137. HeartShare: How To Be The Partner You Want To Be

If someone asked you to define your perfect partner, how would you respond? Oftentimes, our knee-jerk response focuses on different characteristics and personality traits like ‘I want someone kind, caring, compassionate, supportive, and patient.” But, before we begin to describe our ideal intimate partner - we need to look within ourselves and ask: “Am I being the person I want my partner to be?” and “Am I being the partner I want to be?”

The old adage, ‘treat others the way you want to be treated’ rings true in nearly every relationship and - more often than not - the quest to find the intimate partner you most want lies in doing your own inner work.

In today’s episode, I discuss why it’s difficult - if not impossible - to find the intimate partner you want the most if you avoid looking within yourself and changing your own behaviors. I discuss how the characteristics and values you seek in an intimate partner are often the same characteristics and values you want in yourself and how reflecting on your life and relationships can help you become the kind of partner you want to be. I discuss why it’s crucial to be compassionate with yourself as you shift your behavior and the importance of finding opportunities each day to show up as the kind of partner you want to become. I also explain how taking time to take care of yourself can help you become a better partner and attract the intimate partner you most want to have.

“How you relate to other people is a reflection of who you are in your higher self; how you connect.” - Pripo Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:

• Adopting the characteristics and values you want in your partner
• Envisioning the person you want to be and how you want to be by learning from past mistakes and experiences
• How envisioning yourself on your deathbed and reflecting on your life can help you become the kind of partner you want to be
• How I learned to become more patient with my wife, Rainbow, by focusing on becoming the kind of partner I wanted to be
• Embracing self-care, self-love and being compassionate with yourself for the times when you’re not acting like the partner you want to be
• How setting boundaries can help you avoid criticizing your partner or showing disinterest in the challenges they face
• Asking yourself what you are doing to make it more difficult to find the partner you most want
• Why people often try to exert their power when they feel under-valued and how it impacts relationships
• Practicing the values and characteristics you want to have with your family and in your friendships
• How changing your behavior, characteristics, and values can inspire change in your partner

Let’s Talk About It!

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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk