July 27, 2026 • 40 mins
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What do you do when a sudden mental health crisis makes you question everything you know about a loving God?
This week, Sarah Fox, mental health advocate and host of the Rough Edges podcast, joins Jaime for an eye-opening and deeply transparent conversation about the realities of navigating bipolar disorder as a believer.
In this episode, Sarah shares the unique, often isolating, and complex challenges that Christians face when dealing with a mental health diagnosis. She opens up about the heartbreaking reality of experiencing a manic crisis, the fear of judgment from within the walls of the church, and the profound struggle of wrestling with anger and confusion toward God after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Sarah also unpacks incredible insights on resilience that prove God can handle our heaviest doubts and darkest moments. From finding unexpected intimacy with the Lord in the depths of depression to untangling spiritual sensationalism from clinical mania, this conversation highlights the unbreakable faithfulness of God. She also introduces powerful, practical ways for the church community to show up and intercede for those who are struggling—without over-spiritualizing the pain or offering simple platitudes.
You'll walk away inspired by Sarah's courageous faith, reminded that God's strength shines brightest in our weakest moments, and equipped with practical ways to support loved ones facing mental health battles.
Resources & Links Mentioned in this Episode:
-
If you or someone you know is in immediate need of help, please call or text 988 to reach the Crisis Lifeline.
-
Visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness at NAMI.org for support, education, and mental health resources.
-
Listen to more of Sarah's story and find tools for mental wellness at roughedgespodcast.com.
- Follow Sarah on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube
Links:
https://www.tiktok.com/@roughedgeswithsarah
https://www.instagram.com/roughedgeswithsarah
https://youtube.com/@roughedgeswithsarah
Discover More:
Explore additional episodes of Praying Christian Women, Mindful Christian Prayers, and other Christian podcasts at Lifeaudio.com
Check out our new podcast, Christian True-Crime Junkies!, on Apple, Spotify, or anywhere you listen to podcasts!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Life Audio.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Hi there, and welcome to the Praying Christian Women podcast.
I'm Jamie Hampton and today I am really excited to
have a special guest with us. We have Sarah Fox
with us today. Sarah is a graduate of Liberty University.
She has an MS in Criminal Justice in forensic Psychology.
She's an alumna of the King's College with a BA
in Politics, Philosophy and Economics with a pre law miner
(00:29):
So she does all the things and she's also the
host of the Rough Edges podcast. Most importantly, Sarah shares
about her own story, her own struggles with mental health,
with her journey, her healing journey, her faith journey, and
really the intersection between faith and mental illness, which is
(00:50):
so needed. So, Sarah, thank you for being here. I
just can't thank you enough for being willing and courageous
enough to just share so transparently all of what you're
going through have been through because it's needed, it's so needed.
So thank you for being here. We really are excited
to talk with you.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Well, we like to ask all of our guests before
we get into our actual conversation, what is your favorite
prayer closet, So it's in air quotes because it could
be an actual closet, it could be a room, it
could be something off the wall, like you know, outside
or somewhere even crazier. So where do you like to
meet with God?
Speaker 3 (01:29):
I love to meet with God in my room and
I usually turn on like a sunset lamp has like
a nice like purple aura because I love purple, and
I have my journal and my Bible and it's just
a time where I could just decompress and really speak
to Him.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Lighting is so important to me too. I have problems
with like bright fluorescent lighting. My husband can't stand it
because in our kitchen we have like kind of dim
are like little round lights that you can adjust, and
then we have like the big blasting lights, and he
always comes on and flips on the big lights.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
He's like, why do you like to work in the dark.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I'm like, no, it's it's ambiance. But yeah, I love that. Well,
for listeners who don't know your story, can you just
kind of start from the beginning and share about your story,
so you know, like when did you meet the Lord?
Speaker 1 (02:24):
When did you become a believer?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Yes, so I grew up in a Christian household, and
so I met the Lord at a very young age,
like around nine years old. And from there God has
just been showing up in ways that I can't even
begin to describe, like He's been such a faithful God
and I in my journey. I recently got diagnosed with
(02:51):
bipolar disorder in January of twenty twenty one, and that
was really where a crisis of faith started because I
wanted to know why God would allow it to happen.
I was angry at God, and for many months there
was this tug of war going on on the inside
(03:13):
where I felt like God. I knew God was with me,
but I also was like wrestling with the fact that
He would allow this to happen. And so given that
I had the bipolar diagnosis, I was able to not
only find a regimen that worked for me in terms
(03:33):
of like medication and getting to stability, but also I
was able to have a renewed sense of faith in
God where He became real to me in such a
new way, and I was able to not only understand
that my faith is what drives the hope that I have,
(03:57):
to be able to really understand how to deal with
mental health. But it also showed me that no matter
what season of life that I'm in, God is my
anchor and he keeps me grounded in no matter what
type of time that I'm having.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, I just I feel like when we face difficult times,
we have kind of this like one or the other
response to it. I think as Christians we either like
are just so angry and so confused and so frustrated
that we turn away from God, or we're so angry
(04:35):
and so frustrated and so confused we kind of like
turn into Him and just kind of beat our fists
into his chest until he gives us answers. What do
you think, Like did you ever have a temptation to
just leave your faith and to just say I'm out?
Like either he doesn't care or maybe he's not even there, Like,
what are your thoughts on kind of how that process
(04:57):
worked for you?
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Yeah? I actually he did have a time. It was
after my grandfather passed away where I was really wrestling
with the grief and also wondering how a good God
could just keep allowing all these things to happen. And
it felt like a pile up from being diagnosed with
(05:19):
bipolar disorder, and then having a death in the family
and then other personal issues going around surrounding that. So
it felt like a very tumultuous time, and I was
so close to saying, God, I'm hanging this up, like
you don't really care about me. There's so much going on.
(05:40):
But even in the midst of those feelings, I understood
that God can handle them. A lot of the times
we think that God can't handle distress and the emotions
that come up with when we doubt him, but he
can and he does understand and what we're going through.
(06:02):
And so that's what kept me going in the faith,
like understanding that God does know about my issues and
he does know how to be there in the midst
of them, even when I don't want to talk to him,
even when I feel like he's just not responding in
the way that I would like. I know that He
(06:24):
can understand my emotions and that he could be able
to provide whether it's through somebody else or whether it's
through a worship song, or whether it's through a message
something to get me back on track. And so that's
one of the things that I value about my relationship
with God.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Yeah, kind of just being known, even in the midst
of the hard things, knowing that He knows you. And
what would you say to someone like, as a first
step if they're listening right now and they're going through
something or some things that are just unspeakably hard and
they're tempted to walk away, or maybe they've walked away
and they just you know, came across this by chance
(07:03):
or you know, through divine providence, Like, what would you
advise them as a first step to take in the
midst of the pain, to at least like move in
a direction toward allowing God back into their life.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Yeah, I would definitely say it's never too late to
turn back to God. I think, especially if you did
walk away from God, there's almost that feeling that you
can never go back and you can go back. Especially
with the story of the prodigal Son. I love that
story so much because in that story, for those who
(07:38):
are not familiar, there was a younger son who wanted
his inheritance, and he squandered his inheritance and thought that
he couldn't go back to his father. And when he
did eventually go back, his father was there to welcome
him with open arms and to say welcome back, like
my son was lost but now he's found. And it's
(08:00):
such a beautiful depiction of God's love towards us that
even when we turn away, he is there to welcome
us back with open arms. So I would tell that
person it's never too late to turn back, and God
is waiting for you. He is always there for you
to return to him, and so don't be afraid to
(08:22):
turn back because it's never too late.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I love that and that story.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
The interesting thing to me is the other brother was
so mad that his dad took his other brother back,
and that just shows like we read the story and
we're like, okay, he did all these things, but the
extent of the insult that that was to his family
and to his father, I mean, he didn't just go
off and party for a little bit and come back
like it was a very grave insult and sin. And
(08:51):
the response to that brother I think should remind us
how gravely that son had sinned against his father, and
yet he was just welcomed back with those open arms.
And I think we can be both of those people.
I think there's a part of us that's that other
brother saying you don't deserve this, You don't deserve this love.
(09:12):
And I just think to be able to talk to
that voice and say, Nope, that's not true, it's biblical.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
So thank you for sharing that part of your story.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
If we could rewind a little, can you talk about
like the time. So how old were you when you
started to notice something was off and not right?
Speaker 3 (09:33):
That's a great question. I would say sixteen years old
because in high school I would have a lot of
different like ranges of mood, and I thought I was
just dealing with depression because when I got depressed, it
was a very deep depression, and so I decided to
see a therapist. Fast forward in college, and I was
(09:57):
actually the first one in my family and my immediate
family to go to therapy, and so everybody was wondering,
like what's going on, Like are you okay? Like you
don't have to speak to a stranger. But I knew
deep down that there was something off, especially with the
bouts of depression that I was having. And then I
(10:18):
would have almost a change where I would go into
a hyperactive mode where I would be so happy, so
on top of the world, and then I would plummet
back down into the depression. So I knew that that
wasn't really normal in terms of like an emotional balance.
(10:38):
So when I went to therapy, I discovered that I
might have a mood disorder, but we didn't know exactly
what it was, and at the time, I was a
little afraid to go to a psychiatrist. So I was like,
you know what, I'm just going to stick it out
in therapy and this is working for me, and that's
about it. So I really knew that something was wrong
(11:01):
in those high school years, but I also attributed it
to puberty and the range of emotions that teenagers can experience.
That's what I thought was happening. So I don't want
to say that I didn't take it seriously, but I
was at a point where I was like, I'm not
gonna go further and delve into all of this because
(11:24):
I just needed the therapy.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Yeah, And I think you bring up a really good
point just even going to therapy, you know. I think
that's true for so many of us, and especially in
the Christian faith. Like I think there's this stigma, and
I thank god it's changing.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I think the more people speak.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Out about it, the less of a stigma there is.
But there's just this idea, especially in family were you're
the first one to go to therapy. What's wrong with
you? You don't need therapy, just talk to us. Why are
you talking to a stranger? I think that hits the
nail on the head. And to even go to therapy
was probably huge for you. And then like to take
that next step to go to a psychiatrist to maybe
(12:16):
pursue medication or diagnosis or whatever like that would be
even further into the unknown for the people that.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Were surrounding you.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
And and so I'm just appreciative that you brought that
up because I think in the Christian side of things,
there's also this I think maybe like a shame, like, well,
why can't you just pray it away? Why can't you
just read your Bible more and think good things? You know,
whatever is good and noble and pure and excellent and praiseworthy.
Just think about that stuff and then you know, kind
(12:47):
of manage it through prayer and reading your Bible. Which
we don't manage diabetes through that, or high cholesterol or
blood pressure or you know. I mean, yes, I always
want to make sure people know, well, prayer is the
foundation in the backbone of everything. Medication is extra. But
I don't think God meant for us to deny all
(13:09):
medical interventions and only pray because we're supposed to be
praying and it will always make things better because you're
involving God. But that permission needs to be given. I
think like it's okay to go to therapy, it's okay
to pursue a diagnosis and medication and help. So what
did that look like for you taking that next step?
(13:31):
When did that happen? How long did it take for
that to happen.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
So I just want to also to your point, Jamie,
that you made earlier about us as Christians not really
understanding the gravity of mental health until we get to
crisis mode. And I was in that situation where I
knew that there was something off. I went to therapy.
(13:55):
I was told that it was a mood disorder, but
we didn't know exactly what it was, and I just
kind of let it sit until I was in crisis mode.
And that crisis came through a manic episode. And what
that looks like is that you are very incoherent while
you're in the episode, and you also feel like you're invincible.
(14:18):
You're on top of the world danger is not a
thing to you. And you also have like these moments
where you're talking extremely fast no one can really keep up.
And you also have a decreased need for sleep, so
you could sleep for like two hours and wake up
feeling refreshed like you slept for eight or nine. And
(14:41):
that was what I was experiencing for a couple of weeks.
And it was my family that was like, WHOA, what
is going on? Like this is a lot that you're
going through. What is happening? And so while I was
really going through that, my mother, sister, they were the
ones that you know, called the ambulance. And that's when
(15:05):
I went to the hospital. And it wasn't until I
experienced my first hospitalization that I was able to get
on medication and get into the right treatment plan and
to get to that stage of stability. But I say
all this to say that a lot of the times
we wait till the crisis happens in order to actually
(15:28):
go through with treatment and to even take that first
step to get help. And so I would encourage everybody
listening not to wait till it gets to crisis mode.
Like if you are experiencing something and you feel a
little bit off or you're experiencing symptoms. The same way
that you would tell your doctor that you're experiencing certain
(15:51):
symptoms and that something's off. You can tell a therapist
that something is off. You can tell a psychiatrist that's
something is off. Like these things don't have to be
out of the realm of possibility, Like we can go
to mental health professionals for help. And so that's when
(16:12):
it was a problem for me because I let it
go into crisis mode.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Yeah, that's such a good point. And again, just like
giving that permission is huge for people who might not
take that step otherwise. So can you talk about during
that time, you know, what was your relationship with God,
Like what were your conversations with God? Like, and during
(16:38):
that difficult time leading up to that crisis point and
then after.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
So leading up to the crisis point, my relationship with
God was it was very close. Like I would pray
about everything like I would if I was dealing with
the slightest stake, I would bring it to God. And
I was also bringing my depressive thoughts and everything to
God to the point where I was like, Okay, God
(17:07):
is fine for me, Therapy is fine for me. I
don't really need anything else. And then once I hit
crisis mode, it was almost like, God, what happened? You know,
like we were going so well and interestingly enough, when
you're in mania, that's another aspect spirituality. You feel a
(17:28):
heightened sense of spiritual awareness and you feel like you're
the closest that you are to God, when really you
could be experiencing a form of psychosis. So that's another
thing to watch out for, and that's what I was
experiencing during the manic episode. And then when I got hospitalized,
(17:49):
that's when I was very confused because I thought I
was the closest that I could ever be to God,
and now I'm in a hospital not knowing what's going on,
and I was just having a level of anger confusion,
and so my relationship with God was a bit strained
because I was thinking, there's no way that a good
(18:11):
God could allow this to happen to me. And I
was also wrestling with the fact that it did happen,
and how do I go about my Christianity and how
do I live that out while dealing with this mental
health diagnosis, Because the first thing that I was thinking,
what are the people in the church are gonna think,
(18:32):
like not only my family, but at church, like when
they hear that I have a mental health diagnosis, like
what's gonna happen? And there was a lot of shame
that came up as well, because I thought, well, if
God loves me and he's a good God and we
were so close, is he punishing me now? Like what
(18:54):
is happening? So there was like a lot of different
things that were going through my head in that season.
But the thing that I keep going back to is
that God is a faithful God. And even when I
had the questions, even when I was wrestling with what
to do next, I knew God was there for me,
(19:15):
and I knew that he was going to embrace those
questions with me and that I would be able to
not only stay close to him during that time, but
I knew that He was going to bring me through
it despite what I was going through. And there was
even a part where I was like, God, I'm angry
at you, but I need you to stay with me,
(19:39):
Like I just decided, like that was my prayer, like
I'm I'm really mad, but I know that you're here,
so I need you to be here. And he was
so that was how my relationship with God took It
was a bit strained, but I was happy that we
were able to get back on track.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
I think all of that that you just said is
so important for everybody, regardless of what they're going through,
to like just to internalize, is that like again, like
permission to say God, I think you're mean, I think
you're unfair, I'm mad, but stick with me because where
(20:20):
else am I going to go? Like, I think that's
the huge I think that is the difference between someone
who turns from God and someone who turns into God
during a tough time. Is that recognition that he can
he can take all of that anger. I think people
who think I need to bottle it up. I can't
be disrespectful to God. I can't vent my frustrations or
(20:43):
even ask the question are you even there? Do you
even care? Are you actually trying to make me suffer? Like?
Do you take joy in that? Like these are questions
that come to us in the midst of the struggle.
And feeling not able to take that to God I
think makes people go and hide away from Him if
they already knew him in the first place.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
So thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
What you said also, like I think everyone can also
benefit from what you said about your first feelings, that
first thought, and it breaks my heart that like your
first thought was what are the people in the church
can think when that should be your safe place, Like
the Body of Christ, we need to be the safe
place for people who are struggling, whether it's with mental
(21:25):
illness struggles, whether it's with physical illness struggles, whether it's
any kind of struggle anything, Like we should not be
the judging place. We should not be the place where
if you don't fit this mold, then you're not welcome
and you don't fit in, you know, like you're too inconvenient.
So you know, we need our worship service to go
on and you know, for us all to put on
(21:46):
happy faces, you know. So that just stuck with me,
and I hope I know that we all need to
hear that is like we have to be the Body
of Christ and love and just minister to people that
are heard without any kind of judgmental, superficial stuff going on.
But it's tough because we're all humans and it becomes
(22:08):
a club and it becomes a who can you put
on the best show? I mean, that's just what it
always kind of turns into if we're not careful and
check ourselves. Can you explain a little bit more about
like the closeness that you kind of felt like you
had during the mania part of the bipolar back and forth?
(22:28):
What made you feel closer to God? Was it just
a sense of closeness. Was it feeling like you heard
more from Him or got more out of scripture?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
What was that? What did that look like?
Speaker 3 (22:38):
That is a great question. So that looked like a
lot of sensationalized feelings because I was already feeling all
like on the top of the world like during mania,
and so having that sense of nothing can touch me,
(23:00):
and knowing that I'm a Christian and you know, I
believe in God, a lot of those feelings were heightened
because I was thinking, I'm in a good mood. I'm
feeling very like invincible God must be on my side.
God must be here. And the thing is, God was there.
(23:23):
But sometimes God shows up in ways that we don't
even think about. And God could have shown up through
that hospitalization. But because I was in this manicked state,
I was hearing things. I was hearing like audible voices,
and I thought it was God. But really it was
(23:45):
my own mind that was sick at the time, and
so I thought I was close to God sheerly because
I was feeling a lot of these sensationalized emotions, and
so because I was feeling that, I thought they were
the Holy Spirit, because I didn't know that it was mania,
because when you're going through it, you don't feel like
(24:07):
anything's wrong with you. Like even when my family was
telling me, Hey, Sarah, you're talking a little too fast.
We can't understand you. You're saying a lot of things
that are just very out of the ordinary for you.
I was looking at them like, what's wrong with you?
Everything that I'm saying is from God, and everything that
(24:29):
I'm feeling is from God. So how could you say
that this is not true? And so there was a
lot of back and forth with that, and I thought
a lot of the things that I was thinking were
genius thoughts, Like I thought I was going to write
ten books about my life. There were gonna be volumes
about different things, and it was a lot of just
(24:52):
me being overly sensationalized at the time.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yeah, that brings up such a good point though, because
we've all been there when we have felt like, at
least to the point where we've felt like on top
of the world and you have this feeling inside and
it's it's almost like it's easy to be like, oh, yeah,
that's God and kind of attribute the feelings to the
(25:32):
Holy Spirit. And I'm not saying the Holy Spirit can't
fill you with joy. He can, But I'm just saying
that it is a dangerous assumption for anyone to equate
the way I feel with my level of closeness to God,
because honestly, like to me, it sounds like when you
were in the depths of depression, maybe you were the
closest to God that you've been.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
I mean, would you say that, would you agree with that?
Speaker 2 (25:58):
And so can you talk about that other side of
the coin, like the time that you were in depression
and how did your relationship with God look then?
Speaker 3 (26:08):
So that is a great observation, and I would say
that I probably was the closest to God that I've
ever been in those depressed moments, because when you are
at your weakest point, that's when God's strength comes in.
And that was what I was feeling throughout those depressive moments.
(26:29):
I mean, there were times where I felt very heavy
I felt very far from God. But I took a
page from David in the Psalms where he was just like,
I'm so weak, like my bones are frail, like my
tears are my food day and night. And he was
(26:49):
just expressing those emotions to God. And I was thinking,
I need to express this to God as well, because
if this is what I'm going through, God knows what
I'm going through, and he is big enough to handle
those emotions, so I'm not gonna lie. I wasn't praying
(27:10):
as consistently as I wanted to, but when I did pray,
I brought all of what I was feeling to God.
I wrote it down in my prayer journal, and I
just had a moment where I was laying all of
those burdens at his feet. And let me tell you,
God met me in those moments, whether it was a
(27:32):
family member or a friend, or my community rallying around me,
or whether it was a worship song that reminded me
of his love, or whether it was just walking down
the street and noticing the beauty of his creation and
just knowing that if the God who created all of
(27:53):
this loves me so much that he's walking with me
through all of this, I'm gonna be okay. So those
are the things that I held onto in those depressive moments.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Wow, that is really beautiful.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
And can you talk about kind of how your church
community did show up for you.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
It sounds like they did.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
Yeah, they did. A few of them did. They showed up,
And it was mostly because they didn't understand what was
going on with me. Yeah, because my family would just
tell them like, hey, just pray, and they didn't know.
They didn't see me in church for a while, and
so they were concerned, but they didn't know what was happening.
(28:35):
And so when I finally decided to share my story
through the podcast, I shared it with them. They were
just like, Wow, we had no idea that you were
going through this, and we're so sorry that you went
through it, but we're happy that God was able to
be with you in that moment. And some of them
(28:55):
were I got a couple of like, Oh, you need
to pray a little bit more because this is something
that you could overcome through prayer or stake in your word,
because that's something that you need in order to like
get through this. So there were a couple of people
that were still kind of over spiritualizing the situation. But
(29:18):
for the most part, I would say that my church family,
once they found out the details of what happened, they
were definitely rallying around me.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yeah, And I'm sure your family just didn't probably even
have the words or the you know, because it was
something very different from what they'd been confronted with. And
I just think as members of the church, we need
to remember that. Like I'm thinking, all those years you
were functioning through bipolar disorder before crisis mode and nobody
(29:51):
knew And then you know, the woman who comes to
church puts on the mask.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
I'm sure you've been there too.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Where you're like, you know, you're having an internal struggle,
but you come and you wear the mask and nobody.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Knows what's happening.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Like I'm just like, I just want to pray that
God would help us to have eyes to see someone
who needs like a word or a prayer, or even
if we don't know exactly what's going on, that we
can have eyes to see like just the tiny red flags,
like what could those be? Could you think about something
(30:27):
maybe that would be an indicator if someone is going
through something like especially a mental health struggle, But they're
kind of masking, kind of you know, covering it up,
but just something we could see as a flag to like,
this person needs prayer.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I know.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
I've just I've been through some anxiety stuff that I
was able to kind of mask, so I can I
sort of send feelers out sometimes. But if you do,
you have any advice In general.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Yeah, I would say that the matter is very complex
because when we're going through something, we like to pretend
to be okay, and we don't like really show what
we're going through. But I would say one of the
things is detachment, Like if you see somebody who's normally there,
(31:15):
somebody who's normally engaged in ministry and you know, being
around people. If you see that person less and less,
maybe reach out to them and see what's going on.
Or another thing is like isolation, where if somebody is
just constantly keeping themselves, keeping to themselves, not really interacting
(31:40):
or not really sharing as much, like definitely reach out
to that person. With mental health. It's a little bit
tricky because a lot of the times you need to
be educated on the symptoms. But what I would say,
if you see somebody who is acting out of the ordinary,
like you see that they are a little bit aloof
(32:03):
or you see that there's something going on with them,
Like you could definitely extend like prayer for them, and
it doesn't have to be something that's overly spiritualized again,
because sometimes we get carried away and we're like, oh,
the Lord told me to tell you that it's gonna
be okay. Like sometimes they just need your presence, like
(32:24):
maybe if you sit next to them, or if you
just say I'm here for you, and if you ask
them do you need any prayer? Like go ask them
what the request specifically is. If they don't specify, but
just say I'm praying for you, or just offer some
words of encouragement to them, or nothing at all is great.
(32:46):
Like if your presence is just there and you're just
sitting with them through the tough time, that could do
a lot as well.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
That's so hard being silent and just being present is
really hard, but I could see where sometimes it's way
better than actually trying to say something awkwardly that you
might not know anything about. And yeah, are there any
things that we can take to heart of like what
(33:18):
not to do, what not to say? You've touched on
a few of them, like I'm just reading pray more.
You need more, you know you need over spiritualizing. But
is there any like what not to do if you
know someone who's struggling with mental health.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
I would say, don't emphasize the struggle too much because
a lot of the times that gets people to shut down,
Like if you say, oh, I haven't seen you for
the past couple of Sundays, where have you been? Like
that kind of gets people to feel like, Okay, they're
clocking by attendance or something like maybe I should just
(33:54):
revert back. And so don't overemphasize the struggle. Another thing
I would say is that don't equate someone's faith journey
with their mental health journey. Those are two different things,
and you do not want to be in a position
where you're telling somebody that their faith is lacking and
(34:19):
that's why they have mental health issues, Like that's the
last thing that you want to do. Another thing is
to just reach out, but also don't overly reach out,
Like if you reached out already and you know that
you did, just know that God is working on them
(34:40):
and that you know it's okay not to constantly reach out.
And the last thing I would say is educate yourself
on mental health tools because somebody might not be able
to tell you exactly what they're going through, but if
you have certain tools like nine eight that is a
(35:02):
perfect mental health crisis hotline that you can call if
you're having a crisis or somebody around you is having
a crisis, that is the perfect resource that you can have,
and other resources like that, like, you can definitely utilize those,
but you have to do it through educating yourself.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Yeah, so that's nine eight eight, and we'll link our
in our show notes also, which is a crisis helpline
and also Nomi NAMI it's the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
It's NAMI dot org. There is support, there, there is education,
there's you know, just all kinds of stuff to help
(35:45):
you educate yourself on different types of mental illness and
you know where to find help, how to support people.
It's really a good resource. So, well, this brings us
to your podcast, So tell us little bit about how
that came about and what you talk about.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
Yes, So, Rough Edges came due to my bipolar diagnosis
and I wanted to have a space where people can
not only grow, but also have the tools that they
need to be able to heal and know that mental
health and faith can work together for mental wellness. And
(36:26):
so with that, I talk about resilience. I also talk
about what to do when you feel far from God
during a mental health episode. And I also talk with
a variety of guests their mental health advocates. They are
also mental health professionals and they share their own tips
(36:49):
and guidance on how to better manage your mental health.
So there's a variety of things on there and it's
for everyone, so definitely check it out.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Right. So that's the Rough Edges Podcast.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
And what is your What is your social media handle?
Where can people connect with you online and on social media?
Speaker 3 (37:10):
Yes, so I have a website which is rough edgespodcast
dot com. I'm also on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube under
the handle rough Edges with Sarah.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Okay, well, we'll link to all that stuff on our
show notes. And I just want to thank you Sarah
again for being here, for being such a great resource
for people, like a lifeline and a glimmer of hope
for people who are struggling. And I just know that
just countless women are going to be blessed by this conversation,
(37:42):
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
How can we pray for you today?
Speaker 3 (37:46):
Definitely continued to pray for my mental health and also
that God would show me what to do going forward
with the podcast and like building it out and all
of those things.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yeah, absolutely, all right, let's pray God, thank you so
much for Sarah. Thank you for just the courage, the boldness,
and the transparency with which she has shared her story.
And we just pray that you would bless her, that
you would bless her ministry, Bless every conversation she has
(38:22):
on her podcast, Bless every episode, and just allow that
podcast and just her voice to reach more people than
she could ever possibly ask or imagine. With the hope
and the love of Christ, with the hope that comes
from sticking with you and inviting you to stick with
us through the really really tough times. We just pray
(38:44):
your blessing over her body, mind, and spirit. We pray
in Jesus' name that you would just fill her with peace,
fill her with joy, fill her with just balance and
just a sense of just knowing that You're a constant foundation,
a rock underneath her feet through all of it. We
(39:06):
pray just for her mental health. We pray for medications
to be completely balanced and good and working well. And
we just pray that she would just be a shining
like a city on a hill. When you talk about us,
I just see her just shining as a light, a
beacon of hope for people just all over who who
(39:27):
needs someone just to be in it with them and
to teach and show by example what it means to
be transformed through pain and difficulty and to just stick
with you. Lord, we just pray that you would give
her clarity and wisdom and vision for the next steps.
Just let your voice be clear and just what her
(39:49):
next step is with the podcast, with what just the ministry,
with the voice you've given her, and the testimony that
you have given her that she is so courageously obediently
just allowed you to use for the benefit of others
in Jesus name, Amen.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
We'd like to take just a quick second to thank
the team at Life Audio for their partnership with us
on the podcast. If you go to lifeaudio dot com,
you will find dozens of other faith centered podcasts in
their network. They've got shows about prayer, Bible study, parenting,
and so much more. That's lifeaudio dot Com.
Life Audio.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Hi there, and welcome to the Praying Christian Women podcast.
I'm Jamie Hampton and today I am really excited to
have a special guest with us. We have Sarah Fox
with us today. Sarah is a graduate of Liberty University.
She has an MS in Criminal Justice in forensic Psychology.
She's an alumna of the King's College with a BA
in Politics, Philosophy and Economics with a pre law miner
(00:29):
So she does all the things and she's also the
host of the Rough Edges podcast. Most importantly, Sarah shares
about her own story, her own struggles with mental health,
with her journey, her healing journey, her faith journey, and
really the intersection between faith and mental illness, which is
(00:50):
so needed. So, Sarah, thank you for being here. I
just can't thank you enough for being willing and courageous
enough to just share so transparently all of what you're
going through have been through because it's needed, it's so needed.
So thank you for being here. We really are excited
to talk with you.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Well, we like to ask all of our guests before
we get into our actual conversation, what is your favorite
prayer closet, So it's in air quotes because it could
be an actual closet, it could be a room, it
could be something off the wall, like you know, outside
or somewhere even crazier. So where do you like to
meet with God?
Speaker 3 (01:29):
I love to meet with God in my room and
I usually turn on like a sunset lamp has like
a nice like purple aura because I love purple, and
I have my journal and my Bible and it's just
a time where I could just decompress and really speak
to Him.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Lighting is so important to me too. I have problems
with like bright fluorescent lighting. My husband can't stand it
because in our kitchen we have like kind of dim
are like little round lights that you can adjust, and
then we have like the big blasting lights, and he
always comes on and flips on the big lights.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
He's like, why do you like to work in the dark.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I'm like, no, it's it's ambiance. But yeah, I love that. Well,
for listeners who don't know your story, can you just
kind of start from the beginning and share about your story,
so you know, like when did you meet the Lord?
Speaker 1 (02:24):
When did you become a believer?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Yes, so I grew up in a Christian household, and
so I met the Lord at a very young age,
like around nine years old. And from there God has
just been showing up in ways that I can't even
begin to describe, like He's been such a faithful God
and I in my journey. I recently got diagnosed with
(02:51):
bipolar disorder in January of twenty twenty one, and that
was really where a crisis of faith started because I
wanted to know why God would allow it to happen.
I was angry at God, and for many months there
was this tug of war going on on the inside
(03:13):
where I felt like God. I knew God was with me,
but I also was like wrestling with the fact that
He would allow this to happen. And so given that
I had the bipolar diagnosis, I was able to not
only find a regimen that worked for me in terms
(03:33):
of like medication and getting to stability, but also I
was able to have a renewed sense of faith in
God where He became real to me in such a
new way, and I was able to not only understand
that my faith is what drives the hope that I have,
(03:57):
to be able to really understand how to deal with
mental health. But it also showed me that no matter
what season of life that I'm in, God is my
anchor and he keeps me grounded in no matter what
type of time that I'm having.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, I just I feel like when we face difficult times,
we have kind of this like one or the other
response to it. I think as Christians we either like
are just so angry and so confused and so frustrated
that we turn away from God, or we're so angry
(04:35):
and so frustrated and so confused we kind of like
turn into Him and just kind of beat our fists
into his chest until he gives us answers. What do
you think, Like did you ever have a temptation to
just leave your faith and to just say I'm out?
Like either he doesn't care or maybe he's not even there, Like,
what are your thoughts on kind of how that process
(04:57):
worked for you?
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Yeah? I actually he did have a time. It was
after my grandfather passed away where I was really wrestling
with the grief and also wondering how a good God
could just keep allowing all these things to happen. And
it felt like a pile up from being diagnosed with
(05:19):
bipolar disorder, and then having a death in the family
and then other personal issues going around surrounding that. So
it felt like a very tumultuous time, and I was
so close to saying, God, I'm hanging this up, like
you don't really care about me. There's so much going on.
(05:40):
But even in the midst of those feelings, I understood
that God can handle them. A lot of the times
we think that God can't handle distress and the emotions
that come up with when we doubt him, but he
can and he does understand and what we're going through.
(06:02):
And so that's what kept me going in the faith,
like understanding that God does know about my issues and
he does know how to be there in the midst
of them, even when I don't want to talk to him,
even when I feel like he's just not responding in
the way that I would like. I know that He
(06:24):
can understand my emotions and that he could be able
to provide whether it's through somebody else or whether it's
through a worship song, or whether it's through a message
something to get me back on track. And so that's
one of the things that I value about my relationship
with God.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Yeah, kind of just being known, even in the midst
of the hard things, knowing that He knows you. And
what would you say to someone like, as a first
step if they're listening right now and they're going through
something or some things that are just unspeakably hard and
they're tempted to walk away, or maybe they've walked away
and they just you know, came across this by chance
(07:03):
or you know, through divine providence, Like, what would you
advise them as a first step to take in the
midst of the pain, to at least like move in
a direction toward allowing God back into their life.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Yeah, I would definitely say it's never too late to
turn back to God. I think, especially if you did
walk away from God, there's almost that feeling that you
can never go back and you can go back. Especially
with the story of the prodigal Son. I love that
story so much because in that story, for those who
(07:38):
are not familiar, there was a younger son who wanted
his inheritance, and he squandered his inheritance and thought that
he couldn't go back to his father. And when he
did eventually go back, his father was there to welcome
him with open arms and to say welcome back, like
my son was lost but now he's found. And it's
(08:00):
such a beautiful depiction of God's love towards us that
even when we turn away, he is there to welcome
us back with open arms. So I would tell that
person it's never too late to turn back, and God
is waiting for you. He is always there for you
to return to him, and so don't be afraid to
(08:22):
turn back because it's never too late.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I love that and that story.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
The interesting thing to me is the other brother was
so mad that his dad took his other brother back,
and that just shows like we read the story and
we're like, okay, he did all these things, but the
extent of the insult that that was to his family
and to his father, I mean, he didn't just go
off and party for a little bit and come back
like it was a very grave insult and sin. And
(08:51):
the response to that brother I think should remind us
how gravely that son had sinned against his father, and
yet he was just welcomed back with those open arms.
And I think we can be both of those people.
I think there's a part of us that's that other
brother saying you don't deserve this, You don't deserve this love.
(09:12):
And I just think to be able to talk to
that voice and say, Nope, that's not true, it's biblical.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
So thank you for sharing that part of your story.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
If we could rewind a little, can you talk about
like the time. So how old were you when you
started to notice something was off and not right?
Speaker 3 (09:33):
That's a great question. I would say sixteen years old
because in high school I would have a lot of
different like ranges of mood, and I thought I was
just dealing with depression because when I got depressed, it
was a very deep depression, and so I decided to
see a therapist. Fast forward in college, and I was
(09:57):
actually the first one in my family and my immediate
family to go to therapy, and so everybody was wondering,
like what's going on, Like are you okay? Like you
don't have to speak to a stranger. But I knew
deep down that there was something off, especially with the
bouts of depression that I was having. And then I
(10:18):
would have almost a change where I would go into
a hyperactive mode where I would be so happy, so
on top of the world, and then I would plummet
back down into the depression. So I knew that that
wasn't really normal in terms of like an emotional balance.
(10:38):
So when I went to therapy, I discovered that I
might have a mood disorder, but we didn't know exactly
what it was, and at the time, I was a
little afraid to go to a psychiatrist. So I was like,
you know what, I'm just going to stick it out
in therapy and this is working for me, and that's
about it. So I really knew that something was wrong
(11:01):
in those high school years, but I also attributed it
to puberty and the range of emotions that teenagers can experience.
That's what I thought was happening. So I don't want
to say that I didn't take it seriously, but I
was at a point where I was like, I'm not
gonna go further and delve into all of this because
(11:24):
I just needed the therapy.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Yeah, And I think you bring up a really good
point just even going to therapy, you know. I think
that's true for so many of us, and especially in
the Christian faith. Like I think there's this stigma, and
I thank god it's changing.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I think the more people speak.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Out about it, the less of a stigma there is.
But there's just this idea, especially in family were you're
the first one to go to therapy. What's wrong with
you? You don't need therapy, just talk to us. Why are
you talking to a stranger? I think that hits the
nail on the head. And to even go to therapy
was probably huge for you. And then like to take
that next step to go to a psychiatrist to maybe
(12:16):
pursue medication or diagnosis or whatever like that would be
even further into the unknown for the people that.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Were surrounding you.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
And and so I'm just appreciative that you brought that
up because I think in the Christian side of things,
there's also this I think maybe like a shame, like, well,
why can't you just pray it away? Why can't you
just read your Bible more and think good things? You know,
whatever is good and noble and pure and excellent and praiseworthy.
Just think about that stuff and then you know, kind
(12:47):
of manage it through prayer and reading your Bible. Which
we don't manage diabetes through that, or high cholesterol or
blood pressure or you know. I mean, yes, I always
want to make sure people know, well, prayer is the
foundation in the backbone of everything. Medication is extra. But
I don't think God meant for us to deny all
(13:09):
medical interventions and only pray because we're supposed to be
praying and it will always make things better because you're
involving God. But that permission needs to be given. I
think like it's okay to go to therapy, it's okay
to pursue a diagnosis and medication and help. So what
did that look like for you taking that next step?
(13:31):
When did that happen? How long did it take for
that to happen.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
So I just want to also to your point, Jamie,
that you made earlier about us as Christians not really
understanding the gravity of mental health until we get to
crisis mode. And I was in that situation where I
knew that there was something off. I went to therapy.
(13:55):
I was told that it was a mood disorder, but
we didn't know exactly what it was, and I just
kind of let it sit until I was in crisis mode.
And that crisis came through a manic episode. And what
that looks like is that you are very incoherent while
you're in the episode, and you also feel like you're invincible.
(14:18):
You're on top of the world danger is not a
thing to you. And you also have like these moments
where you're talking extremely fast no one can really keep up.
And you also have a decreased need for sleep, so
you could sleep for like two hours and wake up
feeling refreshed like you slept for eight or nine. And
(14:41):
that was what I was experiencing for a couple of weeks.
And it was my family that was like, WHOA, what
is going on? Like this is a lot that you're
going through. What is happening? And so while I was
really going through that, my mother, sister, they were the
ones that you know, called the ambulance. And that's when
(15:05):
I went to the hospital. And it wasn't until I
experienced my first hospitalization that I was able to get
on medication and get into the right treatment plan and
to get to that stage of stability. But I say
all this to say that a lot of the times
we wait till the crisis happens in order to actually
(15:28):
go through with treatment and to even take that first
step to get help. And so I would encourage everybody
listening not to wait till it gets to crisis mode.
Like if you are experiencing something and you feel a
little bit off or you're experiencing symptoms. The same way
that you would tell your doctor that you're experiencing certain
(15:51):
symptoms and that something's off. You can tell a therapist
that something is off. You can tell a psychiatrist that's
something is off. Like these things don't have to be
out of the realm of possibility, Like we can go
to mental health professionals for help. And so that's when
(16:12):
it was a problem for me because I let it
go into crisis mode.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Yeah, that's such a good point. And again, just like
giving that permission is huge for people who might not
take that step otherwise. So can you talk about during
that time, you know, what was your relationship with God,
Like what were your conversations with God? Like, and during
(16:38):
that difficult time leading up to that crisis point and
then after.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
So leading up to the crisis point, my relationship with
God was it was very close. Like I would pray
about everything like I would if I was dealing with
the slightest stake, I would bring it to God. And
I was also bringing my depressive thoughts and everything to
God to the point where I was like, Okay, God
(17:07):
is fine for me, Therapy is fine for me. I
don't really need anything else. And then once I hit
crisis mode, it was almost like, God, what happened? You know,
like we were going so well and interestingly enough, when
you're in mania, that's another aspect spirituality. You feel a
(17:28):
heightened sense of spiritual awareness and you feel like you're
the closest that you are to God, when really you
could be experiencing a form of psychosis. So that's another
thing to watch out for, and that's what I was
experiencing during the manic episode. And then when I got hospitalized,
(17:49):
that's when I was very confused because I thought I
was the closest that I could ever be to God,
and now I'm in a hospital not knowing what's going on,
and I was just having a level of anger confusion,
and so my relationship with God was a bit strained
because I was thinking, there's no way that a good
(18:11):
God could allow this to happen to me. And I
was also wrestling with the fact that it did happen,
and how do I go about my Christianity and how
do I live that out while dealing with this mental
health diagnosis, Because the first thing that I was thinking,
what are the people in the church are gonna think,
(18:32):
like not only my family, but at church, like when
they hear that I have a mental health diagnosis, like
what's gonna happen? And there was a lot of shame
that came up as well, because I thought, well, if
God loves me and he's a good God and we
were so close, is he punishing me now? Like what
(18:54):
is happening? So there was like a lot of different
things that were going through my head in that season.
But the thing that I keep going back to is
that God is a faithful God. And even when I
had the questions, even when I was wrestling with what
to do next, I knew God was there for me,
(19:15):
and I knew that he was going to embrace those
questions with me and that I would be able to
not only stay close to him during that time, but
I knew that He was going to bring me through
it despite what I was going through. And there was
even a part where I was like, God, I'm angry
at you, but I need you to stay with me,
(19:39):
Like I just decided, like that was my prayer, like
I'm I'm really mad, but I know that you're here,
so I need you to be here. And he was
so that was how my relationship with God took It
was a bit strained, but I was happy that we
were able to get back on track.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
I think all of that that you just said is
so important for everybody, regardless of what they're going through,
to like just to internalize, is that like again, like
permission to say God, I think you're mean, I think
you're unfair, I'm mad, but stick with me because where
(20:20):
else am I going to go? Like, I think that's
the huge I think that is the difference between someone
who turns from God and someone who turns into God
during a tough time. Is that recognition that he can
he can take all of that anger. I think people
who think I need to bottle it up. I can't
be disrespectful to God. I can't vent my frustrations or
(20:43):
even ask the question are you even there? Do you
even care? Are you actually trying to make me suffer? Like?
Do you take joy in that? Like these are questions
that come to us in the midst of the struggle.
And feeling not able to take that to God I
think makes people go and hide away from Him if
they already knew him in the first place.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
So thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
What you said also, like I think everyone can also
benefit from what you said about your first feelings, that
first thought, and it breaks my heart that like your
first thought was what are the people in the church
can think when that should be your safe place, Like
the Body of Christ, we need to be the safe
place for people who are struggling, whether it's with mental
(21:25):
illness struggles, whether it's with physical illness struggles, whether it's
any kind of struggle anything, Like we should not be
the judging place. We should not be the place where
if you don't fit this mold, then you're not welcome
and you don't fit in, you know, like you're too inconvenient.
So you know, we need our worship service to go
on and you know, for us all to put on
(21:46):
happy faces, you know. So that just stuck with me,
and I hope I know that we all need to
hear that is like we have to be the Body
of Christ and love and just minister to people that
are heard without any kind of judgmental, superficial stuff going on.
But it's tough because we're all humans and it becomes
(22:08):
a club and it becomes a who can you put
on the best show? I mean, that's just what it
always kind of turns into if we're not careful and
check ourselves. Can you explain a little bit more about
like the closeness that you kind of felt like you
had during the mania part of the bipolar back and forth?
(22:28):
What made you feel closer to God? Was it just
a sense of closeness. Was it feeling like you heard
more from Him or got more out of scripture?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
What was that? What did that look like?
Speaker 3 (22:38):
That is a great question. So that looked like a
lot of sensationalized feelings because I was already feeling all
like on the top of the world like during mania,
and so having that sense of nothing can touch me,
(23:00):
and knowing that I'm a Christian and you know, I
believe in God, a lot of those feelings were heightened
because I was thinking, I'm in a good mood. I'm
feeling very like invincible God must be on my side.
God must be here. And the thing is, God was there.
(23:23):
But sometimes God shows up in ways that we don't
even think about. And God could have shown up through
that hospitalization. But because I was in this manicked state,
I was hearing things. I was hearing like audible voices,
and I thought it was God. But really it was
(23:45):
my own mind that was sick at the time, and
so I thought I was close to God sheerly because
I was feeling a lot of these sensationalized emotions, and
so because I was feeling that, I thought they were
the Holy Spirit, because I didn't know that it was mania,
because when you're going through it, you don't feel like
(24:07):
anything's wrong with you. Like even when my family was
telling me, Hey, Sarah, you're talking a little too fast.
We can't understand you. You're saying a lot of things
that are just very out of the ordinary for you.
I was looking at them like, what's wrong with you?
Everything that I'm saying is from God, and everything that
(24:29):
I'm feeling is from God. So how could you say
that this is not true? And so there was a
lot of back and forth with that, and I thought
a lot of the things that I was thinking were
genius thoughts, Like I thought I was going to write
ten books about my life. There were gonna be volumes
about different things, and it was a lot of just
(24:52):
me being overly sensationalized at the time.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yeah, that brings up such a good point though, because
we've all been there when we have felt like, at
least to the point where we've felt like on top
of the world and you have this feeling inside and
it's it's almost like it's easy to be like, oh, yeah,
that's God and kind of attribute the feelings to the
(25:32):
Holy Spirit. And I'm not saying the Holy Spirit can't
fill you with joy. He can, But I'm just saying
that it is a dangerous assumption for anyone to equate
the way I feel with my level of closeness to God,
because honestly, like to me, it sounds like when you
were in the depths of depression, maybe you were the
closest to God that you've been.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
I mean, would you say that, would you agree with that?
Speaker 2 (25:58):
And so can you talk about that other side of
the coin, like the time that you were in depression
and how did your relationship with God look then?
Speaker 3 (26:08):
So that is a great observation, and I would say
that I probably was the closest to God that I've
ever been in those depressed moments, because when you are
at your weakest point, that's when God's strength comes in.
And that was what I was feeling throughout those depressive moments.
(26:29):
I mean, there were times where I felt very heavy
I felt very far from God. But I took a
page from David in the Psalms where he was just like,
I'm so weak, like my bones are frail, like my
tears are my food day and night. And he was
(26:49):
just expressing those emotions to God. And I was thinking,
I need to express this to God as well, because
if this is what I'm going through, God knows what
I'm going through, and he is big enough to handle
those emotions, so I'm not gonna lie. I wasn't praying
(27:10):
as consistently as I wanted to, but when I did pray,
I brought all of what I was feeling to God.
I wrote it down in my prayer journal, and I
just had a moment where I was laying all of
those burdens at his feet. And let me tell you,
God met me in those moments, whether it was a
(27:32):
family member or a friend, or my community rallying around me,
or whether it was a worship song that reminded me
of his love, or whether it was just walking down
the street and noticing the beauty of his creation and
just knowing that if the God who created all of
(27:53):
this loves me so much that he's walking with me
through all of this, I'm gonna be okay. So those
are the things that I held onto in those depressive moments.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Wow, that is really beautiful.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
And can you talk about kind of how your church
community did show up for you.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
It sounds like they did.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
Yeah, they did. A few of them did. They showed up,
And it was mostly because they didn't understand what was
going on with me. Yeah, because my family would just
tell them like, hey, just pray, and they didn't know.
They didn't see me in church for a while, and
so they were concerned, but they didn't know what was happening.
(28:35):
And so when I finally decided to share my story
through the podcast, I shared it with them. They were
just like, Wow, we had no idea that you were
going through this, and we're so sorry that you went
through it, but we're happy that God was able to
be with you in that moment. And some of them
(28:55):
were I got a couple of like, Oh, you need
to pray a little bit more because this is something
that you could overcome through prayer or stake in your word,
because that's something that you need in order to like
get through this. So there were a couple of people
that were still kind of over spiritualizing the situation. But
(29:18):
for the most part, I would say that my church family,
once they found out the details of what happened, they
were definitely rallying around me.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yeah, And I'm sure your family just didn't probably even
have the words or the you know, because it was
something very different from what they'd been confronted with. And
I just think as members of the church, we need
to remember that. Like I'm thinking, all those years you
were functioning through bipolar disorder before crisis mode and nobody
(29:51):
knew And then you know, the woman who comes to
church puts on the mask.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
I'm sure you've been there too.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Where you're like, you know, you're having an internal struggle,
but you come and you wear the mask and nobody.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Knows what's happening.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Like I'm just like, I just want to pray that
God would help us to have eyes to see someone
who needs like a word or a prayer, or even
if we don't know exactly what's going on, that we
can have eyes to see like just the tiny red flags,
like what could those be? Could you think about something
(30:27):
maybe that would be an indicator if someone is going
through something like especially a mental health struggle, But they're
kind of masking, kind of you know, covering it up,
but just something we could see as a flag to like,
this person needs prayer.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I know.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
I've just I've been through some anxiety stuff that I
was able to kind of mask, so I can I
sort of send feelers out sometimes. But if you do,
you have any advice In general.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Yeah, I would say that the matter is very complex
because when we're going through something, we like to pretend
to be okay, and we don't like really show what
we're going through. But I would say one of the
things is detachment, Like if you see somebody who's normally there,
(31:15):
somebody who's normally engaged in ministry and you know, being
around people. If you see that person less and less,
maybe reach out to them and see what's going on.
Or another thing is like isolation, where if somebody is
just constantly keeping themselves, keeping to themselves, not really interacting
(31:40):
or not really sharing as much, like definitely reach out
to that person. With mental health. It's a little bit
tricky because a lot of the times you need to
be educated on the symptoms. But what I would say,
if you see somebody who is acting out of the ordinary,
like you see that they are a little bit aloof
(32:03):
or you see that there's something going on with them,
Like you could definitely extend like prayer for them, and
it doesn't have to be something that's overly spiritualized again,
because sometimes we get carried away and we're like, oh,
the Lord told me to tell you that it's gonna
be okay. Like sometimes they just need your presence, like
(32:24):
maybe if you sit next to them, or if you
just say I'm here for you, and if you ask
them do you need any prayer? Like go ask them
what the request specifically is. If they don't specify, but
just say I'm praying for you, or just offer some
words of encouragement to them, or nothing at all is great.
(32:46):
Like if your presence is just there and you're just
sitting with them through the tough time, that could do
a lot as well.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
That's so hard being silent and just being present is
really hard, but I could see where sometimes it's way
better than actually trying to say something awkwardly that you
might not know anything about. And yeah, are there any
things that we can take to heart of like what
(33:18):
not to do, what not to say? You've touched on
a few of them, like I'm just reading pray more.
You need more, you know you need over spiritualizing. But
is there any like what not to do if you
know someone who's struggling with mental health.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
I would say, don't emphasize the struggle too much because
a lot of the times that gets people to shut down,
Like if you say, oh, I haven't seen you for
the past couple of Sundays, where have you been? Like
that kind of gets people to feel like, Okay, they're
clocking by attendance or something like maybe I should just
(33:54):
revert back. And so don't overemphasize the struggle. Another thing
I would say is that don't equate someone's faith journey
with their mental health journey. Those are two different things,
and you do not want to be in a position
where you're telling somebody that their faith is lacking and
(34:19):
that's why they have mental health issues, Like that's the
last thing that you want to do. Another thing is
to just reach out, but also don't overly reach out,
Like if you reached out already and you know that
you did, just know that God is working on them
(34:40):
and that you know it's okay not to constantly reach out.
And the last thing I would say is educate yourself
on mental health tools because somebody might not be able
to tell you exactly what they're going through, but if
you have certain tools like nine eight that is a
(35:02):
perfect mental health crisis hotline that you can call if
you're having a crisis or somebody around you is having
a crisis, that is the perfect resource that you can have,
and other resources like that, like, you can definitely utilize those,
but you have to do it through educating yourself.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Yeah, so that's nine eight eight, and we'll link our
in our show notes also, which is a crisis helpline
and also Nomi NAMI it's the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
It's NAMI dot org. There is support, there, there is education,
there's you know, just all kinds of stuff to help
(35:45):
you educate yourself on different types of mental illness and
you know where to find help, how to support people.
It's really a good resource. So, well, this brings us
to your podcast, So tell us little bit about how
that came about and what you talk about.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
Yes, So, Rough Edges came due to my bipolar diagnosis
and I wanted to have a space where people can
not only grow, but also have the tools that they
need to be able to heal and know that mental
health and faith can work together for mental wellness. And
(36:26):
so with that, I talk about resilience. I also talk
about what to do when you feel far from God
during a mental health episode. And I also talk with
a variety of guests their mental health advocates. They are
also mental health professionals and they share their own tips
(36:49):
and guidance on how to better manage your mental health.
So there's a variety of things on there and it's
for everyone, so definitely check it out.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Right. So that's the Rough Edges Podcast.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
And what is your What is your social media handle?
Where can people connect with you online and on social media?
Speaker 3 (37:10):
Yes, so I have a website which is rough edgespodcast
dot com. I'm also on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube under
the handle rough Edges with Sarah.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Okay, well, we'll link to all that stuff on our
show notes. And I just want to thank you Sarah
again for being here, for being such a great resource
for people, like a lifeline and a glimmer of hope
for people who are struggling. And I just know that
just countless women are going to be blessed by this conversation,
(37:42):
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
How can we pray for you today?
Speaker 3 (37:46):
Definitely continued to pray for my mental health and also
that God would show me what to do going forward
with the podcast and like building it out and all
of those things.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yeah, absolutely, all right, let's pray God, thank you so
much for Sarah. Thank you for just the courage, the boldness,
and the transparency with which she has shared her story.
And we just pray that you would bless her, that
you would bless her ministry, Bless every conversation she has
(38:22):
on her podcast, Bless every episode, and just allow that
podcast and just her voice to reach more people than
she could ever possibly ask or imagine. With the hope
and the love of Christ, with the hope that comes
from sticking with you and inviting you to stick with
us through the really really tough times. We just pray
(38:44):
your blessing over her body, mind, and spirit. We pray
in Jesus' name that you would just fill her with peace,
fill her with joy, fill her with just balance and
just a sense of just knowing that You're a constant foundation,
a rock underneath her feet through all of it. We
(39:06):
pray just for her mental health. We pray for medications
to be completely balanced and good and working well. And
we just pray that she would just be a shining
like a city on a hill. When you talk about us,
I just see her just shining as a light, a
beacon of hope for people just all over who who
(39:27):
needs someone just to be in it with them and
to teach and show by example what it means to
be transformed through pain and difficulty and to just stick
with you. Lord, we just pray that you would give
her clarity and wisdom and vision for the next steps.
Just let your voice be clear and just what her
(39:49):
next step is with the podcast, with what just the ministry,
with the voice you've given her, and the testimony that
you have given her that she is so courageously obediently
just allowed you to use for the benefit of others
in Jesus name, Amen.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
We'd like to take just a quick second to thank
the team at Life Audio for their partnership with us
on the podcast. If you go to lifeaudio dot com,
you will find dozens of other faith centered podcasts in
their network. They've got shows about prayer, Bible study, parenting,
and so much more. That's lifeaudio dot Com.
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