Subconsciously Sabotaging Your Own Success

If you’ve ever felt stuck, frustrated, or like you're spinning your wheels despite putting in effort, this might be what's happening beneath the surface….

You might rationally know what you want—whether it’s raising your prices as a freelancer, launching a new project, or taking a big step forward.

But despite your conscious desire, something always seems just out of reach…

The way to recognize subconscious resistance is to look at areas where you're putting in a lot of effort but never seeing the results you want. It’s like hitting an invisible wall. You get excited, you try, you push, and then suddenly, something stops you. You fall back to where you started, and the cycle repeats.

Usually the subconscious makes itself known through strong fear (ah!), discomfort (in the body), or resistance but you can’t rationally explain why it’s there.

Here are a few examples:

• You know you need to raise your prices, but every time you go to send that email, you freeze up.
• You're about to record your first podcast, but seeing yourself on camera makes you feel terrible.
• A casual conversation suddenly makes you deeply uncomfortable, and you just want to leave.

These are signals that something deeper is at play. In the healing and personal development world, this is often referred to as a “trigger”—an unconscious emotional reaction that doesn’t have an obvious logical cause.

Work with your emotion, not your logic.

The good news is that once you recognize this dynamic, you know where to focus your energy.

Instead of trying to rationally “figure it out” (which can be exhausting and often ineffective), shift your attention inward to observe what’s happening emotionally.

1. Pause When You Feel Resistance – When irrational fear or discomfort shows up, don’t ignore it. Instead, acknowledge it as valuable information. Thank you!
2. Stay With the Emotion – Instead of pushing it away, sit with it. Ask yourself, What am I actually afraid of? Usually the fear is deeper and wider than the task at hand.
3. Identify the Conflict – Example: You want to start a podcast, but deep down, you fear being misunderstood or criticized. This is why there’s a “push-pull” effect – we have a conscious desire and an unconscious fear. 

Curiosity and awareness help you detect the bigger pattern at play. Shockingly, whatever is coming up for you right now related to this fear is probably something that is affecting other areas of your life as well. 

Look for your resistance

If you feel stuck in an area of your life—whether it’s business, relationships, or a creative project—start paying attention to where resistance shows up. Often, there’s another voice at the table, one that isn’t rational but still deeply influences your actions.

Find someone to help you identify, map, and learn more about this fear; be it a coach, therapist or just a good friend! 

Have you noticed any recent irrational fear or discomfort holding you back from something important? 

How do you work with your subconscious fears?