to come earlier so that we can leave time
to park.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
A little bit for Fox Sakens. You make it on night? Yeah,
she can. Why are you so cranky? Do you need
some chicken?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I know that I am infuriating to live with, but
the worst of war is that it's no longer me.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Worst of all for my wife. That is because I'm
one of the.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
People that my son watched to communicate while he learned
to speak, so he emulates some of my affectations in
a way which fills my heart with joy and is
possibly pushing my long suffering wife to the edge. When
Wilfire was barely three, we set out at two thirty
am to drive from Sydney to my in law's place
(16:22):
and our in author Brisbane, eleven hundred kilometers away. We
downloaded all the episodes of Blaze and the Monster Machines.
We're prepped in for being in the car for the
next twelve hours straight. We get out of the driveway
not fifty meters down the road before the first corner.
If I look behind you, I could still see the
house and a small, knowing voice rises from the boost
to seat behind us.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Are we there? Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
The other day my friend Cam asks Wolfe, Hey, you
like riding your bike.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
You'll never believe this.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
On Christmas morning, I opened all my presents and what
I had asked for wasn't there. I tried not to
be too sad, but inside I was a bit upset
because I'd asked Santa specifically for a bike.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
I wasn't gonna cry, but I was still sad. And
then there was a knock at the door. I got
up to answer it.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
There was nobody there, and when I looked around, what
was standing right there?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
In Nana in Papa's front yard. What had I asked
Santa for?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
It was a bike, but what I saw it was
bigger than my other bike.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I thought there's no way I could ride.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
This, But when I went to get on it, guess what.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
It was the perfect fit. Santa nailed it. I love
riding that bike.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
He's six years old and Wolfgang has just performed a
perfect double hook.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
He's built to a big reveal.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
And to get as much jeopardy out of the moment
as he positively can. He has seamlessly inserted.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Four whole polar bears.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
The whole time, his mother is behind him, pinching the
bridge of her nose, slowly shaking her head. I I'm
caught in a freeze frame like mister Miyaghi. The had
a croat kid Part one with a smile on my
face that says that's my boy. And there you have it.
(18:20):
Story Club returns for live shows in February. The YouTube
channel is live if you want to watch me say
that story that you just heard. The videos also quite fun.
It's on YouTube. The link is in the show notes.
That's also I've put Rosy Wardle in the story that
she told a little while back up as well, because
she and I did a fantastically fun podcast. I was
on her episode of Just the Gist, and It's been
(18:41):
a little while since I've hosted a reality show, so
I felt it's probably safe for me to start talking
about a few things of how things work on a
show like that. And we talked a lot about Bachelor
and Golden Bachelor, and it was really really fun to
talk about the production process and how things work on
a show like that and how we get to there,
and just spelling a couple of myths, but also revealing
(19:03):
a few things that I'm not you know, by any way,
you know, showing how the sausage is made, but kind
of explaining a bit more of how we get to
where we get and how you end up with what
you see, and maybe a few clues as to how
to become a better and more enrolled and involved watch
through a reality television, because I do point out a
few things to look for that make any reality show
more kind of fun to watch, and they're everywhere you
(19:25):
know what to look for. But yeah, that was on
Rosie's podcast Just Just which you can find wherever you
found this one. Thanks for listening. Thanks to Adam A.
Bunch of cutting it together. Please like this episode, share
it follow If there's someone in your life that was
an Australian Idol super fan, please do share it with
them too. I hope they enjoy it. Thank you so
much for listening.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
I'll see you Wednesday,
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Thanks for dayloading the show. This is Better than Yesterday.
Useful tools and useful conversations to help make your day
to day better than yesterday. Every episode since twenty thirteen.
By Name's Osha Ginsburg. I'm very glad you're here. I'm
a podcast an author, a TV host.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
I'm a dad, I'm a stepdad.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I am someone who has been Oh he used to
host television, but at the moment, I'm hosting a delightful
pathogen that I eldest brought back from her overseas adventures.
The whole house has gone through a gastro adventure. My
fucking god, man, but gastro is so bad. I had
to go to the doctor. Audrey don't want to look
(00:39):
at me yesterday. Who's like, just you're gonna have to
go go now. So I went and I sat down
in front of a doctor and I'm just a lot
like death warmed up. And he says the two worst
things about gastro is one you think you're gonna die,
and two you think you won't. And he's not wrong
because at you know, one point thirty in the morning,
when I'm oh, my god, feel like my soul has
(01:02):
been removed but I didn't leave. I didn't want to
leave you without a podcast today, and so it's a
bit of a treat. But it's also, I guess, in
alignment with the Mrahiano episode which we had on Wednesday.
We spoke a bit about her time on Australian Idol,
and so it's a bit of a treat today in
a bit of alignment with that. And to celebrate that
the story Club YouTube is finally live, I finally got
(01:24):
it up there. I'm going to share a story from
our most recent story Club show in November. The theme
was the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and
it's related to Mraciano because I first met her on
the TV show Australian Idol singing competition show. And if
you remember that show or any kind of show where
there's a moment where somebody reads a card to say
your name. On Idol, we take a long time to
(01:47):
say those names. For example, and the person leaving is.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Jonathan. You know, if you've ever wondered.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Why, Hopefully this will finally reveal the very true reason,
and also a few other things that I still can't
believe actually made it to air. Because we're very cheeky
about how we did things. If you want to watch
this story, I'll put it up on YouTube right now.
The link is in the show notes. Story Club returns
for live gigs in February. It's a monthly storytelling show
(02:18):
where there's only two rules. The story must be true
and the story must be less than fifteen hundred words.
So we're back in a moment with that, I do
need to play some ads, so just hold fire. I'll
be right back. All right, let's get into this. Going
(02:38):
to take you to the Factory Theater in Marrickville in
the inner west of Sydney. It's a Sunday night, the
ninth of November twenty twenty five. I'm sitting in a
big comfy armchair in a collared shirt covered in ibis,
feasting on willibins. I have a huge storybook in my lap.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
And if you did.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Get nostalgic listening to m Rociano talking about the Australian
idle times, I hope you enjoy this behind the scenes
peak and a bit of a revelation about some of
the chaos and cheekiness that we were getting up to.
But everyone was thankful, a little bit too busy to.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Notice unless you're about to find.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Out on what was at the time the most watched
television program in Australian history.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
We were very naughty. Boys. Enjoy.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
It's twenty past eight on a Monday night and I
am about to execute perfectly a downward Donahue right into
a Surgey book cup. We're about to eliminate one of
the finalists on Australian Idol, but not before they sing
as a group for one final time. It's live TV
(03:54):
and time is tied, so to avoid confusion, we use
shorthand names for the up to thirty camera moves and
camera positions that we will use across a two hour
television show. There's no time to say okay, everybody. In
thirty seconds, we're going to repod to a reverse shot
where g is walking down the staircase and then chat
on camera right to someone's mum in the aisle when
he's about halfway. And then while we wait while the
(04:16):
steady cam clears the shot, we're going to switch to
the jib, the camera on the big long arm, which
is already a motion to swing across the crowd, and
then we take the shot as the song starts. So
instead my floor manager says, Okaja thirty left on the
break and then we're down with Donnie here right to
a Sergey book. Cup book is in the Ukrainian pole,
Vaulter camera pole anyway, look anyway and Donna Hue being
(04:39):
filled on who the talk show host who would walk.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Down the island and talk to people.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
So the cameras in front of me are beaming live
pictures to over two million Australian homes. To my right
my friend and co host James Matheson, and to my
left three shit scared young Australians with naive dreams of
singing stardom in their eyes. And it was only as
we got here before the show I realized that one
of those people are sitting in the front row. So
(05:11):
these three people are here because after singing the night before,
the public voted for their favorite singer and as far
as Australia was concerned, these three weren't that good. Reality
television is sometimes called non scripted, but that is not
entirely true these shows. They will follow the same story
(05:31):
arc of any scripted show. There's an inciting incident, there
is a debate, there's some fun and games which quickly
turned into the elongated moment where all is last and
the character faces the dark Knight of the Soul right
before we resolve the dramatic tension with the reveal of
the final image. However, unlike in a scripted show where
you can build tension over an AD break with the
jeopardy of.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
A chase scene will they get away with?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Unscripted, to make sure you come back after the break,
we use a classic broadcast move of the hook. We
pose a huge question or we promise a high stakes reveal.
Then we line up the hopefuls downstage left. I slip
into my grim reaper voice and then absolutely take the
piss with how long I can stretch this moment out
(06:16):
in order to squeeze the maximum amount of emotion from
these contestants and the maximum amount of buying from the
audience to hook them through five full minutes.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Of ADS, I pull the result card out of my pocket.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
It's come down to this hold for the red lighting
effects that come down, and all the smoke comes out
and there's a drone sound. Oh, you've all come so
far after ten weeks of the public getting behind you.
This is the moment where you find out just how
much Australia believes in you. There can be only one winner,
(06:58):
But there are two of you here, two singers who've
put it all on the line and left nothing on
the table.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Now the song is over and there's no more you
can do.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Who will survive to sing again next week? Who will
be going home so close to the grand finale at
the Sydney Opera House, their dream of winning this competition
never becoming a reality.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
No matter what happens.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
When I read this card, you should both feel proud
of what you've done.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Australia has voted the person.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
With the least amount of votes and leaving the competition.
Tonight is.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Coming up after the break.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Oh God, that sad is so satisfying. I'm pretty sure
I'm an energy vampire. I get such delight from that.
During that commercial break, though, we leave these terrified hopefuls
at the front of the stage. No one comes near
them or tells them anything. We don't. We don't even
let them speak to each other, which really amplifies their
(08:32):
reactions when the name finally drops. Now, this may sound
kind of cruel, but it is for their own good.
Doesn't matter if they win or lose on camera they
have to look like they care, otherwise the public will
tear them to shreds. While they are in an ever
increasing state of anxiety. A camera crew run over to
me and James already rolling. You see, we are filming
(08:53):
a behind the scenes straight for Channel D and Jim
and I are in the habit of challenging each other
to do increasingly bonkers stuff during the broadcast. Later, these
setups will get cut together with the show that actually
goes to air. We're in control of a multimillion dollar
TV franchise and we're treating it like it's a prank
YouTube channel. But thankfully the network never watches our other show,
(09:16):
which is good because.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
We're being very, very naughty boys.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Notable instances include sneaking over to the AUTOQ desk during
a break to leave a surprise in the other's script,
which in one episode, if you watch quite closely during
the closing credits, you can clearly see on the AUTOCU
screen at the back of the studio go fuck Yourself.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Australia.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
In season four, the contestant Chris Murphy is about to
sing the Steedee Wrights song EV, a classic.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Of Australian rock and we challenge him to change.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
The lyrics of the opening line being the steelyyed son
of a Vietnam Vet.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
He doesn't even blink. Oh you're ron. This moment is
still on YouTube. I checked this.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Afternoon, and you can watch as Chris Murphy on live
national television fearlessly rises to our challenge as he hammers
his classic Gibson Les Paul Jr. He's playing guitar, he
plays the riff and he sings at the top of
his lungs.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I got some money in my pocket.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
No, no, I got my cuckets in my hand. It's
clear as day.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
He went to air. The shorthand.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Nicknames we have for everything extend to time, because in
television you often have to move a camera, or a
director needs a moment to get a reaction shot. Sometimes
you need a big pause, sometimes a little pause. We're
referred to these as polar bear and Koala. If you've
ever wondered why we waited so fucking long to read
(10:59):
the name of person who is eliminated, I'm grateful that
I can finally tell you The truth is that there
was a long running game of brinksmanship between James and I,
challenging each other to wait longer and longer to say
this name. But we had to wait anyway because our
director needs time. He's got to get single shot, single shot,
(11:20):
wide shot, tied two. It's about three or so seconds.
Now I know that I'm good to finally say the name.
When in my earpiece our director's assistant, Madeline, not the
Lily Allen one Maddie. She tells me we're clear by
using the surname of the runner up for season two,
(11:40):
Khalia James challenges me first six pandas sorry, six polar bears.
Each polar bear is about three seconds, which is an
ear in television time. I'm like, watch this, so I'm
holding the card, it's open in my hand, leaving the
competition is in my ear Maddie is screaming Khalia Khalia,
(12:08):
like it's some sort of magic spell that will make
me stop being an idiot.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
But I stand fast. We're on live national television. No
one can do anything.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
It's very cheeky and gosh, it's incredibly satisfying. Greg my
executive producer, wrestles a microphone off Maddie and says.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Jay, say the fucking name, Laura Chizzara.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
It's amazing during the absolute drubbing I get from the
execs after that episode, I fortify myself against the onslaught
by feasting on the delicious irony that I am getting
lectured about wasting time on a television show which only
exists to waste airtime.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
But that's it. I'm having my vengeance.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
The following week, I challenged James nine polar bears. Never
wanted to be afraid of a challenge his mate. I'm
all in, I'll do ten. Sure enough, the drum roll
hits big timpering roll book. I'm counting in my head
once we get past six. Our floor manager Kyle, he's
(13:18):
wildly signaling to Jimmy at the bottom of the stage.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Here at eight, Greg, the EP is now in my ears, screaming,
grab the cat and read the fucking names. Grab the cat.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
But no, no, Greg, I won't.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
This moment is just too delicious.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
And then the straightest of straight men to ever walk
the earth throws in an extra polar Bear for good measure,
and a full thirty seconds of primetime pre GFC TV
advertising time valued it well over one hundred and fifty
thousand dollars slips into the ether. Millie Edwards and the
(13:57):
crowd goes fucking wild at this point. What we do
in this show is we hand whoever's leading a microphone
and through traumatic snot bubble tears, make sure that probably
the last time they lever seeing on television is when
they're utterly humiliated and heartbroken.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Oh fuck off, you're not above it.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
This is the reason why reality television is so popular.
It's the reason why you slowed down at a car crash.
It makes you feel better because it's not happening to you.
It's why you watch maths. Trust me on that, I've
seen the research. No matter what your job, sometimes your
(14:41):
work will follow you home. My aunt, Sylvia, she was
a high school teacher and she couldn't leave her high
school teacher voice at work. My brother and I one
Saturday afternoon a fucking about while we visit them. We're
in there her swimming pool, just fucking about being idiots,
and she calls out from the kitchen with a Queensland
vowel that would just peel paint, but she.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Calls it with such ferocity. Freeze mid cannon balls, just
like mid air. And I'm no different.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Coming from a background of radio and television it affects
the way that I talk at home, and this utterly
infuriates my wife, My.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Wonderful wife, Audrey, who's here tonight.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
She will ask me, oh, did the babysitter get back
to you about Saturday? She did, and it's pretty obvious
that at this busy time of year, because with her UNI,
her touch fixtures and the volunteer work she's been, she's
been pretty hard to track down. I said a text
on Tuesday, but by Thursday she still hadn't replied. And look,
I've seen that the show we're going to, the tickets
(15:33):
are sold out, so I'm going to have to get
her to come earlier so that we can leave time
to park.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
A little bit for Fox Sakens. You make it on night? Yeah,
she can. Why are you so cranky? Do you need
some chicken?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I know that I am infuriating to live with, but
the worst of war is that it's no longer me.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Worst of all for my wife. That is because I'm
one of the.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
People that my son watched to communicate while he learned
to speak, so he emulates some of my affectations in
a way which fills my heart with joy and is
possibly pushing my long suffering wife to the edge. When
Wilfire was barely three, we set out at two thirty
am to drive from Sydney to my in law's place
(16:22):
and our in author Brisbane, eleven hundred kilometers away. We
downloaded all the episodes of Blaze and the Monster Machines.
We're prepped in for being in the car for the
next twelve hours straight. We get out of the driveway
not fifty meters down the road before the first corner.
If I look behind you, I could still see the
house and a small, knowing voice rises from the boost
to seat behind us.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Are we there? Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
The other day my friend Cam asks Wolfe, Hey, you
like riding your bike.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
You'll never believe this.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
On Christmas morning, I opened all my presents and what
I had asked for wasn't there. I tried not to
be too sad, but inside I was a bit upset
because I'd asked Santa specifically for a bike.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
I wasn't gonna cry, but I was still sad. And
then there was a knock at the door. I got
up to answer it.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
There was nobody there, and when I looked around, what
was standing right there?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
In Nana in Papa's front yard. What had I asked
Santa for?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
It was a bike, but what I saw it was
bigger than my other bike.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
I thought there's no way I could ride.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
This, But when I went to get on it, guess what.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
It was the perfect fit. Santa nailed it. I love
riding that bike.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
He's six years old and Wolfgang has just performed a
perfect double hook.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
He's built to a big reveal.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
And to get as much jeopardy out of the moment
as he positively can. He has seamlessly inserted.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Four whole polar bears.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
The whole time, his mother is behind him, pinching the
bridge of her nose, slowly shaking her head. I I'm
caught in a freeze frame like mister Miyaghi. The had
a croat kid Part one with a smile on my
face that says that's my boy. And there you have it.
(18:20):
Story Club returns for live shows in February. The YouTube
channel is live if you want to watch me say
that story that you just heard. The videos also quite fun.
It's on YouTube. The link is in the show notes.
That's also I've put Rosy Wardle in the story that
she told a little while back up as well, because
she and I did a fantastically fun podcast. I was
on her episode of Just the Gist, and It's been
(18:41):
a little while since I've hosted a reality show, so
I felt it's probably safe for me to start talking
about a few things of how things work on a
show like that. And we talked a lot about Bachelor
and Golden Bachelor, and it was really really fun to
talk about the production process and how things work on
a show like that and how we get to there,
and just spelling a couple of myths, but also revealing
(19:03):
a few things that I'm not you know, by any way,
you know, showing how the sausage is made, but kind
of explaining a bit more of how we get to
where we get and how you end up with what
you see, and maybe a few clues as to how
to become a better and more enrolled and involved watch
through a reality television, because I do point out a
few things to look for that make any reality show
more kind of fun to watch, and they're everywhere you
(19:25):
know what to look for. But yeah, that was on
Rosie's podcast Just Just which you can find wherever you
found this one. Thanks for listening. Thanks to Adam A.
Bunch of cutting it together. Please like this episode, share
it follow If there's someone in your life that was
an Australian Idol super fan, please do share it with
them too. I hope they enjoy it. Thank you so
much for listening.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
I'll see you Wednesday,
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