November 8, 2025 • 31 mins
Jello again. In exchange for a generous reward from Jack Benny, a man returns Jack’s violin and he finally plays “The Bee!”
Episode 247 of The Jack Benny Show. The program originally aired on on February 28, 1937.
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Episode 247 of The Jack Benny Show. The program originally aired on on February 28, 1937.
Please email questions and comments to host@classiccomedyotr.com.
Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/classiccomedyotr. Please share this podcast with your friends and family.
You can also subscribe to our podcast on Spreaker.com, Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Google podcasts.
This show is supported by Spreaker Prime.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome to classic comedy of old time radio. I'm your
host Ron Eckelberger. Jelo again. In exchange for a generous
reward from Jack Benny, a man returns Jack's violin and
he finally plays the by This episode, entitled Jack's Violin
(00:36):
Is Returned, is the two hundred and forty seventh Jack
Benny Show, and it originally aired on February twenty eight,
nineteen thirty seven.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
The Jello Program starring Jack Benny with Phil Harris and
his orchestra, The Orchestralphins a program with j but your swell.
These days, we all like to have lunch or dinner
at a good restaurant once in a while, and in
(01:10):
good restaurants everywhere you'll find that you can enjoy genuine
jello for dessert, just as you do at home. For instance,
we have just had a very complimentary letter from the
nationally famous Child's Restaurants, which we think will arrest you.
It says, quote, you will be pleased to know that
as a result of tests made in the Child's Research laboratory,
(01:32):
Jello was selected for use in all our flavored gelatin desserts.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
We find that jello.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Has a superior flavor, and for this reason it is
the only gelatin dessert served in Child's restaurants. It is
our aim to serve our patrons the highest quality in
every life, and that we feel in gelatin desserts means
genuine jello.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Signed L. G.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Dutton, Vice President, the Child's Company. We're mighty pleased and
proud to.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Receive this letter.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
And remember, whether you want a jello in a restaurant
or from your own grocer, always be sure you get
genuine jello.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
Arrives in New York okay. But the train trip was
terrible as there was nothing but trunks and suitcases in
my car. She must have gotten in the baggage carf
I mistake. New York City is just the same as
when you're reading Jack. Oh, it's a letter from Mary. Gosh,
it seems lonesome tonight without her, doesn't it? Doubt it?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Sure? Does?
Speaker 4 (02:50):
You know? I kind of miss her too. The program
doesn't seem the same without Mary. Not so loud, Phil,
She's probably listening in. There's no use spoiling her.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Why don't you say in her letter?
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Jack, Well, it's a little personal, don you know? She
wouldn't want me to read it. To everybody. Oh, go ahead,
all right, dear Jack Don Phil Kenny and everybody arrived
in New York. Oh I read that him. She says,
I got in Chicago on time and stopped there for
three hours between trains. Believe me, it's no fun standing
(03:22):
between trains. You get cinders all over you. And she
heard he takes things literally, doesn't He enjoyed the ride
to New York. The train had a streamline, and so
did that salesman I met. But don't worry. I can
take care of myself. And anyway, he got off at
Cleveland's good. She's writing form there. When I arrived at
(03:45):
Grand Central station, a great big man rushed up, threw
his arms around me, and kissed me. Was I disappointed
when I found out it was my uncle. I am
stopping at the Hotel Lombardi, which is just fifteen hundred
miles up the street from the Miami Beltmore. I hope
she doesn't try to go in swimming. And Mama, Papa
and brother Hillard came in from Plainfield and we went
(04:07):
to Aunt Rose's new wedding last night. Papa was going
to wear his full dress suit with the tails, but
when he took it out of the closet. He found
that the moths had eaten it into a tuxedo as well.
That's bad. This afternoon, while passing Radio City, I ran
into Fred Allen. He spoke about you and believed me.
(04:31):
That's no way to talk in front of a lady.
I was going to slap his face, but he was
chewing tobacco, so I thought twice. Anyway, He invited me
to lunch, but made me pay my own check. I
couldn't do anything about it, though, as he claimed his
invitation wasn't in writing the same old Allan.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Oh, he's not that.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
He's not a Listen, fellas, have you ever played poker
with Alan? No? If he ever do, watch out. He
plays a very conservative game. Come here a minute. When
he opens the pot, you can throw away four kings. No, kid,
I'm not kidding. Not only that he cheats too. I
(05:17):
remember one time I caught him sending out three white
chips to be dyed.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Oh, Jack, Jack, you're exaggerated now.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Maybe it was only two chips. I don't know. We'll
go ahead, Jack with Mary's letter. Okay, I am writing
this letter in the lobby of the hotel, and the
swellest looking fellow is sitting opposite me. He just smiled,
which explains this block. She's probably kidding that nice man
just smiled again. So will close, wishing good luck to
you and me yours faithfully, Mary. Hey, that was cute,
(05:54):
wasn't it?
Speaker 5 (05:55):
Hell Feller?
Speaker 4 (05:56):
I get it, Hey, Jack, I got a surprise for you.
What is it? Well, I knew Mary wasn't gonna be here,
so I brought my girl Lena to help out with
the program. Well, that's very nice of you, Kenny.
Speaker 6 (06:05):
We need help.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Oh there she is. Hello, Lena, how are you?
Speaker 7 (06:09):
Wouldn't you like to know?
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Isn't she clever? Jack? Yeah? Well, oh that's the only
part of it.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Now here's a joke we made of this will kill you?
Speaker 4 (06:18):
Go ahead, Lena ask him? Is this gonna be funny?
Speaker 8 (06:20):
We think so?
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Go ahead, Lina.
Speaker 7 (06:22):
All right.
Speaker 9 (06:23):
What's the difference between Mary Livingston and the Queen Mary?
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Well, the question is clever? Go ahead, Lena. What is
the difference between Mary Livingston and the Queen Mary?
Speaker 9 (06:32):
Mary Livingston is a girl and the Queen Mary is
a boat?
Speaker 7 (06:41):
What's funny about that?
Speaker 4 (06:44):
She going to get it? Mary?
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Isn't the boat?
Speaker 10 (06:46):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (06:47):
Am? I a cry.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
I must tell her to keep.
Speaker 7 (06:52):
Out a warmer.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Now, Rina, do that laugh like Mary does?
Speaker 3 (06:55):
And Jack, you ask her what she's laughing at?
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Okay, go ahead, Lina, laugh like Mary?
Speaker 10 (07:03):
All right?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Why you laughing at Lena? You wouldn't.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
Ain't your panic?
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Yeah? Panic meaning disaster? Yeah? Thanks Kenny, And now Phil
Harris will play.
Speaker 9 (07:16):
Wait a minute, Jack, we got one more? Oh you're
doing Lina, mister Benny. If I gained fifty pounds.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
What would I be? I don't know what would you be?
Lena Fata?
Speaker 7 (07:27):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (07:30):
If you let a bank Lena Fata? Yeah, just like
your head up, play a villa, Mary, come home. All
is forgiven.
Speaker 11 (08:11):
Myself never sat.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
I was melancholy baby, played by the Arcstrand directed by
Phil Harris, who came back from the Santa Nita race
track yesterday as fast as he could walk. They fail.
Your orchestra sounds a little softer than usual tonight. What happened? Well, Jack?
I bet my trombone player on Sea biscuitting lost. Oh well,
that's too bad. I've gone at every horse. I bet
(09:51):
on losers by a nose. Well, you'll either have to
get hotter tips or longer horse than the.
Speaker 12 (10:00):
I like that.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
Well, they must have lost too out there, I see that,
Say Jack, how did you make out in the handicap?
Not so good, they'll unfortunately the horse ibt on just
got over the flu and was afraid of crowd. Yes,
but you know, Phil, you know I When it comes
to gambling, I'm a pretty good sport and I don't
mind when my horse lags behind. But when he walks
(10:21):
over the rail and takes a bite of my hot dog,
that's going a little too. So you learn your lesson. Eh, Yeah, sir,
the next horse eye bet, I don't have to have
a diesel engine in them.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Hey what are you fellas talking about?
Speaker 13 (10:36):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Nothing much, dohn Is it important?
Speaker 13 (10:38):
No?
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Well, jello is Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
When you are considering attempting dessert to top off your meal,
decide on jello because it has that new, extra rich
fresh fruit flavor and it tastes twice as good as
ever before.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Hooray for rosemar.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
Yes. With the big red letters on the jockey say
what is this a racetrack or a program? Am? Now?
Come in hello, Jickbanni, Yeah, yes, what can I do
for you? Well? Pardoned intraps and Poopsie, But I'm a detective.
A detective A your said it a bloodhounds with a dialect? Well,
(11:18):
what do you want? I'm under the impression that you
lost a vilet? Is this correct? A vile? Yeah? Did
you find it? Did you offer a reward? Yes? Then
I found it and you are well. Well, Hey, fellas,
look my violin? Say it sure is my violin? All right?
They say, you don't, fellas. I knew i'd get it
(11:39):
back tonight, virtue triumph.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
When you're trying to play the bah am.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
I listen, fellow, this is a night of night. Not
only will I redeem myself in the eyes of my listeners,
but I'll make Fred Allen hang his head so low
he'll have to get an extra shoe for his nose,
and there won't be any size to either.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
All his nose. Isn't it that long?
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Jack?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Long enough to reach clear to Hollywood and to my affairs? Listen, Jack,
why didn't you forget it? Be in play something popular? Well?
What song would you like to hear? Penny's from Herring Herring?
That's heaven you're telling me? Tell mister Bennet to put
it blunt how's it by the compensation? Oh, yes, the reward.
(12:23):
Here you are, my good man, a nice new green,
crisp crinkly one dollar bill. Hmmm adjectives he gives me. Oh,
you don't want it there, don't jump at conclusion, Well,
that's all You're going to get a dollar here?
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
I'll put it in my volat. That's a nice wallet.
I thought it was your chest. Well, goodbye, mister. Say
what's your name that I can tell you? Why not?
There's a reward for me too. Oh I'm sorry, well, goodbye, goodbye.
(13:02):
By the cheese left thread, Allen is right. Well, boys,
it cost me a dollar to get my violin back,
but it was worth every penny of us. Okenny, how
about singing your song when I get all set for
my number?
Speaker 8 (13:14):
Okay, Jack, are you really gonna play the bee?
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Am I gonna play the bee? Did Columbus turn back
in the middle of the Atlantic, I don't know. Did
Washington hesitate before crossing the Delaware?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Did Admiral Dewey retreat at Madilla?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Three strikes?
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Come out? And thank Daddy, I gonna play the bee.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
So proper and full line upon this lovely night, were
still here making foolish conversy.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Instead of being bright.
Speaker 5 (14:04):
Let's be ourselves tonight and take a back it of
the situation. Shan is young, and yours of beautiful looking
(14:27):
among the chads, beautifully.
Speaker 7 (14:35):
Open your fae.
Speaker 5 (14:40):
Loss said Lobbryze is saying of it, and you caret
into the swing of it, lady, when we start, when
the lead is kissable.
Speaker 7 (15:03):
And is cool, any dream is for mess.
Speaker 13 (15:09):
About in my heart, horblemon is high.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
Your so glamorous and iffy seem the glamoris lady.
Speaker 10 (15:33):
What can I do?
Speaker 5 (15:38):
One line he's not and mine in.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
Our Pennybaker singing, The night is young and you're so beautiful.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment has arrived, the
moment when I will erase all verbal stains and oral
blemishes from the once illustrious name of Jack Bennett. Of course,
(16:35):
after concluding my selection to be mister Allen, who even
thinks that wrestling is crooked, will no doubt accuse me
of trickery to nip such a possibility in the bud.
I will pass through our studio audience, and you folks
can observe for yourselves that I have only a violin
in one hand and a bowl in the other at
(16:56):
a boy jack quiet, I wouldn't trust you either. I
further wish to state that there is nothing hidden up
my sleeve and no accomplices, either mechanical or human, in
this auditorium. Now for my first trick, I mean solo.
Speaker 10 (17:11):
I come in, Hello buck, Hi Andy, Andy, you got
here just in time.
Speaker 7 (17:24):
Yep.
Speaker 8 (17:24):
And when I heard that you got your fiddle back,
I ran up here as fast as I could. Well,
that was nice of you, say, fuck, I was sure
surprised when I heard Murray went to New York.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
Yeah, she left last week for a short vacation.
Speaker 8 (17:38):
Dog gone it. I'm sorry, I'm mister. I wanted to
kiss her goodbye.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Well, Andy, you can kiss her when she gets back.
Speaker 8 (17:45):
Yes, she'll be rested up then and can take it.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
One thing I like about you, Andy, you don't brag you.
What's that? That's Kenny's girl, Lena. I know you thought
it was the radiator, Lena. You know you know Andy Devine.
Speaker 9 (18:04):
Oh sure, the man that talks like Donald's duck.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Donald's duck. That's pretty good.
Speaker 8 (18:10):
We're doing all right, we're bolting pictures.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Yeah, well, Andy, I'm glad you came up to the
studio tonight. You know you're gonna hear me play the
b and make out a pool out of that town
hall sandman. And you know what the sandman does. Yeah?
Did you hear him last Wednesday when he said a
buzzard brought me instead of a stork.
Speaker 8 (18:28):
A buzzard?
Speaker 7 (18:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (18:30):
Oh dog gun? And I thought he said, blizzard. No,
I gotta get mad.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Why don't I get funny lines like that?
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Why don't I get any lines? Please? Fellows? Well, the
time is growing short. My fingers are just itching to
wander over those violin strings. So let's get going. Andy,
you sit right down in front and enjoy yourself.
Speaker 8 (18:49):
Okay, buck, can I applaud now? In case I fall asleep?
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Now, I'll have to take that chance. Andy, And now,
ladies and gentlemen, before going into my number. It gives
me great pleasure to introduce to you the man who
will share my glory tonight my accompanies, that eminent pianist
rachmaninov T. Smith. Take a bow, missus Smith, thank you,
(19:17):
And my price is still ten dollars. I try to
get him for eight, folks, but he's got me in
his Spine'll hand me that violin, Kenny, are Jack? I'll
even take that line? Okay, what's the matter with you? Phil?
Well I want to be an actor.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Well, you're on the wrong program.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
With my talent. Yes, m well that's pretty good for
an old violin, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
So you're really going to play the B this time?
Speaker 4 (19:48):
John, I can't get out of it. I mean, I'm
rare in the golf. Come on, introduce me and remember
that Jello isn't playing this number?
Speaker 3 (19:54):
And wait like two just pretty good for theirs?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
All right, okay, okay Jack, ladies and gentlemen, mister Jack
Benny will now play Schubert's immortal classic The Bee.
Speaker 6 (20:27):
If you please, Professor, This is.
Speaker 14 (21:25):
Indeed as against the under.
Speaker 10 (22:12):
Great ranks.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
Oh that's all right, fellas, it was nothing, nothing at all.
Well what now, mister Allan? Play Phil? I did.
Speaker 7 (23:27):
Question you're a tough spot?
Speaker 4 (24:29):
Well you were in a tough spot. That was uh
Anamania from swing high swing low, played by Phil Harrison
his arts rand Very good, Phil, very good. Not a
classic perhaps, but quite well done. Say Jan, yes, Kenny,
when are you going to play the B? I just
played it?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Yeah, but you clipped its wings.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
What do you mean? Well, when you came to the
hard part, you switched to plenty of money in you. Well,
there was a detour sign on my music. And further more, Phil,
you've been acting a bit uppity lately. Are you dissatisfied
with your job?
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Here?
Speaker 4 (25:06):
Are you unhappy in knowledge the group? I mean? Are
you seeking greener posture? No? Greener money? Oh well, let
me tell you something, Phil, excuse me me, man, if
there's a phone, keep the argument going, Kenny, Now, listen, Phil,
who do you think I am?
Speaker 13 (25:26):
Not?
Speaker 4 (25:26):
Never mind Kenny, I'll.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Pick up the argument later.
Speaker 4 (25:29):
Never mind. Hello. Hello, oh oh, hello, Mary, how are you? Honey?
It's Mary Fellas you did well. I'm glad you liked it.
I played at the best I could, of course. Right
in the middle of the number, I found out one
of my strings was dental flaws, which is all right.
(25:53):
I just had dinner. Are you having a good time
in New York? Well? I do too, but I don't
see how I get away from here. Well, anyway, Mary,
I have a good time and come back soon. Yeah. Yeah,
everybody sends her love? Yes I will yeah, yeah, goodbye there, goodbye. Hello,
(26:15):
what's that operator? If I'll accept the charges? You know, fellas,
it must be nice in New York right now? Gee,
after talking to Mary, i'd i'd love to go there
for a couple of weeks.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Going on me too, you know.
Speaker 8 (26:29):
Fuck, I've never been to New York.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
We don't cry, Andy, you haven't. No, well, that last
one was a laugh one. Maddy. You you get a
big kick on it. No, really, you would you? You'd
love you know, you can take a subway and see
the whole town. You know. Hey, wait a minute, fellows,
(26:53):
you know I gotta wait a minute. I got an idea. Listen,
get away from the microphone, fellas, I don't want Marry
to hear this.
Speaker 12 (26:59):
You know what I'd like to do.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
Wait a minute, step up, get away from the micros.
I like the surprise Mary. Hop on the train and join.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Her in New York, New York.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
Don step up those microphones.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Okay, Jack, I'll wait a minute.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
Can everybody make the trip? It's okay? How about you, Bell, Well,
I'll have to join you later.
Speaker 8 (27:25):
Can't take my trainer along.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
And they have hotels in New York, two of them.
I wait a minute. Listen when I ringe this right, away.
I'll call up the station now and make our reservation
on don Why I'm ordering the tickets. Who makes a
lot of noise about yellow or anything but naked. Wow,
I don't want Marry to hear it, right right right, Hello, operator, operator,
(27:48):
get me the go ahead, Tom.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
I'm glad to have this opportunity to about Jello, the
fastest selling jelatin dessert on the Marble.
Speaker 4 (27:54):
Take it off. It is first in favor because Jacky.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Hawbury Raspberry cherry.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Why nan, and don't ask for jello by names live
on one of the big red.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Letters on the barn.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
What no, not sick delicious flavors six tickets? No, no, no,
the name is not raspberry, it's jack Berry, I mean
Jack Benny. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Okay, thank you, goodbye,
well fellas, it's all said, old boy, I could just
be the look on Mary's faith will be popping on her.
I can hardy weight. I'm going right home now in pack.
(28:29):
Are you going to take your trunk, Kenny? Normal trunk's
been in New York and I don't bother them. Oh boy,
this imagine that two weeks in New York Broadway Rimes square.
Speaker 8 (28:38):
Hew, I'm the Circle ten.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
Pin Alley forty second three Grant two.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Everybody loves parties, and here's a party dessert that you
can serve every day. It looks mighty festis and it's
no trouble to prepare because it's another delicious dessert that's
made with jello. It's called Strawberry Snow and this is
how you make it. There's all one package of strawberry
jello in one pint of hot water, then chill until
(29:37):
cold and syrupy, and placed in a bowl of ice
or ice water. Add one egg white and whip with
a rotary egg beater until fluffy mold, or pile in.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Sherbet glasses and chill. It's a feast for the eye.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
A treat for the taste, with tempting proof rut flavor
to please everybody. So give every day dinners a party touch.
Have strawberry Snow for dessert.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
One night this week.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Be sure you make it with the real thing, genuine
jello with the extra rich frish root flavor. Look for
the big red letters on the box. They spell Jello.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
This is the last number of the twenty second program
in the new Jello series, and we'll be with you
again next Sunday night at the same time, broadcasting from
New York City. The detective on the program was played
by Pat c Flick, through the courtesy of Warner Brothers.
Say Jack, why can't we leave New York right now? No,
We'll have to wait on Tuesday nights because I'm dropping
in on Ben Burney's program first.
Speaker 8 (30:38):
Why are you still whispering?
Speaker 12 (30:39):
I want to surprise Ben too. Good night, folks, if
you're a.
Speaker 7 (30:55):
Twenty of mine.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
In ears from the Gold Leaders of nineteen thirty seven,
the night is young and Lewis will build a I'm from.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Candiana and I've got my love to keep me WI
on from Irvin Burnins Bar of Bonnie Avenue before gram
of Comya from Hollywood, California.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
Enter the FIDNA.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
There's of the Red Network of the National Broadcasting Company.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Heyfi, Los Angeles.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Please send your questions and comments to host at CLASSICCOMEDYOTR
dot com. Until next time. A saying that is often
attributed to Mark Twain, but is really in the words
of H. Jackson Brown Junior, written in the nineteen ninety
book PS I Love You and credited to his mother,
(31:36):
Sarah Francis Brown, twenty years from now, you will be
more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by
the ones you did do.
Welcome to classic comedy of old time radio. I'm your
host Ron Eckelberger. Jelo again. In exchange for a generous
reward from Jack Benny, a man returns Jack's violin and
he finally plays the by This episode, entitled Jack's Violin
(00:36):
Is Returned, is the two hundred and forty seventh Jack
Benny Show, and it originally aired on February twenty eight,
nineteen thirty seven.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
The Jello Program starring Jack Benny with Phil Harris and
his orchestra, The Orchestralphins a program with j but your swell.
These days, we all like to have lunch or dinner
at a good restaurant once in a while, and in
(01:10):
good restaurants everywhere you'll find that you can enjoy genuine
jello for dessert, just as you do at home. For instance,
we have just had a very complimentary letter from the
nationally famous Child's Restaurants, which we think will arrest you.
It says, quote, you will be pleased to know that
as a result of tests made in the Child's Research laboratory,
(01:32):
Jello was selected for use in all our flavored gelatin desserts.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
We find that jello.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Has a superior flavor, and for this reason it is
the only gelatin dessert served in Child's restaurants. It is
our aim to serve our patrons the highest quality in
every life, and that we feel in gelatin desserts means
genuine jello.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Signed L. G.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Dutton, Vice President, the Child's Company. We're mighty pleased and
proud to.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Receive this letter.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
And remember, whether you want a jello in a restaurant
or from your own grocer, always be sure you get
genuine jello.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
Arrives in New York okay. But the train trip was
terrible as there was nothing but trunks and suitcases in
my car. She must have gotten in the baggage carf
I mistake. New York City is just the same as
when you're reading Jack. Oh, it's a letter from Mary. Gosh,
it seems lonesome tonight without her, doesn't it? Doubt it?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Sure? Does?
Speaker 4 (02:50):
You know? I kind of miss her too. The program
doesn't seem the same without Mary. Not so loud, Phil,
She's probably listening in. There's no use spoiling her.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Why don't you say in her letter?
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Jack, Well, it's a little personal, don you know? She
wouldn't want me to read it. To everybody. Oh, go ahead,
all right, dear Jack Don Phil Kenny and everybody arrived
in New York. Oh I read that him. She says,
I got in Chicago on time and stopped there for
three hours between trains. Believe me, it's no fun standing
(03:22):
between trains. You get cinders all over you. And she
heard he takes things literally, doesn't He enjoyed the ride
to New York. The train had a streamline, and so
did that salesman I met. But don't worry. I can
take care of myself. And anyway, he got off at
Cleveland's good. She's writing form there. When I arrived at
(03:45):
Grand Central station, a great big man rushed up, threw
his arms around me, and kissed me. Was I disappointed
when I found out it was my uncle. I am
stopping at the Hotel Lombardi, which is just fifteen hundred
miles up the street from the Miami Beltmore. I hope
she doesn't try to go in swimming. And Mama, Papa
and brother Hillard came in from Plainfield and we went
(04:07):
to Aunt Rose's new wedding last night. Papa was going
to wear his full dress suit with the tails, but
when he took it out of the closet. He found
that the moths had eaten it into a tuxedo as well.
That's bad. This afternoon, while passing Radio City, I ran
into Fred Allen. He spoke about you and believed me.
(04:31):
That's no way to talk in front of a lady.
I was going to slap his face, but he was
chewing tobacco, so I thought twice. Anyway, He invited me
to lunch, but made me pay my own check. I
couldn't do anything about it, though, as he claimed his
invitation wasn't in writing the same old Allan.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Oh, he's not that.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
He's not a Listen, fellas, have you ever played poker
with Alan? No? If he ever do, watch out. He
plays a very conservative game. Come here a minute. When
he opens the pot, you can throw away four kings. No, kid,
I'm not kidding. Not only that he cheats too. I
(05:17):
remember one time I caught him sending out three white
chips to be dyed.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Oh, Jack, Jack, you're exaggerated now.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Maybe it was only two chips. I don't know. We'll
go ahead, Jack with Mary's letter. Okay, I am writing
this letter in the lobby of the hotel, and the
swellest looking fellow is sitting opposite me. He just smiled,
which explains this block. She's probably kidding that nice man
just smiled again. So will close, wishing good luck to
you and me yours faithfully, Mary. Hey, that was cute,
(05:54):
wasn't it?
Speaker 5 (05:55):
Hell Feller?
Speaker 4 (05:56):
I get it, Hey, Jack, I got a surprise for you.
What is it? Well, I knew Mary wasn't gonna be here,
so I brought my girl Lena to help out with
the program. Well, that's very nice of you, Kenny.
Speaker 6 (06:05):
We need help.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Oh there she is. Hello, Lena, how are you?
Speaker 7 (06:09):
Wouldn't you like to know?
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Isn't she clever? Jack? Yeah? Well, oh that's the only
part of it.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Now here's a joke we made of this will kill you?
Speaker 4 (06:18):
Go ahead, Lena ask him? Is this gonna be funny?
Speaker 8 (06:20):
We think so?
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Go ahead, Lina.
Speaker 7 (06:22):
All right.
Speaker 9 (06:23):
What's the difference between Mary Livingston and the Queen Mary?
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Well, the question is clever? Go ahead, Lena. What is
the difference between Mary Livingston and the Queen Mary?
Speaker 9 (06:32):
Mary Livingston is a girl and the Queen Mary is
a boat?
Speaker 7 (06:41):
What's funny about that?
Speaker 4 (06:44):
She going to get it? Mary?
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Isn't the boat?
Speaker 10 (06:46):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (06:47):
Am? I a cry.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
I must tell her to keep.
Speaker 7 (06:52):
Out a warmer.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Now, Rina, do that laugh like Mary does?
Speaker 3 (06:55):
And Jack, you ask her what she's laughing at?
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Okay, go ahead, Lina, laugh like Mary?
Speaker 10 (07:03):
All right?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Why you laughing at Lena? You wouldn't.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
Ain't your panic?
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Yeah? Panic meaning disaster? Yeah? Thanks Kenny, And now Phil
Harris will play.
Speaker 9 (07:16):
Wait a minute, Jack, we got one more? Oh you're
doing Lina, mister Benny. If I gained fifty pounds.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
What would I be? I don't know what would you be?
Lena Fata?
Speaker 7 (07:27):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (07:30):
If you let a bank Lena Fata? Yeah, just like
your head up, play a villa, Mary, come home. All
is forgiven.
Speaker 11 (08:11):
Myself never sat.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
I was melancholy baby, played by the Arcstrand directed by
Phil Harris, who came back from the Santa Nita race
track yesterday as fast as he could walk. They fail.
Your orchestra sounds a little softer than usual tonight. What happened? Well, Jack?
I bet my trombone player on Sea biscuitting lost. Oh well,
that's too bad. I've gone at every horse. I bet
(09:51):
on losers by a nose. Well, you'll either have to
get hotter tips or longer horse than the.
Speaker 12 (10:00):
I like that.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
Well, they must have lost too out there, I see that,
Say Jack, how did you make out in the handicap?
Not so good, they'll unfortunately the horse ibt on just
got over the flu and was afraid of crowd. Yes,
but you know, Phil, you know I When it comes
to gambling, I'm a pretty good sport and I don't
mind when my horse lags behind. But when he walks
(10:21):
over the rail and takes a bite of my hot dog,
that's going a little too. So you learn your lesson. Eh, Yeah, sir,
the next horse eye bet, I don't have to have
a diesel engine in them.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Hey what are you fellas talking about?
Speaker 13 (10:36):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Nothing much, dohn Is it important?
Speaker 13 (10:38):
No?
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Well, jello is Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
When you are considering attempting dessert to top off your meal,
decide on jello because it has that new, extra rich
fresh fruit flavor and it tastes twice as good as
ever before.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Hooray for rosemar.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
Yes. With the big red letters on the jockey say
what is this a racetrack or a program? Am? Now?
Come in hello, Jickbanni, Yeah, yes, what can I do
for you? Well? Pardoned intraps and Poopsie, But I'm a detective.
A detective A your said it a bloodhounds with a dialect? Well,
(11:18):
what do you want? I'm under the impression that you
lost a vilet? Is this correct? A vile? Yeah? Did
you find it? Did you offer a reward? Yes? Then
I found it and you are well. Well, Hey, fellas,
look my violin? Say it sure is my violin? All right?
They say, you don't, fellas. I knew i'd get it
(11:39):
back tonight, virtue triumph.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
When you're trying to play the bah am.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
I listen, fellow, this is a night of night. Not
only will I redeem myself in the eyes of my listeners,
but I'll make Fred Allen hang his head so low
he'll have to get an extra shoe for his nose,
and there won't be any size to either.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
All his nose. Isn't it that long?
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Jack?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Long enough to reach clear to Hollywood and to my affairs? Listen, Jack,
why didn't you forget it? Be in play something popular? Well?
What song would you like to hear? Penny's from Herring Herring?
That's heaven you're telling me? Tell mister Bennet to put
it blunt how's it by the compensation? Oh, yes, the reward.
(12:23):
Here you are, my good man, a nice new green,
crisp crinkly one dollar bill. Hmmm adjectives he gives me. Oh,
you don't want it there, don't jump at conclusion, Well,
that's all You're going to get a dollar here?
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
I'll put it in my volat. That's a nice wallet.
I thought it was your chest. Well, goodbye, mister. Say
what's your name that I can tell you? Why not?
There's a reward for me too. Oh I'm sorry, well, goodbye, goodbye.
(13:02):
By the cheese left thread, Allen is right. Well, boys,
it cost me a dollar to get my violin back,
but it was worth every penny of us. Okenny, how
about singing your song when I get all set for
my number?
Speaker 8 (13:14):
Okay, Jack, are you really gonna play the bee?
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Am I gonna play the bee? Did Columbus turn back
in the middle of the Atlantic, I don't know. Did
Washington hesitate before crossing the Delaware?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Did Admiral Dewey retreat at Madilla?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Three strikes?
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Come out? And thank Daddy, I gonna play the bee.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
So proper and full line upon this lovely night, were
still here making foolish conversy.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Instead of being bright.
Speaker 5 (14:04):
Let's be ourselves tonight and take a back it of
the situation. Shan is young, and yours of beautiful looking
(14:27):
among the chads, beautifully.
Speaker 7 (14:35):
Open your fae.
Speaker 5 (14:40):
Loss said Lobbryze is saying of it, and you caret
into the swing of it, lady, when we start, when
the lead is kissable.
Speaker 7 (15:03):
And is cool, any dream is for mess.
Speaker 13 (15:09):
About in my heart, horblemon is high.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
Your so glamorous and iffy seem the glamoris lady.
Speaker 10 (15:33):
What can I do?
Speaker 5 (15:38):
One line he's not and mine in.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
Our Pennybaker singing, The night is young and you're so beautiful.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment has arrived, the
moment when I will erase all verbal stains and oral
blemishes from the once illustrious name of Jack Bennett. Of course,
(16:35):
after concluding my selection to be mister Allen, who even
thinks that wrestling is crooked, will no doubt accuse me
of trickery to nip such a possibility in the bud.
I will pass through our studio audience, and you folks
can observe for yourselves that I have only a violin
in one hand and a bowl in the other at
(16:56):
a boy jack quiet, I wouldn't trust you either. I
further wish to state that there is nothing hidden up
my sleeve and no accomplices, either mechanical or human, in
this auditorium. Now for my first trick, I mean solo.
Speaker 10 (17:11):
I come in, Hello buck, Hi Andy, Andy, you got
here just in time.
Speaker 7 (17:24):
Yep.
Speaker 8 (17:24):
And when I heard that you got your fiddle back,
I ran up here as fast as I could. Well,
that was nice of you, say, fuck, I was sure
surprised when I heard Murray went to New York.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
Yeah, she left last week for a short vacation.
Speaker 8 (17:38):
Dog gone it. I'm sorry, I'm mister. I wanted to
kiss her goodbye.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Well, Andy, you can kiss her when she gets back.
Speaker 8 (17:45):
Yes, she'll be rested up then and can take it.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
One thing I like about you, Andy, you don't brag you.
What's that? That's Kenny's girl, Lena. I know you thought
it was the radiator, Lena. You know you know Andy Devine.
Speaker 9 (18:04):
Oh sure, the man that talks like Donald's duck.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Donald's duck. That's pretty good.
Speaker 8 (18:10):
We're doing all right, we're bolting pictures.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Yeah, well, Andy, I'm glad you came up to the
studio tonight. You know you're gonna hear me play the
b and make out a pool out of that town
hall sandman. And you know what the sandman does. Yeah?
Did you hear him last Wednesday when he said a
buzzard brought me instead of a stork.
Speaker 8 (18:28):
A buzzard?
Speaker 7 (18:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (18:30):
Oh dog gun? And I thought he said, blizzard. No,
I gotta get mad.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
Why don't I get funny lines like that?
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Why don't I get any lines? Please? Fellows? Well, the
time is growing short. My fingers are just itching to
wander over those violin strings. So let's get going. Andy,
you sit right down in front and enjoy yourself.
Speaker 8 (18:49):
Okay, buck, can I applaud now? In case I fall asleep?
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Now, I'll have to take that chance. Andy, And now,
ladies and gentlemen, before going into my number. It gives
me great pleasure to introduce to you the man who
will share my glory tonight my accompanies, that eminent pianist
rachmaninov T. Smith. Take a bow, missus Smith, thank you,
(19:17):
And my price is still ten dollars. I try to
get him for eight, folks, but he's got me in
his Spine'll hand me that violin, Kenny, are Jack? I'll
even take that line? Okay, what's the matter with you? Phil?
Well I want to be an actor.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Well, you're on the wrong program.
Speaker 4 (19:34):
With my talent. Yes, m well that's pretty good for
an old violin, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
So you're really going to play the B this time?
Speaker 4 (19:48):
John, I can't get out of it. I mean, I'm
rare in the golf. Come on, introduce me and remember
that Jello isn't playing this number?
Speaker 3 (19:54):
And wait like two just pretty good for theirs?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
All right, okay, okay Jack, ladies and gentlemen, mister Jack
Benny will now play Schubert's immortal classic The Bee.
Speaker 6 (20:27):
If you please, Professor, This is.
Speaker 14 (21:25):
Indeed as against the under.
Speaker 10 (22:12):
Great ranks.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
Oh that's all right, fellas, it was nothing, nothing at all.
Well what now, mister Allan? Play Phil? I did.
Speaker 7 (23:27):
Question you're a tough spot?
Speaker 4 (24:29):
Well you were in a tough spot. That was uh
Anamania from swing high swing low, played by Phil Harrison
his arts rand Very good, Phil, very good. Not a
classic perhaps, but quite well done. Say Jan, yes, Kenny,
when are you going to play the B? I just
played it?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Yeah, but you clipped its wings.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
What do you mean? Well, when you came to the
hard part, you switched to plenty of money in you. Well,
there was a detour sign on my music. And further more, Phil,
you've been acting a bit uppity lately. Are you dissatisfied
with your job?
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Here?
Speaker 4 (25:06):
Are you unhappy in knowledge the group? I mean? Are
you seeking greener posture? No? Greener money? Oh well, let
me tell you something, Phil, excuse me me, man, if
there's a phone, keep the argument going, Kenny, Now, listen, Phil,
who do you think I am?
Speaker 13 (25:26):
Not?
Speaker 4 (25:26):
Never mind Kenny, I'll.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Pick up the argument later.
Speaker 4 (25:29):
Never mind. Hello. Hello, oh oh, hello, Mary, how are you? Honey?
It's Mary Fellas you did well. I'm glad you liked it.
I played at the best I could, of course. Right
in the middle of the number, I found out one
of my strings was dental flaws, which is all right.
(25:53):
I just had dinner. Are you having a good time
in New York? Well? I do too, but I don't
see how I get away from here. Well, anyway, Mary,
I have a good time and come back soon. Yeah. Yeah,
everybody sends her love? Yes I will yeah, yeah, goodbye there, goodbye. Hello,
(26:15):
what's that operator? If I'll accept the charges? You know, fellas,
it must be nice in New York right now? Gee,
after talking to Mary, i'd i'd love to go there
for a couple of weeks.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Going on me too, you know.
Speaker 8 (26:29):
Fuck, I've never been to New York.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
We don't cry, Andy, you haven't. No, well, that last
one was a laugh one. Maddy. You you get a
big kick on it. No, really, you would you? You'd
love you know, you can take a subway and see
the whole town. You know. Hey, wait a minute, fellows,
(26:53):
you know I gotta wait a minute. I got an idea. Listen,
get away from the microphone, fellas, I don't want Marry
to hear this.
Speaker 12 (26:59):
You know what I'd like to do.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
Wait a minute, step up, get away from the micros.
I like the surprise Mary. Hop on the train and join.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Her in New York, New York.
Speaker 4 (27:12):
Don step up those microphones.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Okay, Jack, I'll wait a minute.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
Can everybody make the trip? It's okay? How about you, Bell, Well,
I'll have to join you later.
Speaker 8 (27:25):
Can't take my trainer along.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
And they have hotels in New York, two of them.
I wait a minute. Listen when I ringe this right, away.
I'll call up the station now and make our reservation
on don Why I'm ordering the tickets. Who makes a
lot of noise about yellow or anything but naked. Wow,
I don't want Marry to hear it, right right right, Hello, operator, operator,
(27:48):
get me the go ahead, Tom.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
I'm glad to have this opportunity to about Jello, the
fastest selling jelatin dessert on the Marble.
Speaker 4 (27:54):
Take it off. It is first in favor because Jacky.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Hawbury Raspberry cherry.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Why nan, and don't ask for jello by names live
on one of the big red.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Letters on the barn.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
What no, not sick delicious flavors six tickets? No, no, no,
the name is not raspberry, it's jack Berry, I mean
Jack Benny. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Okay, thank you, goodbye,
well fellas, it's all said, old boy, I could just
be the look on Mary's faith will be popping on her.
I can hardy weight. I'm going right home now in pack.
(28:29):
Are you going to take your trunk, Kenny? Normal trunk's
been in New York and I don't bother them. Oh boy,
this imagine that two weeks in New York Broadway Rimes square.
Speaker 8 (28:38):
Hew, I'm the Circle ten.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
Pin Alley forty second three Grant two.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Everybody loves parties, and here's a party dessert that you
can serve every day. It looks mighty festis and it's
no trouble to prepare because it's another delicious dessert that's
made with jello. It's called Strawberry Snow and this is
how you make it. There's all one package of strawberry
jello in one pint of hot water, then chill until
(29:37):
cold and syrupy, and placed in a bowl of ice
or ice water. Add one egg white and whip with
a rotary egg beater until fluffy mold, or pile in.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Sherbet glasses and chill. It's a feast for the eye.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
A treat for the taste, with tempting proof rut flavor
to please everybody. So give every day dinners a party touch.
Have strawberry Snow for dessert.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
One night this week.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Be sure you make it with the real thing, genuine
jello with the extra rich frish root flavor. Look for
the big red letters on the box. They spell Jello.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
This is the last number of the twenty second program
in the new Jello series, and we'll be with you
again next Sunday night at the same time, broadcasting from
New York City. The detective on the program was played
by Pat c Flick, through the courtesy of Warner Brothers.
Say Jack, why can't we leave New York right now? No,
We'll have to wait on Tuesday nights because I'm dropping
in on Ben Burney's program first.
Speaker 8 (30:38):
Why are you still whispering?
Speaker 12 (30:39):
I want to surprise Ben too. Good night, folks, if
you're a.
Speaker 7 (30:55):
Twenty of mine.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
In ears from the Gold Leaders of nineteen thirty seven,
the night is young and Lewis will build a I'm from.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Candiana and I've got my love to keep me WI
on from Irvin Burnins Bar of Bonnie Avenue before gram
of Comya from Hollywood, California.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
Enter the FIDNA.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
There's of the Red Network of the National Broadcasting Company.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Heyfi, Los Angeles.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Please send your questions and comments to host at CLASSICCOMEDYOTR
dot com. Until next time. A saying that is often
attributed to Mark Twain, but is really in the words
of H. Jackson Brown Junior, written in the nineteen ninety
book PS I Love You and credited to his mother,
(31:36):
Sarah Francis Brown, twenty years from now, you will be
more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by
the ones you did do.
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