Table Reads

Table Reads

Some jerks read screenplays that never made it to the big screen. Some of these screenplays were works by these two and some are professional works that just never made it. The one unifying characteristic of all of these scripts is that they're BAD. As such, this podcast is about more than just reading scripts, these two brave microphone jockeys also tirelessly mock the things they read, often with the help of their friends.... Show More

Episodes

Hey there. Are you looking for some exposition? WE’VE GOT IT! Are you looking for a bunch of Betsy hijinks? WE’VE GOT THAT TOO! How about some Pirates? Oh, we’ve fucking GOT THAT.

Join us for Part 4 of Chris Columbus’ most notorious script, as Indy continues his journey to find… some very nice fresh fruit?

And, as always, your input is welcomed! Let us know what you think by dropping us a line on Twitter ...
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Part three opens with Indy having just arrived in Africa, where he quickly meets an immortal pygmy, upsets some Nazis, and has to get in a speedboat chase in order to rescue that pygmy from those Nazis, lest he give Hitler the secret to his immortality...

And if all of that sounds reasonable to you, then we’re flattered that you’ve discovered our podcast, Mr. Columbus!

Whether you’re Chris Columbus or just som...
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As we continue reading Chris Columbus’ Indy script, we wrap up the Scooby Doo portion (which appears to have no bearing on anything to come), we get some bizarre Professor Jones hijinks before our quest is finally established, and yes, there is a fair amount of attempted suicide, as all Indiana Jones movies must have…?

If you watched Temple of Doom one time, on an airplane, drunk, with a crying baby next to you and headp...
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Before we tell you about the episode, you should know: We have launched a Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com/TableReads -- sign up for ad-free episodes, early access, live-streamed recording sessions and more!

Shawn, Josh and Jeff are reading a pre-Last Crusade Indy 3 script, and right out of the gate, Chris Columbus gives us the most-unlike-Indy Indiana...
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It’s the Finale of Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman script and, guys, it starts off in pretty much the dumbest way you can imagine, introducing the silliest aspect of the Wonder Woman mythos, and not even in a good or motivated fashion. Honestly, it feels like he was getting bored with writing the script and decided to just wrap it up as fast as he could.

Give it a listen and let us know if you agree!

If you'd ...
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August 12, 2019 57 min

We were warned that this script got a bit icky, and this is the part where Joss finally endangers his Feminist Cred, as Diana is made less of a Wonder Woman and more of a Wonder Possession.

And all for a man. For shame.

If you'd like more, visit us at www.tablereadspodcast.com.

You can also find us on Twitter or Instagram under the ...
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Steve and Diana arrive in Gateway City, where Diana faces off against Strife for the first time in what must be the biggest coincidence since that Venom goop randomly fell right next to Peter Parker in Spider-Man 3.

Also like Spider-Man 3, there is a dance number. And, no, I am not fucking making that up.

Luckily, this is overall not anywhere near as bad as Spider-Man 3, so you should be able to get through...
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It's part 2 of Joss Whedon's Wonder Woman and things have not gone too badly thus far...
Diana establishes herself as a badass, we meet some proper villains, and a reporter is murdered by a train...dragon...skull...thing.

Enjoy some fun screenwriting while you can, because we have been assured that this script takes a turn...

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Shawn, Kelly and Joshua start reading Joss Whedon's much-reviled 2006 Wonder Woman script!
It starts off with a pretty straightforward Wonder Woman origin story and, honestly, there's not much to be upset about in this first episode. Joss is a great writer who knows what he's doing... but this is also the straightforward part. There's time to go off the rails. For now, though, it's good enough to just enjo...
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July 15, 2019 64 min

This is it! The stunning finale of Gladiator 2! And by stunning, we mean "wherein literally not a single thing that has been set up in the entire script gets paid off and the story is completely abandoned in the middle of what should be the climax in order to just do something weird and dumb that makes no sense!"

Yes, this script fulfilled all our greatest wishes for it.

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July 8, 2019 69 min

As we reach the penultimate segment of our journey through... whatever this script is... we find that the unyielding resolve of the Christians is... pretty yielding, honestly. We get to spend some time with some pretty hip cats, get to stare at some people and get to take a full and precise inventory of everyone and every thing in Rome. With all this counting, you'd think they didn't have a confusing and complicated numeric... Read more

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July 1, 2019 59 min

Maximus reconnects with his son. Meanwhile, Lucius proves himself be a total douchebag.
Meanwhile, Giraffes get a bizarre mention, and we find out that the pen is indeed mightier than the sword... in the most ham-fisted way possible.

And in podcast news, we are now on a BUNCH more platforms, including iHeartRadio! In fact, I challenge you to find a platform we're NOT on!

Remember to check out our s...
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June 24, 2019 63 min

Maximus continues on his quest to... something something Rome? Look, I'm sorry. This script makes no sense, has no structure, and was almost certainly written only during Nick Cave's blackout periods. Trying to summarize what's happening in a given episode is, frankly, futile.
Some stuff happens. Not much, but some. Shawn, Joshua and Jeff do their best. Which is more than we can say for Nick Cave.

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June 17, 2019 67 min

This week, we're diving further into Gladiator 2, the aborted attempt to resurrect Russell Crowe's Maximus by having him... wander aimlessly through the afterlife?
Find out how bad something as great as Gladiator could go wrong!
And don't forget to subscribe to make sure you get every episode as soon as it posts!

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June 10, 2019 70 min

"Gladiator 2," you may ask? -- Yes, you read that right.
"Didn't the titular Gladiator die," you may ask? -- Oh, yes.
"Who wrote this," you may ask? -- Nick Cave.
"The musician," you would be remiss not to ask? -- The very same.
"I loved 'Red Right Hand!' but does that qualify him to write the sequel to a Best Picture-winning film," you may ask? -- No, it clear...
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June 3, 2019 81 min

It's the conclusion of John August's Preacher script! We got through this in a brisk four episodes because, honestly, it was fucking GREAT! A really solid script deserving of the source material that should have made it to the big screen (though, perhaps not with DJ Caruso at the helm... that could still have ruined it).
It's not often that we get a chance to read something good on this show, so consider this a sp...
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May 27, 2019 62 min

It's the third installment of John August's 2010 Preacher script, and we've got an Irish Vampire road tripping with a deformed youth, astral projection at a serial killer convention, Jesse and Tulip taken hostage, and something unpleasant going through Tulip's mind.
The wild ride continues apace, as we continue to have NO COMPLAINTS with this script! Do you even understand how rare that is?
[NOTE: if the...
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May 20, 2019 66 min

John August's Preacher script moves into full swing as the titular preacher, Jesse Custer, takes possession of the entity known as Genesis, he and Tulip are reunited, we're introduced to Cassidy and Arseface, and the Saint of Killers comes into play.
It's an action-packed episode that continues to BLOW OUR MINDS with how good it is! Give it a listen, you will not be disappointed!

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May 13, 2019 64 min

While Kelly is sadly indisposed, Shawn and Joshua are joined by Jeff Lewis to read a genuinely good Preacher script written by John August.
Gone is the normal snark and derision, as the gang just thoroughly enjoys an engaging and well-written script. So, our apologies.
For real though, guys... this script is SO GOOD. You're going to enjoy this.

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May 6, 2019 65 min

The FINALE of Shazam!! It’s been quite the journey to get here, but it’s worth it for what must be the single most bizarre ending scenes of any superhero script ever. Or, as this script would put it: THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE SUPERHERO FINALE YOU EVER SAW. Join the gang as they wrap up their reading of this utterly strange take on the Character that Zachary Levi ended up bringing life to!

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