April 15, 2025 • 32 mins
In today’s heartfelt and empowering episode, Rachel welcomes back the incredible Martine Williams—Life Alignment Coach for mompreneurs—for a raw conversation about failure, identity, and harmony. Together, they unpack why failure is a necessary part of growth, how to stop tying your worth to outcomes, and why now is the time to reset your life and business with intention.
Key Points Covered:
- Why failure isn’t something to fear—but something to learn from
- How to reframe failure as feedback and fuel for future success
- The real reason we take failure so personally—and how to stop
- Why detaching from outcomes can actually make you more successful
- The danger of chasing balance—and what to focus on instead
- What to do when you’ve lost your identity in the hustle
- How Martine helps mompreneurs win at work without losing at home
- Why you don’t have to fit into someone else’s blueprint to succeed
- The power of curiosity, emotional resilience, and trusting yourself
- Details on Martine’s upcoming Work Life Reset Challenge (April 22–24)
Resources Mentioned:
- Martine’s Work Life Reset Challenge: martinewilliams.com/worklifereset
- Book Recommendation: Untangle Your Emotions by Jennie Allen
- Follow Martine on Instagram: @martine311williams
- Clarity Call with Martine: martinewilliams.com/rachel
- Martine’s Podcast: Life Coaching for Mompreneurs
Closing Thoughts: This episode is a must-listen for any woman navigating business, motherhood, and big dreams while learning to trust herself along the way. If you’ve ever felt like a failure or struggled to move forward when things didn’t go as planned, this conversation will breathe life and possibility back into your journey.
⚠️ Audio Note: Heads up, friends! The audio in this episode isn’t perfect, but we promise the wisdom and encouragement inside is 100% worth it. Thanks for hanging in there with us!
Hang out with me more!
Send me the message PODCAST over on Instagram at @rachelaperry and I’ll send you my "Parties-Optional Profit Plan!"
For Additional Resources for Direct Sellers:
www.rachelaperry.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Direct Sellers Podcast, the podcast
for direct sellers who are readyto get uncomfortable, build
their business and grow a teamwhile changing the face of the
direct sales industry.
I'm your host, rachel Perry.
Join me as we get real and talkabout all the things you need
to kick some serious directsales booty From overcoming
(00:26):
limiting beliefs to sharing theexact strategies you need to
attract the right people whobecome customers and beg to join
your team.
I've got you covered, girl.
I'm going to be your new BFFwhen it comes to balancing life
and kids while building yourdirect sales business with poise
, peace of mind and, of course,a good set of fake eyelashes.
Let's get started.
(00:52):
Hello, my friends, welcome backto another episode of the Direct
Sellers Podcast.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited because today wehave a guest who's been on the
podcast before.
Again, I think it's been awhile, like a long, long time.
Yeah Right, I'm just so happyto have Martine Williams here.
Martine is, you're just goingto love this episode, because
(01:15):
Martine has this gift of justspeaking such like, she's such
an encourager and she's so wise,and I'm just so delighted to
have her here today so that youguys can participate in this and
just gain so much knowledgefrom her.
Martine, thank you for beinghere today.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I am so excited to be here.
I you know I love you and Ilove the work that you're doing
and I just love any opportunityI can to come on and encourage
people.
That is, that is my superpower,so I'm so.
I'm thankful that you see itand that you feel it, and any
opportunity I get to do thatjust fills my cup.
It really does so thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
You know, it's so funny because I mean, I think
that's like one of mysuperpowers as well.
It's like connecting andencouraging and so being around
you that's probably part of itis like I just feel so drawn to
you because I feel so good whenI'm around you, it's so, it's so
great.
You just just your presence,you just are amazing.
Martine, would you do me afavor and just kind of share a
little bit about who you are andwhat you do?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Yes.
So I'm a life alignmentalignment coach for mompreneurs,
and so the work that I do in myone-on-one practice is really
helping you to win at workwithout losing at home.
Do that without burning out,right.
So, as an entrepreneur for 18years, I started
entrepreneurship in direct sales.
So I was with a company called31 Gifts for 16 years and, being
in the homes of women having alarge organization that I was
leading, I went through my ownstages of burnout, went through
(02:43):
my own stages of kind of losingmy identity on the way to
success and sacrificing lots ofthings on the altar of that
success.
And so, having worked throughit myself and being on the other
side, I just really started tonotice like this is something
that so many mompreneurs arestruggling with.
They want to win at work andthey don't want to lose at home
at the same time, and it ispossible.
(03:03):
And you don't want to lose athome at the same time, and it is
possible.
And you don't have to burnyourself out to create that.
It is a reality that you cancreate.
And so I'm just superpassionate about helping women
to see there's another way.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah, I love that so much because there is and
there's that identity piece thatyou speak on too is so real.
I think I've experienced thatsort of loss of identity so many
stages in my, you know, in mylife y'all, I just turned 50.
So I've had quite a life, oh mygosh, but it's.
But just looking back at thestages, right, and how we, when
(03:38):
we're new moms, like that's somuch a part of who we, I mean,
still is.
Who are we kidding, like right,yeah, your mom, that's so much
a part of who we, I mean, stillis.
Who are we kidding Like right,yeah, your mom.
But that loss of identity is somassive and you don't sometimes
you don't even realize thatit's happened.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Yeah, yeah.
It's just so easy to be wrappedup in.
What I see is that our identityis what we do versus who we are
.
Right, and that's it's who youare.
It's not what you do.
You do mom, motherhood, you doentrepreneurship, but that's not
who you are.
And so many of us lose sight ofthat and we lose sight of the
(04:13):
fun parts of ourselves in theday-to-day grind of being a mom
and the day-to-day grind ofentrepreneurship.
So that's a big piece of it iswhat are the things that
actually bring you joy and bringyou energy, that are unique to
you, and that's part of youridentity.
And we lose sight of thatbecause we're just chasing the
(04:34):
success, chasing the balance.
That's a trap.
If you didn't know that balancework-life balance is a trap,
but it's not possible.
So I like to think of it asharmony.
But there are just differentseasons of life and my kids were
little when I first started anentrepreneurship and I remember
working my business in the nooksand crannies of time and then,
(04:55):
when they got to be older youknow now they're 17 and 20, and
they're not wanting as much timewith me, and so it's just being
excited and fulfilled in eachof those seasons and realizing
who do I need to become in thisseason to achieve what I want in
this season of life andentrepreneurship?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Oh, I love that so much.
You sent an email out the otherday that I would love to dive
into because it was so powerful.
You talked about kind of it waswe were talking, it was we we
were talking about.
I was clearly really you guys.
It was just so good.
It just resonated so much withme and you talked about like the
(05:35):
three critical mindset shiftsthat we need to take when it
comes to failure.
So I'm going to read them outto you and then I'd love to dive
in.
So failure is good feedback.
Failure is only an event andfailure is truly necessary.
And I'd love to just dive intothat because I do think I know
we both have our, had been inthis business world for a long
(05:56):
time and we've experiencedfailure many times and we've
seen others experience failure.
We've seen others run fromfailure right, because nobody
necessarily is like I'm ready tofail.
But you had such a powerfulperspective on these shifts, so
I'd love to just dive into likethe first piece of it.
Just failure is good feedback.
Can you kind of dive into that?
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yeah, if you can look at it as, um, I always like to
think of it as I just figuredout a way that something didn't
work.
Yeah, like it's not I failed,or bad mom, or I'm a bad
business owner, entrepreneurit's like, ok, I tried something
, it didn't work, I'm going toget feedback from that and then
(06:39):
I'm going to move forward.
And I didn't always used tothink this way, rachel.
I mean I did for a long time,right, oh, well, well, that just
failed.
I might as well just pack upshop and just leave entrepreneur
, entrepreneurship altogether.
But when you think about like Iknow we're talking to probably
women who have kids, to moms,when your child is learning to
(06:59):
walk and they fall like, do you,and they do it, oh, guess
you're never gonna learn to walk, right, I mean, you're such,
I'll give up now.
I mean, I can't believe youfell.
Right to ourselves, we speak sounkindly to ourselves and we
don't allow it to just befeedback and just realize, okay,
I tried something, it didn'twork, so now I'm just gonna step
back, regroup and move forward.
(07:22):
So one of my overall thoughtsthat keeps me out of like that
doom of failure is I'm eithergetting the result that I want
or the lesson that I need.
I say that all that is a reallycore belief of mine and that
keeps me from when things don'twork because, listen,
entrepreneurship is a rollercoaster, if y'all didn't know
that.
So you don't own a business,you actually own a roller
(07:43):
coaster and it goes up and down.
There's some upside downmoments.
Things are completely out ofyour control right.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Sometimes it's broken , sometimes it's working.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
You're like upside down what's happening here but
the way you choose to look atall of those really determines
the joy you get to experience onthe ride, and so, for, what
keeps me in that forward motionversus being stuck, is I just
got a lesson that I needed.
If I didn't get this, that'swhat I wanted.
What did I learn here?
So you're the winning or you'relearning, and that helps me to
(08:15):
see failure as feedback.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Right, I love that, and so it's detaching yourself
from the outcome.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yeah, and I think what happens is, if you think
about throwing a dart at atarget, until you throw the
first dart you don't knowwhether you're on the bullseye
or not, but you're so afraid ofnot hitting the bullseye that
you never throw the dart becauseyou fear missing it when really
you've got to throw the firstdart and say, okay, where am I
(08:45):
off?
Am I way off, or am I just onestep off?
And when you pull the trigger,or until you throw that dart,
you have no idea where you areon the map, afraid of the
failure and the emotions thatcome along with the failure.
And if we're not seeing it asfeedback, you're definitely
probably taking it personal.
And then you beat yourself upabout it and they're like, well,
(09:06):
that didn't feel good, so I'mnot going to do that again.
That's where emotionalresilience comes into.
If you're willing to feeldisappointment, if you're
willing to feel that somethingdidn't work and feel the failure
, you won't fear it anymore.
It's just like it's part of theprocess.
It's necessary.
The only way I'm going to knowif I'm on target to reach that
(09:28):
client or bring that person intomy program or sell that offer,
the only way you're going toknow is to go, and you can't
feel failure and go at the sametime and be effective.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Whoa, you can't feel failure and go at the same time.
That's big.
And I love the analogy ofplaying darts, because, y'all, I
do not have an athletic bone inmy body and when I, we have a
dartboard downstairs, and when I, it's not like we play darts
all the time or anything, butwhen we do, I pretty much suck.
(10:00):
So, but here's the thing,here's the thing on that.
I love it.
I'm able to let loose and havefun, knowing that I'm probably
going to fail and I'm not goingto get a bullseye, okay, but
it's fun, right we?
Because I released myself fromthat expectation that I'm going
to get the bullseye every timeand I'm able to have fun.
So it's the same for you.
(10:21):
You know, as you're tryingdifferent things, you can have
fun in the process if we releasethat failure.
Oh, I love that analogy.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
And if you're in curious energy, so that's the
other piece that really loves metoo Like when we feel fear,
failure.
A lot of times there's likethere's a right way and a wrong
way yes, right, and I get intothat mindset a lot and that
stops me in my tracks If I, if Ibelieve there's a right way and
there's.
If I don't do it that way, thenit's the wrong way.
(10:52):
That dips me down into thatkind of failure loop.
Um, but if I am like I'm justgoing to be curious, like I'm
getting ready to go into alaunch, I'm going to try some
new things, I'm just going to becurious.
There is no right or wrong wayto do this, I'm going to figure
it out.
Those are the things that I'msaying and I truly believe those
things.
But if I am in like attachmentenergy or I've got to get it
(11:15):
right, or convincing energy, ittakes me out of the game,
because then I'm like I'm notopen to the fun, I'm not open to
the possibilities, I'm like,well, if I don't hit the
bullseye, it was wasted, yeah,and that's what keeps people
stuck and that keeps people fromeven throwing the first start,
because they don't want to feelthat way.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
That's so true.
And there's that perfectionpiece in there too, right?
A lot of my students who arecurrently in my backup plan
program, where they're learninghow to build a digital product
of their own alongside theirdirect sales business.
There's this little, there'sthis fear that what they create
isn't good enough or that theywill fail when they put it out
(11:57):
there, and there's so muchattachment to that outcome.
And the reality is, like yousaid, we need to be scientists.
We've got to figure out what isand what isn't going to work.
I mean, I can't tell you howmany lead magnets I've created
right, like in the beginning,like I don't even know.
There are so many things thatI've created that haven't worked
, and that's okay.
It's okay.
(12:18):
That's how we learn.
Like you said, it's all aprocess.
So what about?
The failure is just an event?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Yeah, so that goes to the identity piece right, like
if you truly can see it.
I read this in Marie Forleo'sbook Everything is Figure Out,
and when she said that, she waslike failure is not a
characteristic flaw, it's justan event, it's just something
that happened.
It doesn't mean you're afailure, but that's what we do,
like we look at something thatdidn't work and we don't say,
(12:47):
well, how can I have said thatdifferently?
Or how could I create adifferent process?
There we're like oh, I'm afailure.
We take it personal.
And again, when you bring it onto, this is who I am.
I'm a failure versus I'm anentrepreneur who figures things
out.
It just takes you out of theland of possibility.
It keeps you in the problem andout of possibility.
(13:09):
So for you to be able to seefailure is just an event, it's
just something that happened andI learned from it and I'm going
to move on and create anotherevent.
And this event might also fail,but I don't have to fear it
because it's not a directreflection of who I am.
Yeah, why don't have?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
to fear it because it's not a direct reflection of
who I am.
Yeah, why do we do that?
Why do we do that?
Why do we make it mean?
Speaker 2 (13:31):
something about us?
Right, we do.
We make it mean something aboutus versus like I mean.
I'll give you an example.
I was in my mastermind and thecoach was talking about her
leaving page and, like you know,it wasn't converting like she
wanted it to and like she allthe things she was saying to
herself about why it was failing.
(13:51):
And she was talking to one ofher peers about it and they were
like change all your buttons toyellow and she converted.
It had nothing to do with her,her ability to coach, her
ability to write copy, like allof the things that you would
initially say I'm failing or I'ma failure.
(14:12):
It was literally the color of abutton.
It's crazy.
Right now, I know all you'regoing to go change all your
buttons together.
That might not be the colorright now because that changes
too right, but that's why wehave to be willing to be
flexible and curious and justknow I'm going to try this.
It requires you to really thinkabout what you're thinking
(14:33):
about.
That's the difference.
So many of us go intoentrepreneurship like action and
taking action and taking action, and we're trying to create a
different result with the samelevel of thinking.
You can't do that.
You really have to think aboutwhat you're thinking about going
into your launch, thinkingabout what you're thinking about
when you're offering up thisnew freebie that you've been
(14:55):
helping your clients with.
Like, what are you saying toyou If you're saying to yourself
, no one's going to buy thisright?
No one's going to buy it Right,because it's the energy you
bring to the offer, it's yourconfidence you bring to the
offer or you bring to the table.
So you, that's the, that's thework that people don't see.
(15:16):
Yeah, like, they see yousuccessful, they see me
successful.
There's a lot of work that we doin ourself, right, in our own
mindsets, in our own thoughtprocess.
And so why do we do it?
It's because we're not spendingthis time focusing on the
inside work.
We can't fix an externalproblem with internal problem
(15:39):
with external things.
Right, we try to change thebehavior before we change.
Like, what am I actuallythinking and where did that
thought come from?
Yeah, right, like we justbelieve, whatever the brain is
offering up, you're a failure.
How is that not true?
Like, the next time you feellike a failure, just ask
yourself that question how isthat true?
And see what comes up.
I think you'll.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
You'll be amazed at what comes up yeah, I love that
so much because you, you know somuch of this process.
I feel like so many things havehappened as I've built this
business where I'm like, well,that'll be a good story for
stage.
You know like, yeah, that'sgoing to be a great story, I'm
going to teach how I overcamethat.
Well, that's good, you know,and I, that's.
(16:19):
That's just a different way oflooking at it, rather than just
being like, oh my gosh, like Ishould just quit right now.
Yeah, I think, okay, this isgonna be really great for when
I'm on stage in front ofthousands and thousands of
people.
So so it's almost like, let'smanifest this.
Maybe that's the problem in mycase.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
I'm just kidding.
Okay, just get really honestwith yourself.
Yeah, I think we're afraid alsoto see those thoughts.
We're afraid to admit I'mscared or I'm afraid that you
know, I don't like that.
I feel like, well, let's justlook at it.
Yeah, you don't have to judgeyourself for being there.
It's just where you are.
(16:57):
It's not who you are, it's justwhere you are right now.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
And the only way to move forward is to actually be
honest about where you are rightnow.
And if you're thinking this isgoing to fail, you need to pause
and think about why.
Are you thinking that beforeyou go to put it out there,
right, like what's one littlebridge thought you can create
eight to get you from?
This is going to fail becauseyou might, you might not be able
to get.
(17:22):
This is going to sell millionsof copies.
Right, if you're in the placeof.
This is going to fail, but canyou get to?
I'm learning how to sellmillions of copies.
That subtle shift again takesyou out of problem into
possibility.
We want to be in possibility,we want to be in curiosity.
We don't want to be in stuckfailure mode.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Oh my gosh, I love that so much.
I think I just want to likehave you with me all the time.
Like, if you could just be likenext to me I think I'm great to
work with, like we could justhang out.
It's just you're, what you'resaying is so good and I'm so
excited for everyone to hearthis.
Okay, so let's talk about thelast mindset shift, and that's.
Failure is truly necessary.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
It's not bad, right, it's not bad, and some of you
just need to have that shift.
It's part of the process, right, it's the way you refine things
, is the way you grow, is theway you make things better.
You learn, you learn, and so toknow that it's almost like just
to expect it.
Don't be surprised by it.
(18:27):
Expect it, right, just expectthere's going to be some things.
Like I remember when we wereplanning our wedding and like I
was very organized, I had abinder, had all the things.
I didn't have a wedding planner, I did it all.
But you know, I had people whohad been before me Right, I
hadn't been.
And they're like something isgoing to go wrong.
Yeah, it's, it's literally okay, something is going to go wrong
(18:50):
.
So expect it, so you're nothugely or what you know.
Like it ruins the whole night,right.
And I remember walking into ourreception and the tablecloths
that I wanted were supposed tobe these beautiful lace and they
were just these plain whitetablecloths.
And then I'm having the firstdance with my dad and he's like
we're out of wine already.
But I was like it's okay, Iexpected it.
(19:13):
I expected not everything to goperfect.
It's when we're in this likeperfectionistic loop everything
has to be perfect, there's aright way to do it, and then
when something doesn't work, itjust takes us out.
We see it as something bad.
Versus that, versus this is anopportunity for me to grow.
This is an opportunity for meto do it better next time.
But you can't get there if yourthought is I'm a failure.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Right.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
That's so true.
You can't.
Your brain's not even open tothe possibility that failure is
a good thing If you're thinkingit makes me feel bad or it makes
a failure right.
So that's where you have to getthere first in your mind is
change your thoughts aboutfailure.
How do you see failure?
(20:01):
How do you see failure?
How do you define failure?
What are you making failuremean about you?
That's a really great question.
What are you making it meanabout you when something doesn't
work?
That's exactly it.
Yeah, how can you detachyourself from that?
You just didn't get the outcomeyou wanted.
It was the first thought youhave.
(20:22):
It's me, I did something wrong.
I'm not good at this.
I'm not enough.
I should have done this, Ishould have done that.
Like it's again, we want to ownresponsibility for the things
that we can do different, butwhat do you make it mean about
you personally or your identitywhen you fail?
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Yeah, cause you are not the result.
Like the results are justthings that happen.
That's not you.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Yeah, yeah.
And you think about all thepeople I mean there's all the
successful people that you seetoday were just willing to fail
over, over, over and over againand like for me, I was talking
to a client the other day Iremember being when I was in
direct sales like, and I wouldget a no, I'm like I would just
be so excited and I would checkit off.
I know I have to go through thelane of no to get to my yes, so
(21:10):
I'm going to celebrate every no, but that's a mindset shift you
have to have.
Right Is realizing that the nois actually getting me closer to
my yes.
Yeah, that's so true.
Yeah, so it's all.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
It's all a mindset thing and really it's not even
like we probably should justrename failure because it is a
failure, right when?
When things don't work the wayyou want them to, or the way
you're hoping that they will, orthe way you envision it to
happen, doesn't mean that youfailed.
It just means it didn't.
It just means it didn't work.
It didn't work this time, sonow you're that much closer to
(21:44):
what does work.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Yeah, I think Marie calls it in her book.
The acronym is failed attemptand learning.
Is that right?
I love that.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Okay, so let's so you're learning right.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
So that attempt didn't work.
Now we're going to try andlearn again, and we're going to
learn again and learn again.
And me and you have to findthis for yourself, right, you
have to find, like, what's theword, what's the thought, what's
the energy you want to be infor me, because I know my brain
likes to go to right way, wrongway, thinking yes, I can stay in
curious energy.
I'm just curious.
(22:15):
I mean, I would literallypicture a curious george the
monkey.
I'm like if I could just stayin curious energy, then it keeps
me out of wealth.
You're a failure, you know.
Like it just keeps me out ofthat.
So maybe that's for some ofthem that are listening it's
like how can you just be curious, unattached from the outcome,
but just curious?
I'm just going to try the thingand we're going to see how it
(22:36):
works.
And if I don't hit the target,I'm going to just going to, you
know, pull back, regroup andthen move forward again.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
I talk about that in my programs all the time, like,
like I said before, likescientists get curious, try
different things, and I think,especially in the direct sales
industry, this is hard, it'smore of a challenge.
I don't want to say hard, it'smore of a challenge because
we're taught do it this way,this is what's worked for me and
I'm having such success.
This is how it works and wetake it as okay.
(23:04):
It's either this or that.
I remember and I've told thisstory so many times I remember,
like writing out top leaders,like their scripts of exactly
what they say when they'resharing the business.
But that didn't work for mebecause it wasn't me, it was
just, and I was missing thepoint.
And I think it's so importantfor us to remember that it's not
black and white, even, and somepeople are more attuned to that
(23:25):
than others.
Right, like, like I tend to bestill in my business today I'll
be like but no, this is whatyou're telling me to do, so I'm
supposed to do that, and justgiving yourself the freedom to
try something different, todeviate from the norm or
whatever is okay.
Like, do it, because that's howwe are able to sort of escape
that black and white, it's rightor wrong sort of mindset,
(23:48):
because that's also holding usback.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Yeah.
And what if you just trustedthat you had the answer?
Yeah, right.
Like what if you just trustedthat your brain is capable of
coming up with the perfectanswer?
And the perfect not perfect,but the best way to talk about
your business, because it'sgoing to come from your energy
and your thoughts, versussomeone else's cookie cutter
(24:13):
system.
It just doesn't work foreveryone.
It doesn't, and I think we tryto like, squeeze ourselves into
other people's platforms orprocesses, and there are some
like tried and true systems andprocesses.
I'm not saying that, but eventhose systems and processes can
be personalized for you.
Yes, there's only one of you,and God created you unique and
(24:36):
uniquely amazing to do what onlyyou can do in your space, and
so people are going to beattracted to how you do it.
Yeah, yeah.
And so again, like, how can youreally think about your unique
abilities that you bring to yourbrand and do things that feel?
Because it's not the words yousay, it's not the email that you
send, it's the energy thatyou're in when you say and do
(24:59):
those things.
If you're in a right wrong way,energy when you're writing like
If you're in a right wrong way,energy when you're writing like
, let's just say this failureemail, then, like, you will feel
that in that email, yourcustomers will feel that in
their email.
But if you're excited and youfeel like this is really going
to help someone today and you'rein that curious energy of like,
are they going to open it?
Are they going to respond to it?
Are they really going to openit?
(25:20):
Are they going to respond to it?
Are they really going to lovethis, like it?
Just, your energy is what isgoing to bring people into your
world and you have to find yourenergy, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
It's got to be your energy, not.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Rachel's energy, not my energy.
It's got to be your energy,like what is the thing for you.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah, as you were talking about how there are
tried and true systems, right,like there are things that we
know what works in the directsales, we know what works when
we're building a business, andall the things but I want you to
think about.
I don't know why this came tomy mind, okay.
But chili you know, there areall these times that people have
like chili cookoffs right, I'venever even been a part of one,
so I don't know why I'm likeacting like I know what I'm
(25:58):
talking making, but everyone hasa different recipe and everyone
has a secret ingredient andeveryone puts a little bit of
themselves in that chili, right,that's what it's like.
That's what you need to do inbusiness, whether it be you're
building your own sort of sidehustle or you're building your
direct sales business.
You do the thing.
You know what works.
Now let's try and personalize ita little bit more and making it
(26:19):
you.
So I love that so much.
Okay, I feel like we could havea whole nother discussion about
knowing how to trust yourselfand all of that.
Yeah, so we'll just have tohave you back, okay, because I
would love to talk about that,because that's definitely been a
journey for me personally to betotally honest and transparent,
like learning to trust myselfthat I can make the right
(26:43):
decisions, that I know what I'mdoing, that you know so much
there.
So we're definitely going tohave to be back for that.
Tell me where can everyone?
Or tell us where can everyonefind you All the things?
Give us all the things.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Yeah, so my website is martinwilliamscom, so you can
go on there.
You can have an email that goesout, as Rachel was talking
about, every single week, everyMonday, so I have a glow up list
.
So you want to definitely makesure you're on that, because
you'll have inspiration andtangible tactical tips to come
into your inbox every Monday.
I also have a podcast, which youwere a guest, on life coaching
(27:16):
for mompreneurs.
You can go listen to thatpodcast on any of your favorite
podcast listening apps.
You can go listen to thatpodcast on any of your favorite
podcast listening apps, and Iactually have offer free clarity
calls and so I created that foryour listeners, and so you can
just go to MartineWilliamscomforward slash Rachel and you can
book your free clarity callthere.
We can talk about all thethings we talked about today and
(27:36):
just help you to get reallyclear on where you are right now
, because that's the first stepis awareness around where you
are right now, where you want togo next and how we're going to
get you there.
So that is also available toyou.
So, and I'm on Instagram,martine311williams I am on
Instagram too.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Okay, I love that so much.
Ooh, I love that.
Get yourself a clarity cally'all, okay Before we go, cause
you do this too, and I love it.
I think you do this.
Okay before we go, because youdo this too, and I love it.
I think you do this.
What is your favorite book?
Do you do something like that?
Speaker 2 (28:07):
on your podcast.
You know I used to in thepodcast and I was thinking about
this the other day.
I'm like I need to bring thatback, because I used to always
ask what your favorite book was,what your favorite app was.
Like just some of your favorite.
Oh, my goodness, Y'all.
I love to read, so that's whyI'm asking you?
Speaker 1 (28:21):
because I know you know I tend to stray, to like
the fiction and you are morenonfiction and I'm like I'm
always looking for a good bookto listen to when it comes to
nonfiction.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Yes, okay.
So this one I just read.
I don't know if it'snecessarily my favorite, but
it's really good.
It's called Untangle yourEmotions by Jeannie Allen.
Good, it's called Untangle yourEmotions by Jeannie Allen, and
we just did it with my book cluband talked about it last night
and they were some of them arelike cause they're definitely
fiction readers and they werelike.
I mean I was could not wait tohear what they had to say about
it, but they're like, now thatwe're talking about it, I'm glad
(28:53):
that I read it.
Yeah, I never picked it upmyself to read it, but it really
just helps you because, again,part of entrepreneurship is
learning to manage your mind,yeah, learning to manage your
emotions and learning if we'rewilling to feel anything, we'll
be willing to do anything.
If you're willing to feelfailure and disappointment,
you'll be willing to do thethings that you know are
(29:14):
probably going to bring uponsome failure and disappointment.
So we don't have to fear it, wecan.
We have the emotional safety tohold that emotion.
And so that book is just allabout, like, helping you to
untangle some of these emotionsand not try to fix them, but
just allow yourself to feel them.
So okay.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
I'm going to be on my audible next?
Yeah, cause I love to do that.
I love to listen to likepersonal development books while
I'm getting ready in themorning.
Um, just because like gives metime to think about it.
So so good.
Thank you so much for being onthis podcast today.
I just appreciate it, and everytime I get to hang out with you
(29:51):
is the best time ever, so thankyou.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
No, thank you.
Thank you, it's an honor to beon here and, yeah, we'll just
have to keep having thesepodcasts swaps yes, agreed.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Agreed, it's just going to be amazing On the road
together, cause I feel like wecould really do some, some, some
, some, amazing, right.
All right, thank you, martine.
All right, thank you so much.
All right, martine, before wego, I know you have a challenge,
I believe, coming up.
Would you tell us a little bitabout that?
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I want you to think of it like a coaching, coaching
week, like you're going to.
We're going to be spending somuch time together, so we're
going to do three days together.
It's called the work life reset, and so each day we're going to
come together and we're goingto be talking about this reset.
Why do you need the reset?
Reset what is a reset?
We're going to reset your focusso that you're really clear on
what your priorities are.
(30:40):
We're going to shift yourmindset and your habits.
So we're going to reset yourmind, reset habits and then
realign your life withboundaries and harmony.
So, three days, you and Itogether and all the people, all
your listeners, come togetherfor three days.
You could get to spend timethree days with a life alignment
coach, someone who can reallybring you into possibility.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
I mean, that's happening.
I'm going to be there.
I'm so excited about thisbecause we were just talking
about this before and then we'llget the link.
We were just talking about thisLike, martine has this
incredible ability to help yousee the possibility and even I
consider myself a dreamer, Iconsider myself like I can help
other people see possibilitiesbut just in a few words, martine
(31:26):
has this incredible gift tojust help you see what is
possible for you, and so I feellike everyone listening should
sign up for this, because youare such an incredibly gifted
coach and this I guarantee.
You guys will walk away fromthat three days feeling like a
new person.
So where can people sign up?
Speaker 2 (31:48):
So they can, martinwilliamscom forward, slash
work life reset.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
It will be in the notes, you guys.
So if you didn't get it, justlook down below.
It's all there, martine.
Oh, when is it so?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
it's going to kick off April 22nd, so the 22nd,
23rd and 24th.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Awesome, perfect, okay, well, go sign up, you guys
.
Martine again, thank you somuch.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
This is awesome.
That's it for this episode ofthe direct sellers podcast, but
our fun doesn't have to end now.
You'll catch me hanging outover on Instagram between
episodes and I'd love for you tojoin me.
So hop into my DMs.
I promise you're not gettingany hey girl messages and I
promise I'm not going to beasking you to weirdly buy
anything.
Send me the message podcast soI can send you my free 90-day
(32:40):
action planner, because whodoesn't love a good template?
Welcome to the Direct Sellers Podcast, the podcast
for direct sellers who are readyto get uncomfortable, build
their business and grow a teamwhile changing the face of the
direct sales industry.
I'm your host, rachel Perry.
Join me as we get real and talkabout all the things you need
to kick some serious directsales booty From overcoming
(00:26):
limiting beliefs to sharing theexact strategies you need to
attract the right people whobecome customers and beg to join
your team.
I've got you covered, girl.
I'm going to be your new BFFwhen it comes to balancing life
and kids while building yourdirect sales business with poise
, peace of mind and, of course,a good set of fake eyelashes.
Let's get started.
(00:52):
Hello, my friends, welcome backto another episode of the Direct
Sellers Podcast.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited because today wehave a guest who's been on the
podcast before.
Again, I think it's been awhile, like a long, long time.
Yeah Right, I'm just so happyto have Martine Williams here.
Martine is, you're just goingto love this episode, because
(01:15):
Martine has this gift of justspeaking such like, she's such
an encourager and she's so wise,and I'm just so delighted to
have her here today so that youguys can participate in this and
just gain so much knowledgefrom her.
Martine, thank you for beinghere today.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I am so excited to be here.
I you know I love you and Ilove the work that you're doing
and I just love any opportunityI can to come on and encourage
people.
That is, that is my superpower,so I'm so.
I'm thankful that you see itand that you feel it, and any
opportunity I get to do thatjust fills my cup.
It really does so thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
You know, it's so funny because I mean, I think
that's like one of mysuperpowers as well.
It's like connecting andencouraging and so being around
you that's probably part of itis like I just feel so drawn to
you because I feel so good whenI'm around you, it's so, it's so
great.
You just just your presence,you just are amazing.
Martine, would you do me afavor and just kind of share a
little bit about who you are andwhat you do?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Yes.
So I'm a life alignmentalignment coach for mompreneurs,
and so the work that I do in myone-on-one practice is really
helping you to win at workwithout losing at home.
Do that without burning out,right.
So, as an entrepreneur for 18years, I started
entrepreneurship in direct sales.
So I was with a company called31 Gifts for 16 years and, being
in the homes of women having alarge organization that I was
leading, I went through my ownstages of burnout, went through
(02:43):
my own stages of kind of losingmy identity on the way to
success and sacrificing lots ofthings on the altar of that
success.
And so, having worked throughit myself and being on the other
side, I just really started tonotice like this is something
that so many mompreneurs arestruggling with.
They want to win at work andthey don't want to lose at home
at the same time, and it ispossible.
(03:03):
And you don't want to lose athome at the same time, and it is
possible.
And you don't have to burnyourself out to create that.
It is a reality that you cancreate.
And so I'm just superpassionate about helping women
to see there's another way.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah, I love that so much because there is and
there's that identity piece thatyou speak on too is so real.
I think I've experienced thatsort of loss of identity so many
stages in my, you know, in mylife y'all, I just turned 50.
So I've had quite a life, oh mygosh, but it's.
But just looking back at thestages, right, and how we, when
(03:38):
we're new moms, like that's somuch a part of who we, I mean,
still is.
Who are we kidding, like right,yeah, your mom, that's so much
a part of who we, I mean, stillis.
Who are we kidding Like right,yeah, your mom.
But that loss of identity is somassive and you don't sometimes
you don't even realize thatit's happened.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Yeah, yeah.
It's just so easy to be wrappedup in.
What I see is that our identityis what we do versus who we are
.
Right, and that's it's who youare.
It's not what you do.
You do mom, motherhood, you doentrepreneurship, but that's not
who you are.
And so many of us lose sight ofthat and we lose sight of the
(04:13):
fun parts of ourselves in theday-to-day grind of being a mom
and the day-to-day grind ofentrepreneurship.
So that's a big piece of it iswhat are the things that
actually bring you joy and bringyou energy, that are unique to
you, and that's part of youridentity.
And we lose sight of thatbecause we're just chasing the
(04:34):
success, chasing the balance.
That's a trap.
If you didn't know that balancework-life balance is a trap,
but it's not possible.
So I like to think of it asharmony.
But there are just differentseasons of life and my kids were
little when I first started anentrepreneurship and I remember
working my business in the nooksand crannies of time and then,
(04:55):
when they got to be older youknow now they're 17 and 20, and
they're not wanting as much timewith me, and so it's just being
excited and fulfilled in eachof those seasons and realizing
who do I need to become in thisseason to achieve what I want in
this season of life andentrepreneurship?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Oh, I love that so much.
You sent an email out the otherday that I would love to dive
into because it was so powerful.
You talked about kind of it waswe were talking, it was we we
were talking about.
I was clearly really you guys.
It was just so good.
It just resonated so much withme and you talked about like the
(05:35):
three critical mindset shiftsthat we need to take when it
comes to failure.
So I'm going to read them outto you and then I'd love to dive
in.
So failure is good feedback.
Failure is only an event andfailure is truly necessary.
And I'd love to just dive intothat because I do think I know
we both have our, had been inthis business world for a long
(05:56):
time and we've experiencedfailure many times and we've
seen others experience failure.
We've seen others run fromfailure right, because nobody
necessarily is like I'm ready tofail.
But you had such a powerfulperspective on these shifts, so
I'd love to just dive into likethe first piece of it.
Just failure is good feedback.
Can you kind of dive into that?
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yeah, if you can look at it as, um, I always like to
think of it as I just figuredout a way that something didn't
work.
Yeah, like it's not I failed,or bad mom, or I'm a bad
business owner, entrepreneurit's like, ok, I tried something
, it didn't work, I'm going toget feedback from that and then
(06:39):
I'm going to move forward.
And I didn't always used tothink this way, rachel.
I mean I did for a long time,right, oh, well, well, that just
failed.
I might as well just pack upshop and just leave entrepreneur
, entrepreneurship altogether.
But when you think about like Iknow we're talking to probably
women who have kids, to moms,when your child is learning to
(06:59):
walk and they fall like, do you,and they do it, oh, guess
you're never gonna learn to walk, right, I mean, you're such,
I'll give up now.
I mean, I can't believe youfell.
Right to ourselves, we speak sounkindly to ourselves and we
don't allow it to just befeedback and just realize, okay,
I tried something, it didn'twork, so now I'm just gonna step
back, regroup and move forward.
(07:22):
So one of my overall thoughtsthat keeps me out of like that
doom of failure is I'm eithergetting the result that I want
or the lesson that I need.
I say that all that is a reallycore belief of mine and that
keeps me from when things don'twork because, listen,
entrepreneurship is a rollercoaster, if y'all didn't know
that.
So you don't own a business,you actually own a roller
(07:43):
coaster and it goes up and down.
There's some upside downmoments.
Things are completely out ofyour control right.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Sometimes it's broken , sometimes it's working.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
You're like upside down what's happening here but
the way you choose to look atall of those really determines
the joy you get to experience onthe ride, and so, for, what
keeps me in that forward motionversus being stuck, is I just
got a lesson that I needed.
If I didn't get this, that'swhat I wanted.
What did I learn here?
So you're the winning or you'relearning, and that helps me to
(08:15):
see failure as feedback.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Right, I love that, and so it's detaching yourself
from the outcome.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yeah, and I think what happens is, if you think
about throwing a dart at atarget, until you throw the
first dart you don't knowwhether you're on the bullseye
or not, but you're so afraid ofnot hitting the bullseye that
you never throw the dart becauseyou fear missing it when really
you've got to throw the firstdart and say, okay, where am I
(08:45):
off?
Am I way off, or am I just onestep off?
And when you pull the trigger,or until you throw that dart,
you have no idea where you areon the map, afraid of the
failure and the emotions thatcome along with the failure.
And if we're not seeing it asfeedback, you're definitely
probably taking it personal.
And then you beat yourself upabout it and they're like, well,
(09:06):
that didn't feel good, so I'mnot going to do that again.
That's where emotionalresilience comes into.
If you're willing to feeldisappointment, if you're
willing to feel that somethingdidn't work and feel the failure
, you won't fear it anymore.
It's just like it's part of theprocess.
It's necessary.
The only way I'm going to knowif I'm on target to reach that
(09:28):
client or bring that person intomy program or sell that offer,
the only way you're going toknow is to go, and you can't
feel failure and go at the sametime and be effective.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Whoa, you can't feel failure and go at the same time.
That's big.
And I love the analogy ofplaying darts, because, y'all, I
do not have an athletic bone inmy body and when I, we have a
dartboard downstairs, and when I, it's not like we play darts
all the time or anything, butwhen we do, I pretty much suck.
(10:00):
So, but here's the thing,here's the thing on that.
I love it.
I'm able to let loose and havefun, knowing that I'm probably
going to fail and I'm not goingto get a bullseye, okay, but
it's fun, right we?
Because I released myself fromthat expectation that I'm going
to get the bullseye every timeand I'm able to have fun.
So it's the same for you.
(10:21):
You know, as you're tryingdifferent things, you can have
fun in the process if we releasethat failure.
Oh, I love that analogy.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
And if you're in curious energy, so that's the
other piece that really loves metoo Like when we feel fear,
failure.
A lot of times there's likethere's a right way and a wrong
way yes, right, and I get intothat mindset a lot and that
stops me in my tracks If I, if Ibelieve there's a right way and
there's.
If I don't do it that way, thenit's the wrong way.
(10:52):
That dips me down into thatkind of failure loop.
Um, but if I am like I'm justgoing to be curious, like I'm
getting ready to go into alaunch, I'm going to try some
new things, I'm just going to becurious.
There is no right or wrong wayto do this, I'm going to figure
it out.
Those are the things that I'msaying and I truly believe those
things.
But if I am in like attachmentenergy or I've got to get it
(11:15):
right, or convincing energy, ittakes me out of the game,
because then I'm like I'm notopen to the fun, I'm not open to
the possibilities, I'm like,well, if I don't hit the
bullseye, it was wasted, yeah,and that's what keeps people
stuck and that keeps people fromeven throwing the first start,
because they don't want to feelthat way.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
That's so true.
And there's that perfectionpiece in there too, right?
A lot of my students who arecurrently in my backup plan
program, where they're learninghow to build a digital product
of their own alongside theirdirect sales business.
There's this little, there'sthis fear that what they create
isn't good enough or that theywill fail when they put it out
(11:57):
there, and there's so muchattachment to that outcome.
And the reality is, like yousaid, we need to be scientists.
We've got to figure out what isand what isn't going to work.
I mean, I can't tell you howmany lead magnets I've created
right, like in the beginning,like I don't even know.
There are so many things thatI've created that haven't worked
, and that's okay.
It's okay.
(12:18):
That's how we learn.
Like you said, it's all aprocess.
So what about?
The failure is just an event?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Yeah, so that goes to the identity piece right, like
if you truly can see it.
I read this in Marie Forleo'sbook Everything is Figure Out,
and when she said that, she waslike failure is not a
characteristic flaw, it's justan event, it's just something
that happened.
It doesn't mean you're afailure, but that's what we do,
like we look at something thatdidn't work and we don't say,
(12:47):
well, how can I have said thatdifferently?
Or how could I create adifferent process?
There we're like oh, I'm afailure.
We take it personal.
And again, when you bring it onto, this is who I am.
I'm a failure versus I'm anentrepreneur who figures things
out.
It just takes you out of theland of possibility.
It keeps you in the problem andout of possibility.
(13:09):
So for you to be able to seefailure is just an event, it's
just something that happened andI learned from it and I'm going
to move on and create anotherevent.
And this event might also fail,but I don't have to fear it
because it's not a directreflection of who I am.
Yeah, why don't have?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
to fear it because it's not a direct reflection of
who I am.
Yeah, why do we do that?
Why do we do that?
Why do we make it mean?
Speaker 2 (13:31):
something about us?
Right, we do.
We make it mean something aboutus versus like I mean.
I'll give you an example.
I was in my mastermind and thecoach was talking about her
leaving page and, like you know,it wasn't converting like she
wanted it to and like she allthe things she was saying to
herself about why it was failing.
(13:51):
And she was talking to one ofher peers about it and they were
like change all your buttons toyellow and she converted.
It had nothing to do with her,her ability to coach, her
ability to write copy, like allof the things that you would
initially say I'm failing or I'ma failure.
(14:12):
It was literally the color of abutton.
It's crazy.
Right now, I know all you'regoing to go change all your
buttons together.
That might not be the colorright now because that changes
too right, but that's why wehave to be willing to be
flexible and curious and justknow I'm going to try this.
It requires you to really thinkabout what you're thinking
(14:33):
about.
That's the difference.
So many of us go intoentrepreneurship like action and
taking action and taking action, and we're trying to create a
different result with the samelevel of thinking.
You can't do that.
You really have to think aboutwhat you're thinking about going
into your launch, thinkingabout what you're thinking about
when you're offering up thisnew freebie that you've been
(14:55):
helping your clients with.
Like, what are you saying toyou If you're saying to yourself
, no one's going to buy thisright?
No one's going to buy it Right,because it's the energy you
bring to the offer, it's yourconfidence you bring to the
offer or you bring to the table.
So you, that's the, that's thework that people don't see.
(15:16):
Yeah, like, they see yousuccessful, they see me
successful.
There's a lot of work that we doin ourself, right, in our own
mindsets, in our own thoughtprocess.
And so why do we do it?
It's because we're not spendingthis time focusing on the
inside work.
We can't fix an externalproblem with internal problem
(15:39):
with external things.
Right, we try to change thebehavior before we change.
Like, what am I actuallythinking and where did that
thought come from?
Yeah, right, like we justbelieve, whatever the brain is
offering up, you're a failure.
How is that not true?
Like, the next time you feellike a failure, just ask
yourself that question how isthat true?
And see what comes up.
I think you'll.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
You'll be amazed at what comes up yeah, I love that
so much because you, you know somuch of this process.
I feel like so many things havehappened as I've built this
business where I'm like, well,that'll be a good story for
stage.
You know like, yeah, that'sgoing to be a great story, I'm
going to teach how I overcamethat.
Well, that's good, you know,and I, that's.
(16:19):
That's just a different way oflooking at it, rather than just
being like, oh my gosh, like Ishould just quit right now.
Yeah, I think, okay, this isgonna be really great for when
I'm on stage in front ofthousands and thousands of
people.
So so it's almost like, let'smanifest this.
Maybe that's the problem in mycase.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
I'm just kidding.
Okay, just get really honestwith yourself.
Yeah, I think we're afraid alsoto see those thoughts.
We're afraid to admit I'mscared or I'm afraid that you
know, I don't like that.
I feel like, well, let's justlook at it.
Yeah, you don't have to judgeyourself for being there.
It's just where you are.
(16:57):
It's not who you are, it's justwhere you are right now.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
And the only way to move forward is to actually be
honest about where you are rightnow.
And if you're thinking this isgoing to fail, you need to pause
and think about why.
Are you thinking that beforeyou go to put it out there,
right, like what's one littlebridge thought you can create
eight to get you from?
This is going to fail becauseyou might, you might not be able
to get.
(17:22):
This is going to sell millionsof copies.
Right, if you're in the placeof.
This is going to fail, but canyou get to?
I'm learning how to sellmillions of copies.
That subtle shift again takesyou out of problem into
possibility.
We want to be in possibility,we want to be in curiosity.
We don't want to be in stuckfailure mode.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Oh my gosh, I love that so much.
I think I just want to likehave you with me all the time.
Like, if you could just be likenext to me I think I'm great to
work with, like we could justhang out.
It's just you're, what you'resaying is so good and I'm so
excited for everyone to hearthis.
Okay, so let's talk about thelast mindset shift, and that's.
Failure is truly necessary.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
It's not bad, right, it's not bad, and some of you
just need to have that shift.
It's part of the process, right, it's the way you refine things
, is the way you grow, is theway you make things better.
You learn, you learn, and so toknow that it's almost like just
to expect it.
Don't be surprised by it.
(18:27):
Expect it, right, just expectthere's going to be some things.
Like I remember when we wereplanning our wedding and like I
was very organized, I had abinder, had all the things.
I didn't have a wedding planner, I did it all.
But you know, I had people whohad been before me Right, I
hadn't been.
And they're like something isgoing to go wrong.
Yeah, it's, it's literally okay, something is going to go wrong
(18:50):
.
So expect it, so you're nothugely or what you know.
Like it ruins the whole night,right.
And I remember walking into ourreception and the tablecloths
that I wanted were supposed tobe these beautiful lace and they
were just these plain whitetablecloths.
And then I'm having the firstdance with my dad and he's like
we're out of wine already.
But I was like it's okay, Iexpected it.
(19:13):
I expected not everything to goperfect.
It's when we're in this likeperfectionistic loop everything
has to be perfect, there's aright way to do it, and then
when something doesn't work, itjust takes us out.
We see it as something bad.
Versus that, versus this is anopportunity for me to grow.
This is an opportunity for meto do it better next time.
But you can't get there if yourthought is I'm a failure.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Right.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
That's so true.
You can't.
Your brain's not even open tothe possibility that failure is
a good thing If you're thinkingit makes me feel bad or it makes
a failure right.
So that's where you have to getthere first in your mind is
change your thoughts aboutfailure.
How do you see failure?
(20:01):
How do you see failure?
How do you define failure?
What are you making failuremean about you?
That's a really great question.
What are you making it meanabout you when something doesn't
work?
That's exactly it.
Yeah, how can you detachyourself from that?
You just didn't get the outcomeyou wanted.
It was the first thought youhave.
(20:22):
It's me, I did something wrong.
I'm not good at this.
I'm not enough.
I should have done this, Ishould have done that.
Like it's again, we want to ownresponsibility for the things
that we can do different, butwhat do you make it mean about
you personally or your identitywhen you fail?
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Yeah, cause you are not the result.
Like the results are justthings that happen.
That's not you.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Yeah, yeah.
And you think about all thepeople I mean there's all the
successful people that you seetoday were just willing to fail
over, over, over and over againand like for me, I was talking
to a client the other day Iremember being when I was in
direct sales like, and I wouldget a no, I'm like I would just
be so excited and I would checkit off.
I know I have to go through thelane of no to get to my yes, so
(21:10):
I'm going to celebrate every no, but that's a mindset shift you
have to have.
Right Is realizing that the nois actually getting me closer to
my yes.
Yeah, that's so true.
Yeah, so it's all.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
It's all a mindset thing and really it's not even
like we probably should justrename failure because it is a
failure, right when?
When things don't work the wayyou want them to, or the way
you're hoping that they will, orthe way you envision it to
happen, doesn't mean that youfailed.
It just means it didn't.
It just means it didn't work.
It didn't work this time, sonow you're that much closer to
(21:44):
what does work.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Yeah, I think Marie calls it in her book.
The acronym is failed attemptand learning.
Is that right?
I love that.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Okay, so let's so you're learning right.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
So that attempt didn't work.
Now we're going to try andlearn again, and we're going to
learn again and learn again.
And me and you have to findthis for yourself, right, you
have to find, like, what's theword, what's the thought, what's
the energy you want to be infor me, because I know my brain
likes to go to right way, wrongway, thinking yes, I can stay in
curious energy.
I'm just curious.
(22:15):
I mean, I would literallypicture a curious george the
monkey.
I'm like if I could just stayin curious energy, then it keeps
me out of wealth.
You're a failure, you know.
Like it just keeps me out ofthat.
So maybe that's for some ofthem that are listening it's
like how can you just be curious, unattached from the outcome,
but just curious?
I'm just going to try the thingand we're going to see how it
(22:36):
works.
And if I don't hit the target,I'm going to just going to, you
know, pull back, regroup andthen move forward again.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
I talk about that in my programs all the time, like,
like I said before, likescientists get curious, try
different things, and I think,especially in the direct sales
industry, this is hard, it'smore of a challenge.
I don't want to say hard, it'smore of a challenge because
we're taught do it this way,this is what's worked for me and
I'm having such success.
This is how it works and wetake it as okay.
(23:04):
It's either this or that.
I remember and I've told thisstory so many times I remember,
like writing out top leaders,like their scripts of exactly
what they say when they'resharing the business.
But that didn't work for mebecause it wasn't me, it was
just, and I was missing thepoint.
And I think it's so importantfor us to remember that it's not
black and white, even, and somepeople are more attuned to that
(23:25):
than others.
Right, like, like I tend to bestill in my business today I'll
be like but no, this is whatyou're telling me to do, so I'm
supposed to do that, and justgiving yourself the freedom to
try something different, todeviate from the norm or
whatever is okay.
Like, do it, because that's howwe are able to sort of escape
that black and white, it's rightor wrong sort of mindset,
(23:48):
because that's also holding usback.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Yeah.
And what if you just trustedthat you had the answer?
Yeah, right.
Like what if you just trustedthat your brain is capable of
coming up with the perfectanswer?
And the perfect not perfect,but the best way to talk about
your business, because it'sgoing to come from your energy
and your thoughts, versussomeone else's cookie cutter
(24:13):
system.
It just doesn't work foreveryone.
It doesn't, and I think we tryto like, squeeze ourselves into
other people's platforms orprocesses, and there are some
like tried and true systems andprocesses.
I'm not saying that, but eventhose systems and processes can
be personalized for you.
Yes, there's only one of you,and God created you unique and
(24:36):
uniquely amazing to do what onlyyou can do in your space, and
so people are going to beattracted to how you do it.
Yeah, yeah.
And so again, like, how can youreally think about your unique
abilities that you bring to yourbrand and do things that feel?
Because it's not the words yousay, it's not the email that you
send, it's the energy thatyou're in when you say and do
(24:59):
those things.
If you're in a right wrong way,energy when you're writing like
If you're in a right wrong way,energy when you're writing like
, let's just say this failureemail, then, like, you will feel
that in that email, yourcustomers will feel that in
their email.
But if you're excited and youfeel like this is really going
to help someone today and you'rein that curious energy of like,
are they going to open it?
Are they going to respond to it?
Are they really going to openit?
(25:20):
Are they going to respond to it?
Are they really going to lovethis, like it?
Just, your energy is what isgoing to bring people into your
world and you have to find yourenergy, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
It's got to be your energy, not.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Rachel's energy, not my energy.
It's got to be your energy,like what is the thing for you.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah, as you were talking about how there are
tried and true systems, right,like there are things that we
know what works in the directsales, we know what works when
we're building a business, andall the things but I want you to
think about.
I don't know why this came tomy mind, okay.
But chili you know, there areall these times that people have
like chili cookoffs right, I'venever even been a part of one,
so I don't know why I'm likeacting like I know what I'm
(25:58):
talking making, but everyone hasa different recipe and everyone
has a secret ingredient andeveryone puts a little bit of
themselves in that chili, right,that's what it's like.
That's what you need to do inbusiness, whether it be you're
building your own sort of sidehustle or you're building your
direct sales business.
You do the thing.
You know what works.
Now let's try and personalize ita little bit more and making it
(26:19):
you.
So I love that so much.
Okay, I feel like we could havea whole nother discussion about
knowing how to trust yourselfand all of that.
Yeah, so we'll just have tohave you back, okay, because I
would love to talk about that,because that's definitely been a
journey for me personally to betotally honest and transparent,
like learning to trust myselfthat I can make the right
(26:43):
decisions, that I know what I'mdoing, that you know so much
there.
So we're definitely going tohave to be back for that.
Tell me where can everyone?
Or tell us where can everyonefind you All the things?
Give us all the things.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Yeah, so my website is martinwilliamscom, so you can
go on there.
You can have an email that goesout, as Rachel was talking
about, every single week, everyMonday, so I have a glow up list
.
So you want to definitely makesure you're on that, because
you'll have inspiration andtangible tactical tips to come
into your inbox every Monday.
I also have a podcast, which youwere a guest, on life coaching
(27:16):
for mompreneurs.
You can go listen to thatpodcast on any of your favorite
podcast listening apps.
You can go listen to thatpodcast on any of your favorite
podcast listening apps, and Iactually have offer free clarity
calls and so I created that foryour listeners, and so you can
just go to MartineWilliamscomforward slash Rachel and you can
book your free clarity callthere.
We can talk about all thethings we talked about today and
(27:36):
just help you to get reallyclear on where you are right now
, because that's the first stepis awareness around where you
are right now, where you want togo next and how we're going to
get you there.
So that is also available toyou.
So, and I'm on Instagram,martine311williams I am on
Instagram too.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Okay, I love that so much.
Ooh, I love that.
Get yourself a clarity cally'all, okay Before we go, cause
you do this too, and I love it.
I think you do this.
Okay before we go, because youdo this too, and I love it.
I think you do this.
What is your favorite book?
Do you do something like that?
Speaker 2 (28:07):
on your podcast.
You know I used to in thepodcast and I was thinking about
this the other day.
I'm like I need to bring thatback, because I used to always
ask what your favorite book was,what your favorite app was.
Like just some of your favorite.
Oh, my goodness, Y'all.
I love to read, so that's whyI'm asking you?
Speaker 1 (28:21):
because I know you know I tend to stray, to like
the fiction and you are morenonfiction and I'm like I'm
always looking for a good bookto listen to when it comes to
nonfiction.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Yes, okay.
So this one I just read.
I don't know if it'snecessarily my favorite, but
it's really good.
It's called Untangle yourEmotions by Jeannie Allen.
Good, it's called Untangle yourEmotions by Jeannie Allen, and
we just did it with my book cluband talked about it last night
and they were some of them arelike cause they're definitely
fiction readers and they werelike.
I mean I was could not wait tohear what they had to say about
it, but they're like, now thatwe're talking about it, I'm glad
(28:53):
that I read it.
Yeah, I never picked it upmyself to read it, but it really
just helps you because, again,part of entrepreneurship is
learning to manage your mind,yeah, learning to manage your
emotions and learning if we'rewilling to feel anything, we'll
be willing to do anything.
If you're willing to feelfailure and disappointment,
you'll be willing to do thethings that you know are
(29:14):
probably going to bring uponsome failure and disappointment.
So we don't have to fear it, wecan.
We have the emotional safety tohold that emotion.
And so that book is just allabout, like, helping you to
untangle some of these emotionsand not try to fix them, but
just allow yourself to feel them.
So okay.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
I'm going to be on my audible next?
Yeah, cause I love to do that.
I love to listen to likepersonal development books while
I'm getting ready in themorning.
Um, just because like gives metime to think about it.
So so good.
Thank you so much for being onthis podcast today.
I just appreciate it, and everytime I get to hang out with you
(29:51):
is the best time ever, so thankyou.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
No, thank you.
Thank you, it's an honor to beon here and, yeah, we'll just
have to keep having thesepodcasts swaps yes, agreed.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Agreed, it's just going to be amazing On the road
together, cause I feel like wecould really do some, some, some
, some, amazing, right.
All right, thank you, martine.
All right, thank you so much.
All right, martine, before wego, I know you have a challenge,
I believe, coming up.
Would you tell us a little bitabout that?
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I want you to think of it like a coaching, coaching
week, like you're going to.
We're going to be spending somuch time together, so we're
going to do three days together.
It's called the work life reset, and so each day we're going to
come together and we're goingto be talking about this reset.
Why do you need the reset?
Reset what is a reset?
We're going to reset your focusso that you're really clear on
what your priorities are.
(30:40):
We're going to shift yourmindset and your habits.
So we're going to reset yourmind, reset habits and then
realign your life withboundaries and harmony.
So, three days, you and Itogether and all the people, all
your listeners, come togetherfor three days.
You could get to spend timethree days with a life alignment
coach, someone who can reallybring you into possibility.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
I mean, that's happening.
I'm going to be there.
I'm so excited about thisbecause we were just talking
about this before and then we'llget the link.
We were just talking about thisLike, martine has this
incredible ability to help yousee the possibility and even I
consider myself a dreamer, Iconsider myself like I can help
other people see possibilitiesbut just in a few words, martine
(31:26):
has this incredible gift tojust help you see what is
possible for you, and so I feellike everyone listening should
sign up for this, because youare such an incredibly gifted
coach and this I guarantee.
You guys will walk away fromthat three days feeling like a
new person.
So where can people sign up?
Speaker 2 (31:48):
So they can, martinwilliamscom forward, slash
work life reset.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
It will be in the notes, you guys.
So if you didn't get it, justlook down below.
It's all there, martine.
Oh, when is it so?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
it's going to kick off April 22nd, so the 22nd,
23rd and 24th.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Awesome, perfect, okay, well, go sign up, you guys
.
Martine again, thank you somuch.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
This is awesome.
That's it for this episode ofthe direct sellers podcast, but
our fun doesn't have to end now.
You'll catch me hanging outover on Instagram between
episodes and I'd love for you tojoin me.
So hop into my DMs.
I promise you're not gettingany hey girl messages and I
promise I'm not going to beasking you to weirdly buy
anything.
Send me the message podcast soI can send you my free 90-day
(32:40):
action planner, because whodoesn't love a good template?
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