October 27, 2025 • 30 mins
When Betty invites her well-to-do boyfriend and his parents for dinner, it sets off a redecorating spree that leaves everyone frazzled.
Originally aired on January 18, 1951. This is episode 65 of Father Knows Best.
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Originally aired on January 18, 1951. This is episode 65 of Father Knows Best.
Please email questions and comments to host@classiccomedyotr.com.
Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/classiccomedyotr. Please share this podcast with your friends and family.
You can also subscribe to our podcast on Spreaker.com, Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Google podcasts.
This show is supported by Spreaker Prime.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome to classic comedy of old time radio. I'm your
host Ron Ecklebarger. When Betty invites her well to do
boyfriend and his parents for dinner, it sets off a
redecorating spree that leaves everyone frazzled. This is episode number
sixty five of Father Knows Best, and it is entitled
(00:37):
Redecoration Woes. It originally aired on January eighteenth, nineteen fifty one.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Mother, is Naxwell House really the only coffee in the.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
World where your father says so and your father knows best?
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Yes, it's Father Knows Best, Transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert
Young as Father.
Speaker 5 (01:09):
A half hour visit with your neighbors.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
The Andersons, brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House,
the coffee that's always good.
Speaker 6 (01:18):
To the last dropt.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
In the third act of Romeo and Juliet, the fair
Miscapula comes up with a dylly was ever book containing
such vile matter so fairly bound? She asks, do you
know what she meant? Don't judge a book by its cover.
That's all well in Springfield, in the white frame house
on Maple Street, the Andersons aren't quite as flowery as
(01:53):
Julia but they're going to be given a treat just
the same in the fine art of judging books and
other things like this, Margaret, I'm home, my Margaret.
Speaker 7 (02:09):
M but I had to mother. There wasn't anything else
I could do.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
It was going on in here, didn't you hear me call?
Speaker 8 (02:15):
I'm sorry, dear. We didn't know you'd come in.
Speaker 9 (02:18):
Oh, I've been standing in the hall for ten minutes
screaming my head off.
Speaker 8 (02:22):
Where we seem to have a little problem.
Speaker 7 (02:24):
Father.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I couldn't help it, really, I couldn't.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
What did you do now?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
She's in love, Kathy?
Speaker 6 (02:31):
Mush, that's all it is, just plain mush.
Speaker 9 (02:34):
Never mind, Bud, Margaret, I uh, may be a little dense,
but since when does Betty falling in love.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
Constitute a problem?
Speaker 7 (02:41):
Father?
Speaker 5 (02:42):
She changes boyfriends like I changed.
Speaker 8 (02:44):
My socks, Jim. The problem is not Betty's new boyfriend.
Speaker 5 (02:49):
Well, Kathy just said I.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Said she was in love, and she is.
Speaker 7 (02:53):
Why don't you mind your own business? I do.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I mind everybody's business.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
That's all it is, Mush.
Speaker 9 (03:04):
But if that's the most you can add to the
general conversation.
Speaker 6 (03:07):
Oh, holy cow, Dad, I'm hungry.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
We'll have dinner A very few minutes, but not until
your father knows what Betty has done done.
Speaker 7 (03:15):
You make it sound like I've robbed the bank, has she? Father?
Speaker 5 (03:20):
And stop saying.
Speaker 8 (03:21):
Father jumping creepers.
Speaker 9 (03:25):
That's better, Jim, Honey, give me the horrible details of
Betty's latest crime, and let's eat.
Speaker 8 (03:34):
She invited the Van Nortons to Sunday dinner.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
Fine.
Speaker 9 (03:37):
Now, if it's who the Van Norton's, the Van Norton's,
the Van Norton's.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
What did she do that for?
Speaker 7 (03:47):
I told you, father, I couldn't help it.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
She thinks he's gorgeous.
Speaker 8 (03:53):
I do not.
Speaker 7 (03:54):
Oh you told Jay leg anywre I never did.
Speaker 6 (03:57):
Kathy, Oh you did too.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
You took the.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Phone into the hall closet and you thought I couldn't hear,
And you told Jane mother.
Speaker 5 (04:06):
All right girl, good father. I said that'll be enough.
Speaker 8 (04:11):
Daddy.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yes, she said he was gorgeous.
Speaker 6 (04:17):
Mush, that's all it is.
Speaker 9 (04:19):
Mush. Look, as long as we're getting into this thing,
let's start from the beginning.
Speaker 5 (04:29):
Who is gorgeous Roger van Norton?
Speaker 7 (04:32):
Only I never said he was.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
She did too, Kathy.
Speaker 9 (04:36):
You stay out of this, yes, Daddy, And I want
you to tell me something, I'll.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Ask you, Yes, Daddy, all right, but she did, Margaret.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
There's nothing very complicated about it, Jim, Roger Van Norton
and Betty have been seeing quite a bit of one
another at school.
Speaker 8 (04:53):
He has a convertible.
Speaker 5 (04:55):
Well, if it isn't complicated, what's the problem.
Speaker 6 (04:57):
It gets complicated later.
Speaker 5 (05:00):
Thank you very much, you're welcome.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Betty invited Roger to dinner, well, only because he said
he thought it'd be nice.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
I see, he's the subtle kind. He's a drip.
Speaker 7 (05:13):
Mother, If you don't make them start.
Speaker 9 (05:15):
When you have as much money as the Van Norton's,
you can't be a drip.
Speaker 6 (05:19):
He's a rich drip.
Speaker 7 (05:23):
He is one of the nicest boys in the whole school.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
And he's coming to dinner with his family and his convertible.
Speaker 5 (05:33):
That's the part.
Speaker 9 (05:34):
I don't understand, the convertible, the family.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
I don't understand any of it.
Speaker 7 (05:41):
It wasn't my idea, father, about the family. He said
he thought it'd be nice.
Speaker 8 (05:46):
What would if we met?
Speaker 5 (05:49):
I thought you knew him.
Speaker 8 (05:51):
She means the family's dear, Oh.
Speaker 9 (05:55):
Not the convertibles.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
We don't have a convertible.
Speaker 6 (06:03):
That was a joke. Dopey. What was what Dad said?
It was kind of a joke.
Speaker 9 (06:15):
Oh well, now that that's all straightened perfectly, I asked
just one more question.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
What's the problem?
Speaker 6 (06:23):
Father?
Speaker 5 (06:24):
We just told you.
Speaker 9 (06:27):
Look, let's make believe I just got back from a
long trip into the heart of the African jungle. We
haven't seen one another in almost eight years, and I say,
what's the problem?
Speaker 5 (06:38):
Now? What do you say?
Speaker 9 (06:41):
Who?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Daddy? Well, he said, we hadn't seen him in eight years.
Speaker 8 (06:50):
Jim, It's really very simple.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
The whole problem is the rose chair in the living room.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
I think I'll go back to the jungle.
Speaker 7 (07:02):
Father, You've never seen the Van Norton's house. It has
a swimming pool and a tennis court.
Speaker 9 (07:07):
I still don't be what's that got to do with
the rose chair in.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
The living room being repaired, isn't it.
Speaker 8 (07:14):
They brought it back today?
Speaker 10 (07:16):
All right.
Speaker 9 (07:16):
If they didn't do a good job, make them do
it over.
Speaker 8 (07:18):
They did a wonderful job, dear. It looks just like new, and.
Speaker 7 (07:22):
It makes everything else look awful.
Speaker 9 (07:26):
Wait a minute, you mean because we have one chair recovered,
we've got to have the whole house done over.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Oh no, dear, Well, just the living room.
Speaker 9 (07:40):
If Betty wants to invite the van Norton's over for dinner,
that's all right. I'm as broad minded as anybody. Just
because the Van Norton's are the richest people in Springfield,
that doesn't mean they aren't as good as anyone else.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
They might very easily be.
Speaker 7 (07:53):
The doorbell rang.
Speaker 9 (07:54):
When you tell me I've got to have the whole
living room done over, well, that's carrying things a little too.
Speaker 8 (08:00):
Far, Jim.
Speaker 7 (08:01):
The doorbell rang.
Speaker 9 (08:02):
As far as I'm concerned, the living room looks fine.
And if anybody thinks I'm going to change it, they've
got another thing coming.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
The doorbell rang, but it just needs a little paint.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
But didn't you hear the doorbell?
Speaker 6 (08:16):
Sure?
Speaker 5 (08:17):
Well, what are you waiting for?
Speaker 6 (08:18):
Betty shook her head.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
Margaret.
Speaker 9 (08:21):
I don't know what's gotten into these children, I swear
I don't.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
They don't even make sense.
Speaker 7 (08:26):
I didn't do anything.
Speaker 9 (08:28):
Bud, See who's at the door.
Speaker 6 (08:30):
Why blame it on me?
Speaker 9 (08:31):
I didn't shake my head.
Speaker 8 (08:33):
It be Jim. I think there's something you ought to know.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
I think there are a lot of things I ought
to know.
Speaker 7 (08:41):
Father, Promise you won't make a scene about what the decorator.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
What decorator?
Speaker 8 (08:48):
The one who rang the bell.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
You sent for a decorator.
Speaker 6 (08:55):
It's mister worthing Ken.
Speaker 8 (08:56):
Oh, dear, tell him, we'll be right in.
Speaker 5 (08:59):
Tell him to go away.
Speaker 9 (09:00):
Jim, Please, honey, I told.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
You in the very Denny, why don't you and Kathy
go into the living room and entertain mister Worthington.
Speaker 7 (09:08):
But I want to tell father.
Speaker 8 (09:09):
I'll tell your father everything he needs to know.
Speaker 7 (09:12):
Go ahead, come on, Kathy.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Why don't we have everything painted black so it won't
show the.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
Now Margaret in the.
Speaker 8 (09:24):
First first place.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Jim Anderson, you've got to realize that we have a
definite obligation to our children.
Speaker 5 (09:30):
I never said that we didn't.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
And when the recognized social leaders of our town show
an interest in our daughter, the very least we can
do is make the best possible impression.
Speaker 9 (09:39):
Well, sure, but for her sake, Margaret, if we've got
to get new furniture and repaint the whole house every
time we want to make a good impression.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
No one said anything about new furniture, you said, and
no one mentioned repainting the whole house.
Speaker 9 (09:55):
And why did you call Worthington. He's the most expensive
decorator in Springfield. He won't look at a job that's
under five hundred dollars.
Speaker 5 (10:02):
Well, you mean we're going to.
Speaker 9 (10:06):
Spend five hundred dollars on the living room.
Speaker 8 (10:11):
It shouldn't be much more than.
Speaker 6 (10:13):
That more.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
On one room.
Speaker 8 (10:17):
Jim, you have no idea how expensive good painters have become.
Speaker 9 (10:21):
Who's he going to hire Michaelangelo?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Of course, if you don't want your daughter to meet
the right sort of people, isn't the point.
Speaker 9 (10:30):
I'm as good a father as anybody in Springfield. But
five hundred dollars but one room?
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Why don't we do it ourselves?
Speaker 8 (10:37):
Jim? That's ridiculous, and you know it.
Speaker 9 (10:39):
Why is it We can get a few cans of
paint and a couple of brushes and have it finished
in no time at all.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
What's ridiculous about that?
Speaker 3 (10:46):
But every time you've offered to paint anything in the past,
this is different.
Speaker 9 (10:50):
We can all pitch in and help. Five hundred dollars.
There isn't that much paint in the whole state.
Speaker 8 (10:56):
Dear.
Speaker 9 (10:57):
Now, I don't know what to do, Honey, Please, is
a favor to me. Let's do it my way? Just
this once.
Speaker 8 (11:02):
You won't get tired right in the middle of a wall.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Of course, not.
Speaker 8 (11:07):
You'll use just the colors I choose.
Speaker 9 (11:10):
I'll paint the room lavender and puce, if that's what
you want.
Speaker 8 (11:14):
I still think we ought to let mister Worthingrogaret.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
Look, I won't even go into the office tomorrow.
Speaker 9 (11:19):
I'll buy the paint and some new brushes, and now
spend the whole day doing just what you want.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
Me to do.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Well, all right, Jim, But remember, if you do one little.
Speaker 9 (11:29):
Mind so help me, when I'm finished, you'll be the
happiest woman in Springfield, I hope.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
So now you'd better tell mister Worthington we've changed our minds.
Speaker 5 (11:38):
We've changed our minds.
Speaker 9 (11:40):
I never wanted them in the first place, Jim, if.
Speaker 8 (11:44):
You're going to be difficult about it.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
Okay, if that's the way you feel.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Mister Worthington says he has to talk to you about colors.
Speaker 8 (11:51):
Your father's going right in, aren't you, dear?
Speaker 9 (11:54):
Yes, into the Valley of Death March the six hundred.
Speaker 8 (11:59):
Who never mind, dear? Your father's being funny again.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
I never saw it to fail.
Speaker 9 (12:08):
Anytime there's an unpleasant job, I have to do it.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
I never wanted the guy in the very mother.
Speaker 7 (12:12):
Did it work?
Speaker 8 (12:13):
Did he say what your father starts painting in the morning?
Speaker 7 (12:18):
Oh, mother, you're a genius.
Speaker 8 (12:21):
Wasn't anything, really?
Speaker 7 (12:22):
But how did you do it? Last time? He swore
he'd never paint another thing as long as he lived.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Where It's very simple, dear, You just use the same
thing that wives have been using on husbands for thousands
and thousands.
Speaker 8 (12:34):
Of years, child psychology.
Speaker 10 (12:52):
When it comes to psychology, mother may well be the
family genius. But there are times when the man of
the house is well worth listening.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Yes, and when he says.
Speaker 10 (13:02):
Best coffee I ever tasted, why those words should warm
your heart, Because when it comes to coffee, that husband
of yours has a mighty important title. Yes, ma'am, he's
the world's greatest coffee expert.
Speaker 5 (13:17):
Of course, you might call us experts too.
Speaker 10 (13:18):
More families do enjoy our Maxwell House than any other brand.
But when you pour the coffee, the expert with the
final word he's your husband. And tomorrow, if you'll serve
him Maxwell House, we're sure he'll.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
Beam and say best coffee I ever taste it. In fact,
if he doesn't, we'll give you your money back.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
We're that sure.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
You see, no other coffee has that wonderful, good to
the last drop flavor, because no other coffee has our
famous Maxwell House recipe, a recipe demanding certain special coffees
blended just so that's right.
Speaker 5 (13:54):
No coffee tastes like.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Maxwell House because no coffee's made like Maxwell House.
Speaker 10 (14:00):
So tomorrow, get a pound of our coffee. Fill your
husband's cup with Maxwell House.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
If he doesn't say best coffee ever, why just send
us the can an unused portion, and we'll gladly refund
every penny you paid. Our address is right on every
familiar blue tin. That's our story.
Speaker 10 (14:19):
Tomorrow, then, won't you serve your expert coffee with the
world's most famous flavor. Serve your husband Maxwell House coffee,
always good to the last drop. There's an old Dutch
(14:40):
proverb that says paint costs nothing, such are its preserving qualities.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
Well, that's a fine slogan.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
For the people who sell the stuff, but they'd better
not mention it to Jim Anders. It's Sunday in Springfield
and paint is a pretty sore subject in the white
frame house on Maple Street. At any rate, it's going
to be very shortly like this all right, Bud, shove
the couch a little toward me.
Speaker 9 (15:05):
Okay, then does that cover it, Kathy?
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yes, Daddy.
Speaker 6 (15:10):
How about the spot near the fireplace.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
We'll hang a picture over it.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
We used up all the pictures for the other spots.
Speaker 5 (15:21):
Well, we'll get another picture. Are there any left in
your room? Bud?
Speaker 6 (15:24):
No pin in yours either.
Speaker 9 (15:26):
I don't know how could one small child make such
a large mess in such a short time.
Speaker 6 (15:33):
I don't think it looks bad. I kind of like it.
Speaker 5 (15:36):
When your mother gets back. Oh, I hate to think
of it.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
I didn't know it wasn't the same color paint. It's
set green.
Speaker 9 (15:45):
Why didn't you just leave it the way it was?
Speaker 6 (15:49):
I don't know.
Speaker 9 (15:50):
I'll bet we've got more pictures in our living room
than anybody in Springfield. When the Van Norton's get here,
they won't know if this is the Anderson the American
Museum of Art.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Maybe Mommy won't notice it.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Now, there's a brilliant thought.
Speaker 9 (16:09):
Maybe if we stand in the middle of the room
and put lampshades over our heads, she won't notice us.
Speaker 5 (16:14):
Where You're going to come back here and keep your
hands off the wall?
Speaker 4 (16:20):
Yes, Daddy, you know, Dad I still think it doesn't
look too bad.
Speaker 6 (16:24):
If you like pictures.
Speaker 9 (16:26):
I like pictures as well as anybody, but I still
think we ought to be able to see the wall.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
Jaddy, it's all.
Speaker 9 (16:32):
Right, kid, and I'll explain the whole thing to your mother.
Speaker 6 (16:35):
I better get out of here.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
You stay right where you are.
Speaker 6 (16:38):
But I just remember the date I forgot.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
We'll forget. You remembered it, Jim. We got the loveliest flow.
Oh that's fine.
Speaker 9 (16:45):
Eh, We're in this together, and we'll stay in it together. Yes,
practically everything's in the living room.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I stand in back of you, Daddy.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Please, no one's going to hurt you, Kathy, Jim, you
have never seen such beautiful flowers in your gym.
Speaker 5 (17:07):
Just take it easy, honey, I'll explain the whole thing.
You see.
Speaker 7 (17:11):
You better some of these before they sit.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
Down, Betty, while I tell you what happened.
Speaker 8 (17:16):
You see my living room? What have you done to
my living room?
Speaker 9 (17:21):
Well, why don't we think of it as our living room?
Speaker 8 (17:28):
Tommy's gonna spank me a half hour.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
I haven't been gone more than a half hour, and
look what you've done to this room.
Speaker 7 (17:39):
Oh, but how could you me just because you don't
like Roger van Norton.
Speaker 5 (17:46):
Stop it.
Speaker 9 (17:47):
All I did was carry pictures and move furniture by Blame.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
It on me, Kathy, Please, now, will someone please tell
me the meaning of this art gallery?
Speaker 7 (18:02):
I was just trying to fix it, Mommy.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
She made a little smudge, Margaret, that's all.
Speaker 9 (18:07):
She did, a smudge with her basketball. So she got
a can of paint to touch it up, and that
made another smudge.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
You mean in back of each of those pictures is
a smudge?
Speaker 5 (18:22):
Well, not exactly. Some of them are drips.
Speaker 8 (18:31):
Well you know what it means. We'd have to do
the entire wall over.
Speaker 9 (18:35):
I know, honey, but we can't do it today. And
I thought, while the Van Norton's were here, you can't.
Speaker 8 (18:39):
Let them see this. Why do you think we were
out of our minds.
Speaker 5 (18:43):
I've got news for you. They'd be right.
Speaker 6 (18:46):
I don't think it looks so bad. It's kind of cheerful.
Speaker 7 (18:49):
The only boy in the whole school with a convertible.
Speaker 8 (18:52):
And you have to do this, Bud, push the couch
back where it belongs.
Speaker 6 (18:57):
You won't like it, mom.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
Why don't we just leave everything the way it is.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
And then tomorrow there can't be as mudge that big No.
Speaker 9 (19:06):
But you see, I didn't know Kathy had the paint
can on the chair.
Speaker 8 (19:12):
Jim.
Speaker 6 (19:12):
You didn't, of course not.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
I stepped in. It's see when it tipped over.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
I mean it's all over the floor, just under the couch, honey.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
But we can take care about it.
Speaker 8 (19:24):
Why didn't you hang some pictures on the ceiling.
Speaker 9 (19:26):
Because the paint didn't splash that high. Look, it's only
on this one wall, Margaret.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
And if you'll just listen to reasons, I've listened all
I intend to listen.
Speaker 8 (19:36):
Kathy, take these flowers into the kitchen. Yes, mommy, I
just wanted to help Bud go up to the attic
and get some more pictures.
Speaker 6 (19:48):
More.
Speaker 8 (19:49):
You'll find them in the box marked blankets.
Speaker 6 (19:51):
Good mom.
Speaker 8 (19:52):
If we can stop arguing.
Speaker 6 (19:54):
I wasn't arguing.
Speaker 9 (19:55):
But if you put any more pictures only cow, Honey,
don't you think we've got enough pictures?
Speaker 6 (20:02):
Now?
Speaker 8 (20:03):
If we put up any we've got to balance the
ones you put up.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
As long as you've got them clear to the floor,
we'll have to put them clear to the ceiling.
Speaker 5 (20:11):
But who looks at pictures up there?
Speaker 7 (20:14):
The same people who crawl on the floor to look at.
Speaker 8 (20:16):
Them down there.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
Well, all right, honey, if that's the.
Speaker 8 (20:23):
Way you want it, Mother, they're here, Oh no, they
can't be.
Speaker 9 (20:29):
Let's all hide in the cellar and maybe they'll go away.
Speaker 8 (20:33):
What are we going to do, Jim? You've got to
keep them out of here?
Speaker 5 (20:37):
Okay, where'd you put my shotgun? Jem?
Speaker 8 (20:42):
Will you please let them in?
Speaker 5 (20:44):
You just said to keep them out.
Speaker 8 (20:46):
Out of the living room.
Speaker 9 (20:47):
Oh how do I do that?
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Take them into the den, take them anywhere, but don't
let them in here. Okay, come on, Betty, mother, go ahead, dear,
I'll be in in just a few minutes.
Speaker 7 (20:58):
Father, What if they go right, It's very simple.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
We'll just hit them over the head with a meat Cleaveland.
Speaker 9 (21:05):
Father, All right, Betty, let's smile.
Speaker 7 (21:09):
I wish I were dead. Whoa hello, Hello, Roger, come on.
Speaker 9 (21:17):
In no sense standing out there in the call.
Speaker 5 (21:19):
Well, mister Anderson, we feel this is quite an imposition.
It's no such thing.
Speaker 9 (21:22):
Why we've been looking forward to see you.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
Go on in, Roger.
Speaker 9 (21:26):
No one's gonna bite Jim.
Speaker 6 (21:27):
Hello, mister Anderson.
Speaker 7 (21:29):
Father, this is Roger.
Speaker 5 (21:30):
You know I had a sneaking suspicion that's who it
might be your son, and I'm his old man. I
suspected that too.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
Well, now that we know who everybody is, let's go
someplace from sed down.
Speaker 9 (21:43):
I don't let me have your things, and we can
all go into the den and be comfortable.
Speaker 7 (21:46):
Roger, why don't you help mister Anderson like a good boy?
Speaker 8 (21:48):
Mom? I keep forgetting he isn't a good boy anymore.
Speaker 6 (21:53):
He's a young man.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Well, whatever it is, let's go sit down, mister Nelly.
I told you in the very beginning. I didn't want
to wear these shoes. Oh they're friends. They don't mind
if I call you Tilly?
Speaker 5 (22:07):
Do you Jim?
Speaker 4 (22:08):
No, not at all.
Speaker 5 (22:09):
My name's Jake. Jake.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Well, if you want to be technical, it's Westbrook, Sylvester.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
They're not in the third. Horrible thing to hang on
a kid, wasn't it. Everybody just calls me Jake. Okay, Jake.
The den's right in here.
Speaker 7 (22:25):
My mother said she'd only be a moment.
Speaker 6 (22:26):
Oh that's card all right there.
Speaker 5 (22:28):
Oh my feet are killing me. What seems to be
the trouble? These shoes never had him on before? Well,
sit down, take it easy.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Oh that's a little better dead.
Speaker 10 (22:42):
For crying out loud he thinks I'm gonna disgrace him.
Speaker 8 (22:46):
Jake has such a lot of trouble with his feet.
Speaker 5 (22:48):
This is my feet, it's these shoes. Jim, tell me
the truth.
Speaker 9 (22:52):
Would you've noticed if I'd been wearing my ole shoes?
Speaker 5 (22:55):
I don't think so. There is he robbed.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
I could have been comfortable all the time, but no,
I had to wear manoon shoes.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
We had to make a good impression.
Speaker 9 (23:07):
Well, Jacob, if they hurt, why don't you take them off?
Speaker 5 (23:12):
You mean you won't mind? Of course not Jay? Holy cow? Dad?
Holy Cow? Is he a holy coward? Never stops?
Speaker 6 (23:25):
Is yours?
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Chief stable boy? Oh? Brother? Does that feel good?
Speaker 6 (23:32):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (23:33):
Kathy?
Speaker 9 (23:35):
Run upstairs and get my slippers for mister van Norton. Okay,
and put the light on under the coffee.
Speaker 5 (23:43):
Jim, I love you like a brother.
Speaker 6 (23:46):
Dad. Mom says she'll be ready in a couple of minutes.
Speaker 9 (23:48):
Fine, Bud, Oh, I don't think you've met my boy,
mister missus van Norton.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
This is holy Cow Jr.
Speaker 6 (23:55):
All right, I'm pleased to meet you, and this is Roger.
Speaker 8 (23:58):
I know all about Bud.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
You hit three eighty three for Springfield High last year,
didn't you how'd you know that?
Speaker 5 (24:07):
Oh right, just happened to know it.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
He just happens to know everything that has anything to
do with baseball.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
He does.
Speaker 7 (24:13):
Rogers quite a baseball player himself.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
You know he is turning in contact with the Dodgers
last spring.
Speaker 9 (24:19):
He did not the Dodger's dad was just a farm club.
Speaker 6 (24:23):
Holy call.
Speaker 9 (24:25):
You see what I tell you, Jim, We are to
farmer club, the fathers who suffered from Holy Cow's Incorporated.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Holy Cow.
Speaker 6 (24:37):
She was. Why didn't you tell me, Betty?
Speaker 5 (24:40):
I didn't know, Betty?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
While Amanda talking, Why don't we go inside and see
if you can do anything for your mother?
Speaker 7 (24:46):
Oh no, I mean mother doesn't want us to. She
doesn't want us to, really, she doesn't.
Speaker 8 (24:53):
It's quite all right, Benny.
Speaker 5 (24:54):
Oh we all said, honey.
Speaker 8 (24:56):
Yes, dear, everything's already. How do you do, missus van Norton?
Speaker 7 (24:59):
How do you do?
Speaker 5 (25:00):
Mister van Norton?
Speaker 8 (25:01):
And of course this is Roger hello, missus Anderson that
he's told us all about you. She has.
Speaker 7 (25:06):
Well, it's awfully crowded in here, isn't it.
Speaker 8 (25:09):
Why don't we go into the living room?
Speaker 7 (25:11):
The living room?
Speaker 3 (25:12):
But you said it's all right, Jim and I'm sure
we'll all be more comfortable.
Speaker 7 (25:17):
Well, it's all right with me, but we've seen of it.
Speaker 8 (25:21):
We thank you, Missus van Norton. There's nothing pretentious, of course.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
But I like anything as long as I don't have
to put those shoes back on.
Speaker 9 (25:29):
I hope you don't mind the smell of fresh paint,
Missus van Norton.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
You see, we've been doing a little redecorating.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
The living room isn't quite finished, but I'm sure you'll understand.
Speaker 5 (25:38):
Of course, we've just been going through the same thing are.
Speaker 6 (25:42):
Selves.
Speaker 10 (25:44):
Uh, nice looking room, isn't it, Delly gosh?
Speaker 5 (25:49):
Oh mother, Look Jake. As long as we're going to
be friends, I might as well.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
Miss Anderson, I'm going to ask you a very personal question,
and I hope you won't be offended.
Speaker 8 (26:01):
Why not at all? Have you ever heard of.
Speaker 6 (26:03):
A decorator named Worthington?
Speaker 9 (26:05):
Well, yes, matter of fact, he was here just a
few nights ago.
Speaker 6 (26:09):
That's what I thought.
Speaker 8 (26:10):
But we felt that, miss and it most certainly is.
Speaker 4 (26:13):
I paid mister Worthington one thousand dollars to decorate my
living room.
Speaker 8 (26:17):
Well that's very nice, and he.
Speaker 6 (26:18):
Did mine exactly like he did yours.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
Oh no, This weekend, chances are you'll buy coffee for
(26:48):
your family and you'll look for one thing flavor, the
most in flavor.
Speaker 5 (26:53):
For your money.
Speaker 10 (26:54):
So take home the one coffee famous for flavor above
all others. Take home a pound of Maxwell House coffee.
Then put it up to the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, poor,
a cup of Maxwell House for your husband. He's the
number one expert on coffee. When he smiles and says
best coffee ever, you'll know Maxwell House has the flavor.
(27:17):
And you can count for yourself all the truly good
cups of coffee you get from every pound at your grocer's.
Look for coffee that gives you your money's worth and more.
Look for the friendly blue tin with a big white
cup and drop. That's your sign of good coffee. Maxwell
House coffee always good to the last drop.
Speaker 9 (27:44):
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Robert Young Tonight. I've been
asked to tell you something about the American economic system.
That's rather difficult, because what can I tell you about
a subject like that.
Speaker 5 (27:55):
You are the.
Speaker 9 (27:56):
American economic system. You're the flesh and blood and bone
a country that works better, plays better, and lives better
than any other country in the world. Today, Farmer, Merchant,
Butcher Baker, we ask only that you appreciate your magnificent
past and recognize the infinite possibilities of your future. Write
to box ten times Square Station, New York City for
(28:17):
the free booklet The Miracle of America. Learn how a
great country can be made even greater by your cooperation.
Speaker 5 (28:26):
Thank you, and good night. At breakfast time, you don't
have to.
Speaker 7 (28:41):
Say you children eat your cereal right this instant.
Speaker 8 (28:44):
Just say hop Along Cassidy is crazy about hot wheatmeal.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
Just a little psychology.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
Yes, to get your children to eat a hot cereal,
just tell them post wheatmeal is hop Alon Cassidy's favorite
hot cereal and they eat it too. Post wheatmeal is
chuck full of solid whole wheat nourishment, has a wonderful
nut like flavor, and at cooks in just three and
a half minutes. You'll see you'll all agree it's the
best hot.
Speaker 5 (29:08):
Cereal you ever ate.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
Join us again next week when we'll be back with
Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, McRoy
Bargee and the Maxwell House Orchestra and Yours truly, Bill forman,
so until next Thursday. Good night and good luck from
the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee.
Always good till the last drop, Father knows Best was
(29:37):
transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now stay
tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of
these stations. Yes, exciting and authentic drag Net is next
(29:58):
on NBC.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Please send your questions and comments to host at classiccomedyotr
dot com until next time. In the words of Carlos Costeneda,
we either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong.
The amount of work is the same.
Welcome to classic comedy of old time radio. I'm your
host Ron Ecklebarger. When Betty invites her well to do
boyfriend and his parents for dinner, it sets off a
redecorating spree that leaves everyone frazzled. This is episode number
sixty five of Father Knows Best, and it is entitled
(00:37):
Redecoration Woes. It originally aired on January eighteenth, nineteen fifty one.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Mother, is Naxwell House really the only coffee in the.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
World where your father says so and your father knows best?
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Yes, it's Father Knows Best, Transcribed in Hollywood starring Robert
Young as Father.
Speaker 5 (01:09):
A half hour visit with your neighbors.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
The Andersons, brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House,
the coffee that's always good.
Speaker 6 (01:18):
To the last dropt.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
In the third act of Romeo and Juliet, the fair
Miscapula comes up with a dylly was ever book containing
such vile matter so fairly bound? She asks, do you
know what she meant? Don't judge a book by its cover.
That's all well in Springfield, in the white frame house
on Maple Street, the Andersons aren't quite as flowery as
(01:53):
Julia but they're going to be given a treat just
the same in the fine art of judging books and
other things like this, Margaret, I'm home, my Margaret.
Speaker 7 (02:09):
M but I had to mother. There wasn't anything else
I could do.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
It was going on in here, didn't you hear me call?
Speaker 8 (02:15):
I'm sorry, dear. We didn't know you'd come in.
Speaker 9 (02:18):
Oh, I've been standing in the hall for ten minutes
screaming my head off.
Speaker 8 (02:22):
Where we seem to have a little problem.
Speaker 7 (02:24):
Father.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I couldn't help it, really, I couldn't.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
What did you do now?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
She's in love, Kathy?
Speaker 6 (02:31):
Mush, that's all it is, just plain mush.
Speaker 9 (02:34):
Never mind, Bud, Margaret, I uh, may be a little dense,
but since when does Betty falling in love.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
Constitute a problem?
Speaker 7 (02:41):
Father?
Speaker 5 (02:42):
She changes boyfriends like I changed.
Speaker 8 (02:44):
My socks, Jim. The problem is not Betty's new boyfriend.
Speaker 5 (02:49):
Well, Kathy just said I.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Said she was in love, and she is.
Speaker 7 (02:53):
Why don't you mind your own business? I do.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I mind everybody's business.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
That's all it is, Mush.
Speaker 9 (03:04):
But if that's the most you can add to the
general conversation.
Speaker 6 (03:07):
Oh, holy cow, Dad, I'm hungry.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
We'll have dinner A very few minutes, but not until
your father knows what Betty has done done.
Speaker 7 (03:15):
You make it sound like I've robbed the bank, has she? Father?
Speaker 5 (03:20):
And stop saying.
Speaker 8 (03:21):
Father jumping creepers.
Speaker 9 (03:25):
That's better, Jim, Honey, give me the horrible details of
Betty's latest crime, and let's eat.
Speaker 8 (03:34):
She invited the Van Nortons to Sunday dinner.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
Fine.
Speaker 9 (03:37):
Now, if it's who the Van Norton's, the Van Norton's,
the Van Norton's.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
What did she do that for?
Speaker 7 (03:47):
I told you, father, I couldn't help it.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
She thinks he's gorgeous.
Speaker 8 (03:53):
I do not.
Speaker 7 (03:54):
Oh you told Jay leg anywre I never did.
Speaker 6 (03:57):
Kathy, Oh you did too.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
You took the.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Phone into the hall closet and you thought I couldn't hear,
And you told Jane mother.
Speaker 5 (04:06):
All right girl, good father. I said that'll be enough.
Speaker 8 (04:11):
Daddy.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yes, she said he was gorgeous.
Speaker 6 (04:17):
Mush, that's all it is.
Speaker 9 (04:19):
Mush. Look, as long as we're getting into this thing,
let's start from the beginning.
Speaker 5 (04:29):
Who is gorgeous Roger van Norton?
Speaker 7 (04:32):
Only I never said he was.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
She did too, Kathy.
Speaker 9 (04:36):
You stay out of this, yes, Daddy, And I want
you to tell me something, I'll.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Ask you, Yes, Daddy, all right, but she did, Margaret.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
There's nothing very complicated about it, Jim, Roger Van Norton
and Betty have been seeing quite a bit of one
another at school.
Speaker 8 (04:53):
He has a convertible.
Speaker 5 (04:55):
Well, if it isn't complicated, what's the problem.
Speaker 6 (04:57):
It gets complicated later.
Speaker 5 (05:00):
Thank you very much, you're welcome.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Betty invited Roger to dinner, well, only because he said
he thought it'd be nice.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
I see, he's the subtle kind. He's a drip.
Speaker 7 (05:13):
Mother, If you don't make them start.
Speaker 9 (05:15):
When you have as much money as the Van Norton's,
you can't be a drip.
Speaker 6 (05:19):
He's a rich drip.
Speaker 7 (05:23):
He is one of the nicest boys in the whole school.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
And he's coming to dinner with his family and his convertible.
Speaker 5 (05:33):
That's the part.
Speaker 9 (05:34):
I don't understand, the convertible, the family.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
I don't understand any of it.
Speaker 7 (05:41):
It wasn't my idea, father, about the family. He said
he thought it'd be nice.
Speaker 8 (05:46):
What would if we met?
Speaker 5 (05:49):
I thought you knew him.
Speaker 8 (05:51):
She means the family's dear, Oh.
Speaker 9 (05:55):
Not the convertibles.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
We don't have a convertible.
Speaker 6 (06:03):
That was a joke. Dopey. What was what Dad said?
It was kind of a joke.
Speaker 9 (06:15):
Oh well, now that that's all straightened perfectly, I asked
just one more question.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
What's the problem?
Speaker 6 (06:23):
Father?
Speaker 5 (06:24):
We just told you.
Speaker 9 (06:27):
Look, let's make believe I just got back from a
long trip into the heart of the African jungle. We
haven't seen one another in almost eight years, and I say,
what's the problem?
Speaker 5 (06:38):
Now? What do you say?
Speaker 9 (06:41):
Who?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Daddy? Well, he said, we hadn't seen him in eight years.
Speaker 8 (06:50):
Jim, It's really very simple.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
The whole problem is the rose chair in the living room.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
I think I'll go back to the jungle.
Speaker 7 (07:02):
Father, You've never seen the Van Norton's house. It has
a swimming pool and a tennis court.
Speaker 9 (07:07):
I still don't be what's that got to do with
the rose chair in.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
The living room being repaired, isn't it.
Speaker 8 (07:14):
They brought it back today?
Speaker 10 (07:16):
All right.
Speaker 9 (07:16):
If they didn't do a good job, make them do
it over.
Speaker 8 (07:18):
They did a wonderful job, dear. It looks just like new, and.
Speaker 7 (07:22):
It makes everything else look awful.
Speaker 9 (07:26):
Wait a minute, you mean because we have one chair recovered,
we've got to have the whole house done over.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Oh no, dear, Well, just the living room.
Speaker 9 (07:40):
If Betty wants to invite the van Norton's over for dinner,
that's all right. I'm as broad minded as anybody. Just
because the Van Norton's are the richest people in Springfield,
that doesn't mean they aren't as good as anyone else.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
They might very easily be.
Speaker 7 (07:53):
The doorbell rang.
Speaker 9 (07:54):
When you tell me I've got to have the whole
living room done over, well, that's carrying things a little too.
Speaker 8 (08:00):
Far, Jim.
Speaker 7 (08:01):
The doorbell rang.
Speaker 9 (08:02):
As far as I'm concerned, the living room looks fine.
And if anybody thinks I'm going to change it, they've
got another thing coming.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
The doorbell rang, but it just needs a little paint.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
But didn't you hear the doorbell?
Speaker 6 (08:16):
Sure?
Speaker 5 (08:17):
Well, what are you waiting for?
Speaker 6 (08:18):
Betty shook her head.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
Margaret.
Speaker 9 (08:21):
I don't know what's gotten into these children, I swear
I don't.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
They don't even make sense.
Speaker 7 (08:26):
I didn't do anything.
Speaker 9 (08:28):
Bud, See who's at the door.
Speaker 6 (08:30):
Why blame it on me?
Speaker 9 (08:31):
I didn't shake my head.
Speaker 8 (08:33):
It be Jim. I think there's something you ought to know.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
I think there are a lot of things I ought
to know.
Speaker 7 (08:41):
Father, Promise you won't make a scene about what the decorator.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
What decorator?
Speaker 8 (08:48):
The one who rang the bell.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
You sent for a decorator.
Speaker 6 (08:55):
It's mister worthing Ken.
Speaker 8 (08:56):
Oh, dear, tell him, we'll be right in.
Speaker 5 (08:59):
Tell him to go away.
Speaker 9 (09:00):
Jim, Please, honey, I told.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
You in the very Denny, why don't you and Kathy
go into the living room and entertain mister Worthington.
Speaker 7 (09:08):
But I want to tell father.
Speaker 8 (09:09):
I'll tell your father everything he needs to know.
Speaker 7 (09:12):
Go ahead, come on, Kathy.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Why don't we have everything painted black so it won't
show the.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
Now Margaret in the.
Speaker 8 (09:24):
First first place.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Jim Anderson, you've got to realize that we have a
definite obligation to our children.
Speaker 5 (09:30):
I never said that we didn't.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
And when the recognized social leaders of our town show
an interest in our daughter, the very least we can
do is make the best possible impression.
Speaker 9 (09:39):
Well, sure, but for her sake, Margaret, if we've got
to get new furniture and repaint the whole house every
time we want to make a good impression.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
No one said anything about new furniture, you said, and
no one mentioned repainting the whole house.
Speaker 9 (09:55):
And why did you call Worthington. He's the most expensive
decorator in Springfield. He won't look at a job that's
under five hundred dollars.
Speaker 5 (10:02):
Well, you mean we're going to.
Speaker 9 (10:06):
Spend five hundred dollars on the living room.
Speaker 8 (10:11):
It shouldn't be much more than.
Speaker 6 (10:13):
That more.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
On one room.
Speaker 8 (10:17):
Jim, you have no idea how expensive good painters have become.
Speaker 9 (10:21):
Who's he going to hire Michaelangelo?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Of course, if you don't want your daughter to meet
the right sort of people, isn't the point.
Speaker 9 (10:30):
I'm as good a father as anybody in Springfield. But
five hundred dollars but one room?
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Why don't we do it ourselves?
Speaker 8 (10:37):
Jim? That's ridiculous, and you know it.
Speaker 9 (10:39):
Why is it We can get a few cans of
paint and a couple of brushes and have it finished
in no time at all.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
What's ridiculous about that?
Speaker 3 (10:46):
But every time you've offered to paint anything in the past,
this is different.
Speaker 9 (10:50):
We can all pitch in and help. Five hundred dollars.
There isn't that much paint in the whole state.
Speaker 8 (10:56):
Dear.
Speaker 9 (10:57):
Now, I don't know what to do, Honey, Please, is
a favor to me. Let's do it my way? Just
this once.
Speaker 8 (11:02):
You won't get tired right in the middle of a wall.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Of course, not.
Speaker 8 (11:07):
You'll use just the colors I choose.
Speaker 9 (11:10):
I'll paint the room lavender and puce, if that's what
you want.
Speaker 8 (11:14):
I still think we ought to let mister Worthingrogaret.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
Look, I won't even go into the office tomorrow.
Speaker 9 (11:19):
I'll buy the paint and some new brushes, and now
spend the whole day doing just what you want.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
Me to do.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Well, all right, Jim, But remember, if you do one little.
Speaker 9 (11:29):
Mind so help me, when I'm finished, you'll be the
happiest woman in Springfield, I hope.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
So now you'd better tell mister Worthington we've changed our minds.
Speaker 5 (11:38):
We've changed our minds.
Speaker 9 (11:40):
I never wanted them in the first place, Jim, if.
Speaker 8 (11:44):
You're going to be difficult about it.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
Okay, if that's the way you feel.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Mister Worthington says he has to talk to you about colors.
Speaker 8 (11:51):
Your father's going right in, aren't you, dear?
Speaker 9 (11:54):
Yes, into the Valley of Death March the six hundred.
Speaker 8 (11:59):
Who never mind, dear? Your father's being funny again.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
I never saw it to fail.
Speaker 9 (12:08):
Anytime there's an unpleasant job, I have to do it.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
I never wanted the guy in the very mother.
Speaker 7 (12:12):
Did it work?
Speaker 8 (12:13):
Did he say what your father starts painting in the morning?
Speaker 7 (12:18):
Oh, mother, you're a genius.
Speaker 8 (12:21):
Wasn't anything, really?
Speaker 7 (12:22):
But how did you do it? Last time? He swore
he'd never paint another thing as long as he lived.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
Where It's very simple, dear, You just use the same
thing that wives have been using on husbands for thousands
and thousands.
Speaker 8 (12:34):
Of years, child psychology.
Speaker 10 (12:52):
When it comes to psychology, mother may well be the
family genius. But there are times when the man of
the house is well worth listening.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Yes, and when he says.
Speaker 10 (13:02):
Best coffee I ever tasted, why those words should warm
your heart, Because when it comes to coffee, that husband
of yours has a mighty important title. Yes, ma'am, he's
the world's greatest coffee expert.
Speaker 5 (13:17):
Of course, you might call us experts too.
Speaker 10 (13:18):
More families do enjoy our Maxwell House than any other brand.
But when you pour the coffee, the expert with the
final word he's your husband. And tomorrow, if you'll serve
him Maxwell House, we're sure he'll.
Speaker 4 (13:32):
Beam and say best coffee I ever taste it. In fact,
if he doesn't, we'll give you your money back.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
We're that sure.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
You see, no other coffee has that wonderful, good to
the last drop flavor, because no other coffee has our
famous Maxwell House recipe, a recipe demanding certain special coffees
blended just so that's right.
Speaker 5 (13:54):
No coffee tastes like.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Maxwell House because no coffee's made like Maxwell House.
Speaker 10 (14:00):
So tomorrow, get a pound of our coffee. Fill your
husband's cup with Maxwell House.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
If he doesn't say best coffee ever, why just send
us the can an unused portion, and we'll gladly refund
every penny you paid. Our address is right on every
familiar blue tin. That's our story.
Speaker 10 (14:19):
Tomorrow, then, won't you serve your expert coffee with the
world's most famous flavor. Serve your husband Maxwell House coffee,
always good to the last drop. There's an old Dutch
(14:40):
proverb that says paint costs nothing, such are its preserving qualities.
Speaker 5 (14:45):
Well, that's a fine slogan.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
For the people who sell the stuff, but they'd better
not mention it to Jim Anders. It's Sunday in Springfield
and paint is a pretty sore subject in the white
frame house on Maple Street. At any rate, it's going
to be very shortly like this all right, Bud, shove
the couch a little toward me.
Speaker 9 (15:05):
Okay, then does that cover it, Kathy?
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yes, Daddy.
Speaker 6 (15:10):
How about the spot near the fireplace.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
We'll hang a picture over it.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
We used up all the pictures for the other spots.
Speaker 5 (15:21):
Well, we'll get another picture. Are there any left in
your room? Bud?
Speaker 6 (15:24):
No pin in yours either.
Speaker 9 (15:26):
I don't know how could one small child make such
a large mess in such a short time.
Speaker 6 (15:33):
I don't think it looks bad. I kind of like it.
Speaker 5 (15:36):
When your mother gets back. Oh, I hate to think
of it.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
I didn't know it wasn't the same color paint. It's
set green.
Speaker 9 (15:45):
Why didn't you just leave it the way it was?
Speaker 6 (15:49):
I don't know.
Speaker 9 (15:50):
I'll bet we've got more pictures in our living room
than anybody in Springfield. When the Van Norton's get here,
they won't know if this is the Anderson the American
Museum of Art.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Maybe Mommy won't notice it.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Now, there's a brilliant thought.
Speaker 9 (16:09):
Maybe if we stand in the middle of the room
and put lampshades over our heads, she won't notice us.
Speaker 5 (16:14):
Where You're going to come back here and keep your
hands off the wall?
Speaker 4 (16:20):
Yes, Daddy, you know, Dad I still think it doesn't
look too bad.
Speaker 6 (16:24):
If you like pictures.
Speaker 9 (16:26):
I like pictures as well as anybody, but I still
think we ought to be able to see the wall.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
Jaddy, it's all.
Speaker 9 (16:32):
Right, kid, and I'll explain the whole thing to your mother.
Speaker 6 (16:35):
I better get out of here.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
You stay right where you are.
Speaker 6 (16:38):
But I just remember the date I forgot.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
We'll forget. You remembered it, Jim. We got the loveliest flow.
Oh that's fine.
Speaker 9 (16:45):
Eh, We're in this together, and we'll stay in it together. Yes,
practically everything's in the living room.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I stand in back of you, Daddy.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Please, no one's going to hurt you, Kathy, Jim, you
have never seen such beautiful flowers in your gym.
Speaker 5 (17:07):
Just take it easy, honey, I'll explain the whole thing.
You see.
Speaker 7 (17:11):
You better some of these before they sit.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
Down, Betty, while I tell you what happened.
Speaker 8 (17:16):
You see my living room? What have you done to
my living room?
Speaker 9 (17:21):
Well, why don't we think of it as our living room?
Speaker 8 (17:28):
Tommy's gonna spank me a half hour.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
I haven't been gone more than a half hour, and
look what you've done to this room.
Speaker 7 (17:39):
Oh, but how could you me just because you don't
like Roger van Norton.
Speaker 5 (17:46):
Stop it.
Speaker 9 (17:47):
All I did was carry pictures and move furniture by Blame.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
It on me, Kathy, Please, now, will someone please tell
me the meaning of this art gallery?
Speaker 7 (18:02):
I was just trying to fix it, Mommy.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
She made a little smudge, Margaret, that's all.
Speaker 9 (18:07):
She did, a smudge with her basketball. So she got
a can of paint to touch it up, and that
made another smudge.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
You mean in back of each of those pictures is
a smudge?
Speaker 5 (18:22):
Well, not exactly. Some of them are drips.
Speaker 8 (18:31):
Well you know what it means. We'd have to do
the entire wall over.
Speaker 9 (18:35):
I know, honey, but we can't do it today. And
I thought, while the Van Norton's were here, you can't.
Speaker 8 (18:39):
Let them see this. Why do you think we were
out of our minds.
Speaker 5 (18:43):
I've got news for you. They'd be right.
Speaker 6 (18:46):
I don't think it looks so bad. It's kind of cheerful.
Speaker 7 (18:49):
The only boy in the whole school with a convertible.
Speaker 8 (18:52):
And you have to do this, Bud, push the couch
back where it belongs.
Speaker 6 (18:57):
You won't like it, mom.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
Why don't we just leave everything the way it is.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
And then tomorrow there can't be as mudge that big No.
Speaker 9 (19:06):
But you see, I didn't know Kathy had the paint
can on the chair.
Speaker 8 (19:12):
Jim.
Speaker 6 (19:12):
You didn't, of course not.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
I stepped in. It's see when it tipped over.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
I mean it's all over the floor, just under the couch, honey.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
But we can take care about it.
Speaker 8 (19:24):
Why didn't you hang some pictures on the ceiling.
Speaker 9 (19:26):
Because the paint didn't splash that high. Look, it's only
on this one wall, Margaret.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
And if you'll just listen to reasons, I've listened all
I intend to listen.
Speaker 8 (19:36):
Kathy, take these flowers into the kitchen. Yes, mommy, I
just wanted to help Bud go up to the attic
and get some more pictures.
Speaker 6 (19:48):
More.
Speaker 8 (19:49):
You'll find them in the box marked blankets.
Speaker 6 (19:51):
Good mom.
Speaker 8 (19:52):
If we can stop arguing.
Speaker 6 (19:54):
I wasn't arguing.
Speaker 9 (19:55):
But if you put any more pictures only cow, Honey,
don't you think we've got enough pictures?
Speaker 6 (20:02):
Now?
Speaker 8 (20:03):
If we put up any we've got to balance the
ones you put up.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
As long as you've got them clear to the floor,
we'll have to put them clear to the ceiling.
Speaker 5 (20:11):
But who looks at pictures up there?
Speaker 7 (20:14):
The same people who crawl on the floor to look at.
Speaker 8 (20:16):
Them down there.
Speaker 5 (20:22):
Well, all right, honey, if that's the.
Speaker 8 (20:23):
Way you want it, Mother, they're here, Oh no, they
can't be.
Speaker 9 (20:29):
Let's all hide in the cellar and maybe they'll go away.
Speaker 8 (20:33):
What are we going to do, Jim? You've got to
keep them out of here?
Speaker 5 (20:37):
Okay, where'd you put my shotgun? Jem?
Speaker 8 (20:42):
Will you please let them in?
Speaker 5 (20:44):
You just said to keep them out.
Speaker 8 (20:46):
Out of the living room.
Speaker 9 (20:47):
Oh how do I do that?
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Take them into the den, take them anywhere, but don't
let them in here. Okay, come on, Betty, mother, go ahead, dear,
I'll be in in just a few minutes.
Speaker 7 (20:58):
Father, What if they go right, It's very simple.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
We'll just hit them over the head with a meat Cleaveland.
Speaker 9 (21:05):
Father, All right, Betty, let's smile.
Speaker 7 (21:09):
I wish I were dead. Whoa hello, Hello, Roger, come on.
Speaker 9 (21:17):
In no sense standing out there in the call.
Speaker 5 (21:19):
Well, mister Anderson, we feel this is quite an imposition.
It's no such thing.
Speaker 9 (21:22):
Why we've been looking forward to see you.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
Go on in, Roger.
Speaker 9 (21:26):
No one's gonna bite Jim.
Speaker 6 (21:27):
Hello, mister Anderson.
Speaker 7 (21:29):
Father, this is Roger.
Speaker 5 (21:30):
You know I had a sneaking suspicion that's who it
might be your son, and I'm his old man. I
suspected that too.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
Well, now that we know who everybody is, let's go
someplace from sed down.
Speaker 9 (21:43):
I don't let me have your things, and we can
all go into the den and be comfortable.
Speaker 7 (21:46):
Roger, why don't you help mister Anderson like a good boy?
Speaker 8 (21:48):
Mom? I keep forgetting he isn't a good boy anymore.
Speaker 6 (21:53):
He's a young man.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Well, whatever it is, let's go sit down, mister Nelly.
I told you in the very beginning. I didn't want
to wear these shoes. Oh they're friends. They don't mind
if I call you Tilly?
Speaker 5 (22:07):
Do you Jim?
Speaker 4 (22:08):
No, not at all.
Speaker 5 (22:09):
My name's Jake. Jake.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Well, if you want to be technical, it's Westbrook, Sylvester.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
They're not in the third. Horrible thing to hang on
a kid, wasn't it. Everybody just calls me Jake. Okay, Jake.
The den's right in here.
Speaker 7 (22:25):
My mother said she'd only be a moment.
Speaker 6 (22:26):
Oh that's card all right there.
Speaker 5 (22:28):
Oh my feet are killing me. What seems to be
the trouble? These shoes never had him on before? Well,
sit down, take it easy.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Oh that's a little better dead.
Speaker 10 (22:42):
For crying out loud he thinks I'm gonna disgrace him.
Speaker 8 (22:46):
Jake has such a lot of trouble with his feet.
Speaker 5 (22:48):
This is my feet, it's these shoes. Jim, tell me
the truth.
Speaker 9 (22:52):
Would you've noticed if I'd been wearing my ole shoes?
Speaker 5 (22:55):
I don't think so. There is he robbed.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
I could have been comfortable all the time, but no,
I had to wear manoon shoes.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
We had to make a good impression.
Speaker 9 (23:07):
Well, Jacob, if they hurt, why don't you take them off?
Speaker 5 (23:12):
You mean you won't mind? Of course not Jay? Holy cow? Dad?
Holy Cow? Is he a holy coward? Never stops?
Speaker 6 (23:25):
Is yours?
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Chief stable boy? Oh? Brother? Does that feel good?
Speaker 6 (23:32):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (23:33):
Kathy?
Speaker 9 (23:35):
Run upstairs and get my slippers for mister van Norton. Okay,
and put the light on under the coffee.
Speaker 5 (23:43):
Jim, I love you like a brother.
Speaker 6 (23:46):
Dad. Mom says she'll be ready in a couple of minutes.
Speaker 9 (23:48):
Fine, Bud, Oh, I don't think you've met my boy,
mister missus van Norton.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
This is holy Cow Jr.
Speaker 6 (23:55):
All right, I'm pleased to meet you, and this is Roger.
Speaker 8 (23:58):
I know all about Bud.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
You hit three eighty three for Springfield High last year,
didn't you how'd you know that?
Speaker 5 (24:07):
Oh right, just happened to know it.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
He just happens to know everything that has anything to
do with baseball.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
He does.
Speaker 7 (24:13):
Rogers quite a baseball player himself.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
You know he is turning in contact with the Dodgers
last spring.
Speaker 9 (24:19):
He did not the Dodger's dad was just a farm club.
Speaker 6 (24:23):
Holy call.
Speaker 9 (24:25):
You see what I tell you, Jim, We are to
farmer club, the fathers who suffered from Holy Cow's Incorporated.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Holy Cow.
Speaker 6 (24:37):
She was. Why didn't you tell me, Betty?
Speaker 5 (24:40):
I didn't know, Betty?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
While Amanda talking, Why don't we go inside and see
if you can do anything for your mother?
Speaker 7 (24:46):
Oh no, I mean mother doesn't want us to. She
doesn't want us to, really, she doesn't.
Speaker 8 (24:53):
It's quite all right, Benny.
Speaker 5 (24:54):
Oh we all said, honey.
Speaker 8 (24:56):
Yes, dear, everything's already. How do you do, missus van Norton?
Speaker 7 (24:59):
How do you do?
Speaker 5 (25:00):
Mister van Norton?
Speaker 8 (25:01):
And of course this is Roger hello, missus Anderson that
he's told us all about you. She has.
Speaker 7 (25:06):
Well, it's awfully crowded in here, isn't it.
Speaker 8 (25:09):
Why don't we go into the living room?
Speaker 7 (25:11):
The living room?
Speaker 3 (25:12):
But you said it's all right, Jim and I'm sure
we'll all be more comfortable.
Speaker 7 (25:17):
Well, it's all right with me, but we've seen of it.
Speaker 8 (25:21):
We thank you, Missus van Norton. There's nothing pretentious, of course.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
But I like anything as long as I don't have
to put those shoes back on.
Speaker 9 (25:29):
I hope you don't mind the smell of fresh paint,
Missus van Norton.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
You see, we've been doing a little redecorating.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
The living room isn't quite finished, but I'm sure you'll understand.
Speaker 5 (25:38):
Of course, we've just been going through the same thing are.
Speaker 6 (25:42):
Selves.
Speaker 10 (25:44):
Uh, nice looking room, isn't it, Delly gosh?
Speaker 5 (25:49):
Oh mother, Look Jake. As long as we're going to
be friends, I might as well.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
Miss Anderson, I'm going to ask you a very personal question,
and I hope you won't be offended.
Speaker 8 (26:01):
Why not at all? Have you ever heard of.
Speaker 6 (26:03):
A decorator named Worthington?
Speaker 9 (26:05):
Well, yes, matter of fact, he was here just a
few nights ago.
Speaker 6 (26:09):
That's what I thought.
Speaker 8 (26:10):
But we felt that, miss and it most certainly is.
Speaker 4 (26:13):
I paid mister Worthington one thousand dollars to decorate my
living room.
Speaker 8 (26:17):
Well that's very nice, and he.
Speaker 6 (26:18):
Did mine exactly like he did yours.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
Oh no, This weekend, chances are you'll buy coffee for
(26:48):
your family and you'll look for one thing flavor, the
most in flavor.
Speaker 5 (26:53):
For your money.
Speaker 10 (26:54):
So take home the one coffee famous for flavor above
all others. Take home a pound of Maxwell House coffee.
Then put it up to the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, poor,
a cup of Maxwell House for your husband. He's the
number one expert on coffee. When he smiles and says
best coffee ever, you'll know Maxwell House has the flavor.
(27:17):
And you can count for yourself all the truly good
cups of coffee you get from every pound at your grocer's.
Look for coffee that gives you your money's worth and more.
Look for the friendly blue tin with a big white
cup and drop. That's your sign of good coffee. Maxwell
House coffee always good to the last drop.
Speaker 9 (27:44):
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Robert Young Tonight. I've been
asked to tell you something about the American economic system.
That's rather difficult, because what can I tell you about
a subject like that.
Speaker 5 (27:55):
You are the.
Speaker 9 (27:56):
American economic system. You're the flesh and blood and bone
a country that works better, plays better, and lives better
than any other country in the world. Today, Farmer, Merchant,
Butcher Baker, we ask only that you appreciate your magnificent
past and recognize the infinite possibilities of your future. Write
to box ten times Square Station, New York City for
(28:17):
the free booklet The Miracle of America. Learn how a
great country can be made even greater by your cooperation.
Speaker 5 (28:26):
Thank you, and good night. At breakfast time, you don't
have to.
Speaker 7 (28:41):
Say you children eat your cereal right this instant.
Speaker 8 (28:44):
Just say hop Along Cassidy is crazy about hot wheatmeal.
Speaker 5 (28:48):
Just a little psychology.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
Yes, to get your children to eat a hot cereal,
just tell them post wheatmeal is hop Alon Cassidy's favorite
hot cereal and they eat it too. Post wheatmeal is
chuck full of solid whole wheat nourishment, has a wonderful
nut like flavor, and at cooks in just three and
a half minutes. You'll see you'll all agree it's the
best hot.
Speaker 5 (29:08):
Cereal you ever ate.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
Join us again next week when we'll be back with
Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, McRoy
Bargee and the Maxwell House Orchestra and Yours truly, Bill forman,
so until next Thursday. Good night and good luck from
the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee.
Always good till the last drop, Father knows Best was
(29:37):
transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now stay
tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of
these stations. Yes, exciting and authentic drag Net is next
(29:58):
on NBC.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Please send your questions and comments to host at classiccomedyotr
dot com until next time. In the words of Carlos Costeneda,
we either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong.
The amount of work is the same.
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