November 24, 2025 • 29 mins
Archie tries to get Gracie Fields to be the permanent singer at Duffy’s.
Originally aired on February 29, 1944. This is episode 119 of Duffy's Tavern.
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Originally aired on February 29, 1944. This is episode 119 of Duffy's Tavern.
Please email questions and comments to host@classiccomedyotr.com.
Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/classiccomedyotr. Please share this podcast with your friends and family.
You can also subscribe to our podcast on Spreaker.com, Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Google podcasts.
This show is supported by Spreaker Prime.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome to classic comedy of old time radio. I'm your
host Ron Ecklebarger. Archie tries to get Gracie Fields to
be the permanent singer at Duffy's. Leave us listen to
this one hundred and nineteenth episode of Duffy's Tavern, entitled
Guest Gracie Fields. It originally aired on February twenty ninth,
(00:36):
nineteen forty four.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Thanks a special rebroadcast for the American Armed Forces, and
They're alives. You're invited to drop in where the elite
meets to eat Duffy's Tavern. Hello, Duffy Tavern.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Why do you late me?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Dye? Don't you to mind just making Tuffy ain't here?
Hello Duffy Tonight Gracie Fields at the English Night and Kyle, Well,
she sings them cock me song cock me, you know
the Englishman with a Brooklyn accent. Well, she was in
our picture Holy Matrimony, Oh Duffy. She wasn't the bearded lady.
(01:26):
That was Monty Wooie. Uh, Gracie was the singer. Uh yeah,
and she got her music the biggest test podesta of
them all. Yeah, I imagine she's probably got it. Uh
she's now singing at the Worldorf Astoria. Yeah, and Duffy.
(01:48):
I've been trying to figure it out that why did
the Waldorf make so much more money than wait till see?
And I got the answer. They got a hotel on
top of the joint. So what I was thinking? You know,
you know that back room where we keep the pig's feet, well,
you see that could be the bridal sweet and hello hello,
(02:13):
he hung up. Now, Eddie, we got to get the
uh stuffy Chorio hotel ready for rocket for did you
remove the pigs feet out of the back room? How
did the room look so high? Heaven? You mean the
rooms still? But now you might get away with calling
(02:34):
this place the Duffy Archoria, but you'll never be able
to call that room the rose room.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
By the way, there's there's another thing wrong with that
bed room.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
What ain't no bidding? I know, I forgot about something
I fad. Well, I'll tell you what I put down
to the cellar and I get them too empty potato
sacks down there. Go on with the Brunchwaga chicken market,
Eddie and towel brunch. When I get to pluck a
samathispause you wanted out an inner spring chickens. What a hotel?
(03:09):
What's wrong with this hotel? This is the kind of
hotel where when the tenants gets bricked they move to
a flop house. Ain't nobody gonna be dumb enough to
sleep there? What nobody gonna be dumb enough to sleep
their hunt? Then again, you look tired, George. I am
(03:34):
quite the pig, you know, dude. Fatigue always makes me
so tired. I slept a sleepless night lest you did. Huh, God,
I can't sleep when somebody's snoring. Well who was snoring?
I was? You mean? You snore so loud? You keep
(03:57):
yourself awake? Well, I don't chop fair when I go,
But when I go, I blow the cover doors. You know,
I am about. I am curiously thinking of moving to
my hotel. Well, welcome tranchent. Then again, how would you
like to move into our back room, the room with
(04:19):
the peak street. Well we're taking them out, and again,
you know, well why not I have been in that room.
It wouldn't be so bad when I went, But how
could I sleep if I ever went?
Speaker 4 (04:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Maybe all right, maybe we better put an end in
that room?
Speaker 5 (04:36):
Man here, I am here? Whom is mis Jackie the
beautiful innkeeper.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Sewarter, your own man ain't so beautiful?
Speaker 5 (04:51):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Well, the way you should say it is miss Duffy,
the beautiful daughter of the innkeeper, which is drammatically correct,
but physical we impossible.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
A good job, son, Papa. I'll have to tell it
to Mama.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
What a brain, my arch backed pod old Pool, You
dirty forger, you dirty swindler. I didn't think you would
have the nerve to come back here after swindling me
with that oil stock last week. I thought at least
you would have the decency to us Jutish joint arch.
It was just a prank, I swear by me, warden.
(05:33):
But why did you have to do it to me? Well?
Speaker 6 (05:36):
It was me fister tempted swindling, and I thought it
would be more honest to swindle somebody who wouldn't press charges.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Dge, don't be sure. I am in trouble enough. What's
your trouble? Me? Land Lady drew me out this morning.
Speaker 6 (05:49):
I've been going nuts all day trying to find me
a room.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Is that so, Eddie? What do you think should I
forgive them and rent them that room? Yeah? It'll serve
him right track. Pot, You'll say, we're turning our place
into a hotel and we can rent your one of
our better rooms, one of your better rooms. Huh? Has
it got a bad bed? How long are you planning
to stay? Well? Has it at least got running water?
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Well?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
What would be the good of having running water? And
ain't got no sink? Well? How am I gonna wash
me face? Washing?
Speaker 6 (06:29):
Back?
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Pot? This is a hotel room, not a beauty power. Well,
look is there a towel for? What do you want
a towel if you can't wash? What's the guy gonna use?
The shiny shoes? What everybody else uses? The bed sheet? Okay,
I'll take it. Uh, what's the number of me room?
(06:49):
You know? Well? What number would you like? You mean
I can have your choice of rooms? No, but you
can have your choice of numbers. Here's a piece of
your look you you can write it on the door yourself.
One hundred and five, two, one hundred and five.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
Uh do you mind if I make it nine oh five?
I like to sleep high up O well suit yourself? Front, front, Hey, front,
will you come in?
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Yeah? Oh front? I showed this gentleman in his luggage
to room nine oh five nine o five Put that thing,
ain't gonna hear it out? Hey, track punt, don't shout
if you want something ring for it. That's what the
dishpan is for. Okay, hey on what that time? Might
(07:38):
send me room that eight time? Mikees Oh hmm, that guy,
I've been given us hotel a bad name? Are rights?
Local chies came in w shape failed ben again, that's
right and failed well mis Bo's welcome to the duffy
(08:07):
a Choria. How do you like our little yeek cabin?
Speaker 4 (08:11):
It's very quaint. Reminds me of a little inn I
used to know in Lancashire.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Oh yeah, what was the name of it?
Speaker 4 (08:17):
The sign of a greasy goat?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
What a coincidence We were gonna put Duffy's picture outside.
Speaker 7 (08:24):
So this little Lancashire in was a lot of Funacchi.
The guests used to spend most of the night throwing dots.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
The Knight's throwing dot What a dump? We set traps well,
Gratty said, you don would you care for a spot
of care for a spot of off and off? Off
(08:53):
and off? Off?
Speaker 3 (08:54):
What and off?
Speaker 4 (08:55):
What? I think? The man's an off?
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Which Eddie I think the gentleman in nine oh five
is rained? My room was out again nine oh five?
I asked the ciliat questions, does everyone.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
Hit dish funds when they want room service?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Uh? No, only nine oh five? All the other room
has a budgets.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
And why don't you have a buzzer in nine oh five?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Then how would we know it was nine oh five? Alocky,
oh craty, I would like it to meet miss Stuffie,
the hotel's daughter.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Oh mis Field, I thought you was wonderful and I
take you with ninety wily, thanks very much.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (09:43):
How does it feel to kiss a man with a beard?
I'm dying with curiosity?
Speaker 4 (09:48):
Haven't you have a kissed a man with a beard?
Speaker 5 (09:50):
No?
Speaker 4 (09:51):
Have you ever kissed a man with a mostache?
Speaker 6 (09:53):
No?
Speaker 4 (09:54):
Have you ever kissed a man who needed a shade?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
No?
Speaker 4 (09:58):
No, wonder you're dying of curial.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
Yeah, but you haven't answered me. How did it feel
the kiss monkey?
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Woolly?
Speaker 7 (10:16):
Given why you're so interested in finding out how it
feels to kiss him of the beard?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Well, you see, Gracie, from the way things have been
going with Miss Duffy lately, her last hope of Sandy class,
Miss stuffy. This has been a very nice game of beaver.
But I would like miss Field to render a song
for the crowd here. What do you say, Grycie? Okay, hockey, Okay, swell,
I don't announce you. I sil be missed dodgy, but
(10:41):
missed old too. The gentleman of nine o five, Oh yeah,
he wants a pair of room a month's rent in advance.
He gave me this ten dollar bill. A ten dollar
bill for a month's rent. What kind of a place
is a canna think this is? And he got nothing smaller?
Speaker 4 (10:58):
No, just a's brand new.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Come out here. Okay, I'll give them change. Gee, this
is a fright. No ten ain't chastine a month's rent.
Here's this change eight bucks? Okay, I'll announce your song, Gracie.
Ladies and gentlemen, we now presents Miss Gracie Field, singing
from the sawdust groove of the Duffy Achoria Hotel, located
(11:21):
in the heart of Times Square twenty third Street and
Third Avenue. Uh take it, my slvents, didn't.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
EMOCHI each time I bring jokes.
Speaker 5 (11:41):
By your newsday.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Sun moodore hoold me, my darling and say that You'll
always be mine.
Speaker 7 (12:00):
Enjoys something new, my arms impolding you never knew this
room before?
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Whoever thought I'd be owing.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
You close to me?
Speaker 4 (12:08):
Which bring this? I, dearest, wonder if you should leave me?
Each little dream would take wings and.
Speaker 5 (12:23):
My life to it.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Though little stop me forever, and may all.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
My dream of.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
Matthy douse to tell he dout a little laughter, ely,
I may do what.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
Matgy do. A little last.
Speaker 7 (12:55):
Day I may do, and the wad down where I'm
funny do you're in a lave man John the man,
John Damot and letty lending to.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
A little laugh.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
You know I love you, do want you? What did you?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
That's crazy? Want you to dame? What a talent like?
You're singing a dump like the wall or jump jump?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Why you you?
Speaker 4 (13:53):
What's the American expression that means income?
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Book? Kay? No, don't no dumb bolt No, look, thick
one out and let's get on with the conversation. Now.
What I think is that you want to be singing
here instead of that joint you know it joined like
that world or.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
Nine oh five. I presume uh.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Front front a front. Oh, I'm getting tired. You're gonna
have to get another waiter or a second front at
nine o five makes more trouble and aller other guests together. Look, Gracie, uh,
leave us get down to business now. Miss archer, miss
(14:37):
o' two and nine oh five wants to pay another
month's rent in advance. Uh huh another month? Huh? Well
she ain't that cute? Frankplot? These chants that make up
for swindling me last week? I guess where's the dough addie?
That is another nice Chris new ten dollars all right,
ain't here's a change boy? This keep the hotel crowded
(15:02):
right up until June. Well, Gracie, leave us get down
the business. As I said, what would we have to
give you to get you to leave the world off
and come down here?
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Chloroform?
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Gracie, I'm serious. Look, here's what we're wanted, though I
understand an England, you made as high as ten pounds
a week. See, we're willing to double that. We'll play
you twenty shillings. Fair enough, twenty.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Shillings out see twenty bob is less than a ginning?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Would you mind playing that back again?
Speaker 8 (15:37):
Well?
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Listen here four.
Speaker 7 (15:38):
Threateny bits make a shilling. Also two sixpences make a shilling.
Eight half clowns make a pound, and a shilling is
also twenty of a pound. To double jenny, it'd have
to take in about twenty quick.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Boy, I could go nuts over there in a crap game. Well, anyways,
Gracie won't. We're offering you ten bucks a week. You
know what gives English call a moon and sixpence. Wait
a minute, I'll do better. I'll give you fifty percent
(16:10):
of the gross profit of this hotel.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
Huh back to the twenty shillings again.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Oh yeah, well it's certainly yes. Wait until the rush start.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
What rush you mean? Nine o five is going to
go out and come in again?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Look, well you see the rush. Uh, we'll fix a
rush up. I excuse me yet. Hey, Finnigan, Benney, Danny,
come here. I want to talk to you, sir. We
got to make this hotel look like. I'm busy front
nine o'bars. Right, well, I'm getting to know this hotel
(16:44):
by heart. Look now, crazy, you're gonna see business is
gonna start picking up any minutes. Got, Well, you're back quick.
What does crank funt want now?
Speaker 4 (16:54):
This time?
Speaker 2 (16:55):
He would like two five for ten us, not a
one of them for news. But I give him all
of my change, and well I got left to seven dollars.
He said to take whatever you got wealth. He wants
to be okay. Now, look, Gracie, as I was saying
business should be picking up very soon. As I was
(17:19):
saying business should be picking up very soon, pardon me?
Oh good afternoon, sir, w a jury at your service?
Of what service? Can we beat you up? Sir? My
name is John Smith and it's charming. Young lady? Is
my bridal sweet get married? I presume Macon uh nole? We?
Speaker 4 (17:47):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
We did? Yes?
Speaker 6 (17:49):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Is mommy the lambie.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Pie poppy picked?
Speaker 4 (17:56):
Where do these people get the points?
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Uh? Mister Smith? So what can we do for you
when you're veil killed? With here ya now lammy tye
and I would go to sweep missus Smith. I regret
that at the moment we are fulled up, I feel
we will not have a room until nineteen forty seven.
I don't think we can wait. You'll see, see, Gracie,
(18:26):
we're turning them away. Now what do you say? Uh?
Pray said, we'll give you ten bucks a week plus percentage.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
Ah, you're talking through your hat. You couldn't hire me anyway,
I'd have to audition for Duffy Sez the bus of displace.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Oh yeah, Duffy is merely the soul owner and proplanted.
I'm the real figurehead, and I want you to know
that what I say goes around here. Racy, it looks
like you'll have to audition. What do you say? Okay?
Speaker 4 (18:57):
I guess there's only one way out for me.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
The worst song I know, the worst song?
Speaker 6 (19:01):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
What's the worst song? You know? You know?
Speaker 8 (19:12):
I can't hear that good old duppies where the elite.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Meat taste first, that bind me on pretride mad.
Speaker 6 (19:21):
Cobsticles, the racing I awake for you, my sweet in
me and in the doll and dung birl.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
We should honor.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Redut to the world.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
Leave us no longer return that you are merely a band.
Morris is routing the dolls aball.
Speaker 7 (19:43):
So we have tried to eg Pole suddenly long and
get all the leaves.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Are in low. He'll always be in England. But this
is the end of Lev's fighting.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Leave us not flush with no shame. If people then
need your.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Name, shoes and old rays were streaming. Eddie is that
criticism or she been eating here.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
So is like in her joy could win the bustle
of prize even sid.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
We're in love. It's time. I'm with my dead Now
I'm not, but I'm.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Just the same of the mine has been.
Speaker 8 (20:46):
Can't leave me life, I'm complete.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
I'd like a tuttle with all.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
She must add here love my thanks to me, Racie
Sonya Rachel's.
Speaker 8 (21:13):
Head head no no kavan, cleave us face.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Wow, Racie, that song really did you justice? Yep, you're hired.
Now here's your first week sour in advanced Racie, A
nice christ ten dollars fellas.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
Thank you? Wait a minute, this ten dollar bill? Did
Alexander Hamilton always look like this?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Let's see Wait a minute, that ain't Alelexanda Hamilton. That's
crack Final two. That sturdy cook he's been counting fitting
gold back there and putting his own picture on it.
He ain't only a crook, He's an eager nmiac. That's
sturdy Cook. Oh do I see what it's having? Nine
(22:30):
oh five wants see what he wants? Then he go
out and get plenty to come. What Crack fights Room seven.
We'll give it to him. Twenty years of it before
we leave.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Duffies leave us put a couple of nickels in Duffy's jubebox.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
The plat is spinning, the needle comes down.
Speaker 9 (22:53):
It's God, That to me is what your eyes are
(23:16):
off the stars in April skyes. Tell me someday to
still a promise for.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
The trill god flashing eyes in which my hope from.
Let me show you where my heart life. Let me
prove bit adorn that lovely as your my life I
(23:52):
fell to come, I.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
Gave Now.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
I only want to know. Look, God, in your eyes.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
Die, when, if ever will my.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Let's know if it's me for whom the world I.
Speaker 9 (24:21):
Makes no difference where you are, You're to hold my
Would you ste.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Or start all lovely? M M.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
The three podcast is the presentation of the Armed Forces
(28:26):
Radio Ships.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Please send your questions and comments a host at Classic
Comedy o tr dot com until next time. In the
words of Edward Hopper, no amount of skillful invention can
replace the essential element of imagination.
Welcome to classic comedy of old time radio. I'm your
host Ron Ecklebarger. Archie tries to get Gracie Fields to
be the permanent singer at Duffy's. Leave us listen to
this one hundred and nineteenth episode of Duffy's Tavern, entitled
Guest Gracie Fields. It originally aired on February twenty ninth,
(00:36):
nineteen forty four.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Thanks a special rebroadcast for the American Armed Forces, and
They're alives. You're invited to drop in where the elite
meets to eat Duffy's Tavern. Hello, Duffy Tavern.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Why do you late me?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Dye? Don't you to mind just making Tuffy ain't here?
Hello Duffy Tonight Gracie Fields at the English Night and Kyle, Well,
she sings them cock me song cock me, you know
the Englishman with a Brooklyn accent. Well, she was in
our picture Holy Matrimony, Oh Duffy. She wasn't the bearded lady.
(01:26):
That was Monty Wooie. Uh, Gracie was the singer. Uh yeah,
and she got her music the biggest test podesta of
them all. Yeah, I imagine she's probably got it. Uh
she's now singing at the Worldorf Astoria. Yeah, and Duffy.
(01:48):
I've been trying to figure it out that why did
the Waldorf make so much more money than wait till see?
And I got the answer. They got a hotel on
top of the joint. So what I was thinking? You know,
you know that back room where we keep the pig's feet, well,
you see that could be the bridal sweet and hello hello,
(02:13):
he hung up. Now, Eddie, we got to get the
uh stuffy Chorio hotel ready for rocket for did you
remove the pigs feet out of the back room? How
did the room look so high? Heaven? You mean the
rooms still? But now you might get away with calling
(02:34):
this place the Duffy Archoria, but you'll never be able
to call that room the rose room.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
By the way, there's there's another thing wrong with that
bed room.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
What ain't no bidding? I know, I forgot about something
I fad. Well, I'll tell you what I put down
to the cellar and I get them too empty potato
sacks down there. Go on with the Brunchwaga chicken market,
Eddie and towel brunch. When I get to pluck a
samathispause you wanted out an inner spring chickens. What a hotel?
(03:09):
What's wrong with this hotel? This is the kind of
hotel where when the tenants gets bricked they move to
a flop house. Ain't nobody gonna be dumb enough to
sleep there? What nobody gonna be dumb enough to sleep
their hunt? Then again, you look tired, George. I am
(03:34):
quite the pig, you know, dude. Fatigue always makes me
so tired. I slept a sleepless night lest you did. Huh, God,
I can't sleep when somebody's snoring. Well who was snoring?
I was? You mean? You snore so loud? You keep
(03:57):
yourself awake? Well, I don't chop fair when I go,
But when I go, I blow the cover doors. You know,
I am about. I am curiously thinking of moving to
my hotel. Well, welcome tranchent. Then again, how would you
like to move into our back room, the room with
(04:19):
the peak street. Well we're taking them out, and again,
you know, well why not I have been in that room.
It wouldn't be so bad when I went, But how
could I sleep if I ever went?
Speaker 4 (04:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Maybe all right, maybe we better put an end in
that room?
Speaker 5 (04:36):
Man here, I am here? Whom is mis Jackie the
beautiful innkeeper.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Sewarter, your own man ain't so beautiful?
Speaker 5 (04:51):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Well, the way you should say it is miss Duffy,
the beautiful daughter of the innkeeper, which is drammatically correct,
but physical we impossible.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
A good job, son, Papa. I'll have to tell it
to Mama.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
What a brain, my arch backed pod old Pool, You
dirty forger, you dirty swindler. I didn't think you would
have the nerve to come back here after swindling me
with that oil stock last week. I thought at least
you would have the decency to us Jutish joint arch.
It was just a prank, I swear by me, warden.
(05:33):
But why did you have to do it to me? Well?
Speaker 6 (05:36):
It was me fister tempted swindling, and I thought it
would be more honest to swindle somebody who wouldn't press charges.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Dge, don't be sure. I am in trouble enough. What's
your trouble? Me? Land Lady drew me out this morning.
Speaker 6 (05:49):
I've been going nuts all day trying to find me
a room.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Is that so, Eddie? What do you think should I
forgive them and rent them that room? Yeah? It'll serve
him right track. Pot, You'll say, we're turning our place
into a hotel and we can rent your one of
our better rooms, one of your better rooms. Huh? Has
it got a bad bed? How long are you planning
to stay? Well? Has it at least got running water?
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Well?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
What would be the good of having running water? And
ain't got no sink? Well? How am I gonna wash
me face? Washing?
Speaker 6 (06:29):
Back?
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Pot? This is a hotel room, not a beauty power. Well,
look is there a towel for? What do you want
a towel if you can't wash? What's the guy gonna use?
The shiny shoes? What everybody else uses? The bed sheet? Okay,
I'll take it. Uh, what's the number of me room?
(06:49):
You know? Well? What number would you like? You mean
I can have your choice of rooms? No, but you
can have your choice of numbers. Here's a piece of
your look you you can write it on the door yourself.
One hundred and five, two, one hundred and five.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
Uh do you mind if I make it nine oh five?
I like to sleep high up O well suit yourself? Front, front, Hey, front,
will you come in?
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Yeah? Oh front? I showed this gentleman in his luggage
to room nine oh five nine o five Put that thing,
ain't gonna hear it out? Hey, track punt, don't shout
if you want something ring for it. That's what the
dishpan is for. Okay, hey on what that time? Might
(07:38):
send me room that eight time? Mikees Oh hmm, that guy,
I've been given us hotel a bad name? Are rights?
Local chies came in w shape failed ben again, that's
right and failed well mis Bo's welcome to the duffy
(08:07):
a Choria. How do you like our little yeek cabin?
Speaker 4 (08:11):
It's very quaint. Reminds me of a little inn I
used to know in Lancashire.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Oh yeah, what was the name of it?
Speaker 4 (08:17):
The sign of a greasy goat?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
What a coincidence We were gonna put Duffy's picture outside.
Speaker 7 (08:24):
So this little Lancashire in was a lot of Funacchi.
The guests used to spend most of the night throwing dots.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
The Knight's throwing dot What a dump? We set traps well,
Gratty said, you don would you care for a spot
of care for a spot of off and off? Off
(08:53):
and off? Off?
Speaker 3 (08:54):
What and off?
Speaker 4 (08:55):
What? I think? The man's an off?
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Which Eddie I think the gentleman in nine oh five
is rained? My room was out again nine oh five?
I asked the ciliat questions, does everyone.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
Hit dish funds when they want room service?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Uh? No, only nine oh five? All the other room
has a budgets.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
And why don't you have a buzzer in nine oh five?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Then how would we know it was nine oh five? Alocky,
oh craty, I would like it to meet miss Stuffie,
the hotel's daughter.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Oh mis Field, I thought you was wonderful and I
take you with ninety wily, thanks very much.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (09:43):
How does it feel to kiss a man with a beard?
I'm dying with curiosity?
Speaker 4 (09:48):
Haven't you have a kissed a man with a beard?
Speaker 5 (09:50):
No?
Speaker 4 (09:51):
Have you ever kissed a man with a mostache?
Speaker 6 (09:53):
No?
Speaker 4 (09:54):
Have you ever kissed a man who needed a shade?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
No?
Speaker 4 (09:58):
No, wonder you're dying of curial.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
Yeah, but you haven't answered me. How did it feel
the kiss monkey?
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Woolly?
Speaker 7 (10:16):
Given why you're so interested in finding out how it
feels to kiss him of the beard?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Well, you see, Gracie, from the way things have been
going with Miss Duffy lately, her last hope of Sandy class,
Miss stuffy. This has been a very nice game of beaver.
But I would like miss Field to render a song
for the crowd here. What do you say, Grycie? Okay, hockey, Okay, swell,
I don't announce you. I sil be missed dodgy, but
(10:41):
missed old too. The gentleman of nine o five, Oh yeah,
he wants a pair of room a month's rent in advance.
He gave me this ten dollar bill. A ten dollar
bill for a month's rent. What kind of a place
is a canna think this is? And he got nothing smaller?
Speaker 4 (10:58):
No, just a's brand new.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Come out here. Okay, I'll give them change. Gee, this
is a fright. No ten ain't chastine a month's rent.
Here's this change eight bucks? Okay, I'll announce your song, Gracie.
Ladies and gentlemen, we now presents Miss Gracie Field, singing
from the sawdust groove of the Duffy Achoria Hotel, located
(11:21):
in the heart of Times Square twenty third Street and
Third Avenue. Uh take it, my slvents, didn't.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
EMOCHI each time I bring jokes.
Speaker 5 (11:41):
By your newsday.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Sun moodore hoold me, my darling and say that You'll
always be mine.
Speaker 7 (12:00):
Enjoys something new, my arms impolding you never knew this
room before?
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Whoever thought I'd be owing.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
You close to me?
Speaker 4 (12:08):
Which bring this? I, dearest, wonder if you should leave me?
Each little dream would take wings and.
Speaker 5 (12:23):
My life to it.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Though little stop me forever, and may all.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
My dream of.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
Matthy douse to tell he dout a little laughter, ely,
I may do what.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
Matgy do. A little last.
Speaker 7 (12:55):
Day I may do, and the wad down where I'm
funny do you're in a lave man John the man,
John Damot and letty lending to.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
A little laugh.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
You know I love you, do want you? What did you?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
That's crazy? Want you to dame? What a talent like?
You're singing a dump like the wall or jump jump?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Why you you?
Speaker 4 (13:53):
What's the American expression that means income?
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Book? Kay? No, don't no dumb bolt No, look, thick
one out and let's get on with the conversation. Now.
What I think is that you want to be singing
here instead of that joint you know it joined like
that world or.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
Nine oh five. I presume uh.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Front front a front. Oh, I'm getting tired. You're gonna
have to get another waiter or a second front at
nine o five makes more trouble and aller other guests together. Look, Gracie, uh,
leave us get down to business now. Miss archer, miss
(14:37):
o' two and nine oh five wants to pay another
month's rent in advance. Uh huh another month? Huh? Well
she ain't that cute? Frankplot? These chants that make up
for swindling me last week? I guess where's the dough addie?
That is another nice Chris new ten dollars all right,
ain't here's a change boy? This keep the hotel crowded
(15:02):
right up until June. Well, Gracie, leave us get down
the business. As I said, what would we have to
give you to get you to leave the world off
and come down here?
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Chloroform?
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Gracie, I'm serious. Look, here's what we're wanted, though I
understand an England, you made as high as ten pounds
a week. See, we're willing to double that. We'll play
you twenty shillings. Fair enough, twenty.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Shillings out see twenty bob is less than a ginning?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Would you mind playing that back again?
Speaker 8 (15:37):
Well?
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Listen here four.
Speaker 7 (15:38):
Threateny bits make a shilling. Also two sixpences make a shilling.
Eight half clowns make a pound, and a shilling is
also twenty of a pound. To double jenny, it'd have
to take in about twenty quick.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Boy, I could go nuts over there in a crap game. Well, anyways,
Gracie won't. We're offering you ten bucks a week. You
know what gives English call a moon and sixpence. Wait
a minute, I'll do better. I'll give you fifty percent
(16:10):
of the gross profit of this hotel.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
Huh back to the twenty shillings again.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Oh yeah, well it's certainly yes. Wait until the rush start.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
What rush you mean? Nine o five is going to
go out and come in again?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Look, well you see the rush. Uh, we'll fix a
rush up. I excuse me yet. Hey, Finnigan, Benney, Danny,
come here. I want to talk to you, sir. We
got to make this hotel look like. I'm busy front
nine o'bars. Right, well, I'm getting to know this hotel
(16:44):
by heart. Look now, crazy, you're gonna see business is
gonna start picking up any minutes. Got, Well, you're back quick.
What does crank funt want now?
Speaker 4 (16:54):
This time?
Speaker 2 (16:55):
He would like two five for ten us, not a
one of them for news. But I give him all
of my change, and well I got left to seven dollars.
He said to take whatever you got wealth. He wants
to be okay. Now, look, Gracie, as I was saying
business should be picking up very soon. As I was
(17:19):
saying business should be picking up very soon, pardon me?
Oh good afternoon, sir, w a jury at your service?
Of what service? Can we beat you up? Sir? My
name is John Smith and it's charming. Young lady? Is
my bridal sweet get married? I presume Macon uh nole? We?
Speaker 4 (17:47):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
We did? Yes?
Speaker 6 (17:49):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Is mommy the lambie.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Pie poppy picked?
Speaker 4 (17:56):
Where do these people get the points?
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Uh? Mister Smith? So what can we do for you
when you're veil killed? With here ya now lammy tye
and I would go to sweep missus Smith. I regret
that at the moment we are fulled up, I feel
we will not have a room until nineteen forty seven.
I don't think we can wait. You'll see, see, Gracie,
(18:26):
we're turning them away. Now what do you say? Uh?
Pray said, we'll give you ten bucks a week plus percentage.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
Ah, you're talking through your hat. You couldn't hire me anyway,
I'd have to audition for Duffy Sez the bus of displace.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Oh yeah, Duffy is merely the soul owner and proplanted.
I'm the real figurehead, and I want you to know
that what I say goes around here. Racy, it looks
like you'll have to audition. What do you say? Okay?
Speaker 4 (18:57):
I guess there's only one way out for me.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
The worst song I know, the worst song?
Speaker 6 (19:01):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
What's the worst song? You know? You know?
Speaker 8 (19:12):
I can't hear that good old duppies where the elite.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Meat taste first, that bind me on pretride mad.
Speaker 6 (19:21):
Cobsticles, the racing I awake for you, my sweet in
me and in the doll and dung birl.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
We should honor.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Redut to the world.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
Leave us no longer return that you are merely a band.
Morris is routing the dolls aball.
Speaker 7 (19:43):
So we have tried to eg Pole suddenly long and
get all the leaves.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Are in low. He'll always be in England. But this
is the end of Lev's fighting.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Leave us not flush with no shame. If people then
need your.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Name, shoes and old rays were streaming. Eddie is that
criticism or she been eating here.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
So is like in her joy could win the bustle
of prize even sid.
Speaker 4 (20:32):
We're in love. It's time. I'm with my dead Now
I'm not, but I'm.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Just the same of the mine has been.
Speaker 8 (20:46):
Can't leave me life, I'm complete.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
I'd like a tuttle with all.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
She must add here love my thanks to me, Racie
Sonya Rachel's.
Speaker 8 (21:13):
Head head no no kavan, cleave us face.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Wow, Racie, that song really did you justice? Yep, you're hired.
Now here's your first week sour in advanced Racie, A
nice christ ten dollars fellas.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
Thank you? Wait a minute, this ten dollar bill? Did
Alexander Hamilton always look like this?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Let's see Wait a minute, that ain't Alelexanda Hamilton. That's
crack Final two. That sturdy cook he's been counting fitting
gold back there and putting his own picture on it.
He ain't only a crook, He's an eager nmiac. That's
sturdy Cook. Oh do I see what it's having? Nine
(22:30):
oh five wants see what he wants? Then he go
out and get plenty to come. What Crack fights Room seven.
We'll give it to him. Twenty years of it before
we leave.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Duffies leave us put a couple of nickels in Duffy's jubebox.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
The plat is spinning, the needle comes down.
Speaker 9 (22:53):
It's God, That to me is what your eyes are
(23:16):
off the stars in April skyes. Tell me someday to
still a promise for.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
The trill god flashing eyes in which my hope from.
Let me show you where my heart life. Let me
prove bit adorn that lovely as your my life I
(23:52):
fell to come, I.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
Gave Now.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
I only want to know. Look, God, in your eyes.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
Die, when, if ever will my.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Let's know if it's me for whom the world I.
Speaker 9 (24:21):
Makes no difference where you are, You're to hold my
Would you ste.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Or start all lovely? M M.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
The three podcast is the presentation of the Armed Forces
(28:26):
Radio Ships.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Please send your questions and comments a host at Classic
Comedy o tr dot com until next time. In the
words of Edward Hopper, no amount of skillful invention can
replace the essential element of imagination.
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