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On the Vice-Presidency and the historic effects of changing them. Once again, here at The H.O.R.N., we figure things out long before the Multi-Millionaire ForProfit Media gets their coffee going. Just wait till some MAGAT Feeeedumm Carcass jagoff claims Hunter Biden arranged for Bob Menendez to get the gold. Fappy gets a LOT dirtier almost every day.
There are at least twenty-eight lilly-livered, yellow-bellied cowards in the House and Senate. Naturally, they're all MAGATS, thrilled to bomb the life out of brown people, but totally browning their own undies at the thought of crossing their Daddy Vladdy. Meanwhile, as democracy burns, so does our planet . . . and drowns. The data are in: flooding in Libya, Greece, and Turkey was made more likely and far worse by climate catastro...
Glory! Baptists bounce a racist, homophobic preacher. Also get sued for outing a philandering former leader of the SoBap Con. John Fetterman keeps owning the MAGATS and they insist on continuing to walk on rakes. Perspective is an entirely foreign thing to them. Chuck Schumer caves to Tommy the Tuber. So much (more) losing for Julius Geezer. Adam Schiff tears into Gym "Jacket Off" Jordan. Merick Garland shows up and takes no guff f...
All hail John Fetterman, Fashion Scourge! In which we learn a new phrase: "grabbing the hog." J6 terrorist's paranoia pegs the needle. Christian sex trafficking "advocate" caught on video groping a young girl's breasts . . . for Jesus, of course. Racist MAGAT org sues West Point. Texas school fires teacher for reading "The Diary of Anne Frank" to 8th graders. Is Loren Boebert coming to Ravenswood, WV?
Is it just cheap, tawdry bad behavior, or is Loren Boebert actually the sum total and entirety of the MAGAT Party? I feel confident that it's the latter. Julius Geezer claims he's leading Barack Obama in the polls. He's well on the way to setting up his incompetence defense at trial. The Marines (who don't have a Commandant) would like it if someone could tell them what happened to their F-35, please.
Labor learns to flex its muscles again. Jack Smith seeks to fit Tangerine Tiberius with a narrow gag. Lee heads for the northeast. Your 'umble 'ostess has a new name (but Robyn's still fine, too). Leon Skum needs deporting and not because he humiliated his partner (because he's Leon Skum, after all). Roger delivers a master class on canned food safety. SD's Kristi Noem turns out to be, in the words of Rick James, "a very kinky girl...
Julius Geezer won't go to trial in October . . . dammit. Michael Cohen has a laugh at the expense of Counsel For the Parking Garage. a horrifying new piece of investigative journalism from ProPublica. And it's not even about a crooked SCOTUS justice. Go figure. Is Bishop Willard really a hero?
What's in a cellphone? That ain't a technical question? MAGATs get it wrong. Y'all, I don't do a lot of deliberate conversations. Tonight: an interview. Aly and I had a conversation for the ages.
"Impeachment Inquiries! Gitcher impeachment inquiries here," bleated Kevvers McCarthy, hoping to protect his fragile manhood, er, Speakership, from the clutches of Marge the Merciless. WTF even is an "impeachment inquiry." Turns out, it's not a thing. And the Big Giant Forehead, having just founded himself outside the circus Egress, is MAD! We get a COVID update from our friend and adviser, Paul From Parts Unknown. Take his wise wo...
Morans can't help but say moran things every September 11th. It's as predictable as the phases of the moon. MAGATS are getting nasty in Virginia (what a surprise) and it touches a black man and a woman who's unashamed of her sexuality. Because of course. Marge calls for secession. We re-visit the 14th Amendment.
Happy Star Trek Day! Happy Mark Meadows Loses Day! Julius Geezer's gonna (not) just LOVVVVE that! Not-So-Happy Sammy BadBreath is still dirty day. Happy weekend!
Brain Drain is real and it's a scourge to MAGAT states, a self-inflicted wound. Peter Navarro whines on after a jury tried and true convicts him. Poor baby! Enrique Tarrio's mama (not exactly mother of the year timber) bawls about her awful offspring's sentence. Another threat of violence from another MAGAT if Nitwit Nero isn't on the ballot. It always Gaetz worse. Ahead of the curve: the MSNBC Morning Zoo Crew finally catches up. ...
How is it that two tiny days have such a lengthy feel about them? I'm back. I needed those two days. Learning self-care and when not to put yourself in a ditch is more important than many know. Pay attention and give yourself grace.
Just the same, time waits for no woman, and there was an abundance of mean and stupid and downright (Christian, naturally) evil to address. "If t'were done, t'were best done quickly."
What happens when an entire segment of the nation stops believing in the Constitution? Examples from Tennessee and Texas. More J6 terrorists head up the river. Another J6 prisoner pleads for help from people who hate her. Leopards Eating People's Faces Party eats her face. Nimrata Haley forgets she'll get old someday. And COVID is probably worse than anyone knows.
Sorry about my absence Wednesday. The explanation follows and, CW: it's sad. That said, it was yet a busy program, replete with unrepentant MAGAT terrorists, a weepy MAGAT terrorist, MAGAT judges going easy on them, Nitwit Nero barking and grunting (always!), a win for the First Amendment, a pissant Tennestan D.A. who wants to defy a U.S. District Judge, a whiny Peter Navarro, and a handsy Matt Schlapp. And that's just for starters...
David Frum is a pearl-clutching ninny. Justin Jones of Nashville is fearless. He's making the pasty-faced, doughy MAGATS squirm and it's a righteous thing to behold. Fappy Thomas' "Integrity Letter" takes a blow amidships. Moms Fer Liburtee forms a chapter in WV. No word yet on whether they've let loose their inner Hitler fangirl. Nitwit Nero's pettifoggers had a bad day before Chutkan, J. Swastikas on a Nazi's AR-15. A black neigh...
Jacksonville. Another of Monkey Up's fascist eggs hatches and leaves the nest (armed to the teeth). Nitwit Nero gets another trial date and another arraignment date. Mark Meadows takes the stand in federal court. A response to that idiotic ditty by Oli Whatshisname. A high-profile of the B.I.T.C.H.E.S. faces sentencing (don't worry, he'll most likely walk. Facepalm. One dead in Chapel Hill feeedumm outbreak.
Explaining Nitwit Nero's "Kubrick Stare" pose. No way has that incurious bastard ever seen a Kubrick film. COVID's on the rise. Schools shut down in a pair of deep MAGAT states. MAGATS are threatening politicians all over the country. I hate to mention it, but this month is, once again, a huge struggle to keep the bills paid. We're $165 away from being funded for LAST Friday, unfunded for this entire week. We haven't closed a m...
We begin with the mishigas in Milwaukee. Vivek gets a new nickname. We end, though, with the zaniest Mango Mussolini live arrest coverage in the entire nation. First draft of history and all that.
Busy program! Japan to release Fukushima water into Pacific and South Koreans don't like it. Secret Service playing footsie with the Oaf Keepers. A right-wing christian gospel sharp actually calls out the fascist christianity of Matt Walsh. Texas nuns ban the bishop. 91 y/o pedophile priest not sure if he should be punished for raping little boys. MAGAT pageant in Milwaukee may be missing a contestant. Mark Meadows has a no good, r...
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