November 3, 2025 • 25 mins
Archie thinks he can get “Crackpot” O’Toole, the forger, to marry movie star, Billie Burke, so they can both make a little money.
Originally aired on February 1, 1944. This is episode 115 of Duffy's Tavern.
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Originally aired on February 1, 1944. This is episode 115 of Duffy's Tavern.
Please email questions and comments to host@classiccomedyotr.com.
Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/classiccomedyotr. Please share this podcast with your friends and family.
You can also subscribe to our podcast on Spreaker.com, Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Google podcasts.
This show is supported by Spreaker Prime.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome to classic comedy of old time radio. I'm your host,
Ron Ecklebarger. Archie thinks he can get Crackpot O'Toole the
forger to marry movie star Billy Burke so that both
him and Crackpot might make a little money. Leave us
listen to this one hundred and fifteenth episode of Duffy's Tavern,
(00:38):
entitled Guest Billy Burke. It originally aired on February one,
nineteen forty four.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Hello, Duffy's Well the last made date hockey to mind,
just taking Duffy ain't here? Who Duppy tonight? H Philly
Fike the movie actor, huh what's he like? Well, just
imagine one of them Sinatra fans grown up? Yeah, yeah,
she plays, And I'm drawing wrong pictures. You know what
(01:25):
what means? You think? Did I just drop some lake
screams down your shaping? Yeah, Philly Fike's a ton of
a female Finnegan, Well, Dupphio. A lot of people get
paid for Van dum, which reminds me, Duppy, how about
that raise?
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Raise more money?
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Raise?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
That's funny, I can hear you. Well, Duffy, you could
give me a dollar raise. How about seventy five cents
fifty tent thirty five. Look, my client's gonna answer this
(02:11):
transaction any minute. Uh, money ain't everything working for you?
It ain't anything I'm for you. Fank Eddie? How that
stuffy hates to spendo? Yeah, Joe hates the.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
Part with money. Don't you know I can't take it
with him.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
There is one guy, Eddie. If he can't take it
with him, I guarantee he don't go. Boy, am I broke?
Look you want you gonny Doheddy? No? Look I got
saying a guy kept your quarter. Let Well let's see it.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Did you fight it?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I did it once, and I did it twice and
before I knute.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
Was gone times.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Do how come he was so suddenly so money contents?
Well you've seen what it's mainly funds and makes me
and I can't afford to buy war funds, you know,
make a lot other guys down. It's no trying to
government wants you to fort ten percent of your salary
and funs. I don't make that much. Really lie too,
(03:24):
he see the comment he's a fammunition if they relied
on you and me, that there shooting babies and we
gotta do something that Eddie, won't your girlfriend Sonya Jones
when you're some door to find puns? Oh no no,
just throw it n because I'm always broke Eddie. Maybe
she don't really love you.
Speaker 5 (03:41):
Oh she loves me, all right. The question is can
she afford me.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Getty?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
If my heart really belongs to your dog, shouldn't have
to into it.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
Oh I belong to me all right. The trouble is
the rest of them goes out with.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
Guy or I do.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Money, morning money. I just gotta raise some dogs. I'm like,
how about your thong? Leave us face it going. You see,
I got a certain amount of income from that. But
I'm talking about real dog five or ten bucks. I
ain't talking about chicken feet. I lotch so I lotch
it so well? Thenigan, how come you do it? Tight
(04:22):
it over Billy bank to a lord set the roy
teasing the fact of dame. And I'm anotherable.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Bachelor, adible Finigan.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
The word is illgible, so logible to Oh it's eligible
as somebody who can't raise can you read?
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Douche?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Wait here comes track door a jack boy.
Speaker 5 (04:57):
You I have cracked my what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Headline? I'm gonna for clot face Clipper, flud Face Clipper,
the Jake Crackett. Yeah, you're just listening me and just
went out for lunch with Clancy to come. What do
you want with flood Face. Well, I'm thinking of giving
up porton and I understand flud Face Monster sell his
face cracking route, but willing or crack file. You retireing
(05:22):
from fortune Jack, Why that's like a bow. But spoiling
was to stop making faithball.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
I can't help it.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
It's getting so I despise the very white boy to me,
crack Bucks. I'm glad your poor old dad ain't around
it here. You stay. Don't worries, crack punal Pool, just
turn to fact Simileool the greatest budget that ever lived.
He'd be hurt, crack Pack if he knows, maybe he
(05:54):
does know, Maybe he knows everything that you do. You
know they hear about them things up and things. Two
generations are forges. Why not the tradition. You shouldn't say,
(06:15):
get crack pot cool generations. The old tools have been
fortuned since the founding of this country. Fun the momentary level, okay,
but look with such your background track Pot, you mean
to tell me you want to become a common ordinary
(06:36):
save Cracker. Well, I've been thought of thinking I'd like
to get married and settled down a little cottage, small
by a waterfall, mule little Wharton to come home too,
and maybe who knows a little crackpot running around? But uh,
why switch to Dave Cracking?
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Well?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Look, God, one day the kid's gonna look up at
me and say, Daddy, what's your lying?
Speaker 5 (07:00):
No?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Wait, if I say forge it, it sounds like a sissy.
What if I say, Sonny, last night your daddy blew
open the Whites National Bank says something he can brag
about to his little playmate. But thanks part getting married.
That marriage is poison. You know, that is a sentence
where there ain't no pharule, and good behavior only makes
(07:21):
it last longer. What's wrong with marriage?
Speaker 5 (07:29):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Nothing is wonderful, but not the single guys. Belave me
for a bachelor's poison.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
Don't resten to him. Marriage is the most normal experienced
a man can go through.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Anime propaganda.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Now listen Messduffie radio program.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I listened to what radio program?
Speaker 5 (07:49):
Twen's second husson?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Yes, another one of them day time.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Stereo MI when has absolutely been taken?
Speaker 2 (07:57):
M two Mounds, who says, though.
Speaker 7 (07:59):
He announced it, it's the start of the Still Millicent,
who's made some true husbands supremely happy?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Just a minute. If these guys was also supremely happy,
why did they all divorces?
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Frank Diddin say, mostly kurve themselves.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Oh god, how much happiness can a guy stand? Look?
How often does this Millican get a new husband?
Speaker 5 (08:27):
Bobby week?
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Every week a guy get bumped off with the boys,
so have to they have to whine?
Speaker 7 (08:33):
Foxy eyes who have a program every time they have
a context for the name of a husband who stopped.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Mendy, You mean they change the name of the program
every week, like from twenty second to twenty third husband
next week and twenty fourth husband and so on?
Speaker 5 (08:50):
Sump out.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
What did they call the program when it started?
Speaker 5 (08:55):
Mason them walk out?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Brother a husband awake? Who sponsors this program? Had? Oh? Well,
tell me who is the Milican's slatest victim.
Speaker 5 (09:11):
His name is subject pet.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Sounds like a cat?
Speaker 5 (09:21):
Yes, yes, yes, this is.
Speaker 7 (09:23):
Who had offends? Who's been getting him to fred Sus
and Millicent's nights?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Now?
Speaker 5 (09:28):
He has been a radney when all the.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Aican the guy ish forging checks in Millicent's name, and
him and his friends is rolling in zoom, gregfat, are
you listening to this?
Speaker 5 (09:40):
To me?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
It's very boring? To me, it's very interesting, Greg Pott.
You were talking about getting married before. Have you ever
seen Billy Burke Billy Boyce. Yeah, dame would a fact
checking account and a simple signature, a same like Billy
count And with that little gift of yours, you marry
(10:04):
her and the both of us is in the doom.
But all right, didn't you just tell me to marriage
his present? Beside? How everything that is to be Frank
with you know, ain't Billy the kids? But uh, you've
got to remember you see, and all the tame is
always more mature. H Look are you listening to me?
Speaker 5 (10:26):
What are you looking at?
Speaker 2 (10:27):
There? Now there's a tomato. I wouldn't mind marrying Frank Pot.
That ain't no tomato. That's Bane Vanuda, the singer, very
high class tomato. Strify Clark ave you oh a tomato? Huh?
And with twenty a letter? Hey, what do you have
(10:49):
to pay a dame like that? What you're saying, why
do you have to pay.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
A dame like that?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Nothing? Me? No, So why does she wake it she
needs to do. Then how about it? Song?
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Okay, claud go way she.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Sounds Johnny, Hey, Tomato, howks about your aplot? Do not
trinkle with this dame's emotions. Don't forget you are practically
and engaged. Men things, the night.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
Life, the game.
Speaker 6 (11:27):
But you can play it all them all, every chap
good hold of hard to call his own.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Love.
Speaker 5 (11:41):
Make come back. First night they called me one night,
are you I you? I have found the owen when
I all you, I know that you know that I'll
(12:02):
go where you go.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I can't.
Speaker 5 (12:08):
I wish you know how much I long to hold
you win my arm. It's tis my time. Want to
me the time time? Send in the starm.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Holy T with one more little kids.
Speaker 5 (12:23):
Say ninety nine, I know that you know that I'll
go where you go.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I do you lose you?
Speaker 5 (12:35):
I wish you knew how much I long you ow you.
Send in the storm, Holy Ti with one market, one
mark one mother, my.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Not stay no, A little you.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
Saying in the groove and my chock him right on
the brother.
Speaker 7 (13:18):
So thank you, Eddie. I'm not doing that, joy Cow,
I'm let me sick, and I guess yes, you must
be off me, I'm not king. Well, I certainly enjoy
(13:43):
that I'm not.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
I went the way.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
I am a hut.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
Oh, so who are you Archie? I tay your body,
I said, I am unche. That's changed. You look just
like him?
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Why cool like Archie?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
But I am him set.
Speaker 5 (14:05):
I still think the resemblance he's remark of it.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
So your archy, well, now I ain't so sure.
Speaker 7 (14:18):
Where the next time I recognize you by your face?
Do have an easy take to remember your poor things?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Look, there is nothing wrong with my faith.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
That's just sity you thinking that is no one can hurt.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Oh look beat out of that may and maybe it might.
But how how did the joint look to you? Miss f.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:46):
Yeah, yes, the tamers. It was not he that would
be changed.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Not even the table cloth spike and table clot was
kind over only just last week? And fight them are
how come you remember the table clot and you don't
remember me?
Speaker 5 (15:00):
You guys, do reget the news you are. I'm Auntie Auntie.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
The table for his name is the paranoiac. Oh and
I said, oh yeah, mister Clifton Finningan, this is miss
Billy fake.
Speaker 5 (15:22):
How do you do?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
You're cute? Yes you too, Yeah, but yes to then no,
no your s oh one of them stubborn.
Speaker 5 (15:35):
We're all right, I'm hidden you. But you're much student,
much more intelligence.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Oh god, your more intelligence than you?
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Oh no, no your more intelligence?
Speaker 4 (15:48):
No no you will, no, no you are.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
This one will be a dead heat.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
Where it's my you had had they can talk with you.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
I'm stu lighted too? Where so goodbye wisdom? Oh you
interesting conversation?
Speaker 5 (16:20):
Yeah, doty, everyone could be very puppy. Was an intelligent
man like that?
Speaker 2 (16:24):
You know?
Speaker 7 (16:24):
Sometimes I take to myself, why don't you accept an
afro of matice from some intelligent man? Then I answer
myself and I say, silly, No intelligent man will ever
at you.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Well, maybe I can help you out.
Speaker 5 (16:38):
That makes fake?
Speaker 2 (16:40):
How would you like to settle down in a little
cottage small by a waterfall? So wait a minute, I
came here to talk for crackpot. Hell up, I gotta
guy me and named Jack crack plannel too young, attractive,
(17:00):
hard worker.
Speaker 5 (17:01):
What did he do?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
He writes? A nice, sour dettle kind of a guy,
you know, not one of them flighty guys. This guy
has been known to stay in one spot for from
five to ten years. I think you should meet him.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
Well I started the dunking. He is staying there.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Almost sounds like yeah, I guess it's done.
Speaker 5 (17:27):
Well, what's that bring?
Speaker 4 (17:30):
Okay, I've been thinking it over.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
I can't marry this name, crackpots. You're patreontic duty. Look,
the government asked me to buy Barnes. How can I
buy burns unless you marry this name and get me
some dough. I go buy that. By not doing it,
you want to trade it to your country. Well watch
(19:11):
if it for me country, that's fatter that fatter, crack Now,
let's see how you look. You got on pressing trait
in your time. Gee, they gave you a bum suit
this time. Now?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Now look, what are you gonna say to Mt Fike
when you made a.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
For instance, if you are going to ask around the time, well,
I say, how about you or me going out and
tying on the feedbag? Crack five?
Speaker 5 (19:40):
Why explain that has caught me?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Of course? Track fix? Really your ghost a goat? Uh? No,
you say, miss fake, I am charmed Wo's kid through
sup supper or what's kid to chop up shupper with me?
It's fortnights this wasn't it? Wasn't it? In English word
(20:06):
means French. Look, we better practice that. Come here finn again,
Look Mike, belavior of dame. See, I want the crackpot
to try something, So.
Speaker 5 (20:15):
What's it gonna draw.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
It?
Speaker 4 (20:25):
The idea is meeting a dame.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Now you beat a dame. Okay, now crack fi let's
try it, Crackpot meet miss Finnigan.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Hello, Miss Finnigan. Are you busy tonight? Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
I was gonna stay home and rinse out of your things.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Don't fly so good?
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Now crackpot a compliment?
Speaker 4 (20:46):
Okay, archie, Miss Finnigan.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Them's lovely diamond j is wearing?
Speaker 5 (20:50):
Gosh? Oh dis is work? You're going great?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Backpot going great? Now it's the proposal, Miss Pinnigan. How's
about us getting hitched to?
Speaker 5 (21:07):
Will you support me?
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (21:09):
So will you? Penny Clouds?
Speaker 4 (21:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (21:12):
Was you five me a beautiful house?
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (21:14):
So to you.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
I wish there was a dame, so I think you
wonderfuls backpo Hey, yuads, you got me practicing with a moron.
Why do you think you're gonna propose to you?
Speaker 4 (21:34):
See?
Speaker 2 (21:34):
I want your training under actual babble conditions, so I'll
be going if nobody wants me.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Okay, Flenn again the doctor.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Yeah Eddie, Now to me, this whole thing sounds jailly Eddie.
You mean that you're trying to discharge me from buying
bun but you don't get it the trouble.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Don't worry.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
You just came his fool proof you are a fool
and live at the pool. Tell me that your steptic
come on backpie, I go, oh, miss Brake, Miss Brake,
I would like to present you with mister Oto. Uh,
mister road too, let's bike. Let's fokes, mister road too.
Crack fip crack fie. How do you do miss boke O?
(22:22):
Me Billy? That name strikes a tender note me Billy,
I was once hit over the head with a billy?
Speaker 5 (22:36):
Well, well, isn't it a small world? I would rather
here if we have something in common.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
You mean you w was hit over the head with
a billy?
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Pool?
Speaker 5 (22:45):
No, no, no, in my place with the can is next.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
The stemad and shoul mate to you whenever I get time.
He reads quite a bit.
Speaker 5 (23:05):
Have you have you run across a tree roading booklet?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Is it near ebbitts Field?
Speaker 5 (23:11):
Well? I don't know I'm only up to take for.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Well, what joan want to check chat crack pot the quest, Oh.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
Miss boyt, would you care to honor me by marrying me?
This fortnt.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Then if your too lie. Don't usually marry paying men,
but I feel that you are a man. I can check.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Well, you're sayin me?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Can I used to be a trustee? Uh yeah, crack
flat used to be with a bank, you know, on
the board of trusty.
Speaker 5 (23:44):
I get your proposal?
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Good good? Uh?
Speaker 4 (23:47):
This point?
Speaker 2 (23:48):
On which bank do you carry your checking account?
Speaker 5 (23:52):
Checking account? I couldn't think of having a checking account.
All my money is in.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Rob no checking account. Hey, you're jipe and whooped in.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Don't look at me.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
I warned you. I told you Marge was poisons for factless.
Don't blame ninteen ichie thinking out, Duffy, Can.
Speaker 5 (24:15):
I try that next week?
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Up? Make your bowls, it's gonna be here. Hey, hey, kidding,
make your bog from the amate hower. Yeah, I can
hardly wake me up everybody. He'll be around here. Good night, Duffy.
Speaker 8 (24:26):
Dog three Podcasts is the presentation of the Armed Forces
(24:56):
Video System.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Please send your questions and comments to host at CLASSICCOMEDYOTR
dot com until next time. In the words of Martha Trolly,
curtain time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
Welcome to classic comedy of old time radio. I'm your host,
Ron Ecklebarger. Archie thinks he can get Crackpot O'Toole the
forger to marry movie star Billy Burke so that both
him and Crackpot might make a little money. Leave us
listen to this one hundred and fifteenth episode of Duffy's Tavern,
(00:38):
entitled Guest Billy Burke. It originally aired on February one,
nineteen forty four.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Hello, Duffy's Well the last made date hockey to mind,
just taking Duffy ain't here? Who Duppy tonight? H Philly
Fike the movie actor, huh what's he like? Well, just
imagine one of them Sinatra fans grown up? Yeah, yeah,
she plays, And I'm drawing wrong pictures. You know what
(01:25):
what means? You think? Did I just drop some lake
screams down your shaping? Yeah, Philly Fike's a ton of
a female Finnegan, Well, Dupphio. A lot of people get
paid for Van dum, which reminds me, Duppy, how about
that raise?
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Raise more money?
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Raise?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
That's funny, I can hear you. Well, Duffy, you could
give me a dollar raise. How about seventy five cents
fifty tent thirty five. Look, my client's gonna answer this
(02:11):
transaction any minute. Uh, money ain't everything working for you?
It ain't anything I'm for you. Fank Eddie? How that
stuffy hates to spendo? Yeah, Joe hates the.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
Part with money. Don't you know I can't take it
with him.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
There is one guy, Eddie. If he can't take it
with him, I guarantee he don't go. Boy, am I broke?
Look you want you gonny Doheddy? No? Look I got
saying a guy kept your quarter. Let Well let's see it.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Did you fight it?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I did it once, and I did it twice and
before I knute.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
Was gone times.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Do how come he was so suddenly so money contents?
Well you've seen what it's mainly funds and makes me
and I can't afford to buy war funds, you know,
make a lot other guys down. It's no trying to
government wants you to fort ten percent of your salary
and funs. I don't make that much. Really lie too,
(03:24):
he see the comment he's a fammunition if they relied
on you and me, that there shooting babies and we
gotta do something that Eddie, won't your girlfriend Sonya Jones
when you're some door to find puns? Oh no no,
just throw it n because I'm always broke Eddie. Maybe
she don't really love you.
Speaker 5 (03:41):
Oh she loves me, all right. The question is can
she afford me.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Getty?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
If my heart really belongs to your dog, shouldn't have
to into it.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
Oh I belong to me all right. The trouble is
the rest of them goes out with.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
Guy or I do.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Money, morning money. I just gotta raise some dogs. I'm like,
how about your thong? Leave us face it going. You see,
I got a certain amount of income from that. But
I'm talking about real dog five or ten bucks. I
ain't talking about chicken feet. I lotch so I lotch
it so well? Thenigan, how come you do it? Tight
(04:22):
it over Billy bank to a lord set the roy
teasing the fact of dame. And I'm anotherable.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Bachelor, adible Finigan.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
The word is illgible, so logible to Oh it's eligible
as somebody who can't raise can you read?
Speaker 4 (04:52):
Douche?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Wait here comes track door a jack boy.
Speaker 5 (04:57):
You I have cracked my what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Headline? I'm gonna for clot face Clipper, flud Face Clipper,
the Jake Crackett. Yeah, you're just listening me and just
went out for lunch with Clancy to come. What do
you want with flood Face. Well, I'm thinking of giving
up porton and I understand flud Face Monster sell his
face cracking route, but willing or crack file. You retireing
(05:22):
from fortune Jack, Why that's like a bow. But spoiling
was to stop making faithball.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
I can't help it.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
It's getting so I despise the very white boy to me,
crack Bucks. I'm glad your poor old dad ain't around
it here. You stay. Don't worries, crack punal Pool, just
turn to fact Simileool the greatest budget that ever lived.
He'd be hurt, crack Pack if he knows, maybe he
(05:54):
does know, Maybe he knows everything that you do. You
know they hear about them things up and things. Two
generations are forges. Why not the tradition. You shouldn't say,
(06:15):
get crack pot cool generations. The old tools have been
fortuned since the founding of this country. Fun the momentary level, okay,
but look with such your background track Pot, you mean
to tell me you want to become a common ordinary
(06:36):
save Cracker. Well, I've been thought of thinking I'd like
to get married and settled down a little cottage, small
by a waterfall, mule little Wharton to come home too,
and maybe who knows a little crackpot running around? But uh,
why switch to Dave Cracking?
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Well?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Look, God, one day the kid's gonna look up at
me and say, Daddy, what's your lying?
Speaker 5 (07:00):
No?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Wait, if I say forge it, it sounds like a sissy.
What if I say, Sonny, last night your daddy blew
open the Whites National Bank says something he can brag
about to his little playmate. But thanks part getting married.
That marriage is poison. You know, that is a sentence
where there ain't no pharule, and good behavior only makes
(07:21):
it last longer. What's wrong with marriage?
Speaker 5 (07:29):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Nothing is wonderful, but not the single guys. Belave me
for a bachelor's poison.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
Don't resten to him. Marriage is the most normal experienced
a man can go through.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Anime propaganda.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Now listen Messduffie radio program.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I listened to what radio program?
Speaker 5 (07:49):
Twen's second husson?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Yes, another one of them day time.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Stereo MI when has absolutely been taken?
Speaker 2 (07:57):
M two Mounds, who says, though.
Speaker 7 (07:59):
He announced it, it's the start of the Still Millicent,
who's made some true husbands supremely happy?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Just a minute. If these guys was also supremely happy,
why did they all divorces?
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Frank Diddin say, mostly kurve themselves.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Oh god, how much happiness can a guy stand? Look?
How often does this Millican get a new husband?
Speaker 5 (08:27):
Bobby week?
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Every week a guy get bumped off with the boys,
so have to they have to whine?
Speaker 7 (08:33):
Foxy eyes who have a program every time they have
a context for the name of a husband who stopped.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Mendy, You mean they change the name of the program
every week, like from twenty second to twenty third husband
next week and twenty fourth husband and so on?
Speaker 5 (08:50):
Sump out.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
What did they call the program when it started?
Speaker 5 (08:55):
Mason them walk out?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Brother a husband awake? Who sponsors this program? Had? Oh? Well,
tell me who is the Milican's slatest victim.
Speaker 5 (09:11):
His name is subject pet.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Sounds like a cat?
Speaker 5 (09:21):
Yes, yes, yes, this is.
Speaker 7 (09:23):
Who had offends? Who's been getting him to fred Sus
and Millicent's nights?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Now?
Speaker 5 (09:28):
He has been a radney when all the.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Aican the guy ish forging checks in Millicent's name, and
him and his friends is rolling in zoom, gregfat, are
you listening to this?
Speaker 5 (09:40):
To me?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
It's very boring? To me, it's very interesting, Greg Pott.
You were talking about getting married before. Have you ever
seen Billy Burke Billy Boyce. Yeah, dame would a fact
checking account and a simple signature, a same like Billy
count And with that little gift of yours, you marry
(10:04):
her and the both of us is in the doom.
But all right, didn't you just tell me to marriage
his present? Beside? How everything that is to be Frank
with you know, ain't Billy the kids? But uh, you've
got to remember you see, and all the tame is
always more mature. H Look are you listening to me?
Speaker 5 (10:26):
What are you looking at?
Speaker 2 (10:27):
There? Now there's a tomato. I wouldn't mind marrying Frank Pot.
That ain't no tomato. That's Bane Vanuda, the singer, very
high class tomato. Strify Clark ave you oh a tomato? Huh?
And with twenty a letter? Hey, what do you have
(10:49):
to pay a dame like that? What you're saying, why
do you have to pay.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
A dame like that?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Nothing? Me? No, So why does she wake it she
needs to do. Then how about it? Song?
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Okay, claud go way she.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Sounds Johnny, Hey, Tomato, howks about your aplot? Do not
trinkle with this dame's emotions. Don't forget you are practically
and engaged. Men things, the night.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
Life, the game.
Speaker 6 (11:27):
But you can play it all them all, every chap
good hold of hard to call his own.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Love.
Speaker 5 (11:41):
Make come back. First night they called me one night,
are you I you? I have found the owen when
I all you, I know that you know that I'll
(12:02):
go where you go.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I can't.
Speaker 5 (12:08):
I wish you know how much I long to hold
you win my arm. It's tis my time. Want to
me the time time? Send in the starm.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Holy T with one more little kids.
Speaker 5 (12:23):
Say ninety nine, I know that you know that I'll
go where you go.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I do you lose you?
Speaker 5 (12:35):
I wish you knew how much I long you ow you.
Send in the storm, Holy Ti with one market, one
mark one mother, my.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Not stay no, A little you.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
Saying in the groove and my chock him right on
the brother.
Speaker 7 (13:18):
So thank you, Eddie. I'm not doing that, joy Cow,
I'm let me sick, and I guess yes, you must
be off me, I'm not king. Well, I certainly enjoy
(13:43):
that I'm not.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
I went the way.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
I am a hut.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
Oh, so who are you Archie? I tay your body,
I said, I am unche. That's changed. You look just
like him?
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Why cool like Archie?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
But I am him set.
Speaker 5 (14:05):
I still think the resemblance he's remark of it.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
So your archy, well, now I ain't so sure.
Speaker 7 (14:18):
Where the next time I recognize you by your face?
Do have an easy take to remember your poor things?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Look, there is nothing wrong with my faith.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
That's just sity you thinking that is no one can hurt.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Oh look beat out of that may and maybe it might.
But how how did the joint look to you? Miss f.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:46):
Yeah, yes, the tamers. It was not he that would
be changed.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Not even the table cloth spike and table clot was
kind over only just last week? And fight them are
how come you remember the table clot and you don't
remember me?
Speaker 5 (15:00):
You guys, do reget the news you are. I'm Auntie Auntie.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
The table for his name is the paranoiac. Oh and
I said, oh yeah, mister Clifton Finningan, this is miss
Billy fake.
Speaker 5 (15:22):
How do you do?
Speaker 2 (15:23):
You're cute? Yes you too, Yeah, but yes to then no,
no your s oh one of them stubborn.
Speaker 5 (15:35):
We're all right, I'm hidden you. But you're much student,
much more intelligence.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Oh god, your more intelligence than you?
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Oh no, no your more intelligence?
Speaker 4 (15:48):
No no you will, no, no you are.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
This one will be a dead heat.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
Where it's my you had had they can talk with you.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
I'm stu lighted too? Where so goodbye wisdom? Oh you
interesting conversation?
Speaker 5 (16:20):
Yeah, doty, everyone could be very puppy. Was an intelligent
man like that?
Speaker 2 (16:24):
You know?
Speaker 7 (16:24):
Sometimes I take to myself, why don't you accept an
afro of matice from some intelligent man? Then I answer
myself and I say, silly, No intelligent man will ever
at you.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Well, maybe I can help you out.
Speaker 5 (16:38):
That makes fake?
Speaker 2 (16:40):
How would you like to settle down in a little
cottage small by a waterfall? So wait a minute, I
came here to talk for crackpot. Hell up, I gotta
guy me and named Jack crack plannel too young, attractive,
(17:00):
hard worker.
Speaker 5 (17:01):
What did he do?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
He writes? A nice, sour dettle kind of a guy,
you know, not one of them flighty guys. This guy
has been known to stay in one spot for from
five to ten years. I think you should meet him.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
Well I started the dunking. He is staying there.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Almost sounds like yeah, I guess it's done.
Speaker 5 (17:27):
Well, what's that bring?
Speaker 4 (17:30):
Okay, I've been thinking it over.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
I can't marry this name, crackpots. You're patreontic duty. Look,
the government asked me to buy Barnes. How can I
buy burns unless you marry this name and get me
some dough. I go buy that. By not doing it,
you want to trade it to your country. Well watch
(19:11):
if it for me country, that's fatter that fatter, crack Now,
let's see how you look. You got on pressing trait
in your time. Gee, they gave you a bum suit
this time. Now?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Now look, what are you gonna say to Mt Fike
when you made a.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
For instance, if you are going to ask around the time, well,
I say, how about you or me going out and
tying on the feedbag? Crack five?
Speaker 5 (19:40):
Why explain that has caught me?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Of course? Track fix? Really your ghost a goat? Uh? No,
you say, miss fake, I am charmed Wo's kid through
sup supper or what's kid to chop up shupper with me?
It's fortnights this wasn't it? Wasn't it? In English word
(20:06):
means French. Look, we better practice that. Come here finn again,
Look Mike, belavior of dame. See, I want the crackpot
to try something, So.
Speaker 5 (20:15):
What's it gonna draw.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
It?
Speaker 4 (20:25):
The idea is meeting a dame.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Now you beat a dame. Okay, now crack fi let's
try it, Crackpot meet miss Finnigan.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
Hello, Miss Finnigan. Are you busy tonight? Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
I was gonna stay home and rinse out of your things.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Don't fly so good?
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Now crackpot a compliment?
Speaker 4 (20:46):
Okay, archie, Miss Finnigan.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Them's lovely diamond j is wearing?
Speaker 5 (20:50):
Gosh? Oh dis is work? You're going great?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Backpot going great? Now it's the proposal, Miss Pinnigan. How's
about us getting hitched to?
Speaker 5 (21:07):
Will you support me?
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (21:09):
So will you? Penny Clouds?
Speaker 4 (21:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (21:12):
Was you five me a beautiful house?
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (21:14):
So to you.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
I wish there was a dame, so I think you
wonderfuls backpo Hey, yuads, you got me practicing with a moron.
Why do you think you're gonna propose to you?
Speaker 4 (21:34):
See?
Speaker 2 (21:34):
I want your training under actual babble conditions, so I'll
be going if nobody wants me.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Okay, Flenn again the doctor.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Yeah Eddie, Now to me, this whole thing sounds jailly Eddie.
You mean that you're trying to discharge me from buying
bun but you don't get it the trouble.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
Don't worry.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
You just came his fool proof you are a fool
and live at the pool. Tell me that your steptic
come on backpie, I go, oh, miss Brake, Miss Brake,
I would like to present you with mister Oto. Uh,
mister road too, let's bike. Let's fokes, mister road too.
Crack fip crack fie. How do you do miss boke O?
(22:22):
Me Billy? That name strikes a tender note me Billy,
I was once hit over the head with a billy?
Speaker 5 (22:36):
Well, well, isn't it a small world? I would rather
here if we have something in common.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
You mean you w was hit over the head with
a billy?
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Pool?
Speaker 5 (22:45):
No, no, no, in my place with the can is next.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
The stemad and shoul mate to you whenever I get time.
He reads quite a bit.
Speaker 5 (23:05):
Have you have you run across a tree roading booklet?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Is it near ebbitts Field?
Speaker 5 (23:11):
Well? I don't know I'm only up to take for.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Well, what joan want to check chat crack pot the quest, Oh.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
Miss boyt, would you care to honor me by marrying me?
This fortnt.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Then if your too lie. Don't usually marry paying men,
but I feel that you are a man. I can check.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
Well, you're sayin me?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Can I used to be a trustee? Uh yeah, crack
flat used to be with a bank, you know, on
the board of trusty.
Speaker 5 (23:44):
I get your proposal?
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Good good? Uh?
Speaker 4 (23:47):
This point?
Speaker 2 (23:48):
On which bank do you carry your checking account?
Speaker 5 (23:52):
Checking account? I couldn't think of having a checking account.
All my money is in.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Rob no checking account. Hey, you're jipe and whooped in.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Don't look at me.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
I warned you. I told you Marge was poisons for factless.
Don't blame ninteen ichie thinking out, Duffy, Can.
Speaker 5 (24:15):
I try that next week?
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Up? Make your bowls, it's gonna be here. Hey, hey, kidding,
make your bog from the amate hower. Yeah, I can
hardly wake me up everybody. He'll be around here. Good night, Duffy.
Speaker 8 (24:26):
Dog three Podcasts is the presentation of the Armed Forces
(24:56):
Video System.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Please send your questions and comments to host at CLASSICCOMEDYOTR
dot com until next time. In the words of Martha Trolly,
curtain time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
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