December 3, 2025 • 31 mins
When Kathy tells a big fat lie on George Washington’s Birthday, which is also Father’s, Father explains to Kathy that she must always tell the truth, just like George Washington. Of course, Kathy takes it a bit far
Originally aired on February 22,1951. This is episode 70 of Father Knows Best.
Please email questions and comments to host@classiccomedyotr.com.
Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/classiccomedyotr. Please share this podcast with your friends and family.
You can also subscribe to our podcast on Spreaker.com, Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Google podcasts.
This show is supported by Spreaker Prime.
Originally aired on February 22,1951. This is episode 70 of Father Knows Best.
Please email questions and comments to host@classiccomedyotr.com.
Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/classiccomedyotr. Please share this podcast with your friends and family.
You can also subscribe to our podcast on Spreaker.com, Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Google podcasts.
This show is supported by Spreaker Prime.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome to classic comedy of old time radio. I'm your
host Ronicle Barger. When Kathy tells a big fat lie
on George Washington's birthday, which is also father's birthday, Father
explains to Kathy that she must always tell the truth,
just like George Washington. Of course, Kathy takes it a
(00:37):
bit too far. This is episode number seventy a Father
Knows Best, entitled Always Tell the Truth. It originally aired
on February twenty second, nineteen fifty one.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Mother is Naxwell House, the desk coffee in the whole world.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
When your father says so, and your father knows.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Best, Yes, it's father knows Best. Transcribed in Hollywood starring
Robert Young his father. A half hour visit with your neighbors,
the Andersons, brought to you by Maxwell House, the coffee
that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other
(01:20):
brand of coffee at any price. Maxwell House always good
to the last drop. Today, being the twenty second of February,
(01:42):
the people of America are engaged in a nationwide celebration
honoring the birth of the man who was first in war,
first in peace, and first in the hearts of his country.
In Springfield, in the white frame house on Maple Street.
The celebration has reached a melodic, conspirated climax like this.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
Happy birthday, dear fire, Happy birthday to you.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
For both George Washington and myself. I say thank you,
ladies and Jim.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Don't you think you'd better blow out the candles before
they drip all over the cake?
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Okay, hang out to your chairs. Kids. This is going
to be like blowing out a forest fire. It's harder
every year. Now, I suppose we forget about the speech
and concentrate on the cake. May I have your plate? Margaret?
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Just a small piece, dear? All right, here you are, Jim,
I said, a small piece.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Well, it's my birthday. I'm in a generous move, Betty.
Speaker 6 (02:54):
Thank you, father, but don't worry about getting mine too,
big Dad?
Speaker 4 (02:59):
All right, how's that gm?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Not the whole cake?
Speaker 6 (03:03):
Leave him alone? Mom, he's doing fine.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Boy, Bud. When you feel the explosion coming on, give
us time to step back. Okay, Dad, Kathy?
Speaker 7 (03:15):
Is it all right if I don't eat any cake?
Daddy or Kathy?
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Don't you feel well? Oh?
Speaker 7 (03:21):
No, I feel fine. I just don't want any cake.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
That's all are you sure, Kathy, Yes, Daddy, I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Well okay, why don't you open the presence?
Speaker 4 (03:33):
Father? Don't you think I ought to have a chance
to eat my cake?
Speaker 6 (03:36):
It'll only take a minute, Dad.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
But if I well, okay, let's see now. This one
says with all my love Margaret, Thank you, dear.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
I hope you like it.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
I'm sure I will.
Speaker 7 (03:47):
Daddy, I mean, I please be excused?
Speaker 4 (03:50):
What for? Don't you want to see what I say?
That's beautiful and it's exactly what I needed. What is it?
Speaker 8 (04:05):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
It's it's a golf pouch for your bills. And it's
real leather.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Oh, I see tease on the outside, money on the inside.
That's a good idea. Thank you, honey.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
You're welcome, dear.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Ah. This is a big one, isn't it. Happy birthday, father, dear,
lots of joy this coming year. May your troubles all
be petty lovingly your daughter Betty, Oh, never mind, Bud,
that's very sweet, Betty, thank you very much.
Speaker 9 (04:38):
You're welcome.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Father.
Speaker 7 (04:39):
Don't you think I ought to go upstairs and do
my homework?
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Why, Kathy, we're having a party. This is no time
to do homework.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Well, their binocular's.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Father, I know, but the nan said you could see
passively anything with them.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
That's fine. But these are kind of expensive, aren't they.
Where'd you get the money to buy them?
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (05:02):
I just made the down payment, I see, and I'm
supposed to.
Speaker 9 (05:10):
There's only a balance of eighty five dollars.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Father. Well that's nice, especially when I need binoculars like
I need an extra head.
Speaker 9 (05:21):
You mean you don't like them?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
Oh? I like them. Fine, I can use them for
finding people who want to buy insurance.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Jim. I'm sure Betty won't mind if you turn them
in for something more practical, will you, Betty? No?
Speaker 9 (05:35):
But he doesn't have to before Monday, does he?
Speaker 4 (05:38):
What happens on Monday?
Speaker 9 (05:39):
Well not Monday, father. You see, Stanley Lawson is a
bird watcher, and Sunday he's gonna take me out and
show me how you watch.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Birds with my binoculars.
Speaker 9 (05:50):
Well, I didn't think he'd mind if I borrowed them,
just this one.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
You can watch them through Stanley Lawson's binoculars one eye.
Speaker 6 (05:57):
Apiece jumping creep for open mind.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Not the eighty five dollars Jim Bud's present. Oh, I'm sorry, Bud. Oh,
I'm sorry, Bud, I'll live. Well. Now that's a tender sentiment.
What does it say from Bud? Isn't that nice?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Jim?
Speaker 7 (06:23):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (06:24):
Gee, I don't know how to write poetry or anything.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Is this one all paid for? Sure? You don't have
to write poetry. Father. There's nothing I like better than well,
a camera.
Speaker 6 (06:38):
But it's got a flash attachment and everything.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
It's very nice. Of course, you realize that I've already
got a camera, I know.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
But you will never lend it to me.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
I see. Thank you very much, Bud.
Speaker 6 (06:55):
You're welcome.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Well, I guess that takes care of the presents, Kathy.
Speaker 7 (07:00):
I better go inside and practice.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Kathy, what about your present?
Speaker 7 (07:05):
I don't have any present.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
MoMA money, It doesn't make any difference.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
I gave her fifty cents to buy a present, and
I want to know what happened to it?
Speaker 4 (07:12):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (07:14):
Well, Kathy, didn't I tell you about that? Mommy?
Speaker 9 (07:19):
Oh it was awful.
Speaker 7 (07:21):
What was what happened to the fifty cents?
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I was going down to mister Crandell's drug store to
buy the present, and you know the empty store next
to mister Crandall's. Yes, well, nine men with beards on
gratig guns, jumped out of the store and grabbed me,
and they knocked me down, and they took my fifty cents,
and one of them said, you'd better not tell anybody or.
Speaker 7 (07:45):
We'll kill you.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Oh happy, Well they did, and I said, you better
give me back my fifty cents.
Speaker 7 (07:58):
That's to buy a birthday present form Mie, Daddy.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
And then they all said ha ha, and then they
ran away.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
I have never.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Is that all, Kathy.
Speaker 7 (08:11):
I couldn't help it, Daddy. There were nine of.
Speaker 6 (08:14):
Them, Holy cow, if you believe never.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Mind, Bud, I'll handle this, Kathy. Yes, Daddy, you're sure
there were only nine men, Yes, Daddy, with beards and guns.
Sounds like the old Capone gang.
Speaker 7 (08:31):
That's who they looked like.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Uh, what's that spot on the front of your dress?
Spot looks like chocolate, doesn't it, Margaret?
Speaker 3 (08:42):
It is chocolate.
Speaker 7 (08:44):
Maybe one of the men had chocolate on his gun.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
And when he stuck me up, why don't you tell
us the truth?
Speaker 7 (08:53):
But it is the truth, Daddy.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
I was walking down the streets, all right, never mind, Margaret.
Why don't you and button Betty see what's doing in
the kitchen. I'd like to have a little talk with Kathy.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
All right, dear, come on, Betty Bud, we'll start on
the sandwiches for the poker party. Nine men with beards?
Speaker 4 (09:11):
What about my cake?
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Bring it with you? Stop talking with your mother?
Speaker 4 (09:15):
Full boy?
Speaker 6 (09:16):
She dreamed up a pit this time, didn't she?
Speaker 4 (09:21):
Kathy?
Speaker 7 (09:21):
Yes, Daddy?
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Now, would you like to tell me the truth about what?
Speaker 7 (09:26):
Daddy?
Speaker 4 (09:27):
About the fifty cents?
Speaker 7 (09:29):
Oh? But I did. I was walking along minding my.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Business, went out of an orange colored sky? What never mind?
How many sodas did you have this afternoon?
Speaker 9 (09:43):
Why?
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Ddy, I didn't have kby.
Speaker 7 (09:47):
Three.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
I couldn't help, But Daddy, I only meant to have one,
and the first thing I knew.
Speaker 9 (09:57):
The whole fifty cents was gone.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Well, why didn't you tell me that in the first place?
Speaker 7 (10:02):
I didn't want you to spank me.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
So you made up that horrible lie.
Speaker 7 (10:08):
It was the only one I could think.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Of, Kathy? What are we gonna do with you? I
don't know of all the days to tell a lie.
George Washington's birthday in yours too. Do you realize that
in his whole life, George Washington never told a single lie.
He didn't He certainly didn't when he chopped down his
(10:32):
father's cherry tree, he said, I cannot tell a lie.
I did it with my little hatchet. Did he get spanked,
of course not because he told the truth. And when
he grew up and the people were looking for a
president to be father of this country, they said, let's
get George Washington. He never gets into trouble. Of course,
in those days there weren't any music critics.
Speaker 7 (11:06):
Daddy.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
If I always tell the truth, can I get to
be the father of my country.
Speaker 7 (11:12):
Well and be the president?
Speaker 4 (11:17):
It's possible. Heaven help us, Kathy. Do you know what
I'd like for a president more than anything in the world,
for you to tell the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
You mean, that's all you want, That's all, and you
won't be mad at me anymore.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
I'll be the happiest father in Springfield, Daddy.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I won't ever tell another lie, not ever again, as
long as I live.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
That's a promise.
Speaker 7 (11:45):
Now, Oh yes, Daddy, all right, we'll.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
See what happened. It's all right, honey, We've got everything
all settled.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I'm going to be the president. I'm going to tell
the truth about everything, no matter.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
What happens that fine, Dear Jim.
Speaker 7 (12:02):
That's what I'm giving Daddy for his birthday.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
All right, Kathy, Jim, ask.
Speaker 7 (12:06):
Me anything and I'll tell you the truth.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
Kathy, anything at all, Jim. If you're going to play
poker tonight, don't you think you'd better get the table ready?
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Good grief? Is that what time it is?
Speaker 7 (12:17):
I don't care what you ask me, Bud. I'll tell
you nothing but the truth.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Give me a hand with a poker table like a
good fellow. Okay, how can.
Speaker 7 (12:26):
I tell the truth if nobody asks me anything?
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Kathy, go into the kitchen and help Betty with the dishes.
Speaker 7 (12:33):
But I want to tell the truth.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
Well, why don't you just handle it as it comes along? Oh?
Speaker 7 (12:39):
Can I?
Speaker 2 (12:39):
If nobody asks me anything, they will when.
Speaker 6 (12:45):
I think the table is down in the playroom, Dad, Bud,
ask your sister something?
Speaker 7 (12:50):
Why ask me, Bud, please about anything.
Speaker 6 (12:54):
I don't want to know anything you see?
Speaker 7 (13:00):
Will you help me?
Speaker 4 (13:01):
What's the matter with her? I don't know. I think
maybe I sold her too large a policy.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
All Right, Kathy into the kitchen.
Speaker 7 (13:12):
It isn't fair. I promised I tell the Truthren. Now
nobody will let me.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Jim I hope you haven't started something we can't control.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Don't worry about it, Honey. If I know Kathy, it'll
wear off in ten minutes.
Speaker 7 (13:24):
Flood.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Well, Dad, what worries me is that ten minutes, Honey.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
A simple thing like this can't cause any trouble. What can't, Dad?
You certainly can't get into trouble telling the truth? Can you?
Who can't? Dad? Bud? Can't you ever keep still about plot?
Dad into Kathy?
Speaker 9 (13:47):
She went tearing out the back door, shouting she was
gonna show everybody Jim and she hasn't even got a
sweater on.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
What's the matter with that child? All I said to
her was, I did it.
Speaker 7 (13:59):
I did it.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Kathy, come in here.
Speaker 7 (14:01):
I did it, Daddy, I cannot tell a lie. I
did it with a little hatchet.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
You did what I chuted down.
Speaker 7 (14:09):
Mommy's right.
Speaker 10 (14:28):
When it comes to child psychology, father might just as
well let mother take over. But so many other times, ladies,
it's that man of yours who's the expert worth listening to.
For example, when it comes to coffee, wonderfully good coffee
that spells the most impure pleasure for your family. Your
husband is the world's greatest expert. No two ways about it.
(14:51):
The number one expert on coffee is your husband. Now
you might say we're experts too. Coffee's our business, and
our Maxwell House coffee is enjoyed by more families than
any other brand at any price. But at home, when
you pour the coffee, the final judge. He's your husband,
and tomorrow, if you'll pour him a cup of our
(15:13):
Maxwell House, we promise he'll smile from ear to ear and.
Speaker 4 (15:17):
Say, marvelous, best coffee ever.
Speaker 10 (15:21):
We're sure he'll say that, so sure we'll give you
your money back if he doesn't. The truth is, we
know no coffee tastes like Maxwell House because no coffee's
made like Maxwell House. That famous good to the last
drop flavor comes from just one thing, our recipe, a
recipe demanding certain fine coffees blended just so, and only
(15:44):
Maxwell House has this recipe. So get a pound of
Maxwell House tomorrow, serve it to your husband. If he
doesn't say best coffee ever, why just send us the
can an unused portion, and we'll gladly refund every penny
you paid our addresses right on every blue tin. Tomorrow,
Then serve your family America's favorite brand of coffee, Maxwell
(16:08):
House Coffee always good to the last drop.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
It's less than an hour later. And for some reason,
we're reminded of what the poet Milton said in his
Immortal Paradise regain hard are the ways of proof and
rough to walk? Of course we aren't sure, but isn't
(16:33):
it just possible that the poet Milton might have had
a daughter like Kathy Anderson? Hmmm?
Speaker 7 (16:39):
I did too?
Speaker 4 (16:40):
You did not?
Speaker 7 (16:42):
He certainly did?
Speaker 6 (16:43):
You certainly didn't, bod what's going on out there?
Speaker 7 (16:47):
I did too, have a right to call her?
Speaker 6 (16:49):
Yet do you know what she did? She called Evelyn
Finney and told her I sent a Valentine to Nancy Moore.
Speaker 7 (16:55):
Well, was the truth, wasn't it?
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Jim?
Speaker 4 (16:58):
I told you in the beginning, Kathy.
Speaker 7 (17:00):
Who said you wanted me to tell the truth?
Speaker 6 (17:02):
Evelyn said she was never gonna talk to me again.
And it's all her fault.
Speaker 7 (17:06):
It is not my fault.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
It certainly is it?
Speaker 7 (17:09):
Certainly is?
Speaker 4 (17:10):
Oh wait a minute, both of you. Kathy, did you
call Evelyn Finny?
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Sure?
Speaker 7 (17:15):
I called her. I had to told her the truth,
didn't I?
Speaker 4 (17:18):
Mother?
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Oh, dear mother, do you know what that little monster did?
Speaker 9 (17:23):
She told Billy, oh there you are, just wait.
Speaker 7 (17:26):
Till I did.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
We were alone, Betty, But you don't.
Speaker 7 (17:28):
Know what she did. I told the truth. Fit's what
I did.
Speaker 9 (17:33):
She called Billy Smith and told him I was going
berg watching with Stanley on Sunday.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
Betty.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
I told him I was.
Speaker 7 (17:39):
Going over to Jennie Leggett. She told a big lie.
I did not.
Speaker 9 (17:45):
I am going over to Jenny's first.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Kathy, my life is ruined, my whole life.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
What are you kicking about? Evelyn?
Speaker 6 (17:55):
Finny won't even talk to me, and she's.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
Got all my biology notes the door, And I'm warning
you right now.
Speaker 6 (18:03):
If I've fun biology, it's all hurtful.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
Kathy. Yes, Daddy, let's get this straight once and for all.
Unless people ask you, you are not to tell them anything,
not even the true, not anything, not even missus Smith.
How did she get into this, Kathy?
Speaker 3 (18:25):
You haven't been talking to missus Smith?
Speaker 7 (18:27):
Well, sure, and she said.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
She wanted me to tell her anything else I found out.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
What did you tell missus Smith?
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Well?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I just told her that last Saturday, when mister Smith
was supposed to be working, I saw him go into
the bowling alley.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
That's all, Kathy, well.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
What was the truth, Jimmy, You've got to do something about.
Speaker 6 (18:54):
This, said mister Gribble.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
Oh no, not Gribble. Not go on into the den, JP,
We'll be right in okay, jim take your time.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
Did you invite him to the poker game?
Speaker 4 (19:08):
Of course not. He's the worst poker player in the
entire country.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
But if he finds out you're having a.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Game, we got to get rid of him before he
does find out. The boys won't play with him, and
I'll be in a jam.
Speaker 7 (19:18):
Why did I just tell him the truth?
Speaker 4 (19:22):
Kevin? If you so much as open your mouth, wait
a minute, I think I've got it, Betty, sneak out
into the hall and get our coats. Just your mother's
in mind, but father, ask any questions. Just do it,
please jump. This is a great idea, Honey. If he
thinks we're going out, he'll go someplace else.
Speaker 7 (19:41):
Isn't that telling a fifth?
Speaker 4 (19:44):
It's no such thing. We aren't going to tell him anything.
We're just going to put on our coats. And if
we want to put on our coats, why shouldn't we, right.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Margaret, Well, I suppose you can look at it that way.
Speaker 7 (19:58):
It still sounds like a fifth to me.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
Nobody asked you.
Speaker 9 (20:02):
You're the coat's father, and I brought your hats too.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Thank you, Betty. Jim, put your coat and hat on, Margaret,
let's go.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
I can't just put a hat on here it well,
then carry it. He'll get the idea, Jim, if only
you wouldn't get us into these situations.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Honey, how did I know he was going to stop by?
Just because his family's in Florida and he's at a
loose hand? Are you ready?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
I suppose? So?
Speaker 4 (20:23):
Okay, here we go. Now, Betty, you come along, and
if Kathy starts to say.
Speaker 9 (20:26):
Anything, I'll strangle her.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
Day that's the idea. Well, how are you? JP? But
now we're just sitting here? Oh? Just going out? Eh?
You and Mom going someplace? Dad? Well, as a matter
of fact.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
We hello, mister Gribble, Hello.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
Missus Anderson girl.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Hello.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
I suppose I should have called, but well, I wasn't
doing anything, and I just thought, too bad, isn't it? Kathy?
Speaker 7 (20:59):
He asked me, Daddy.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
You heard any Kathy?
Speaker 7 (21:02):
He said, isn't it too bad?
Speaker 4 (21:04):
And I have to tell you we weren't actually going out, JP.
We just got back. I've got a chance to take
off our coats. That's all. Oh, well, then I can
look forward to a pleasant evening after all. Yes, I
(21:24):
didn't hear you on my never mind, Bud, Would you
excuse us for a minute, JP, we've got to take
our coats off. Don't pay the least bit of attention
to me. I'll just make myself at home. I'm sure
you will come along, Kathy, but.
Speaker 7 (21:39):
I want to stay with mister Gribble.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
You heard your mother, Kathleen. You've got to leave mister
Gribble alone. Why don't you stop worrying, Jim. I'll just
sit here with the children, have a nice little chat,
won't die, Kathy?
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Yes, mister Gribble.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
Oh dear.
Speaker 9 (21:53):
Betty, I'll keep an eye on her father.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Okay, we who are about to die? Salute you. I
said we'll be right back, won't we hunting?
Speaker 3 (22:05):
Yes, yes, we'll be right back.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
Well, you're getting to be a big girl, aren't you
get it?
Speaker 9 (22:11):
Would you like to ask me something, Jim?
Speaker 3 (22:16):
What are we going to do?
Speaker 4 (22:16):
We got to work fast? Now you go next door
to the Davis's and tell ed the game is off?
Speaker 7 (22:20):
But is it?
Speaker 4 (22:21):
There's nothing else we can do, Margaret? I can't afford
to insult Gribble. And I've got to get in there
before Cathy starts popping off. Go out the back door.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
Then he won't see you, all right, Dear, I just
hope you know what you're doing.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
I just hope I come out of this alive. That's
what I hope. A fine birthday. This is turning out
to be. Oh no, not already.
Speaker 6 (22:40):
Want me to answer the door, Dad.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Uh, never mind, I'm right here. I'll be with you
in a minute, JP, take your dome grim Nor Hello, Jim.
Ed thought i'd come by a little early in case
you needed any help. Help. What I need is a doctor.
Margaret just went out the back door to try to
stop you that David. Yes, JP, he just came in
(23:02):
for a minute. Oh Ed, Hello, mister Gribble. We'll be
right in JP. Okay, Jim, I told you i'd never
play poker with him again. I didn't invite him. Man,
he doesn't even know there's going to be a game.
Well get rid of him, sure, and get rid of
all of his insurance business at the same time. Is
(23:23):
that what you want me to do? No? Look, why
don't you call the fellows and explain what happened? I
don't know, Jim. It's pretty late. Well, standing here isn't
going to make it any earlier. Oh no, not again.
I'll get it bad. Okay, So help me, Ed. Why
don't I just stand outside with a red flag and
a small pox sign? Very funny, alright, Jim Hector, I
(23:48):
want to tell you something. Oh, let me in. It's
cold on here, Hi, Ed, I've been better. Who hasn't? Eh?
Isn't this a miserable night? You don't know that half
of it?
Speaker 7 (24:01):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (24:01):
I still can't figure out how Elizabeth knew I went
to the bowling alley. Oh, you wouldn't know anything about it,
you see.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
I am everything all right on there, Oh shore, JP,
everything's fine. Gribble Heck, I was just explaining to her. Look, Jim,
I've had enough trouble today. You know.
Speaker 8 (24:21):
If you think I'm gonna play cards where that typefist
did not have it?
Speaker 4 (24:25):
Heck, I thought I recognized your boy. We'll be right in, JP, Jim.
We can't just stand here. If anybody else shows up,
he's gonna suspect something. What makes you think he doesn't already?
I know what we can do. Offer him a drink
and I'll slip in a mixture. That's a great idea.
(24:48):
This is a pleasant surprise. I didn't expect to see
you boys tonight. We were just standing here discussing a
little business deal. What we heck? Yes, business the hero Kim.
I'm offul sorry, I hadn't the finished idea. I was
interfering with anything. Why don't you tell me? Well, you
(25:08):
know how it is, JP, say Dad.
Speaker 6 (25:10):
Mister Gribble was telling me.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
We won't have time for that now, Bud. If you'll
get me my coat, I'll be running along. There isn't
any hurry, JP. We're just going to Bud. You heard
mister Gribble get his coat.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
But you just.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Said, holy cow, Well this seems like old times, doesn't it.
Somenight when you boys aren't so busy. Why don't we
get together for one of those gold fashioned poker sessions.
The funny thing, JP, We were just talking about the
same thing, weren't we, boys, Yeah? Sure were sure were.
Speaker 6 (25:51):
Here's your coat, mister Gribble.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Thank you. Let me give you a hand with the JP.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Oh, jerdy, Daddy, won't let me tell us your gribble
about your present?
Speaker 7 (26:00):
Not now, Kathy, Father, Everything I.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
Could, right, Betty, I'll take care of it, Kathy. Mister
gribbles in.
Speaker 7 (26:05):
A hurry, so didn't only take me a second to
tell him? Daddy?
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Kathy, let the child speak, Jim, don't be such a simon. Lagree,
what is it, dear?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
You know what I'm giving my daddy for a birthday present.
Speaker 7 (26:17):
I'm going to tell the whole truth to everybody.
Speaker 4 (26:20):
Well that's fine, Cathy.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Good Now, don't you want to ask me something?
Speaker 4 (26:25):
Kathy? Mister Gribbles leaving, But if he wants to ask,
he doesn't want to ask you anything, do you JP?
By NOA, I can't think of anything right now? You can't, no, did?
I'm sorry?
Speaker 7 (26:39):
Well, JP, why don't you ask me if my father's
going to have a.
Speaker 9 (26:42):
Poker party to.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
Sometime this weekend, maybe tomorrow.
Speaker 10 (27:13):
You'll buy the coffee you'll be serving next week, and
you'll want the one coffee that gives you the most
in flavor for your money. So take home the coffee
with the world's most famous flavor, our Maxwell House coffee.
Then tomorrow night, pour a cup of Maxwell House for
the world's greatest coffee expert, your husband. When he smiles
(27:34):
and says best coffee. Ever, you'll know why Maxwell House
is famous the world over for flavor. Then when you
add up all the wonderfully good cups of coffee you
get from every pound, you'll agree it's Maxwell House for
value too. So tomorrow at your grocer's look for the
sign of good coffee, the big white cup, and drop
(27:56):
on our friendly blue tin. That's Maxwell House, always good
to the last drop.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Robert Young. To day is
not only the birthday of George Washington and Jim Anderson,
it's my birthday as well. I've always felt very close
therefore to the basic ideals of Americanism and the principles
on which this country was founded. That all men are
created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with
(28:31):
certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and
the pursuit of happiness. You'll notice that nothing is said
about an individual race or color, that no mention is
made of a privileged faith or religion on this day. Therefore,
why don't we review for a moment our own personal
adherence to the rules of democracy and pledge ourselves to
(28:53):
a better life during the coming year. Let's not live
as members of a certain race or color or creed.
Let's live as Americans. Thank you psychology. At breakfast time,
(29:18):
I've found.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
A way to get the kids to eat a hot
cereal in the morning.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
I just give them post wheatmeal and tell them it's
Hopalong Cassidy's favorite hot cereal.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
My how they gobble it up.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Yes, ladies, tell your children that post tweetmeal is hop
Along Cassidy's favorite hot cereal, and they eat it too.
Post wheetmeal is chuck full of solid, whole wheat nourishment.
It has a wonderful nut like flavor, and it cooks
in only three and a half minutes. You'll see, you'll
all agree it's the best hot cereal you ever ate.
(29:51):
Join us again next week, when we'll be back with
Father Knows Best, starring Robert young Is, Jim Anderson, Roi
Bargie in the Maxwell House Orchestra in our cast, which
you and Whitley as Margaret Rohta, Williams, Ted Donaldson, Norman g. Nilsen,
Joseph Kerns, Heard Vigrant, Barney Phillips, and yours truly, Bill Forman.
So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from
(30:11):
the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee.
Always good to the last drop, Father Knows Best, was
transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now stay
tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of
these stations. Now it's exciting and authentic drag Net on MBC.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Listen your questions and comments to host at classiccomedyotr dot
com until next time. In the words of Betty White,
I just make it my business to get along with
people so I can have fun. It's that simple.
Welcome to classic comedy of old time radio. I'm your
host Ronicle Barger. When Kathy tells a big fat lie
on George Washington's birthday, which is also father's birthday, Father
explains to Kathy that she must always tell the truth,
just like George Washington. Of course, Kathy takes it a
(00:37):
bit too far. This is episode number seventy a Father
Knows Best, entitled Always Tell the Truth. It originally aired
on February twenty second, nineteen fifty one.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Mother is Naxwell House, the desk coffee in the whole world.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
When your father says so, and your father knows.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Best, Yes, it's father knows Best. Transcribed in Hollywood starring
Robert Young his father. A half hour visit with your neighbors,
the Andersons, brought to you by Maxwell House, the coffee
that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other
(01:20):
brand of coffee at any price. Maxwell House always good
to the last drop. Today, being the twenty second of February,
(01:42):
the people of America are engaged in a nationwide celebration
honoring the birth of the man who was first in war,
first in peace, and first in the hearts of his country.
In Springfield, in the white frame house on Maple Street.
The celebration has reached a melodic, conspirated climax like this.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
Happy birthday, dear fire, Happy birthday to you.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
For both George Washington and myself. I say thank you,
ladies and Jim.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Don't you think you'd better blow out the candles before
they drip all over the cake?
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Okay, hang out to your chairs. Kids. This is going
to be like blowing out a forest fire. It's harder
every year. Now, I suppose we forget about the speech
and concentrate on the cake. May I have your plate? Margaret?
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Just a small piece, dear? All right, here you are, Jim,
I said, a small piece.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Well, it's my birthday. I'm in a generous move, Betty.
Speaker 6 (02:54):
Thank you, father, but don't worry about getting mine too,
big Dad?
Speaker 4 (02:59):
All right, how's that gm?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Not the whole cake?
Speaker 6 (03:03):
Leave him alone? Mom, he's doing fine.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Boy, Bud. When you feel the explosion coming on, give
us time to step back. Okay, Dad, Kathy?
Speaker 7 (03:15):
Is it all right if I don't eat any cake?
Daddy or Kathy?
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Don't you feel well? Oh?
Speaker 7 (03:21):
No, I feel fine. I just don't want any cake.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
That's all are you sure, Kathy, Yes, Daddy, I'm sure.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Well okay, why don't you open the presence?
Speaker 4 (03:33):
Father? Don't you think I ought to have a chance
to eat my cake?
Speaker 6 (03:36):
It'll only take a minute, Dad.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
But if I well, okay, let's see now. This one
says with all my love Margaret, Thank you, dear.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
I hope you like it.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
I'm sure I will.
Speaker 7 (03:47):
Daddy, I mean, I please be excused?
Speaker 4 (03:50):
What for? Don't you want to see what I say?
That's beautiful and it's exactly what I needed. What is it?
Speaker 8 (04:05):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
It's it's a golf pouch for your bills. And it's
real leather.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Oh, I see tease on the outside, money on the inside.
That's a good idea. Thank you, honey.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
You're welcome, dear.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Ah. This is a big one, isn't it. Happy birthday, father, dear,
lots of joy this coming year. May your troubles all
be petty lovingly your daughter Betty, Oh, never mind, Bud,
that's very sweet, Betty, thank you very much.
Speaker 9 (04:38):
You're welcome.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Father.
Speaker 7 (04:39):
Don't you think I ought to go upstairs and do
my homework?
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Why, Kathy, we're having a party. This is no time
to do homework.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Well, their binocular's.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Father, I know, but the nan said you could see
passively anything with them.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
That's fine. But these are kind of expensive, aren't they.
Where'd you get the money to buy them?
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (05:02):
I just made the down payment, I see, and I'm
supposed to.
Speaker 9 (05:10):
There's only a balance of eighty five dollars.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Father. Well that's nice, especially when I need binoculars like
I need an extra head.
Speaker 9 (05:21):
You mean you don't like them?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
Oh? I like them. Fine, I can use them for
finding people who want to buy insurance.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Jim. I'm sure Betty won't mind if you turn them
in for something more practical, will you, Betty? No?
Speaker 9 (05:35):
But he doesn't have to before Monday, does he?
Speaker 4 (05:38):
What happens on Monday?
Speaker 9 (05:39):
Well not Monday, father. You see, Stanley Lawson is a
bird watcher, and Sunday he's gonna take me out and
show me how you watch.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Birds with my binoculars.
Speaker 9 (05:50):
Well, I didn't think he'd mind if I borrowed them,
just this one.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
You can watch them through Stanley Lawson's binoculars one eye.
Speaker 6 (05:57):
Apiece jumping creep for open mind.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Not the eighty five dollars Jim Bud's present. Oh, I'm sorry, Bud. Oh,
I'm sorry, Bud, I'll live. Well. Now that's a tender sentiment.
What does it say from Bud? Isn't that nice?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Jim?
Speaker 7 (06:23):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (06:24):
Gee, I don't know how to write poetry or anything.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Is this one all paid for? Sure? You don't have
to write poetry. Father. There's nothing I like better than well,
a camera.
Speaker 6 (06:38):
But it's got a flash attachment and everything.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
It's very nice. Of course, you realize that I've already
got a camera, I know.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
But you will never lend it to me.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
I see. Thank you very much, Bud.
Speaker 6 (06:55):
You're welcome.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Well, I guess that takes care of the presents, Kathy.
Speaker 7 (07:00):
I better go inside and practice.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Kathy, what about your present?
Speaker 7 (07:05):
I don't have any present.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
MoMA money, It doesn't make any difference.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
I gave her fifty cents to buy a present, and
I want to know what happened to it?
Speaker 4 (07:12):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (07:14):
Well, Kathy, didn't I tell you about that? Mommy?
Speaker 9 (07:19):
Oh it was awful.
Speaker 7 (07:21):
What was what happened to the fifty cents?
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I was going down to mister Crandell's drug store to
buy the present, and you know the empty store next
to mister Crandall's. Yes, well, nine men with beards on
gratig guns, jumped out of the store and grabbed me,
and they knocked me down, and they took my fifty cents,
and one of them said, you'd better not tell anybody or.
Speaker 7 (07:45):
We'll kill you.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Oh happy, Well they did, and I said, you better
give me back my fifty cents.
Speaker 7 (07:58):
That's to buy a birthday present form Mie, Daddy.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
And then they all said ha ha, and then they
ran away.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
I have never.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Is that all, Kathy.
Speaker 7 (08:11):
I couldn't help it, Daddy. There were nine of.
Speaker 6 (08:14):
Them, Holy cow, if you believe never.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Mind, Bud, I'll handle this, Kathy. Yes, Daddy, you're sure
there were only nine men, Yes, Daddy, with beards and guns.
Sounds like the old Capone gang.
Speaker 7 (08:31):
That's who they looked like.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
Uh, what's that spot on the front of your dress?
Spot looks like chocolate, doesn't it, Margaret?
Speaker 3 (08:42):
It is chocolate.
Speaker 7 (08:44):
Maybe one of the men had chocolate on his gun.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
And when he stuck me up, why don't you tell
us the truth?
Speaker 7 (08:53):
But it is the truth, Daddy.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
I was walking down the streets, all right, never mind, Margaret.
Why don't you and button Betty see what's doing in
the kitchen. I'd like to have a little talk with Kathy.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
All right, dear, come on, Betty Bud, we'll start on
the sandwiches for the poker party. Nine men with beards?
Speaker 4 (09:11):
What about my cake?
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Bring it with you? Stop talking with your mother?
Speaker 4 (09:15):
Full boy?
Speaker 6 (09:16):
She dreamed up a pit this time, didn't she?
Speaker 4 (09:21):
Kathy?
Speaker 7 (09:21):
Yes, Daddy?
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Now, would you like to tell me the truth about what?
Speaker 7 (09:26):
Daddy?
Speaker 4 (09:27):
About the fifty cents?
Speaker 7 (09:29):
Oh? But I did. I was walking along minding my.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Business, went out of an orange colored sky? What never mind?
How many sodas did you have this afternoon?
Speaker 9 (09:43):
Why?
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Ddy, I didn't have kby.
Speaker 7 (09:47):
Three.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
I couldn't help, But Daddy, I only meant to have one,
and the first thing I knew.
Speaker 9 (09:57):
The whole fifty cents was gone.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Well, why didn't you tell me that in the first place?
Speaker 7 (10:02):
I didn't want you to spank me.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
So you made up that horrible lie.
Speaker 7 (10:08):
It was the only one I could think.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Of, Kathy? What are we gonna do with you? I
don't know of all the days to tell a lie.
George Washington's birthday in yours too. Do you realize that
in his whole life, George Washington never told a single lie.
He didn't He certainly didn't when he chopped down his
(10:32):
father's cherry tree, he said, I cannot tell a lie.
I did it with my little hatchet. Did he get spanked,
of course not because he told the truth. And when
he grew up and the people were looking for a
president to be father of this country, they said, let's
get George Washington. He never gets into trouble. Of course,
in those days there weren't any music critics.
Speaker 7 (11:06):
Daddy.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
If I always tell the truth, can I get to
be the father of my country.
Speaker 7 (11:12):
Well and be the president?
Speaker 4 (11:17):
It's possible. Heaven help us, Kathy. Do you know what
I'd like for a president more than anything in the world,
for you to tell the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
You mean, that's all you want, That's all, and you
won't be mad at me anymore.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
I'll be the happiest father in Springfield, Daddy.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I won't ever tell another lie, not ever again, as
long as I live.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
That's a promise.
Speaker 7 (11:45):
Now, Oh yes, Daddy, all right, we'll.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
See what happened. It's all right, honey, We've got everything
all settled.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I'm going to be the president. I'm going to tell
the truth about everything, no matter.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
What happens that fine, Dear Jim.
Speaker 7 (12:02):
That's what I'm giving Daddy for his birthday.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
All right, Kathy, Jim, ask.
Speaker 7 (12:06):
Me anything and I'll tell you the truth.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
Kathy, anything at all, Jim. If you're going to play
poker tonight, don't you think you'd better get the table ready?
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Good grief? Is that what time it is?
Speaker 7 (12:17):
I don't care what you ask me, Bud. I'll tell
you nothing but the truth.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Give me a hand with a poker table like a
good fellow. Okay, how can.
Speaker 7 (12:26):
I tell the truth if nobody asks me anything?
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Kathy, go into the kitchen and help Betty with the dishes.
Speaker 7 (12:33):
But I want to tell the truth.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
Well, why don't you just handle it as it comes along? Oh?
Speaker 7 (12:39):
Can I?
Speaker 2 (12:39):
If nobody asks me anything, they will when.
Speaker 6 (12:45):
I think the table is down in the playroom, Dad, Bud,
ask your sister something?
Speaker 7 (12:50):
Why ask me, Bud, please about anything.
Speaker 6 (12:54):
I don't want to know anything you see?
Speaker 7 (13:00):
Will you help me?
Speaker 4 (13:01):
What's the matter with her? I don't know. I think
maybe I sold her too large a policy.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
All Right, Kathy into the kitchen.
Speaker 7 (13:12):
It isn't fair. I promised I tell the Truthren. Now
nobody will let me.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Jim I hope you haven't started something we can't control.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Don't worry about it, Honey. If I know Kathy, it'll
wear off in ten minutes.
Speaker 7 (13:24):
Flood.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Well, Dad, what worries me is that ten minutes, Honey.
Speaker 4 (13:27):
A simple thing like this can't cause any trouble. What can't, Dad?
You certainly can't get into trouble telling the truth? Can you?
Who can't? Dad? Bud? Can't you ever keep still about plot?
Dad into Kathy?
Speaker 9 (13:47):
She went tearing out the back door, shouting she was
gonna show everybody Jim and she hasn't even got a
sweater on.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
What's the matter with that child? All I said to
her was, I did it.
Speaker 7 (13:59):
I did it.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Kathy, come in here.
Speaker 7 (14:01):
I did it, Daddy, I cannot tell a lie. I
did it with a little hatchet.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
You did what I chuted down.
Speaker 7 (14:09):
Mommy's right.
Speaker 10 (14:28):
When it comes to child psychology, father might just as
well let mother take over. But so many other times, ladies,
it's that man of yours who's the expert worth listening to.
For example, when it comes to coffee, wonderfully good coffee
that spells the most impure pleasure for your family. Your
husband is the world's greatest expert. No two ways about it.
(14:51):
The number one expert on coffee is your husband. Now
you might say we're experts too. Coffee's our business, and
our Maxwell House coffee is enjoyed by more families than
any other brand at any price. But at home, when
you pour the coffee, the final judge. He's your husband,
and tomorrow, if you'll pour him a cup of our
(15:13):
Maxwell House, we promise he'll smile from ear to ear and.
Speaker 4 (15:17):
Say, marvelous, best coffee ever.
Speaker 10 (15:21):
We're sure he'll say that, so sure we'll give you
your money back if he doesn't. The truth is, we
know no coffee tastes like Maxwell House because no coffee's
made like Maxwell House. That famous good to the last
drop flavor comes from just one thing, our recipe, a
recipe demanding certain fine coffees blended just so, and only
(15:44):
Maxwell House has this recipe. So get a pound of
Maxwell House tomorrow, serve it to your husband. If he
doesn't say best coffee ever, why just send us the
can an unused portion, and we'll gladly refund every penny
you paid our addresses right on every blue tin. Tomorrow,
Then serve your family America's favorite brand of coffee, Maxwell
(16:08):
House Coffee always good to the last drop.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
It's less than an hour later. And for some reason,
we're reminded of what the poet Milton said in his
Immortal Paradise regain hard are the ways of proof and
rough to walk? Of course we aren't sure, but isn't
(16:33):
it just possible that the poet Milton might have had
a daughter like Kathy Anderson? Hmmm?
Speaker 7 (16:39):
I did too?
Speaker 4 (16:40):
You did not?
Speaker 7 (16:42):
He certainly did?
Speaker 6 (16:43):
You certainly didn't, bod what's going on out there?
Speaker 7 (16:47):
I did too, have a right to call her?
Speaker 6 (16:49):
Yet do you know what she did? She called Evelyn
Finney and told her I sent a Valentine to Nancy Moore.
Speaker 7 (16:55):
Well, was the truth, wasn't it?
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Jim?
Speaker 4 (16:58):
I told you in the beginning, Kathy.
Speaker 7 (17:00):
Who said you wanted me to tell the truth?
Speaker 6 (17:02):
Evelyn said she was never gonna talk to me again.
And it's all her fault.
Speaker 7 (17:06):
It is not my fault.
Speaker 4 (17:07):
It certainly is it?
Speaker 7 (17:09):
Certainly is?
Speaker 4 (17:10):
Oh wait a minute, both of you. Kathy, did you
call Evelyn Finny?
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Sure?
Speaker 7 (17:15):
I called her. I had to told her the truth,
didn't I?
Speaker 4 (17:18):
Mother?
Speaker 3 (17:19):
Oh, dear mother, do you know what that little monster did?
Speaker 9 (17:23):
She told Billy, oh there you are, just wait.
Speaker 7 (17:26):
Till I did.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
We were alone, Betty, But you don't.
Speaker 7 (17:28):
Know what she did. I told the truth. Fit's what
I did.
Speaker 9 (17:33):
She called Billy Smith and told him I was going
berg watching with Stanley on Sunday.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
Betty.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
I told him I was.
Speaker 7 (17:39):
Going over to Jennie Leggett. She told a big lie.
I did not.
Speaker 9 (17:45):
I am going over to Jenny's first.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Kathy, my life is ruined, my whole life.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
What are you kicking about? Evelyn?
Speaker 6 (17:55):
Finny won't even talk to me, and she's.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
Got all my biology notes the door, And I'm warning
you right now.
Speaker 6 (18:03):
If I've fun biology, it's all hurtful.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
Kathy. Yes, Daddy, let's get this straight once and for all.
Unless people ask you, you are not to tell them anything,
not even the true, not anything, not even missus Smith.
How did she get into this, Kathy?
Speaker 3 (18:25):
You haven't been talking to missus Smith?
Speaker 7 (18:27):
Well, sure, and she said.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
She wanted me to tell her anything else I found out.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
What did you tell missus Smith?
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Well?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I just told her that last Saturday, when mister Smith
was supposed to be working, I saw him go into
the bowling alley.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
That's all, Kathy, well.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
What was the truth, Jimmy, You've got to do something about.
Speaker 6 (18:54):
This, said mister Gribble.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
Oh no, not Gribble. Not go on into the den, JP,
We'll be right in okay, jim take your time.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
Did you invite him to the poker game?
Speaker 4 (19:08):
Of course not. He's the worst poker player in the
entire country.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
But if he finds out you're having a.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
Game, we got to get rid of him before he
does find out. The boys won't play with him, and
I'll be in a jam.
Speaker 7 (19:18):
Why did I just tell him the truth?
Speaker 4 (19:22):
Kevin? If you so much as open your mouth, wait
a minute, I think I've got it, Betty, sneak out
into the hall and get our coats. Just your mother's
in mind, but father, ask any questions. Just do it,
please jump. This is a great idea, Honey. If he
thinks we're going out, he'll go someplace else.
Speaker 7 (19:41):
Isn't that telling a fifth?
Speaker 4 (19:44):
It's no such thing. We aren't going to tell him anything.
We're just going to put on our coats. And if
we want to put on our coats, why shouldn't we, right.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Margaret, Well, I suppose you can look at it that way.
Speaker 7 (19:58):
It still sounds like a fifth to me.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
Nobody asked you.
Speaker 9 (20:02):
You're the coat's father, and I brought your hats too.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Thank you, Betty. Jim, put your coat and hat on, Margaret,
let's go.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
I can't just put a hat on here it well,
then carry it. He'll get the idea, Jim, if only
you wouldn't get us into these situations.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Honey, how did I know he was going to stop by?
Just because his family's in Florida and he's at a
loose hand? Are you ready?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
I suppose? So?
Speaker 4 (20:23):
Okay, here we go. Now, Betty, you come along, and
if Kathy starts to say.
Speaker 9 (20:26):
Anything, I'll strangle her.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
Day that's the idea. Well, how are you? JP? But
now we're just sitting here? Oh? Just going out? Eh?
You and Mom going someplace? Dad? Well, as a matter
of fact.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
We hello, mister Gribble, Hello.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
Missus Anderson girl.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Hello.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
I suppose I should have called, but well, I wasn't
doing anything, and I just thought, too bad, isn't it? Kathy?
Speaker 7 (20:59):
He asked me, Daddy.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
You heard any Kathy?
Speaker 7 (21:02):
He said, isn't it too bad?
Speaker 4 (21:04):
And I have to tell you we weren't actually going out, JP.
We just got back. I've got a chance to take
off our coats. That's all. Oh, well, then I can
look forward to a pleasant evening after all. Yes, I
(21:24):
didn't hear you on my never mind, Bud, Would you
excuse us for a minute, JP, we've got to take
our coats off. Don't pay the least bit of attention
to me. I'll just make myself at home. I'm sure
you will come along, Kathy, but.
Speaker 7 (21:39):
I want to stay with mister Gribble.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
You heard your mother, Kathleen. You've got to leave mister
Gribble alone. Why don't you stop worrying, Jim. I'll just
sit here with the children, have a nice little chat,
won't die, Kathy?
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Yes, mister Gribble.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
Oh dear.
Speaker 9 (21:53):
Betty, I'll keep an eye on her father.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Okay, we who are about to die? Salute you. I
said we'll be right back, won't we hunting?
Speaker 3 (22:05):
Yes, yes, we'll be right back.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
Well, you're getting to be a big girl, aren't you
get it?
Speaker 9 (22:11):
Would you like to ask me something, Jim?
Speaker 3 (22:16):
What are we going to do?
Speaker 4 (22:16):
We got to work fast? Now you go next door
to the Davis's and tell ed the game is off?
Speaker 7 (22:20):
But is it?
Speaker 4 (22:21):
There's nothing else we can do, Margaret? I can't afford
to insult Gribble. And I've got to get in there
before Cathy starts popping off. Go out the back door.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
Then he won't see you, all right, Dear, I just
hope you know what you're doing.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
I just hope I come out of this alive. That's
what I hope. A fine birthday. This is turning out
to be. Oh no, not already.
Speaker 6 (22:40):
Want me to answer the door, Dad.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Uh, never mind, I'm right here. I'll be with you
in a minute, JP, take your dome grim Nor Hello, Jim.
Ed thought i'd come by a little early in case
you needed any help. Help. What I need is a doctor.
Margaret just went out the back door to try to
stop you that David. Yes, JP, he just came in
(23:02):
for a minute. Oh Ed, Hello, mister Gribble. We'll be
right in JP. Okay, Jim, I told you i'd never
play poker with him again. I didn't invite him. Man,
he doesn't even know there's going to be a game.
Well get rid of him, sure, and get rid of
all of his insurance business at the same time. Is
(23:23):
that what you want me to do? No? Look, why
don't you call the fellows and explain what happened? I
don't know, Jim. It's pretty late. Well, standing here isn't
going to make it any earlier. Oh no, not again.
I'll get it bad. Okay, So help me, Ed. Why
don't I just stand outside with a red flag and
a small pox sign? Very funny, alright, Jim Hector, I
(23:48):
want to tell you something. Oh, let me in. It's
cold on here, Hi, Ed, I've been better. Who hasn't? Eh?
Isn't this a miserable night? You don't know that half
of it?
Speaker 7 (24:01):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (24:01):
I still can't figure out how Elizabeth knew I went
to the bowling alley. Oh, you wouldn't know anything about it,
you see.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
I am everything all right on there, Oh shore, JP,
everything's fine. Gribble Heck, I was just explaining to her. Look, Jim,
I've had enough trouble today. You know.
Speaker 8 (24:21):
If you think I'm gonna play cards where that typefist
did not have it?
Speaker 4 (24:25):
Heck, I thought I recognized your boy. We'll be right in, JP, Jim.
We can't just stand here. If anybody else shows up,
he's gonna suspect something. What makes you think he doesn't already?
I know what we can do. Offer him a drink
and I'll slip in a mixture. That's a great idea.
(24:48):
This is a pleasant surprise. I didn't expect to see
you boys tonight. We were just standing here discussing a
little business deal. What we heck? Yes, business the hero Kim.
I'm offul sorry, I hadn't the finished idea. I was
interfering with anything. Why don't you tell me? Well, you
(25:08):
know how it is, JP, say Dad.
Speaker 6 (25:10):
Mister Gribble was telling me.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
We won't have time for that now, Bud. If you'll
get me my coat, I'll be running along. There isn't
any hurry, JP. We're just going to Bud. You heard
mister Gribble get his coat.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
But you just.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Said, holy cow, Well this seems like old times, doesn't it.
Somenight when you boys aren't so busy. Why don't we
get together for one of those gold fashioned poker sessions.
The funny thing, JP, We were just talking about the
same thing, weren't we, boys, Yeah? Sure were sure were.
Speaker 6 (25:51):
Here's your coat, mister Gribble.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Thank you. Let me give you a hand with the JP.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Oh, jerdy, Daddy, won't let me tell us your gribble
about your present?
Speaker 7 (26:00):
Not now, Kathy, Father, Everything I.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
Could, right, Betty, I'll take care of it, Kathy. Mister
gribbles in.
Speaker 7 (26:05):
A hurry, so didn't only take me a second to
tell him? Daddy?
Speaker 4 (26:08):
Kathy, let the child speak, Jim, don't be such a simon. Lagree,
what is it, dear?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
You know what I'm giving my daddy for a birthday present.
Speaker 7 (26:17):
I'm going to tell the whole truth to everybody.
Speaker 4 (26:20):
Well that's fine, Cathy.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
Good Now, don't you want to ask me something?
Speaker 4 (26:25):
Kathy? Mister Gribbles leaving, But if he wants to ask,
he doesn't want to ask you anything, do you JP?
By NOA, I can't think of anything right now? You can't, no, did?
I'm sorry?
Speaker 7 (26:39):
Well, JP, why don't you ask me if my father's
going to have a.
Speaker 9 (26:42):
Poker party to.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
Sometime this weekend, maybe tomorrow.
Speaker 10 (27:13):
You'll buy the coffee you'll be serving next week, and
you'll want the one coffee that gives you the most
in flavor for your money. So take home the coffee
with the world's most famous flavor, our Maxwell House coffee.
Then tomorrow night, pour a cup of Maxwell House for
the world's greatest coffee expert, your husband. When he smiles
(27:34):
and says best coffee. Ever, you'll know why Maxwell House
is famous the world over for flavor. Then when you
add up all the wonderfully good cups of coffee you
get from every pound, you'll agree it's Maxwell House for
value too. So tomorrow at your grocer's look for the
sign of good coffee, the big white cup, and drop
(27:56):
on our friendly blue tin. That's Maxwell House, always good
to the last drop.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Robert Young. To day is
not only the birthday of George Washington and Jim Anderson,
it's my birthday as well. I've always felt very close
therefore to the basic ideals of Americanism and the principles
on which this country was founded. That all men are
created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with
(28:31):
certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and
the pursuit of happiness. You'll notice that nothing is said
about an individual race or color, that no mention is
made of a privileged faith or religion on this day. Therefore,
why don't we review for a moment our own personal
adherence to the rules of democracy and pledge ourselves to
(28:53):
a better life during the coming year. Let's not live
as members of a certain race or color or creed.
Let's live as Americans. Thank you psychology. At breakfast time,
(29:18):
I've found.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
A way to get the kids to eat a hot
cereal in the morning.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
I just give them post wheatmeal and tell them it's
Hopalong Cassidy's favorite hot cereal.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
My how they gobble it up.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Yes, ladies, tell your children that post tweetmeal is hop
Along Cassidy's favorite hot cereal, and they eat it too.
Post wheetmeal is chuck full of solid, whole wheat nourishment.
It has a wonderful nut like flavor, and it cooks
in only three and a half minutes. You'll see, you'll
all agree it's the best hot cereal you ever ate.
(29:51):
Join us again next week, when we'll be back with
Father Knows Best, starring Robert young Is, Jim Anderson, Roi
Bargie in the Maxwell House Orchestra in our cast, which
you and Whitley as Margaret Rohta, Williams, Ted Donaldson, Norman g. Nilsen,
Joseph Kerns, Heard Vigrant, Barney Phillips, and yours truly, Bill Forman.
So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from
(30:11):
the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee.
Always good to the last drop, Father Knows Best, was
transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now stay
tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of
these stations. Now it's exciting and authentic drag Net on MBC.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Listen your questions and comments to host at classiccomedyotr dot
com until next time. In the words of Betty White,
I just make it my business to get along with
people so I can have fun. It's that simple.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Are You A Charlotte?
In 1997, actress Kristin Davis’ life was forever changed when she took on the role of Charlotte York in Sex and the City. As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte navigate relationships in NYC, the show helped push once unacceptable conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships. Now, Kristin Davis wants to connect with you, the fans, and share untold stories and all the behind the scenes. Together, with Kristin and special guests, what will begin with Sex and the City will evolve into talks about themes that are still so relevant today. "Are you a Charlotte?" is much more than just rewatching this beloved show, it brings the past and the present together as we talk with heart, humor and of course some optimism.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.